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R  A  T  T  L  I N, 


THE       REEFER 


ErilTED  BY 


THE  AUTHOR  OP  "PETER  SIMPLE.' 


''All  hands  reef  topsails — Away,  aloft!" 


IN  THREE  VOLUMES. 


VOL.  L 


ibcconD  lEDilion* 


LONDON: 
:hard  bentley,  new  BURLINGTON  STREEJ'. 

1836. 

34/. 


ADVERTISEMENT. 


A  portion  of  the  following  work  has  appeared 
in  the  pages  of  the  Metropolitan  Magazine. 
It  has  now  been  re-arranged,  and  fiction,  in  the 
latter  part,  blended  with  fact  In  consenting 
to  be  the  Uterary  sponsor  to  these  volumes,  in 
the  shape  that  they  now  assume,  I  am  actuated 
but  by  one  motiye ;  that  of  fmaHing  the  author 
to  appear  before  the  pubUc,  and  thus  to  give 
him  an  opportunity  of  being  tried  by  an  ordeal 
by  which  alone  he  must  either  stand  or  falL 

F.  M. 


London,  May^  1836. 


J 


ILLUSTRATIONS 


TO 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 


VOLUME  THE  FIRST. 

I'AGF 

Just  too  late  -  -  .         Frontispiece 

In-door  oelebbation  of  tue  Fifth  of  Novem. 


BER 

The  Cork  Leo 


158 
2S5 


VOLUME  THE  SECOND. 

An  Invalid      ... 

Pavino  the  Way  at  Sea 

A  Visit  to  a  West  India  Island 


Frontispiecf 
Ul 
292 


VOLUME  THE  THIRD. 

A  Tour  up  and  down  a  Man  of  War  Frontispiece 
Rattun  conducted  to  nis  Mother's  Grave  215 
Rattlin's  Bargain  with  the  Poacher        -        343 


CONTENTS. 


TO    THE    FIRST   VOLUME. 


Chapter  I* — I  begin  a  life  without  rimUitude  with  a 
simile — Start  off  with  four  horses— and,  finally,  I 
make  my  first  appearance  on  any  stage  under  the 
protection  of  the  "  Crown"        .  Page  1 

Chaptbk  II. — I  am  decidedly  an  incumbrance— Begin 
life  with  half  a  dozen  fruitless  journeys— Find  a 
home  and  a  foster.father—and  talk  learnedly  of  tri- 
angles and  Archbishops  .  .  .10 

Cbaptbb  III.— My  foster-father  forsakes  the  right 
line  of  conduct  chalked  out  for  him — I  grow  ill — 
Find  Pot-luck  and  Baptism— Go  to  Bath,  and  take 
my  first  lessons  in  the  arts  of  Persuasion  SO 

CuAFTBB  IV. — My  proximity  to  the  clergy  impels  me 
to  preach — I  advocate  the  vulgar ;  and  prove  that 
neither  the  humble  nor  the  low  are  necessarily  the  de- 
based—consequently, this  chapter  need  not  be  read, 

29 

Chapter  V. — I  receive  my  first  lessons  in  pugnacity 
-*and  imbibe  the  evil  spirit^Leam  to  read  by  in- 
tuition, and  to  fight  by  practice — Go  to  school  to 
a  soldier-*Am  a  good  boy,  and  get  whipped  38 

Chapter  VI. — This  chapter  showeth,  in  a  methodical 
manner,  how  to  find  a  faith  and  lose  all  religion ; 
also,  to  procure  a  Call  for  persons  of  all  manner  of 
callings  ...        47 

Chaptbr  VII.— I  too  have  my  call— to  death's  door — 


J 


VI  CONTGNTa. 

A  great  riu  in  life— Brandon  allows  neither  slugs  nor 
sluggards  in  his  saw-pit— -Is  mined,  and  beats  the 
rererend  Mi.  Gate  .        .  -        5d 

Chapter  VIII Another  migration— from  the  rurali- 

tiea  ofCut-lhroatLaneto  the  grores  of  Academus— 
I  am  forced  Into  good  clothes  end  the  paths  of  learn- 
ing in  Bpit«  ol  mf  teeth,  though  I  use  them  spitefiillj, 
6S 

Cbaptek  IXr— I  prore  to  be,  not  one  in  a  thousand, 
but  one  in  a  quarter  of  that  number,  to  whom  no 
qutrter  was  shown— In  spite  of  mj  entreaties  I  am 
eril  entreated,  and  not  onlj  placed  on  the  lowest 
form,  but  made  excessively  uncomfortable  on  mj 
seat  of  honour 73 

CaAPTBR  X^— I  grow  egotistical,  and  being  pleased 
with  myself,  give  good  adrice — A  visit ;  and  a 
•ttwige  jumble  of  tirades,  tears,  tutors,  tenderness, 
and  a  teakettle  .  .  .  «S 

Chattsr  XI. — Containetb  a  lecture  on  love  from  a 
personification  of  loveliness — and  showeth  that 
•up«rstition  has  its  sweets  as  well  as  its  horrors — 
and  also  how  to  avoid  the  infection  of  the  evil  eye, 

99 

CKArvMit  Xll— Ralph  lecturetfa  on  divinity  and  littlt 
boys' Dether  garments  —  Despondeth  exceedingly  — 
and  being  the  weakest  goeth  to  the  wall,  and  there 
findeth  consolation— An  old  friend  with  an  old  face, 
and  excellent  pro  vent  .  .  .110 

CsAmR  Xlll^Pray  remember  the  fifth  of  Nftvem- 
ber—  Rumours  of  wars— preceded  by  scholastic  elo- 
cution, and  succeeded  by  a  cold  dinner,  darkness, 
and  determination  131 


CflAmB  XIV.-^^'Hard  words  Ike  precttfton  %i  luiid 
blows— ^A  tanwup  to  be  apprdiended^  bat  not  merely 
of  polysyllsblefl — Ralph  commencee  rnnog-^Rovt  re- 
nsting — The  latter  gets  the  whip-hand  of  us   .     132 

Chapteb  XV.  —  Much  excellent^  and  oonsequently 
useless,  diplomaoy  disf^yedr^-A  tnioe^  and  many 
heads  brokett^^the  battle  rages;  and,  at  length,  the 
pueiiles  adiieye  the  Tictory  142 

CttAWTXM  XVI«— An  affecting  appeal  tiiat>ef*ects  no- 
thug— The  rebeto  commcsce  their  ripoicings-^They 
ace  suddenly  damped— The  ftrsmcn  defeat  the  fire- 
boys  by  mesas  of  water— The  victors  are  Tanquished, 
who  duNTtiy  find  themselves  covered  with  disgrace 
and  the  bed-clothes  .  .153 

Chapteb  XVll^^Is  full  of  moral  and  reHgious  disqui- 
sition, therefore  it  behoveth  the  general  reader  to. 
look  at  and  pass  it  by  with  that  inattention  that 
readers  generally  have  for  morality  and  religion    161 

CHAFTxa  XVIII. — Ralph  receives  an  infusion  of  pa- 
triotism— Is  himself  drilled  and  drills  a  touch-hoie — 
He  turns  out  a  monstrous  big  liar — Somebody  eomes 
to  see  liim  whom  nobody  can  see,  and  the  mystery 
ends  in  another  ....    175 

CBAra»  XIX — A  chapter  of  disappointments,  which 
Ralph  hopes  the  reader  will  not  share — Some  com- 
parisons, which  he  hopes  will  not  be  found  odious, 
and  some  reflecUons,  which  he  thinks  cannot  be  re- 
sented .....     l^ 


>.XX« — Ralph  groweth  egragiously  modest, 
and  boasteth  immoderately,  imtil  he  is  beaten  by 
one  with  one  foot  in  the  grave;  with  something 
touching  the  feats  of  the  man  without  feet       .    205 


,v/ 


VIU  CONTENTS. 

Chapter  XXI Treateth  of  the  amativeness  of  wooden 

members^  and  the  folly  of  virgin  frights— Ralph  put- 
teth  his  threat  of  versifying  into  actual  execution^ 
for  which  he  may  be  thought  worthy  of  being  exe- 
cuted 218 

Chapter  XXII.-^ftalph  describe th  a  rare  character, 
a  noble  and  a  good  man — He  goeth  to  fish  without 
a  rod,  and  suifereth  more  than  fifty  rods  could  inflict, 
and  is  not  reconciled  to  the  honour  of  the  sun  riding 
him  a  pick-a-back         .....    S29 

Chapter  XXIII. — Reminiscences^A  friend  found  and 
a  line  lost — Ralph  makes  a  new  acquaintance  and  a 
hearty  supper,  both  of  which  do  him  much  good,    240 

Chapter  XXIV« — A  disaster  by  water  is  the  first 
cause  of  all  Ralph's  fiiture  disasters  upon  it — He 
gets  with  his  tutor  out  of  his  depth,  in  latitude  and 
longitude ;  and  finds  himself  rivalled  by  the  man 
with  the  peg         .         .  .         .  •        •    251 

Chapter  XXV.^Evidences  of  good  taste  in  favour  of 
Master  Ralph — Jealousy  ushers  in  revenge,  revenge 
retaliation^  which  he  is  compelled  to  chronicle  upon 
the  usher's  face,  and  what  punishment  thereupon 
ensued  •  •  .  .  264 

Chapter  XXVI. — A  reconciliation — A  walk  planned, 
and  a  man  planted — The  latter  found  to  grow  im- 
patient^Ralph  at  length  rigged  out  as  a  reefer,  277 

Chapter  XXVII.^Ralph  commences  his  public  ca- 
reer by  accepting  an  I.  O.  U.,  he  hardly  knows  why 
— He  finds  his  future  captain  based  on  a  bottle — He 
18  not  taken  by  the  hand  ....     290 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 


CHAPTER  L 


I  begin  a  life  without  similitude  with  •  nmile — Start 
off  with  four  horses — and  finally  I  make  my  first 
appearance  on  any  stage  under  the  protection  of  the 
«  Crown." 

Ik  tiie  volumes  I  am  going  to  write,  it  is  my 
intentioii  to  adhere  rigidly  to  the  truth — ^Ihis 
wiQ  be  bond  fide  an  auto-biography— and,  as 
the  public  like  novelty,  an  auto-biography  with* 
out  an  iota  of  fiction  in  the  whole  of  it,  will 
be  the  greatest  novelty  yet  offered  to  its  fas- 
tidiousness. As  many  of  the  events  which  it 
will  be  my  province  to  record,  are  singular  and 

VOL.  I.  B 


2  BATTLIK,    THE    BEEFKR. 

even  startling,  I  may  be  permitted  to  sport  a 
little  moral  philosophy,  drawn  from  the  kennel 
in  Lower  Thames  Street,  which  may  teach  my 
readers  to  hesitate  ere  they  condemn  as  inven- 
tion mere  matters  of  absolute,  though  uncom- 
mon &ct 

Let  us  stand  with  that  old  gentleman  under 
the  porch  of  St  Magnus's  church,  for  the  rain 
is  thrashing  the  streets  till  they  actually  look 
white,  and  the  kennel  before  us  is  swelled  into 
a  formidable,  and  hardly  fordable  brook.  That 
kennel  is  the  stream  of  life — and  a  dirty  and 
a  weary  one  it  is,  if  we  may  judge  by  the  old 
gentleman'^s  looks.  All  is  hurried  into  that 
common  sewer,  the  grave  I  What  bubbles  float 
down  it !  Every  thing  that  is  fairly  in  the 
middle  of  the  stream  seems  to  sail  with  it, 
steadily  and  triumphantly — and  many  a  filthy 
fragment  enters  the  sewer  with  a  pomp  and 
dignity  not  unlike  the  funereal  obsequies  of  a 
great  lord.  But  my  business  is  with  that  little 
chip ;  by  some  means  it  has  been  thrust  out  of 
the  principal  current,  and  now  it  is  out,  see 
what  pranks  it  is  playing.     How  erratic  are  its 


BATTLIN)  THB   BXEFXl.  8 

motions !— «uito  what  strange  holes  and  comers  it 
b  thrust !  The  same  phenomenon  will  happen 
in  life.  Once  start  a  being  out  of  the  usual 
course  of  existence,  and  many  and  strange  will 
be  his  adventures  ere  he  once  more  be  allowed 
to  regain  the  common  stream,  and  be  permitted 
to  float  down,  in  silent  tranquillity,  to  the  grave 
common  to  alL 

About  seven  o'clock  in  the  evening  of  the 
20th  of  February,  17 — ,  a  postchaise  with  four 
horses  drove  with  fiery  haste  up  to  the  door  of 
the  Crown  Inn,  at  Reading.    The  evening  had 
closed  in  bitterly.     A  continuous  storm  of  min- 
gled sleet  and  rain  had  driven  every  being  who 
had  a  home,  to  the  shelter  it  afforded.    As  the 
vehicle  stopped,  with  a  most  consequential  jerk, 
and  the  steps  were  flung  down  with  that  clatter 
post-boys  will  make  when  they  can  get  four 
horses  before  their  leathern  boxes,  the  solitary 
inmate  seemed  to  shrink  &rther  into  its  dark 
comer,  instead  of  coming  forward  eagerly  to 
exchange  the  comforts  of  the  blazing  hearth 
for  the  damp  confinement  of  a  hired  chaise. 
Thrice  bad  the  obsequious  landlord  bowed  his 

B  2 


4  BATTLIlf,    THE    REEFER. 

well-powdered  hesd,  and,  at  each  inclination 
wiped  off,  witli  the  palm  of  his  hand,  the  rain- 
drops that  had  settled  on  the  central  baldness  of 
his  occiput^  ere  the  traveller  seemed  to  be  aware 
that  such  a  man  existed  as  the  landlord  of  the 
Crown,  or  that  that  landlord  was  standing  at 
the  chaise-door.  At  length,  a  female,  closely 
veiled,  and  buried  in  shawls  like  a  sultana, 
tremblingly  took  the  proffered  arm,  and  tottered 
into  the  hotel.  Shortly  after,  mine  host  re- 
turned, attended  by  porter,  waiter,  and  stable- 
boy — and  giving,  by  the  lady's  orders,  a  hand- 
some gratuity  to  each  of  the  post-boys,  asked 
for  the  travellei'e  luggage.  There  was  none  T 
At  this  announcement  the  landlord,  as  he  after- 
wards expressed  himself,  was  "  struck  all  of  a 
he^"  though  what  he  meant  by  it  was  never 
clearly  comprehended,  as  any  alteration  in  his 
curiously  squat  figure  must  have  been  an  im- 
provement. While  he  remained  in  perplexity 
and  in  the  rain,  the  latter  of  which  might  easily 
have  been  avoided,  another  message  arrived  from 
the  lady,  ordering  fresh  horses  to  be  procured, 
and  those,  with  the  chaise,  to  he  kept  in  readi- 


RATTLIN,    THE    KEEFKB.  5 

ness  to  start  at  a  momenf  s  waming;  More 
mystery  and  more  perplexity  !  In  &ct,  if  Aese 
oombined  causes  had  been  allowed  to  remain 
much  longer  in  <qperation,  the  worthy  landkid, 
instead  of  carrying  on  his  bosinesB  profitibly, 
would  have  been  carried  off  perempUnily,  by  a 
catarrh,  his  wife^s  nursing  and  a  doctor ;  but^ 
{(Htunately,  it  struck  one  of  the  post-boys  that 
rain  was  not  necessary  to  a  conTcrsation,  and 
sleet  but  a  bad  solvent  of  a  mystery;  so  the 
posse  adjourned  into  the  tap,  in  order  that  the 
subject  might  be  discussed  more  at  the  ease  of 
the  gentlemen  who  famcied  themselves  concerned 
in  it 

^  And  you  have  not  seen  her  hce  ?*  said 
mine  host  of  the  Cnmn. 

^  Shouldn't  know  her  firom  Adam's  grand- 
mother/' said  the  post-boy,  who  had  ridden  the 
wheel-horses.  **  Howsomedever  I  yeerd  her  sob 
and  moan  like  a  wheel  as  vants  grease." 

^  You  may  say  that,"  said  the  other  post- 
boy, a  little  shrivelled  old  man,  a  good  deal 
past  sixty ;  ^  we  lads  see  strange  soights.  I 
couldn't  a-bear  to  see  her  siffer  in  that  ere  man- 


0  BATTLIN,    THE    BXBFSR. 

ner— I  did  feel  for  her  almost  as  much  as  if 
ah^d  been  an  osb." 

The  landlord  gave  the  two  charioteers  force 
de  compUmena  for  the  tenderness  of  their  feel- 
ings, the  intensity  of  vfaic^  be  fully  compre- 
hended, as  he  changed  for  each  his  guinea,  the 
bounty  of  the  lady.  When  be  found  them  in 
jHvper  cue,  that  is  to  say,  in  the  middle  of  their 
second  glass  of  brandy-and-water,  he  proceeded 
in  bis  cross-examination,  and  he  learned  from 
tiiem,  that  they  had  been  engaged  to  wait  at  a 
certain  q>ot,  on  an  extensive  heath,  some  twelve 
miles  distant ;  that  they  had  hardly  waited  there 
an  hour  when  a  private  carriage,  containing  the 
lady  in  question  and  a  gentleman,  arrived ;  that 
the  lady,  closely  veiled,  had  been  transferred 
from  die  one  conveyance  to  the  other,  and  that 
the  post-boys  had  been  ordered  to  drive  with 
the  utmost  speed  to  the  destination  where  they 
now  found  themselves. 

This  account  seemed  to  satisfy  the  scruples 
of  (he  landlord,  which,  of  course,  were  by  no 
means  pecuniary,  but  merely  moral,  vi4ien  in 
bounced  the  fiery  visaged  landlady.     He  was 


forced  Id  flUnd  die  ahD  shot  ofbis 

man !  he  had  onhr  powder  to  replr  to  it, 

thai,  jiKt  nofr,  waa  iPofbDj  dampL 

*  Too  lazT,  loitering,  do-fitde;, 
m^  pEate-apaee  aol!    here'a  the  ladtr 
ahnobigljr  ilL      The  pfafBdan  haa  bee 
for,  and  hia  caiiiage  viU  be  ^  the  door  bdore 
joa  hkfw  that  ffl-lookm^  nose  of  jomu,  that 
bleaaed  ten  mwaiapdnwBta  are  itrtiiiig  to 
dofim — yoa  pahiy ah^ 

With  a  leijF  httle  Toictf  and  a 


joaaeen  thehi^s&ee^ 

^Faoe!  ia  it  &ee  3poa  want  ?  and  laifiei^fMea 
too — haf'n't  I  got  &ee  enon^  for  too — jaa 
apcdogj,Toar 

What  the  good  wunan  aaid  waa  indnbitabljr 
tine.  She  had  fMe  enon^  for  any  two  mode- 
ratdy-iisaged  wnea^  andenoogh  ofer  and  ahove 
to  bare  aop^ed  anj  one  who  nnght  ha:fe  loet  a 
portion  of  thein.  Howefer,  I  will  he  more 
polite  than  the  landlady,  and  aoqiiaint  the 
reader,  that  no  one  yet  of  die  eatabKafaBicnt  had 


6  SATTLIN,    THE    EEBFUB. 

seen  the  lady's  bee,  nor  was  it  intended  that  any 
one  should. 

As  this  squabble  was  growing  into  a  quarrel 
the  {^yaiciau  arrived;  he  had  not  been  long 
alone  with  the  unknown,  before  he  sent  for  a 
BUi^eon,  and  the  surgeon  for  a  nurse.  There 
was  BO  much  bustle,  alarm,  and  secrecy,  above- 
staiiB,  that  the  landlord  began  to  consider  which 
of  the  two  undertakers,  his  friends,  he  should 
&TOUT  with  the  anticipated  job,  and  rubbed  his 
.  bands  as  be  dwelt  on  the  idea  of  the  coroner's 
inquest,  and  the  attendant  dinner.  The  land- 
lady was  nearly  raving  mad  at  being  excluded 
from  what  she  supposed  was  the  bed  of  death. 
Hot  flannels  and  warm  water  were  now  eagerly 
called  for — and  these  demands  were  looked  upon 
as  a  sure  sign  that  dissolution  approached. 

The  stcure  approaching  the  lady's  chamber 
were  lined  with  master,  mistreBs,  man-servant, 
and  mtud-servante,  all  eagerly  listening  to  the 
awful  bustle  within.  At  length,  there  is  a  dead 
silence  of  some  minutes.  The  listeners  shud- 
dered. 


RATTLIK,   THE    R££FER« 


9 


^^  It  is  all  over  with  her  T  ejaculates  one 
tender-hearted  manceuverer  of  the  warming-pan, 
with  her  apron  in  the  comer  of  her  eye ;  "  Poor 
lady !  it  is  all  over  with  her  I** 

It  was  exactly  two  in  the  morning  of  the  2l8t 
that  a  shrill  cry  was  heard.  Shortly  after,  the 
door  was  flung  open  by  the  nurse,  and  a  new 
edition  of  an  emjbryo  reefer    appeared  in  her 

« 

arms,  and  very  manfully  did  the  play  of  his 
lungs  make  every  one  present  aware  that  some^ 
body  had  made  his  appearance.  The  supposed 
bed  of  death  turned  out  to  be  a  bed  of  life,  and 
another  being  was  bom  to  wail,  to  sin,  and  to 
die,  as  myriads  have  wsuled,  and  sinned,  and 
died  before  him. 


B  o 


d 


KATTLIN,    THR    BBEFIK. 


I  am  decidedly  an  incumbrance— Begin  life  with  half 
a  dozen  fruitless  jourae^rB— Find  a  home  and  a  fos- 
ter-rather— and  talk  learnedly  of  triangles  and 
Archbishops. 

What  is  to  be  done  with  the  child?  It  is  a 
fearful  question^  and  has  been  oftcD  asked  under 
every  degree  of  euffering.  Of  all  possible  ar- 
ticles, a  child  is  the  most  difficult  to  dispose 
of ;  a  wife  may  be  dispensed  with  without  much 
heart-breaking— even  a  Mend  and  rubbish  may 
be  shot  out  of  the  way,  and  the  bosom  remain 
tmnquil;  but  a  helpless,  new-bom  infant ! — O 
there  is  a  pleading  eloquence  in  its  feeble  wail 
that  goes  to  the  heart  and  ear  of  the  stranger — 


JULTTLISf   THE   XEEFEX.  H 

and  must  act  like  living  fire  in  the  bowels  of 
the  mother. 

The  whole  household  were  immediately  sent 
in  quest  of  a  wet-nurse.  At  length,  one  was 
found  in  the  very  pretty  wife  of  a  reprobate 
sawyer,  of  the  name  of  Brandon.  He  had  seen 
many  vicissitudes  of  life— had  been  a  soldier,  a 
gentleman's  servant,  had  been  to  sea,  and  was  a 
shrewd,  vicious,  and  hard  man,  with  a  most  un- 
quenchable passion  for  strong  beer,  and  a  steady 
addiction  to  skittles.  His  wife  was  a  little 
gentle  being,  of  an  extremely  compact  and  pre- 
possessing figure;  her  face  was  ruddy  with 
health,  and,  as  I  said  before,  extremely  pretty, 
and,  had  it  not  been  for  an  air  of  what  I  fear  I 
must  call  vulgarity,  for  want  of  a  more  gentle 
term,  she  would  have  merited  the  term  of  beau- 
tiful Brandon  was  a  top-sawyer,  but,  as  three 
out  of  the  six  working  days  of  the  week  he  was 
to  be  found  with  a  pot  of  porter  by  his  side, 
pipe  in  mouth,  and  the  skittle-ball  in  his  hand, 
it  is  not  surprising  that  there  was  much  misery 
b  his  home,  which  he  often  heightened  by  bis 
brutality.      Yet  was  he  a  very  pleasant  fellow 


12  BATTLIN,    THE    REEFEB. 

when  he  had  money  to  spend,  and  actually  a 
witty  as  well  as  a  jovial  dog  when  spending  it 
His  wife  had  not  long  given  birth  to  a  fine  girl, 
and  the  mother's  bosom  bled  over  the  destitution 
with  which  her  husband's  recklessness  had  now 
made  her  bo  long  familiar. 

All  this  time  your  humble  servant  was 
squalling,  and  none  were  found  who,  under  all 
the  strange  circumstances,  would  take  upon 
them  the  charge  of  an  in&mt,  about  to  be  forsa- 
ken immediately  by  its  mother.  At  length  one 
of  the  maid-servants  at  the  inn  remembered  to 
have  heard  Mrs.  Brandon  say,  that  rather  than 
live  on  among  all  her  squahdness  and  penury, 
she  would  endeavour  to  suckle  another  child 
besides  her  own ;  and,  as  she  was  then  in  redun- 
dant health,  and  had  two  fine  breasts  of  milk, — 
for  a  fine  breast  of  milk  would  not  then  have 
served  my  turn,  or  rather,  Mary  and  I  must 
have  taken  it  by  turns, — she  was  accordingly  sent 
for.  Yet,  when  she  understood  tliat  I  was  to 
be  placed  immediately  under  her  care,  that  no 
references  could  he  given,  and  no  address  left  in 
the  case  of  accident,  all   her  wishes  to  better 


BATTLIK,  THE    XSEFBJt.  13 

herself  and  babe  were  not  sufficiently  strong  to 
make  her  run  tbe  risk*     A  guinea  and  a-half  a- 
week  was  offered,  and  the  first  quarter  tendered 
in  adTance,  but  in  vain;  at  length,  an  additional 
ten  pound  note  gave  her  sufficient  courage,  and 
much  flannel  being  in  request,  I  was  thus  fitted 
out  before  I  was  three  hours  old,  to  leave  the 
roof    that    I    cannot    call   maternal,    and    be 
launched  to  struggle  with  the  world.     The  firan- 
tic  kiss  of  the  distracted  mother  was  impressed 
on  my  moaning  lips,  the  agonized  blesnng  was 
called  down  upon  me  fi*om  the  Grod  that  she 
then  thought  not  of  interceding  with  for  herself 
and  the  solemn  objurgation  give  to  my  foster- 
mother,  to  have  a  religious  and  motherly  caro  of 
me,  by  the  love  she  bore  her  own  child;  and 
then,  lest  the  distress  of  this  scene  should  be- 
come fatal  to  her  who  bore  me,  I  and  my  nurse 
were  hurried  away  before  the  day  of  my  birth 
had  fiilly  dawned. 

Tins  day  hi^pened  to  be  one  in  which  the 
top-sawyer  had  been  graciously  pleased  to  toss 
his  arms  up  and  down  over  the  pit — ^not  of 
destmction  but  of  preservation.    He  had  start- 


14  BATTUN,  THB  HEBFEB. 

ed  early,  and,  whilst  he  was  setting  the  teeth  on 
edge  of  all  within  hearing,  by  setting  an  edge  to 
his  saw,  some  very  officious  friend  ran  to  him 
to  tell  him,  how  that  his  wife  was  increasing 
his  family,  without  even  his  permission  having 
been  asked.  Instead,  therefore,  of  making  a 
dust  in  his  own  pit,  he  flung  down  his  file,  took 
up  his  lanthom,  and  hurried  along  to  kick  up  a 
dust  at  home.  The  brute !  may  he  have  to 
sharpen  saws  with  bad  filee  for  half  an  eternity  ! 
He  swore — how  awAdly  the  fellow  swore  ! — 
that  I  should  be  turned  from  his  inhospitable 
roof  immediately — and  my  gentle  nurse,  add- 
ing her  tears  to  my  squalls,  through  that 
dismal  sleety  morning,  that  was  then  break- 
ing mistily  upon  so  much  wretchedness,  was 
compelled  to  carry  me  back  to  my  mother. 

Tlie  most  impassioned  intreaties,  and  an  ad- 
ditional five  pounds,  at  length  prevailed  on  Mrs. 
Brandon  to  nestle  me  again  in  her  bosom,  and 
try  to  excite  the  sympathy  of  her  husband.  She 
returned  to  him,  but  the  fellow  had  now  taken 
to  himself  two  counsellors,  a  drunken  mate  that 
served    under  him   in   the  pit,   and   his   own 


SATTLnr,   THE   EEEJTXm.  15 

avarioe.  I  am  stating  mere  tmitB :  I  may  not 
be  beUeved — I  cannot  help  it — but  three  times 
was  I  carried  backwards  and  forwards,  and 
every  transit  producing  to  the  sawyer  five  extra 
pomida,  when,  at  length,  my  little  head  found  a 
resting-place.  All  these  events  I  have  had  over 
and  over  again  firom  my  nurse^  and  they  are 
most  faithfully  recorded. 

Before  noon  on  that  memorable  morning 
the  chaise^and-four  were  again  at  the  door,  and 
the  veiled  and  shawl-enveloped  lady  was  lifted 
in,  and  the  vehicle  dashed. rapidly  through  the 
streets  of  Reading,  in  a  northerly  direction^  I 
pretend  not  to  relate  facts  of  which  I  have 
never  had  an  assured  knowledge;  I  cannot 
state  to  where  that  chaise  and  its  desolate  oc- 
cupant proceeded,  nor  can  I  give  a  moving 
description  of  feelings  that  I  did  not  witness. 
When  I  afterwards  knew  that  that  lady  was 
my  mother,  I  never  dared  question  her  upon 
these  points,  but,  from  the  strength,  the  inten- 
sity of  every  good  and  afiTectionate  feeling  that 
marked  her  character,  I  can  only  conceive, 
that  if  that  joiumey  was  made  in  the  stupor 


16  BATTLIN,    THE    EEEFER. 

of  weakness  and  exhaustion,  or  even  in  the 
wanderings  of  delirium,  it  must  have  been,  to 
her,  a  dispensation  of  infinite  mercy. 

She  deserted  her  new-bom  infant — she  flung 
forth  her  child  from  the  warmth  of  her  own 
bosom  to  the  cold,  hireling  kindness  of  the 
stranger.  I  think  I  hear  some  puritanical, 
world-observing,  starched  piece  of  female  rigi- 
dity exclaim,  ^^And  therein  she  did  a  great 
wickedness."  The  fact  I  admit,  but  the 
wickedness  I  deny  utterly.  Proudly  do  I 
range  myself  by  the  side  of  my  much-injured 
parent,  and  tell  the  strait-laced  that  there 
was  more  courage,  more  love,  more  piety,  in 
that  heroic  act,  than  in  the  feeling  and  re- 
spectable  fondness  of  a  thousand  mothers,  whose 
sole  recommendation  is  a  correctness  of  con- 
duct, correct  because  untried,  and  whose  ut- 
most pleasure  is  sneering  at  sacrifices  that  they 
never  could  have  made,  and  mocking  at  a  he- 
roism they  cannot  comprehend. 

That  there  were  misery  and  much  sufiering 
inflicted,  I  do  not  deny ;  but  of  all  guilt,  even 
of  all  blame,  I  eagerly  acquit  one,  whose  prin- 


mATTLIN,   THX   BEXFEE.  17 

ciples  of  action  were  as  purei  and  the  whole 
tenor  of  whose  Ii£e  was  as  upright^  as  even 
Virtue  herself  oould  have  dictated.  Let  the 
guilt  and  the  misery  attendant  upon  this  dfr> 
sertion  of  myself  be  attached  to  the  real  sin- 
ners ;  may  Aey  lie  as  a  burthen  on  ibar  bo- 
soms^ when  diey  would  rise  to  plead  at  the  last 
tribunal ;  and  may  their  deeds  oover  their  faces 
with  the  burning  blush  of  shame,  at  that  hour 
y^hea  the  world's  worshippCT  shall  not  dare  to 
countenance  the  meanness  and  the  yillanies  of 
the  worldly  great,  and  when  man's  actions  shall 
be  weighed  in  the  balance  of  an  Omniscient 
justice. 

I  have  before  said  that  Brandon  was  a  tap 
sawyer.  We  must  now  call  him  Mr.  Brandon 
— he  has  purchased  a  pair  of  top  boots,  a  swell 
top  coat,  and  though  now  frequentiy  top  heavy, 
thinks  himself  altogether  a  /Sopping  gentionan. 
He  is  now  to  be  seen  more  firequentiy  in  the 
gluttie-ground,  grasping  a  half-gallon,  instead 
of  a  quart  of  beer.  He  decides  authoritatively 
upon  foul  and  fair  play,  and  his  voice  is  poten- 
tial on  almost  all  matters  in  debate  at  the  Two 


18  BATTLIN,    THE    BEEFER. 

Jolly  Sawyers,  near  Lambeth  Walk,  just  at  the 
top  of  Cut-throat  Lane. 

All  this  is  now  altered.  We  look  in  vdn 
for  the  Two  Jolly  Sawyers.  We  may  ask, 
where  are  they?  and  not  Echo,  but  the  Arch- 
bishop of  Canterbury,  must  answer  where — for 
he  has  most  sacerdotally  put  down  all  the  jol- 
lity there,  by  pulling  down  the  house,  and  has 
built  up  a  large  whar^  where  once  stood  a  very 
pretty  tree-besprinkled  walk,  leading  to  the 
said  Jolly  Sawyers.  Cut-throat  Lane  is  no 
more ;  yet,  though*  it  bore  a  villainous  name,  it 
was  very  pretty  to  walk  through ;  and  its  many 
turnstiles  were  as  so  many  godsends  to  the 
little  boys,  as  they  enjoyed  on  them,  gratis,  some 
blithe  rides  that  they  would  have  had  to  pay 
for  at  any  fair  in  the  kingdom.  We  can  very 
well  understand  why  the  turnstiles  were  so  of- 
fensive to  the  dignitary ;  in  tsct,  all  this  build- 
ing, and  leasing  of  houses,  and  improvement 
of  property,  and  destroying  of  poor  people's 
pleasant  walks,  is  nothing  more  than,  an  im- 
proved reading  of  the  words,  ^^  benefit  of  clergy*' 
Still,  we  cannot  help  regretting  the  turnstiles : 


SATTLIW,   THB   XEEFXS. 


19 


and  sorry  are  we  for  their  Bakes,  and  for  oars, 
that  their  versatility  should  be  looked  upon  as 
an  ever-reTolYiiig  libel,  which  thus  caused  their 
untimely  destructioiL 


30 


SAttXlK,   THE    REEFER. 


CHAPTER  III. 

My  foster-father  forsakes  the  right  line  of  conduct 
chalked  out  for  him— I  grow  ill — Find  Pot-luck  and 
Baptism— Go  to  Bath^  and  take  my  first  lessons  in 
the  arts  of  Persuasion. 


When  I  was  placed  with  the  Brandons,  it 
was  stipulated  that  they  should  remove  imme- 
diately from  Reading;  and,  whilst  I  was  in 
their  family,  they  should  return  there  no  more. 
For  this  purpose  the  necessary  expenses  were 
forwarded  to  them  by  an  unknown  hand.  To 
Lambeth  they  therefore  removed,  because  it 
abounded  in  saw-pits;  but  this  advantage  was 
more  than  destroyed  by  its  abundance  of  skittle- 
grounds.     Mr.  Joseph   Brandon   had  satisfied 


KATTLiy,    THE    BEEFJKB.  21 

his  conscience  by  coming  into  the  neighbour- 
hood of  the  said  saw-pits:   it  showed  a  direc- 
tion towards  the  paths  of  industry;  but,  whilst 
he  had,  through  his  wife  for  nursing  me,  61/. 
188.  per  annum,  he  always  preferred  knockiug 
down,  or  seeing  knocked  down,  the  nine  pins, 
to  the  being  placed  upon  a  narrow  plank,  toeing 
a  chalked  line.    This  was  not  a  line  of  conduct 
that  he  actually  chalked  out  for  himself;  only 
it  so  happened,  that,  when  he  was  settled  at 
Lambeth,  on  the  third  day  he  went  out  to  look 
after  work,   and  going   down  Stangate-street> 
he  turned  up  Cut-throat  Lane^  and,  after  pass- 
ing all  the  turnstiles,  he  arriTed  at  the  Two 
Jolly   Sawyers,  himself  making  a  third.      In 
his  seardi  for  employment  he  found  it  impos- 
sible, for  the  space  of  a  whole  month,  to  get 
soy  ferther. 

But  he  was  not  long  permitted  to  be  the 
ascendant  spirit  among  the  top  and  bottom 
men.  Whether  it  be  that  Mrs.  Brandon  over- 
rated her  powers  of  affording  sustenance,  or 
that  I  had  suffered  through  the  inclemency  of 
the  weather  in  my  three  journeys  on  my  natal 


22  BATTLIN,    THE   B£EF£B« 

dajT)  or  whether  that  I  was  naturally  delicate, 
or  perhaps  all  these  cases  contributing  to  it,  I 
fell  into  a  very  sickly  state,  and  before  a  third 
month  had  elapsed,  I  was  forced  to  another 
migration. . 

Though  no  one  appeared,  both  myself  and 
Mrs.  Brandon  were  continually  watched,  and  a 
very  superior  sort  of  surgeon  in  the  neighbour- 
hood of  Lambeth,  from  the  second  day  of  my 
arrival  there,  found  some  pretence  or  another 
to  get  introduced  to  my  nurse,  and  took  a 
violent  liking  to  the  little,  puny,  wailing  piece 
of  mortality,  mysell  I  was  about  this  time  so 
exceedingly  small,  that  at  the  risk  of  being 
puerile,  I  cannot  help  recording,  that  Joseph 
Brandon  immersed  me,  all  excepting  my  head, 
in  a  quart  pot  No  one  but  a  Joe  Brandon, 
or  a  top  sawyer,  could  have  had  so  filthy  an 
idea.  I  have  never  been  told  whether  the  pot 
contained  any  drainings,  but  I  must  attribute  to 
this  ill-advised  act,  a  most  plebeian  fondness  that 
I  have  for  strong  beer,  and  which  seems  to  be, 
even  in  these  days  of  French  manners  and  French 
wines,  unconquerable. 


EATTLIK,   THE   SESFEl*  33 

My  health  now  became  so  precarioiu^  that 
a  letter  amyed,  signed  simply,  K  R^  ordering 
that  I   should  be   immediately   baptized,  ami 
five  pounds  were  enclosed  for   the  expenses. 
The  letter  stated  that  two  decent  persons  should 
be  found  by  ]Mbrs.  Bramion  to  be  my  sponsors, 
and  that  a  female  would  appear  on  sudi  a  day, 
at  such  an  hour,  at  Lambeth  Churdi,  to  act 
as  my  godmother.    That  I  was  to  be  chris- 
tened Ralph  Rattlin,  and,  if  I  surviyed,  I  was 
to  pass  for  their  own  child  till  fiurdier  orders, 
and  Ralph  Rattlin  Braixion  were  to  be   my 
usual  appellations.    Two  decent  persons  being 
required,  Joe   Brandon,  not  haying  done  any 
work  for  a  couple  of  months,  thought,  by  yir- 
tue  of  idleness,  he  might  surely  call  himself 
on^  to  say   nothing  of  his  top-boots.     The 
other  god&ther  was  a  decayed  fishmonger,  of 
the  name  of  Ford,  a  pensioner   in  the  Fish- 
monger's Company,  in  whose  alms-houses  at 
Newington,  he  afterwards  died.    A  sad  repro- 
bate was  old  Ford — he   was  wicked  firom  na- 
ture, drunken  from  habit,  and  fiill  of  repent- 
ance  from  methodism.      Thus  his   time  was 


S4  BATTLIN,    THE    REEFER. 

veiy  equally  divided  between  sin,  drink,  and 
oontrition.  Hie  sleep  was  all  sin,  for  he  would 
keep  the  bouse  awake  all  night  blaspheming, 
in  his  unhealthy  slumbers.  As  I  was  taken 
to  church  in  a  hackney-coach,  my  very  ho- 
noured godfather,  Ford,  remarked,  that  <<it 
would  be  a  very  pleasant  thing  to  get  me  into 
hell  before  him,  as  he  was  sure  that  I  was 
bom  to  sin,  a  child  of  wrath  and  an  inheritor 
of  the  kingdom  of  the  deviL*^  This  bitter  re- 
mark roused  the  passions  even  of  my  gentle 
nurse,  and  she  actually  scored  down  both  sides 
of  his  &ee  with  her  nails,  in  such  a  manner 
as  to  leave  deep  scars  in  his  ugliness,  that 
nine  years  after  he  carried  to  his  grave.  All 
this  happened  in  the  coach  in  our  way  to 
church.  Ford  had  already  prepared  himself 
for  the  performance  of  his  spons<»rial  duties,, 
by  getting  half  drunk  upon  his  feivourite  beve^ 
rage,  gin,  and  it  was  now  necessary  to  make 
him  wholly  intoxicated  to  induce  him  to  go 
through  the  ceremony.  As  yet,  my  nurse 
had  never  properly  seen  my  mother's  fiace ;  at 
the  interview,  on  my  birth,  the  agitation  of 


RATTLIK,    THE    RKBFBB.  S5 

both  parties,  and  the  darkened  room,  though 
Aere  was  no  attempt  at  concealment,  prevented 
Mrs.  Brandon  from  noticing  her  sufficiently 
to  know  her  again ;  when,  therefore,  as  our 
party  alighted  at  the  gate  of  the  churchyard, 
and  a  lady  deeply  veiled,  got  out  of  a  carriage 
at  some  distance,  Mrs.  Brandon  knew  not  if 
the  had  ever  seen  her  before. 

I  have  been  very  unfortunate  in  religious 
ceremonies.  Old  Ford  was  a  horrid  spectacle, 
his  &ce  st)reaming  with  blood,  violently  drunk, 
and  led  by  Brandon,  who  certainly  was,  on 
that  occasion,  both  decent  in  appearance  and 
behaviour.  The  strange  lady  hurried  up  to 
the  font  before  us.  When  the  clergyman  saw 
the  state  in  which  Ford  was,  he  refused  to  pro- 
ceed in  the  ceremony.  The  sexton  then  an- 
swered for  him,  whilst  he  was  led  out  of  the 
church.  The  office  went  on,  and  the  lady 
seemed  studiously  to  avoid  looking  upon  her 
intended  godson;  I  was  christened  simply, 
RaljA  Rattlin.  The  lady  wrote  her  name  in 
the  book  the  last,  and  it  was  instantly  removed 
by  the  clerk.      She  thrust  a  guinea  into  his 

VOL.  I.  c 


26  KATTLIII,    THE    SZEFEK. 

hand,  and  then,  for  the  first  time,  bent  her 
veiled  iace  over  me.  I  most  have  been  a  mise- 
rable  looking  object,  for  no  sooner  bad  she  seen 
me,  than  she  gave  a  bitter  shriek,  and  laying 
hold  of  the  woodwork  of  the  pews,  she  slowly 
assisted  herself  out  of  the  church.  Two  or 
three  persons  who  happened  to  be  present,  as 
well  as  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Brandon,  stepped  forward 
to  support  her,  but  the  clergyman,  who  seined 
to  have  bad  a  previous  conversation  with  her, 
ugned  them  to  desist  It  was  altogether  a 
.most  melaocholy  a%ir.  Old  Ford,  when  we 
left  the  church,  was  helped  into  the  coach 
again,  and  Joe  Brandon,  being  either  justly 
irritated  at  bis  conduct,  or  angry  that  he  could, 
not  see  my  unknown  godmother's  face,  when  we 
were  all  ^rly  on  our  way  home,  gave  the  old 
sot  such  a  tremendous  beating,  that  Mrs.  Bran- 
don nearly  went  into  fits  with  alarm,  and  Ford 
himself  was  confined  to  his  bed  for  a  week 
after.  Vfhea  I  reflect  upon  the  manner  in 
which  I  wab  christened,  though  I  cannot  exactly 
call  it  "  a  mtumed  rite,"  I  have  a  great  mind  to 
have  it  done  over  again,  only  I  am  deterred  by 
the  expense. 


All  now  was  bnetle  in  remoTiDg  from  Felix. 
Sireet,  Lambetli»  to  Batli»  where  it  was  ordeied 
that  I  sbookl  be  dipped  ereiy  momiiig  in  acme 
spring  that,  at  that  time^  had  much  oelebritj. 
Old  Ford  wae  left  behind  At  Bath  I  ranained 
three  years,  Joe  Brandon  doing  no  work,  and 
persuading  himself  now,  that  he  actually  waa 
a  gentleman.  In  my  third  year,  my  foster- 
sister,  little  robust,  ruddy  Mary,  died,  and 
the  weakly,  stunted,  and  drooping  sapling  lived 
GIL  This  death  endeared  me  more  and  more 
to  my  nurse,  and  Joe  himself  was,  by  self-inte- 
rest, taught  an  affection  for  me.  He  knew 
that  if  I  went  to  the  grave,  he  must  go  to 
work;  and  he  now  used  to  perform  the  office 
himself  of  the  dry-nurse  to  me,  taking  me  to 
tfie  spring  and  allowing  no  one  to  dip  me  but 
himsel£  When  I  grew  older,  he  had  many 
stories  to  tell  me  about  my  pan  tings,  and  my 
implorings,  and  my  oflfers  of  unnumbered  kisses, 
and  of  all  my  playthings,  if  he  would  not  pot 
me  in  that  cold  water— -only  this  one,  one 
monuBg.  And  about  a  certain  Dr.  Buck,  who 
had  taken  a  wonderful  liking  to  me^  after  the 

c2 


86  PA^TDV,    THK    REEfKR, 

mftnner  of  the  Lambeth  surgeon,  and  had  pre- 
acribed  for  me,  and  sent  me  physic,  and  port 
wine,  all  out  of  pure  philanthropy^  and  how 
much  I  hated  this  same  Dr.  Buck,  and  hie 
horrible  "  give  him  f  other  dip,  Brandon."  But 
all  these  are  as  things  that  had  long  died  from 
my  own  recollection. 


BATTtlS  THE    ftBRVK. 


39 


CHAPTER  IV. 

My  proximity  to  the  clergy  impels  me  to  preach — 
adTOcate  the  rulgar ;    and  proTe  that   neither  the 
humble  nor  the  low  are  necessarily  the  debased — 
consequently,  this  chapter  need  not  be  read. 


What  with  dipping,  port  wine,  bark,  and  Dr. 
Buck,  at  the  age  of  four  years  my  limbs  b^an 
to  expand  properly,  and  my  countenance  to 
assume  the  hue  of  health.  I  have  recorded  the 
death  of  my  foster-sister  Mary;  but  about 
this  time,  the  top-sawyer,  wishing  to  perpe- 
tuate the  dynasty  of  the  Brandons,  began  to 
enact  paterfamilias  in  a  most  reckless  manner. 
He  was  wrong ;  but  ttus  must  be  said  in  exte- 
nuation of  his  impiously  acting  upon  the  divine 


'80  BATTLIN,    TUB    KEEFEB. 

cdmTnand,  "  to  increase  and  multiply,"  that  at 
that  thne,  Mr.  MalthuB  had  not  corrected  the 
mistake  of  the  Omniscient,  nor  had  Misa  Har- 
riet Maxtineau  begun  her  pilgrimage  after 
"  the  preventive  check."  There  was  no  longer 
any  pretence  for  my  remiuning  at  Bath,  or  for 
faiy  worthy  fo6ter-father  ahstiuning  from  work  ; 
BO  we  again  removed,  with  a  small  &imily,  in 
our  search  after  sawpits  and  happiness,  to  one 
of  the  hest  houses  in  Felix  Street^  somewhere 

'  near  LambeUi  Marsh.  This  place,  after  the 
experience  of  some  time,  proving  not  to  be 
sufficiently  blissful,  we  removed  to  Paradise 
Row,  some  furlongs  nearer  the  Father  in  God 
His  Grace  the  Arehbishop  of  Canterbury.  I 
have  a  laudable  pride  in  showing  that  I  had  a 
respectable — I  beg  pardon,  the  word  is  inap- 
plicable— I  mean  a  grand  neighbour.     "I  am 

'  not  the  rose,"  stud  the  flower  in  the  Persian 
poem,  "  but  I  have  lived  near  the  rose."  I 
did  not  bloom  in  the  archbishop's  garden,  but  I 
flourished  under  the  wall,  though  on  the  ont- 
side.  The  wall  is  now  down,  and  rows  of 
houses  np  in  its  place.     I  had  a  great  ineUna- 


RATTUN,   THE   REEF£|U  91 

tion  to  be  discursiYe  on  the  mutability  of  hu- 
man affidrS)  when  I  had  finished  the  last  sen- 
tence; but  I  have  changed  my  mind,  which  is 
a  practical  commentary  upon  them,  and  will 
save  me  the  trouble  of  writing  one. 

In  our  location  in  Paradise  Row,  the  house 
being  larger  than  we  required  for  our  accom- 
modation, we  again  received  old  Ford,  the  only 
paradise,  I  am  rather  afraid,  that  will  e?er  own 
him  as  an  inmate.  An  awfiil  man  was  old 
Ford,  my  godjEeither.  His  mingled  prayers  and 
blasphemies,  hymns  and  horrid  songs^  de- 
fiance and  remorse,  groans  and  laughter,  made 
every  one  hate  and  avoid  him.  Hell-fire,  as  he 
continually  asserted,  was  ever  roaring  before 
his  eyes;  and  as  there  is  a  text  in  the  New 
Testament  that  says,  there  is  no  salvation  for 
him  who  curses  the  Holy  Ghost,  be  would, 
in  the  finenzy  of  his  despair,  swear  at  that  mys- 
terious portion  of  the  Trinity  by  the  hour,  and 
tiien  employ  the  next  in  beating  his  breast  in 
the  agony  of  repentance.  Many  may  think 
ail  this  sheer  madness ;  but  he  was  not  more 
mad  than  most  of  the  hot-headed  Methodists, 


92  KATtLIK,    TtfE    AEEFEfR; 

irfaose  pfreiushers,  at  that  tune^  held  Uticonti^ed 
sway  over  the  great  mass  of  people  that  toiled 
in  the  humbler  walks  of  life.  Two  nights  iik 
the  week  we  used  to  have  prayer-meetings  at 
our  house ;  and,  though  I  could  not  have  been 
five  years  old  at  the  time,  vividly  do  I  remem^ 
her  that  our  front  room  used,  on  those  occa- 
sions, to  be  filled  to  overflow  with  kneeling 
&natics,  old  Ford  in  the  centre  of  the  rooln, 
and  a  couple  of  lank-haired  hypocrites,  one  on 
^raeh  side  of  the  reprobate,  praying  till  the 
|)er8piration  streamed  down  their  foreheads,  to 
pnly  the  devil  out  of  him.  The  ohs  !  and  the 
gfoanings  of  the  audience  were  terrible;  and 
the  whole  scene,  though  very  edifying  to  the 
elect,  was  disgraceful  to  any  set  who  lived 
within  the  pale  of  civilization. 

I  must  now  draw  upon  my  own  memory.  I 
must  describe  my  own  sensations.  If  I  reckon 
by  the  toil  and  the  turmoil  of  the  mind,  I  am 
already  an  old  man.  I  have  lived  for  ages.  I 
am  far,  very  far  on  my  voyage.  Let  me  cast 
my  eyes  back  on  the  vast  sea  that  I  have  tra* 
versed;  there  is  a  mist  settled  over  it,  almost 


««  impenetmble  as  that  which  giooiBs  before 
me.  LQt  me  pause.  Methinks  that  I  see  it 
padnaUy  break,  and  partial  sunbeams  stru^W 
through  it.  Now  the  distant  waves  rise»  and 
wautoQ,  and  play,  pure  and  lucid,  lis  the 
dijf-spring  of  innooency.  How  near  to  the  sano* 
tified  heavens  do  those  remote  waves  appear  1 
They  meet,  and  are  as  one  with  die  far  boriaon. 
Those  sparkling  waves  were  the  hours  of  my 
ehildhood — the  blissful  feelings  of  my  in&ncy* 
As  the  sea  oi  life  rolls  on,  the  waves  swell  and 
are  turbid ;  and,  as  I  recede  from  the  horizon 
of  my  early  recollections,  so  heaven  recedes 
from  me.  The  thunder-doud  is  high  above 
my  head,  the  treacherous  waters  roar  beneath 
me,  before  me  is  the  dariuiess  and  the  night  of 
an  unknown  futurity.  Where  can  I  now  turn 
ny  eyes  for  solace,  but  over  the  vast  space  that 
I  have  passed  f  Whilst  my  bark  glides  heed- 
lessly forward,  I  will  ^  not  anticipate  dangers 
that  I  cannot  see,  or  tremble  at  rocks  that  are 
benevolently  hidden  firom  my  view.  It  is  suf- 
ficient for  me  to  know  that  I  must  be  wrecked 
X  last:    that  my  nu»rtal  frame  must  be  like 

c  5 


84  KATTLIN,    tHE    REEFER. 

a  shattered  bark  upon  the  beach  ere  the  purer 
elements  that  it  contains  can  be  wafted  through 
the  immensity  of  immortality.  I  will  com- 
mune with  my  boyish  days — I  will  live  in  the 
past  only.  Memory  shall  perform  the  Medean 
process,  shall  renovate  me  to  youth.  I  will 
agsdn  return  to  marbles  and  an  untroubled 
breast — to  hoop  and  high  spirits — at  least,  in 
imagination. 

I  shall  henceforward  trust  to  my  own  recollec- 
tions. Should  this  part' of  my  story  seem  more 
like  a  chronicle  of  sensations  than  a  series  of 
events,  the  reader  must  bear  in  mind  that  these 
sensations  are,  in  early  youth,  real  events,  the 
parents  of  actions,  and  the  directors  of  destiny. 
The  circle  in  which,  in  boyhood,  one  may  be 
compelled  to  move,  may  be  esteemed  low ; 
the  accidents  all  around  him  may  be  homely, 
the  persons  with  whom  he  may  be  obliged  to 
come  in  contact  may  be  mean  in  apparel,  and 
sordid  in  nature ;  but  his  mind,  if  it  remain  to 
him  pure  as  he  received  it  from  his  Maker,  is 
an  unsullied  gem  of  inestimable  price,  too 
seldom  found,  and  too  little  appreciated  when 


AATTiay,    TfiE    ftSEFES.  ^ 

fimod,  4numg  the  grea^  or  the  fortuitoosly 
ri<du  Nothii^  thai  is  abstnustedly  mental  13 
low.  The  mind  thai  well  describes  low  sceneiy 
is  not  low,  nor  b  the  description  itself  neces- 
sarily so,  Pride^  and  a  contempt  for  our 
fellow  creatures,  erince  a  low  tone  of  moral 
feetin^  and  is  the  innate  vulgarity  of  the  soul : 
it  is  this  which  but  too  oftai  makes  those  ^ho 
rustle  in  silks,  and  roll  in  carriages,  lower  than 
the  lowest, 

I  have  84ud  this  much,  because  the  early,  very 
early  part  of  my  life  was  passed  among  what 
wee  reproachfully  termed  "  low  people."  If 
I  describe  them  faithfully,  they  must  still  ap- 
pear low  to  those  who  arrogate  to  themselves 
die  epithet  of  *^  high.''  For  myself  I  bo^d 
that  there  is  nothing  low  under  the  sun,  except 
meanness.  Where  there  is  utility,  there  ought 
to  be  honour.  The  utility  of  the  humble 
artisan  has  never  been  denied,  though  too  often 
despised,  and  too  rarely  honoured ;  but  I  have 
found  among  the  ^  vulgar''  a  horror  of  mean- 
ness, a  self-devotion,  an  unshrinking  pati^M^ 
under  privation,  and  the  moral  courage,  that 


M 


39  RJLTTLIN,    TUR   BEEFEA. 

oonstitute  the  hero  of  high  life.  I  can  also  tell 
the  admirers  of  the  great,  that  the  evil  passions 
of  the  vulgar  are  as  gigantic,  their  wickedness 
upon  as  grand  a  scale,  and  their  notions  of  vice 
as  refined,  and  as  extensive,  as  those  of  any 
fashionable  roue  that  is  courted  among  the  first 
circles,  or  even  as  those  of  the  crowned  despot* 
Then,  as  to  the  strength  of  vulgar  intellect. — 
True^  that  intellect  is  rarely  cultivated  by  the 
learning  which  consists  of  words*  The  view 
it  takes  of  science  is  but  a  partial  glance — that 
intellect  is  contracted,  but  it  is  strong.  It  is 
a  dwarf,  with  the  muscle  and  sinews  of  a  giant ; 
and  its  grasp,  whenever  it  can  lay  hold  of  any 
thing  within  its  circumscribed  reach,  is  tre- 
mendous. The  general  who  has  conquered 
armies  and  subjugated  countries — the  minister 
who  has  ruined  them,'  and  the  jurist  who  has 
justified  both,  never  at  the  crisis  of  their  labours 
have  displayed  a  tithe  of  the  ingenuity  and  the 
resources  of  mind  that  many  an  artisan  is  forced 
to  exert  to  provide  daily  bread  for  himself  and 
family ;  or  many  a  shopkeeper  to  keep  his  con- 
nexion together,  and  himself  out  of  the  work- 


BATTLiif,  nUb  Ji£E^EiU 


m 


hdtfBes.'  Why  should  the  exeitiobs  iSl  intellect 
be  termBd  low,  in  the  case  of  the  mechanic,  and 
nut,  {irofound,  and  glorious,  in  that  of  the 
numster?  It  is  the  same  precious  gift  of  a 
beneficent  power  to  all  his  creatures.  As  well 
may  the  sun  be  voted  as  excessively  vulgar, 
because  it,  like  intellect,  assists  aU  equally  to 
perform  their  functions.  I  repeat,  that  nothing 
that  has  mind  is,  of  necessity,  low,  and  nothing 
is  vulgar  but  meanness. 


38 


H  ATT  LIN,    THE    REEFER. 


CHAPTER  V. 


I  receive  my  first  lessons  in  pugnacity^and  imbibe 
'   the  evil  spirit — Learn  to  read  by  intuition^  and  to 

fight  by  practice— Go  to  school  to  a  soldier— Am 

a  good  boy,  and  get  whipped. 


At  six  years  of  age  my  health  had  become 
firmly  established,  but  this  establishment  caused 
dismay  in  that  of  Joe  Brandon.  As  I  was  no 
longer  the  sickly  infant  that  called  for  incessant 
attention  and  the  most  careful  nurtiure,  it  was 
intimated  to  my  foster-parents,  that  a  consider- 
able reduction  would  be  made  in  the  quarterly 
allowance  paid  on  my  account  The  indignation 
of  Brandon  was  excessive.  He  looked  upon 
himself  as  one  grievously  wronged.     No  sine- 


R ATTi:.ia:,  the  xesfbb.  99 

curist,  with  his  pension  recently  reduced,  could 
have  been  more  vehement  on  the  subject  of  the 
sanctity  of  vested  rights*  But  his  ire  was  not 
to  be  vented  in  idle  declamation  only.  He  was 
not  a  man  to  rest  content  with  mere  words :  he 
declaimed  for  a  fiill  hour  upon  his  wife's  folly 
in  procuring  him  the  means  of  well-fed  idleness 
so  long,  threatened  to  take  the  brat — ^meaning 
no  less  a  personage  than  myself — to  the  work- 
house :  and  then  he  wound  up  affairs,  in  doors, 
by  beating  his  wife,  and  himself  out  of  doors, 
by  getting  royally  drimk. 

This  was  the  first  scene  that  made  a  deep  im- 
pression upon  me.  Young  as  I  was,  I  compre- 
hended that  I  was  the  cause  of  the  ill-treatment 
of  my  nurse,  whom  I  fondly  loved*  I  interfered 
— I  placed  my  little  body  between  her  and  her 
brutal  oppressor.  I  scratched,  I  kicked,  I  scream- 
ed— I  grew  mad  with  passion.  At  that  hour, 
the  spirit  of  evil  and  of  hate  blew  the  dark  coal  in 
my  heart  into  a  flame;  and  the  demon  of  violent 
anger  has  ever  since  found  it  too  easy  to  erect 
there  his  altar,  of  which  the  fire,  though  at  the 
time  all-consuming,  is  never  diur^le.    From  that 


40.  R^yTLIN>   THK    ll^EJBR. 

mpment  I  commenced  my  intollectuajl  i^^teqc^.t 
I  looked  on  the  sobbing  mother,  and  joi^w^wba^, 
it  was  to  love,  and  my  love  found  its  ei^jpreasioii. 
in  an  agony  of  tears.     I  looked  on  the  tyrant^ , 
I  felt  what  it  was  to  hate,  and  endeavoured  to 
relieve  the  burning  desire  to  punish  with  franjtic 
actions  and  wild  outcries.     Old  Ford,  who  had 
been  present  and  enjoyed  the  J'racasy  imme- 
diately took  me  into  his   especial   favour;   hQ, 
declared  that  I  was  after  his  own  heart,  for  I. 
had  the  devil  in  me  — said  that  I  had  the  right 
spirit  to  bring  me  to  the  gallows,  and  he  hoped, 
old  as  he  was,  to  live  to  see  it :  he  then  entreated 
of  the  Lord   that  my  precious  soul  might  be 
saved  as  a  burning  brand  out  of  the  fire — took 
me  by  the  hand  and  led  me  to  the  next  gin-shop 
— made  me  taste  the  nauseating  poison — told 
me  I  was  a  little  man,  and  it  was  glorious  to 
fight —doubled  up  for  me  my  puny  fists,  and. 
asserted   that   cowards    only   suffered   a   blow 
without  returning  it     A  lesson  like  this  never 
can  be  forgotten.     I  ground  my  teeth  whilst  I 
was  ,  receiving  it — I   clenched  my  hands,   and 
looked  wildly  round  for  something  to  destroy. 


I  wiii1n'6rJBLitiliiglE^^  become  a  little  tiger.  From' 
what  I'theti  etperienced,  I  can  easily  conceive 
the  feefings  that  actuate,  and  can  half  forgive 
the  crowtied  monsters  who  have  revelled  in 
blood,  and  relished  the  inflicting  of  torture; 
as  pandering  to  their  worst  passions  in  infiemcy 
resolves  them  into  a  terrible  instrument  of 
cruelfy,  the  control  of  which  rests  not  with 
themselves.  But  this  lesson  in  tiger  ferocity 
had  its  emollieht,  though  not  its  antidote,  in  the 
tenderness  of  the  love  which  I  bore  my  nurse, 
when,  on  my  return,  I  flung  myself  into  her 
arms.  Ever  since  that  day  I  have  been  subject 
to  terrific  fits  of  passion ;  but  very  happily  for 
me,  they  have  long  ceased  to  be  but  of  very  rare 
occurrence. 

The  next  morning.  Master  Joseph  came  home 
ill,  and  if  not  humbled,  at  least  almost  helpless. 
He  had  now  three  children  of  his  own,  and  the 
necessity  of  eschewing  skittles,  and  presiding 
over  the  sawpit,  became  urgent.  With  all  his 
vices  and  his  roughness,  he  was  surprisingly 
fond  of  me.  He,  too,  applauded  my  spirit  in 
attacking  himself     He  now  rejoiced  to  take  me 


42  BATTLIK,    THE    EEEFEE. 

to  the  gawpit,  to  allow  me  to  play  about  the 
timber-yards,  and  share  with  him  his  al  fresco 
mid-day  meal  and  pot  of  porter.  I  always 
passed  for  his  eldest  son,  my  name  being  told 
to  the  neighbours  as  Ralph  Rattlin  Brandon. 
I  knew  no  otherwise,  and  my  foster-parents 
kept  the  secret  religiously.  At  seven  I  began 
to  fight  with  dirty  little  urchins  in  the  street, 
who  felt  much  scandalized  at  the  goodness  of 
my  clothes.  It  is  hard  work  fighting  up-hill 
at  seven  years  of  age.  Old  Ford  would  wipe 
the  blood  from  my  nose,  and  clap  the  vinegar 
and  brown  paper  on  my  bruises  with  words  of 
sweet  encouragement ;  though  he  always  ended 
by  predicting  that  his  hopeful  godson  would  be 
hung,  and  that  he  should  live  to  see  it  I  have 
certainly  not  been  drowned  yet,  though  I  have 
had  my  escapes,  and  old  Ford  has  been  dead 
these  thirty  years.  As  one  part  of  the  prophecy 
will  certainly  never  be  fulfilled,  I  have  some 
fiaint  hopes  of  avoiding  the  exaltation  hinted 
at  in  the  other. 

About  this  time,   I  began  to  notice  that  a 
lady,  at  long  intervals,  came  to  see  me.     She 


BATTLIN,   THE   BKEF^R.  43 

§eeaie4  exceedipgly  happy  in  my  caresses, 
tl^Qugh  she  showed  no  weakness.  She  passed 
for  my  godmother,  and  so  she  certainly  was. 
She  was  minute  in  her  esuunination  in  ascer- 
taioiag  that  I  was  perfectly  clean ;  and  always 
brQjght  me  a  number  of  delicacies,  which  were 
invariably  devoured  immediately  after  her  de- 
parture^ by  me  and  those  little  cormorants  my 
loving  foster-brothers  and  sister.  Moreover,  my 
nurse  always  received  a  present,  which  she  very 
carpfuUy  and  dutifully  concealed  from  her  liege 
lord  of  the  pits.  However,  I  cannot  call  to 
my  mind  more  than  four  of  these  ^^  angelic 
visits"  altogether.  "  Angelic  visits,"  indeed, 
they  might  be  termed,  if  the  transcendent 
beauty  of  the  visitor  be  regarded.  At  that 
time,  her  form  and  her  countenance  fur- 
nished me  with  the  idea  I  had  of  the  blessed 
inhabitants  of  heaven  before  man  was  created, 
and  I  have  never  been  able  to  replace  it  since 
by  anything  more  beautiful.  The  reader  shall 
soon  know  how,  at  that  very  early  age,  I  be- 
came so  well  acquainted  with  angelic  lore. 
;.  At  eight  years  of  age  I  was  sent  to  school 


44  RATtLIK,    THtC    XKtPEIt: 

I  couM  read  before  I  went  diere.  How  I 
picked  up  this  knowledge  I  never  cMild  dis- 
cover. Both  my  foster-parents  were  groaaly  il- 
literate. Perhaps  old  Ford  taught  me — but 
this  is  one  of  the  mjeteriea  I  could  never  solve, 
and  it  ie  strange  that  I  ahould  have  so  totally 
forgotten  all  about  an  affair  so  important,  as  not 
to  remember  a  single  lesson,  and  yet  to  hold  so 
clear  a  recollection  of  many  minor  events.  Butso 
it  b.  To  school  I  went :  my  master  was  a  cada- 
verous, wooden-legged  mui,  a  disbanded  seedier, 
and  a  disdplinarian,  as  well  as  an  a-b-c-darian. 

I  well  remember  old  Isaacs,  and  bis  tall, 
hutdsome,  crane-necked  daughter,  l^e  hussy 
was  as  strught  as  an  arrow,  yet,  fur  the  sake 
<A  coquetry,  or  singularity,  she  would  sit 
in  the  methodist  chapel,  with  her  dimpled 
chin  resting  upon  an  iron  hoop,  and  her  finely 
formed  shoulders  braced  back  with  straps  so 
tightly,  83  to  thrust  out  in  a  remarkable  manner 
her  swan-like  chest,  and  her  almost  too  eiu- 
berant  bust  This  instrument  for  the  distorted, 
with  its  bright  crimson  leather,  thus  pressed 
into  the  service  of  the  beautiful,  had  a  most 


B4TTI.IK9    THE   jRSKF|EJ»^  4$ 

fingU^aiuJrei^tii^^flkct  upon  the  belM^ert 
L  Ipaiife!  tofien  tbcHight  of  this  girl  in  my  maturer 
yieai^.  and  confess  that  no  dress  that  I  ever 
beheld  gave  a  more  piquant  interest  to  die 
wjeaxer,  than  those  straps  and  irons.  The  jade 
i^v^  wore  them  at  home.  Perhaps  the  fancy 
uras  her  frther's^  he  being  an  old  soldier,  and 
his  motto  ^  eyes  right !  dress  i*^  ^liosever 
£uioy  it  was,  his  daughter  rejoiced  in  it 
**  Eyes  right !  dress !"  is  as  good  a  motto  for 
the  ladies  as  the  army— and  well  do  they  act 
up  to  it. 

The  most  important  facts  that  my  mind 
has  preserved  concerning  this  scholastic  e8ta«> 
blishment  are — that  one  evening,  for  a  task,  I 
learned  perfectly  by  heart  the  two  first  chap* 
ters  of  the  Gospel  according  to  St  John  ;  that 
there  was  an  unbaked  gooseberry  pie  put  ipro- 
minenily  on  the  shelf  in  the  school^room,  a  fort* 
night  before  the  vacation  at  Midsummer,  to  be 
partaken  of  on  the  happy  day  of  breaking  up, 
each  boy  paying  four-pence  for  his  share  of  the 
mighty  feast  There  were  between  forty  and 
fifty  of  us.    I  had  almost  forgotten  to  mention, 


46 


BATTLIK,    THE    B££F£R. 


that  I  was  to  be  duly  punished  whenever  I  de- 
served it,  but  the  master  was,  on  no  account,  to 
hurt  me,  or  make  me  cry,  I  deserved  it  regu- 
larly three  or  four  times  a-day,  and  was  as 
regularly  horsed  once.  Oh !  those  floggings, 
how  deceptive  they  were,  and  how  much  I  re- 
gretted them  when  I  came  to  understand  the 
thing  fundamentally.  Old  Isaacs  could  not 
have  performed  the  operation  more  delicately, 
if  he  were  only  brushing  a  fly  off  the  down  of 
a  lady's  cheek.    He  never  made  me  cry. 


hotfee.  Why  should  the  exeitkms  ^f  iiitdlecl 
be  termed  low,  in  tlie  case  of  the  mechanic,  and 
Tftst,  pfrofound,  and  glorious,  in  that  of  the 
minister?  It  is  the  same  predous  gift  of  a 
beneficent  power  to  all  his  creatures.  As  weH 
may  the  sun  be  voted  as  excessively  vulgar, 
because  it,  like  inteDect,  assists  all  equally  to 
perform  their  functions.  I  repeat,  that  nothing 
that  has  mind  is,  of  necessity,  low,  and  nothing 
18  vulgar  but  meanness. 


,  My.pujrsfl  vp^  always  a<  little  4eroticmi4,r;,>^ 
^j^nt  tp  the  nearest  cbapel  or  cimciitp:  w^  ^ 
defied  that  she  heard  the  word  of  God^;  without 
troubling  herself  with  the  niceties  of  any  £iM»^ 
liar  dogma,  which  she  could  not  have  und^r 
Stood  if  she  had,  and  finding  herself  o^/tl^fi 
threshold  of  divine  grace,  she  knelt  down  in 
all  humility,  prayed,  and  was  comfortedf  Old 
Ford  was  a  furious  Methodist ;  he  owned  th^ 
he  never  could  reform ;  and,  as  he  daily  draio^ 
the  cup  of  sin  to  the  very  dregs,  he  triedyrM 
an  antidote,  long  prayer,  and  superabounding 
faith.  The  unction  with  which  he  struck  bpa 
breast,  and  exclaimed,  '<  Miserable  sinner  t^i^t 
I  am !"  could  only  be  exceeded  by  the  vectr 
city  of  the  assertion.  Mrs.  Brandon  only  joi|ied 
in  the  prayer-meetings  that  he  held  a^  pur 
hou£^  when  Ford  himself  was  perfectly  so)iar 
—7  thus  ahe  did  not  often  attend — Br^pdpi^ 
never.  Whilst  be  wore  the  top-boots,,  be  Wif^ 
an  optimist  and  perfectly  epicurean  in  his  phi* 
losophy — I  use  the  term  in  the  modem  sena^ 
When  he  had  eighty  pounds  odd  ^^t^  YlMf^ 
no  family  of  his  own,  no  man  was  moi^.  javLiiJi> 


i#^a[ift(ftl' '  Hte  bid  1M  fiicMt  |Mirfect  niEluioe 
dtf  PWiMfeuciB.  He  boasted,  thAt  be  belonged 
ttr^'  Bstsftblidied  Churdi,  because  it  was  so 
respectftble'^-aiid  be  lored  the  organ.  How- 
e¥&ti  be  never  went  in  the  forenoon  because 
b§  wM  net^  shaved  in  time;  in  the  afternoon 
be  steMr  went,  because  he  could  not  dispense 
#itb  bis  flap  after  dinner;  and,  in  the  evening, 
iMMie  bttl  the  serving  classes  were  to  be  i^een 
tShel^'  He  ridiculed  the  humble  piety  of  his 
ntfi^  Slid  the  fanatical  fervour  of  his  lodger. 
H^was  A  bigb  churchman,  and  satMed.  But 
wben'he  was  obliged,  with  an  increasing  family 
aiid  a  dedneesed  income,  to- work  from  morning 
tttrngfal,  be  grew  morose,  and  very  unsettled 
iiiigsifidtb. 

''The  IVench  revolution  was  then  at  its  wildest 
^fei^fljs.  Equality  was  universally  advocated  in 
i^^gieubj  as  well  as  political  estabfisbments. 
The  excitement  of  the  times  resdiled  even  to 
the  eawpH.  Brandon  got  tipsy  oM  Saturday 
wMi  a  pai!iMl  of  demagogues,  and  when  be 
aw6ke' "liariy  next  Sunday  morning — ^it  was  a 
t^Mifd  stuntner  day — ^be  made  ^  sudden 

VOL.  L  s> 


50  JBATTLIN,   THE   BJBBFBB. 

discovery  that  he  had  still  his  faith  to  seek 
for.  Then  began  his  dominical  pilgrimages. 
With  his  son  Ralph  in  his  hand,  he  roved  firom 
one  congregation  to  another  over  the  vast 
metropolis,  and  through  its  extensive  environs. 
I  do  not  think  that  we  left  a  single  place,  dedi- 
cated to  devotion,  unvisited.  I  well  remember 
that  he  was  much  struck  with  the  Roman 
Catholic  worship.  We  repeated  our  visits 
three  or  four  times  to  the  Catholic  chapel, 
a  deference  we  paid  to  no  other.  The  result  of 
this  may  be  easily  imagined.  When  an  excited 
mind  searches  for  food,  it  will  be  satisfied  with 
the  veriest  trash,  provided  only  that  it  intoxi- 
cates. We  at  length  stumbled  upon  a  small 
set  of  mad  Methodists,  more  dismal  and  more 
-excluding  than  even  Ford's  sect:  the  congre- 
gation were  all  of  the  very  lowest  class,  with 
about  twelve  or  thirteen  exceptions,  and  those 
were  decidedly  mad«  The  pastor  was  an  arch 
rogue,  that  fattened  upon  the  delusion  of  his 
communicants.  They  held  the  doctrine  of  visi- 
ble election,  which  election  was  made  by  having 
a  call— that  is,  a  direct  visitation  of  the  Holy 


UATTLlVf   THE   KKSFSB.  51 

Gbost,  wUch  waB  testified  by  Cdling  down  in  a 
fit— tbe  testificatkm  being  the  more  authentic,  if 
it  happened  in  foil  Gongregation«  The  elected 
oould  nerer  again  fidl:  the  sins  that  were  after* 
wards  committed  in  their  persons  were  not  theirs 
-^it  was  the  evil  spirit  within  them,  that  they 
ceoki  cast  out  when  they  would,  and  be  equally  as 
pure  as  before.  All  the  rest  of  the  world,  who 
had  not  had  their  call,  were  in  a  state  of  repro- 
bation, and  on  the  high-road  to  damnation. 

All  this,  of  course,  I  did  not  understand  till 
long  afterwards,  but  I  too  unhappily  understood, 
or  at  least  fended  I  did,  the  dreadful  images  of 
eternal  torments,  and  the  certainty^  that  they 
would  soon  be  mine.  First  of  all,  either  from 
inattention,  or  from  want  of  comprehension, 
these  denunciations  made  but  a  faint  impression 
upon  me.  But  the  frightful  descriptions  took, 
graduafiy,  a  more  viable  and  sterner  shape, 
tffl  they  produced  effects  that  proved  all  but 
fatal 

The  doctrines  of  these  Caterians  just  suited 
tbcf  intellect  and  tbe  strong  passions  of  Bran- 
dom    The.  sect  was  cidled  Caterians,  afi;er  the 

d2 


52  R:A,XTLIX,    THE    BEErF^B. 

Rev«  Mr.  C^te»  their  minister.  My,  fo;^teTw|a<- 
ther  went  home»  after  the  seoond  Sunday,-  and 
put  hie  house  in  order.  As  far  as  regarded  the 
household,  the  regulations  would  have  pleaded 
Snr  Andrew  Agnew:  the  hot  jc^nt  was  disnuaaed 
•»— the  country  walk  discontinued — at  meeting 
four  times  a  day.  Even  Ford  did  not  Uke 
it  Brandon,  was  labouring  hard  for  his  call 
He  strove  vehemently  for  the  privilege  oT  sinf 
ning  with  impunity.  He  was  told  by  Mr.-  Gate 
that  he  was  in  a  desperate  way.  Brandon  ^ifid 
att^'he  ^ould,  but  the  call  would  not  come  for 
the  calling.  Mrs.  Brandon  got  it  very  i^oi|, 
though  she  strenuously  denied  the  h^our. 
My  good  nurse  was.  in  the  family  way^  and 
Mr^^Cate, bad  frightened  her  into  fits,  indth.^fi 
vivid  .d^lineai^on  of  the  agonies  of  a  new-l^f^ 
infant,  under  the  torture  of  eternal  fire»  be^f^i^ 
iti  had .  ,died  .  unelected.  However,  Br^don 
began  I  )9<i  little  tp  weary  of  waiting*  and.  .l^^^g 
l^r^;ef,  -^md  perh^^rjof;  Ithe  now  too  fireq|u^t 
yiaitS;QfiJ^r..^C»t^> ,  H^  iconwenc^.ibo  jhavj^  Jbis 
6^,44  «Iteiq[^ate  is^temit^ate.  repkl^s^^^es^.ai^d 
TeUgi9i<j#  di^pondency,    Qne  Supday, ,  ^orqpg^ 


JLfiTTLlN}   THE   BEEFER.  43 

9eeaie4  ei^ceediogly  happy  in  my  caresses, 
tl^Qugh  she  showed  no  weakness.  She  passed 
for  ipy  godmother,  and  so  she  certainly  was. 
She  was  minute  in  her  examination  in  ascer- 
taioiag  that  I  was  perfectly  clean ;  and  always 
brpjgbt  me  a  number  of  delicacies,  which  were 
invariably  devoured  immediately  after  her  de- 
parture^ by  me  and  those  little  cormorants  my 
loving  foster-brothers  and  sister.  Moreover,  my 
nurse  always  received  a  present,  which  she  very 
carpfuUy  and  dutifully  concealed  from  her  liege 
lord  of  the  pits.  However,  I  cannot  call  to 
my  mind  more  than  four  of  these  '^  angelic 
visits'*  altogether.  "  Angelic  visits,"  indeed, 
they  might  be  termed,  if  the  transcendent 
beauty  of  the  visitor  be  regarded.  At  that 
time,  her  form  and  her  countenance  fur- 
nished me  with  the  idea  I  had  of  the  blessed 
inhabitants  of  heaven  before  man  was  created, 
and  I  have  never  been  able  to  replace  it  since 
by  anything  more  beautiful.  The  reader  shall 
soon  know  how,  at  that  very  early  age,  I  be- 
came so  well  acquainted  with  angelic  lore. 
,-  At  eight  yc^ars  of  age  I  was  sent  to  school 


i 


54  EATTlilK,   THE   RCSFEE. 

tell  mother  that  we  had  gone  into  a  Btrange 
diapel ;  but  I  made  my  conditions,  that  motiier 
should  not  be  any  more  beaten.  It  was  almost 
church-time  when  the  landlord  put  U8  all  dut 
by  the  back  way.  The  drunken  fellows  sneaked 
home — ^whilst  Brandon,  taking  me  by  the  hand, 
made  violent,  and  nearly  successful,  efforts  to 
appear  sober. 

After  a  hasty  break&st  we  went  to  meeting. 
My  fester-feUher  looked  excessively  wild.  Mr. 
Gate  was  raving  in  the  midst  of  an  extempore 
prayer,  when  a  heavy  fell  was  heard  in  the  cha- 
peL  The  minister  descended  firom  big  desk, 
and  came  and  prayed  over  tiie  prostrate  victim 
of  intoxication,  and,  perhaps,  of  ejnkpsy,  ami 
he  pronounced  that  brother  Brandon  had  got 
his  call,  and  was  now  indisputably  one  of  tiie 
elect  He  did  not  revive  so  soon  as  was  ex* 
pected-^his  groans  were  looked  upon  as  indi- 
cations of  tiie  workings  of  die  Spirit,  and  when, 
at  length,  he  was  so  for  recovered  as  to  be  M 
home  by  two  of  die  congregation,  the  con- 
version of  the  sawyer  was  dwelt  upon  by  the 
preacher,  from  a  text  preached  upon  the  chap- 


EATTLnr,  THE  BXBFXB.        5|5 

tor  tbftt  relates  to  the  eonverdon  of  Saul,  and 
the  cases  were  dted  as  parallel  Let  the  op- 
ponents of  the  Established  Church  rail  at  it  as 
they  will,  scries  of  such  wickedness  and  im- 
fkety  could  never  have  happened  within  its 
time-honoured  walls. 

Wh^i  we  returned  to  dinner,  we  found  that 
Brandon  had  so  fer  recovered,  as  tQ  become 
very  hungry,  very  proud,  and  very  pharisai- 
cally pious*  Mr.  Cate  dined  with  us.  He  was 
luUcf  holy  congratulations  on  the  miraculous 
event  The  sawyer  received  all  this  with  a 
humble  self-consequence,  as  the  infEdlible  dicta 
of  truth,  and,  apparently,  with  the  utter  obli- 
vion of  any  such  things  existing  as  purl  and 
red-hot  pokers.  Was  he  a  deep  hyprocrite,  or 
only  a  selfi-deoeiver  ?  Who  can  know  the 
heart  of  man?  However,  **  this  call"  had  the 
eflfoctof  making  the  ^^  called  one''  a  finished 
simounvand  of  Ming  up  the  measure  of  wretch- 
edness to  his  wife* 


.:.'.)       • . .  I  '       f 


56 


B«KT«rCtil,  -tUE  .HftfitVfti 


^ 


■»  t    ■*-. 


ft* 


'i-':/j-iMj 


■"  'i 

.'r->.fU 

•i      Iv 

■  t:  '/  [  H 

•  .-;•;/  • 

CHAPTER  VIL 


I  too  have  my  call — to  death's  door — ^A  great  rise  in 
life — Brandon  allows  neither  slugs  nor  sluggards  in 
his  sawpit — Is  ruined,  and  beats  the  reverend  Mr. 
CatcL^ 


»-  » 


:« 


All  tMd  was  preparatory  to  an  even^  to  ttie  bf 
the  utmost  importance,  which  is,  perhaps,  at  thS^' 
rery  moment,  influencing  imperceptfhfy  TlAy 
mind,  and  directiilg  my  character.  Brandohlf 
cdl,  in  otir  httmble  circle,  made  a  grttit  deal  bf 
noise.  He  badtdcen  care  that  T  sbbukl'kno^^ 
wha:t  drunkenness  m^imt.  I  ihMgbt  b^  dtoglit 
to  hkve  been  drunk  on  the  afteriioon  df  hid^feo-' 
tioii,  yet  he  so  well  didgtiised  his/  itrtblicititrt'r 
that  be  appeared  not  to  be  so.    I  likened  ittel^i- 


tively  to  the  sermon  of  the  preacher  thiU:  fol- 
lowed. I  no  longer  doubted.  I  could  not  but ' 
believe  that  a  grave  man  in  a  pulpit  could 
speak  anything  but  truth,  when  he  spoke  so 
loudly,  and  spoke  for  two  hours.  My  mind 
was  a  chaos  of  confusion.  I  began  to  be  very 
miserable.  The  next,  or  one  or  two  Sundays 
after,  produced  the  crisis.  My  dress  was 
always  much  superior  to  what  could  have  been 
expected  in  the  son  of  a  mere  operative.  I  was, 
at  that  tiifie,  a  fiedr  and  mild-featured  cbQd, 
an^  altogether  remarkable  among  the  set  who 
frequented  the  meeting-house.  Mr.  Gitei  b^d 
been  very  powerful  indeed  in  his  description  of 
t)^.,jj»fernal  regions— of  the  abiding  ^gaoie^-ry 
tli|^. level  li^e  that  bumetb — the  tossiug^pf,  the. 
wajres  .ih^^glow,.  and,  when  he  had  thrown  Vnff^ 
or.  |]bp;flf  9)d  women  into  hysterics^  ^and  twi^pr. 
^H'Cf^  JPUIig  -opea  into  Minting;  fits,  an^d^  tb^ 

t<;OT99*jffffh»  <»atPFy»  Wd  thegBowipgj^and.th^ 
'VLfwd  hstv^ioic^rf^  upon  meV  of  .hi^i^^dieB/c^ 
he,  ,ma^  |.  fijuwj^i^.  paijae.  TJ^ew  W/Bu^  a,  d<^^, 
si](ej^.%^i^.,.fti^        then  sudd^y ,^ft^flg, 

D  d 


68  EATYLiy,   THE   BBSFSB* 

^  Behold  that  beautiftil  child*— observe  the  {lUre 
Mood  manding  m  his  delicate  countentnoe^but 
what  is  he  after  all  but  a  mouthfiil  for  the 
devil?  All  those  torments,  all  those  tortures, 
that  I  have  told  you  o^  will  be  his;  ther^  look 
at  him,  he  will  bum  and  writhe  in  pain,  and 
consume  for  ever,  and  ever,  and  ever,  jand  never 
be  destroyed,  unless  the  original  sin  be  washed 
out  from  him  by  the  *  call,'  lest  he  be  made 
hereafter  one  of  the  *  elect'  ^ 

At  this  direct  address  to  myself  I  neither 
fiunted,  shuddered,  nor  cried — I  felt,  at  the 
time,  a  little  stupefied :  and  it  was  some  hours 
after  (the  hideous  man's  words  all  the  time 
ringing  in  my  ears)  before  I  fiilly  comprehended 
my  hopeless  state  of  perdition.  I  looked  at  the 
fire  as  I  sat  by  it,  and  trembled*  I  went  to 
bed,  but  not  to  sleep.  No  child  ever  haunted 
by  a  ghost-story  was  more  terrified  than  myself, 
as  I  lay  panting  on  my  tear-steeped  pillow. 
At  length,  imagination  began  its  dreadful 
charms — the  room  enlarged  itself  in  its  gloom 
to  vast  space — I  began  to  hear  cries  from  under 
my  bed     Some  dark  bodies  first  of  ail  flitted 


^Atthlih   T9£  49BFXB*  59 

msnmiiiB  gjLomanng.  My  bed  began  to  rock. 
I  tried  to  aing  a,  bymiL  I  tfaougbt  that  the 
worde  came  out:^  my  monAh  in  flames  of  bright 
fira  I  then  ealled  to  mind  tfie  offeiings  from 
die  alters  erf  Cain  and  AbeL  I  watched  to  see 
if  my  hymns  turned  into  fire»  and  ascended  up 
to  heawL-  I  felt  a  edld  homur  when  I  dis- 
covered tfiem  seattered  from  my  mouth  exactly 
in  the  same  mann«r  that  I  had  seen  tlie  flames 
in  the  engraving  in  our  large  Kble  on  the  altar 
of  Cain.  Then  thexe  came  a  huge  block  of 
woody  and  stationed  itself  in  the  air  above  me, 
about  six  inches  from  my  eyes.  I  remember  no 
more— I  was  in  a  raging  fever. 

I  was  ill  for  some  weeks,  and  a  helpless  invar 
lid  for  many  mora  When  again  I  enjoyed  per- 
ception of  the  things  around  me,  I  found  myself 
in  a  new  house  in  Red  Ooss  Street,  near  St. 
Luke's.  My  foster-parents  had  opened  a  shop 
— ^it  had  the  appearance  of  a  most  respec^ble 
frnkerer'*s.  Mr.  Brandcm  had  beoHne  a  small 
timber  merchant-*-had  sawpits  in  the  premises 
behind  die  house,  and  men  of  his  own  actually 
sawing  in   them.      But    the   most   surprising 


90  s^TTbW)  THIS  Mznn* 

^flPge'DfaU  wa%  thit  tbei  .s^^Mid  Mnh£Mt 
vfta.  domesticfttecl  with  u$»  IBraiid^ivoi^'oa 
ipa9ter, 'worked  harder  thaa^  ever  !h^' did  kH^isH 
BMu  My  nurse  became  anxious  and KMrevdm» 
and  never  seemed  happy — far  my  pavtp  Invas-ad 
debilitated^  that  I  then  took  bat  little inollke>«of 
anything.  However,  the  beautiitd  lady  Derer 
ealied.  I  used  to  spend  myr  time  thiaking^iipoii 
tiigela  anddierubs,  and  in  learning  bgfmtie'bgr 
heart  I  suppose  that  I,  Jike.mylost^Hflulbto 
bad  hsd  my  call,  but  I  am  sure  that  aftet*  ilf,  I 
waa  a8{.:much  weaker  in  mind  as  I  waa  in  body* 
When  J  became  strong  enough  to  he  again  able 
tQirun  about)  I  was  once  more  sent  to  adi<>> 
aobooly.and  all  that  I  remember  about  the 
mi^tt^r  was,  that  every  day  about  eleven  o'clock 
I  wai^ld  to  Tvax  home  and  get  a  vngful  of  potatoes 
from  Brandon's,  the  venerable  pedagogue  coolly 
taking  off  his  wig,  and  exchanging  it  for  a  red 
night-cap,  until  my  return  with  the  provender. 

Things  now  wore  a  dismal  aspect  at  home. 
At  length,  one  day,  the  broker  sent  his  men  into 
the  shop,  who  threw  all  the  green-grocery  about 
like  peelings  of  onions.     They  carted  away  Mr. 


Bnakdalk  deri^^wid  fdMks,  and  timben- atid, 
iiot^>conteDti9KMh  all*  tfafid,  they  also  took  away 
die  hfkb  of  tberlMusehold  ftirniture.  My  nUTBe 
called -Mt^  Gate  <«  devil  in  a  white  8heet-4My 
husband  acted  as  be  always  would  do  when  he 
tmsoffnidedandfcmBld  himself  strong  enough :  he 
ga^ve  the  tevesifehd  gentleman,  most  irreverently^ 
a  tiemendMs  beating.  The  sheep  sadly  gored 
tile  abepherd.  Afterwards,  when  he  had  nearly 
killed  bia'pastOT)  be  seceded  from  his  flock,  and 
gave  fau%  under  his  own  band,  a  solemn  abjuh 
ration  of  tbe  Caterian  tenets.  How  Brandon 
came  t«>  kmich  out  into  this  expensive  and  iH'- 
advised  undertaking  of  green-groceries  and 
sswj^ts,  bow*  be  afterwards  became  involved^ 
and  bow  much  the  preacher  bad  been  gtiilty 
in  deceiving  bxm,  I  never  clearly  understood. 
However,  my  nurse  never,  for  a  long  time 
after,  spoke  of  the  reverend  gentleman  with- 
out applying  the  comer  of  her  apron  to  her 
eyes,  or  her  husband  without  a  hearty  male- 
diction. We  removed  to  our  old  neighbour- 
hood, but,  instead  of  taking  a  respectable  bouse, 
we  were  forced  to  burrow  in  mean  lodgings. 


6a 


MATmHtf,  ,TUH   EBBFKJB^ 


l(     il  ■        I     '  (  ! 


^»' 


hi' 


.     '      '•■►     • 


.) 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

Another  migration — from  the  ruralities  of  Cut-throat 
Lane  to  the  grovei  of  Academus— I  am  forced  Jnto 
good  dothes  and-  the  paths  of  learning  in  spite  itf 
.  my  teeth,  though  I  use  them  spitefully. 


Misfortunes  never  come  angle.  I  don't  know 
why  they  should.  They  are  but  scarecrow, 
lean-visaged,  miserable  associates,  and  so  they 
arrive  in  a  body  to  keep  each  other  in  counte- 
nance. I  had  been  but  a  few  weeks  in  our 
present  miserable  abode^  and  had  fully  recover- 
ed my  heahh,  though  I  think  that  I  was  a  little 
crased.widi  the  prints,  and  the  subjects  of 
them,  over  wluch  I  daily  pored  in  the  large 
Bible^  wjien  the  greatest  misfortune  of  all  came 


mMFiiXKj  THE  ifismnuu  68 

upon  the  poor  Brandons — and  that  was,  to  add 
to  their  other  losses,  the  loss  of  my  invaluable 
8el£ 

1^  misery  was  unexpected — ^it  was  sudden 
— ^it  was  overwhehning.  Brandon  was  towing  a 
chalked  line  on  a  heavy  log  of  mahogany,  un- 
conscious of  the  mischief  that  was  working  at 
home.  He  afterwards  told  me,  and  I  believe 
him,  that  he  would  have  opposed  the  proceed- 
ing by  force,  if  force  had  been  requisite.  A 
plain,  private^  or  hired  carriage,  drove  up  to 
the  door,  and,  after  ascertaining  that  the  Bran- 
dons lived  at  the  house,  a  bucdness-like  looking, 
ekierly  gentleman  stepped  out,  paid  every 
demand  immediatdiy,  and  ordered  my  best 
clothes  (m.  When  I  was  thus  equipped,  my 
nurse  was  told  that  she  was*  perfectly  welcome 
to  the  remainder  of  my  effects,  and  that  I  must 
get  into  the  carriage. 

The  good  woman  was  thunderstruck*  There 
was  a  scene,  ^e  raved,  and  I  cried,  and  the  four 
little  Brandons,  at  least  three  of  them,  joined  in 
the  diorus  of  lamentation,  because  the  naughty 
man  was  going  to  take  brother  Ralph  away.    I 


54  EATTiinf,  THE  BKCFSR. 

tell  modier  that  we  had  gone  into  a  strange 
chapel ;  but  I  made  my  conditions,  that  metier 
should  not  be  any  more  beaten.  It  wad  dinost 
church-time  when  the  landlord  put  us  all  dut 
by  the  back  way.  He  drunken  fellows  sneak^ 
home — ^whilst  Brandon,  taking  me  by  the  hand, 
made  violent,  and  nearly  sucoessfiil,  eflforts  to 
appear  sober. 

After  a  hasty  breakfast  we  went  to  meeting. 
My  foster-fiadier  looked  excessively  wild.  Mr. 
Gate  was  raving  in  the  midst  of  an  extempore 
prayer,  when  a  heavy  Mi  was  heard  in  the  cha- 
peL  The  minister  descended  firom  his  desk, 
and  came  and  prayed  over  the  prostrate  victim 
of  intoxication,  and,  perhaps,  of  epilepsy,  and 
he  pronounced  that  brother  Brandon  had  got 
his  call,  and  was  now  indisputably  one  of  the 
elect  He  did  not  revive  so  soon  as  was  ex- 
pected—^his  groans  were  looked  upon  as  indi« 
cations  of  the  workings  of  the  Spirit,  and  when, 
at  length,  he  was  so  far  recovered  as  to  be  led 
home  by  two  of  the  congregation,  the  con- 
version of  the  sawyer  was  dwelt  upon  by  the 
preacher,  from  a  text  preached  upon  the  chap« 


EATTLIK,   THE   EEBFSE.  56 

ter  tbftt  relates  to  the  eonyerdon  of  Saul,  and 
the  cases  were  cited  as  parallel  Let  the  op- 
ponents of  the  Established  Church  rail  at  it  as 
they  will,  scenes  of  such  wickedness  and  im- 
jniety  could  never  have  happened  within  its 
time-honoured  walls. 

When  we  returned  to  dinner,  we  found  that 
Brandon  had  so  far  recovered,  as  to  become 
very  hungry,  very  proud,  and  very  pharisai- 
cally  pious.  Mr.  Cate  dined  with  us.  He  was 
lullof  holy  congratulations  on  the  miraculous 
event  The  sawyer  received  aU  this  with  a 
humble  self-consequence,  as  the  in&lHble  dicta 
of  truth,  and,  apparently,  with  the  utter  obli- 
vion of  any  such  things  existing  as  purl  and 
red>hot  pokers.  Was  he  a  deep  hyprocrite,  or 
only  a  selfi-deoeiver  ?  Who  can  know  the 
heart  of  man?  However,  ^<this  call"  had  the 
eflfoct  of  making  the  ^^  called  one"  a  finished 
sinner^  loid  of  filling  up  the  measure  of  wretch- 
edness to  his. wife* 


r.l         *.ir    :t 


56 


BttTfTLIN,    VtlE 


CHAPTER  VII. 


I  too  have  my  call — to  death's  door — ^A  great  rise  in 

I  '         ■   . 

•  ■         -  *  •  ' 

life — Brandon  allows  neither  slugs  nor  sluggards  in 
his  sawpit — Is  ruined,  and  beats  the  reverend  ^r. 


Catc^ 


All  this  was  preparatory  to  an  evenly  to  me  dF 
the  utmost  importance,  which  is,  perhaps,  at*  tM»* 
rery  mothetit,  influencing  impercifptfbfy'  ittj^ 
mind,  and  directing  my  character.  B^kti^Ml^ 
cdl,  in  otn*  htrmble  circle,  made  a  gr^at  detf 'bf 
noise.  '  He  bad  tdcen  care  that  T  dMukH^hii^' 
what  drimkenness  mtoit.  I  ihM^  h^  xHt^ 
to  hkve  beien  drunk  on  th^  afterttdoii'df  his^'^lec^' 
tibh,  yet  he  so  well  disgtdsed  hi^  ititoiiditio^^ 
that  lie  appeared  not  to  be  so.    I  liMenetf  irtted^ 


\ 


tively  to  the  sermon  of  the  preacher  thut  fol- 
lowed. I  no  longer  doubted  I  could  not  but' 
beliere  that  a  grave  man  in  a  pulpit  could 
speak  anything  but  truth,  when  he  spoke  so 
loudly,  and  spoke  for  two  hours.  My  mind 
was  a  chaos  of  confusion.  I  began  to  be  very 
iniserable.  The  next,  or  one  or  two  Sundays 
after,  produced  the  crisis.  My  dress  was 
always  much  superior  to  what  could  have  been 
expected  in  the  son  of  a  mere  operative.  I  was, 
at  that  time,  a  fiedr  and  mild-featured  cHfld, 
an4  altogether  remarkable  among  the  set  who 
frequented  the  meeting-house*  Mr.  Cate.sb^d 
been  very  powerful  indeed  in  his  description  of 
tb^^u^enaal  regions— -of  the  aUding  iigomes-rf 
tl^. level  k^  that  bumetb — the  tossiug^pf^  the 
wafres.lfhat  j^w,^  and,  when  lie  had  throwja  twv 
cf:tj^p;fi|^j9|d  women  into  hysterics^  and  tw^.PV 
4^rei9:jovy»g vOiaes^^  into  fEonting  fit8,.ami(i^  t^^ 
tQ^9t^fff,hl^  ofPatofy,  mwi  thegBowipgi^and.rt^^ 
'i  l^  t^vf^^M^r^y  upon  meV  of .hi^jaudieu^, 
he^^^i^  I^.8iui4dw.  paijae.  Th^r^  wiau^a.d^ci, 
silj^^^^r^^^uiwute,  then  sudd^^ly  ,Pii)g. 

D  5 


S8  EAT7I.IK9    THE   BBSFSB* 

^  Behold  that  beautiftil  child^-obsorve  the  pure 
blood  mantling  in  his  delicate  countenance  ^but 
what  b  he  after  all  but  a  mouthfiil  for  the 
devil?  All  those  torments,  all  those  tortures, 
that  I  have  told  you  o^  will  be  his;  ther^  look 
at  him,  he  will  bum  and  writhe  in  pain,  and 
consume  for  ever,  and  ever,  and  ever,  and  never 
be  destroyed,  unless  the  original  sin  be  washed 
out  from  him  by  the  *  call,'  lest  he  be  made 
hereafter  one  of  the  *  elect' " 

At  this  direct  address  to  myself  I  neither 
fidnted,  shuddered,  nor  cried — I  felt,  at  the 
time,  a  little  stupefied:  and  it  was  some  hours 
after  (the  hideous  man's  words  all  the  time 
ringing  in  my  ears)  before  I  fiilly  comprehended 
my  hopeless  state  of  perdition.  I  looked  at  the 
fire  as  I  sat  by  it,  and  trembled.  I  went  to 
bed,  but  not  to  sleep.  No  child  ever  haunted 
by  a  ghost-story  was  more  terrified  than  myself 
as  I  lay  panting  on  my  tear-steeped  pillow. 
At  length,  imagination  began  its  dreadful 
charms-^the  room  enlarged  itself  in  its  gloom 
to  vast  space — I  began  to  hear  cries  from  under 
my  b^     Some  dark  bodies  first  of  all  flitted 


BATTLZar,   TH£.S££FBB.  39 

curist,  with  his  pension  recently  reduced,  could 
have  been  more  vehement  on  the  subject  of  the 
sanctity  of  vested  rights.  But  his  ire  was  not 
to  be  vented  in  idle  declamation  only.  He  was 
not  a  man  to  rest  content  with  mere  words :  he 
declaimed  for  a  full  hour  upon  his  wife's  folly 
in  procuring  him  the  means  of  well-fed  idleness 
so  long,  threatened  to  take  the  brat — ^meaning 
no  less  a  personage  than  myself — to  the  work- 
house :  and  then  he  wound  up  affairs,  in  doors, 
by  beating  his  wife,  and  himself,  out  of  doors, 
by  getting  royally  drunk. 

This  was  the  first  scene  that  made  a  deep  im- 
pression upon  me.  Young  as  I  was,  I  compre- 
hended that  I  was  the  cause  of  the  ill-treatment 
of  my  nurse,  whom  I  fondly  loveA  I  interfered 
— I  placed  my  little  body  between  her  and  her 
brutal  oppressor.  I  scratched,  I  kicked,  I  scream- 
ed— I  grew  mad  with  passion.  At  that  hour, 
the  spirit  of  evil  and  of  hate  blew  the  dark  coal  in 
my  heart  into  a  flame;  and  the  demon  of  violent 
anger  has  ever  since  found  it  too  easy  to  erect 
there  his  altar,  of  which  the  fire,  though  at  the 
time  all-consuming,  is  never  durable.    From  that 


6d'  RATTLlKi   TH%  MEttn^ 

(^a9g0i>faU  wa%  thul t^e. .t^^r^Dend  Mnh£&M 
v#ft  domesticsted  with  ui»  Bwiide%(  >  asn>a 
nutter, 'worked  harder  Ihw*  eve?  he  did*fii9«fii 
BiafEu  My  nurse  became  anxious  «nd  iMrewiim^ 
and  never  seemed  happy — far  my  part^  I^waftad 
debilitated^  that  I  then  took  hot  liltlemotice^fof 
anjtUag.  However,  the  beautiful  lady  ntver 
eaUed.  I  used  to  spend  my  tii»e  thinkings  ^pon 
angete  anddierubs,  and  in  learning  bgrmtis4»()r 
heart;.  Isuppose  that  I,  liI&e.my{()i9teiHf|uAf»B> 
hfld  bad  my  call,  but  I  am  aure  (hat  aS;et*  iI^.hI 
wa0a8(.:much  weaker  in  mind  as  I  was  in. body* 
When  J  be?an2e  strong  mough  to  he  4^ri  «Ue 
to^run  about,  I  was  onee  mc^e-sentuto  jaidaQ^f 
aobeol,  andrall  that  I  remeiid>er  abootrihe 
matter  was,  that  every  day  about,  eleveno'clook 
I  wai^ldf  to  nm  home  and  get  a  vrigful  of  poUtoes 
from  Brandon's,  the  venerable  pedagogue  coolly 
taking  off  his  wig,  and  exchanging  it  for  a  red 
night-cap,  until  my  return  with  the  provender. 

Things  now  wore  a  dismal  aspect  at  home. 
At  length,  one  day,  the  broker  sent  his  men  into 
the  shop,  who  threw  all  the  green-grocery  about 
like  peelings  of  onions.     They  carted  away  Mr. 


fiva^doift  deafaj  >Mid  ^atoks,  and  timben- atid, 
not^'eonleDtiiRilih  all- tbte,  they  also  took  away 
thebcM of  theboueebold  fimriture.  My  ntiree 
ealledidr; 'Gate  a  devil  in  a  white  8heet-4MV 
buabond  aetod  as  he  always  woukl  do  when  he 
tv«i8ofllMideft4iid  louiid  himself  strong  enough :  be 
gatie  the  vev^ei^iid  gentleman,  most  irreverentl}>v 
a  tremendMs  beatti^.  The  sheep  sadly  gored 
Ae  ^epherd;  Afterwards,  when  he  had  neaily 
killed  hii'pabtofv  he  seceded  from  his  flock^  and 
gaii^  hiti^  umler  his  own  hand,  a  solemn  abji^* 
rattion  of  the  Caterian  tenets.  How  Brandon 
eame  to  kmich  out  into  this  expensire  and  ill- 
advised  undertaking  of  green<«groceries  and 
sawpitB,  how' be  afterwards  became  invohred^ 
and  how  much  the  preacher  had  been  gliilty 
m  deceiving  hfan,  I  never  dearly  understood. 
However,  my  nurse  never,  for  a  long  time 
afiter,  spoke  of  the  reverend  gentleman  with- 
out applying  the  comer  of  her  apron  to  her 
eyes,  or  her  husband  without  a  hearty  male- 
diction* We  removed  to  our  old  neighbour- 
hood, but,  instead  of  taking  a  respectable  house, 
we  w^re  forced  to  burrow  in  mean  lodgings. 


63 


BATTUN,  THE   B£BFXJ^ 


CHAPTER  VII L 

Another  migration — firom  the  ruralities  of  Cut- throat 
Lane  to  the  groves  of  Academus— I  am  forced  Jnto 
good  dothee  and-  the  paths  of  learning  in  spite  'Of 
my  teeth,  though  I  use  th«n  spitefully. 


Misfortunes  never  come  single.  I  dont  know 
why  they  should.  They  are  but  scareanow, 
leanovisaged,  miserable  associates,  and  so  they 
arrive  in  a  body  to  keep  each  other  in  counte- 
nance. I  had  been  but  a  few  weeks  in  our 
present  miserable  abode,  and  had  fully  reoover- 
ed  my  health,  though  I  think  that  I  was  a  little 
crased.wiA  the  prints,  and  the  subjects  of 
th^os,  over  lirtiich  I  daily  pored  in  the  large 
Bibl%  when  the  greatest  misfortune  of  all  came 


KATTUVf   THE   BEEF^B.  43 

9ee3)e4  exceedingly  happy  in  my  caresses, 
tl^Qugh  she  showed  no  weakness.  She  passed 
(or  u;ky  godmother,  and  so  she  certsdnly  was. 
She  was  minute  in  her  examination  in  ascer- 
taioiog  that  I  was  perfectly  clean ;  and  always 
brQjgbt  me  a  number  of  delicades,  which  were 
invariably  devoured  immediately  after  her  de- 
parture^ by  me  and  those  little  cormorants  my 
loving  foster-brothers  and  sister.  Moreover,  my 
nurse  always  received  a  present,  which  she  very 
carefully  and  dutifully  concealed  from  her  liege 
lord  of  the  pits.  However,  I  cannot  call  to 
my  mind  more  than  four  of  these  ^^  angelic 
visits"  altogether.  "  Angelic  visits,"  indeed, 
they  might  be  termed,  if  the  transcendent 
beauty  of  the  visitor  be  regarded.  At  that 
time,  her  form  and  her  countenance  fur- 
nished me  with  the  idea  I  had  of  the  blessed 
inhabitants  of  heaven  before  man  was  created, 
and  I  have  never  been  able  to  replace  it  since 
by  anything  more  beautiful  The  reader  shall 
soon  know  how,  at  that  very  early  age,  I  be- 
came so  well  acquainted  with  angelic  lore. 
: '  At  eight  years  of  age  I  was  sent  to  schooL 


i 


of  the  oairier  away  pf  qipti¥^ia^w#Ur^p%^ 
kicks,  and  almost < rabid. bjt^     Th^^^.^^tf^. 
gi:eat  disturbanoe.    The  neighH^ure  tl^o^hjtj^jitp 
y^ry  odd  that  .the  mpther  should^^aPow.^f^  . 
e\^^  ^m  to  be  carried  oflF  by  fiprpp|..by,,ft,, 
straPjBier,  before  her  .eyes,  in  the  xnid<He  oj^.^c^^ 
d^y ;  but  then  it  was  suggested,  that  ^^,^oiijiffg ) 
could  be  well  termed  odd  that  conceme<i^,Jl^t^^  , 
Ned  Brandon,  fof ,  hadn't  he  b^n  int.  ]fk^^  year 
by  a:  ms4  dcgi  and,  when  so  and  so,  hfi^  all 
d^  rftvif  g9  he  had  never  nothing  at  aU.haj^pi^^ 
tq  ^inv"    When  the  stnanger  heard  thi^^  stqi^, 
ofrthe.wad/dog,  (which,  by-the-bye,  w^  faa]^  . 
and  I  have  the  scars  to  this  day,)  he  shopk  i^i^,^ 
ofi^,pale,wifh  consternation,  and  was,,  no  dau^pt, 
e?tfCjinely  h|ij)py  to  find  that  my  little  te^th  . 
hai^  ^not  p^petf ated  the  skin.    I  believe  tha^ ;  he  , 
h^9f;tily  xejwntpi.  hm  Qf  bis  QflBice.    At  l?xig!t][i,^ 

*ko!HSdMr4«PMH  :?^??^^n?.  he  .repi^m^jjl^  . 
*<  I  cannot  lose  my  time  in  altercation.    I  am 


fiDgi^  aii4r  ei^iuag.€fl|bct  upon  the' beholden 
L|lpaMB(«fieii  thought  of  this  girl  in  mj  maturec 
yntMf.Bod  cosfess  that  no  dress  that  I  ever 
hebeld  gave  a  more  piquant  interest  to  the 
w/earer,  than  those  straps  and  irons.  The  jade 
oeves*  wore  them  at  home«  Perhaps  the  fancy 
was  her  &ther^s^  he  being  an  old  soldier,  and 
his  motto  ^  eyes  right  I  dress  l*^  Whosever 
fanoy.'it  was,  his  daughter  rejoiced  in  it 
*^  £yes  right !  dress  T  is  as  good  a  motto  for 
the  ladies  as  the  army— >and  well  do  they  act 
up  to  it. 

The  most  important  facts  that  my  mind 
has  preserved  concerning  this  scholastic  esta^ 
blishment  are — that  one  evening,  for  a  task,  I 
learned  perfectly  by  heart  the  two  first  chap 
ters  of  the  Gospel  according  to  St  John  ;  that 
there  was  an  unbaked  gooseberry  pie  put  pn^ 
minendy  on  the  shelf  in  the  schooWoom,  a  fort* 
night  before  the  vacation  at  Midsummer,  to  be 
partaken  of  on  the  happy  day  of  breaking  up, 
each  boy  paying  four-pence  for  his  share  of  the 
mighty  feast  There  were  between  forty  and 
fifty  of  us.     I  had  almost  forgotten  to  mention, 


66  KJkTTLIN,   VUE   ESSFKB. 

Ab  cries  oi  her  whom  I  loved  as  a  mother;, 
exclaiming,  <<  My  Ralph-^my  dear  Ralph  P* 
^  Behold  me  tiien,  *<hot  with  the  fray,  and 
weeping  from  the  fright,"  confined  in  a  loco- 
motiye  prison  with  my  sullen  captor.  I  blub^ 
bered  in  one  comer  of  the*  coach,  and  he  sur-^ 
veyed  me  with  stem  indifference  from  another.  I 
had  now  fairly  commenced  my  journey  through 
Kfe,  but  this  beginning  was  anything  but  aus- 
picious. At  length,  the  carriage  stopped  at  a 
{dace  I  have  since  ascertained  to  be  near  Hatton 
Garden,  on  Holbom  HilL  We  alighted,  and 
walked  into  a  house,  between  two  motionless 
pages,  excessively  well  dressed*  At  first,  they 
startled  me,  but  I  soon  discovered  they  were 
immense  waxen  dolls.  It  was  a  ready-made 
clothes  warehouse  into  which  we  had  entered. 
We  went  up  stairs,  and  I  was  soon  equipped 
with  three  excellent  suits.  My  grief  had  now 
settled  down  into  a  sullen  resentment,  agreeably 
relieved,  at  due  intervals,  by  breath-catching 
sobs.  The  violence  of  the  storm  had  passed, 
but  its  gloom  still  remained.    Seeing  the  little 


glftdncHis  4hat  the  poflsesooa  of  dothes,  the  fineit 
I  had  jH.hmii  commuiiicBted  to  me^  my  direo*- 
tar  couU  not  avoid  giving  himself  the  pleanire- 
abk  leUef  of  eajw^  ^Sulky  Mttle  bruter  A 
trunk  being  sent  for,  and  my  wardrobe  i^nnad 
in  it,  we  tfam  drove  to  tiiree  or  four  other 
shofM^  not  iatgetting  a  hatter%  and  in  a  very 
riiort  epaoe  of  timei  I  had  a  very  tolerable  fit^ 
out  During  all  this  tame  not  a  word  did  my 
silent  eonpanion  addreee  to  me. 

At  length  the  coach  no  longer  rattled  ova: 
the  stones.  It  now  proceeded  on  more  smoothly^ 
and  here  ami  there  the  cheerful  green  foliage 
relieved  the  long  Imes  of  houses.  After  about 
a  half^hout^s  ride^  we  stopped  at  a  large  and 
very  old-fiefaioned  house,  built  in  strict  confor- 
mity with  the  Elizabethean  style  of  arcbitec* 
ture^  over  Ae  portals  of  which,  upon  a  deep 
Mue  board,  in  very,  very  bright  gold  letters, 
fladied  forth  that  word  so  awfiil  to  little  boys, 
so  big  with  associations  of  long  tasks  and  wide- 
qiteading  birch,  4he  Greek-derived  polysyllable^ 
ACADEBfT !  Ignorant  as  I  was,  I  understood  it 
all  in  a  moment    I  was  struck  cold  as  the  dew- 


8d  ii^JimiAij,  ^-Mz  ^iW^i^ 

diinp  i^ai^eHitonei  I  alind«t' ^w*  sMi  #ith 
tmrofv  I  waB  kidnapped^'  ^e^Bttrapp^ ' b^Mt'jFe& 
F'bfld  befoife  hated  school,  my  hom)r  new  ivM 
inteiise  of  *<  Academy.^  I  looked  piteocUily  ititb 
the  fjEuse  of  my  persecutor,  but  I  found  ^ete  no 
Vftopatliy.  ^*  I  want  to  go  hotoe,"  I  <  roared 
out^  and  ttien  burst  into  a  fresh  t<m;«nt  of  teai%. 

Home!  what  solace  is  there  in  its  very 
sound!  Ob,  how  that  blessed  asylam  fer  the 
ipoimded  spirit  encloses  widiin  its  sacred  circle 
all  that  is  comforting,  and  sweet,  and  holy  4 
'Tis  there  that  the  soul  coils  itself  up  and 
nestles  like  the  dove  in  its  own  downiness, 
eoRScioas  diat  everything  around  breathes  of 
peaice,'  secmity,  and  love.  Home  I  hencefor- 
ward^ I  was  to  have  none,  until,  through  many, 
tnway  years  of  toil  and  misery,  I  should  erea^ 
one- for  mysel£  Henceforth,  the  word  must 
bring  to  me  .only  the  bitterness  of  regret--^ 
henceforth  I  was  to  associate  with  hundreds  who 
had-'that  temple  in  which  to  consecrate  thetr 
hMsehoM  afiiMJtionb— but  was,  mysd^  doomed 
to  b^  unowtied,  unloved,  and  homeless. 

ii^r  iMuit  to   go  bome,*^  I  blubbered  forth 


JMfii'Ai^,  tw«  ,  9.mnM^  §9 


sti^aHAi^MtPrf;l^  thtii  taieidenfc  k4» 

^#1019^  l9fttlii-w]#l<S^g  Mr*  Boot.  I  wust 
bi^ /t^i^xta  «tr«iige  figure.  I  was  tabu^n  jbom 
Biy  4iHr^'Bi  In  a'  hiuTy»  and»  thougb  my  «Iothi}s 
Hi^pe.qilite  new,  my  faee  entitled  me  ta  rank 
2PK>iig them^di  vitiqperated  unwashed.  When 
ai^W  Im^  haa  very  dirty  haadiy  with  wUch 
haniks  bbdirlyr  tearful  &ce^  it  moat  >  be 
oonlesaedi  that  grief  does  not,  in  his  person^ 
appear! under  a  very  lovely  form;  ThaiffirM 
fanpresmon  that  I  made  on  him  who  was/ fd 
hddf  almost'  everything  that  oould  jconstitifiba 
myr^buppineas  in  his  power,  was  the  >^«eay 
reMeirQe^,:0f  favourable.  My  eontinued  iteration 
oi::}^f:l  i^w^t  to  go  home,"  was  anything,  hot 
p)ea«mg!  to  the  pedagogue.  The  sentence  itself 
isi  sot:  music  to  a  man  keeping  a  boardingi* 
scboel^.^  Wth4be  intuitive  perceptiofi  of  diiM^ 
hilod^rihlvoui^  my,  tears,,  my  .heart  iftd&nowf 
ledgM^tas-eiieaiy*  ]  What^n^  oonduotovfSaidM 
biH^>d{d^tend^to  softiBn  Jhift  ftelinga  towanb 
me.  I  did  <not  uiAkrataiul  tbejd^^ 
dtmtndaifsitimu-bUt  Ika^fv  that  Iwas^ias al eap- 


d 


70  BATTLINy   THE    REEFER. 

tire^  bound  hand  and  foot,  and  delirered  over 
to  a  foreign  bondage.  The  interview  between 
tiie  contracting  parties  was  short,  and  when 
over,  my  conductor  departed  without  deigning 
to  bestow  the  smallest  notice  upon  the  most 
important  personage  of  this  history.  I  was 
then  rather  twitched  by  the  hand,  than  led,  by 
Mr.  Root,  into  the  middle  of  his  capacious 
school-room,  and  in  the  midst  of  more  than  two 
hundred  and  fifty  boys :  my  name  was  merely 
mentioned  to  one  of  the  jimior  ushers,  and  the 
master  left  me.  Well  might  I  then  apply  that 
blundering,  Examiner^be-praised  line  of  Keaf  s 
to  myself  for  like  Ruth, 

"  I  stood  all  tears  among  the  alien  corn.*' 

A  few  boys  came  and  stared  at  me,  but  I 
attracted  the  kindness  of  none.  There  can  be 
no  doubt  but  that  t  was  somewhat  vulgar 
in  my  manners,  and  my  carriage  was  certainly 
quite  unlike  that  of  my  companions.  Some  of 
them  even  jeered  me,  but  I  regarded  them  not 
A  real  grief  is  armour-proof  against  ridicule. 
In  a  short  time,  it  being  six  o'clock,  the  supper 


l^ 


J*??^^r^;?«K/4¥ff»»- 


again  to  the'  left  for  an  explanation,  pedagogue 
there  had  stripped  my  round  of  bread  of  all  the 
crust  I  cared  not  then  for  this  double  robbery, 
but  having  put  the  liquid  before  me  incau- 
tiously to  my  lips,  sorrowful  as  I  was,  I  cared 
for  that  Joe  Brandon  never  served  me  so.  I 
drank  that  evening  as  little  as  I  ate. 


iiAihHLfK,''  4ft«  muHKA.  73 


...1-;. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

I  prore  to  be,  not  one  in  a  thousand,  but  one  in  a 
({uarter  of  that  number,  to  whom  no  quarter  was 
shown — In  spite  of  my  entreaties  I  am  evil  entreate49 
and  am  not  only  placed  on  the  lowest  form,  but 
made  excessively  uncomfortable  on  my  seat  of 
honour. 

Heroes,  statesmen,  philosophers,  must  bend  to 
circumstances,  and  so  must  little  boys  at  board- 
ing-schooL  I  went  to  bed  with  the  rest,  and, 
like  the  rest,  had  my  bedfellow.  Miserable  and 
weary  was  that  night  to  my  in&nt  heart  When 
I  found  I  could  do  so  unobserved,  I  buried  my 
fBice  in  the  pillow,  and  wept  with  a  perfect  pas- 
sion of  wretchedness.  Never  shall  I  forget 
that  bitter  night  of  tears.     It  is  singular  that  I 

VOL.   I.  E 


74  KATTLIN,  THE   EXSFKB. 

did  not  weep  long  for  myselt  The  mournful 
images  that  arose  before  me,  and  <lemaii£kd 
each,  as  it  came,  its  tribute  of  grie(  ceased 
soon  to  be  connected  with  my  own  indiyidual 
suffering.  My  own  abandonment  and  isola- 
tion no  longer  affepted  me.  But  I  &neied  my 
nurse  was  ill — that  my  foster-brother  was  lost 
in  the  streets,  and  wandering,  hungry  and  in 
rags-~my  fancy  even  imaged  to  me  Brandon 
having  met  with  some  accident,  and  pitifully 
calling  in  vidn  for  his  little  Ralph  to  run  and 
fetch  mother.  It  was  these  fond  imaginings 
that  gave  me  the  intense  agony  that  kept  me 
wakeful  till  the  morning  dawned— and  the  first 
streak  of  light  that  appeared  through  the  win- 
dow, heralded  me  to  peace  and  sleep. 

I  had  a  hard,  a  cruel  life  at  that  school. 
When  I  lived  with  my  nurse,  the  boys  in  the 
street  used  to  beat  me  because  I  was  too  miieh 
of  the  gentleman,  and  now  the  yomig  gentlemen 
thrashed  me  for  not  coming  up  to  their  8tei4- 
ard  of  gentility.  I  saw  a  tyrant  in  evefy 
urchin  that  was  stronger  than  myself  and  a 
'deriderin  those  that  were  weaken    The  n^t 


Jtionmg  aAtet  mj^camval,  a  fellow  a  little  bigger 
■tlMi;  -myself  came  .up,  and  standing  before  me, 
'gttfio  mefvery:  deliberately  as  hard  a  slap  in  the 
fiioe  as  his  8tpei^:tfa  would  permit  Half  crying 
widi  the  pain^  and  yet  not  wishing  to  be  thongbt 
^^utorelBome,  I  asked»  with  good-natured  humi- 
lity, "whedier  that  was  done  in  jest  or  in  earnest. 
The  Kttle  insolent  replied,  in  his  school-boy 
wit,  ^betwixt and  between."  I  couldn't  stand 
-  liiat;  my  passion  and  my  fist  rose  together, 
and  hitting  my  of^ressor  midway  between  the 
eyes,  ^  There's  my  betwixt  and  between,"  aaid 
L-  His  nose  began  to  Ueed,  and  when  I  went 
down  into  the  schoolrroom,  the  '^new  boy" 
had  his  hands  wdl  wanned  with  the  ruler  for 
fighting. 

'   Alas  !  the  first  year  of  my  academic  Ufe  was 

'   Hmeof  unqualified  wretchedness.     For  the  two 

or  diree  initiatory  months,  uncouth  in  speech, 

and  ivvlgar  in  mien,  with  no  gilded  toy,  rich 

plma-eake,  or  mintHaew  shilling  ito  conciliate, 

/i'^was  despised  and  ridiculed  ;  and  when  it  was 

iaioertaitied  l>y  wy  own  confession,  that  I  was 

^tfae  soiLibf  aiday-laboorer,  I  was  dunned  by  the 

e2 


^8  itAffLfk,  f Ae  Jiittti. 

iristcctatic  progeny  of  butoh^,  liutti-dtajpeife, 
^A  hatters.  It  took,  at  least,  a  haU-do2^ti  Mf- 
^tigs  to  cure  me  of  the  belief  that  Jofeeph*  Bf  aii- 
doli  and  his  wife  were  my  parents.  It  wad  th^ 
shortest  road  to  convictioii,  arid  Mt.  Rodt 
prided  himself  upon  short  cuts  in  impi^rtftig 
knowledge.  I  assure  my  readers  they  wCtfe 
severe  ones.  *    ' 

'  Mr.  Root,  the  pedagogue  of  this  immentte 
School,  which  was  situated  in  the  vidnity  of  I^ 
Kngton,  was  a  very  stout  and  rery  banderoiDn^ 
man,  of  about  thirty.  He  had  formerly  been 
a'  subordinate  where  he  now  commanded,  aiMl 
his  good  looks  had  gained  him  the  hand  of^  Ant 
widow  of  his  predecessor.  He  was  very  florid, 
with  a  cold  dark  eye ;  but  his  face  was  the  irest 
^jhysieal  that  I  ever  beheld.  From  the  wUte, 
IbW  forehead,  to  the  well-formed  chin,  there ^irs 
n6t!hing  on  which  the  gazer  could  rest  tbiit 
'fepoke  of  intellectuality.  There  was  **  specula- 
tion in  his  eye,"  but  it  was  the  calculation  *i)f 
ferthitigs.  There  was  a  pure  ruddiness  infais 
cf^^'ek,  but  it  was  the  glow  of  matter,  not  tlilit^of 
ttiiiid.    His  moutH  was  well  formed,  yet^jravsed 


up^^rit^  lUi  expr^ion  of  i^ungled  yamty.ioid 
8^Ya4l?r.  J^  w^:  very  robust^  and  liis.ar^ 
es^fce^dipgly  power^  With  all  these  persomd 
^vai^ttage^  he  Jbiad  a  shrill,  girlish  voice,  thi^t 
11^94^  him,  in  the.  execution  of  his  crueltieii 
a^4^fl(l)^  liicleoys.  I  believe^  and  I  makeitbe 
lm^rtio^.  in  all ,  honesty,  that  he  received  a  sen* 
sual  enjoyment  by  the  act  of  inflicting  ponish- 
«ftent»,.'He<att^aded  to  no  department  o|,the 
aflbool  but  the  flageUative.  He  walked  ,.in 
abou^  twelve  o^clock,  had  all  on  the  Ust  placed 
09. a  form,  his  man-servant  was  called  in,  the 
lads  horsed,  and  be,  in  general,  fbu^d  ample 
i^upemeat  till  one.  He  used  to  make  it  his 
boasft  ibal  he  never  allowed  aay  of  his  ushers 
la  .'pmlish,  .The  hypocrite!  the  epicure!,.!^ 
Btflewed'^ll  that  luxury  for  himself.  Add  to 
.tf]is,vrthat  he  was  very  ignorant  out  of  tb^ 
Tkitof^t Assistant,  and  that  he  wrote. a  most 
abominably,  good  hand,  (that  usual  sign,  ,o(a 
^ipQmMWd.;tri9^fOccupied  mind,)  and.noiyjpu 
^ha^  ac  vepry  iair  picture  o£  Mjr.  ^Root^  IMyi^ 
riiai^(4^he,wf^.SL,m(^t\  ^ru^  j:yrant ;  yet , J^,efo 


i 


78  BATTLIX,    tWE    RESFB1I. 

say  this  for  my  tnfiister's  humanity,  tiiat  I  had 
been  two  days  at  school  before  I  was  flogged*; 
asid  then  it  was  for  the  enormity  of  not  knowing 
my  own  name.  ^^  Rattlin/*  said  the  ped»« 
gogue.  No  reply.  "  Master  Rattlin,''  in  a 
shriller  tone.  Answer  there  was  none.  ^^  Mash 
ter  Ralph  Rattlin.''  Many  started,  but  «  Ralph 
Brandon"  thought  it  concerned  not  him.  But 
it  did  indeed.  I  believe  that  I  had  been  told 
my  new  name,  but  I  had  forgotten  it  in  my 
grief,  and  now  in  grief  and  in  pain  I  was  again 
taught  it  When,  for  the  first  time,  in  reality^ 
I  tasted  that  acrid  and  bitter  fruit  of  the  tree 
of  knowledge,  old  Isaac*s  (my  soldier-schoot- 
master)  mock  brushings  were  remembered  witli 
hieartfelt  regretr 

At  that  time,  the  road  to  learning  was  strewed 
nether  with  flowers  nor  palm  leaves,  but  with 
the  instigating  birch.  The  schoolmaster  had 
not  yet  gone  abroad,  but  he  flogged  most  dili^ 
gently  at  home,  and  verily  I  partook  amply 
of  that  diligence.  I  was  flogged  full,  and! 
was  flogged  iksting ;  when  'I  deserved  il^'  a^i 
when  I  did  not;  I  was  flogged  for  speaking  tik) 


loudly,  and  for  not  ^peaking  loudly  enough^  and 
for  holding  my  tongue.  Moreover,  one  mom* 
ing  I  rode  the  horse  without  the  Baddki  beoauae 
ay  &ce  was  dirty,  and  the  next,  because  I  pes- 
tered the  maid^servant  to  wash  it  clean*  I  was 
flogged  beeause  my  shoes  were  dirty,  and  again 
flogg^  ^)6<^^i^  I  attempted  to  wipe  them  deim 
with  my  pocketohandkerchiet  I  was  flpgg€|d 
for  Ikying,  and  for  staying  in  the  schoolropm 
and  not  going  out  to  play.  The  bigger  boys 
used  to  beat  me,  and  I  was  then  flogged  for 
fighting.  It  is  hard  to  say  for  what  I  was  not 
flowed.  Things,  the  most  contradictory,  aU 
tmtded  to  one  end,  and  that  was  my  own*  At 
length,  be  flogged  me  into  serious  ill-bealth^  and 
then  he  staid  his  hand,  and  I  found  relief 
on  a  bed  of  rickness.  Even  now,  I  look  back  to 
those*  days  of  persecution  with  horror.  Those 
were  the  times  of  lar^  sduwls,  rods  steeped  in 
brine^*  (aottud  faeti)  intestine  insurrections,  the 
bufiping  of  obnoxious  ushers,  and  the  ^<  barring 
biil^t  of  ^/rannical  masters.  A  school  of  this 
diescEipticni  was  a  complete  place*  of  torment  for 
the  orphan,  the  unfriended,  and  the  d^s^ted. 


Lads  then'  titaid  at  school  till  they  *wtsm  e 
and  even  twenty,  and  fogging  flbiirishedi'^' 
Its  atrocious  oppression*  :      •  ^'i. 

Let  no  one  deem  these  details  to  be  pn^rile. 
As  the  readef  proceeds,  he  wiH  find  fieusts  fike 
these  afford  him  a  psychological  study*  He 
wiU  see  how  a  perverse  mind  was  formed,  &t  a 
iloble  one  ruined :  how  all  the  evil  pasmnls 
wer^  implanted,  and  by  what  means  their 
growth  was  encouraged.  He  will  trace  by  what 
causes  d  poetical  temperament  was  driTai 
allhbst  to  insanity;  he  has  already  seen  how  the 
demon  of  sudden  anger  got  an  unrelinquishing 
hold  of  a  comer  of  my  heart;  and  he  wiH  now 
see  by  whom,  and  in  what  manner,  the  seeds 
of  worse  vices  were  sown  in  a  bosom,  that  was 
perhaps  made  to  entertain  only  the  noblest  feel- 
ingSy  or  soften  to  the  most  tender  sentiments. 
This  is  not  vanity.  I  know  what  a  wreck  I 
am.  Allow  me  the  poor  consolation  of  contem- 
plating what  I  might  have  been.  There  is  piety 
in  the  thought  There  is  in  it  a  silent  homage 
to  the  goodness  of  the  Creator,  in  acknow- 
ledging that  he  gave  me  purity  and  high  capa- 


**TTW^  J«ifM5  ,Ji«W?^ 


r^l 


(Deilun^Jtt^sone.liiiture  time,  if.  not  hercv  here- 
after,  that  soul  may  again  adore  him,  in  all  the 
40fifK^  parity  in  which  he  bestowed  it»  ere  I 
•)]|?^! W  a  manner,  compelled  into  sin..  I  .^9 
i«|(ter  years  of  suffering,  no  more  than  a  shell, 
,:opcct=hQwtiful,  but  now  corroded  and  shattered, 
u.tbli^.is  oast  upon  the.  sands.  At  times  I  think, 
^tik^  no^aU  the-iormOT  bright  tints  are  de%Qd, 
«i^|ul  that  if  the  breath'of  kindness  be  Useath^ 
r*^tQ.  it  gently,  it  is  still  able  to  discour^  in 
^let^n^   some  few   notes   of   ^^  most  exceU^^ 

;/.'.  tTfa»  may  be  real  vanity.  But  why  ^i^d 
>rl,.ya{^)ear  masked  before  the  public  ?  I  a^l 
cV^n.  I  have  been  assured  of  it  by  hundreds 
.^^o>bave  more  vanity  than  myself  Ve;ri)y 
.>l^^pu^^  ^  know. 


* . . » 1 


■  If 


£  O 


«e 


■wi, 


RAlfrUK,    THE  AmEWEIL 


Vli'        .      >.:...■ 


'■■     .:)■  ■  »;.?;:-.. 


.-  ->  ■;  ■  !:•.: 


i« 


:ii 


♦  .  .'.  ' 


CHAPTER  X. 


I   grow  egotistical^  aud  being  pleased  with  znysflf^ 
,  give  good  advice— A  visit ;  and  a  strange  jumble 

of  tirades^  tears,   tutors^  tenderness^   and   a   tea- 

kettle. 


-t'« 


itT  me  now  describe  the  child  of  nine  yeitils 
and  a  half  old,  that  was  forced  to  undergo  thid 
terrible  ordeal.  We  will  suppose  that,  by  the 
aid  of  the  dancing-master  and  the  drill-sergeant, 
I  have  been  cured  of  my  vulgar  gait,  and  that 
my  cockney  accent  has  disappeared.  Children 
of  the  age  above  mentioned,  soon  assimilate 
iheir  tone  and  conversation  with  those  around 
them.  I  was  tall  for  my  years,  with  a  very 
light  and  active  frame,  and  a  countenance,  the 


RATthlSi   THE   itSltFEB.  88 

complexion  of  which  was  of  the  moet  unstained 
fumess.  My  hair  lights  glossy,  and  naturally, 
but  not  universally,  curling*  To  make  it  ap- 
pear in  ringlets  all  over  my  head,  would  have 
been  the  effect  of  art;  yet,  without  art  it  was 
wavy,  and  at  the  temples,*  forehead,  and  the 
back  of  the  head,  always  in  full  circlets.  My 
fflice  presented  a  perfect  oval,  and  my  features 
were  classically  regular.  I. had  a  good  natiural 
colour,  the  intensity  of  which  ebbed  and  flowed 
with  every  passing  emotion.  I  was  one  of 
those  dangerous  subjects  whom  anger  always 
makes  pale.  My  eyes  were  decidedly  blue, 
everything  else  that  may  be  said  to  the  con- 
trary notwithstanding.  The  whole  expression 
of  my  countenance  was  very  feminine^  but  not 
8f)lt.  It  was  always  the  seat  of  some  sentiment 
or  pasfiion^  and  in  its  womanly  re^neme^t  gave 
to  me  an  appearance  of  constitutional  delicacy, 
and  effeminacy,  that  I  certsanly  did  not  possess. 
I.,wi^  decidedly  a  very  beautiful  child,  and  a 
ebild  that  aeei|i/ed  formed  to  kindle  and  returp 
^  mother^n  love^  yet  the  maternal  caress  never 
blessed  me;  but  I  was  abandoned  to  the  tender 


mereiefi  of  a  number  of  he-beings,  by  inaoy  pf 
wJaom  my  vivacity  was  checked^  my  epirithiim* 
bledi  and  my  fl^  cruelly  lacerated.  Mothers  J 
do.  you  know  how  few  are  the  years  ot  happir 
ness  allotted  to  the  longest  and  most  fortunalse 
life  ?  Do  not  embitter,  then,  so  large  a  portion 
of  it  as  playful  infancy,  by  abandoning  your 
ci&pring  to  the  hireling  and  the  stranger.  If 
yiMir  children  must  away  from  you,  let  them 
know  that  they  have  still  a  home ;  not  merdy 
a  retreat  composed  of  walls  and  a  roof,  and  of 
maidservants  and  maid-servants;  all  these 
make  not  a  home.  The  diild's  real  home  is  in 
his  mother's  arms. 

:  .1  'dwell  thus  particularly  on  my  school'-boy 
Itfei  in  order,  in  the  first  place,  to  prepare  the 
reader  for  the  singular  events  that  follow ;  and, 
in  the  second,  (and  which  forms  by  far  the  most 
important  consideration,  as  I  trust  I  am  be^ 
lieved,  and  if  truth  deserves  credence,  believed 
I  am,)  to  caution  parents  from  trusting  to  the 
specious  representations  of  any  schoolmaster, 
to  induce  them  to  examine  carefully  and  pa- 
tiently into  every,  detail  of  the  establishment, 


br  OMj^tnfiy  tecdm^  a  pbrty  td  a  serieis  of  «nud^ 
ti^  diaiti  may  te'eak  flie  spirit^  and,  perlnfi^ 
fihoffen^'the  life  of  thor  chfldren.'  Unfdrtu^ 
hiO^y,  ilie  most  promising  minds  are  tbose 
Aat  soonest  j^eld  to  the  eflbct  of  baxsh  diam- 
f/Smen'  The  phlegmatic,  the  dull,  and  the  c(rili«- 
teot-plaeer  vegetate  easily  through  this  state  of 
^bolioik  Tbe  blight  that  will  destroy  4ie 
fOtf^  passes  ever  harmlessly  over  the  tough  and 
^arth^^nbracing  weed.  ! ' 

I  staid  at  Mt.  Roofs  school  for  veiy  nearly 
thr^  years,  and  I  shall  divide  that  memorable 
period  into  three  distinct  epodis — the  despaod- 
ing,  the  devotional,  and  the  mendacious*  After 
i  had  been  flogged  into  uncertain  health,- 1  was 
confined^  for  at  least  six  weeks,  to  my  roolti, 
and,  when  I  was  convalescent,  it  was  hinted 
by  the  surgeon,  in  not  unintelligible  terms,  to 
Mr.  Root,  that  if  I  did  not  experience  the 
gentlest  treatment,  I  might  lose  my  life ;  which 
would  have  been  very  immaterial  to  Mr.  Root, 
had  it  not  been  a  mathematical  certainty  that 
he  would  lose  a  good  scholar  at  the  same  time. 
By-tfae-by,    the  meaning  that  a  schoolmaster 


86  KATtttyf,   TITE  «JKXl>£ft* 

attaches  to  tiie  words  ^good  sdu^Uur^^*'  10  one 
for  whom  he  is  paid  well  Thus  Iwas-  etnphfr: 
ticedly  a  good  scholar ;  no  doubt  hia  ieiy  beft; 
I 'was  taught  every  thing'^at  least  his  bill  said' 
sa  He  provided  everything  for  me,  and  I' 
staid  with  him  during  the  holidays.  He,  tfaerc^' 
fore,  ceased  to  confer  upon  me  his  cruel  atten* 
tions;  and  abandoned  me  to  a  neglect  hardly 
less  cruel.  The  boys  were  strictly  enjoined 
to  leave  me  alone,  and  they  obeyed.  I  found 
a  solitude  in  the  midst  of  society. 

A  loneliness  came  over  my  young  spirit  I  was 
a^weary,  and  I  drooped  like  tiie  tired  bird,  that 
alights  on  the  ship,  ^  far,  £u*  at  sea."  As  that 
poor  bird  folds  its  wings,  and  sinks  into  peac^ul 
oblivion,  I  could  have  folded  my  arms,  and 
have  laid  down  to  die  with  pleasure.  My  heart 
exhausted  itself  with  an  intense  longing  for  a 
companion  to  love.  It  wasted  away  all  its  sub^ 
stance  in  ffinging  out  fibres  to  catch  hold  of 
that  widi  which  it  might  beat  in  unison.  As 
turn  the  tendrils  of  the  vine  hither  and  thither 
to  dasp  something  to  adorn,  and  to  repay  sup- 
port  by  beauty,  so  I  wore  out  my  young  ener- 


EATTtfMI,  THIS  M%Tr%M*  87- 

gies^  ill!  af  truUI^w  search  for  symptthy;  I  had 
n^Atng*  to  lot&m0i  though  I  would  liave  kyved 
mamy,  if  I  had  dared  There  were  many  sw^eet 
faces  aiftcHig  my:  school4eUowB»  to  which  I^ 
ttmed  with  a  biigt&g  look,  and  a  tearful  eye* 
How  menial  I  have  been  to  procure  a  notieei 
a  glasice  of  kindness!  I  had  nothing  to  give 
wherewitfi  to  bribe  affection  but  services  and 
UbouT)  and  those  were  dther  refused,  or  per^ 
hiqps  accepted  with  scorn.  I  was  the  only 
pariah  among  two  hundred  and  fifty.  There 
was  a  mystery  and  an  obloquy  attached  to  me, 
and  the  master  had,  by  liis  interdiction,  com-* 
ptetely  put  me  without  the  pale  of  society.  I 
now  said  my  lessons  to  the  ushers  ¥rith  indi£. 
ference— if  I  acquitted  myself  ill,  I  was  un*- 
punished — if  well,  unnoticed.  My  spirits  be^ 
gan  to  give  way  fast,  and  I  was  beginning  to 
feel  the  pernicious  patronage  of  the  servants. 
They  would  call  me  off  the  play-ground,  on 
whicb  I  moped,  send  me  on  some  message,  or 
employ  me  in  some  light  service.  All  this 
was  winked  at  by  the  master,  and  as  for  the 
mistress,  she  never  let  me  know  that  it  oc- 


$8  RATTLIN.    TUK    KEEFEft. 

curred  tp  her  that  I  was  in  existence.  It  was 
erideut  that  Mr.  Root  had  no  objection  to  .all 
this,  for,  in  consideration  of  the  money  paid 
to  him  for  my  education,  -he  was  graciously 
pleased  to  permit  me  to  fill  the  office  of  his 
Hitchen-boy.  But,  before  I  became  utterly 
degraded  into  the  menial  of  the  menials,  a  for* 

■        ■       1  ■ .  *  c 

tun^te  occurrence  happened,  that  put  an  end 
to  my  culinary  servitude.  To  the  utter  sur- 
prise oi  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Root,  who  expected 
nothing  of  the  kind,  a  lady  came  to  see  me. 
What  passed  between  the  parties,  before  I  was 
ushered  into  the  parlour  appropriated  to  vi- 
^itors^  I  know  not;  it  was  some  time  before  I 
was  brought  in,  as  preparatory  ablutions  were 
made,  and  my  clothes  changed.  Wlien  I  en- 
tered, I  found  that  it  was  ^'  the  lady."  I 
remember  that  she  was  very  superbly  dressed, 
and  1  thought,  too,  the  most  beautiful  appa- 
rition  that  I  had  ever  beheld.  The  scene  that 
.  took .  place  was  a  little  singular,  and  I  i^hall 

■ 

relate  it  at  fiill. , 

'■  •         '         '  .  ■ ' . 

^      As  I  have  rigidly  adhered  to  trutli,  I  have 
been  compelled  to  state  what  I  have  to  say  in 


i 


EATTLIK,    THE    RBE^JCR.  89 

a  fonn  almost  entirely  narrative;  and  nave  wl 
limtated  th(^  great  bistorians,  who  put  lonj^ 
speeches  into  the  mouths  of  their  kmgs  tilid 
generals,  veiy  much  suited  to  the  occasions  uiii- 
doubtediy,  and*  deficient  only  in  one  poiht*-i 
tiiat  is,  accuracy.  I  have  told  only  of  facts 
and  impressions,  and  not'  given  speeches  ^t 
it  would  ttave  been  impossible  for  me  to  hKve 
remembered  Yet,  in  this  interview  there  wds 
something  so   striking  to   my  young  imagltliBl- 

tion,   that  my  memory  preserved  many  seh- 

'i .  ■       •- .  .  _  '  ' J ■ 

tences,    and  aQ  the  substance,   of  what  took 

j>lace.     There  was  wine  and  cake  upon  the 

table,   and  the  lady  looked  a  little  fluttered. 

Mr.  Root  was  trying  with  a  forty  Chestein- 

^eldean  power  to  look  amiable.     Mrs.  Root 

was  very  fidgetty.     As  I  appeared  at  the  door 
»»''■■.  < 

timorously,  the  lady  said  to  me  without  rising, 

but  extending  her  delicate  white  hand,  ^  Come 

here  to  me,  Ralph ;  do  you  not  know  me  7* 

I  could  get  no  £eulher  than  the  middle,  of 

the  room,  where  I  stood  still,  and  burst  out 

into  a  passion  of  tears.     Those  sweet  tones  of 

tenderness,  the  first  I  had  heard  for  nine  months. 


thrilled  like  fire  through  my  ^hole  frasdei  It 
was  a  feeling  so  intensoi  that,  had  it  not  been 
agony,  it  woidd  have  been  bliss. 

<<  Good  God  r  said  she,  deeply  agitated ; 
"  my  poor  boy,  why  do  you  cry?^ 

•*  Because — because  you  are  so  kind,"  said  I, 
rushing  forward  to  her  extended  arms;  and, 
falling  on  my  knees  at  her  feet,  I  buried  my 
face  in  her  lap,  and  felt  all  happiness  amidst 
my  sobbings.  She  bent  over  me,  and  her  tears 
trickled  upon  my  neck.  This  did  not  last 
long.  She  placed  me  upon  my  feet,  and  draw:- 
ing  me  to  her  side,  kissed  my  cheeks,  and  my 
eyes,  and  my  forehead.  Her  countenance  soon 
became  serene,  and  turning  to  my  master,  she 
said  quietly,  "  This,  sir,  is  very  singular." 

<<  Yes,  ma*am.  Master  Rattlin  is  very  singular. 
All  clever  boys  are.  He  knows  already  his 
five  declensions,  and  the  four  conjugations,  ao 
tive  and  passive.  Come,  Master  Rattlin,  dedine 
for  the  lady  the  adjective  felix— come,  begin, 
nominative  hie  et  hsec  et  hoc  felix." 

^*  I  don't  know  anything  about  it,"  said  I, 
doggedly*. 


m^kSftf4V9  ^SlE  ^XES^AIW  »] 


• !  '<  ht(934  ]ft)tt  vhef  ^aft:  a  ^JNtgieiiftr  diikl^?!^ 
stmedAe  jtedagDgue^  with  a  most  awkwud 
attempt  at  a  smila. 

\HT\»  i^iQigularity  to  which  I  allude^''  said 
the  lady,  ^  is  his  finding  kindness  so  singular." 

i  f.  Kiiid  I  Uess  you^  my  dear  madam,"  said 
they  both  togeAer;  ^^you  can't  conceive  how 
much  we  bve  the  little  dear." 

<<It  was  but  yesteiday,"  said  Mrs.  Root^ 
^  that  I  iwas  telUng  the  lady  of  Mr.  Aldennaa 
Jenkins — we  have  the  five  Jenkinses,  ma^am--^ 
that  Master  RattHn  was  the  sweetest,  genteel* 
est,  aad  beautifullest  boy  in  the  whole  schooL^' 
^  It  was  but  yesterday,"  said  Mr.  Root, 
^  that  I  was  saying  to  Doctor  Duncan,  (our 
respected  rector,  madam,)  that  Master  Rattlin 
had- evinced  such  an  uncommon  talent,  that  we 
mighty  by*and»by,  expect  the  greatest  things 
from  him.  Not  yet  ten  months  with  me, 
madam.  Already  in  Phsedrus  *^  the  rule  of 
threes— and  Ins  French  master  gives  the  best 
account  of  him.  He  certidnly  has  not  begun 
te  speak  it  yet,  though  he  has  made  a  vast 
progress  in   the   French  language.     But  it  is 


OlHKIoiie^y  master  of  thelangM^ge,  b^|l^j|j^)[ 
attempt  to  conyerse  in  it.  And  149^;dan<^fi)D^ 
my  dear  madam— O^  it  would  doyoi^r,  h^f^ 
good,  to  see  him  dance.  Such  grac^.  ai^nj^ 
ela^ticiby,  and  such  happiness  in  hift  manner.  ,^'^ 
A  pause —and  then  they  exclaimed,  .togf^th^ 
with  a  long-drawn,  sentimental  sigh,  fSAild:]P)9 
both  love,  him  .80."  .  ^         r.^r.  / 

,:^*I  am  glad  to  hear  so  good,  an  aooount^.of 
him,"  said  the  lady.    ^<  I  hope,  Ralph,  that  ypp 
loye  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Root^  for  they  seem  yery 
ki^dtoyou." 
,.'«No^Idon'L"  ./. 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Root  lifted  their  hands  imploi^ 
isigly  to  heaven. 

.  *^  Not  love  me !"  they  both  exclaimed  toge^ 
Aer,..with  a  tone  of  heartfelt  surprise  and 
wounded  sensibility,  that  would  have  gone^  lar 
U^  have  made  the  fortune  of  a  sentimental  aoto^. 

,  <^  Come  .bere>  sir,  directly,"  said  Mr.  RoQii. 
<<  Look  me  full  in  the  face,  sir.  You  are  jt 
singular,  boy,  yet  I  dtd  think  you  loved, me. 
Doo't  be.irightenedy  Ralph,  I  would  not  giy^e 


ililWr*^^^  'Nb*-  teU  rte,  iny  (tear  boyi''  |rtii 

m  the  terrible  to  the  tcMd^ 
*^tt!l  riif^tny'deto'  boy,  why  yon  fimcy  fim  dh 
i^^orh'tb^.  You  see,  madam,  that  I  eneou^ 
rage^%ft9Hi5^rity'Mind  like,  at  all  times,  the  trtHtt 
fly**bfr'»pike!i  ©lit  Why  doii*t  you  love  toe, 
RUffti,^  dear  ?^  pindiing  my  ear  with  a  Sfnt^ftf 
violeDoe,  that  was  meant  for  gracious  playfi^ 
hess'ltt  tt^  eyes  of  the  lady,  and  an  intelligible 
Wtt  Ibr  myaelfi    I  was  silent  ^-^'^^ 

^•"Cottiei  Ralph,  speak  yout  mind  freely.  Niif 
one  will  do  you  any  harm  for  it,  I  am  smtt^J 
Why  don't  you  love    Mr.    Root?*   said  the 

I  was  ashamed  to  speak  of  my  flc^gings,  iUM 
I  'looked  iqpon  his  late  iedbandonment  and  lieg- 
h^  as  kindness.  I  knew  not  what  to  say,  y^ 
I-'kae^-I  hated  him  most  cordially.  I  staln^ 
itte^ml,  Bttid  at  last  I  brought  out  tiiis  unfort#i 
niite'-seiitence^  <^  Because  he  has  got  sudb  an 
^IjV  nasty  voice.** '    '  •       •'    i     i  * 

>  Miv  and  Mrs.  R^t  burst  out  into  a  \0t%f 
Mdi  fer  the  time#  *  awturentlv  unebntrottiiai^ 


M 


94  KATTLIN,    the    REfiPEI^. 

laughter.  When  it  bad  BOmewbat'subBiiIed,')^ 
sehoohnaster  exclaimed^  ^^There,  madaln,  "dkdtiFt 
I  tell  ypikhe  was  a  sit^gularlad?  Come{iete,'j^dii 
little  "Ailg;' I  must  give  you  a  kiss  for  your  dro)^ 
lery.''  And  the  monster  hauled  me  to  him,  0oA 
when  his  face  was  close  to  mine,  I  saw  a  woffith 
gkre  in  hi9  eyes,  tihat  made  me  fear  that  be  was 
going  to  bite^^my  nose  o£  The  lady  did  not 
at  all  jpariicipate  id  the  joviality,  and,  as  it  is 
difficult  to  keep  up  mirth  entirely  upon  one'« 
own  resources,  we  were  beginning  to  be  a 
gloomy  party.  What  I  had  unconsciously  said 
respecting  my  master's  voice,  was  wormwood 
to  him.  He  had  long  been  the  butt  of  all  his 
acquaintance  respecting  it,  and  what  followied 
was  the  making  that  unbearable  which  was 
before  too  bittier.  Many  questions  were  pitit 
by  the  visitor,  iMid  the  answers  appeared  to 
grow  more  and  tnore  unsatisfactory  as  th^y 
were  elicited.  The  lady  was  banning  to  look 
unhappy,  when  a  sudden  brightness  came-ovm* 
her  lovely  countenance,  and  with  the  most  po- 
lished and  kindly  tone,  die  asked  to  see  Mr. 
Roofs  own  children.     Mr.  Root  looked  silly, 


wdj,Jtt»4,R^  €}i^teSBed.     The  vapid  9^ 
i^qTOrQ?^.  jc^e  tluil;;^^  was  so  large 

A^^  it,]^Qai»ted  o£  the  number  of  two  hundiefi 
aoct  A^.  feU  spiritless  to  the  ground,  and  dia- 
>a]]qpQi^p^ment,  and  even  a  slight  shade  of  de- 
spmdei^c^.  caine  over  the  lady^s  features. 
.;  .^^Wliene  me^e  you^  Ralph,  when  I  came?' 
said  die ;  .^^  I  waited  for  you  long.'' 

^  I  was  being  washed,  and  putting  on  my 
second  best." 

<^  But  why  washed  at  this  time  of  day—and 
rwby  p^t  on  your  second  best  ?'' 

^S  Because  I  had  dirtied  my  hands,  and  my 
otherdotbes,  carrying  up  the  tearkettle  to  Mr« 
;Matthew^  room." 

>  Mr.  and  Mrs.    Root  again    held  up  their 
iiapde  in  astonisfament. 

^  And  who  is  Mr.  Matthews?"  continued 
th^lady. 

A  .'^*  $ecoBd  Latin  master,  and  ill  arbed  in  the 
garret'* 

•<  f^i  Ffom. whence  did  you  take  the  tea-kettle  T 
il^Erom  the  kitchen.'"      - 
ij^  And.wbogat©  ityou?'     . 


00  KATTUV)   TKE   9KEFX|U 

<<  Mollyi  one  of  the  maidAT    ■       ■       ,    ■  r. 

At  thi8  disclosure  Mr.  Root  jdl  ind^^lbi 
greatest  of  all  possible  rages,  and,  as  ve^likf 
the  figure  of  speech  called  a  climax,  we  nuail 
say,  that  Mrs.  Root  (fell  into  a  much  greateb 
They  would  turn  the  hussey  out  of  the  hooM 
that  instant;  they  would  do  that^  they  would 
do  this,  and  they  would  do  the  other*  At 
length,  the  lady,  with  *calm  severity,  requested 
them  to  do  nothing  at  alL 

<^  There  has  been,"  said  she,  ^  some  mistake 
here.  There  is  nothing  very  wrong,  or  di^ 
graceful  in  Ralph  attending  to  the  wants  of 
his  sick  master,  though  he  does  lie  in  the  gar«- 
ret  I  would  rather  see  in  his  disposition  a 
sympathy  for  suffering  encouraged.  God 
knows,  there  is  in  this  world  too  much  of  the 
latter,  and  too  little  of  the  former.  Yet  I  cer- 
tainly think  that  there  could  have  been  a  less 
degrading  method  pointed  out  to  him  of 
showing  attention.  But  we  will  let  tbispa^i^ 
as  I  know  it  will  never  happen  again.*  You 
see,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Root,  that  thb  poor  .child 
is  rather  delicate  in  appearance;  he  is  much 


grown,  certsiiily;  il^iKA'iitore  t&iih  I^i»i{4cted, 
M^  SvMS^d^uf  li^  seems  h6A  sby  and  Akjefkod. 
l^'i^Bfffa'ho^  Ai^  you  had  been  yonrsel^^ 
WeMkiii \rith  a  fiflnfly.  A  tnotber  can  trust 'to 
tf^^^Mrfiter.  miougb  you  are  not  parents,  ^Si 
lMv«^'^biKn¥il'  a  pajnsnf  s  love.  I  hkve  to  doUbt 
ftW  yon  'xte  fend  <rf  children,— [*  Veiy,'  both'  W 
a%reaHi  zy—from  the  profession  you  htfve  choseiii 


'the  godmother  of  this  boy.  Alasf  1  kiii 
afraid  no  nearer  relation  will  ever  appear  fo 
(^hmfrhifti.  He  has  no  mother,  Mrs.  Root, 
wi&out  yra  will  be  to  him  as  one ;  and  I  coti- 
foT^^ybt,  sir,  to  let  the  ftitherless  find  in  the  j^re^ 
t^ij^;  a  &ther.  Let  him  only  meet  for  a  yekt 
i^r'two  witii  kindness,  and  I  will  cheerfully  tru^l 
ter'Providence  for  the  rest  TTiough  I  dete^  the 
^ifefekefry-  df  getting  up  a  scene,  I  wish  to  be  Jfe 
iittif^Tfeffrtre  as  I  can,  as,  I  am  sorry  to  ssty,"  irtore 
Uttto^si'^iftar  will  unavoidably  pass,  before  I  can 
i^  "BA^  poor  ybuth  again.     Let  me^  iat  thete 

tSlft)^'  r  cbiijure  you,  see  him  in  health  a!nd 

*  ■      .    ■      ' 

^^rfid6(^k    Wrfl  you  permit  me  noW  to  sajr 

toeWelI?'as  X  wfeh  to  say  a  few  wdrds  of  adieu 

'io'^  thy' Igdflsori,  afad  should  I  cry  6Ver  him  for 

VOL.   I.  F 


98  RATTLIX,    THE    REEFER. 

bis  mother's  sake,  you  know  that  a  lady  does 
not  like  to  be  seen  with  red  eyes." 

The  delicacy  of  this  sickly  attempt  at  plea- 
santry was  quite  lost  upon  the  scholastic  pair. 
They  understood  her  literally ;  and  Mrs.  Root 

began,  "  My  eye-water "      However,  leave 

was  taken,  and  I  was  left  with  the  lady.  She 
took  me  on  her  lap,  and  a  hearty  hug  we  had 
together.  She  then  rang  for  Molly.  She  spoke 
to  the  girl  kindly,  asked  no  questions  of  her  that 
might  lead  her  to  betray  her  employers,  but, 
giving  her  half-a-guinea  not  to  lose  sight  of  me 
in  the  multitude,  and,  to  prove  her  gratitude, 
never  to  suffer  me  again  to  enter  the  kitchen, 
she  promised  to  double  the  gratuity  when  she 
again  saw  me,  if  she  attended  to  her  request 
The  girl,  evidently  affected  as  much  by  her 
manner  as  her  gift,  curtsied  and  withdrew. 
While  she  stayed  at  the  school  she  complied  witk 
my  godmother's  request  most  punctually. 


BATTLIXy    THE    EEEFKR.  99 


CHAPTER  XL 

Containeth  a  lecture  on  love  from  a  personification  o  f 
lovelinesfl — and  showeth  that  superstition  has  its 
sweets  as  well  as  its  horrors — and  also  how  to  avoid 
the  infection  of  the  evil  eye. 

When  we  were  alone,  she  examined  me  carefully 
under  my  clothes,  to  ascertain  if  I  were  perfectly 
clean.  It  would  have,  perhaps,  been  for  me  a 
haj^y  circumstance,  if  Mr.  Root  had  flogged 
me  this  day,  or  even  a  fortnight  previously. 
The  marks  that  he  left  were  not  very  ephemeral. 
I  don't  know  whether  a  flogging  a  month  old 
would  not  equally  well  have  served  my  purpose. 
He  certainly  ^rrote  a  strong,  bold  hand,  in 
red  ink,  not  easily  obliterated.      However,  as 

F-2 


100        EATTLIK,  THE  REEFER. 

he  had  not  noticed  me  since  my  illness,  I  had 
no  marks  to  show. 

When  she  had  re-adjusted  my  dress,  she  hug- 
ged me  to  her  side,  and  we  looked,  for  a  long 
while,  in  each  other's  eyes  in  silence. 

^'  Ralph,"  said  she,  at  length,  forgetting  that 
the  fault  was  mutual,  ^^  do  you  know  that  it  is 
very  rude  to  look  so  hard  into  people's  faces; 
why  do  you  do  it,  ray  boy  ?' 

"  Because  you  are  so  very,  very,  very  pretty, 
and  your  voice  is  so  soft;  and — ^because  I  do 
love  you  so." 

"  But  you  must  not  love  me  too  much,  my 
sweet  child :  because  I  can't  be  with  you  to 
return  your  love." 

"  O  dear,  I'm  so  sorry;  because— because — if 
you  don't  love  me,  nobody  will.  Master  don't 
love  me  nor  the  ushers— nor  the  boys ;  and 
they  keep  calling  me  the  " 

'^  Hush,  Ralph !  hush,  my  poor  boy,"  said 
she,  colouring  to  her  very  forehead.  "  Never 
tell  me  what  they  call  you^  Little  boys  who 
call  names  are  wicked  boys,  and  very  false 
boys  too.    Hear  me,  Ralph  I    You  are  nearly 


BATTLTN,   THE    REEKEB»  10 1 

ten  years  old.  You  must  be  a  man,  and  not 
love  any  one  too  much — not  even  me — for  it 
maikes  people  very  unhappy  to  love  too  much. 
Do  you  understand  me,  Ralph  ?  You  must  be 
kmd  to  all,  and  all  will  be  kind  to  you :  but  it 
is  best  not  to  love  anything  violently — except- 
ing, Ralph,  Him  who  will  love  you  when  all 
hate  you — ^who  will  care  for  you  when  all  desert 
you — your  God  P 

.  "I  don't  know  too  much  about  that,"  was 
my  answer.  "Mr.  Root  tells  us  once  every 
week  to  trust  in  God,  and  that  God  will  protect 
the  innocent,  and  all  that :  and  then  he  flogs  me 
for  nothing  at  all,  though  I  trust  all  I  can ;  and 
Tm  sure  that  I'm  innocent" 

My  good  godmother  was  a  little  shocked  at 
this,  and  endeavoured  to  convince  me  that  such 
efxpressions  were  impious,  by  assuring  me  that 
•everything  was  suffered  for  the  best,  and  that, 
if  Mr.  Root  flogged  me  unjustly  and  wickedly, 
I  should  be  rewarded,  and  my  master  punished 
for  it  hereafter;  which  assurance  did  not  much 
mend  my  moral  feelings,  as  I  silently  resolved 
to  put   myself   in    the  way  of   a  few  extra 


102        BATTLIX,  THE  BEEFEB. 

UDJust  chastisements,  in  order  that  my  master 
might  receive  the  full  benefit  of  them  in  a  future 
state. 

Moral  duties  should  be  inculcated  in  the 
earliest  youth;  but  the  mysteries  of  religion 
should  be  left  to  a  riper  age.  After  many 
endearments,  and  much  good  advice,  that  I 
thought  most  beautiful,  from  the  tenderness  of 
tone  in  which  it  was  given,  I  requested  the 
lady,  with  all  my  powers  of  entreaty,  and 
amidst  a  shower  of  kisses,  to  take  me  home  to 
my  mother. 

"  Alas  !  my  dear  boy,"  was  the  reply,  "  Mrs. 
Brandon  is  not  your  mother." 

"  Well,  I  couldn't  believe  that  befbre : — 
never  mind — I  love  her  just  as  welL  But  who 
is  my  mother  ?  If  you  were  not  so  pretty,  and 
so  fine,  I  would  ask  you  to  be  my  mother;  all 
the  other  boys  have  got  a  mother,  and  a  father 
too." 

The  lady  caught  me  to  her  bosom,  and  kiss- 
ing me  amidst  her  tears  said,  ^*  Ralph,  I  will  be 
your  mother,  though  you  must  only  look  upon 
me  as  your  godmamma." 


RATTLIN,    THE    KEEPER.  103 

"  Oh,  I'm  80  glad  of  that !  and  what  shall  I 
call  you  T 

"  Mamma,  my  dear  chilA^ 

"  Well,  mamma,  won't  yoa  take  me  home  ?  I 
don't  mean  now,  but  at  the  holidajrs,  when  all 
the  others  go  to  their  mammas?  I'll  be  so 
good.    Won't  you,  mamma  ?" 

"  Come  here,  Ralph.  I  was  wrong.  You 
must  not  call  me  mamma,  I  can't  bear  it  I 
was  never  a  mother  to  you,  my  poor  boy.  I 
cannot  have  you  home.  By-and-by,  perhaps. 
Do  not  think  about  me  too  much,  and  do  not 
think  that  you  are  not  loved.  Oh  !  you  are  loved, 
very  much  indeed;  but  now  you  must  make 
your  schoolfellows  love  you.  I  have  told  Mr. 
Root  to  aUow  you  sixpence  a«week,  and  there 
are  eight  shillings  for  you,  and  a  box  of  play- 
things in  the  hall,  and  a  large  cake  in  the  box  ; 
lend  the  playthings  and  share  the  cake.  Now, 
my  dear  boy,  I  must  leave  you.  Do  not  think 
that  I  am  your  mother,  but  your  very  good 
friend.  Now,  may  God  bless  you,  and  watch 
over  you.     Keep  up  your  spirits,  and  remember 


M 


164       BATTLIK,  THE  REEFER. 

that  you   are  cared  for,   and  loved — O,   how 
fondly  loved  !^ 

With  a  fervent  blessing,  and  an  equally  fer- 
vent embrace,  she  parted  from  me ;  and,  when  I 
looked  round  and  found  that  she  had  gone 
from  the  room,  I  actually  experienced  the  sen- 
sation as  if  the  light  of  the  sun  had  been  sud- 
denly withdrawn,  and  that  I  walked  forth  in 
twilight  Exceeding  beautiful  was  that  tall, 
fair  lady,  and  she  must  have  been  a  spirit  of 
light  in  the  house  where  she  moved,  even  a  ray 
of  gladness,  and  an  incarnate  blessing  must  she 
have  been  in  the  loveliness  of  her  presence. 

When  I  went  up  melancholy  to  my  bed, 
and  crept  sorrowfully  under  the  clothes,  I  felt 
a  protection  round  me  in  that  haunted  chamber, 
in  the  very  fact  of  having  again  seen  her. 
This  house,  that  had  been  now  converted  into 
a  large  school,  had  formerly  been  one  of  the 
suburban  palaces  of  Queen  Elizabeth;  it  was 
very  spacious  and  rambling ;  some  of  the  rooms 
had  been  modernized,  and  some  remained  as 
they  had  been  for  centuries.      The  room   in 


RATTLIN,    THE    BE£F£R.  1(^5 

which  I  slept  was  one  of  the  smallest,  and 
contained  only  two  beds,  one  of  which  was 
occupied  by  the  housekeeper,  a  very  respectable 
old  lady,  and  the  other  by  myselfl  Sometimes 
I  had  a  bedfellow,  and  sometimes  not  This 
room  had  probably  been  a  vestibule,  or  the 
antichamber  to  some  larger  apartment,  and  it 
now  formed  an  abutment  to  the  edifice,  all  on 
one  side  of  it  being  ancient,  and  the  other 
modem.  It  was  lighted  by  one  narrow,  high, 
gothic  window,  the  panes  of  which  were  very 
small,  lozenged,  and  many  of  them  still  stained* 
The  roof  was  groined  and  concave,  and  still 
gay  with  tarnished  gold.  The  mouldings  and 
traceries  sprang  up  from  the  four  comers,  and 
all  terminated  in  the  centre,  in  which  grinned 
a  Medusa's  head,  with  her  circling  snakes,  in 
high  preservation,  and  of  great  and  ghastly 
beauty.  There  were  other  grotesque  visages, 
sprinkled  here  and  there  over  that  elaborate 
roof;  but  look  at  that  Medusa  from  what  point 
you  might,  the  painted  wooden  eyes  were  cast 
with  a  stolid  stemness  upon  you.  When  I 
had  a  bedfellow  it  was   always  some  cast-away 

f5 


106        BATTLIN,  THE  REEFEB. 

like  myself— some  poor  vreteh  who  cbuM  not 
go  home  and  complain  that  he  was  put  to  sleep 
m  "  the  haunted  chamber."  The  boys  told 
strange  tales  of  that  room,  and  they  all  believed 
that  the  floor  was  stuned  with  blood.  I  often 
examined  it,  both  by  day  and  by  candle-light ; 
it  was  very  old,  and  of  oak,  dark,  and  much 
discoloured.  But  even  my  excited  fimcy  could 
discover  nothing  like  blood-spots  upon  it.  After 
all,  when  I  was  alone  in  that  bed-chamber,  for 
the  housekeeper  seldom  entered  before  midnight, 
and  the  flickering  and  feeble  oil  lamp,  that 
always  burned  upon  her  table,  threw  its  uncer- 
tain rays  upwards,  and  made  the  central  bee 
quiver  as  it  were  into  life,  I  would  shrink, 
,  horror-stricken,  under  the  clothes,  and  silently 
pray  for  the  morning.  It  was  certainly  a 
fearful  room  for  a  visionary  child  like  myself 
with  whom  the  existence  of  ghosts  made  an 
article  of  feitb,  and  who  had  been  once  before 
frightened,  even  unto  the  death,  by  superna- 
tural terrors. 

But  of  all  this  I  never  complained.     I  have 
not  merit  enough  to  boast  that  I  am  proud,  for 


BATTLIN,    THE   EBEFER.  170 

pride  has  always  something  ennobling  about  it ; 
but  I  was  yain,  and  vanity  enabled  me  to  put 
on  the  appearance  of  courage.  When  ques- 
tioned by  the  few  schoolfellows  who  would 
speak  to  me,  I  acknowledged  no  ghosts,  and 
would  own  to  no  fear.  All  this,  in  the  sequel, 
was  remembered  to  my  honour.  Besides,  I 
had  found  a  singular  antidote  against  the  look 
of  the  evil  eye  in  the  ceiling.  What  I  am 
going  to  relate  may  be  startling,  and  for  a 
child  ten  years  old,  appear  incredible;  but  it  is 
the  bare,  unembellished  truth.  The  moment 
that  I  shall  feel  tempted  to  draw,  in  these 
memoirs,  on  my  invention  instead  of  my 
memory,  that  moment,  distrusting  myself,  I 
shall  lay  down  my  pen.  I  feel  conscious  that  I 
could  relate  something  infinitely  more  striking 
and  amiising,  had  I  recourse  to  fiction:  but 
the  moral  force  of  the  actual  and  stem  verity 
would  be  lost  to  my  readers. 

This  was  my  antidote  alluded  to.  In  the 
church  where  we  went,  there  was  a  strongly 
painted  altar-piece.  The  Virgin  Mother  bent, 
with  ine&ble  sweetness,  over  the  sleeping  Jesus- 


1(M  BATTLIN,  .THE    AESFBR* 

'Qie  pew  in  which  I  sat  was  distant  enoo^  to 
give  the  full  force  of  illusion  to  the  power  of  the 
artist,  and  the  glory  round  the  Madonna  much 
assisted  my  imagination.  I  certainly  attended 
to  that  face,  and  to  that  beneficent  attitude^ 
more  than  to  the  service.  When  the  terrors  of 
my  desolate  situation  used  to  begin  to  creep 
over  me  in  my  lonely  bed,  I  could,  without 
much  effort  of.  imagination,  bring  that  sweet 
motherly  face  before  me,  and  view  it  visibly  in 
the  gloom  of  the  room,  and  thus  defy  the 
dead  glance  of  the  visage  above  me.  I  used  to 
whisper  to  myself  these  words — "  Lady  with 
the  glory,  come  and  sit  by  me."  And  I  could 
then  close  my  eyes,  and  fancy,  nay  almost  feel 
assured  of  her  presence,  and  sleep  in  peace. 

But  in  the  night  that  I  had  seen  my  god- 
mother, when  I  crept  under  my  clothes  dis- 
consolately, I  no  longer  whispered  for  the  lady 
with  the  glory;  it  was  for  my  sweet  mamma. 
And  she,  too,  came  and  blessed  my  gentle  slum- 
bers. Surely  that  beautiful  creature  must  have 
been  my  mother,  for  long  did  she  come  and 
play   the  seraph's    part    over    her  child,   and 


nATTlslS,   TBS   EREFUB. 


109 


watobed  by  faia   [hIIow,   till  be  sank  in  tb# 
repose  of  m&ocence. 

Lately,  at  the  age  of  forty,  I  visited  that 
churdi.  I  looked  earnestly  at  the  altar-pieea 
I  was  astonished,  hurt,  disgusted.  It  was  a 
coarse  daub.  The  freshness  of  the  paintiag 
had  been  long  changed  by  the  dark  tarnish  of 
years,  and  the  blighting  of  a  damp  atmosphere. 
There  were  some  remains  of  beauty  in  the 
expression,  and  elegance  in  the  attitude ;  but, 
as  a  piece  of  art,  it  was  but  a  second-rate  per- 
formance. Age  dispels  many  illusions,  and 
suffers  for  it.  Truly,  youth  and  enthusiasm 
are  the  best  painters. 


i 


ATTLIN,    THE    REEFER. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

Ralph  lectureth  on  diTinity  and  little  bo;a'  nether  gar- 
ments—  Despondelh  exceedingly — and  being  the 
weaiceat  gMth  to  the  wall,  and  there  flndeth  con- 
Bolation — An  old  friend  with  an  old  face,  and  ex- 
cellent pro  vent. 

The  next  morning,  I  arose  the  possessor  of 
eight  shiUingB,  a  box  of  playthings,  a  plum- 
cake,  and  a  heavy  heart.  It  is  most  true,  that 
which  Wordeworth  hath  said  or  sung,  the 
*'  Boy's  the/afA«r  of  the  man."  When  I  min- 
gled with  my  schoolmates,  and  the  unexpected 
possession  of  my  various  wealth  had  transpired, 
I  found  many  of  them  very  kind  and  fatherlg 
indeed,  for  they  borrowed  my  money,  ate  my 


BATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.        Ill 

cake,  broke  my  playthings,  and  my  heart  they 
left  just  in  the  same  state  as  it  was  before. 

But  I  wiU  no  longer  dwell  upon  the  por- 
traiture of  that  saddest  of  all  created  things, 
the  despised  of  many.  I  was  taught  the  hard 
lesson  of  looking  upon  cruelty  as  my  daily 
bread,  tears  as  my  daily  drink,  and  scorn  as 
my  natural  portion.  Had  not  my  heart  hard- 
ened, it  must  have  broken.  But,  before  I 
leave  what  I  call  the  desponding  epoch  of  my 
schoolboy-days,  I  must  not  omit  to  mention  a 
species  of  impious  barbarity,  that  had  well  nigh 
alienated  my  heart  for  ever  from  religion,  and 
which  made  me,  for  the  time,  detest  the  very 
name  of  church,  Christianity  is  most  emi- 
nently a  religion  of  kindness ;  and,  through  the 
paths  of  holy  love  only,  should  the  young  heart 
be  conducted  to  the  throne  of  grace,  for  we 
have  it  from  the  highest  authority,  that  the 
worship  of  little  children  is  an  acceptable  offer- 
ing, and  may  well  mingle  with  the  sweetest 
symphonies  that  ascend  from  the  lips  of  seraphs 
to  the  footstool  of  the  Everlasting.    Our  God 


112  AATTLIV,    THR    R£EF£a. 

is  not  a  God  of  terrors,  and  when  he  is  so 
represented,  or  is  made  so  by  any  flint-hearted 
pedagogue  to  the  infeint  pupil,  that  man  has 
to  answer  for  the  almost  unpardonable  sin  of 
perilling  a  souL  Let  parents  and  guardians 
look  to  it  Let  them  mark  well  the  imwilling 
files  that  are  paraded  by  boarding-school  keep- 
ers, into  the  adjacent  church  or  chapel,  bringing 
a  mercenary  puff  up  to  the  very  horns  of  the 
altar,  and  let  them  ^then  inquire  how  many  are 
flogged,  or  beaten,  or  otherwise  evil-entreated,  be- 
cause they  have  flagged  in  an  attention  impossible 
in  the  days  of  childhood,  and  have  not  remem- 
bered a  text  perhaps  indistinctly  or  inaudibly 
given : — let  those  parents  and  guardians,  I  say, 
inquire,  and  if  but  one  poor  youth  has  so  suf- 
fered, let  them  be  fully  assured,  that  that 
master,  whatever  may  be  his  diligence,  whatever 
may  be  his  attwiments,  however  high  his 
worldly  character  may  stand,  is  not  fit  to  be 
the  modeller  of  the  youthful  mind,  and  only 
wants  the  opportunity  to  betray  that  bigotry 
which  would  gladly  bum  his  dissenting  neigh- 


UATTLlSy   THE    B££FER.  113 

bour  at  the  stake,  or  lash  a  faith,  with  exquisite 
tortures,  into  the  children  of  those  whom,  in  his 
saintly  pride,  he  may  call  heretical 

At  church  we  occupied,  at  least,  one  third 
of  the  whole  of  one  side  of  the  gallery.  Two 
hundred  and  fifty  boys  and  young  men,  with 
their  attending  masters  and  ushers,  could  not 
but  fill  a  large  space,  and  of  course,  would 
form  no  unimportant  feature  in  the  audience. 
Mr.  Root,  and  the  little  tioys,  were  always 
placed  in  the  lower  and  front  seats.  There  we 
sat,  poor  dear  little  puppets,  with  our  eyes 
strained  on  the  prayer-books,  always  in  the 
wrong  places,  during  the  offertory,  and,  after 
the  sermon  had  begun,  repeating  the  text  over 
and  over  again,  whilst  the  preaching  continued, 
lest  we  should  forget  it ;  whilst  a|l  this  time  the 
bigger  boys  in  the  rear  were  studying  novels, 
or  playing  at  odd-and-even  for  nuts,  marbles, 
or  hali^nce.  I  well  know  that  the  mathema- 
tical master  used,  invariably,  to  solve  his  hard 
problems  on  fly-leaves  in  his  prayer-book 
during  the  service,  for  I  have  repeatedly  seen 
there    his    laborious  calculations  in    minutely 


d 


114        BATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

small  figures ;  and  he  never  opened  his  prayer- 
book  but  at  church  —  as  perhaps  he  thought, 
with  the  old  woman  of  Smollett,  that  it  was  a 
species  of  impiety  to  study  such  works  any- 
where else.  Whilst  all  this  was  going  on  in 
the  back  rows,  Mr.  Root,  in  the  full-blown 
glory  of  his  Sunday  paraphernalia,  and  well 
powdered,  attended  exclusively  to  the  holiness 
and  devout  comportment  of  his  little  chapter 
of  innocents.  Tablet  in  hand,  every  wandering 
look  was  noted  down ;  and,  alas !  the  conse- 
quences to  me  were  dreadfully  painful. 

The  absolution  absolved  me  not  The  "  Te 
Deum  laudamus"  was  to  me  more  a  source  of 
tears  than  of  praise^ — and  the  "  O  be  joyful 
in  the  Lord"  has  repeatedly  made  me  intensely 
sorrowful  in  the  school-room.  In  all  honesty, 
I  don't  think  that,  for  a  whole  half-year,  I 
once  escaped  my  Sunday  flogging.  It  came  as 
regularly  as  the  baked  rice-puddings.  I  began 
to  look  upon  the  thing  as  a  matter  of  course ; 
and,  if  any  person  should  doubt  the  credibility 
of  this,  or  any  other  account  of  these  my  school- 
boy days,  happily  there  are  several  now  living 


R^TTLIN,    THE   BSEFEK.  115 

who  can  vouch  for  its  veracity,  and  if  I  am 
dared  to  the  proof  by  any  one,  by  whose  con- 
viction I  should  feel  honoured,  that  proof  most 
certainly  will  I  give. 

I  have  stated  all  this,  from  what  I  believe  to 
be  a  true  reverence  for  worship,  to  make  the 
offices  of  religion  a  balm  and  a  blessing,  to 
prove  that  there  is  a  cherishing  warmth  in  the 
glory  of  light  that  surrounds  the  throDC  of 
Exhaustless  Benevolence,  and  that  the  Deity 
cannot  be  worthily  called  upon,  by  young 
hearts  stricken  by  degrading  fears,  and  fainting 
under  a  Moloch-inspired  dread.  Notwithstand- 
ing my  eccentric  life,  I  have  ever  been  the 
ardent,  the  unpretending,  though  the  unworthy 
adorer  of  the  Great  Being,  whose  highest  attri- 
bute is  the  ^^Oood."  I  have  had  reason  to  be 
so. 

The  man  who  has  acknowledged  his  Creator 
amidst  his  most  stupendous  works,  who  has 
recognised  his  voice  in  the  ocean-storm,  who 
has  confessed  his  providence  amidst  the  slaugh- 
ter of  battle,  and  witnessed  the  awful  univer- 
sality of  that  adoration  that  is  wafted  to  Him, 


i 


116  EATTLIK,    Tri£    R££F£R. 

from  all  nations,  under  all  fonns,  from  the 
simple  smiting  of  the  breast  of  the  penitent 
solitary  one,  to  the  sublime  pealings  of  the 
choral  hymn,  buoyed  upon  the  resounding  notes 
of  the  thunder-tongued  organ  in  the  high  and 
dim  cathedral, — the  man,  who  has  witnessed 
and  acutely  felt  all  this,  and  has  no  feelings  of 
piety,  or  deference  to  religion,  must  be  endued 
with  a  heart  hardened  beyond  the  flintiness, 
as  the  Scriptures  beautifully  express  it,  ^^  of  the 
nether  millstone." 

But  my  forte  is  not  the  serious.  I  am  intent, 
and  quiet,  and  thoughtful,  only  under  the  in- 
fluence of  great  enjoyment  When  I  have 
the  most  cause  to  deem  myself  blessed,  or  to 
call  myself  triiunphant,  it  is  then  that  I  shu 
stricken  with  a  feeling  of  undesert,  that  I  am 
grave  with  humility,  or  sad  with  the  thought 
of  human  instability.  But  on  the  eve  of  battle, 
on  the  yard-arm  in  the  tempest,  or  amidst 
the  dying  in  the  pest-house,  say,  O  ye  compar- 
nions  of  my  youth!  whose  jest  was  the  most 
constant,  whose  laugh  the  loudest?  Yet  the 
one  fcN^Ung  was  not  real  despondence,  nor  the 


RtATTUX,   TfilE    EEEFEB.  117 

odier  real  eourage.  In  the  first  place,  it  tt 
no  more  than  the  bouI  looking  beyond  this 
world  for  the  real,  in  (iie  second,  she  is  trifling 
in  this  world  with  the  ideal.  However,  as  in 
these  pages  I  intend  to  attempt  to  be  tolerably 
gayj  it  may  be  fairly  presumed  that  I  am  very 
considerably  unhappy,  and  dull,  perhaps,  as  the 
perusal  of  these  memoirs  may  make  my  readers. 

As  such  great  pains  were  taken^  at  least  by 
me,  in  my  religious  education,  it  is  not  to  be 
wondered  at  that  I  should  not  feel  at  all  seden* 
tary  on  the  Sunday  afternoons  after  church-time. 
In  fietct,  I  affected  any  position  rather  than  the 
sitting  one.  But  all  the  Sundays  were  not  joy- 
less to  me.  One,  in  particular,  though  die 
former  part  of  it  had  been  passed  in  sickening 
fear,  and  the  middle  in  torturing  pain,  its  ter- 
mination was  marked  with  a  heartfelt  joyousness, 
the  cause  of  which  I  must  record  as  a  tribute  of 
gratitude  due  to  one  of  the  *^not  imwashed," 
but  <lie  muddy-minded  multitude. 

I  was  stealing  along  mournfully  under  the 
play-ground  wall,  with  no  hasty  or  striding 
step,  not   particularly  wishing  any  rough  or 


118        RATTLIX,  THE  BEEFER. 

close  contact  of  certain  parts  of  my  dress  with 
my  person,   my  passing    schoolmates    looking 
upon  me  in  the  manner  that   Shakspeare  eo 
beautifully  describes  the  untouched  deer  regard 
the  stricken  hart     My  soul  was  very  heairyy 
and  full  of  dark  wonder.     The  sun  was  settings 
and,  to  all  living,  it  is  either  a  time  of  solenm 
peace,  or  of  instinctive  melandioly  when  looked 
upon  by  the  solitary  one*     Of  a  sudden  I  was 
roused  from  my  gloom  by  the  well  known,  yet 
long^missed  shout  of,  ^^  Ralph !   Ralph  i"  and 
looking   up,   I   discovered    the    hard-featured, 
grinning  physiognomy  of  Joe  Brandon,  actually 
beaming  with  pleasure,  on  the  top  of  the  walL 
How  glad  he  was !     How  glad  I  was !     He  had 
fouild  me !     Instead  of  seeking  the  Lord  in  his 
various  conventicles   on  the   Sunday,  he  had 
employed  that  day,  invariably,  after  I  had  been 
taken  from  his  house,  in  reconnoitering  the 
different  boarding-schools  in  the  vicinity,  and 
at  some  distance  from  the  metropolis*     To  this^ 
no  doubt,  he   was  greatly  instigated  by   the 
affection  of  my  nurse,  but  I  give  his  own  heart 
the  credit  of  its  being  a  labour  of  love.    Th^ 


BATTLIK,    THE    KF.EFKtt*  119 

wall  being  too  high  to  permit  us  to  shake  hands, 
at  my  earnest  entreaty,  he  went  round  to  the 
front ;  but  after  having  made  known  his  desire 
— literally,  ^^  a  pampered  menial  drove  him 
from  the  door/'  Well,  the  wall,  if  not  open  to 
him,  was  still  before  and  above  him,  and  he 
again  mounted  it  Our  words  were  few,  as  the 
boys  began  to  cluster  around  me.  He  let  drop 
to  me  fourpence  halfpenny,  folded  in  a  piece  of 
brown  paper,  and  disappeared.  Oh  how  I 
prize  that  pilgrim  visit!  Forget  it,  I  never 
can !  That  meeting  was  to  me  a  one  bright 
light  on  my  dark  and  dreary  path.  It  enabled 
me  to  go  forward ;  there  was  not  much  gloom 
between  me  and  hiq)pier  days — perhaps  the 
light  of  joy  that  that  occurrence  shed,  enabled 
me  to  pass  over  the  triaL  It  might  have  been, 
that^  at  that  period,  I  could  have  borne  no  more, 
and  should  have  sunk  under  my  accumulated 
persecutions.  I  will  not  say  that  so  it  was,  for 
there  is  an  elasticity  in  early  youth  that  re- 
covers itself  against  much—yet  I  was  at  that 
time  heavy  indeed  with  exceeding  hopelessness. 
All  I  can  say  to  the  sneerer  is,  I  wish,  that  at 


120  RATTLIX,    THE    fi££F£Jl. 

the  next  conclave  of  personages  who  may  be 
assembled  to  discuss  the  destinies  of  nations, 
there  may  be  as  much  of  the  milk  of  human 
kindness  and  right  feelings  among  them,  as 
there  was  between  me  and  the  labouring  saw- 
yer, Joe  Brandon,  the  one  being  at  the  top,  and 
the  other  at  the  bottom  of  the  walL 

The  next  Sunday,  Brandon  was  again  on  the 
wall  with  a  prodigious  plum-cake.  A  regular 
cut-and-come-again  aflkir :  it  fell  to  the  ground 
with  a  heaviness  of  sound  that  beat  the  falling 
of  Corporal  Trim's  hat  all  to  ribbons.  To  be 
sure,  the  Corporal's  fell  as  if  there  had  been  a 
quantity  of  "  clay  kneaded  in  the  crown  of  it," 
whilst  mine  was  kneaded  with  excellent  dough. 
The  Sunday  after  there  was  the  same  appear- 
ance varied  with  gingerbread,  and  then — for 
years,  I  neither  saw,  nor  heard  of  him.  Poor 
Joseph  was  threatened  with  the  constable,  and 
was  put  to  no  more  expense  for  cakes  for  his 
foster-son. 


KATTIIW,   THE   KECnCK. 


121 


CHAPTER  XIIL 

Pray  remember  the  fifth  of  NoTember—Rumours  of 
wars — preceded  by  scholastic  elocution^  and  suc- 
ceeded by  a  cold  dinner^  darkness^  and  determina- 
tion. 


I'SarALL  now  draw  the  dolorous  recital  of  what 
I  hstB  termed  my  epoch  of  despondency  to  a 
dose.  The  fifth  of  November  was  approach- 
ing; I  had  been  at  school  nearly  two  years, 
iknd  had  learned  little  but  the  hard  lesson  ^*  to 
bMr/^  and  that  I  had  well  studied.  I  had,  as 
yet,  made  no  friends.  Boys  are  very  tyran- 
nical and  very  generous,  by  fits.  They  will 
bully  and  oppress  the  outcast  of  a  school,  be- 
cause it  is  the  fashion  to  bully  and  oppress 

VOL.  I.  o 


182        BATTLIK,  THE  aBBFBRi 

him — but  tibey  will  equally  magnify  thetr  hero, 
and  are  senutively  alive  to  admiratioQ  of  feats 
of  daring  and  wild  exploit  With  tbem,  bra- 
very is  the  first  virtue,  generosity  the  second. 
They  crouch  under  the  strong  for  protection, 
and  they  court  the  lamh  from  self-interest 
In  all  this  they  differ  from  men  in  nothing 
hut  that  they  act  more  undiBguieedly.  Well, 
the  fifth  of  Kovember  was  fast  approaching  in 
which  I  was  to  commence  the  enthusiastic 
epoch  of  my  schoolboy  existence.  I  was  now 
twelve  years  of  age.  Almost  insensible  to 
bodily  pain  by  frequent  magisterial  and  social 
dirashings,  tall,  strong  of  my  age,  reckless, 
and  fearless.  The  scene  of  my  first  ex{^tt 
was  to  be  amidst  the  excitement  of  a  **  barring 
out,"  but  of  such  a  "barring  out,'"  that  tbe 
memory  of  it  remains  in  the  vicinity  in  which 
it  took  place  to  this  day. 

1  have  before  said  that  the  sdiool  contained 
never  less  than  two  hundred  and  fifty  pupils — 
sometimes  it  amounted  to  nearly  three  hundred. 
At  the  time  of  which  I  am  about  to  speak, 
it   was    very  full,    containing,    ammg  otlien, 


&A97UV,   THE   «EXF£m.  1S8 

pmf  ypang  laeut  The  times  are  do  more 
srbaa  p^rsoias  of  nin^een  and  twenty  suffered 
tib(9m90lve8  to  be  horsed,  and  took  their  one 
aod  two  dozens  with  edification  and  humility. 
JkX  ^oi»  age,  we  now  cultivate  moustaches,  talk 
of  .OMrJoe  Mantons,  send  a  friend  to  demand 
49, ^aKplanation^  and  all  that  sort  of  thing.  Oh! 
^tiiQ0B  are  much  improved  I  However,  at  that 
period^  the  birch  was  no  visionary  terror.  In- 
fliction or  expulsion  were  the  alternatives  !  and, 
as  the  fonn  of  government  was  a  despotism- 
like  all  despotisms  to  my  thinking,  a  most 
odious  one — it  was  subject,  at  intervals,  to 
^^eat  convulsions.  I  am  gcnng  to  describe  the 
:gve9kte6t  under  the  reign  of  Root  the  First 
'.  Mr.  Root  was  capricious.  Sometimes  he 
nfore  his  own  handsome  head  well  powdered; 
at  others  curled  without  powder;  at  others 
straight,  without  powder  or  curls.  He  was 
churdiwarden ;  and  then,  when  his  head  was 
&dl  of  his  office,  it  was  also  full  of  flour,  and 
fiiM  of  ideas  of  his  own  consequence  and  in£Ed- 
lihility.  On  a  concert  night,  and  in  the  ball- 
room, it  was  cuifed,  and  then  it  was  full  of 

G  2 


i 


124        RATTLIN,  THE  R££F£R. 

amatory  conquests — and,  as  he  was  captain  in 

the  cavaLry  volunteers,  on  field  days  his 

hair  was  straight  and  lank — ^martial  ardour 
gave  him  no  tii^e  to  attend  to  the  firipperiee  of 
the  coxcomb.  These  are  but  small  particulars, 
but  such  are  very  important  in  the  character 
of  a  great  man.  With  his  hair  curled,  he  was 
jocular,  even  playful — with  it  lank,  he  was  a 
great  disciplinarian— had  military  subordina- 
tion strong  in  respect,  and  the  birch  gyrated 
freely.  But  when  he  was  full  blown  in  powder, 
he  was  unbearable.  There  was  then  combined 
all  the  severity  of  the  soldier  and  the  dogma- 
tism of  the  pedagogue,  with  the  self-sufficiency 
and  domineering  nature  of  the  coxcomb  and 
churchwarden. 

On  the  memorable  fifth  of  November,  Mr. 
Root  appeared  in  the  school-room,  with  his 
hair  elaborately  powdered. 

The  little  boys  trembled.  Lads  by  fifteens 
and  twenties  wanted  to  go  out  under  various 
pretences.  The  big  boys  looked  very  serious, 
and  very  resolved.  It  was  twelve  o^clock — 
apd  some  thirty  or  forty — myself  always  in- 


RATTLIN,  THE  BEEFER.        125 

duded— were  duly  flogged,  it  being  "his  cus- 
tom at  the  hour  of  noon/'  When  the  periodi- 
cal operation  was  over,  at  which  there  was  much 
spargefication  of  powder  from  his  whitened 
head,  he  commanded  silence.  Even  the  flagel- 
lated boys  contrived  to  hush  up  their  sobs,  the 
shufling  of  feet  ceased,  those  who  had  colds 
refrained  from  blowing  their  noses;  and,  after 
one  boy  was  flogged  for  coughing,  he  thus  de- 
fivered  himself : 

"Young  gentlemen,  it  has  been  customary 
— customary  it  has  been,  I  say,  for  you  to 
have  permission  to  make  a  bonfire  in  the  lower 
field,  and  display  your  fireworks,  on  this  anni- 
versary of  the  fifth  of  November.  Little  boys, 
take  your  dictionaries,  and  look  out  for  the 
word  '  anniversary.' " 

A  bustle  for  the  books,  whilst  Mr.  Root 
plumes  himself  and  struts  up  and  down.  Two 
boys  fight  for  the  same  dictionary ;  one  of  them 
gets  a  plunge  on  the  nose,  which  makes  him 
cry  out — ^he  is  immediately  horsed  and  flogged 
for  speaking ;  and,  rod  in  hand,  Mr.  Root  con- 
tinues.. 


126        BATTLIN,  THE  AXEFKB. 

'^  Young  gentlemen^  you  know  ray  meAod 
— ^my  method  is  well  known  to  you,  I  say, — to 
join  amusement  with  instruction*  Now,  young 
gentlemen,  the  great  conflagration — tenth,  ninth, 
and  eighth  forms,  look  out  the  word  <  conflagra- 
tion'— the  great  conflagration,  I  say,  made  by 
this  p3nrotechnic  display — «eyenth,  mxth,  and 
fifth  forms,  turn  up  the  word  <  pyrotechnk.' 
Mr.  Reynolds,  (the  head  classical  master,)  you 
will  particularly  oblige  me  by  not  taking  snuff 
in  that  violent  way  whilst  I  am  speeking,  the 
sniffling  is  abominable." 

"TiuTi  up  the  word  *  sniffling,'"  cries  a  voice 
from  the  lower  end  of  the  schooL  A  great 
confusion — the  culprit  remains  undiscovered, 
and  some  forty,  at  two  suspected  desks,  nre 
fined  three-hal^nce  a-piece.  Mr.  Root  con- 
tinues, with  a  good  deal  of  indignation :  ^  I 
sha'n't  allow  the  bonfire  no  more— no,  not  at 
all;  nor  the  fireworks  neither — no,  nothing  of 
no  kind  of  the  sort"  All  this  in  his  natural 
voice :  then  swelling  in  dignity  and  in  diction, 
^<  but,  for  the  accumulated  pile  of  combnsttbles, 
I  say — ^for  the  combustible  pile  that  ^fum  havo 


BATTLIV,  THE  SEEVEB.        127 

aoeumulated,  that  you  may  not  be  deprived  of 
the  Hierit  of  doing  a  good  action,  the  materials 
of  which  it  is  composed,  that  is  to  say,  the  logs 
of  wood,  and  the  bavins  of  fiirze,  with  the  pole 
and  tar-barrel,  shall  be  sold,  and  the  money 
jmt  in  the  poor-box  next  Sunday,  which  I,  as 
one  of  the  churchwardens,  shall  hold  at  the 
church-porch;  for  a  charity  sermon  will  on 
that  day  be  preached  by  the  Reverend  Father 
in  God,  the  Lord  Bishop  of  Bristol  It  is  our 
duty,  as  Christians,  to  give  eleemosynary  aid 
to  the  poor; — let  all  classes  but  the  first  and 
second,  look  out  the  virord  <  eleemosynary/  I 
say  to  the  poor,  eleemosynary  aid  should  be 
given.  You  virill  also  give  up  all  the  fireworks 
that  you  may  have  in  your  play-boxes,  for  the 
same  laudable  piupose.  The  servant  vnll  go 
round  and  collect  them  after  dinner.  I  say, 
by  the  servants  after  dinner  they  shall  all  be 
collected.  Moreover,  young  gentlemen,  I  have 
to  tell  you,  that  the  churchwardens,  and  the 
authorities  in  the  town,  are  determined  to  put 
down  Guy  Faux,  and  he  shall  be  put  down 
aecordKiigly.^    So  now,  young  gentlemen,  you'd 


128        &ATTLIN,  THE  B£EF£B. 

better  take  your  amusements  before  dinner,  for 
you  will  have  no  holiday  in  the  afternoon,  and 
I  shall  not  suffer  any  one  to  go  out  after  tea, 
for  fear  of  mischie£"  Having  thus  spoken,  he 
dismissed  the  school,  and  strode  forth  majesti* 

cally. 

O  reader  !  can  you  conceive  the  dismay,  the 
indignation,  and  the  rage  that  the  CJourt  of 
Aldermen  would  display,  i^  when  sitting  down 
hungrily  to  a  civic  feast,  they  were  informed 
that  all  the  eatables  and  potatories  were  carried 
off  by  a  party  headed  by  Mr.  Scales?  Can 
you  conceive  the  fury  that  would  bum  in  the 
countenances  of  a  whole  fsunily  of  lordly  sine- 
curists,  at  being  informed  upon  official  autho- 
rity, that  henceforth  their  salaries  would  be 
eqfial  to  their  services  ?  No,  all  this  you  can- 
not conceive ;  nor  turtle-desiring  alderman,  nor 
cate-fed  sinecurist,  could,  under  these  their 
supposed  tribulations,  have  approached  in  fury 
and  hate,  the  meekest-spirited  boys  of  Mr. 
Root's  school,  when  they  became  fiilly  aware 
of  the  extent  of  the  tyrannous  robbery  about 
to  be  perpetrated.    Had  they  not  been  led  on 


JtATTLIN,    THE    BEEFER.  129 

by  hope  ?  Had  they  not  trustingly  eschewed 
banbury-cakes — sidled  by  longingly  the  pastry* 
cook's — and  piously  withstood  the  temptation 
of  hard-bake,  in  order  that  they  might  save  up 
their  pocket-money  for  this  one  grand  occasion  ? 
and  even  after  this,  their  hopes  and  their  ex- 
ertions to  end  in  smoke  ?  Would  that  it  were 
even  that ;  but  it  was  decided  that  there  should 
be  neither  fire  nor  smoke.  Infieituated  peda- 
gogue I     Unhappy  decision ! 

The  boys  did  not  make  use  of  the  permis- 
sion to  go  out  to  play.  They  gathered  toge- 
ther unanimously,  in  earnest  knots — rebellion 
stalked  on  tip-toe  from  party  to  party — the 
little  boys  looked  big,  and  the  big  boys  looked 
bigger — and  the  young  men  looked  magnifi- 
cexLt.  The  half-boarders  whispered  their  fears 
to  the  ushers,  the  ushers  spoke  under  their 
breaths  to  the  under-masters,  the  under-mas- 
ters  had  cautious  conversation  with  the  head 
Latin,  French,  and  mathematical  tutors,  and 
these  poured  their  misgiving  into  the  ears  of 
the  awfiil  Daminut  himself;  but  he  only  shook 
his  powdered  head  in  derision  and  disdain. 

o5 


130        kATTLIN,  THE  AEEPEB. 

On  that  cold,  foggy,  fifth  of  November,  we 
all  sat  down  to  a  dinner  as  cold  as  the  day, 
and  with  looks  as  dark  as   the   atmosphere. 
Amidst  the  clatter  of  knives  and  forks,  the  m- 
mour  already  ran  from  table  to  table,  that  a 
horse  and  cart  was  just  going  to  remove  the 
enormous  pile  of   combustibles    collected  for 
the  bonfire.      We  had  good  spirits  amongst 
us.     There  was  an  air  of  calm  defiance  on  a 
great  many.     The  reason  was  soon  explamed, 
for  before  we  rose  from  our  repast,  huge  vo- 
lumes of  red  flame  rose  from  the  field — the  pile 
had  been  fired  in  twenty  places  at  once^  and, 
at  this  sight,  a  simultaneous  and  irrepressible 
shout  shook  the  walls  of  the  school-room.    The 
maid-servants  who  were  attending  the  table, 
shrieking,  each  in  her  peculiar  musical  note, 
hurried  out  in  confusion  and  fear;  and  there 
was  a  rush  towards  the  door  by  the  scholars, 
and  some  few  got  down  stairs.     However,  the 
masters  soon  closed  the  door,  and  those  who 
had  escaped  were  brought  back.     The  shutters 
of  the  windows  that  looked  but  upon  the  fire 
were  closed,  and  thus,  in  the  middle  of  the  day. 


EATTLIN,  THS  SEEFEB.        131 

we  were  reduced  to  a  state  almost  of  twi- 
light 

Every  moment  expecting  actual  collision  with 
their  pupls,  the  masters  and  ushers,  about 
^teen  in  number,  congregated  at  the  lower 
end  of  the  room,  near  the  door,  for  the  double 
purpose  of  supporting  each  other,  and  of  mak- 
ing a  timely  escape.  The  half-suppressed  hub- 
bub among  three  hundred  boys,  confined  in 
partial  darkness,  grew  stronger  each  moment; 
it  was  like  the  rumbling  beneath  the  earth, 
tiiat  precedes  the  earthquake.  No  one  spoke 
as  yet  louder  than  the  other — the  master-voice 
had  not  yet  risen.  That  dulled  noise  seemed 
like  a  far^ff  humming,  and  had  it  not  been  so 
intense^  and  so  very  human,  it  might  have  been 
compared  to  the  wrath  of  a  myriad  of  bees  con- 
fined in  the  darkness  of  their  hives,  with  their 
queen  lying  dead  amongst  them. 


i 


132 


BATTLIN,    THE    REEFER* 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

Hard  words  the  precursoi^s  of  hard  blows — A  turn-up 
to  be  apprehended^  but  not  merely  of  poUy syllables 
— ^Ralph  commences  raving — Root  resUting — The 
latter  gets  the  whip-hand  of  us. 


Whilst  this  commotion  was  going  on  in  the 
school-room,  Mr.  Root  was  active  in  the  field, 
endeavouring,  with  the  aid  of  the  men-servants, 
to  pluck  as  much  fuel  from  the  burning  pile 
as  possible.  The  attempt  was  nearly  vain. 
He  singed  his  clothes,  and  burnt  his  hands, 
lost  his  hat  in  the  excitement  and  turmoil,  and 
sadly  discomposed  his  powdered  ringlets.  Ad- 
vices were  brought  to  him,  (we  must  now  use 
the  phrase  military,)  of  the  demonstration  made 


RATTLIN,    THE    REIFER.  198 

by  the  young  gentlemen  in  the  school-roouL 
He  hurried  with  the  pitchfork  in  his  hand, 
which  he  had  been  using,  and  appeared  at 
the  entrance  of  his  pandemonium,  ahnost,  con- 
sidering his  demoniac  look,  in  character.  He 
made  a  speech,  enforced  by  thumping  the 
handle  of  the  fork  against  the  floor,  which 
speech,  though  but  little  attended  to,  was 
marked  by  one  singularity.  He  did  not  tell 
the  lads  to  turn  up  any  of  his  hard  words. 
However,  he  hoped  that  the  young  gentlemen 
had  yet  sense  of  propriety  enough  left,  to  per- 
mit the  servants  to  clear  the  tables  of  the 
plates,  knives,  forks,  and  other  dinner  appur- 
tenances. This  was  acceded  to  by  shouts  of 
"  Let  them  in — ^let  them  in."  The  girls  and 
the  two  school  servants  came  in,  one  of  the 
latter  being  the  obnoxious  hoister,  and  they 
were  permitted  to  perform  their  office  in  a  dead 
silence.  It  speaks  well  for  our  sense  of  honour, 
and  respect  for  the  implied  conditions  of  the 
treaty,  when  it  is  remembered  that  this  abhor- 
red Tom,  the  living  instrument  of  our  tortures, 
and  on  whose  back  we  had  most  of  us  so  often 


134        XATTLIK,  THE  SEEFSS. 

writhed,  was  permitted  tx>  go  into  the  idarkest 
corners  of  the  room  umnolested,  and  even  un- 
insulted.  When  the  tables  were  cleaored,  then 
rung  out  exultingly  the  shout  of  ^  Bar  him  out 
—bar  him  out  V* 

"  I  never  yet,**  roared  out  Mr,  Root,  *<  was 
barred  out  of  my  own  premises,  and  I  never 
will  be!"  He  was  determined  to  resist  man- 
fully, and  if  he  fell,  to  ML  like  Caesar,  in  the 
capitol,  decorously:  so  as  togse  are  not  worn  in 
our  unclassical  days  he  retired  to  prepare  him- 
self for  the  contention,  by  getting  hia  head 
newly  powdered,  telling  his  assistants  to  keep 
the  position  that  they  still  held,  at  all  haaards, 
near  the  door. 

Before  I  narrate  the  ensuing  struggle— a 
struggle  that  will  be  ever  remembered  in  the 
town  in  which  it  took  place,  and  which  will  serve 
any  one  that  was  engaged  in  it,  as  long  as  he 
lives,  to  talk  of  with  honest  enthusiasmt  even  if 
he  has  been  happy  enough  tp  have  been  engaged 
in  real  warfare;  it  is  necessary  to  describe  ex- 
actly the  battle-field.  The  school  was  a  paral- 
lelogram, bowed  at  one  end,  and  about .  the 


BAtTltV,  THB  KKVFXm.       185 

fimenmoiis  of  a  modenitely'^zed  diapeL  It 
was  very  lofty,  and,  at  the  bofwed  end,  whidi 
looked  into  tfie  fiekb,  there  were  three  large 
wmdowB  baih  very  high,  and  arched  after  the 
eodesiastieal  fiishion.  One  of  the  sides  had  win* 
dows  similar  to  those  at  the  end.  The  school- 
room was  entered  firom  the  house  by  a  lobby,  np 
into  wMdi  lobby  terminated  a  wide  staircase, 
from  the  play-ground.  The  school-room  was 
therefore  entered  from  the  lobby  by  only  one 
large  folding  door.  But  over  this  end  there  was 
a  capacious  ordiestra,  supported  by  six  columns, 
which  ordiestra  contained  a  very  superb  organ. 
The  orchestra  might  also  be  entered  from  the 
honse,  but  from  a  floor  and  a  lobby  above  that 
#hich  opened  into  the  school -room.  Conse- 
quently, at  the  door  end  of  the  school-room, 
there  was  a  space  formed  of  about  twelve  or 
fourteen  feet,  with  a  ceiling  much  lower  than 
the  rest  of  the  buildings  and  which  space  was 
bounded  by  the  six  pillars  that  supported  the 
gallery  above.  This  low  space  was  occupied 
by  the  masters  and  assistants  —  certainly  a 
strong    position,    as  it  commanded    the  only 


Id6        KATTLIN9  THE  ABEFBE. 

outlet  The  whole  edifice  was  built  upon  rows 
of  stone  columns,  that  permitted  the  boys  a 
sheltered  play-ground  beneath  the  school-room 
in  inclement  or  rainy  weather.  The  windows 
being  high  from  the  floor  within  doors,  and 
very  high  indeed  from  the  ground  without, 
they  were  but  sorry  and  dangerous  means  of 
communication,  through  which,  either  to  make 
an  escape,  or  bring  in  succours  or  munitions, 
should  the  siege  be  turned  to  a  blockade.  It 
was,  altogether,  a  vast,  and  when  properly 
fitted  up,  a  superb  apartment,  and  was  used 
for  the  monthly  concerts  and  the  occasional 
balls. 

Time  elapsed.  It  seemed  that  we  were  the 
party  barred  in,  instead  of  the  master  being  the 
party  barred  out  The  mass  of  rebellion  was 
as  considerable  as  any  radical  could  have 
wished;  and,  as  yet,  as  disorganized  as  any 
Tory  commander-in-chief  of  the  forces  could 
have  desired.  However,  Mr.  Root  did  not  ap- 
pear,  and  it  having  become  completely  dark, 
the  boys  themselves  lighted  the  various  lamps. 
About  six  or  seven  o'clock  there  was  a  stir 


AATTLIM,  THE  XBKKBH.        197 

among  the  learned  guard  at  the  door,  when  at 
length  Mr.  Reynolds,  the  head  classical  master, 
having  rapped  the  nlver  top  of  his  great  horn 
snuff-boz,  in  a  speech,  mingled,  very  appro- 
priately, with  Latin  and  Greek  quotations, 
wished  to  know  what  itVas  precisely  that  the 
young  gentlemen  desired,  and  he  was  answered 
by  fifty  voices  at  once^  ^^  Leave  to  go  into  the 
fields^  and  let  off  the  fireworks." 

After  a  pause,  a  message  was  brought  that 
this  could  not  be  granted ;  but,  upon  the  rest 
of  the  school  going  quietly  to  bed,  permission 
would  be  gpiven  to  all  the  young  gentlemen 
above  fifteen  years  of  age,  to  go  down  the  town 
until  eleven  o'clock.  The  proposal  was  refused 
with  outcries  of  indignation.  We  now  had 
many  leaders,  and  the  shouts  of  ^^  Force  the 
door  r  became  really  dreadfiiL  Gradually  the 
lesser  boys  gave  back,  and  the  young  men 
formed  a  dense  firont  line,  &cing  the  sixteen 
masters,  whose  position  was  fortified  by  the 
pillars  supporting  the  orchestra,  and  whose  rear 
was  strengtiiened  by  the  servants  of  the  house- 
hold.   As  yet,  the  scholars  stood  with  nothing 


138        BATTLIK,  THE  XBEFSB« 

offensive  in  their  hands,  and  with  their  arms 
folded,  in  desperate  quietude.  At  last,  there 
was  a  voice  a  good  way  in  the  reaf,  which  ac- 
counts for  the  bravery  of  the  owner,  that 
shouted,  ^  Why  don't  you  rally,  and  force  the 
door?'  Here  Monsieur  Moineau,  a  French 
emigr^,  and  our  Grallic  tutor,  cried  out  lustily, 
<*  You  shall  force  that  door,  never — jtwiais, 
jamais — my  pretty  garfons^  mes  chets  pupih, 
be  good,  be  quiet— go  you  couch  youself — lc8 
fewD  d^ artifice !  bah  I  they  worth  noding  at  all 
— you  go  to  bed.  Ah,  ah,  demain — all  have 
coit^e— one,  two,  half  holiday — but  you  force 
this  door — par  ma  foisy  loyautS—jamais — ^you 
go  out,  one,  two,  three,  totU — ^go  ov^  dis  carpSf 
of  Antoine  Auguste  Moineau." 

We  gave  the  brave  fellow  a  hearty  cheer  for 
his  loyalty ;  and,  I  have  no  doubt,  had  he  been 
allowed  to  remain,  he  would  have  been  tram- 
pled to  death  on  his  post  He  had  lost  his 
rank,  his  fortune,  everything  but  his  s^* 
respect,  in  the  quarrel  of  his  king,  who  had 
just  fell  on  the  scaffold :  he  had  a  great  respect 
for  constituted  authority,  and  was  sadly 


MAltUSy  TSR  BBxrsx.  189 

at  biiiig  obliged  to  bononr  heroum  in  spite  of 
kiniflel^  wfaenarrajrcd  against  it 

Let  OS  panse  over  diese  proceedings,  and 
retom  to  myseli  As  the  rebellion  increased,  I 
seemed  to  be  receiving  the  elements  of  a  new 
life.  My  limbs  trembled,  but  it  was  with  a 
fierce  joy.  I  ran  hither  and  thiAer  exultinglj 
«-I  poshed  aside  boys  three  or  four  years  older 
than  myself — I  gnashed  my  teeth,  I  stamped^ 
I  clendied  my  hands, — I  wished  to  harangue, 
but  I  oonld  not  find  utterance,  for  the  very  ex- 
cess of  thoughts.  At  diat  moment  I  would  not 
be  put  down;  I  grinned  defiance  in  the  boe 
of  my  late  scomers ;  I  was  drunk  with  the  ex- 
citing draught  of  contention.  The  timid  gave 
me  their  fireworks,  the  brave  applauded  my 
resolution,  and,  as  I  went  from  one  party  to 
another,  exhorting  more  by  gesture  than  by 
spcfech,  I  was  at  length  rewarded,  by  hearing 
the  approving  shout  of  ^*  Go  it,  Ralph  Rat- 
tSnr 

I  am  not  fearful  of  dwelling  too  much  upon 
die  aSrir.  It  must  be  interesting  to  those 
aniiabilitMB  called  the  ^  risbg  generation,*'  the 


140        BATTLIK,  THE  REEFER. 

more  especially  as  a  ^^  barring  out"  is  now  be- 
come matter  of  history.  Alas  I  we  shall  never 
go  back  to  the  good  old  times  in  that  respect, 
notwithstanding  we  are  again  snugly  grumbling 
under  a  Whig  government.  Let  us  place  at 
least  one  "  barring  out"  upon  record,  in  order 
to  let  the  radicals  see,  and  seeing  hope,  when 
they  find  how  nearly  extremes  meet,  what  a 
slight  step  there  is  from  absolute  despotism  to 
absolute  disorganization. 

Things  were  in  this  state,  the  bojrs  encou- 
raging each  other,  when,  to  our  astonishment, 
Mr.  Root,  newly-powdered,  and  attended  by 
two  friends,  his  neighbours,  made  his  appear- 
ance in  the  orchestra,  and  incontinently  began 
a  speech.  I  was  then  too  excited  to  attend  to 
it;  indeed  it  was  scarcely  heard  for  revilings 
and  shoutings.  However,  I  could  contain 
myself  no  longer,  and  I,  even  I,  though  far 
from  being  in  the  first  rank,  shouted  forth, 
"  Let  us  out,  or  we  will  set  fire  to  the  school- 
room, and,  if  we  are  burnt,  you'll  be  hung  for 
murder."  Yes,  I  said  those  words — I,  who  ac- 
tually now  start  at  my  own  shadow — I,  who 


BATTLIN,  THE  KERFBR.        141 

when  I  see  a  stalwart,  whiskered  and  mous- 
tached-fellow  coming  forward  to  meet  me,  mo- 
destly pop  over  on  the  other  side  —  I,  who  was 
in  a  fit  of  the  trembles  the  whole  year  of  the 
comet! 

<'  God  bless  me,**  said  Mr.  Root,  ''  it  is  that 
vagabond  Ratdin  !  I  flogged  the  little  incorri- 
gible but  eight  hours  ago^  and  now  he  talks 
about  burning  my  house  down.  There's  gra- 
titude for  you !  But  I'll  put  a  stop  to  this  at 
once — young  gentlemen,  I'll  put  a  stop  to  this 
at  once  !  Fm  coming  down  among  you  to  seize 
the  ringleaders,  and  that  good-for-nothing  Rat- 
tHn.  Ah !  the  monitors,  and  the  heads  of  all 
the  classes,  shall  be  flogged ;  the  rest  shall  be 
forgiven,  if  they  will  go  quietly  to  bed,  and 
give  up  all  their  fireworks."  Having  so  said, 
he  descended  from  above  with  his  friends,  and 
in  about  a  quarter  of  an  hour  afterwards,  armed 
with  a  tremendous  whip,  he  appeared  among 
his  satellites  below. 


142  B  ATT  LIN)    THE    BSSFSJl. 


CHAPTER  XV. 


Much  excellent^  and  consequentlj  useless,  diplomacj 
displayed — A  truce,  and  many  heads  broken — ^the 
battle  rages ;  and,  at  length,  the  pueriles  achieve 
the  victory. 

The  reader  must  not  suppose  that,  while  mas- 
ters and  scholars  were  ranged  against  each  other 
as  antagonists,  they  were  quiet  as  statues. 
There  was  much  said  on  both  sides,  reasonings^ 
entreaties,  expostulations,  and  even  jocularity 
passed  between  the  adverse,  but  yet  quiescent 
ranks.  In  this  wordy  warfare  the  boys  had  the 
best  of  it,  and  I'm  sure  the  ushers  had  no 
stomach  for  the  fray — if  they  fought,  they  must 
fight,  in  some  measure,  with  their  hands  tied ; 


BATTLHI,  THE  KttPSB.        14d 

for  their  own  judgment  told  them  that  they  could 
not  be  justified  in  inflicting  npon  dieir  <^po- 
nents  any  desperate  wounds.  In  fetct,  consider^ 
ing  all  the  drcumstancesi  though  they  asseve*- 
rated  that  the  boys  were  terribly  in  the  wrong, 
they  could  not  say  that  Mr.  Root  was  conspi- 
cuously in  the  right. 

When  Mr.  Root  got  among  his  myrmidcmsi 
he  resolutely  cried,  <<  Gentlemen  assistants, 
advance,  and  seize  Master  Atkinson,  Master 
Brewster,  Master  Davenant,  and  especially 
M^st^r  Ratdin;"  the  said  Master  Rattlin 
having  very  officiously  wriggled  himself  into 
the  first  rank.  Such  is  the  sanctity  of  estar 
Idtthed  authority,  that  we  actually  gave  back, 
inih  serried  files  however,  as  our  opponentis 
advanced.  All  had  now  been  lost,  even  our 
henoor,  had  it  not  been  for  the  gallant  conduct 
of  young  Henry  St  Albans,  a  natural  son  of 

the  Duke  of  Y ,  who  was  destined  for  the 

ann]r>  and,  at  that  time,  studying  fortification, 
md  to  some  purpose — for,  immediately  behind 
oor  front  ranks,  and  while  Mr.  Root  was 
haranguing   and   advancing,    St    Albans    had 


d 


i14  B^TT^W  Tll«  »SfiUU 

Banged  the  deaksqiute  actoar  ithe  mom^ruf  tiwo 
tien%  one  above  the  other ;« the  T^pctrti^'With 
their,  legs  in  the  air,  no  bad  aitWtittitaB  ^lor 
ehevufM'de-fiize*  In  £act,  this  manceitvr^ 'Wttn 
an  anticipation  of  the  barricades  of  Pttil: 
When  the  boys  came  to  the  obstaole,'  th^ 
made  no  difficulty  of  creeping  under  otpsm^ng 
over  it— ^ but  for  the  magisterial  Mr;  'iUot, 
fyiy  powdered;  or  the  classical  master,  fuR  <^ 
Greek ;  or  the  mathematical  master,  conacioitt 
of  much  algebra,  to  creep  under,  these  doeksi 
would  have  been  infra  dig.,  and  fbr  tiiem  'to 
have  leapt  over  was  impossible.  Tlie  youngei^ 
assistants  might  certainly  have  pe^fonned  th^ 
feat,  but  they  would  have  been  but  soiinrily 
treated  for  their  trouble,  on  the  wrong  ride  ## 
the  barrioada  .     i.^ 

When  two  antagonist  bodies  cannot'  figlrt^ 
it  ia  no  bad  pastime  to  parley.  St  Albem  Iraa 
simultaneously  and  unanimously  voted  leadaiv 
though' we  had  many  older  than  he,  for  he^wiif 
but  eighteen.  A  glorious  youth  was'tbat' Str^ 
Albanaii.  .Acaofflaijilished,  generous,  br^ve^ifaaiMlM 
some,  as  aie  all  his  race,  and  of  the  most  Uetnd 


BATTtm,   tHE   KRtFfcflU  145 

and  funny  mtmxaen  that  ever  won  woman's  love 
6r  aoftened  man's  asperity.  He  died  young — 
where  ?  Where  should  he  have  died,  since  this 
werld  was  deemed  by  Providence  not  deserving 
of  biio,  but  amidst  the  enemies  of  his  country, 
her  banners  waving  victoriously  above,  and  her 
en^Bsies  flying  before,  his  bleeding  body  ? 

Henry  now  stood  forward  as  our  leader  and 
spokesman :  eloquently  did  he  descant  upon  all 
our  grievances,  not  forgetting  mouldy  bread, 
caggy  mutton,  and  hebdomadal  meat  pies.  He 
represented  to  Mr.  Root  the  little  honour  that 
be  would  gain  in  the  contest,  and  the  certain 
loss — the  damage  to  his  property,  and  to  his 
reputation — the  loss  of  scholars,  and  of  profit ; 
and  he  begged  him  to  remember  that  every 
play-box  in  the  school-room  was  filled  with 
fireworks,  and  that  they  were  all  determined, — 
and  sorry  he  was  in  this  case  to  be  obliged  to 
uphdd  such  a  determination, — they  were  one  and 
all  resolved,  if  permission  were  not  given  to  let 
off  the  fireworiis  out  of  doors,  they  would  in — 
the  eonsequenoes  be  on  Mr.  Root's  head.    His 

VOI^  I.  H 


146        RATTLINi  THE  BEKFSB. 

speech  was  concluded  amidst  continued  ^  brar 
vosP*  and  shouts  of  "  Now,  now !" 

Old  R Ids,  our  classic,  quietly  stood  by, 

and,  taking  snuff  by  handfuls,  requested,  nay 
entreated  Mr.  Root  to  pass  it  all  off  as  a  joke, 
and  let  the  bojrs,  with  due  restrictions,  have 
their  wilL  Mr.  Root,  with  a  queer  attempt  at 
looking  pleasant,  then  said,  *<  He  began  to  enter 
into  the  spirit  of  the  thing — it  was  well  got 
up— there  could  be  nothing  really  disrespectful 
meant,  since  Mr.  Henry  St  Albans  waa  a 
party  to  it,  (be  it  known  that  Henry  was  aa 
especial  favourite,)  and  that  he  was  inclined  to 
humour  them,  and  look  upon  the  school  in  the 
light  of  a  fortress  al^ut  to  capitulate.  He 
therefore  would  receive  a  flag  of  truce,  and 
listen  to  proposals." 

The  boys  began  to  be  delighted.  The  fol- 
lowing conditions  were  drawn  up,  and  a  lad, 
with  a  white  handkerchief  tied  to  a  sky-rodLet 
stick,  wa(6  hoisted  over  the  bench  into  <  the 
besieging  quarters.  The  paper,  after  reciting 
(as  is  usual  with  all  rebels  in  arms  against 


( .  ^ 


BATTLIK,  THE  SBEFEB.        147 

kwfvd  flovereign)  their  unshaken  lojralty,  firm 
obedience,  and  unqualified  devotion,  went  on 
thufl**^biit  we  shall^  to  save  time,  put  to  each 
proportion  the  answer  returned : — 

1.  Tlie  young  gentlemen  shall  be  permitted, 
as  in  times  past,  to  discharge  their  fireworks 
round  what  remains  of  die  bonfire,  between  the 
honrs  of  nine  and  eleven  o'clock. 

Am9,  Granted,  with  this  limitation,  that  all 
young  gendemen  under  the  age  of  nine,  shall 
surrender  their  fireworks  to  the  elder  boys,  and 
stand  to  see  the  display  without  the  fenoe. 

%  Thai  any  damage  or  injury  caused  by 
the  .  said  display  to  Mr.  Root's  premises, 
fttces,  &&,  shall  be  made  good  by  a  subscript 
tien  of  die  sdiooL 

An9.  Granted. 

&  It  now  bmig  nearly  eight  o'clock,  the 
yonng  gentlemen  shall  have  their  usual  sup* 
persk 

;  jlfUiOraiited. 

.'4.>Thai  a  general  amnesty  shall  be  pro-* 
ohimedt  and  diat  no  person  or  persons  shall 
suffer  in   an}   manner  whatever,  for  the  part 

H  2 


148  RA^'TTLlil,    THE    IBi'Eli^M. 

ttat  he  or  they  miiy'have  takeh  m  thii  thoii^ht- 
less  resistance.  '     " 

Jns.  Granted,  with  the  exception  of  Meters 
Atkinson,  Brewster,  Davenant,  and  Raitlih. ' 

Upon  the  last  article  issue  was  joinied,  the 
flag  of  truce  still  flying  during  the  debate. 
The  very  pith  of  the  thing  was  the  act  of  fdll 
amnesty  and  oblivion.  Yet  so  eager  were  ndw 
the  majority  of  the  boys  for  their  amusement, 
that  had  it  not  been  for  the  noble  firmness  of 
6t  Albans,  the  leaders,  with  poor  Pilgarlick, 
would  have  been  certainly  sacrificed  id  their 
lust  of  pleasure.  But  the  affair  wad  soon 
l)rought  to  a  crisis.  All  this  acting  thief  mili- 
tary pleased  me  most  mightily,  and  the  b^ttet 
to  enjoy  it,  I  crouched  under  one  of  the  desks 
that  formed  the  barricade,  and,  with  my  head 
and  shoulders  thrust  into  the  enem/s  quairterd, 
sat  grinning  forth  my  satis&ction. 

The  last  clause  was  still  canvalssing,  when, 
unheard  of  treachery !  Mr.  Root,  seeiBg  'bis 
victim  so  near,  seized  me  by'  the  eafs,'  and 
attempted  to  lug  ine  away  captive.  *  My 
schoblf^Udws  attemtpted  to  draw  me  b«ek.^  '!$t 


BATTLIN,   THE   BE£F£B«  14^ 

Albai^ .  proteatec)— even  sop^ie  of  the  masters 
said  ^*  shame  T  when  Mr.  Root,  finding  he 
CQuld  I  n<^.  succeed,  gave  me  a  most  swinging 
slap  of  the. fac^  as  a  parting  benediction,  and 
reUnquished  his  grasp.  No  Booner  did  I  fairly 
find  myself  on  the  right  side  of  the  barricad^^ 
thim,  all  my  terrors  overcome  by  pain,  I  seized 
an  inkstand  and  discharged  it  point  blank  at 
the  fleecy  cinrls  of  the  ferulafer  with  an  un- 
lucky fatality  of  aim  !  Mr.  Roofs  armorial 
bearings  were  now,  at  least  on  his  crest,  blanche 
chequered  notr. 

^^On,.my  lads,  on!"  exclaimed  the  gallant 
3t  Albans;  the  barricades  were  scaled  in  an 
instant,  and  we  were  at  fisty  cufis  with  our 
fpep.  Rulers  flew  obliquely,  perpendicularly, 
W^  horizontally — inkstands  made  ink-spouts  in 
the  air,  ^th  their  dark  gyrations — books,  that 
the  authors  had  done  their  best,  to  fasten  on 
their  shelve  peacefully  for  ever,  for  once 
^Ciii9»e<  lively,,  and ^ made,  an  impression.  I 
must-^lQ'  Mx«  Root,  the  justice  to  ^ay^  that  he 
(Mre  hiiagi4]b.ntly  i^  th^meUei  His  white  ^nd 
bbckiM^  iPPPP^  hi^^r,  wd  ^t^tJ^^er;,  fljBd  the 


IM  MATTLIK,   THE  itS^FER. 

8tnack  of  his  whip  resounded  horriU^  atMng 
the  shins  of  his  foes. 

Old  R ^Ids  not,  even  in  battle^  being  sUe 

to  resist  the  inveteracy  of  habit,  had  the  con^ 
tents  of  his  large  snuff-mull  forced  into  his  ejr^s, 
ere  twenty  strokes  were  struck*  He  ran  roar- 
ing and  prophesying,  like  blind  Hresias,  among 
both  parties,  and  as  a  prophet  we  respected 
him.  The  French  master  being  very  obese 
was  soon  borne  down,  and  there  he  lay  sprawU 
ing  and  oalling  upon  glory  and  la  belle  Franeej 
whilst  both  sides  passed  over  him  by  turns, 
gi^ng  him  only  an  occasional  kick  when  they 
foimd  him  in  their  way.  It  is  said  of  Mr. 
Simp — n,  the  mathematical  master — but  I  will 
not  vouch  for  the  truth  of  the  account,  for  it 
seems  too  Homeric — that  being  hard  pressed,  be 
seized,  and  lifted  up  the  celestial  globe,  where- 
with to  beat  down  his  opponents,  but  being'  a 
very  absent  man,  and  the  ruling  passion  being 
always  dreadfully  strong  upon  him,  he  began, 
instead  of  striking  down  his  adversaries,  to  solve 
a  problem  upon  it,  but,  before  he  had  found  the 
value  of  a  single  tangent,  the  orb  was  beaten 


EATTLIK,    THE   AB^YSi.  lA) 

to  pieces,  about  his  skul]»  and  he  then  saw  more 
stars  in  his  eyes  than  ever  twinkled  in  the 
Milky  Way.  In  less  than  two  minutes,  Mr. 
Root  to  his  crest  added  guks — ^his  nose  spouted 
hlood,  his  eyes  were  blackened,  and  those 
beautiful  teeth,  of  which  he  was  so  proud,  were 
alarmingly  loosened. 

For  myself  I  did  not  do  much — I  could  not 
— I  could  not  for  very  rapture.  I  danced  and 
shouted  in  all  the  madness  of  exhilaration.  I 
tasted  then,  for  the  first  time,  the  fierce  and 
delirious  poison  of  contention.  Had  the  battle- 
cry  been  "  A  Rattlin !"  instead  of  «  A  St  Al- 
bans r  I  could  not, have  been  more  elated.  The 
joy  of  battle  to  the  yoimg  heart  is  like  water 
to  the  sands  of  the  desert— which  cannot  be 
satiated. 

In  much  less  than  three  minutes  the  position 
under  the  gallery  was  carried.  Root  and  the 
masters  made  good  their  retreat  through  the 
door,  and  barricadoed  it  strongly  on  the  out- 
side—*so  that,  if  we  could  .boast  of  having  bar- 
r€fd  him  out,  he  could  boast  equally  of  having 
bsMrred  us  in.     We  made  three  prisoners,  Mr. 


Ta2 


/iBAniilNt^  THa  JUUMTIUI. 


R Ids,  Mr.  Moineau,  and  a  lanky,  sneak- 
ing, tumip-complexioned,  under  usher,  who 
used  to  write  execrable  verses  to  the  sickly 
housemaid,  and  borrow  half-crowns  of  the  sim- 
ple wench,  wherewith  to  ^buy  pomatum  to 
plaister  his  thin,  lank  hair.  He  was  a  known 
sneak,  and  a  suspected  tell-tale.  The  booby 
fell  a-crying  in  a  dark  comer,  and  we  took  him 
with  his  handkerchief  to  his  eyes.  Out  of  the 
respect  that  we  bore  our  French  and  Latin 
masters,  we  gave  them  their  liberty,  the  door 
being  set  a-jar  for  that  purpose,  but  we  reserved 
the  usher,  that,  like  the  American  Indians,  we 
might  make  sport  with  him. 


i^iHmeiif^  ^Hir  ^UMtPmn.  lifid 


Wk-h*^    .//♦*.» .     •     J  .;i; 

.1   ' 

•  •  »■  ■  1    ;  1  / 

■i/ 

.-'if 

•'ii/'    .*Kf.-,.    T., ... ,. 

■ 

. 

1  *      * 

.  ■  ■ » 

/M.I"-     "it     .     - 

•  »•■■. 

oil  -      .•;           •     ■ 

■  ■••  lii 

•t        .:.■..-■.        . 

.«.■ 

CHAPTER  XVI. 


An  afTettfng  appeal  that  effects  nothings— The  rebels 

-  eobimence  their   rejoicings  —  They  are  suddeifly 

„4amped  —  The   firemen    defeat    the   fire-boys    hy 

means  of  water— The  victors  are  vanquished,  who 

shortly  find  themselves  covered  with  disgrace  and 

the  bed-clothes. 


I ' 


When  we  informed  the  captive  usher  that  he 
was  destined  for  the  high  honour  of  being  our 
Guy  Faux,  and  that  he  should  be  the  centre  of 
our  fireworks,  promising  him  to  bum  him  as 
little  as  we  could  help,  and  as  could  reasonably 
be  expected,  his  terror  was  extreme,  and  he 
begged,  like  one  in  the  agonies  of  death,  that 
we  would  rather  bump  him.  We  granted  his 
request,  for  we  determined  to  be  magnanimous, 
and  he  really  bore  it  like  a  stoic. 

h5 


The  beauty  of  the  scene  is  t6  come  y^t 
l^carcely  had  we 'finished  With  Ae  ush^r,  ihah 
Mrs.  Root,  "  Kke  Niobe,  all  in  tears,*'  apjpeaned 
with  out-stretched  arms  in  the  gallery.  He^- 
out-stretched  arms,  her  pathetic  appeals,  her 
sugared  promises,  had  no  avail, —  the  simple 
lady  wanted  us  to  go  to  bed,  and  Mr.  Root, 
to  use  her  own  expression,  should  let  us  all  off 
to-morrow.  We  were  determined  to  stay  up, 
and  let  aD  our  fireworks  off  to-night.  But  we 
granted  to  her  intercession,  that  all  the  little 
boys  should  be  given  up  to  her. 

It  now  became  a  very  difficult  thing  to  ascei^ 
tain  who  was  a  little  boy.  Many  a  diminutive 
urchin  of  eight,  with  a  stout  soul,  declared  that 
he  was  a  big  fellow,  and  several  lanky  lads 
with  sops  of  bread  for  hearts,  called  themselves 
little  boys.  There  was,  as  I  said  before,  no 
communication  from  the  school-room  with  the 
orchestra;  we  were  therefore  obliged  to  pile 
the  desks  as  a  platform,  and  hand  up  the 
chicken-hearted  to  take  protection  under  the 
wing  of  the  old  hen. 

Our  captive  usher  respectfully  begged  to  ob- 


8«rve  that,  though  he  could  not  say  that  he  was 
e^KActly  a  little  boy,  yet  if  it  pleased  us,  he  would 
much  rather  go  to  bed,  as  he  had  lately  taken 
physic.  The  plea  was  granted,  but  not  the  pl^t- 
form.  That  was  withdrawn,  and  he  was  forced 
to  climb  up  one  of  the  pillars ;  and  as  we  were 
charitably  inclined,  we  lent  him  all  the  impetus 
we  could,  by  sundry  appliances  of  switches  and 
rulersf  ia  order  to  excite  a  rapid  circulation  in 
those  parts  that  would  most  expedite  his  up- 
ward propulsion,  upon  the  same  principles  that 
cause  us  to  fire  one  extremity  of  a  gun,  in 
oxder  to  propel  the  ball  from  the  other.  He  hav- 
ing been  gathered  with  the  rest  round  Mrs.  Root, 
she  actually  made  us  a  curtsey  in  the  midst 
of  her  tears,  and  smiled  as  she  curtseyed,  bid* 
dmg  us  all  a  good  night,  to  be  good  boys,  to 
do  no  mischief^  and,  above  all,  to  take  care  of 
the  fire.  Then,  having  obtained  from  us  a  pro- 
mise that  we  would  neither  injure  the  organ, 
nor  attempt  to  get  into  the  orchestra,  she  again 
curtseyed,  and  left  us  masters  of  the  field. 

Now  the  debate  was  frequent  and  full.     We 
had  rebelled,  and  won  the  field  of  rebellion  in 


*%•• 


order  to  bb  <enabfed<  to.  di0eblMfge»ft>ur.ifirf^(Wh|. 
Hhe' thought  of  desoendiDg  bjr^inei^stt^,  t|^ 
Windows  was*  soon  abandoned...  .; We/  iJbKMll^ 
have  been  taken  in  the  detail^  ev^en.if  vm  i^ 
oaped  breaking  our  bones.  We  w^^.,  cooM- 
pelled  to  use  the  school-room  for.  the  spucklisfg 
display,  and,  all  under  the  directioitB  of  St.  iUr 
batos,  we  b^an  to  prepare  accordingly*:  .  '      ni. 

Would  diat  I  had  been  the^  hero  of  that 
nij^t ! '  Though  I  did  not  perform  the  deeds^ 
I ^  felt  all  the  glow  of  one;  and^  unexpected 
honour  !  I  was  actually  addressed  by  Henry  St 
Albans  himself,  as  ^^  honest  Ralph  Rattlin^.the 
brave  boy  who  slept  in  the  haunted  pooq^/' 
There  was  a  distinction  for  you!  Of  couj^ 
i  cannot  tell  how  an  old  gentleman,  riBuig 
sixty-five,  feels  when  his  sovereign  places  the 
blue  ribbon  over  his  stooping  shoidders,  but 
if  he  enjoys  half  the  rapture  I  then  did,  he 
must  be  a  very,  very  happy  old  man. 

Revenoris  a  nos  moutons  — which  phrase  I 
use  on  account  of  its  originality,  and  its  appli- 
cability to  fireworks.  Nails  were  driven  into 
the  walls,  and  Catherine  wheels  fixed  on  theni ; 


Rbnitfn  -  <^atidle«  pUoed  >  upoii  tibe  tables  instead 
<il*  nhattdti  ^p4  aod*  die  Upper  parts  of.  die 
^siAtkA  wiliclows  let  down  for  the  free  egrets  i  of 
oar  flights  of  sky^tockets.  The  first  volley  of 
tbb  lasl^mentioned  beaudfiil  firework  wfnt 
tbroiigfa  the  windows,  amidst  our  huzzas,  at.ai^ 
fliigle  "of  about  sixty-five  degrees,  and  did.  ti^xar 
duty  nobly;,  when — ^when — of  course,  the  reader 
win  think  that  the  room  was  on  fir&  iUas  I 
it  was  quite  the  reverse.  A  noble  CatheriM 
Wheel  had  just  begun  to  fizz,  in  all  the  glories 
of  itS'  many-coloured  fires,  when,  horror,  dis^ 
may,  confusion  !  half  a  dozen  firemen,  with 
their  hateful  badges  upon  their  arms,  made  their 
appearance  in  the  orchestra,  and  the  long 
leathern  tube  being  soon  adjusted,  the  brazen 
spout  began  playing  upon  ns  and  the  Cadie- 
rine  wheel,  amidst  the  laughter  of  the  men,  in 
which  even  we  participated,  whilst  we  heard 
the  clank,  clank,  clank,  of  the  infernal  machine 
working  in  the  play-ground.  Mr.  Root  was 
not  simple  enough  to  permit  his  house  to  be 
burned   dovm   with   impunity;    and,   since  he 


158        RATTLIN,  THE  SE£F£R« 

found  he  could  do  no  better,  he  resolved,  ta 
throw  cold  water  upon  our  proceeduigB.  .v*-. 

The  school-room  door  was  now  thrown  opm^ 
to  permit  us  to  go  out  if  we  pleased,  but  w»: 
chose  to  remain  where  we  were,  for  the  wmiilt' 
reason,  that  we  did  not  know  whoxii  we  mi^itx 
meet  on  the  stairs.    We  had  agreed,  under  ihiB. 
directions  of  St.  Albans,  to  let  ofF  our  firewodti 
\vith  some  order;    but  now,   instead  of  plaf-^' 
things  for  amusement,  they  were  .turned  into 
engines  of  oiFcncc.     Showers  of  squibs,  crack0i% 
and  every  species  of  combustible  were  hurled  at 
our  opponents  above  us.     It  was  the  struggle' 
of  fire  with  water ;  but  that  cold  and  power&il 
stream  played  continuously;'  wherever  it  met 
us  it  took  away  our  breath,  and  forced  us  to 
the  ground,  yet  we  bore  up  gallantly,  and  the 
rockets  that  we  tlirected  into  the  orchestra  very 
often  drove  our  enemies  back,  and  would  have 
severely  injured  the  organ,  had  they  not  covered 
it  witli  blankets. 

We  advanced  our  desks  near  the  gallery,  to 
use  them  as  scaling-ladders  to  storm;   but  it 


EATTLIK,  THE   BBBrXE*  \BQ 

would  not  doy  they  were  not  soficieiitly  higlif  • 
and  the  stream  dashed  the  strongest  of  us  bacL 
However, -we  plied  our  fiery  missiles  as  long  as 
theylasted ;  but  the  water  never  fiedled — ^its  an- 
tagonist element  did  too  soon.  Whilst  it  la8ted» 
considering  there  was  no  slaughter,  it  was  a  very 
glorious  onslaught. 

Ld  one  short  half-hour  we  were  redueed. 
Drowned,  burnt,  blackened — looking  very  fool«* 
ish,  and  fearing  very  considerably,  we  now 
approached  the  door:  it  was  still  open — no 
attempt  to  capture  any  one — no  opposition  waa 
offered  to  us ;  but  the  worst  of  it  was,  we  were 
oUiged  to  sneak  through  files  of  deriding  neigh- 
bours and  servants,  and  we  each  crept  to  bed, 
like  a  dog  that  had  stolen  a  pudding,  anything 
but  satisfied  with  our  exploits,  or«  the  termina* 
tuHi  of  them. 

St  Albans  would  not  forgive  himseli  He 
heaped  immeasurable  shame  upon  his  own  head, 
because  he  had  not  secured  the  orchestra.  He 
declared  he  had  no  military  genius.  He  would 
bind  himself  an  apprentice  to  a  country  car- 
penter,  and   make  pigstyes  — he  would  turn 


i 


1M> 


tt4VDI4KK)  xflME  >WK9«». 


usher,  and  the  boys  should  bump  him   for  an 
ass — he  would  run  away.     He  did  the  latter. 

Leaving  the  firemen  to  see  all  safe,  Mr.  Root 
to  deplore  his  defaced  school-room  and  his  de« 
stroyed  property,  Mrs.  Root  to  prepare  for  an 
immensity  of  cases  of ,  cold,  and  burnt  faces  and 
hands, — I  shall  here  conclude  the  history  of  the 
famous  barring  out  of  the  fifth  of  November, 
of  the  year  of  grace,  18 — .  If  it  had  not  all 
the  pleasures  of  a  real  siege  and  battle,  except- 
ing actual  slaughter,  I  don't  know  what  pleasure 
is ;  and  the  reader  by^and-bye  will  find  out  that 
I  had  afterwards  opportunities  enough  of  judg- 
ing upon  this  sort  of  kingly  pastimes,  in  which 
the  cutting  of  throats  was  not  omitted. 


I .  ■ 


n 


^    .-  0 


>  1  ■  -  ■  1  .* 


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hin,   -••It  '    f. 


CHAPTER  XVir, 


I 


•.    I- 


•'•.  if  I 


.•  •  e 


•  ;■ 


>ii 


'i.f 
1. 


la^iiU'of  inonil  and  religious  diaquisitions,  therefore,  {| 
.  f>etiQTjetk  the  general  reader  to  look  at  and  pass  ^\^ 
,  by  with.  th4t  inattention  that  readers  generally  have 
for  morality  and  religion. 


•  I 


If  we  may  judge  from  the  expressed  sentuBfiesils 
of  the  first  general  of  any  age,  the  feelings  and 
retrospections  after  a  splendid  victory  are  any- 
thing but  exhilarating.  Indeed,  our  hero  has 
not  only  fought  many  good  battles,  but  s^d  a 
few  good  things.  When,  after  the  achievement 
of  Waterloo,  he  exclaimed  that  the  victory  was 
only  less  to  be  deplored  than  the  defeat,  he 
spoke  at  once  with  the  sublimity  of  the  Chris- 
tian and  the  depth  of  the  philosopher.      If, 


then,  seeing  it  involves  so  many  distressing  con- 
tingencies, even  a  victory  gives  but  little  satis- 
faction, a  drawn  battle  must  consequently  give 
much  less.  We  will  not  say  one  single  word  pf 
a  defeat  We,  of  the  academy,  would  never 
acknowledge  so  much  shame  as  that  word 
represses.  It  was  a  drawn  battle  in  every  sense. 
Had  we  not  drawn  the  ma^terial  blood  of  Mr. 
Root?  Had  not  Mr.  Root,  in  return,  drawn  off 
all  the  disposable  water  on  his  premises  ?  Had 
we  not,  at  the  end  of  the  affiray,  drawn  off  our 
forces  unmolested  ?  Neither  party  occupied  the 
field  of  battle,  that  incontestable  proof  of  victory. 
Certcdnly  it  was  a  drawn  battle. 

The  fastidious  may  call  all  this  a  mere  quib- 
bling upon  words— but  unjustly :  did  they 
ever  read  the  despatches  of  two  contending 
powers,  neither  of  which  has  much  to  boast  of 
excepting  honourable  blows — ^it  will  then  be 
perceived  that  they  make  out  their  case  in  no 
manner  more  effectually  than  I  have  done  mine* 
There  is  much  virtue  in  the  artful  construction 
of  words. 

When  the  boys  came  down  stairs  there   was 


at^  eottrfoitleis  a  soeiM  displayed  hetare  Aemi  aa 
die^  ^moet  retributive  justice  could  have  ffished 
ta  Tisit  on  the  rebellious.  The  morning  raw 
dud  >cold,  die  floor  saturated  with  water,  and 
oovered  with  cases  of  exploded  fireworks ;  Ae 
sdiool-room  in  horrible  confusion,  scarcely  a 
pane  of  glass  unshattered-— the  walls  blackened, 
the  books  torn-- and  then  the  masters  and 
ashers  stde  in,  looking  both  suspicious  and 
discomfited  Well,  we  went  to  prayers,  and 
very  lugubriously  indeed  did  we  sing  the 
bylnn, 

''  Awake,  my  soul,  and  with  the  sun 
Thy  daily  course  of  duty  run." 

Now,  that  morning,  no  one  could  tell  whether 
the  sun  had  waked  or  not,  at  least  he  kept  his 
bed-curtsinB  of  fog  closely  drawn;  and  about 
twenty-'five  of  the  scholars  gave  a  new  readii^ 
to  *Hhy  daily  course  of  duty  run,''  as,  imme^ 
diately  after  they  had  paid  their  doleful 
orisonSi  they  took  the  course  of  running  their 
duty  by  running  away.    There  were  no  classes 


4 


J<84  BATTLKK,  1 7fi£  ^XEFKE. 

that  day.  Mr«i  Root  did  not 'maker  ins-'Appear- 
flUco-— and  we  had  a  (KmBtrained  hoKdAy.  ^  •; 
.^  On  tlio7th,  to  use  a  nautical  expresmoiB^  fv4 
had  repaired  damages,  and  we  began  to  fall 
into  the  usual  routine  of  scholastic  business — 
but  it  was  full  a  week  before  our  master  made 
his  appearance  in  the  school-room,  and  he  did 
80  '  then  with  a  green  shade  over  his  eyes^  to 
conceal  the  green  shades  under  them.  He 
came  in  at  the  usual  hour  of  noon— die  black 
list  was  handed  up  to  him — and  1  cKpected,  in 
the  usual  order  of  things,  an  assiduous  flogging. 
But  in  this  world  we  are  the  martyrs  of  disap- 
pointment The  awful  man  folded  up  the 
paper  very  melancholily,  and  thrust  it  into  his 
waistcoat  pocket,  and  thus  saved  me  the 
expense  of  some  very  excellent  magnanimity, 
which  I  had  determined  to  display,  had  he  pro« 
ceeded  to  flagellation.  It  was  my  intention, 
very  intrepidly,  to  have  told  him,  thslt  if  fa4 
pmaisbed  me,  I  alsd  would  run  awayl  On  the 
veracity  of  a  schoiolboy,  I  was  disappointed- -at 
n6t  receiving  my  diree  or  four  dozen.  " 


.i(il^«d.iiowiuily  ooimnenced  qijf  enthueiasHe 
epoch.  Ihwafl  somebody.  I  still  slept  in  tiw 
bausited^  room.  I  bad  struck  die  first  blovi^  in 
die  barrijQg  out — St.  Albans  bad  openly  com^ 
mended  me  for  my  bravery — I  could  no  longer 
despise  myself  and  the  natural  consequence 
was,  that  others  dared  not  I  ftnrmed  friend*- 
ships,  evanescent  certainly,  but  very  sweet,  and 
v^ty  sincere.  Several  of  the  young  gentlemen 
promised  to  prevail  upon  their  parents  to  invite 
me  to  their  homes,  during  the  approaching 
holidays ;  but  either  their  memories  were  weak^ 
or  their  feithers  obdurate.  : 

.  Well,  the  winter  holidays  came  at  last,  and  I 
was  left  sole  inhabitant  of  that  vast  and  loody 
sdioolrrooiD,  with  one  fire  for  my  solace,  and 
one  tenpenny  dip  for  my  enlightenment.  How 
awful  and  supernatural  seemed  every  passing 
aouadi  that  beat  upon  my  anxious  ears ! 
Evarytbing  round  me  seemed  magnified-^Uie 
mussj^ve  shadoFS  were  as  the  wombs  teeming 
witb.'Unea^rthly  phantomfrrn-the  whistle  <rfi  the 
wintry  blasts  against:  the.  windows^  voiced  the 
half  unseen  beings  that  my  fears  acknowledged 


l$§  RATTI4K,   THE   BESFfiR, 

ig  the  <]eep  darkneaeeB  of  tbe ,  vaet  jchambeiv 
And  then  that  lonely  orcbestfay-^^-often  did"! 
think  that  I  heard  low  music  from  the  etgan, 
a»  if  touched  by  ghostly  fingeis — ^how  gladly 
I  would  have  sunk  down  from  my  solitlide  to 
the  vulgarity  of  the  servants^  faall--^but  that 
was  now  carefully  interdicted  The-  rcoiifle^ 
quences  of  all  this  seclusion  to  a  highly  imaginar 
tive^  and  totally  unregulated  mind,  must  have 
been  much  worse  than  putting  me  to  sleep  in 
the  haunted  room»  for  in  that  I  had  my 
counter  spell — ^and  long  use  had  almost  endeam 
ed  me  to  it  and  its  grotesque  carvings^^ 
but  this  dismally  large  school-room,  generally 
so  instinct  with  life,  so  superabounding  in  ani^ 
nation,  was  painfully  fearful,  even  from  the 
contrast  Twenty  times  in  the  evening,  wl^en 
the  cold  blast  came  creeping  along  the  'floor; 
and  wound  round  my  ankles,  did  I  inlagirid  it 
was  the  chill  hand  of  some  corpse,  thrust'  up 
ttoiA  beneath,  that  was  seizing  me,  in  order 'tD 
drag  me  downwards^-^-and  e  hundred  timf  s,  as 
the  long  flame  from  the  candle  flared  U]^  tremi»* 
Idusty,  and  diook  the  deep  shadows  thai;  encoBh* 


BAm.IK,   THE    «KEFleE..  167 

passed  me  around,  did  I  fancy  tiiat  there  were 
Very  hideous  faces  indeed  mouthing  at  me 
anddet  the  gloom — and  my  own  gigantic 
lAiadow — it  was  a  vast  horror  of  itself  personi- 
fied! It  was  a  cruel  thing,  even  in  Mr.  Root^ 
to  leave  me  alone  so  many  hours  in  Aat  stu- 
pendous gloom,  but  his  wife — ^fie  upon  her! 

Considering  how  my  imagination  had  been 
before  worked  upon,  even  from  my  earliest 
childhood,  and  the  great  nervous  excitability  of 
my  temperament,  it  is  a  wonder  that  my  mind 
did  not  reel,  if  not  succumb— but  I  now  began 
to  combat  the  approaches  of  one  sort  of  insa- 
nity with  the  actual  presence  of  another — / 
wrote  verses.  That  was  ^<  tempering  the  wind 
to  the  shorn  lamb,*^  as  Sterne  would  have 
expressed  it,  after  the  prettiest  fashion  imagi- 
nable. 

'  Qad  I  not  the  reader  so  completely  at  my 
merc^-^did  I  not  think  him  or  her  not  only 
the  gbntlest  but  also  the  most  deserving  of  all 
the  progeny  of  Japhet — did  I  not  think  that 
it  wiimld '  b4^  the  very  acm6  of  ingratitude  to 
mfffom  upon  him  or  hery  I  woold  certainly 


d 


168       RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

transcribe  a  centaine,  or  so,  of  these  juvenile 
poems.  It  is  true,  they  are  very  bad — but 
then  that  is  a  proof  that  they  are  undeniably 
genuine.  I  really  have,  in  some  things,  a  great- 
ness of  souL  I  will  refrain — but  in  order  that 
these  effusions  may  not  be  lost  to  the  world, 
I  offer  them  to  the  annuals  for  1837;  not 
so  much  for  the  sake  of  pecuniary  compen- 
sation, but  in  order  to  improve  the  reading 
of  some  of  that  very  unreadable  class  of 
books. 

Well,  during  these  dismal  holidays,  I  wrote 
verses;  and  began  to  take,  or  to  make,  my 
madness  methodical.  The  boys  came  back, 
and  having  left  me  a  very  Bobadil,  they  now 
found  me  a  juvenile  Bavius ;  not  quite  so  bad 
as  a  juvenile  Whig,  however,  for  I  could  boast 
of  being  able  to  rhyme  ghost  with  twelve  words 
at  most  Oh !  but  I  became  a  lad  of  great 
consideration. 

I  wish  much  to  hurry  over  this  part  of  my 
life,  but  I  should  not  be  using  those  philoso- 
phical geniuses  well,  who  love  to  study  all  the 
vagaries  of  the  human   mind,   did  I   omit   to 


deecr^  a  vety  peculiar  hanncxnation  liiat  beM 
"Alb  moat  despotic  sway  over  me  for  more  ihaa 
a  ^montib.  This  phase  of  mental  asaomtions 
was  80  ODgalar  and  so  perfect,  and  will  be 
^wed  in  such  different  lights  by  persons  as 
ihejr  are  biassed  by  education  or  by  prejudice^ 
diat  I  €hall  merely  confine  myself  to  the  fact, 
and  leave  others  to  pronounce  an  ojnnion  upon 
It  -  I  only  beg  leave  most  solemnly  to  asseverate 
that  what  I  am  gomg  to  state  is  unexaggerated 
truth. 

•  I  wapB  at  this  period  nearly  in  my  thirteenth 
year,  and,  what  with  my  rhyming  and  my 
fistic&l  prowess, — ^my  character  for  bravery,  and 
die  peeuliarity  of  my  situation,  as  it  r^arded 
its  mystery-^— I  became  that  absurd  thing  that 
the  French  call  ''  une  tite  mcniee.^  Whea 
persmis  act  much,  they  aoon  find  it  necessary  to 
reason:  I  was  thus  fwced,  in  order  to  j^-eserve 
my  position,  to  become  irrationally  rational 
Raot  had  ceased  to  flog  m&  I  could  discover 
dMKt  htti  even  began  to  fear  me««-and  just  in  pro* 
portMi  lUi  he  aeemed  to  avoid  all  oooasioii  to 
punidi  <  nie,:  I  became  towards  hint  nHU,t  ob» 

vou  I.  I 


i 


170  BATTLIN,    THE    BEEFF.R. 

servant,  and  respectfiiL    The  consequence  was, 
that,  as  I  was  no  longer  frightened  out  of  my 
wits  at  church;  from  very  weariness,  and  for 
the  sake  of  variety,  I  began  to  attend  to  the 
sermons.     What  a  lesson  ought  not  this  to  be 
to  instructors  !     One  Sunday,  I  returned  from 
church  in  a  state  of  almost  spiritual  intoxica- 
tion.    The  rector  was  a  pale,  attenuated  man, 
mth  a  hollow,  yet  flashing  eye — a  man  who 
seemed  to  have  done  with  everything  in  this 
world,  excepting  to  urge  on  his  brethren  to  that 
better  one,  to  which  himself  was  £ast  hastening; 
and,    on   this  memorable   day,   that   I   fsmcied 
myself  a  convert,  he  had   been  descanting  on 
the  life  of  the  young  SamueL     Of  course  he, 
very  appropriately,  often  turned  to  the  juvenile 
part  of  his  congregation;  and  as  1  was  seated 
in  the  front  row,  I  felt  as  if  I  were  alone  in  the 
church — as  if  every  word  were  individually  ad- 
dressed to   myself;   his   imploring  yet  impas- 
sioned glances   seemed   to  irradiate  my  breast 
with  a  sweet  glory.     I  felt  at  once,  that  since 
the  goodness  of  the  Creator  was  inexhaustible^ 
the  fault  must  rest  with  man  if  there  were  no 


RATTLIK,    THE    REEFER,  171 

more  Samuels,  so  I  determined  to  be  one — ^to 
devote  myself  entirely  to  divine  abstraction,  to 
heavenly  glory,  and  to  incessant  worship — and^ 
stupendous  as  the  assertion  may  seem,  for  six 
weeks  I  did  so.  This  resolution  became  a 
passion — a  madness.  I  was  as  one  walking  in 
a  sweet  trance — I  revelled  in  secret  bliss,  as  if 
I  had  found  a  glorious  and  inexhaustible  trei^ 
sure.  I  spoke  to  none  of  my  new  state  of  mind 
— absorbed  as  I  was,  I  yet  dreaded  ridicule — 
but  I  wrote  hymns,  I  composed  sermons.  If 
I  found  my  attention  moving  from  heavenly 
matters,  I  grew  angry  with  myself  and  I  re- 
novated my  flagging  attention  with  inward  ejar 
culation.  I  had  all  the  madness  of  the  anchorite 
upon  me  in  the  midst  of  youthful  society,  yet 
without  his  asceticism,  and  certainly  without  his 
vanity. 

My  studies,  of  course,  were  nearly  totally 
neglected,  under  this  complete  alienation  of 
spirit,  and  Mr.  Root,  lenient  as  he  had  lately 
become  towards  me,  began  to  flog  again;  and 
— shall  I  be  believed  when  I  say  it  ? — I  have 
been  examining  my  memory  most  severely,  and 

I  2 


A 


1 1 


172        RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

I  am  sure  it  has  delivered  up  its  record  faith- 
fully;   but  yet  I  hardly  dare  give  it  to  the 
world — ^but,  despite  of  ridicule,   I  find  myself 
compelled  to  say,  that  those  floggings  I  scarcely 
felt      I  looked  upon  them  as  something   re- 
ceived   for   the  sake    of   an    inscrutable    and 
un&thomable  love,  and  I  courted  them — ^they 
were  pleasurable.     I  now  can  well  understand 
the  enthusiasm  and  the  raptures  of  that  ridi- 
culous class    of    exploded    visionaries,    called 
flagellants.     I  certainly  was  in  a  state  of  com- 
plete oblivion  to  everything  but  a  dreamy  fana- 
ticism, and  yet  that  term  is  too  harsh,  and  it 
would  be  impiety  to  call  it  holiness,  seeing  that 
it  was  a  state  of  inutiUty, — and  yet,  many  well- 
meaning  persons  will  think,  no  doubt,  that  my 
infant  and  almost  sinless  hand,  had  hold  of  a 
blessed  link  of  that  chain  of  inefiable  love,  which 
terminates  in   the  breast  of  that  awful  Being, 
who  sits  at  the  right  hand  of  the  throne  of  the 
Eternal     I  give,  myself  no  opinion.     I   only 
state  facts.     But  I  cannot  help  hazarding  a  con- 
jecture of  what  I  might  have  been,  had  I  then 
possessed  a  friend  in  any  one  of  my  instructors. 


BATTLIN,    THE    ftSSFES.  173 

who  could  have  pointed  out  to  me  what  were 
the  precmcts  of  true  piety,  what  those  of  inci- 
pient insanity.  At  that  time  I  had  the  courage 
to  achieve  anything.  Let  the  cold-hearted  and 
the  old  say  what  they  will,  youth  is  the  time  for 
moral  braTery.  The  withered  and  the  aged  mis- 
take their  £Euling  forces  for  calmness  and  resig- 
nation, and  an  apathy,  the  drear  anticipator  of 
death,  for  presence  of  mind. 

However,  this  state  of  exalted  feeling  had  a 
very  ludicrous  termination.  I  ceased  fighting, 
I  was  humble,  seeking  whom  I  might  serve, 
reproving  no  one,  but  striving  hard  to  love  all, 
giving,  assisting,  and  actually  panting  for  an 
opportunity  of  receiving  a  slap  on  one  side 
of  the  tancej  that  I  might  offer  the  other  for  the 
same  infliction.  The  reader  my  be  sure  that 
I  had  die  Bible  almost  constantly  before  me, 
when  not  employed  in  what  I  conceived  some 
more  active  office  of  what  I  thought  sanctifi- 
cation.  But  though  the  spirit  may  be  strong, 
at  times  the  body  will^  be  weak.  I  believe  1 
dozed  for  a  few  minutes  over  the  sacred  book. 


174 


BATTLIN,    TH£    BEEFEB. 


when  a  wag  stole  it  away,  and  substituted  for 
it  the  ^^  renowned  and  veracious  history  of  the 
Seven  Champions  of  ChristendonL"  There 
was  the  frontbpiece,  the  gallant  St  Greorge,  in 
green  and  gold  armour,  thrusting  his  «pear 
into  the  throat  of  the  dragon,  in  green  and 
gold  scales.  What  a  temptation!  I  ogled 
the  book  coyly  at  first  I  asked  for  my  Bible. 
'^  Read  that,  Ralph,^  said  the  purloiner ;  and 
oh !  recreant  that  I  was,  I  read  it 

I  was  cured  in  three  hours  of  being  a  saint, 
of  despising  flogging,  and  of  aping  Samuel 


BATTLIN,    THE    REEITBB. 


175 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

Ralph  receives  an  infusion  of  patriotism — Is  himself 
drilled  and  drills  a  touch.hole— He  turns  out  a 
monstrous  big  liar — Somebody  come  to  see  him 
whom  nobody  can  see^  and  the  mystery  ends  in 
another  migration. 

It  is  the  nature  of  men  and  boys  to  run  into 
extremes.  I  have  carried  the  reader  with  me 
through  my  desponding  and  enthusiastic  epochs. 
I  now  come  to  the  most  miserable  of  all,  my 
mendacious  one.  An  avowed  poet  is  entitled, 
de  juret  to  a  good  latitude  of  fiction ;  but  I 
abused  this  privilege  most  woefully.  I  became 
a  confirmed  and  intrepid  liar — and  this,  too^ 
was  the  natural  course  of  my  education,  or  the 


4 


I"> 


176  BATTLIV,   THE  SESFKIU 

want  of  it  I  began  to  r^  all  manner  of 
romances.  There  was  a  military  and  cbival- 
rous  spirit  strong  in  the  school — the  mania  for 
volunteering  was  general,  and  our  numerous 
school  were  almost  all  trained  to  arms.  The 
government  itself  supplied  us  with  a  half- 
dozen  drill  Serjeants  to  complete  us  in  our 
manual  and  platoon  exercise.  We  had  a  very 
pretty  uniform,  and  our  equipments  as  in£BUitry 
were  complete  in  all  things,  save  and  excepting 
that  all  the  muskets  of  the  junior  boys  had  no 
touch-holes.  Mine  was  delivered  to  me  in  this 
innocent  state.  Oh  !  that  was  a  great  morti- 
fication on  field-days,   when  we  were  allowed 

to  incorporate  with  the  imited and 

volunteers,  whilst  aU  the  big  lads  actuaUy 
fired  ofi^  real  powder,  in  line  with  real  men, 
to  be  obliged  to  snap  a  wooden  flint  against 
a  sparkless  hammer.  A  mortification  I  could 
not,  I  would  not,  endure. 

There  was  a  regular  contention  between  Mr. 
Root,  my  musket,  and  myself  and  at  last,  by 
giving  my  serjeant  a  shilling,  I  conquered. 
Every  day  that  our  muskets  were  examined  on 


SATTLIX,   TH£   BEIBFBB*  177 

parade^  mine  would  be  fouod  witfi  a  toueb^iole 
drilled  in  it;.^  certainly  as  it  was  founds  00 
certainly  was  I  hoisted.  In  that  fever  of  pa* 
triotisnif  I,  of  all  the  school,  though  denied 
powder  and  shot^  was  the  only  one  that  bled 
for  my  country.  However,  I  at  length  had  the 
supreme  felicity  of  blowing  powder  in  the  face 
of  vacancy,  in  high  defiance  of  Buonaparte  and 
his  assembled  legions  on  the  coast  of  Boulogne* 
Thus  I  had  military  ardour  added  to  my  other 
ardencies.  Moreover,  I  had  learned  to  swim  in 
the  New  River,  and,  altogether,  began  to  fancy 
myself  a  bero. 

I  began  now  to  appreciate  and  to  avail  myself 
of  the  mystery  of  my  birth.  I  did  not  read 
romances  and  novels  for  nothing.  So  I  began 
my  mendacious  career.  Oh!  the  improbable 
md  impossible  lies  that  I  told,  and  that  were 
retold,  and  all  believed.  I  was  a  prince  incog- 
nito; my  father  had  coined  money — and  1 
gave  my  deluded  listeners  glimpses  at  pocket- 
pieces  as  proofs;  if  I  was  doubted,  I  fought 
The  elder  bvys  shook  their  heads,  and  could 
.    make  nothing  of  it     The  ushers  made  what 

I  5 


178        RATTLIN,  THE  BEEFEB. 

inquiries  they  dared,  and  found  nothing  which 
they  could  contradict  positively,  but  much  upon 
which  to  found  conjecture. 

Still,  notwithstanding  my  success,  my  life 
began  to  grow  burthensome.  The  lies  became 
too  manifold,  too  palpable,  and,  to  me,  too  oner- 
ous. They  had  been  extremely  inconsistent — 
ridicule  began  to  raise  her  hissing  head.  Shame 
became  my  constant  companion — ^yet  I  lied  on. 
I  think  I  may  safely  say,  that  I  would,  at  the 
time  that  I  was  giving  myself  out  as  a  future 
king,  have  scorned  the  least  violation  of  the  * 
truth,  to  have  saved  myself  from  the  most 
bitter  punishment,  or  to  injure,  in  the  least, 
my  worst  enemy;  my  lies  were  only  those  of 
a  most  inordinate  vanity;  begun  in  order  to 
make  a  grand  impression  of  myself,  and  per- 
severed in  through  obstinacy  and  pride.  But 
I  was  crushed  beneath  the  stupendous  magni- 
ficence of  my  own  creations.  I  had  been  so 
circumstantial — described  palaces,  reviews,  bat- 
tles, my  own  chargers,  and  now — oh !  how  sick 
all  these  fabrications  made  me  !  It  was  time  I 
left  the  school,  or  that  life  left  me,  for  it  had   « 


RATTLIN,  THE  BEEFSR.        179 

becc»ne  intolerable.  And  yet  this  state  of  mi- 
sery, the  misery  of  the  oonvicted,  yet  obsti- 
nately persevering  liar,  lasted  nearly  a  year. 

* 

Let  me  hurry  over  it;  but,  at  the  same  time, 
let  me  hold  it  up  as  a  picture  to  youth,  upon 
the  same  principle  as  the  Spartans  showed 
drunken  slaves  to  their  children.  Could  the 
young  but  conceive  a  tithe  of  the  misery  I 
endured,  they  would  never  after  swerve  from 
truth. 

I  have  not  time  to  expatiate  on  several  droll 
mishaps  that  occurred  to  Mr.  Root ;  how  he 
was  once  bumped  in  all  the  glowing  panoply 
of  equine  war;  how,  when  one  night,  with  his 
head  well  powdered,  he  crept  upon  all-fours, 
as  was  his  wont,  into  one  of  the  boys^  bedrooms, 
to  listen  to  their  nightly  conversations;  and 
how  such  visit  being  expected,  as  his  head  lay 
on  the  side  of  the  bedstead,  it  was  there  im- 
movably fixed,  by  the  application  of  a  half- 
pound  of  warm  cobbler^s  wax,  and  release  could 
only  be  given  by  the  Jason-like  operation  of 
shearing  the  fleecy  locks.  We  must  rapidly 
•    pass  on.     I  was  eager  to  get  away  from  this 


r.  t 


li^  RAXTLIN)    THE    V/EVLVKfU 

school,  ahd  idf  desire  was  accomplished  in  die 
foUowing  very  singular  maxmer. 

One  fine  sundhiny  Sunday  morning,  as  we 
were  aU  arranged  in  goodly  fiuhion,  two  by  two, 
round  the  play-ground,  preparatory  to  issuing 
through  the  house  to  go  to  churdi,  the  unusual 
cry  was  heard,  of  ^^  Master  Rattlin  wanted,** 
which  was  alwa3r8  understood  to  be  the  joyful 
signal  that  some  parent  or  friend  had  arrived 
as  a  visitor.  I  was  immediately  hurried  into 
the  house,  a  whispering  took  place  between  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Root,  and  the  consequence  was,  that 
I  was  bustled  up  into  the  bedroom,  and  my 
second  best  clothes,  which  I  then  had  on,  were 
changed  for  the  best,  and,  with  a  supereroga- 
tory dab  with  a  wet  towel  over  my  face,  I  was 
brought  down,  and,  my  little  heart  playing 
like  a  pair  of  castanets  against  my  ribs,  I  was 
delivered  into  the  tender  keeping  of  the  peda- 
gogue. 

Having  taken  me  by  the  hand,  whilst  he  was 
practising  all  the  amenities  with  his  counte- 
nance, he  opened  the  parlour-door,  where  the 
supposititious  visitor  was  expected  to  be  found. 


RATTLIH»    THE    BKRFJIK.  181 

and  k)  I  the  room  was  empty.  Mn.  Root  and 
the  servants  were  sommoned,  and  tbey  all  posH 
tiYeljr  dedared,  and  were  willing  to  swear  to 
the  fact,  that  a  gendeman  had  gone  into  the 
room,  who  had  ne?er  gone  out  It  was  a  firont 
parlour,  on  the  ground  floor,  and  frcmi  the  win- 
dow he  could  not  have  emerged,  as  the  area 
intervened  between  that  and  the  foot  pavement; 
and  to  see  a  gentleman  scrambling  through  by 

that  orifice  into  the  principal  street  of  , 

and  from  one  of  the  principal  houses  of  the 
town,  whilst  aU  the  people  were  going  to 
church,  was  a  little  too  preposterous  even  for 
Mr.  Root*s  matter-of-fact  imagination.  How- 
ever, they  aU  peeped  up  the  chimney  one  after 
the  other,  as  if  an  elderly,  military-looking  gen* 
tleman,  encumbered  with  a  surtout,  for  thus  he 
was  described,  would  have  been  so  generous  as 
to  save  my  schoolmaster  a  shilling,  by  bustling 
up  his  chimney,  and  bringing  down  the  soot 
The  person  was  not  to  be  found ;  Root  began 
to  grow  alarmed—a  constable  was  sent  for,  and 
the  house  was  searched  from  the  attics  to  the 
cellar.    The  dwelling  was  not,  however,  robbed, 


182  KATTLIK,    THE    REEFER. 

nor  any  of  its  inmates  murdered,  notwithstand- 
ing the  absconder  could  not  be  found. 

Now,  Mr.  Root  was  a  man  wise  in  his  own 
generation,  yet  was  he,  notwithstanding,  a  great 
fooL  He  was  one  of  that  class  who  can  some- 
times overreach  a  neighbour,  yet,  in  doing  so, 
inevitably  loses  his  own  balance,  and  tumbles 
into  the  mire.  A  sagacious  ninny,  who  had  an 
"  /  told  you  80^''  for  every  possible  event  after  it 
had  happened.  Indeed,  he  was  so  much  in  the 
habit  of  applying  this  favourite  phrase  upon 
all  unhappy  occasions,  that  he  could  not  help 
using  it  to  an  unfortunate  housemaid  of  his, 
one  morning,  who  had  deUvered  herself  secretly 
of  twins  the  previous  night  Mrs.  Root  did  not 
like  the  application  of  the  sentence  at  alL 

Instead  of  taking  the  common  sense  view  of 
the  affair  of  the  missed  gentleman,  and  suppos- 
ing that  the  footman  had  been  bribed  to  let 
him  quietly  out  at  the  street-door,  who,  per- 
haps, had  found  his  feeUngs  too  little  under 
his  control  to  go  through  the  interview  with 
me  that  he  sought,  Root  set  about  making  a 
miracle  of  the  matter.     It  was  astounding — nay. 


&ATTLIN,  TUX  BEEFSl.        188 

superhuman  !  It  boded  some  misfortune  to 
him;  and  so  it  really  did,  by  the  manner  in 
which  he  treated  it  I  Terily  believe,  that  had 
the  servants  or  Mrs.  Root,  who  had  seen  the 
gentleman,  averred  to  a  cloven  foot  as  peeping 
out  firom  his  military  surtout,  he  would  have 
given  the  assertion  not  only  unlimited  credence, 
but  unlimited  circulation  also.  However,  as  it 
was,  he  made  himself  most  egregiously  busy; 
there  were  his  brother  churchwardens  and  the 
curate  summoned  to  assist  him  in  a  court  of 
inquiry  ;  evidence  was  taken  in  form,  and  a 
sort  of  proci$  verbal  drawn  out  and  duly  at- 
tested. Mr.  Root  was  a  miracle-monger,  and 
gloried  in  being  able  to  make  himself  the  hero 
of  his  own  miracles. 

Well,  after  he  had  solaced  himself  by  going 
about  to  all  his  neighbours  with  this  surprising 
paper  in  hand,  for  about  the  space  of  a  fort- 
night, he  thought  to  put  the  climax  to  his 
policy  and  bis  vain  glory,  by  taking  it  and  him- 
self up  to  the  banker'^s  in  town  where  he  always 
got  the  fiill  amount  of  his  bills  for  my  board 
and  education  paid  without  either  examination 


.'-»..■• 


1^4  BA,T:TX«IVy   THA   RSKFSIU 

or  hesitatioiL  Th^  worthy  mpney-cluuijB^r 
looked  grimly  polite  at  the  long  and  wonderful 
account  of  the  schoolmaster,  received  a  copy 
of  the  account  of  the  mysterious  visitor  wit^i 
most  emphatic  silence,  and  then  bowed  the  cpm- 
municant  out  of  his  private  room  with  all  im^ 
ginable  etiquette. 

Mr.  Root  came  home  on  excellent  terms  with 
himself ;  he  imposed  silence  upon  his  good  lady» 
his  attentive  masters  and  ushers,  and  then  wip-, 
ing  the  perspiration  from  his  brow,  proceeded 
to  tell  his  admiring  audience  of  his  greats  his 
very  great  exertions,  and  how  manfully  through 
the  whole  awfid  business  he  had  done  his  duty. 
Alas !  he  soon  found  to  his  cost  that  he  had 
done  something  more.  In  cockney  language, 
he  had  done  himself  out  of  a  good  pupiL  A 
fortnight  after  I  was  again  "wanted."  There 
was  a  glass  coach  at  the  door,  A  very  reserved 
sort  of  gentieman  alighted,  paid  all  demands  up 
to  the  end  of  the  ensuing  half-year,  answered 
no  questions,  but  merely  producing  a  document, 
handed  me  and  all  my  worldly  wealth  into 
his  vehicle,  and  off  we  drove. 


To  the  best  of  my  recoUectioii,  all  the  con- 
venation  that  I  heard  from  this  taciturn  per- 
son, was  that  sentence,  so  much  the  more  re- 
markable  for  verity  than  originality,  ^Ask  no 
questions,  and  I  shall  tell  you  no  stories.^ 
Having  nothing  else  to  do  in  this  my  enforced 
tiie-^cte^  I  began  to  conjecture  what  next  was 
going  to  become  of  me.  At  first  I  built  no 
castles  in  the  air  ;  1  had  got  quite  sick  of  doing 
that  aloud  with  my  late  school-fellows,  and 
passing  them  all  off  as  facts.  Still  it  must  be 
confessed,  that  my  feelings  were  altogether 
pleasurable.  It  was  a  soul-cheering  relief  to 
have  escaped  from  out  of  that  vast  labyrinth  of 
lies  that  I  had  planted  around  me,  and  no 
longer  to  dread  the  rod-bearing  Root;  even 
novelty,  under  whatever  form  it  may  present 
itself  is  always  grateful  to  the  young. 

In  the  midst  of  these  agitations  I  agidn 
found  myself  in  town;  and  I  began  to  hope 
that  I  should  once  more  see  my  foster-parents. 
I  began  to  rally  up  my  ^little  Latin  and  less: 
Greek,"  in  order  to  surprise  the  worthy  sawyer 
and  his  wife  ;    and  I  had  fully  determined  to 


166  RATTLIN,    THE    RBBFBIU 

work  out  for  him  what  the  amount  of  his  daily 
wages  came  to  in  a  week,  firstly  by  simple 
arithmetic,  secondly  by  fractions,  thirdly  by 
decimals,  and  fourthly  by  duodecimals;  and 
then  to  prove  the  whole  correct  by  an  algebraical 
e,quation.  But  all  those  triumphs  of  learning 
were  not  destined  for  me.  I  found,  at  length, 
that  the  glass  coach  dnwe  up  the  inn-yard  of 
some  large  coachmaster ;  but  few  words  were 
said,  and  I  was  consigned  to  the  coachman  of 
one  of  the  country  stages,  with  as  little  remorse 
and  as  little  ceremony  as  if  I  had  been  an  ugly, 
blear-eyed  pug,  forwarded  in  a  basket  labelled, 
<^  this  side  uppermost,''  to  an  old  maiden  aunt, 
or  a  superannuated  grandmother. 

This  was  certainly  unhandsome  treatment  to 
one  who  had  been  lately  seriously  telling  his 
companions  that  he  was  a  disguised  prince  of 
the  blood,  forced,  for  state  reasons,  to  keep  a 
strict  incognito.  It  is  true,  that  I  travelled 
with  four  horses,  and  was  attended  by  a  guard ; 
nay,  that  a  flourish  of  music  preceded  my  ar- 
rival at  various  points  of  my  journey;  but  all 
these  little  less  than  royal  honours  I  shared  with 


BATTLIN,  THE  BCKFBR.        187 

a  plebeian  butcher,  a  wheezing  and  attenuated 
plumber  and  glazier,  and  other  of  his  lieges,  all 
very  useful,  but  hardly  deemed  ornamental 
members  of  the  body  politic 

But  let  me  now  pause  at  this  point  of  my 
life;  and  sum  up  in  a  few  words,  what  I  was 
at  thirteen  years  of  age  ;  what  I  might  have 
been,  it  is  both  useless  and  painful  to  conjecture. 
At  that  age,  it  is  certain  that  the  outlines  of  the 
character  are  traced  in,  unerasably  so.  If  the 
youth's  bursts  of  passion  have  not  been  counter- 
acted, all  his  life  he  will  be  passionate ;  if  his 
vindictive  feelings  have  not  been  corrected,  all  his 
life  he  will  be  revengeful;  if  religious  principles 
have  not  been  cultivated,  he  will  be  either  luke- 
warm in  faith,  or  a  sinner,  or  a  sceptic ;  if 
habits  of  industry  have  not  been  formed,  he  will 
for  ever  after  think  labour  to  be  ignoble,  and 
exertion  only  laudable  when  its  immediate  aim 
is  pleasure.  Now,  what  was  I  at  thirteen, — ^the 
child  of  desertion  or  neglect;  by  turns  the  foot- 
stool of  oppression,  or  the  shuttlecock  of 
caprice;  alternately  kicked,  cajoled,  and  flat- 
tered ?     I  vrill  tell  the  reader  what  I  was.     I 


188  RJkTThlVj   THE   BKBVBB. 

was  superstitiouB,  with  a  degree  of  superstition 
that  would  have  borne  me  within  the  drear 
realms  of  fatuity,  had  not  a  healthful  tempera- 
ment, and  an  indomitable  pride,  made  me, 
whilst  I  believed  in  all  absurd  horrors,  brave 
them.  I  owed  this  to  the  Methodist  preachers. 
I  hated  public  worship ;  and  all  that  associated 
with  it,  and  for  this  feeling  I  was  indebted  to 
the  church-observing  disciplinarian,  Mr.  Root 
I  was  idle,  extravagant,  and  as  inconstant  as 
the  summer  wind;  though  I  could,  when  the 
whim  seized  me,  wander  amongst  the  flowers 
of  literature,  unwearied,  for  successive  hours. 
This  was  the  consequence  of  the  neglect  I  ex- 
perienced at  school  I  was  obdurate,  obstinate, 
and  cruel — ^the  undoubted  effects  of  my  re- 
peated floggings ;  and  above  all,  I  was  a  mon- 
strous liar.  But  mine  was  not  the  lying  of 
profit  or  of  fear,  but  of  ambition.  I  could  not 
carve  out  for  myself  young  as  I  was,  glory  by 
my  sword,  so  I  vainly  thought  to  create  it  to 
myself  by  my  tongue.  The  consolation  that  I 
have  in  looking  back  upon  this  the  shameful 
part  of  my  character,  was,  that  I  did  it  heroi- 


BATTiaiiy  TUX  BcnsFinu 


189 


cally.    If  die  aiiom  be  true,  diat  one  murder 
makes  a  fekm^  a  thousand  a  hero,  sureij  I  may 
8ay»  one  fiilsehood  makes  a  grovellmgliar,  a  tbou* 
saod  a  magnificat  inyentcHr.    But  sound  morality 
sees  through  and  condemns  the  one  and  the  odier. 
There  is  nothing  really  great  that  is  not  true, 
even  in  those  things  that  seem  to  take  fiction 
for  their  basis.    Let  me  earnestly  advise  every 
h^;lHS[Hrited  youth,  to  be  aware  of  romancing 
at  school,  or  elsewhere.     If  he  possess  genius, 
be  will  not  be  able  to  stop  himself  and  the  first 
pause  that  he  will  make  will  be,  when  he  finds 
himself  brought  up    suddenly,    the   standing- 
mark  tor  the  derision  of  fools  whom  he  despises, 
but  whose  supmority  he  cannot  dispute,  because 
they  have  not  lied 


IdO  BATTLIN,    THE    REKFEB. 


CHAPTER  XIX. 


A  chapter  of  disappointments,  which  Ralph  hopes  the 
reader  will  not  share — Some  comparisons  which  he 
hopes  will  not  be  found  odious,  and  some  reflection 
which  he  thinks  cannot  be  resented. 

My  friends  will  perceive,  that  at  the  time  of 
which  I  am  speaking,  the  stage  coach  contained, 
if  not  actually  a  bad  character,  a  person  on 
the  very  verge  of  being  one — that  I  was  that 
graceless,  yet  tolerated  being,  a  scamp,  was  verj^ 
certain — yet  my  gentle  demeanour,  my  smooth, 
bright  countenance,  and  never-ceasing  placid 
smile,  would  have  given  a  very  diflTerent  impres- 
sion of  my  qualities.  I  have  been  thus  liberal 
in  my  confessions,  in  order  that  parents  may  see 


BATTLIK,  THE  BEBFKB.  191 

that  their  duties  do  not  terminate  where  those 
of  the  schoolmaster  begin ;  that  the  schoolmaster 
himself  must  be  taken  to  task,  and  the  watcher 
watched.  I  had  been  placed  in  one  of  the 
first  boarding-schools  near  town ;  a  most  liberal 
stipend  had  been  paid  with  me;  I  had  every 
description  of  master ;  yet,  after  all  this  outlay 
of  money,  which  is  not  dross — and  waste  of 
time,  which  is  beyond  price  precious,  what  was 
I  at  leaving  this  academy  ?  Let  the  good  folks 
withinside  of  the  Stickenham  stage  testify;  by 
one  trick  or  another  I  had  contrived  to  make 
them  all  tolerably  uncomfortable  before  the 
journey  was  half  over. 

But  where  am  I  going  ?  Csesar  and  his 
fortunes  are  embarked  in  a  stage  coach.  An 
hour  and  a  half  had  elapsed  when  I  perceived 
that  the  horses  were  dragging  the  vehicle  slowly 
up  a  steep  hiU.  The  full- leaved  trees  are  arching 
for  us,  over  head,  a  verdant  canopy ;  the  air 
becomes  more  bracing  and  elastic ;  and  even  I  ^ 
feel  its  invigorating  influence,  and  cease  to  drop 
slily  the  gravelly  dirt  I  had  collected  from  my 
shoes,  down  the  neck  and  back  of  a  very  pretty 


I9S  KATTLIN,   THE  mKWm. 

girly  who  sat  blushing  furiously  on  my  left. 
Now  the  summit  is  gained,  and  in  anoAer  nfto- 
ment,  the  coach  thunders  down  the  other  side  of 
the  hilL  But  what  a  beautiful  view  is  spread  b^ 
fore  my  fascinated  eyes !  and  then  rose  up^  in 
my  young  heart  the  long-sleeping  emotions  of 
love,  and  kindred  affection.  Into  whose  arms 
was  I  to  be  received  ?  whose  were  to  be  the 
beautiful  lips  that  were  now  longing  to  kiss  me 
with  parental,  perhaps  fraternal  rapture  ?  Had 
I  a  sister?  Could  I  doubt  it  at  that  ecstatic 
moment?  How  I  would  love  her  !  The  tatted 
calf  was  not  only  killed,  but  cooked,  to  welcome 
the  long  lost  Nor  Latin,  nor  French,  nor 
Greek,  nor  Mathematics,  should  embitter  the 
passing  moments.  This  young  summer,  thai 
breathed  such  aromatic  joy  around  me^  had 
put  on  its  best  smile  to  welcome  me  to  my  pa- 
ternal abode.  ^^No  doubt,"  said  I  to  myself 
— <*  no  doubt,  but  that  some  one  of  the  strange 
.  stories  that  I  told  of  myself  at  Roofs,  is  going 
to  be  realized." 

In  the  midst  of  these  rapturous  anticipations, 
each  later  one  beooming  more  wild  and  more 


BAxn^iv;  TRK .  mxicFnu  4tB 


l^orioiw  than  the  prerious  one  that  begot  it»  it 
wantinf  still  an  hour  of  sundown,  all  at  onee 
the  eoach  stopped  before  a  house,  upon  a 
gentle  doTation-^stopped  with  a  jerk,  too,  as 
if  it  were  going  to  usher  in  some  glorious  event 
I  lodked  out,  and  behold !  in  hated  gold  letten, 
upon  the  hated  blue  board,  the  bitterly  hated 
word  **  academy''  met  my  agonized  sight 

I  burst  into  tears.  I  needed  no  voice  to  t^ 
me  that  I  was  the  person  to  alight  I  knew 
my  doonu  Farewell  to  all  my  glorious  visions  ! 
I  could  have  hurled  back  into  the  face  of  the 
laughing  sun,  my  hate,  and  called  him  deceive 
and  traitor ;  for  had  he  not,  with  other  causes, 
conspired  to  smile  me,  five  minutes  ago,  into  A 
fcoPs  paradise? 

**  Master  Rattlin,  won't  you  please  to  alight  1^ 
said  one  of  those  imder-toned,  gerund-singing 
wices,  that  my  instinct  told  me  to  be  an 
uaher^B. 

*^  No  thank^ee,  sir,"  said  I,  amidst  my  sob- 
bings, ^^  I  want  to  go  home." 
-  ^  But  yon  are  to  get  down  here,  however," 
said  my  evil-omened  inviter.      <<  Your  boies 

vou  u  K 


194  Bi^TTLJN,  THE  REEF£&. 

are  all  off  the  coach,  and  the  coachman  wants  to 
go  forward." 

«  Slo  do  I." 

"  It's  excessively  droll  this — hi,  hi,  hi !  as 
sure  as  my  name's  Saltseller,  it  is  excessively 
droll.  So  you  want  to  get  forward.  Master 
Rattlin?  why  come  to  school  then,  that's  the 
way — droll,  isn't  it?  Why,  you've  been  riding 
backwards  all  the  way,  too — ^time  to  change — 
droU  that— hi,  hi  1" 

^^  If  s  no  change,"  said  I,  getting  out  sulkily, 
"  from  one  school  to  another — and  do  you  call 
this  a  school?^  I  continued,  looking  round 
contemptuously,  for  I  found  about  twenty  little 
boys  playing  upon  a  green  knoll  before  the 
house,  and  over  which  we  were  compelled  to 
walk  to  reach  it,  as  the  road  did  not  come  near 
the  habitation.  ^^  Do  you  call  this  a  school  ? 
Well,  if  you  catch  me  being  flogged  here,  Tm 
a  sop,  that's  all — a  school !  And  I  suppose 
you're  the  usher — I  don't  think  those  Uttle  boys 
bumped  you  last  half-year." 

«  I  dotf  t  think  they  did,"  said  Mr.  Saltseller, 
which  was  actually  the  wretch's  name,  and  with 


EATTLIK,  THE  EBSFKR*        195 

whom  I  fell  desperately  in  hate  at  first  sight 
^  Bump  me  !"  he  exclaimed  soliloquising — 
and  with  that  air  of  astonishment,  as  if  he  had 
heard  the  most  monstrous  impossibility  spoken 
of  imaginable.  ^  Bump  me  ?  droll,  is'nt  it*— 
excessively?  Where  have  you  been  brought 
up,  Master  Rattlin  7* 

^  Where  they  bar  out  tyrannical  masters, 
and  bump  sneaking  ushers,"  said  I.  ^^  Thaf  s 
where  I  was  brought  up.** 

*'  Then  that's  what  I  call  very  bad  bringing 
up. 

^^  Not  so  bad  as  being  brought  down  here, 
any  how." 

His  next  "excessively  droll,  isn't  it?" 
brought  us  to  the  door  of  the  academy ;  but, 
in  passing  over  the  play-ground,  I  could  see, 
at  once,  that  I  was  with  quite  another  class  of 
beings,  than  those  who  composed  my  late 
schoolfellows.  They  were  evidently  more  deli- 
cately nurtured ;  they  had  not  the  air  of  school- 
boy daring,  to  which  I  had  been  so  much  ac^ 
customed,  and  they  called  each  other  "  Mas- 
ter.^    Everything,  too,  seemed  to  be  upon  a 

K  2 


i 


^*  daV-d^«*^  o  Viet,  V»  *^ 


BATTLIK,    THE   BBEVXB  197 

heart,  all  the  reverence  and  the  filial  afiection  of 
a  son;  but  it  was  the  implied  understanding 
between  my  love  and  my  vanity,  that  in  joining 
herself  to  me  as  a  mother,  she  was  to  bestow 
upon  me  a  duchess  at  least;  though  I  should 
not  have  thought  myself  over-well  used  had  it 
been  a  princess.  And  here  were  all  these  glo- 
rious anticipations  merged,  sunk,  destroyed,  in 
the  person  of  a  boarding-school  mistress  of 
about  twenty  bo]rs,  myself  the  biggest  It  was 
no  use  that  I  said  to  myself  over  and  over  again, 
she  is  not  less  lovely — ^lier  voice  less  musical, 
her  manner  less  endearing,  or  her  apparel  less 
rich.  The  startling  truth  was  ever  in  my  ear 
— she  **  keeps  a  school,"  and,  consequently, 
she  cannot  be  my  mother. 

She  could  not  know  what  was  passing  in  my 
mind ;  but  it  was  evident  that  my  grief  was  of 
that  intensity  that  nearly  approached  to  misery* 
She  took  me  by  the  hand,  showed  me  my  nice 
little  bed,  the  large  garden,  the  river  that  ran  at 
the  bottom  of  it,  and  placed  before  me  fruit  and 
cakes;  I  would  not  be  consoled  ;  what  business 
had  she  to  be  a  schoolmistress?  I  had  a  thou- 


198        BATTLIN,  THE  BEEFER. 

Band  times  rather  have  had  Mrs.  Brandon  for  a 
mother  again — she  had  never  deceived  me.  But 
I  was  soon  aware  that  this  lady,  whom  I  now, 
for  the  first  time,  heard  named,  as  Mrs.  Cher- 
feuil,  was  as  little  disposed  to  grant  me  the 
honour  of  calling  her  mother,  as  I  was  to  be- 
stow it  I  was  introduced  to  her  husband  as 
the  son  of  a  female  Mend  of  hers  of  early  life ; 
that  she  had  stood  godmother  to  me,  that  my 
parentage  was  respectable ;  and,  as  he  had 
before  had  sufficient  references  to  satisfy  him 
from  the  agent,  who  had  called  a  week  before 
my  arrival,  the  good  man  thought  that  there 
was  nothing  singular  in  the  afiair. 

But  let  us  describe  this  good  man,  my  new 
pedagogue.  In  all  things  he  was  the  antithesis 
of  Mr.  Root.  The  latter  was  large,  florid  and 
decidedly  handsome — Mr.  Cherfeuil  was  little, 
sallow,  and  more  than  decidedly  ugly.  Mr.  Root 
was  worldly  wise,  and  very  ignorant;  Mr. 
Cherfeuil,  a  fool  in  the  world,  and  very  learned. 
The  mind  of  Mr.  Root  was  so  empty,  that  he 
found  no  trouble  in  arranging  his  one  idea  and 
a  half;  Mr.  Cherfeuil*s  was  so  full,  that  there 


•BATTLiy,    THE    RBEFEl.  199 

was  no  room  for  any  arrangement  at  alL  Mr. 
Root  would  have  thought  himself  a  fool  if  he 
condescended  to  write  poetry ;  but  he  supposed 
he  could,  for  he  never  tried.  Mr.  Cherfeuil 
would  have  thought  any  man  a  fool  that  did 
not  perceive  at  once  that  he,  Cherfeuil,  was  bom 
a  great  poet  Shall  I  carry,  after  the  manner 
of  Plutarch,  the  comparison  any  farther  ?  No ' 
let  us  bring  it  to  an  abrupt  conclusion,  by  say- 
ing in  a  few  words,  that  Mr.  Root  was  English ; 
Mr.  Cherfeuil  French ;  that  the  one  had  a  large 
school,  and  the  other  a  little  one;  and  that 
both  were  immeasurably  great  men  in  their  own 
estimation — though  not  universally  so  in  that 
•   of  others. 

Mr.  Cherfeuil  was  ambitious  to  be  thought 
five  feet  high ;  his  attitude,  therefore,  was 
always  erect;  and,  to  give  himself  an  air  of 
consequence,  he  bridled  and  strutted  like  a  fiill- 
breasted  pigeon,  with  his  head  thrown  back, 
and  was  continually  in  the  act  of  wriggling  his 
long  chin  into  his  ample  neckerchiei  He  could 
not  ask  you  how  you  do,  or  say  in  answer  to 
that  question,  ^'  I  thank  you,  sare,  very  welly'' 


200        KATTLIK,  THE  REEFER. 

n^hout  stamping  prettily  with  his  foot,  as  if 
cracking  a  snail,  and  tossing  his  chin  into  the 
air  as  if  he  were  going  to  balance  a  ladder  upon 
it  Then,  though  his  features  were  compressed 
into  a  small  monkeyfied  compass,  they  were 
themselves,  individually,  upon  a  magnificent 
scale.  It  was  as  if  there  had  been  crowded 
half  a  dozen  gigantic  specimens  of  human  ugli- 
ness into  my  lady's  china  doset,  all  of  which 
were  elbowing  each  other  for  room.  The  eyes 
would  have  been  called  large,  had  it  not  been 
for  the  vast  proportions  of  the  nose,  and  the 
nose  would  have  been  thought  preposterous,  had 
it  not  been  for  the  horrible  dimensions  of  the 
mouth.  Yet  the  expression  of  all  these  ano- 
malies, though  very  grotesque,  was  not  unpleas- 
ing.  You  smiled  with  satisfaction  when  you 
saw  how  great  the  improvement  was  that  ba- 
boonery had  made  toward  manhood.  You 
might  call  him,  in  a  word,  a  queer,  little  ugly- 
looking  box  of  yellow  mortality,  that  contained 
some  amiable  qualities,  and  a  great  many  valu- 
able attainments.  Of  good  sense,  or  of  common 
sense,  he  was  never  known  to  show,  during  the 


RATTLIN,  THE  EEEFKB.       301 

whole  period  of  his  life>  but  one  instance ;  and 
that  was  a  most  important  one — a  complete  defer* 
ence,  in  all  things,  to  his  stately  and  beautiful 
wife.  Her  dominion  was  undivided,  complete^ 
and  unremitting.  How  she  came  to  marry  him 
was  one  of  those  human  riddles  that  will  never  be 
satisfactorily  resolved*  He  had  been  a  French 
emigre^  had  had  a  most  superior  educatioor— t 
played  on  several  instruments  without  taste- 
understood  everything  connected  with  the  clas- 
sics but  their  beauty,  and  was  deeply  versed  in 
the  mathematics,  without  comprehending  their 
utility. 

At  this  school  my  progress  was  rapid.  All 
the  care  and  attention  that  the  most  maternal  of 
hearts  could  bestow  upon  me  were  mine ;  yet 
there  was  no  approach  to  anything  like  fami- 
liarity on  the  part  of  Mrs.  CherfeuiL  There  lay 
a  large  wild  common  before  the  house — there 
was  a  noble  collection  of  deep  water  in  the 
vicinity,  in  which  I  perfected  my  natatory 
studies,  (affected  phraseology  is  the  fashion,)^ 
and  my  body  strengthened,  my  mind  imprpved^ 
and  I  began  to  taste  of  real  happiness. 

K  5 


202       BATTLIN,  THE  BEEFER. 

It  would  be  aiu  amusing  work,  to  write  a 
biography  of  some  of  the  most  remarkable 
ushers.  They  seem  to  be  the  bats  of  the  social 
scheme.  Gentlemen  will  not  own  them,  and 
the  classes  beneath  reject  them.  They  are 
generally  self-sufficient ;  the  dependency  of 
their  situation  makes  them  mean,  and  the 
exercise  of  delegated  power  tyrannicaL  If 
they  have  either  spirit  or  talent,  they  lift 
themselves  above  their  situation ;  but  when 
they  cannot  do  this,  they  are,  in  my  estimation, 
the  most  abject  of  all  classes — gipsies  and  beg- 
gars not  excepted.  Mr.  Cherfeuil  was,  in  him- 
self a  mine  of  learning :  but  he  delivered  it  out 
from  the  dark  cavities  of  his  mind,  encumbered 
with  so  much  ore,  and  in  such  misshaped 
masses,  that  it  required  another  person  to 
arrange  for  use  what  he  was  so  lavish  of  pro- 
ducing. A  good  usher  or  assistant  was  therefore 
necessary;  but  I  do  not  recollect  having  more 
than  one,  out  of  the  thirty  or  forty  that  came 
and  went  during  the  three  years  I  was  at  the 
schooL 

This  class  of  people  are,  alas !  tataily  suscep- 


BATTLIN,  THE  BEXFXB.        903 

tible  of  the  tender  impulses.  They  alwa3r8  find 
the  rosy  cheeks  of  the  housemaid,  or  the  en 
hon  point  of  the  cook,  irresistible.  And  they 
have  themselves  such  delicat^  soft  hands,  so 
white  and  so  ashy.  On  Sundajrs,  too,  their 
linen  is  generally  clean;  so,  altogether,  the 
maidservants  find  them  kilKng. 

Mr.  Saltseller,  who  found  everything  droll, 
and  who  used  to  piunt  his  cheeks,  lost  his  situ- 
ation just  at  the  precise  moment  that  the  house- 
maid lost  her  character.  The  two  losses  together 
were  not  of  very  great  moment ;  then  we  had 
another,  and  another,  and  another;  and  more 
characters  were  lost — till  at  last  there  did  come 
a  man, 

*'  take  him  for  all  in  all, 
I  ne'er  shall  look  upon  his  like  again." 

He  was  very  tall,  stout,  of  a  pompous  carriage, 
un  homme  magniflque.  He  wore  a  green  coat, 
&lse  hair,  a  black  patch  over  his  left  eye,  and 
was  fifty,  or  rather  fifty-five.  His  face  was 
large,  round,  and  the  least  in  the  world  bloated. 
This  Adonis  of  matured  ushers,  after  sdiool- 
hours,  would  hang  a  guitar  firom  his  broad  nedL, 


4 


'  ♦• 


2M  RATTLUlf   THE    KE£FER* 

by  means  of  a  pale  pink  ribbon,  and  walk  up 
and  down  on  the  green  before  the  house,  thrum, 
thrum,  thrumming,  the  admiration  of  all  the 
little  boys,  and  the  coveted  of  all  the  old  tabbies 
in  the  village.  O,  he  was  the  beau  idial  of  a 
vieux  garfon.  We  recommend  all  school-as- 
sistants to  learn  the  guitar,  and  grow  fat — if 
they  can ;  and  then,  perhaps,  they  may  prosper, 
like  Mr.  Sigismund  Pontifex.  He  contrived  to 
elope  with  a  maiden  lady,  of  good  property,  just 
ten  years  older  than  himself:  the  sweet,  innocent, 
indiscreet  ones,  went  off  by  stealth  one  morning 
before  daylight,  in  a  chaise  and  four,  and  re- 
turned a  week  after,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Pontifex. 

The  gentleman  hung  up  his  guitar,  and  for 
ever ;  and  every  fine  day,  he  was  found,  pipe  in 
mouth  and  tankard  in  hand,  presiding  at  the 
bowUng-green  of  the  Black  Lion,  the  acknow- 
ledged an4  revered  umpire — cherished  by  mine 
host,  and  referred  to  by  the  players.  I  write 
this  life  for  instruction.  Gentlemen  ushers, 
look  to  it — be  ambitious — learn  the  guitar,  and 
make  your  mouths  water  with  ideas  of  pro- 
spective tankards  of  ale,  and  odoriferous  pipes. 


&ATTLIK,   THE    BEEFER. 


205 


CHAPTER  XX. 

Ralph  groweth  egregiously  modest,  and  boasteth  im- 
moderately, until  he  is  beaten  by  one  with  one  foot 
in  the  grave ;  with  something  touching  the  feats  of 
the  man  without  feet. 


I  FIND  myself  in  a  dilemma.  My  modesty  (?) 
13  at  variaxice  with  my  love  of  verity.  O  the  in- 
convenience of  that  little  pronoun,  I !  Would 
that  I  had,  in  the  first  instance,  imitated  the 
wily  copduct  of  the  bald-pated  invader  of  Bri- 
tain. How  complacently  might  I  not  then  have 
vaunted  in  the  beginning,  have  caracoled 
through  the  middle,  and  glorified  myself  at  the 
conclusion  of  this  my  auto-biography !  What 
a  monstrous  piece  of  braggadocio  would  not 


i*^  -• 


*206  RATTLIK,    THE    REEFER. 

Caesar's  Commentaries  have  been,  had  be  used 
tbe  first,  instead  of  tbe  tbird  person  singular ! 
How  intolerable  would  bave  been  tbe  presump- 
tion of  bis  Tbrasonical,  <<  I  tbrasbed  tbe  Hel- 
vetians— I  subjugated  tbe  Germans — I  utterly 
routed  tbe  Gauls — I  defeated  tbe  painted  Bri- 
tons!'' And,  on  tbe  contrary,  for  I  like  to 
place  beroes  side  by  side,  bow  decorously  and 
ingeniously  migbt  I  not  have  written,  *'  Ralpb 
RattUn  blackened  Master  Simpkin's  left  eye — 
Ralpb  Rattlin  led  on  tbe  attack  upon  Farmer 
Russel's  orcbard,  and  Ralpb  Rattlin  fougbt 
tbree  rounds,  witb  no  considerable  disadvantage, 
witb  tbe  long-legged  pieman."  Alas  !  I  cannot 
even  sbelter  myself  under  tbe  mistiness  of  tbe 
peremptory  we.  I  bave  made  a  great  mistake. 
But  I  bave  tbis  consolation,  in  common  witb 
other  great  men,  that,  for  our  mistake,  tbe 
public  will  assuredly  suffer  more  than  ourselves. 
Many  a  choice  adventure,  of  which  I  was  tbe 
hero,  must  be  suppressed.  /  should  blush  my- 
self black  in  the  face,  to  say  what  he  would 
relate  with  a  very  quiet  smile  of  self-satiB&ction. 
However,  as  regrets  are  quite  unavailing,  unless, 


&ATTLIN9  TUB  BEXFKB.        207 

like  the  undertakei^s,  they  are  paid  for,  I  shall 
exdaim,  with  the  French  soldier  who  found  hb 
long  military  queue  in  the  hands  of  a  pursuing 
English  sailor,  ^  Chivalry  of  the  world,  toujaurs 
en  avani." 

En  avant     Have  I  lingered  too  long  over 
my  school  days?      Ah,  no  I      In  early  spring 
are  not  the  flowers  more  fresh?    Are  not  the 
waters  of  the  river  more  pure,  the  nearer  we 
go  to  their  source  ?    Even  the  glorious  sun  is 
hailed  with  the  greatest  rapture  at  his  rising.     It 
is  at  the  commencement  of  everything,  as  well 
as  of  life,  that  we  must  look  for  the  greatest  en- 
joyment No  scheme  of  ambition,  of  grandeur, 
or  of  avarice,  but  contains  its  greatest  elements 
of  happiness  in  the  conception  and  its  prosecu* 
tion.      The  last  throb  of  exultation  for  success, 
is  the  sure  herald  of  the  first  pang  of  satiet}*. 
The  final  chorus  of  fruition  is,  ^  All  is  vanity 
and  vexation  of  spirit'^      It  is  the  chorus  of 
ages,  of  time,  and  of  mortality.     Let  us  then 
go  back  to  the  early  and  fresh  days  of  young 
lifie,  to  the  spring-tide  of  joyous  existence,  and 
what  reader  b  there,  however  bkize  by  tiie  world, 
that  will  not  gladly  attend  us  ? 


J 


't-i 


20&  RATTLIir,    THC    BBSFS&. 

I  have  deflcribed  a  wretched  schoolboy,  let 
U6  now  view  a  happy  one.  It  is  a  fine  and 
breezy  summer  morning,  the  sun  about  an  hour 
old;  Remark  that  tall  youth  springing  over  the 
garden  railings.  The  gate  is  fiastened  only  with 
a  latch,  but  the  exultation  of  health  disdains  to 
lift  it  There  is  a  vast  and  heathy  common 
before  him,  bounded  by  lofty  hills;  behind, 
an  immense  expanse  of  champaign  country ;  on 
his  right  is  a  lovely  lake,  crisping  to  the  firagrant 
winds;  and  on  his  left,  nestling  in  foliage  of 
antique  oaks  and  majestic  elms,  sleeps,  in  rural 
repose,  the  village.  He  pauses  for  one  moment 
on  the  green  sward — ^his  eyes  are  upon  the 
golden  fretwork  of  the  heavens.  You  may  see, 
by  the  mantling  cheek,  that  there  is  a  gush  of 
rapture  thrilling  through  his  bosom;  and  his 
glistening  eyes  are  beautiful,  for  in  them  is  silent 
worship.  Perhaps  the  reverie  is  too  joyous, 
the  swelling  sensation  in  his  bosom  too  over- 
powering, for  see,  with  a  bound  like  that  of 
a  startled  stag,  he  is  off  and  away.  He  is  racing 
with  the  winds — he  is  competing  with  the 
viewless  messengers,   that  bring  health  upon 


EATTLIN)   THB   RESrSE*  2W 

tir  gw3fk.wiiigaLr    He  seems  to  have  no  object 
but  I  the  enjojonetit  of  rapid  motioiu    He  leapB 
oTer>  busb    and  brake   exultmgly;    and   evem 
while  we  admire  him,  he  is  down  in  the  fitfi 
vale*    The  cheruping  lark  rises  firom  the  dewf. 
grasa;    he  stops,  and    hb  unconsdoos    voice 
bursts  out  into  a  shout  of  imitative  raptur& 
Atfirat  he  pours  out  his  soliloquy  in  mere  ejactfe^ 
lations  of  pleasure ;  by-and-bye^  these  bursts*  of 
feeling  assume  a  more  regular  form;  he  walks  • 
more  slowly,  and  before  he  has  reached,  on  his^ 
return,  the  lake,  he  has  composed  a  hymn  of 
gratitude  to  the  bountiful  Author  of  all  good^ 
that  hung   the    bright  and   gorgeous    canopy 
above  him,  and  spread  the  odoriferous  and  vane-*, 
gated  carpet  at  his  feet     He  thinks  himself* 
unheard,  and  he  shouts  out  his  compositiea 
with  honest  joy.     Now  he  plunges  into  the  lake^ . 
and  dive^  and  swims,  and  gambols  amid  the 
tiny  waves.     He  is  the  personation  of  animal 
spirits.    He  is  wild  with  the  sweet  and  inn<v> 
c&at  intoxioaition'  of  nature's  beauty.     It  ie«lx- 
Q'etock,  and  he  bears  the  bell  that  summolis^ 
him  to  bb^mmmiiig^stucUes.    The  soond  strik«i 


i 


i,i 


319  BATTLIN,    THE    BK£F£B. 

him  with  no  dismay.  His  Greek  and  Latin 
are  prepared ;  and  he  well  knows  that  the  hour 
of  his  examination  will  be  the  hour  of  his 
triumph.  He  looks  round,  and  he  sees  his 
master,  proud  of  him  and  his  talents;  and 
school-fellows,  that  have  all  for  him  the  greetings 
of  a  love  that  is  not  venal,  and  the  homage  of 
admiration  that  is  sincere.  Is  not  all  this 
delightful  ?  and  this  delight  was  all  mine.  Ah, 
my  good  sir  —  notwithstanding  your  bilious 
look,  and  pursed-up  mouth,  it,  or  something 
similar  to  it,  was  once  yours.  Notwithstand- 
ing the  late  fall  in  the  fiinds,  does  not  this 
description  throw  you  back  into  yourself — 
into  that  close  and  secret  arcanum  of  your 
seared  heart,  that  you  have  always  kept  sacred 
for  the  holier  feelings?  I'm  sure  it  does — I 
am  almost  inclined  to  believe  with  the  He- 
brews, that,  though  the  rest  of  the  mortal 
frame  will  perish,  there  is  a  minute  and  inde- 
structible particle  within  us,  a  sort  of  heart  of 
hearts,  that  shall  last  eternally,  and  about  it 
will  hang,  for  ever,  all  our  virtues  and  all  our 
youtliful    associations.      It   never    grows  old. 


BATTLIK,   THE    BKEFKA*  21) 

though  old  age  forgets  it  Be  it  my  office 
sometimes  to  remind  the  worldly,  that  they 
have  that  exhaustless  storehouse  of  happiness 
within  them. 

I  now  hegan  to  commit  the  sin  of  much  verse^ 
and  consequently  acquired  in  the  neighbouring 
village  much  notice.  No  chastising  blow,  (Ht 
even  word  of  reproof,  fell  upon  me.  My  mind 
was  fed  upon  praise,  and  my  heart  nourished 
with  caresses.  In  the  school  I  had  no  equal, 
and  my  vanity  whispered  that  such  was  the 
case  without  However,  this  vanity  I  did  not 
show,  for  I  was  humble  from  excessive  pride. 

There  are  two  animals  that  are  almost  cer- 
tain to  be  spoiled — a  very  handsome  young  man, 
and  the  **  cock  of  the  school."  Being  certainly 
in  the  latter  predicament,  I  was  only  saved 
from  becoming  an  utter  and  egregious  ass,  by 
the  advent  of  one,  the  cleverest,  most  impudent, 
rascally,  agreeable  scoundrel,  that  ever  swindled 
man  or  deceived  woman,  in  the  shape  of  a 
wooden-legged  usher.  He  succeeded  my  wor* 
thy  friend  of  the  guitar,  Mr.  Sigismund  Pon- 
tifex.    His  name  was  Riprapton,  and  he  only 


81S        BATTLIX,  THE  REEFKR. 

wanted  the  slight  requisite  of  common  honesty 
to  have  made  himself  the  first  man  of  any  so* 
ciety  in  which  fate  might  happen  to  cast  him — 
and  fate  had  been  pleased  to  cast  him  into  a 
great  many.  He  was  a  short,  compactly  made, 
symmetrically-formed  man,  with  a  countenance 
deeply  indented  with  the  small  pox,  and,  in  every 
bole,  there  was  visibly  ensconced  a  little  imp  of 
audaciousness.  His  eyes  were  such  intrepid 
and  quenchless  lights  of  impudence,  that  they 
could  look  even  Irish  sang  froid  out  of  counte- 
nance. And  then  that  inimitable  wooden  leg ! 
It  was  a  perfect  grace.  As  he  managed  it,  it 
was  irresistible.  He  did  not  progress  with  a 
miserable,  vulgar,  dot-and-go-one  kind  of  gait; 
he  neither  hopped,  nor  halted,  nor  limped;  and 
though  he  was  wood  from  the  middle  of  his 
right  thigh  downwards,  his  walk  might  almost 
have  been  called  the  poetry  of  motion.  He 
never  stumped,  but  he  stole  along  with  a  glissade 
that  was  the  envy  and  admiration — not  exactly 
of  surrounding  nations — but  of  the  dancing- 
master.  It  was  a  beaudfiil  study  to  «ee  him 
walk,  and  I  made  myself  master  of  it.    The 


RATTLIK,   THE    KEJBFXB.  218 

left  leg  was  inimitably  fonned;  the  calf  was 
p^hape  a  little  too  round  and  Hibernian — a 
fiuilt  gracious  in  the  eyes  of  the  £Eur  sex ;  tus 
ancle  and  foot  were  exquisitely  small  and  deli* 
cately  turned;  of  course,  he  always  wore  shorts^ 
with  immaculate  white  cotton  or  silk  stock* 
ings* 

I  shall  not  distinguish  the  two  legs  by  the 
termsy  the  living  and  the  dead  one — it  would  be 
as  great  an  injustice  to  the  carved  as  to  the 
calfed  one.  For  the  former  had  a  graceful  lifoi 
6ui  generis^  of  its  own.  I  shall  call  them  the 
pulsating  and  the  gyrating  leg,  and  now  pro- 
ceed to  describe  how  they  bare  along,  in  a  man- 
ner so  fascinating,  the  living  tabernacle  of  Mr. 
Klprapton.  The  pulsator,  with  pointed  toe, 
and  gently  turned  cal^  would  make  a  progress 
in  a  direct  line,  but  as  the  sole  touched  the 
ground,  the  heel  would  slightly  rise,  and  then 
&U9  and  whilst  you  were  admiring  the  undulat- 
ing  grace  of  the  pulsator,  unobserved  and 
silently,  you  would  find  the  gyrator  had  stolen 
a  march  upon  you,  and  actually  taken  the  fw 
o{  its  five-toed  brother.    One  leg  marched  and 


T  r>l 


214       RATTLIN9  THE  REEFEB. 

the  Other  swam,  in  the  prettiest  semicircle  ima- 
ginable. When  he  stopped,  the  flourish  of  the 
gyrator  was  inefiable.  The  drum-stick  in  the 
hand  of  the  big  black  drummer  of  the  first  regi* 
ment  of  foot  guards,  was  nothing  to  it.  When- 
ever Riprapton  bowed,  and  he  was  always  bow- 
ing, this  flourish  preluded  and  concluded  the 
salutary  bend.     It  was  making  a  leg  indeed. 

Many  a  time,  b«th  by  ladies  and  gentlemen, 
he  had  been  offered  a  cork  leg— but  he  knew 
better;  had  he  accepted  the  treacherous  gift, 
he  would  have  appeared  but  as  a  lame  man 
with  two  legs,  now  he  was  a  perfect  Adonis 
with  one.  I  do  believe,  in  my  conscience,  that 
Cupid  often  made  use  of  this  wooden  appendage 
when  he  wished  to  befriend  him,  instead  of  one 
ofhis  own  arrows,  for  he  was  really  a  marvellous 
favourite  with  the  ladies. 

Well,  no  sooner  had  my  friend  with  the  peg 
made  himself  a  fixture  in  the  school,  than  he 
took  me  down,  not  one  peg  or  two,  but  a  good 
half  dozen.  He  ridiculed  my  poetry — ^he  un- 
dervalued ray  drawing — he  hit  me  through  my 
most  approved  guards  at  my  fencing — be  beat 


BATTLIN,    THX    EEEFXX.  31 A 

me  hollow  at  bopping,  though  it  must  be  con- 
fessed,  that  I  had  the  advantage  with  two  legs ; 
but  he  was  again  my  master  at  ^*  all  fours." 
He  outtalked  me  immeasurably,  he  out-bragged 
me  most  heroically,  and  outlied  me  most  incon- 
ceivably.    Knowing  nothing  either  of  Latin  or 
Greek,  they  were  beneath  a  gentleman's  notice, 
fit  only  for  parsons  and  pedants ;  and  he  was 
too    patriotic    to    cast  a  thought    away  upon 
French.     As  he  was  engaged  for  the  arithme- 
tical  and  mathematical  departments,    it  would 
have  been  perhaps  as  well,  if  he  had  known  a 
Uttle  of  algebra  and  Euclid ;  but,  as  from  the 
first  day  he  honoured  me  with  a  strict,  though 
patronizing  friendship,  he  made  me  soon  under- 
stand  that  we  were  to  share  this  department  of 
knowledge  in  common.     It  was  quite  enough  if 
one  of  the  two  knew  anything  about  the  matter ; 
besides,   he  thought  that  it  improved  me  so 
much  to  look  over  the  problems  and  algebraical 
calculations  of  my  schoolfellows. 

With  tbb  man  I  was  continually  measuring 
my  strength ;  and  as  I  conceived  that  I  found 
myself  woefully  wanting,  he  proved  an  excellaBkt 


2M  EATTLIN,   THE   B£XFEE* 

moral  sedative  to  my  else  too  rampant  vanity. 
Few,  indeed,  were  the  persons  who  could  feel 
tfaanselves  at  ease  under  the  withering  sarcasms 
of  his  intolerable  insolence.  Much  more  to 
their  astonishment  than  to  their  instruction,  he 
would  very  coolly,  and  the  more  especially  when 
ladies  were .  present,  correct  the  divinity  of  the 
parson,  the  pharmacy  of  the  doctor,  and  the 
law  of  the  attorney;  and  with  that  placid  air 
of  infallibility  that  carried  conviction  to  all  but 
his  opponents. 

Once,  at  a  very  large  evening  party,  I  heard 
him  arguing  strenuously,  and  very  triumphantly, 
against  a  veteran  captain  of  a  merchant  ship, 
who  had  circumnavigated  the  world  with  Cook, 
that  the  degrees  of  longitude  were  equal  in 
length  all  over  the  world,  be  they  more  or  less 
— for  he  never  descended  to  details — and  that 
the  feurther  south  you  sailed,  the  hotter  it  grew, 
though  the  worthy  old  seaman  pointed  to  what 
remained  of  his  nose,  the  end  of  which  had  been 
nipped  off  by  cold,  and  consequent  mortification, 
in  the  antarctic  regions.  As  Riprapton  flourished 
his  wooden  index,  in  the  midst  of  his  brilliant  pe^ 


ronAnOf  he  toU  the  honest  seaman  Diat  he  had 
not  a  107  to  stand  upon ;  and  all  the  ladies,  and 
seme  of  the  gentlemen  too,  cried  out  with  one 
accord,  ^  O  fie,  Captam  Headman,  now  don't  be 
so  obetniate--6UTely  you  are  quite  mistaken.'' 
And  the  ardi-master  of  impudence  looked 
roond  with  modest  suavity,  and,  in  an  audible 
whisper,  assured  the  gentleman  that  sat  next  to 
him,  that  Captain  Headman's  argument  of  the 
demolished  proboscis  went  for  nothing,  for  that 
there  were  other  causes  equally  efficacious  as 
cokl  and  frost,  for  destroying  gentlemen's  noses. 
In  the  sequel  this  very  learned  tutor  had  to 
instruct  me  in  navigation*  Nothing  was  too 
hi^  or  too  low  for  him.  Had  any  persons 
wished  to  have  taken  lessons  in  judicial  astro* 
logy,  Mr.  Riprapton  would  not  have  refused 
the  pnpiL  Plausible  ignorance  will  always 
beat  awkward  knowledge,  when  the  ignorant, 
whidi  is  generally  the  case,  make  up  the  mass 
of  the  audience. 


VOL.   I. 


M 


218 


BATTLIN,    THE    REEFER. 


CHAPTER  XXL 

Treateth  of  the  amativeness  of  wooden  members,  and 
the  folly  of  virgin  frights — Ralph  putteth  his  threat 
of  versifying  into  actual  execution^  for  which  he  may 
be  ^bought  worthy  of  being  executed. 


Notwithstanding  the  superciliousness  of  my 
friendly  assistant,  I  still  wrote  verse,  which 
was  handed  about  the  village  as  something 
wonderfiiL  As  Riprapton  doubted,  or  rather 
denied  my  rhyming  prowess,  at  length  I  was 
determined  to  try  it  upon  himself  and  he 
shortly  gave  me  an  excellent  opportunity  for 
so  doing.  Writers  who  pride  themselves  on 
going  deeply  into  the  mysteries  of  causes  and 
eflfects  will  tell  you,  that  in  cold  weather  people 


RATTLIN,  THE  KESFEl.        219 

are  apt  to  congregate  about  the  fire.  Our  usher, 
and  a  drele  of  admuing  pupils,  were  one  day 
establishing  the  truth  of  this  profound  theory. 
The  timbered  man  was  standing  in  the  apex  of 
the  semicircle,  his  back  to  the  fire-place,  and  his 
coat  tails  tucked  up  under  his  arms.  He  was 
enjoying  himself  and  we  were  enjoying  him. 
He  was  the  hero  of  the  tale  he  was  telling  us — 
indeed,  he  never  had  any  other  hero  than  him- 
self— and  this  tale  was  wonderfuL  In  the 
energy  of  delivery,  now  the  leg  of  wood  would 
start  up  with  an  egotistical  flourish,  and  de- 
scribe with  the  leg  of  flesh,  a  right-angled  tri- 
angle, and  then  down  would  go  the  peg,  and 
up  the  leg,  with  the  toe  well  pointed,  whilst  he 
greeted  the  buckle  on  his  foot  with  an  admiring 
glance. 

Whilst  this  was  proceeding  in  the  school- 
room ;  in  the  back-kitchen,  or  rather  breakfast- 
parlour,  immediately  below,  in  a  very  brown 
study,  there  sate  a  very  fair  lady,  pondering 
deeply  over  the  virtues  of  brimstone  and  treacle, 
and  the  most  efficacious  antidote  to  chilblains. 
She  was  the  second  in  command  over  the  do- 

L  2 


2^  BATTLIN,    THE    E£EFSR. 

mestic  economy  of  the  school  Unmarried  of 
course.  And  ever  and  anon,  as  she  plied  the 
industrious  needle  over  the  heel  of  the  too 
fragmental  stocking,  the  low  melody  would 
burst  unconsciously  forth  of,  "  Is  there  nobody 
coming  to  marry  me  ?  Nobody  coming  to  woo- 
oo-oo?^  Lady^  not  in  vain  was  the  burden 
of  that  votive  song.  There  was  somebody 
coming,  ' 

Let  us  walk  up  stairs — Mr.  Rip  is  in  the 
midst  of  his  narrative — speaking  thus : — "  And, 
young  gentlemen,  as  I  hate  presumption,  and 
can  never  tolerate  a  coxcomb,  perceiving  that 
his  lordship  was  going  to  be  insolent,  up  went 

thus  my  foot  to  chastise  him,  and  down,*^ 

a  crash  !  a  cry  of  alarm,  and  then  one  of  deri- 
sion, and  behold  the  chastiser  of  insolence,  or  at 
least,  that  part  of  him  that  was  built  of  wood, 
through  the  floor ! 

Mr.  Cherfeuil  opening  the  door  at  this  moment, 
and  perceiving  a  great  noise,  and  not  perceiving 
bim  who  ought  to  have  repressed  it,  for  the 
boys  standing  round  tohat  remained  of  him 
with  us,  it  was  concealed  from  the  worthy  pe- 


RATTLIN,    TE£    EEBFEJI. 

dagogue^  who  exclaimed,  ^^  Vat  a  noise  be  here ! 
Vere  ist  Mr.  Reepraaptong?' 

« Just  stepped  down  below^  to  Miss  Brocade^ 
in  the  breakfast-parlour,'*  I  replied. 

<*  Ah,  bah !  c^est  un  veritable  chevalier  atix 
damee^  said  Mr.  Cherfeuil,  and  slanuning  to 
the  door,  he  hurried  down  stairs  to  reclaim  his 
too  gallant  representative.  We  allowed  Mr. 
Riprapton  to  inhabit  for  some  time  two  floors 
at  once,  for  he  was,  in  hb  position,  perfectly 
helpless ;  that  admired  living  leg  of  his,  stretched 
out  at  its  length  upon  the  floor.  We  'soon, 
however,  recovered  him ;  btit  so  much  I  cannot 
say  of  his  composure,  for  he  never  lost  it  I 
do  not  believe  that  he  was  ever  discountenanced 
in  his  life. 

**  Nobody  coming  to  woo-oo-oo,"  sang  Miss 
Brocade  below — down  into  her  lap  come 
mortar,  rubbish,  and  clouds  of  dust!  And, 
when  the  mist  clears  away,  there  pointed  down 
from  above  an  inexplicable  index.  Her  senses 
were  bewildered,  and  being  quite  at  a  loss  to 
comprehend  the  miracle,  she  had  nothing  else 
to  do  but  faint  away.      When  Mr.  Cherfeuil 


222        RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

I 

entered,  the  simple  and  good-natured  Gaul 
found  his  beloved  manageress  apparently  life- 
less at  his  feet,  covered  with  the  debris  of  his 
ceiling,  and  the  wooden  leg  of  his  usher  slightly 
tremulous  above  him.  The  fright,  of  course, 
was  succeeded  by  a  laugh,  and  the  fracture  by 
repairs,  and  the  whole  by  the  following  school- 
boy attempt  at  a  copy  of  verses,  upon  the  never- 
to-be-forgotten  occasion. 

Ambitious  usher  1  there  are  few 

Beyond  you  that  can  go, 
In  double  character^  to  woo 

The  lovely  nymph  below. 
At  once  both  god  and  man  you  ape 

To  expedite  your  flame  ; 
And  yet  you  find  in  either  shape, 

The  failure  just  the  same. 

Jove  fell  in  fair  Danae's  lap 

In  showers  of  glittering  gold ; 
By  Jove !  his  Joveship  was  no  sap  ! 

How  could  you  be  so  bold. 
To  hope  to  have  a  like  success. 

Most  sapient  ciphering  master. 
And  thhik  a  lady's  lap  to  bless 

With  show'rs  of  lath  and  plaster  ? 


aATTLIN,    THE    BEEFEIU  223 

That  you  should  fail^  when  you  essay'd 

To  act  the  god  of  thunder^ 
In  striving  to  enchant  the  maid^ 

Was  really  no  great  wonder ; 
But  when  as  man  you  wooing  go^ 

Pray  let  me  ask  you  whether 
You  had  no  better  leg  to  show. 

Than  one  of  wood  and  leather  ? 

These  verses  are  exactly  as  I  wrote  them, 
and  I  trust  the  reader  will  not  think  that  I 
could  now  be  guilty  of  such  a  line,  as  ^^  To  ew- 
pedite  your  flame,"  or  of  the  pedantic  school- 
boyism  of  calling  a  house-keeper  a  nymph.  In 
&Ct,  it  is  by  the  merest  accident,  that  I  am 
now  enabled  to  give  the^  in  their  genuine  shapa 
An  old  school-fellow,  whom  I  have  not  seen 
since  the  days  of  S}nitax,  and  whose  name  I  had 
utterly  forgotten,  enclosed  them  to  me  very 
lately. 

However,  such  as  they  are,  they  were  thought 
in  a  secluded  village  as  something  extraordinary. 
The  usher  himself  affected  to  enjoy  them  ex- 
tremely. They  added  greatly  to  my  reputation, 
and  what  was  of  more  consequence  to  me,  my 


224  BATTLIK,    THE   B£SfX|l. 

invitationB  to  dinner  and  to  tea.  Truly,  jny 
half-holidays  were  no  longer  my  own.  I  had 
become  an  object  of  curiosity,  and  I  hope 
and  believe,  in  many  instances,  of  affection.  I 
was  quite  cured  of  my  mendacious  propensities, 
by  the  pain,  the  horror,  and  the  disgust  that 
they  had  inflicted  upon  me  at  my  last  school 
I  invented  no  more  mysteries  and  improbabili- 
ties for  myself  but  my  good-natured  friends  did 
it  amply  for  me. 

Mrs.  Cherfeuil  asserted  she  knew  scarcely 
anything  about  me — ^indeed,  before  I  came  to 
her  school,  she  had  hardly  seen  me  four  times 
during  the  whole  space  of  my  existence.  She 
only  knew  that  I  was  the  child  of  a  lady  that 
accident  had  thrown  in  her  way,  a  lady  whom 
she  knew  but  shortly,  but  for  whom  she  ac- 
quired a  friendship  as  strong  as  it  proved  short; 
that,  from  mere  sjnoapathy  she  had  been  induced 
to  stand  godmother  to  me;  that  she  had  never 
felt  authorized,  nor  did  she  inquire  into  the 
particulars  of  my  birth.  Of  course,  there  was 
a  mystery  attached  to  it,  but  to  which  she  had 
no  due;  however,  she  knew,  that  at  least  on 


EATTLIN,  THE  BEEFRB.        225 

one  side,  I  came  of  good,  nay,  very  distinguished, 
parentage.  But  this,  her  departed  firiend  as- 
sured her,  and  that  most  solemnly,  that  who- 
ever should  stigmatize  me  as  illegitimate  would 
do  me  a  grievous  wrong. 

Here  was  a  subject  to  be  canvassed  in  a  gos* 
siping  village  I  Conjecture  was  at  its  busy 
worL  I  was  quite  satisfied  with  the  place  that 
the  imaginations  of  my  hospitable  patrons  had 
given  me  in  the  social  scale.  Nor  in  the  coun- 
try only  did  I  experience  this  friendly  feeling; 
most  of  my  vacations  were  spent  in  town,  at  the 
houses  of  the  parents  of  some  of  my  school-^ 
fellows.  I  was  now  made  acquiunted  with  the 
scenic  glories  of  the  stage.  I  fought  my  way 
tlirough  crowds  of  fools,  to  see  a  child  perform 
the  heroic  Coriolanus,  the  philosophical  Hamlet, 
and  the  venerable  and  magnificent  Lear.  Master 
Betty  was  at  the  height  of  his  reputation ;  and 
the  dignified  and  classical  Kemble  had,  for  a 
time,  to  veil  his  majestic  countenance  from  the 
play-going  eye.  Deeply  infatuated,  indeed, 
were  the  Molly-coddles  with  their  Betty. 

As  the  ^plomatists  say,  mine  was  a  curious, 

L  5 


i 


i!-.-* 


226         BATTLTK9  THE  REEFER. 

yet  a  pleasant  position.  I  felt  myself  shadowed 
from  all  evils  by  the  guardian  wings  of  an  un- 
avowed,  yet  fond  and  admiring  mother;  often, 
when  in  company,  have  I  seen  her  eye  glisten, 
and  her  face  flush,  with  the  mantling  blush  of 
triumph,  as  some  one  has  praised  me  for  some 
good  quality,  either  real  or  imaginary.  I  alone 
felt  and  understood,  and  loved  those  emotions, 
that  were  to  all  others  so  mysterious.  But  she 
followed  one  unvarjdng  policy :  her's  was  con- 
stantly the  language,  let  who  would  praise  me, 
of  gentle  depreciation,  but  a  depreciation  always 
accompanied  by  a  saving  clause,  that  generally 
made  it  real  commendation.  And  how  very 
cautious  she  was  of  showing  me  anything  like  a 
preference  !  Hardly  ever  did  I  find  myself  alone 
with  her,  and  on  those  rare  occasions  when  it  so 
happened,  her  manner  was  more  than  ordinarily 
cold.  The  words,  "  who  am  I  ?'  always  when 
we  were  thus  situated,  burned  upon  my  Ups, 
yet  such  was  the  respect  with  which  her  deport- 
ment inspired  me,  that  I  could  not  utter  what 
was  so  painful  to  suppress. 

Whatever  once  there   might  have  been,   at 


B  ATT  UN,    THK    BEEFES.  227 

this  period,  though  perhaps  placed  in  a  most 
romantic  situation,  there  was  not  a  particle  of 
romance  in  her  character.  How  could  there  be, 
when  her  bosom  was  continually  filled  with 
suppressed  tenderness,  and  peradventure,  fear  ? 
That  she  loved  me  with  a  surpassing  affection  I 
felt  assured,  from  two  little  circumstances;  the 
first  was,  every  night,  when  she  thought  me 
soundly  asleep,  before  she  retired,  herself  to 
rest,  she  came  and  kissed  me  as  I  lay  in  bed, 
first  ascertaining,  by  many  little  manoeuvres,  if  I 
were  not  awake.  She  would  stoop  down,  and 
as  she  eased  the  fulness  of  her  maternal  heart, 
she  did  it  tremblingly  and  cautiously,  like  a 
guilty  thing.  Once  or  twice,  I  purposely  let  her 
see  that  I  was  awake,  and  then,  as  I  watched 
her  retire,  she  did  so  with  a  look  of  such  sorrow 
and  disappointment,  that  I  was  determined  no 
more  to  inflict  upon  her  so  much  pain, — and 
thus,  whilst,  in  general,  the  expected  benison 
kept  me  awake  until  she  came  and  gave  it,  I 
always  feigned  sleep  that  I  might  ensure  it, 
and  a  sweet  nighf  s  rest  in  the  bargain,  to  my- 
self,    How  she  would  have  comforted  herself, 


I  Hi 


228 


SATTLIN,    THE    RSEFBB. 


had  I  been  seriously  ill,  I  cannot  conjecture,  for 
that  trial  was  never  put  upon  her ;  as,  notwith- 
standing  my  weakly  infancy,  and  excepting  dur- 
ing  the  low  fever  flogged  into  me  by  Mr.  Root, 
I  was  never  confined,  during  the  whole  course  of 
my  life,  by  any  malady,  for  a  single  day.  Of 
course  I  do  not  reckon  the  infliction  of  wounds 
and  the  effects  of  external  accidents  as  sick- 
nesses. 


BATTLIK.  THE  SEXFXB. 


929 


CHAPTER  XXII. 


Ralph  describeth  a  rare  character^  a  noble  and  a  good 
man — He  goeth  to  fish  without  a  rod^  and  sufTereth 
more  than  fifty  rods  could  inflict^  and  b  not  recon- 
ciled to  the  honour  of  the  sun  riding  him  a  pick-a- 
back. 


It  is  now  my  duty,  as  well  as  my  greatest 
pleasure,  to  put  on  record  the  true  kindness, 
the  considerate  generosity,  and  the  well-directed 
munificence  of  a  family,  a  parallel  to  which  can 
only  be  found  in  our  own  soil — a  superior  no- 
where. By  the  heads  of  thb  £Gunily,  I  was 
honoured  with  particular  notice.  Perhaps  they 
never  gave  a  thought  about  my  poetical  talent, 
or  the  wonderfol  progress  that  my  master  said 


230        BATTLIK,  THE  SEEFEB. 

that  I  had  made  in  my  classics,  and  my  wooden- 
legged  tutor  in  my  mathematics.  Their  kind 
patronage  sprang  from  higher  motives, — from 
benevolence;  they  had  heard  that  I  had  been 
forsaken — their  own  hearts  told  them  that  the 
sunshine  of  kindness  must  be  doubly  grateful  to 
the  neglected,  and,  indeed,  to  me  they  were 
very  kind. 

Perhaps  it  may  be  thought,  that  I  had  a 
quick  eye  to  the  failings  and  the  ridiculous 
points  of  those  with  whom  chance  threw  me  in 
contact  I  am  sure  that  I  was  equally  suscepti- 
ble to  the  elevation  of  character  that  was  offered 
to  me,  in  the  person  of  Mr. ,  the  re- 
spected father  of  the  family  of  which  I  have 
just  made  mention.  As  the  noble  class  to 
which  he  belonged,  and  of  which  he  was  the 
first  ornament,  are  fast  degenerating,  I  will 
endeavour  to  make  a  feeble  portrait  of  a  man, 
that  at  present  finds  but  too  few  imitators,  and 
that  could  never  have  found  a  superior.  He 
was  one  of  those  few  merchant  princes,— that 
was  really,  in  all  things,  princely.  Whilst  his 
comprehensive  mind  directed  the  commerce  of 


BATTLIN,  THE  SX£F£R.        231 

half  a  navy,  and  sustained  in  competence  and 
happiness  hundreds  at  home,  and  thousands 
abroad,  the  circle  immediately  around  him  felt 
all  the  fostering  influence  of  his  well-directed 
liberality,  as  if  all  the  energies  of  his  powerful 
genius  had  been  concentrated  in  the  object  of 
making  those  only  about  him  prosperous.  He 
was  bom  for  the  good  of  the  many,  as  much  as 
for  the  elevation  of  the  individuaL  Society  had 
need  of  him,  and  it  confessed  it  When  its 
interests  were  invaded  by  a  short-sighted  policy, 
it  called  upon  his  name  to  advocate  its  violated 
rights,  and  splendidly  did  he  obey  the  call.  He 
understood  England's  power  and  greatness,  for 
he  had  assbted  in  increasing  it;  he  knew  in 
what  consisted  her  strength,  and  in  that  strength 
he  was  strong,  and  in  his  own. 

As  a  senator,  he  was  heard  in  the  assembled 
councils  of  his  nation,  and  those  who  presided 
over  her  mighty  resources  and  influenced  her 
destinies,  that  involved  those  of  the  world, 
listened  to  his  warning  counsel,  were  convinced 
that  hb  words  were  the  dictates  of  wisdom,  and 
obeyed.      This  is  neither  fiction  nor  fulsome 


^ 

J 


.«f^  •: 


2SS        BATTLIN,  THE  REEFRR. 

panegyric.  The  &cts  that  I  narrate  have  become 
part  of  our  history ;  and  I  would  narrate  them 
more  explicitly,  did  I  not  fear  to  wound  the 
susceptibilities  of  his  still  existing  and  distin- 
guished family.  How  well  he  knew  his  own 
station,  and  preserved,  with  the  blandest  man- 
ners, the  true  dignity  of  it  I  Though  renowned 
in  parliament  for  hb  eloquence,  at  the  palace 
for  his  patriotic  loyalty,  and  in  the  city  for  his 
immense  wealth,  in  the  blessed  circle,  that  he 
truly  made  social,  there  was  a  pleasing  simpli- 
city and  joyousness  of  manner,  that  told,  at 
once,  the  faiscinated  guest,  that  though  he  might 
earn  honours  and  dbtinctions  abroad,  it  was  at 
home  that  he  looked  for  happiness — and,  un- 
common  as  such  things  are  in  this  repining 
world — there,  I  verily  believe,  he  found  it  His 
was  a  happy  lot :  he  possessed  a  lady,  in  his 
wife,  who  at  once  shared  his  virtues  and  adorned 
them.  The  glory  he  won  was  reflected  sweetly 
upon  her,  and  she  wore  with  dignity,  and  en- 
hanced those  honours,  that  his  probity,  his 
talents,  and  his  eloquence  had  acquired.  At 
the  time  of  which  I  am  speaking  he  was  blessed 


HATTUVy  TKE   EEBFSBi  SS3 

with  daughters^  that  eren  in  their  duldbood 
had  made  tfaemaelyes  ccmspicuotts  by  their  ae* 
oompliahments,  amiability  of  disposition,  and 
graoefdlness  of  manners^  and  plagued  with  sons 
yfbo  were  full  of  wildness,  waggishnesB,  and 
worth. 

.  It  is  too  seldom  the  case  that  the  person  acv- 
cords  with  the  high  qualification  of  the  mind 
Mr.     ■  was  a  singular  and  felicitous  except 

tion  to  this  mortifying  rule.  His  deportment 
was  truly  dignified,  his  firame  well-knit  and 
robust,  and  his  features  were  almost  classicaBy 
regular.  His  complexion  was  florid,  and  the 
expression  of  his  countenance  serene,  yet  highly 
intelligent  No  doubt  but  that  his  features 
were  capable  of  a  vast  range  of  expression « 
bttt^  as  I  never  saw  them  otherwise  than  beanw 
ing  with  benevolenq^,  or  sparkling  with  wit,  I 
must  refer  to  Master  James,  or  Master  Frank, 
for  the  description  of  the  austerity  of  his  frown, 
or  Ae  awfiilness  of  his  rebuke. 

This  gentleman's  two  elder  sons,  at  the  tine 
to  which  I  allude,  had  already  made  their  first 
step  in  the  world.    James  was  making  a  tour 


i 


j?-:jfc.! 


234        HATTLIK9  THE  EE£F£B. 

of  the  West  Indies,  the  continent  being  closed 
against  him  ;  and  Frank  had  akeady  began  his 
harvest  of  laiu^ls  in  the  navy  under  a  distin- 
guished officer.  The  younger  sons,  my  juniors, 
vi^ere  my  school-fellows.  Master  Frank  was  two 
or  three  years  my  senior,  and  before  he  went  to 
sea,  not  going  to  the  same  school  as  myself 
we  got  together  only  during  the  vacations; 
when,  notwithstanding  my  prowess,  he  would 
£Big  me  desperately  at  cricket,  out-swim  me  on 
the  lake,  and  out-cap  me  at  making  Latin  verses. 
However,  I  consoled  myself  by  saying,  ^^  As  I 
grow  older  all  tins  superiority  will  cease."  But 
when  he  returned,  after  his  first  cruise,  glitter- 
ing in  his  graceful  uniform,  my  hopes  and  my 
ambition  sank  below  zero.  He  was  already  a 
man,  and  an  officer — I  a  schoolboy,  and  nothing 
el3e.  ^ 

Of  course  he  had  me  home  to  spend  the  day 
with  him — and  a  day  we  had  of  it  It  was  in 
the  middle  of  siunmer,  and  grapes  were  ripe 
only  in  such  well-regulated  hot-houses  as  were 
Mr.  's.  We  did  not  enact  the  well- 
known  fable  as  it  is  written— the  grapes  were 


BATTLIK,  TH£  REBFEB*        295 

not  too  sour — nor  did  we  repeat  the  fox's  ill- 
natured  and  sarcastic  observation,  ^^  That  they 
were  only  fit  for  blackguards.''  We  found  them 
very  good  for  gentlemen — ^though,  I  fear,  Mr. 

^'s  dessert  some  time  after  owed  more  to 

Pomona  than  to  Bacchus  for  its  embellishments. 
And  die  fine  mulberry-tree  on  the  lawn — we  were 
told  that  it  must  be  shaken,  and  we  shook  it :  if 
it  still  exist,  I'll  answer  for  it,  it  has  never  been 
so  shaken  since. 

The  next  day  we  went  fishing.  Though  our 
bodies  were  not  yet  fully  grown,  we  were  per- 
scms  of  enlarged  ideas ;  and  to  suppose  that  we, 
two  mercurial  spirits,  could  sit  like  a  couple  of 
noodles,  each  with  a  long  stick  in  oilr  hands, 
waiting  for  the  fish  to  pay  us  a  visit,  was  the 
height  of  absurdity.  No,  we  were  rather  too 
polite  for  that ;  and  as  it  was  we,  and  not  the 
gentlemen  of  the  finny  tribe  that  sought  ac- 
quaintance, we  felt  it  our  duty  as  gentlemen  to 
visit  them.  We  carried  our  politeness  still  far- 
ther, and  showed  our  good  breeding  in  endea- 
vouring to  accommodate  ourselves  to  the  tastes 
and  habits  of  those  we  were  about  to  visit     ^^  Do 


▼  ■>! 


289  RATtLIK,   THE    JtEElTEB. 

at  Home  as  the  Romans  do,^  is  the  essence  of  all 
politeness.  As  our  friends  were  accustomed  to 
be  in  naturalUms — vu^ice^  stark  naked,  we 
adopted  their  Adamite  fiashion,  and,  undressing, 
in  we  plunged.  Our  success  was  greater  with 
the  finny,  than  was  that  of  any  exquisite,  with 
the  fan*  tribe.  We  captivated  and  captured  pail- 
fiiUu  We  drove  our  entertainers  into  the  narrow 
creeks  in  shoals,  and  then  with  a  net  extended 
between  us,  we  had  the  happiness  of  introduc- 
ing them  into  the  upper  air.  The  sport  was 
so  good,  that  we  were  induced  to  continue  it 
for  some  hours,  but  whilst  we  were  prepar- 
mg  for  a  multitudmous  fry,  the  sun  was  actuaUy 
all  the  while  enjoying  a  most  extensive  broil. 
Our  backs,  and  mine  especially,  became  one 
continuous  blister.  Whilst  in  the  water,  and  in 
the  pursuit,  I  did  not  regard  it — indeed,  we 
were  able  to  carry  home  the  trophies  of  our  suc- 
cess— ^and  then — I  hastened  to  bed.  My  back 
was  fairly  peeled  and  repeeled,  I  performed 
involuntarily  Mr.  St  John's  curative  process  to 
a  miracle.  No  wonder  that  I've  been  ever  since 
free  from  all,  even  the  slightest  symptoms  of  pul* 


EATTLIV,  THE  BKEFK&*       287 

monary  indispoflition.  However,  my  excruci- 
ating torments  gained  me  two  things-experir 
ence,  and  a  new  akin. 

When  I  had  fresh  skinned  myself  iuid  it  took 
me  more  than  a  week  to  do  it,  I  found  that 
my  feUow-labourer  had  flown.  I  heard  that  he 
had  suffered  ahnost  as  severely  as  myself  but^ 
as  he  looked  upon  himself  as  no  vulgar  heroi 
he  was  too  manly  to  complain,  and  next  Sunday 
he  actually  went  to  church,  whilst  I  lay  in 
bed  smarting  with  pain— yet  I  strongly  suspect 
that  a  new  sword,  that  he  had  that  day  to  hang 
by  his  side,  made  him  regardless  to  the  misery 
of  his  back. 

That  Sunday  fortnight  I  dined  with    Mr. 

,  and  of  course  he  did  me  the  honour  to 

converse  upon  our  fishing  exploit,  and  its  painful 
consequences. 

**  So,  Master  Rattlin,"'  said  the  worthy  gentle- 
man, ^^you  think  that  you  and  Frank  proved 
yourselves  excellent  sportsmen  r^ 

"  Yes,  sir,"  said  I ;  "  I  will  answer  for  the 
sport,  if  you  will  only  be  pleased  to  answer  for 
the  men.'' 


•:? 


238        RATTLIN,  THE  REEFEB. 

"  Well  said,  my  little  man  I"  said  Mrs. 

to  me,  smiling  kindly. 

"  You  see,  sir,  with  all  submission,  I  've 
gained  the  verdict  of  the  lady ;  and  that* s  a  great 
deal" 

"But  I  think  you  lost  your  hide.  Was 
your  back  very  sore  ?'  said  my  host  encourag- 
ingly. 

"  O    dear — ^very    sore    indeed,   sir !     Mrs. 

Cherfeuil  said  that  it  looked  quite  like  a  new 
cut  seak." 

"O  it  did,  did  it?  but  Frank's  was  not 
much  better"  said  the  senator  turning  to  his 
lady. 

"  Indeed  it  was  not,"  said  she  compassion- 
ately. 

"  Very  well,"  said  Mr. ,  very  quietly. 

"  I  '11  tell  you  this,  Master  Ralph,  sportsmen 
as  you  think  yourselves,  you  and  Frank, 
after  all,  whatever  you  both  were  when  you 
went  into  the  lake,  you  turned  out  two  Johnny 

"  Why,    Master    Rattlin,"    said    the    lady. 


BATTLIN,    THE    REEFER. 


2S9 


"  Mr.- 


uses  you  worse  than  the  sun — that 

did  but  scorch — but  he  roasts  yoiu^ 

^  No  wonder,  madam,  as  he  considers  me 
raw"  replied  I. 


d 


340 


&ATTLIK,   THR   BSBFJER« 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 

Reminiscences — ^A  friend  found  and  a  line  lost — Ralph 
makes  a  new  acquaintance  and  a  hearty  supper^ 
both  of  which  do  him  much  good* 


Openly  admired  abroad,  and  secretly  cherished 
by  a  love,  the  more  intense  because  concealed, 
at  home,  the  course  of  my  days  was  as  happy 
as  the  improvement  in  the  various  branches  of 
my  education  was  rapid  Nor  was  I  wholly  un« 
noticed  by  men  who  have  since  stood  forward, 
honoured  characters,  in  the  van  of  those  who 
have  so  nobly  upheld  the  fame  of  England. 
The  bard  who  began  his  career  in  the  brightest 
fields  of  Hope,  and  whose  after-fame  "has  so 
well  responded   to   his  auspicious   commence- 


•y 


„«.^  re«i  ™„y  port™  of  „y  bo^  «. 
tempts,  and  pronounced  them  full  of  promise^ 
and  the  author  possessed  of  nous.  It  was  the 
term  he  hunself  used,  and  that  is  the  only 
reason  why  I  have  recorded  it  Indeed,  this 
deservedly  great  man  was,  in  some  sense,  my 
schoolfellow,  for  he  came  in  the  evening  to 
learn  French  of  JVL  CherfeuiL  He  was  then 
engaged  to  translate  an  epic,  written  by  one 
of  the  Buonapartes,  into  English  verse.  I 
believe  that  engagement  never  was  carried  Into 
effect,  notwithstanding  the  erudite  pains   Mr. 

took  to  qualify  himself  to  perform  it 

successfully.  No  man  could  have  laboured 
more  to  make  himself  master  of  the  niceties  of 
the  Gallic  idiom,  and  the  right  use  of  its  very 
doubtful  subjunctive. 

At  the  time  to  which  I  allude,  the  inspired 
author  wore  a  wig  —  not  that  his  then  age 
required  one.  Perhaps,  the  fervid  state  of 
his  brain,  like  a  hidden  volcano,  burnt  up 
thQ  herbage  above — perhaps,  his  hair  waa  faU* 
ing  off  from  the  friction  of  his  laiusels — per- 
haps growing  prematurely  grey  fitna  the  work^ 

VOL.  I.  M 


I 


242        RATTLIN,  THE  BEEFEB. 

iDgs  of  his  spirit;  but  without  venturing  upon 
any  more  conjectures,  we  may  safely  come  to 
the  conclusion,   that  the  hair  that  God  gave 
him  did  not  please  him  so  well  as  that  which 
he  bought  of  the  perruquiers.     Since  we  cannot 
be  satisfied  with  the  causes,  we  must  be  satisfied 
with  the  £efcct — he  wore  a  wig;  and,  in  the  dis- 
traction of  mental  perplexity,  when  M.  Cher- 
feuil  was  essaying  to  get  the  poet  out  of  the 
absent  into  the  conditional  mood,  the  man  of 
verse    staring    abstractedly  upon  the  man   of 
tense,  would  thrust  his  hand  under  his  peruke, 
and  rub,  rub,  rub  his  polished  scalp,  which  all 
the  while  effused  a  divine  ichor — (poets  never 
perspire) — and,  when  he  was  gently  reminded 
that  his  wig  was  a  little  awry  towards  the  left 
side,  he  would  pluck  it,  resentfully,  equally  as 
much  awry  on  the  right ;  and  then,  to  punish 
tihe  offending  and   displacing   hand,  he  would 
commence  gnawing  off  the  nails  of  his  fingers, 
rich  with  the  moisture  firom  above.     We  have 
recorded   this  little  personal   trait,  because    it 
may  be  valuable  to  the  gentleman's  future  bio- 
graphers ;  and  also  because  it  is  a  convincing 


RATTL1N)  THE  REEFER.        243 

proof  to  the  illiterate  and  the  leveller,  that  head 
work  is  not  such  easy,  sofii-enjoyed  labour,  as 
is  commonly  supposed;  and  finally,  that  the 
great  writer's  habit,  vivos  ungues  rodere,  proves 
him  to  be,  tooth  and  niul,  homo  cui  unguem 
foetus. 

I  was  also  honoured  with  the  friendship  and 

monitory  familiarity   of  Dr.    ,    a  retired 

head-master  of  one  of  our  principal  public 
schools.  He  was  a  man  who  had  seen  much  of 
the  highest  circles,  had  been  a  courtier,  and 
was  once  upon  a  most  intimate  footing  with 
the  third  George.  This  gentleman  gave  me 
lessons,  better  than  any  I  have  ever  heard  or 
read,  upon  the  practicability  of  true  Chris- 
tianity in  every  grade  of  life.  He  impressed 
upon  my  mind,  that  Christianity,  though  a 
creed,  was  as  essentially  a  virtue  as  courage, 
and  as  necessary  to  the  fulfilment  of  the  duties 
of  life.  He  showed  me  that  it  could  go  with 
the  labourer  to  the  plough,  with  the  lawyer  to 
the  bar,  and  even  with  the  soldier  to  battle. 
He  proved  to  me  that  it  might  be  courtly  with 
the  polished  gentleman,  gainful  with  the  mer- 

M  2 


244        BATTLIN,  THE  AESFER. 

chant,  and  even  rough  with  the  sailor ;  and  yet, 
be  not  only  in  all  truth  itself  unchanged,  yet 
continually  changing  those  who  possessed  it 
really,  into  better  and  higher  beings.  I  owe 
him  much  that  I  ought  to  have  treasured  with 
a  better  memory,  and  to  have  repaid  with  a 
better  life. 

I  feel,  also,  that  there  are  many  other  persons 
to  whom  I  ought  to  pay  a  passing  tribute  of 
gratitude  for  much  kindness  shown  to  me ;  but, 
as  my  first  duty  is  to  my  readers,  I  must  not 
run  the  risk  of  wearying  them  even  by  the  per- 
formance of  a  virtue.  But  there  was  one,  to 
omit  the  mention  of  whom  would  be,  dn  my 
part,  the  height  of  ingratitude,  and,  as  concerns 
the  public,  something  very  like  approaching  to 
a  fraud;  for  by  the  implied  contract  between 
it  and  me,  I  am,  in  this  my  auto-biography, 
bound  to  supply  them  with  the  very  best  mate- 
rials, served  up  to  them  in  my  very  best  manner. 
The  gentleman  whom  I  am  going  to  introduce 
to  the  notice  of  my  readers,  was  the  purest 
personation  of  benevolence  that  perhaps  ever 
existed     His  countenance  was  a  flowing  index 


BATTLIN,  THK  KBXFEB.        245 

of  peace  with  himself  goodwill  to  man,  and 
confidence  in  the  love  of  Grod.  There  was  with- 
in him  that  divine  sympathy  for  all  around  him, 
that  brings  man,  in  what  man  can  alone  emulate 
die  angels,  so  near  to  his  Creator.  But  with 
all  this  goodness  of  soul  there  was  nothing 
approaching  to  weakness,  or  even  misjudging 
softness;  he  had  seen,  had  known,  and  had 
struggled  with  the  world  He  left  the  sordid 
strife  triumphantly,  and  bore  away  with  him, 
if  net  a  large  fortune,  a  competence ;  and  what 
also  was  of  infinitely  more  value,  that  ^^  peace  of 
mind  which  passeth  all  understanding.*** 

Mr.  R— -  was,  in  his  person,  stout,  tall, 
florid  in  his  countenance,  and,  for  a  man 
past  fifty,  the  handsomest  that  I  have  ever 
beheld.  I  do  not  mean  to  say  that  his 
features  possessed  a  classical  regularity,  but 
that  soul  of  benevolence  transpired  through, 
and  was  bound  up  with  them,  that  had  a  marble 
bust  fitly  representing  them  been  handed  down 
to  posterity  from  some  master-hand  of  antiquity, 
we  should  have  reverenced  it  with  awe  as  some- 
thing beyond  human  nature,  and  gazed  on  it 
at  llie  same  time  with  love,  as  being  so  dearly 


indeed  so   thin,  that  the  top  of   his  he 
(juite  bald.     A  snuff-coloured  coat,  cut 
olden  fashion,  knee-breeches,  white  lamt 
stockings,  and   shoes  of  rather  high  qi 
gave  a  little  of  the  primitive  to  his 
respectable  appearance. 

I  first  saw  him  as  he   was  pretend 
angle  in  the  river  that  runs  through  the  ' 
Immediately  I  had   gazed  upon  his  ben 
countenance,  I  went  and  sate  down  by  h 
could  not  help  it     At  once  I  understo 
urbanity  and  the    gentlemanliness  that 
have   existed  in  the  patriarchal  times, 
was  no  need  of  forms  between  U8«    He 
room  for  me  as  a  son,  and  I  looked  up  1 
as  to  a  father.    He  smiled  upon  me  so  < 
ragingly,  and  so  confidently,  that  I  fomi< 


BATTLIN,  THE  EEEFEB.         247 

and,  on  my  part,  an  absorbing  love  was  between 
U8.  We  remained  for  a  space  in  this  caressing 
position,  in  silence ;  my  eyes  now  drinking  in 
the  rich  hues  of  the  evening,  now  the  mental 
expression  of  the  ^^  good  old  man."  ^^01  it  is 
very  beautiful,''  said  I,  tbinking  as  much  of 
his  mild  &ce  as  of  the  gorgeousness  of  the  sky 
above  me. 

"  And  do  you  feel  itT  said  he.  « Yes,  I 
see  you  do;  by  your  glistening  eyes  and 
heightened  colour." 

**  I  feel  very  happy,"  I  replied ;  "  and  have 
just  now  two  very,  very  strange  wishes,  and  I 
don't  know  which  I  wish  for  most*" 

"  What  are  they,  my  little  friend  ?' 

^O  !  you  will  laugh  at  me  so  if  I  tell 
you." 

<^  No,  I  will  not,  indeed.  I  never  laugh  at 
anybody." 

**  Ah,  I  was  almost  sure  of  that  Well,  I 
was  wishing  when  I  looked  up  into  the  sky, 
that  I  could  fly  through  and  through  those 
golden  clouds  like  an  eagle ;  *and  when  I  looked 
at  you,  I  wished  that  F  were  just  such  a  good- 
natured  old  gentleman." 


->mm 


248        BATTLIKi  THE  EEEFEB. 

.^  <<  Come,  come,  there  is  more  flattery  than 
good  sense  in  your  wishes.  Your  first  is  un- 
reasonable, and  your  second  will  come  upon 
you  but  too  soon.** 

<<  I  did  not  mean  to  flatter  you,*^  I  replied, 
looking  proudly ;  <^  for  I  would  neither  be  an 
eagle  nor  a  old  man,  longer  than  those  beauti- 
ful clouds  last,  and  the  warm  sunset  makes 
your  face  look  so — so " 

"  Never  mind — you  shall  save  your  fine 
speeches  for  the  young  ladies." 

"  But  I  have  got  some  for  the  gentlemen 
too :  and  there's  one  running  in  my  head  just 


now." 


"  I  should  like  to  hear  it" 

"  Should  you  ?  Well,  this  fine  evening  put 
me  in  mind  of  it ;  it  is  Mrs.  Barbauld's  Ode.'* 
And  then  putting  myself  into  due  attitude,  I 
mouthed  it  through  much  to  my  own,  and  still 
more  to  Mr.  R.*8  satisfaction.  That  was  a 
curious,  a  simple,  and  yet  a  cheering  scene. 
My  listener  was  swaying  to  and  ft*©,  with  the 
cadences  of  the  poetry;  I  with  passionate  fer- 
vour ranting  before  him;  and,  in  the  mean 
time,  his  rod  and  line,   unnoticed  by  either 


RATTLIK,    THE    BEEFER.  249 

were  nayigating  peacefidly,  yet  rapidly,  down 
the  riven  When  I  had  concluded,  his  tackle 
was  just  turning  an  eddy,  far  down  below  us, 
and  the  next  moment  was  out  of  sight 

l^thout  troubling  ourselves  much  about  the 
loss,  shortly  after,  we  were  seen  hand  in  hand, 
walking  down  the  village  in  earnest  conversa- 
tion. I  went  home  with  him — I  shared  with 
him  and  his  amiable  daughters  a  light  and  early 
supper,  of  fruit  and  pastry ;  and  such  was  the 
simultaneous  affection  that  sprung  up  between 
us — so  confiding  was  it  in  its  nature,  and  so 
little  worldly,  that  I  had  gained  the  threshold, 
and  was  about  taking  my  leave,  ere  it  occurred 
to  him  to  ask,  or  myself  to  say,  who  I  was,  and 
where  I  resided 

From  that  evening;  excepting  when  employed 
in  my  studies,  we  were  almost  inseparable.  I 
told  him  my  strange  story ;  and  he  seemed  to 
love  me  for  it  a  hundredfold  more.  He  laid 
all  the  nobility,  and  even  the  princes  of  the 
blood,  under  contribution,  to  procure  me  a 
fietther.  He  came  to  the  conclusion  firmly,  and 
at  once,  that  Mrs.  Cherfeuil  was  my  mother. 

M  5 


ecsracv  ui   nfiii^m.     xx^^    i»xt..»v.^    

irave  me  subjects — he  trave  me  advice — he  g; 
me  emendations,   and   interpolations.       He 
youthed  himself.     In  many  a  sequestered  nc 
in  the  beautiful  vicinity  of  the  village,  we  h; 
sat,  each  with  his  pencil  and  paper  in  his  hs 
— now   ranting,    now  conversing — and  in 
converse  the  instruction  I  received  was  inv{ 
able.     He  has  confirmed  me  in  the  doctrine 
the  innate  goodness  of  human  nature.   Since 
period   to  which  I  am  alluding,    I   have   8 
much  of  villany.     I  have  been  the  victim, 
well  as  the  witness,  of  treachery.     I  have  h 
oftentimes    forced  to    associate  with   vice 
every  shape ;  and  yet  when,  in  misery,  when 
pressed,  when  writhing  under  tyranny,  I  1 
been  sometimes  tempted  to  curse  my  race, 
iViniicrht  of  the  kind,   the    good  old  man. 


BATTLIN,    THE    REBFSB. 


251 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 


A  disaster  hj  water  is  the  first  cause  of  all  Ralph's 
future  disasters  upon  it — He  gets  with  his  tutor  out 
of  his  depths  in  latitude  and  longitude ;  and  finds 
himself  riyalled  hj  the  man  with  the  peg. 

Of  course,  Mr.  R.  sought  and  soon  gained  the 
firiendship  of  Mrs.  Gierfeuil — and  then  he 
commenced  operations  systematically.  Now 
he  would  endeavour  to  take  her  by  surprise — 
now  to  overcome  by  entreaty,  and  then  to 
entrap  by  the  most  complex  cross  questions. 
He  would  be,  by  turns,  tender,  gallant,  pathetic, 
insinuating;  but  all  was  of  no  avail— her  secret, 
whatever  it  was,  was  firmly  secured  in  her  own 
bosom.     With  well-acted   simplicity   she    gave 


T    r     &4«,A  V        1^  v^  ^/  t^^»m^ 


write   toii^ethcr — how   he  prophesied  my  fu 
greatness,   and    how   fervently   he  set  abou 
convince  any  one  of  his  mistake,  who  could 
see  in  me  the  future  glory  of  the  age ! 
good  man !     His  amiable  self-deception  wa 
him  the  source  of  the  purest  happiness; 
never  was  happiness  more  deserved.    Evei 
that  early  age,  I  often  could  not  help  smilin 
his  simplicity,  that  all  the  while  he  was  d* 
his  best  to  make  me  one  of  the  vainest  and  i 
^regions  coxcombs,  by  his  unfeigned  woi 
at  some  puny  effort  of  niy  puny  muse,  an< 
his  injudicious  praises,  he  would  lecture 
parentally,  by  the  hour,  upon  the  excellenc 
humility,  and  the  absolute  necessity  of  modi 
as   a   principal  ingredient    to   make   a  ^ 
character. 


RATTLIN,  THE  BEEFXB.        263 

poor  Gil  Bias,  the  eighth  wonder  of  the  world, 
he  would  soon,  in  his  own  refined  phraseology, 
convince  me  that  I  was  "  no  great  shakes.'' 
Being  now  nearly  sixteen,  I  began  to  make  con- 
jectures upon  my  future  destiny ;  and  a  sorrow- 
ful accident  at  once  determined  in  what  line  I 
should  make  my  ineffectual  attempts  upon 
fliine. 

I  have  mentioned  a  noble  piece  of  water 
that  lay  adjacent  to  the  school*  It  was  during 
the  holidays,  when  the  rest  of  the  young  gentle- 
men were  at  their  respective  homes,  that  I, 
accompanied  by  some  young  acquaintances  who 
resided  in  the  village,  repaired  to  the  water  to 
swim.  It  was  a  fine  summer's  afternoon,  and 
both  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Cherfeuil  were  in  town. 
There  was  a  little  boy  named  Fountain,  also 
staying  with  me  at  school  during.the  vacation, 
and  he  too  stole  after  us  unperceived,  and  when 
I  and  my  companions  had  swam  to  the  middle 
of  the  lake,  the  imprudent  little  fellow  also 
stripped,  and  went  into  the  water.  There  were 
some  idle  stragglers  looking  on,  and,  when  I 
was  fisu*,    very  far  firom  the   spot,   the  fearful 


and  sinotliered  cry  of  "  Ralph  Rattlin  !'' 
fellow,  ho  tliouirht  thvvc  was  sjifotv  where 
was,  for  I  had  often  borne  him  over  the  lafc 
of  his  depth,  as  I  taught  him  to  swim,  at 
art  he  was  stiU  too  imperfect     I  immed 
turned  to  the  place,  and  strove,  and  buff 
and  panted,  but  the  distance  was  great; 
though    a  rapid   and    most   expert  swii 
when  I  arrived  at  the  spot  that  the  looke 
indicated,   not  a  circle,  not  a  ruffle  app 
to  show  where  a  human  soul  was  struj 
beneath,  to  free  itself  from  its  mortal 
Four  or  five  limes  I  dived,  and  stayed 
the    water    with    desperate    pertinacity, 
ploughed  up  the  muddy  bottom,  but  the; 
pointed  out  to  me  the  wrong  spot 

Finding  my  efforts  useless,  naked  as  ] 


BATTLIN)  THE  &EEFXE.        255 

lake^  I  was  there  before  them  and  again  diving. 

Mrs. y  the  lady  of  the  M.  P,  whom  I  have 

before  mentioned,  who  was  always  the  foremost 
in  every  work  of  humanity,  was  soon  on  the 
banks,  accompanied  by  many  of  the  most 
respectable  mhabitants  in  the  vicinity.     Mrs. 

^  who  never  lost   her  presence  of  mind, 

immediately  suggested  that  a  boat  that  lay  on 
the  neighbourmg  river,  and  which  belonged  to 
the  landlord  of  the  principal  inn,  should  be 
conveyed,  on  men's  shoulders,  across  the  space 
of  land  that  divided  one  water  from  the  other. 
The  landlord  refused — yes,  actually  refused — 

but  Mrs. ,  who  from  her  station,  and  her 

many  virtues,  possessed  a  merited  and  com- 
manding influence  in  the  place,  ordered  the  boat 
to  be  taken  by  force,  and  she  was  promptly  and 
cheerfully  obeyed.  Whilst  this  was  going  for- 
ward, I  was  astonishing  everybody  by  the  length 
of  time  I  stayed  underneath  the  water;  and 
a  last  effort  almost  proved  fatal  to  me,  for,  when 
I  arose^  the  blood  gushed  from  my  mouth  and 
nose ;  and,  when  I  got  on  shore,  I  felt  so  weak, 
that  I  was  obliged  to  be  assisted  in  dressing 


'>■ 


!■_  '  b 


256        RATTLIX,  THE  REEFER. 

myseUl  The  boat  now  began  to  sweep  the 
bottom  with  ropes,  but  this  proved  as  ineffectual 
to  recover  the  body  as  were  my  own  exertions. 

It  was  the  next  day  before  it  was  found,  and 
then  it  was  brought  up  by  a  Newfoundland 
dog,  very  far  from  the  spot  in  which  we  had 
searched  for  it  Had  the  frightened  spectators, 
who  stood  on  the  store,  but  have  shown  me 
correctly  where  the  lad  had  disappeared,  I  have 
no  doubt  but  that  I  should  have  brought  the 
body  up  in  time  for  recuscitation.  To  persons 
who  have  not  seen  what  can  be  done  by  those 
who  make  water,  in  a  manner,  their  own 
element,  my  boyish  exertions  seemed  almost 
miraculous.  My  good  old  friend  was  present, 
betraying  a  curious  mixture  of  fear  and  admira- 
tion ;  big,  as  I  then  was,  he  almost  carried  me 
in  his  arms  home,  that  is,  to  the  school-house, 
and  there  we  found  all  in  confrision  :  Mrs. 
Cherfeuil  had  just  arrived,  and  hearing  that  one 
of  the  boys  was  drowned,  had  given  one  painful 
shriek  and  fainted.  When  we  came  into  the 
room  she  was  still  in  a  state  of  insensibility,  and, 
as  we  stood  around,  she   slowly  opened   her 


AATTLIK,  THE  REEFER.       257 

eyes;  but  the  moment  that  they  became  con- 
scious of  my  presence,  she  leaped  up  with 
frantic  joy  and  strained  me  in  her  arms,  and 
then,  laying  her  head  upon  my  shoulder,  burst 
into  a  passion  of  tears.  Mr.  R.  cast  upon  me 
a  most  triumphant  smile,  and,  as  he  led  me 
away  from  the  agitated  lady,  she  took  a  silent 
fiurewell  of  me,  with  a  look  of  intense  fondness, 
and  a  depth  of  ineffable  felicity,  which  I  hope 
will  be  present  to  me  in  my  dying  hour;  for 
assuredly  it  will  make  light  the  parting  pang. 

All  this  may  seem  very  vain-glorious,  but  I 
cannot  help  it — the  truth  is  dearer  to  me  than 
my  bashfulness — and  I  believe  so  well  of  the 
most  cynical  that  may  condemn  this  egotbm, 
as  to  think  that,  under  similar  circumstances, 
they  would  have  acted  in  a  similar  manner. 
However,  this  affair  changed  the  whole  current 
of  Mr.  R — d — n's  ideas,  and  altered  his  plans 
for  me.  I  was  no  longer  to  be  the  future  poet 
laureate ;  I  was  no  more  enticed  to  sing  great 
deeds,  but  to  do  them.  The  sword  was  to  dis- 
place the  pen,  the  hero  the  poet  Verse  was 
too  effeminate,  and  rhyme  was  severely  interdict- 


Cherfcuil  over  to  his  opinions.  It  was  i 
that  she  protested  the  direction  of  my  fa 
in  other  hands,  he  would  not  Us  ten  to 
a  moment ;  he  was  obstinate,  and  I  supp( 
what  occurred,  he  was  in  the  right  I 
dared  that  the  navy  was  the  only  pro: 
that  deserved  my  spirit  and  my  abilities, 
declaration,  perhaps,  was  not  unaccepta 
head  quarters,  wherever  they  might  have 
For  myself  I  was  nothing  loath,  and  th 
lant  bearing  and  the  graceful  uniform  • 

gallant  young  friend,  Frank  ,  wl 

already  seen  some  hard  fighting,  added 
stimulants  to  my  desires.  My  friend  B 
ton  had  now  the  enviable  task  to  impart 
the  science  of  navigation,  and,  with  his  p< 
notions  of  longitude  and  latitude,  there  c 


RATTLIN,  TH£  SEEFSS.        259 

that  he  was  forced  to  attend  to  it  a  litde  under 
mine,  the  harmony  of  our  friendship  was  broken 
by  a  quarrel;  yes,  a  heart-embroiling  quarrel 
— and,  strange  to  say,  about  a  lady.  I  concede 
to  this  paragon  of  ushers  that  he  was  a  general 
&vourite  with  the  sex.  I  was  never  envious  of 
hiuL  All  the  world  knows  that  I  ever  did 
sufficient  honour  to  his  attractions — I  acknow- 
ledged alwajrs  the  graces  that  appertained  to 
lus  wooden  progression — but  still,  he  was  not 
omnipotent  Wilkes,  that  epitome  of  all 
manner  of  ugliness,  often  boasted  that  he  was 
only  an  hour  behind  the  handsomest  man  that 
ever  existed,  as  far  as  regarded  his  position 
with  the  fadr.  Rip  was  but  twenty-five  minutes 
and  a  fraction.  In  ten  minutes  he  would 
talk  the  generality  of  women  into  a  good 
opinion  of  themselves — an  easy  matter  some 
may  think,  for  the  ladies  have  one  ready  made 
— ^but  it  is  a  different  thing  from  having  it  and 
daring  to  own  it  In  ten  minutes  he  would 
make  his-  listener,  by  some  act  or  word,  avow 
her  opinion  of  her  own  excellence,  in  ten  more 
he  would  bring  her  to  the  same  opinion  as  re- 


d 


thing  was  done  ;  for  if  he  had  not  mi 
conquest,  he  clironicled  one — and  that  wi 
same  thing.  He  looked  more  for  the 
than  the  fruition  of  his  passions.  In 
respect,  he  followed  Chesterfield's  advice 
wonderful  accuracy ;  he  hazarded  a  dedai 
of  love  to  every  woman  between  sixteen 
sixty,  a  little  under  and  over  also;  for, 
his  lordship,  he  came  to  the  very  pert 
conclusion,  that,  if  the  act  were  not  taker 
sincerity,  it  would  be  as  a  compliment, 
ready-made  adorer,  for  every  new-comer,  i;i 
jealous  as  he  was  universal  in  his  attachme 
Let  the  imaginative  think,  and,  running 
with  their  mind's  eye  all  the  beautiful  i 
tures  of  antiquity,  endeavour  to  pictu 
themselves  a  personation  of  that  comma 


SATTUN,  THE  RKEFEI.       861 

must  be  full  yet  not  swelling ^and»  as  &r  se- 
moved  firom  the  modem  notions  of  en  bon  point 
as  posttUe — let  us  add  to   these  the  bust  of 
Venus  ere  she  weaned  her  first  bom,  the  winged- 
boy  god ;  and  then  we  may  have  an  adequate 
idea  of  the  figure  of  Mrs.  Causand.    Her  fiice 
was  of  that  style  of  beauty  that  those  women 
who  think  themselves  delicate  are  pleased  to 
slander  under  the   name   of  bold — a  style  of 
beauty,  however,  that  all  men  admire  and  most 
men  like.     Thirty-five  years  had  only  written  in 
a  stronger  hand  those  attractions  which  must 
have  undergone  every  phase  of  loveliness,  and 
which  now,  without  appearing  matronly,  seemed 
stamped  with  the  signs  of  a  long-enduring-ma- 
turity.     The  admiration  she  excited  was  general ; 
as  she  passed,  men  paused  to  look  upon  her, 
and  women  whispered  to  each  other  behind  her 
back.     Never,  till  this  paragon  had  made  her 
appearance,  had  I  heard  of  ladies  wearing  sup- 
posititious portions  of  the  human  frame — now  I 
found  that  envy,  or  the  figure  maker,  had  im- 
jNToved  almost  every  member  of  Mrs.  Causand's 
body.     It  was  voted  by  all  the  female  scandal 


cism  must  have  been  as  artificial  as  Mr.  Ri| 
ton's  left  leij,  and  ^lle  must  have  been   not 
more   than  an  animated  lay  figure,   I   bega 
disbelieve  these  assertions,  the  more  espec 
as  the  lady  herself  was  as  easy  under  then 
she  was  in  every  gesture  and  motion.    When^ 
she  made  her  appe^ance,  so  did  my  old  fri 
Mr.  R— d— n ;  he  entertained  a  platonic  atti 
ment  for  her,  and  that  the  more  strongly, 
each  visit  enabled  him  to  entertain  every 
who  would  listen  to  him,  with  a  long  story  ab 
the  king  of  Prussia.     And  every  lady  exp< 
attention  and  politeness  as  a  matter  of  cow 
equally  as  a  matter  of  course  did  she  expect 
assiduities  and  some  manifestation,  even  stron 
than  gallantry — and  treated  it  merely  as  a  mal 
of  course.    Really,  without  an  hyperbole, 


RATTLIN,  THE  BEEFER.        263 

Her  first  appearance  even  silenced  the  hither- 
to  dauntless  loquacity  of  Rip— for  half  a  minute. 
But  he  made  fearful  amends  for  this  involuntary 
dbplay  of  modesty  afterwards.  Secundum  ar* 
tenii  he  opened  all  the  batteries  of  his  fascina- 
tion upon  her.  He  rolled  his  eyes  at  her  with 
a  violence  approaching  to  agony;  he  bowed ;  he 
displayed  in  every  possible  and  captivating  atti- 
tude his  one  living  leg — ^but  his  surpassing 
strength  was  m  the  adulation  of  his  serpent 
tongue — and  she  bore  it  all  so  stoically;  she 
would  smile  upon  him  when  he  made  a  good  hit, 
as  upon  an  actor  on  the  boards— -she  would,  at 
times,  even  condescend  to  improve  some  of  his 
compliments  upon  herself;  and  when  her  easy 
manners  had  perchance  overset  him  at  the  very 
deMit  of  one  of  his  finest  speeches,  she  would 
begin  it  again  for  him ;  taking  up  the  dropped 
sentence,  and  then  settle  herself  into  a  compla- 
cent attitude  for  listening. 


CHAPTER  XXV. 


Eyidences  of  good  taste  in  favour  of  Master 
Jealousy  ushers  in  revenge^  revenge  re 
which  he  is  compelled  to  chronicle  on  thf 
face^  and  what  punishment  thereupon  entuc 

When  Mrs.  Causand  came  to  Stickenh 
made  universal  jubilee.  The  orderly 
of  scholastic  life  had  no  longer  plac< 
almost  ruined  Riprapton  in  clean  line 
fumes,  and  Windsor  soap.  Cards  and 
enlivened  every  evening;  and  the  gan 

-nIavAH  ^srora  fhnsu*  nf  tViA   faaViinn  nf  fVia  A 


RATTLIK,    THE    REEFEB.  265 

fection,  but  still  with  the  airs  of  a  patroness.  I 
do  not  know  that  the  handsome  schoolmistress 
lent  her  money,  for  I  do  not  thi)ik  that  she  stood 
in  need  of  it ;  but  I  feel  assured  that  her  whole 
property  was  at  her  disposaL  She  stood  in 
awe  of  her.     She  knew  her  secret 

With  hb  usual  acuteness,  my  good  old  friend 
discovered  this  inunediately,  and  he  began  to 
woo  her  also,  more  for  her  secret  than  for  her 
heart  But  she  was  a  perfect  mystery — I  never 
knew  till  her  death  who  she  was.  Her  residence 
was  at  no  time  mentioned,  and  I  believe  that  no 
one  knew  it  but  the  lady  of  the  house  and 
myself  when  Mrs.  Causand  herself  gave  it  me 
at  the  eve  of  my  departing  for  my  ship.  She 
came  without  notice,  staid  as  long  as  she  chose, 
and  departed  with  an  equal  disregard  to  cere- 
mony. 

She  loved  me  to  a  folly.  She  would  hold  me 
at  her  knees  by  the  hour,  and  scan  every  feature 
of  my  countenance,  as  Ophelia  said  of  Hamlet, 
<<  as  she  would  draw  it"  And  then  she  smiled 
and  looked  grave,  and  sighed  and  laughed ;  and 
I,  like  a  little  fool,  set  all  these  symptoms  of 

VOL.   I.  N 


^        r^K^  Aiivv.   ijiiii  : bO  11K(? 

<!<>  not  know  whether  I  ou^^ht  to  men! 
it  is  a  censorious  world  ;   hut,  as  I  eai 
into,  or  be  supposed  to  understand,  th 
of  a  fine  woman  of  thirty-five  caressin, 
fifteen,   I   have  a  right  to  suppose 
demonstrations  of  fondness  highly  virt 
purely  maternal ;  though,  perhaps,  to 
bestower  a  little  pleasant     I  found  1 
quisitely  so.     I  bore  all  her  little  bland 
with  a  modest  pleasure ;  for,  observing 
respect  in  which  she  was  generally  held, 
upon  these  testimonials  of  affection  as 
honour,  sought  them  with  eagerness, 
membered  them  with  gratitude. 

Manner  is  perhaps  more  seducing  tfc 
beauty ;  but  where  they  are  allied,  the 
tion   is    irreaifltiWp       ti»«4-   — ^j  - 


BATTLIK,  THE  REEFER*        267 

to  US  in  die  stage,  but  alwajrs  posted  it,  I  con- 
cluded that  she  was  in  very  easy  circumstances. 
I  cannot  speak  as  to  the  extent  of  her  mental 
powers,  as  her  surface  was  so   polished  and 
dazzling,  that  the  eye  neither  could  nor  wished 
to  look  more  deeply  into  her*     I  believe  that  she 
had  no  other  accomplishment  but  that  gorgeous 
doak  for  all  deficiency — an  inimitable  manner. 
Her  remarks  were  always  shrewd,  and  replete 
with  good  sense ;  her  language  was  choice ;  her 
style    of  conversation  varying,    sometimes  of 
that  joyous  nature  that  has  all  the  effect,  with- 
out the  pedantry  of  wit,  upon  the  hearer,  and, 
at  times,  she  could  be  really  quite  energetic. 
This  is,  after  all,  but  an  imperfect  description 
of  one  who  took  upon  herself  the  task  of  form- 
ing   my  address,  revising  my  gait   after  the 
dandng-master,  and   making  me  to  look  the 
gentleman. 

This  person  quite  destroyed  Riprapton^s 
equanimity.  During  her  three  or  four  first 
visits  he  was  all  hope  and  animation.  She  per- 
mitted him,  as  she  did  everybody  else,  as  &r 
as  words  were  concerned,  to  make  love  as  fiist 

N  2 


d 


iio|»v^    and    animation    gradually  gave 
incertitude  and  chagrin ;   and   then,  b 
natural  transition,  he  fell  into  envy  and 
Though  but  fiftecD,  I  was  certainly  ta] 
the  man  who  thought  he  honoured  me 
sidering  me  as  his  rival     Though  ai 
mained  in  this  unsatisfactory  state  as  f 
was  concerned,  for  certain  very  valid 
he  had  not  yet  chosen  to  vent  upon 
access  of  his  spleen.     But  this  procrafi 
of  actual    hostilities  was    terminated 
following  manner. 

Mrs.  Causand  and  I  were  staxiding,  < 
evening,  lovingly,  side-by-side,  in  the  si 
house  that  overhung  the  river  at  the  bo 
the  garden.  Mr.  Riprapton,  washed,  b 
and  perfumed — for  the  scholastic  duties 

dav    WAra    r\iTt%f 


.».-    -*■ 


RATTLIN,  THE  REBFKR.        269 

I  Stood  contemplating  the  tranquil  and  beauti* 
ful  scene,  trjring  to  see  as  little  of  the  person 
before  us  as  possible,  one  of  her  beautiful  arms 
hung  negligently  over  my  shoulder,  and  now 
she  would  draw  me  with  a  fond  pressure  to  her 
side,  and  now  her  exquisite  hand  would  dally 
with  the  ringlets  on  my  forehead,  and  then  its 
▼elvety  softness  would  crumple  up  and  indent 
my  blushing  cheek,  that  burned  certainly  more 
with  pleasure  than  with  bashfulness.  I  can- 
not say  that  the  usher  bore  all  this  very  stoic- 
ally, but  he  betrayed  his  annoyance  by  his 
countenance  only.  His  speech  was  as  bland  as 
ever.  His  trials  were  not  yet  over :  at  some 
very  silly  remark  of  mine  the  joyous  widow 
pressed  some  half  dozen  rapid  kisses  on  the 
cheek  that  was  glowing  so  near  her  own. 
Edther  this  act  emboldened  Riprapton,  or  he 
^egiously  mistook  her  character,  and  judged 
that  a  mere  voluptuary  stood  before  him,  for 
he  immediately  went  on  the  vacant  side  and 
endeavoured  to  possess  himself  of  her  hand* 

Face,  neck,  and  arms  flushed  up  in  one  in- 
dignant crimson  of  the  most  unsophisticated 


270        RATTLIM,  THE  BSSFEB. 

anger  I  ever  behekL  She  threw  herself  back 
with  a  perceptible  shudder,  as  if  she  had  oome 
unexpectedly  in  contact  with  something  cold,  or 
dead,  or  unnaturaL 

^  Mr.  Biprapton,''  she  exdaimed,  after  a 
siwce  of  real  emotion,  ^  I  never  yet  boxed  the 
ears  of  a  gentleman :  but  had  you  been  one^ 
I  should  most  assuredly  have  so  fur  fiyrgotten 
my  feminine  dignity,  as  to  have  expressed  my 
deep  resentment  by  a  bbw.  I  cannot  touch 
anything  so  mean.  While  you  confined  your 
persecution  to  words,  I  bore  "with  it.  Sir,  I 
only  speak  from  my  own  sensations ;  but,  judg- 
ing by  these,  any  female  who  could  abide  your 
touch  without  repugnance,  must  have  long  lost 
all  womanly  feelings  ;  and  now  that  we  are 
upon  this  subject,  let  me  give  you  a  little 
friendly  advice.  When  you  are  permitted  to 
sit  at  the  same  table  with  ladies,  and  wish  by 
the  means  of  your  feet  to  establish  a  secret 
intercourse  with  any  one,  take  care,  in  future, 
that  you  do  not  use  the  wooden  leg.  Females 
may  be  more  tender  in  the  toes  than  in  their 
hearts.     You  may  go,  sir;  and  remember,  if 


BATTLIN,  THE  RCKFSB*       271 

you  wbh  to  preserve  your  station  in  this  house 
— ^know  it  When  you  behave  as  a  gentleman^ 
that  title  may  be  conceded  to  you:  but  the 
moment  your  conduct  is  inconsistent  with  that 
character,  those  around  you  will  not  forget 
that  you  are  no  more  than  a  hired  servant,  and 
but  one  degree  above  a  menial  Here,  Ralph,"" 
she  continued,  giving  me  the  violated  hand, 
^cleanse  it  from  that  fellow's  profanation."  I 
brought  it  to  my  mouth  very  gallantiy,  and 
covered  it  with  kisses. 

For  the  first-time,  I  saw  my  usher-friend  not 
only  confounded,  but  dumb  with  consternation, 
and  his  whitened  face  became  purple  even  into 
the  depths  of  his  deep  pock-marks,  with  an 
emotion  that  no  courtesy  could  characterise  as 
amiable.  He  moved  off  with  none  of  his  usual 
grace;  but  retired  like  a  very  common  place, 
wooden-legged  man;  in  a  truly  miserable  dot- 
and-go-one  style.  What  Mrs.  Causand  and  I 
said  to  each  other  on  the  subject,  when  she 
went  and  seated  herself  in  the  summer-house 
to  recover  from  her  excitement,  would,  I  am 
sure^  have  formed  the  ground-work  and  argu- 


I 


'M 


272        EATTLIK,  THE  REEFEB. 

ments  of  twelve  good  moral  essays;  but  un- 
fortunately I  have  forgotten  everything  about 
it,  except  that  we  staid  there  till  not  only  the 
dews  had  fallen  upon  the  flowers,  but  the  shades 
of  evening  upon  the  dews. 

As  my  stay  at  school  was  to  be  so  short,  I 
was  treated  more  as  a  familiar  friend  by  all 
than  as  a  pupil  I  staid  up  with  the  family  and 
took  tea  and  supper  with  them.  Rip  made  no 
appearance  the  evening  after  his  lecture,  but 
retired  to  his  chamber  much  indisposed.  While 
Mrs.  Causand  was  on  her  visits  I  always  break- 
fasted with  a  her  tete-a-tete  in  the  little  parlour, 
whose  French  windows  opened  upon  the  garden, 
and  it  was  on  those  occasions  that  I  found  her 
most  amusing.  She  knew  every  one  and  every 
thing  connected  with  fashionable  life.  Private 
and  piquant,  and  I  am  sure  authentic,  anecdotes 
of  every  noble  family,  she  possessed  in  an  ex- 
haustless  profusion.  Nor  was  this  knowledge 
confined  to  the  nobility :  she  knew  more  of  the 
sayings  and  doings  of  some  of  the  princes  of 
the  blood,  than  any  other  person  living,  out 
of  their  domestic  circle,  and  she  knew  many 


<i^Kfi^mi^0m0ymmm0i^i^^ 


RATTLIK9    THE    REEFEIU  273 

things  with  which  that  circle  were  never  ac- 
quainted* I  am  sure  she  could  have  made 
splendid  fortunes  for  twelve  foshionable  novel- 
writers. 

I  have,  at  times,  endeavoured  to  recollect 
some  of  her  morceaux;  but  though  I  have 
succeeded,  it  has  been  so  imperfectly,  that  I 
do  not  feel  authorized  in  making  them  public 
In  the  proper  place  I  may  be  tempted  to  violate 
this  secresy  as  respects  his  late  Majesty,  the 
more  especially,  as  in  the  singular  transaction 
to  which  I  allude,  his  character  came  ofl; 
through  a  fiery  proof  of  no  common  temptations, 
and  through  circumstances  of  extreme  hazard 
and  difficulty,  resplendently  as  a  man  of  honour 
and  as  a  gentleman.  Obloquy  enough  has 
been  flung  at  that  which  rather  deserved  pane- 
gyric ;  but  it  is  a  too  common  feeling  to  endea- 
vour to  daub  over  that  lustre  with  mud,  that 
the  rampant  cannot  emulate. 

I  bad  breakfasted  with  Mrs.  Causand  the 
morning  after  Rip*s  discomfiture,  and  then 
went  to  prosecute  my  studies  in  the  school-room. 
This  was  the  first  time  that  my  tutor  and  I 

n5 


i 


ima3cu   iiie  assistant  who  assisted  me 
I   frave  him  mv  usual  smile  of  "^reetini]^ 
counteuauce,     instead    of    the    good-h 
return,  was  black  as  evil  passions  cou 
it.    However,   I   paid    but  little  atte 
this  unfriendly  demonstration,  and  tal 
seat,  began,  as  I  was  long  privileged  t 
converse  with  my  neighbour. 

^<  Silence !"  vociferated  the  man  in  ai 
I  conversed  on.     "  Silence  I  I  say.*' 

Not  supposing  that  I  was  included 
authoritative  demand,  or  not  caring  if 
I  felt  no  inclination  to  suspend  the  exei 
my  conversational  powers.  After  the 
order  for  silence,  this  sudden  disciple  of 
crates  left  his  seat,  cane  in  hand,  and 
behind  me,  I  dreaming  of  no  such  tem< 


BATTLIN,  THE  RESFER.       275 

almost  an  officer  on  the  quarter-deck  of  one  of 
bis  Majesty's  frigates  I  However,  without 
taking  time  to  weigh  exactly  my  own  dignity, 
I  seized  a  large  slate,  and  turning  sharply 
round,  sent  it  hissing  into  his  very  teeth. 
I  wish  I  had  knocked  one  or  two  of  them 
out  I  wished  it  then  fervently,  and  of  that 
wish,  wicked  though  it  be,  I  have  never 
repented.  He  was  for  some  time  occupied  with 
holding  his  hand  to  his  mouth,  and  in  a  rapid 
and  agonizing  examination  of  the  extent  of  the 
damage.  When  he  could  spare  an  instant  for 
me,  he  was  as  little  satisfied  with  the  expression 
of  my  features,  as  with  the*  alteration  in  his, 
so  he  hopped  down  to  Mr.  Cherfeuil,  while  the 
blood  was  streaming  between  his  fingers,  to  lay 
his  complaint  in  form  against  me.  I  had  two 
sure  advocates  below,  so  he  took  nothing  by  his 
motion,  but  a  lotion  to  wash  his  mouth  with ; 
and  after  staymg  below  for  a  couple  of  hours, 
he  came  up  with  a  swelled  face,  but  his  teeth 
all  perfect 

That  morning  Mr.  Cherfeuil,  in  very  excel- 
lent bad    English,  made    a    most    impressive 


278        KATTLIN,  THE  HKEPBS. 

Speech ;  the  pith  of  it  was,  that,  had  I  not  taken 
the  law  into  my  own  hands,  he  would  most  cer- 
tunly  have  discharged  Mr.  Riprapton,  for 
having  exceeded  his  authority  in  striking  me ! 
but  as  my  conduct  had  heen  very  unjustifiably 
I  was  sentenced  to  transcribe  the  whole  of  the 
first  book  of  the  ^neid.  Before  dinner  my 
school-fellows  had  begged  off  one  half  of  the 
task— Mrs.  Cberfeiul  at  dinner  begged  off  one 
half  of  that  half;  when  things  bad  gone  thus 
fiu",  Mrs.  Causand  interfered,  and  argued  for  a 
commutation  of  punishment;  the  more  espe- 
dally,  as  she  thought  an  example  ought  to  be 
made  for  so  heinous  an  offence.  As  she  spake 
with  a  very  serious  air,  the  good-natured 
Frenchman  acquiesced  in  her  wbhca,  and 
pledged  himself  to  allow  her  to  infiict  the 
penalty,  which  she  promulgated  to  the  following 
effect :  "  That  I  should  be  forced  to  swallow  an 
extra  bumper  of  port  for  not  having  knocked 
out,  at  least,  one  of  the  wretcVs  teeth,"  and  she 
then  related  enough  of  his  conduct  to  bring  Mr. 
Cberfeuil  into  her  way  of  thinking  upon  the 
subject. 


mm'^<»t'*m 


'*<v^~ 


BATTLIKy  THE  HEEFBR. 


277 


CHAPTER  XXVI. 

A  reconciliation — a  walk  planned^  and  a  man  planted 
— The  latter  found  to  grow  impatient— 'Ralph  at 
length  rigged  out  as  a  reefer. 


For  two  days  Mr.  Rip  and  myself  were  not 
upon  speaking  terms.  On  the  third  day  a 
Master  Barnard  brings  me  up  a  slate  full  of 
plusses,  minusses,  cv,  y,  st^Sj  and  other  letters 
of  the  alphabet,  in  a  most  amiable  algebraical 
confusion. 

«  Take  it  to  Mr.  Riprapton,''  said  I.  The 
lad  took  it,  and  the  mathematical  master  looked 
over  it  with  a  perplexed  gravity,  truly  edifying. 
"  Take  it  to  Master  Rattlin— I  have  no  time," 
was  the  result  of  his  cogitations. 


.  *ivj   u5e;    ne  don't    know 

about  it/* 

''  Take  it  tlien  to  Mr.  Cherfeuil,  and 


so." 


This  advice  was  overheard  by  the  pai 
concerned,  and  he  caUed  the  boy  to  h 
shortly  returned  to    me  with  a  note, 
friendship,   apology,  and  sorrow;  endii 
an  earnest  request  that  I  would  again  ] 
right  with  Mrs.  Causand,  as  well  as  the  t 
the  slate.     I   replied,  for   I  was  still  i 
angry,  that  he  was  very  ungrateful,  bu 
as  we  were  so  soon  to  part,  perhaps  for 
accepted  the  reconciliation.      So  far  wa 
I  told  Mrs.  Causand  what   had  passes 
then  interceded  with  her  for  her  for^n 
for  her  anger  debarred  him  from  many  coi 
as  it  obliired  bim  «■**  *-'--'  *-- 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.       279 

natural  good  tamper,  and  blandness  of  manner, 
soon  put  turn  again  at  his  ease,  and  bis  love- 
speeches  flowed  as  fluently  as  ever. 

We  proposed  a  walk,  and,  accompanied  by 
some  half  dozen  of  the  elder  boys,  we  began  to 
stroll  upon  the  common.  By  some  gaticherie 
the  conversation  took  a  disagreeable  turn  on 
our  late  misunderstanding,  and  I  could  not  help 
repeating  what  I  had  said  in  my  note,  that  Mr. 
Rip  had  proved  himself  ungrateful,  considering 
the  many  difficulties  from  which  I  had  extricated 
him.  At  this  last  assertion  before  the  lady,  he 
took  fire,  and  flatly  denied  it  I  was  too  proud 
to  enumerate  the  many  instances  of  scholastic 
assistance  that  he  bad  received  at  my  hands,  so 
I  became  sullen  and  silent,  my  opponent  in  an 
equal  degree  brisk  and  loquacious.  My  fair 
companion  rather  enjoyed  the  encounter,  and 
began  to  rally  me. 

"  Come,  come,"  said  I,  "  Fll  lay  him  a  crown 
that  he  will  beg  me  to  extricate  him  from  some 
difficulty  before  the  week's  over." 

The  wager  was  accepted  with  alacrity,  and 
Mrs.  Causand  begged  to  lay  an  equal  stake 


^  „^LK.  itiiiiv  111  me  hollow  made 

surroundino^  hills,  I  exclaimed,    "  Rip,   if 
ijive    me  five-aud-tweiity    yards,     I'll    rui 
three  bops  and  a  step  a  hundred  .yards  f 
other  crown,*' 

^  Done,  done  l^  exclaimed  the  usher,  joy 
chucklmg  with  the  idea  of  exhibiting  so  t 
phantly  his  prowess  before  the  blooming  w 
The  ground  was  duly   stepped,  and  the 
fixed,  whilst  my  antagonist,  all  animation 
spiritss  was  pouring  his  liqiud  nonsense 
the  lady*8  ear.     I  took  care  that,  in  about 
middle  of  the  distance,  our  race-ground  sb 
pass  over  where  some  rushes  were  grov 
Now  Riprapton  had  a  most  uncommon  spec 
this  manner  of  progressing.     He  would, 
his  leg  of  flesh,  take  three  tremendous  h 
and  thftn  nft^rx  Ar^^^  .^^\.  i  •    ^ 


RATTLIK,  THE  REEFER.        281 

'started,  I  taking,  of  course,  my  twenty-five 
ydStds  in  advance.  The  exhibition  and  the  gait 
were  so  singular,  that  Mrs.  Causand  could 
scarcely  stand  for  laughter,  whilst  the  boys 
shouted,  «  Go  it,  Ralph  P—  «  Well  done,  peg !" 
— **  Dot-and-go-one  will  beat  him." 

In  the  midst  of  these  exhilarating  cries,  what 
I  had  calculated  upon  happened.  Rip,  before 
we  had  gone  half  the  distance,  was  close  behind 
me ;  but  lo  1  after  three  of  his  ^gantic  hops, 
that  seemed  to  be  performed  with  at  least  one 
seven-leagued  boot  turned  into  a  slipper,  he 
came  down  heavily  upon  his  step  with  his  wood 
among  the  rushes.  The  stiff  clay  there  being 
full  of  mobture  and  unsound,  he  plunged  up 
to  his  hip  nearly,  in  the  adhesive  soil,  and  there 
he  remained,  as  much  a  fixture,  and  equally 
astonished,  as  Lot* s  wife.  First  of  all,  taking 
care  to  go  the  distance,  and  thus  win  the 
wager,  we  all,  frantic  with  laughter,  gathered 
round  the  man  thus  firmly  attached  to  his 
mother  earth*  Whilst  the  tears  ran  down  Mrs. 
Causand'^s  cheeks,  and  proved  that  her  radiant 
colour  was  quite  natiu^   she  endeavoured  to 


I"*— .  ■» 


282        RATTLIN,  THE  BEEFEB. 

assume  an  air  of  the  deepest  commiseration, 
which  wa8  interrupted,  every  moment,  by  invo- 
luntary bursts  of  laughter.  For  Umsel^  no 
wretch  in  the  pillory,  ever  wore  a  more  lugu- 
brious aspect,  and  his  sallow  visage  turned  first 
to  one,  and  then  to  another,  with  a  look  so 
ridiculously  imploring  that  it  was  irresistible. 

"  I  am  sorry,  very  sorry,**  said  the  lady,  "  to 
see  you  look  so  pale — I  may  say,  so  livid — but, 
poor  man,  it  is  but  natural,  semg  already  that 
you  have  one  foot  in  the  grave** 

The  mender  of  pens  groaned  in  the  spirit 

"  I  say,''  said  the  schoolboy  wag  of  the  party, 
applying  an  old  Joe  Miller  to  the  occasion, 
^^  why  is  Mr.  Riprapton  like  pens,  ink,  and 
paper  ?' 

"  Because  he  is  stationary,"  vociferated  five 
eager  voices  at  once  in  reply. 

The  caster^up  of  sums  cast  a  look  at  the 
delinquent,  the  tottle  of  the  whole  of  which  was, 
"  you  sha'n't  be  long  on  the  debit  side  of  our 
account" 

"  But  what  is  to  be  done?'  was  now  the 
question. 


RATTMN,    THE    BEEFER.  283 

^  I  am  afraid,''  said  I,  ^^  we  must  dig  him 
up  like  a  dead  tree,  or  an  old  post" 

^  It  is,  I  believe,  the  only  way,"  said  the 
tutor  despondingly  ;  '<  I  was  relieved  once  that 
way  before  in  the  bog  of  Ballynawashy.*^ 

^  O,  then  jrou  are  from  Ireland  after  all,^' 
said  the  lady. 

^  Only  on  a  visit,  madam  T'  said  the  baited 
fixture,  with  much  asperity. 

<<  But  really,'**  said  she,  ^^  if  I  may  judge 
from  the  present  occasion,  you  must  have  made 
a  long  siayJ*^ 

^^  I  hope  he  won't  take  cold  in  his  feet,"  said 
a  very  silly,  blubber-lipped  boy. 

I£s  instructor  looked  hot  with  passion. 

**  But  really,  now  I  think  of  it,"  chimed  in 
the  now  enraptured  widow,  **  a  very  serious 
alarm  has  seized  me.  Suppose  that  the  piece 
of  wood,  so  nicely  planted  in  this  damp  clay, 
were  to  take  root  and  throw  out  fibres.  Gra- 
cious me  I  only  suppose  that  you  should  begin 
to  vegetate.  I  do  declare  that  you  look  quite 
green  about  the  eyes  already  !" 

"  Mercy  me !''  whispered  the  wag,  "  if  he 


284        RATTLIN,  THE  EEEFER. 

should  grow  up,  be^ll  certainly  turn  to  a  plane 
tree;  for  really,  he  is  a  very  plain  man." 

The  wielder  of  the  ruler  gave  a  tremendous 
wriggle  with  the  whole  body,  which  proved  as 
ineffectual  as  it  was  violent 

**  But  don't  you  think,  Ralph,"  said  his  tor- 
mentor, ^^  as  the  evening  is  drawing  in,  that 
something  should  be  done  for  the  poor  gentle- 
man ;  he  will  most  certainly  take  cold  if  he  re- 
main here  all  night;  couldn't  you  and  your 
schoolfellows  contrive  to  build  a  sort  of  hut 
over  him?  I  am  sure  I  should  be  very  happy 
to  help  to  carry  the  boughs — if  the  man  won**! 
go  to  the  house  the  house  must  go  to  the  man.'* 

<<  What  a  fine  cock-shy  he  would  make !" 
said  Master  Blubberlips. 

<<  O,  I  should  so  like  to  see  it,*'  said  the  lady. 
*^  It  will  be  the  first  time  he  has  been  made  shy 
in  his  life." 

He  was  certainly  like  an  Indian  bound  to 
the  stake,  and  made  to  suffer  mental  torture — 
but  he  did  not  bear  it  with  an  Indian's  equani- 
mity. As  a  few  stragglers  had  been  drawn  to 
the  funny  scene,  and  more  might  be  expected, 


^ 


BATTLIN,  THE  B£KF£B.        285 

I,  and  I  only,  of  all  the  spectators,  began  to 
fieel  some  pity  for  him ;  the  more  especially,  as 
I  heard  a  stout,  grinning  chaw-bacon  say  to  the 
baker^s  boy  of  the  village,  who  asked  him  what 
was  the  matter,  <*  Whoy,  Jim,  it  ben't  nothink 
less  than  Frenchman''s  usherman  ha  drawn  all 
Thickenham  common  on  Iiis'n  roight  leg  for  a 
stocking  loike." 

**  Come,*'  thought  I,  "  it's  quite  time,  after 
tfaat^  for  the  honour  of  the  academy,  to  beat  a 
retreat,  or  we  shall  be  beaten  hollow  by  this 
heavy-shod  dodpole.  Mr.  Riprapton,"  said  I, 
•*  I  don't  bear  you  any  malice — but  I  recollect 
my  wager.  If  I  extricate  you  out  of  the  diffi« 
culty,  will  you  own  that  I  have  won  it?" 

"  Gladly,*^  said  he,  very  sorrowfully. 

*<  Come  here,  my  lads,  out  knives  and  cut 
away  the  tur£''  We  soon  removed  the  earth 
as  fiu:  down  as  to  where  the  bole  of  the  wooden 
leg  joined  to  the  shank.  ^^  Now,  my  lads,'' 
said  If  "  we  must  unscrew  him."  Round  and 
round  we  twirled  him,  his  outstretched  living 
1^  forming  as  pretty  a  fair}'-ring  on  the  green 
sod,  with  its  circumgyrations,  as  can  be  imap 


266        RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

gined  At  last,  after  baviDg  had  a  very  tole- 
rable foretaste  of  the  pillory,  we  Surly  un- 
screwed him,  and  he  was  once  more  disengaged 
from  his  partial  burial-place.  I  certainly  can- 
not say  that  he  received  our  congratulations 
with  the  grace  of  a  Chesterfield,  but  he  begged 
us  to  continue  our  exertions  to  recover  for  him 
his  shank,  or  otherwise  he  would  have  to  fol- 
low Petruchio's  orders  to  the  tailor — to  **  hop 
me  over  every  kennel  home.''  For  the  sake  of 
the  quotation,  we  agreed  to  assist,  and,  as  many 
of  us  catching  hold  of  it  as  could  find  a  grip, 
we  tugged,  and  tugged,  and  tugged  Still  the 
stiff  clay  did  not  seem  at  all  inclined  to  relin- 
quish the  prize  it  had  so  fairly  won.  At  length, 
by  one  tremendous  and  simultaneous  effort,  we 
plucked  it  forth ;  but,  in  doing  so,  those  who 
retained  the  trophy  in  their  hands  were  flung 
flat  on  their  backs,  whilst  the  newly-gained  1^ 
pointed  upwards  to  the  zenith.  Having  first 
wiped  a  Uttle  of  the  deep  yellow  adhesion  away 
from  it,  we  joined  the  various  parts  of  the  man 
together;  and,  he  taking  singular  care  to  avoid 
those  spots  were  rushes  grew,  we  all  reached 


RATTLIN,    THE    REE  FEB.  287 

our  home,  with  one  exception,  in  the  highest 
glee — as  to  the  two  wagers,  he  behaved  like  a 
g^tleman,  and  acknowledged  the  debt — which 
was  a  great  deal  more  than  I  ever  expected. 

After  having  worked  some  fifty  problems  out 
of  Hamilton   Moore,  of  blessed  memory,   and 
having  drawn  an  infinity  of  triangles  with  all 
possible  degrees  of  incidence,  with  very  neat 
little  ships,  now  upon  the  base,  now  upon  the 
hypothenuse,  and  now  upon  the  perpendicular, 
my  erudite  usher  pronounced  me  to  be  a  per- 
fect master  of  the  noble  science  of  navigation  in 
all  its  branches,  for  the  which  he  glorified  him- 
self  exceedingly.     As  I  had  made  many  firiends 
there  was  no  difficulty  in  procuring  for  me  a 
ship,  and  I  was  to  have  joined,  the  Sappho,  a 
first  class  brig  of  war,  as  soon  as  she  arrived, 
and    she  was    expected    almost   immediately. 
However,  as  at  that  particular  time  we  were 
relieving  the  Danes  from  the  onerous  care  of 
their  navy,  the  sloop  was  sent  as  soon  as  she 
arrived  to  assist  in  the  amiable  action.     I  was 
much  grieved  at  this  disappointment,  as  the 
Sappho  was  commanded  by  the  son  of  that 


i 


^5. 


288       BATTLIN,  THE  BEEFEB. 

dignified  divine  who  took  so  much  interest  in 
my  welfare. 

Having   many    who    interested    themselves 
about  me,  some  apparent  and  others  hidden,  a 
ship  was  soon  found  for  me,  but  by  what  chain 
of  recommendation,  I  never  could  unraveL    As 
£Bur  as  the  ship  was  concerned,  I  certainly  had 
nothing  to  complain  of.     She  was  a  fine  firigate, 
and  every  way  worthy  to  career  over  the  ocean, 
that  was,  at  that  time,  almost  completely  an 
English    dominion.      The    usual    quantity    of 
hopes  and  wishes  were  expressed,  and  my  final 
leave  was  taken  of  all  my  village  firiends.     Mr. 
R.  enjoining  me  to  correspond  with  him  on  every 
opportunity,  gave  me  his  blessing,  and  some 
urgent  advice  to  eschew  poetry,  and  prophesied 
that  he  should  live  to  see  me  posted.     There 
was  nothing  outwardly  very  remarkable  in  the 
manner  of  Mrs.  Cherfeuil  on  the  eve  of  my  de- 
parture.   I  went  to  bed  a  school-boy  and  was 
to  rise  next  morning  an  officer — that  is  to  say, 
I  was  to  mount  my  uniform  for  the  first  time. 
I  believe   that   I   was   already  on    the  ship's 
books ;  for  at  the  time  of  which  I  am  writings 


RATTUK,    THE    HERFER. 


289 


the  clerk  of  the  cheque  was  not  so  very  frequent 
in  his  visits,  and  so  particular  when  he  visited,  as 
he  is  at  present  Notwithstanding  the  import- 
ant change  that  was  about  to  take  place  in  every- 
thing connected  with  mjrsel^  I  did  sleep  that 
night,  though  I  often  awoke, — there  was  a 
female  hovering  round  my  bed  almost  the  whole 
of  the  night 


vol .  I. 


o 


290 


BATTLIN,    THE    RBSFEB. 


CHAPTER  XXVIL 

Ralph  commences  his  public  career  by  accepting  an 
I.  O.  U.^  he  hardly  knows  why — He  finds  his  future 
Captain  based  on  a  bottle — He  is  not  taken  by  the 
hand. 


So  ignorant  were  those  few,  on  whom  devolyed 
my  fitting  out,  of  what  my  station  required, 
that  I  had  made  for  me  three  suits  of  uniform, 
all  of  which  had  the  lion  upon  the  buttons  in- 
stead of  the  anchor,  and  from  which  the  weekly 
account  was  absent  My  transmissicm  from 
school  to  town  was  by  the  stage ;  at  town  I  was 
told  to  call  on  a  lawyer  in  the  KingVbench 
Walk,  in  the  Temple,  who  furnished  me  with 
twenty  pounds,  and  a  letter  for  my  future  cup- 


EATTLIN,  THE  BEEFEB.       291 

tauii  telling  me  I  might  draw  upon  him  for  a 
yearly  sum,  which  was  more  than  double  the 
amount  I  ought  to  have  been  entrusted  with ; 
then  coldly  wishing  me  success,  he  recommended 
me  to  go  down  that  evening  by  the  mail,  and 
join  my  ship  immediately,  and  wished  me  a 
good  morning. 

I  certainly  was  a  little  «istonished  at  my  sudr 
den  isolation  in  the  midst  of  a  vast  city.  I  felt 
that,  from  that  moment,  I  must  commence  man. 
I  knew  several  persons  in  London,  parents  of 
my  school-fellows,  but  I  was  too  proud  to 
parade  my  pride  before  them,  for  I  felt,  at  the 
same  time,  ashamed  of  wearing  ostentatiously, 
Wfiibt  I  gloried  in,  my  uniform. 
'"1  dined  at  the  inn  where  I  alighted  on  coming 
'tfS^  town,  called  for  what  I  wanted  in  a  humble 
ien^^one,  said  <<If  you  please,  mti"  to  the 
'wliitiBr,  paid  my  bill  without  giving  him  a  gra- 
tuity, for  fear  of  giving  him  offence,  took  my 
"plaoe  in  the  mail,  and  got  down  without  acei- 
iieM  to  Chatham,  and  slept  at  the  house  where 
ttM'  eoidbr -stopped.  On  account  of  my  hybrid 
ttnyfoilto' skid  my  asserting  myself  of  tine  navy, 

o  2 


i 


292        EATTLIX,  THE  BEEFKB. 

the  people  of  the  establishment  knew  not  what 
to  make  of  me.  I  wished  to  deliver  my  cre- 
dentials immediately ;  but  my  considerate  land- 
lord advised  me  to  take  time  to  think  about  it 
—and  dinner.     I  followed  his  advice. 

It  is  uncertain  how  long  I  should  have  re- 
mained in  this  uncertainty,  had  not  a  brother 
midshipman,  in  the  coffee-room,  accosted  me» 
and  kindly  helped  me  out  with  my  pint  of  port, 
which  I  thought  I  showed  my  manliness  in 
calling -for.  He  did  not  roast  me  very  unmer- 
cifully, but  what  he  spared  in  gibes  he  made 
up  in  drinking.  I  abstained  with  a  great  deal 
of  firmness  from  following  his  example;  he 
warmly  praised  my  abstinence,  I  suppose  with 
much  sincerity,  as  it  certainly  appeared  to  be  a 
virtue  which  he  was  incapable  of  practising. 
About  seven  o'clock  my  ready-made  firiend 
began  to  be  more  minute  in  his  inquiries.  I 
showed  him  my  introductory  letter,  and  he  told 
nie  directly  at  what  hotel  the  captain  was  esta- 
blished, and  enforced  upon  me  the  necessity  of 
immediately  waiting  upon  him;  telling  me  I 
might  think  myself  extremely  lucky  in  having 


EATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.         293 

bad  to  entertain  only  one  officer,  when  so  many 
thirsty  and  penniless  ones  were  cruizing  about 
to  sponge  upon  the  Johnny  Raws.  For  himself 
he  said,  he  was  a  man  of  honour,  quite  a  gen- 
tleman, and  insisted  upon  paying  his  share  of 
the  two  bottles  of  port  consumed,  of  which  I 
certainly  had  not  drunk  more  than  four  glasses. 
Secretly  praising  my  man  of  honour  for  his 
disinterestedness,  for  I  had  asked  him  to  take  a 
glass  of  wine,  which  he  had  read  as  a  couple  of 
bottles,  I  ordered  my  bill,  among  the  items  of 
which  stood  conspicuously  forth,  "two  bottles 
of  old  crusted  port,  fourteen  shillings.'^ 

«  D d  imposition  T*  said  my  hitherto  ano- 

i^ymous  friend.  "Of  all  vices,  I  abominate 
imposition  the  most  I  shall  pay  for  all  this 
wine  mysell  Here,  wai-terre,  pen  and  ink. 
Banking  hours  are  over  now;  I  have  nothing 
but  a  fifty-pound  bill  about  me.  However,  you 
shall  have  my  L  O.  U.  You  see  that  I  have 
m^ide  it  out  for  one  pound — you'^U  just  hand 
me  the  difference,  six  shillings.  Your  name,  I 
think  you  said,  was  Rattlin — Ralph  Rattlin.  A 
good  name,  a  very  good  purser's  name  indeed 


i 


:..  *. 


294  RATTLIN)    THE    BUEYISM^' 

There^  Mr^iHattibby  ycm  h»«  ei%  io  pfesent- 
that  pieoet  of  {>apelr  wfacn  you  g«t  on  ixwrd  to< 
the  head  swab#a8h0r5  4iDd'  he'll  ghre  yoa  eiAcv- 
cash  &>r  iV^or.stoiMu^ 

I  gave  the'  gmdeman  who  eo  much  aUionred 
imposition,  dii^  flhiUings  in  return  for  iia  paper, 
which  oontaiQed  theaie  woifds I'f^h  O.  U.  twenty^ 
riuUings.  Jofiilth  Gheeke,  MajoMSeii^al  of  the 
HoTse^Marineey  of  -  his  Majesty's  Ship,  the 
Merry  Dun,  of  Dover.— To  Mr«  Ralph  Rat*; 
tlin." 

I  carefully  placed  tibis  prectons  docomentin 
my  pocket-book,  among  my  ott^pound  notes,  at* 
that  time  the  principal  currency  of  the  ooimtry^ 
yet  could  not  help  thinking  that  my  friend  easi 
an  awfully  hungry  eye  at  the  pieces  of  papec« 
He  had  already  commenced  a  very  elaborate 
speech  pra&tory  to  the  request  of  a  loan,  when 
I  cut  him  short,  by  telling  him  that  I  had  pr^^ 
mised  my  godmamma  not  to  lend  any  one  a  sin-* 
gle  penny  until  I  had  been  on  board  my  diip  six 
months,  which  was  really  the  case.  He  com* 
mended  my  sense  of  duty,  and  said  it  was  of  mo 
manner  of  consequence,  as  next  morning  bf 


RATTLIN,   THX   ABRTXJU    '  ^5 

ahiHdd  be  in  posseesion  of  more  than  he  should 
hsve  occasion  for,  and  then  a  five  or  a  ten  pound 
note  woold  be  at  my  service.  After  Tainly  en-^ 
deavonring  to  seduce  me  to  the  theatre,  he  made 
a  nriae  Df  my  obstinacy,  and  taking  me  by  die 
arm,  riiowed  me  to  die  door  of  the  hotel,  ^riiere 
Captain  Reud  of  H.  M.  S.  Eos  was  located. 

I  was  announced,  and  immediately  ushered 
into  a  room,  where  I  saw  a  sallow-risaged^  eom^ 
poct^  wellHDade  little  man,  apparendy  not  older 
dian  two  or  three-and'»twenty,  sitting  in  the 
middle  of  die  room,  upon  a  Uack  quart  bottle, 
die  neck  of  whidi  was  on  die  floor,  and  the 
bottom  forming  the  uneasy  and  unstable  seat 
Without  pejring  much  attention  to  me,  every 
now  and  then  he  would  give  himself  an  impetus, 
and  flinging  out  his  arms,  spin  round  Hke  a 
torsstile.  It  certainly  was  very  amusing,  and, 
notfeubt,  so  thought  his  companion,  a  fine,  man- 
ly^ handsome-looking  fellow,  of  diirty-five  or 
tfairty-^igfat,  by  his  long-continued  and  vocife- 
rooa  applause.  The  litde  spinner  was  habited 
in  a  plain  but  handsome  uniform,  widi  one  gold 
epaulet  on  his  right  shoulder,  whilst  the  de- 


i 


Ci« 


296        KATTLIN^  THE  HEEFES. 

lighted  approver  had  a  coat  splendid  ivith  broad 
white  casimere  facings. 

I  could  observe  that  both  parties  were  deeply 
immersed  in  the  many-coloured  delirium  of 
much  drink.  I  looked  first  at  one,  then  at  the 
other,  undecided  as  to  which  of  the  two  was 
my  captain.  However,  I  could  not  augur  ill  of 
one  who  laughed  so  heartily,  nor  of  the  other, 
who  seemed  so  happy  in  making  himself  a  tee- 
totum. Taking  advantage  of  a  pause  in  this 
singular  exhibition,  I  delivered  my  credentials 
to  the  former  and  more  imposing-looking  of 
the  two,  who  immediately  handed  them  over  to 
Captain  Reud.  I  was  graciously  received,  a 
few  questions  of  courtesy  asked,  and  a  glass  of 
wine  poured  out  for  me. 

My  presence  was  soon  totally  disregarded, 
and  my  captain  and  his  first  Ueutenant  began 
(conversing  on  all  manner  of  subjects,  in  a  jargon 
to  me  entirely  incomprehensible.  The  de- 
canter flew  across  and  across  the  table  with 
wonderful  rapidity,  and  the  flow  of  assertion 
increased  with  the  captain,  and  that  of  asaenta- 
tion  with  his  lieutenant     At  length,  the  little 


RATTLIN,  THE  KEEKER.        297 

man  with  the  epaulet  commenced  a  very  prurient 
tale.  Mr.  Farmer  cast  a  look  Ml  of  meaning 
upon  myself  when  Captain  Read  addressed  me 
thus,  in  a  sharp,  shrill  tone,  that  I  thought  im- 
possible to  a  person  who  told  such  pleasant 
stories,  and  who  could  spin  so  prettily  upon  a 
quart  bottle.  *^Do  you  hear,  younker,  you'^ll 
ship  your  traps  in  a  wherry  the  first  thing  to- 
morrow morning,  and  get  on  board  eariy 
enough  to  be  victualled  that  day.  Tell  the 
commanding  officer  to  order  the  ship's  tailor  to 
clap  the  curse  of  God  upon  you — (I  started 
with  horror  at  the  impiety) — to  unship  those 
poodles  from  your  jacket,  and  rig  you  out  with 
the  foul  anchor/' 

"  Yes,  sir,"  said  I ;  "  but  I  hope  the  tailor 
won't  be  so  wicked,  because  I  am  sure  I  wish 
the  gentleman  no  harm." 

^  Piously  brought  up,"  said  the  captain* 

^  We'll  teach  him  to  look  aloft,  any  how," 
said  the  lieutenant,  striving  to  be  originaL 

^'A  well-built  young  dog,"  sud  the  former, 
lookuag  at  me  approvingly. 


298        RATTLIN,  THE  ABBFER. 

^  Who  is  he^may  I  ask?"  said  tbe  laltery  in 
a  most  sonorous  aside. 

*«  Mum,''  '■  said  Captaio  Reud^  putting  his 
finger  to  bis  nose,  and  endeavouring  to  look 
very  mystoious,  and  full  of  impcNrtant  meanipg; 
^  but  when  I  get  hibn  in  blue  watw^-if  he  were 
the  king's 80ii--*heb  I  Farmer?' 

^^To  be  mure.  ^  Then  he  isihe  son  of>  some^ 
body,  sir?'' 

^  More  likely  the  son  of  nobody— i«ccordiiig 
to  the  law  of  the  land,-*whoever  launched  hzm : 
but  I'll  never  breathe  a  word,  or  give  so  much 
as  a  hint  that  he  is  illegitimate.  I  scorn,  like 
a  British  sailor,  to  do  that  by  a  ^de^wnd. 
Farmer,  that  I  ought  not  to  do  openly;  but 
there  are  two  sides  to  a  blanket  A  Popish 
priest  must  not  marry  in  England.  Norman 
Will  was  not  a  whit  the  worse  because  fats 
mother  never  stood  outside  the  canonical  rail 
Pass  your  wine.  Farmer;  I  despise  a  man,  a 
scoundrel,  who  deals  in  inuendoes.  O  it's  des« 
picable,  d — d  despicable.  I  don't  like,  how- 
ever,  to  be  trusted  by  halves— «hall  keep   a 


BAtTLIK^  THS  msKyxA.       299 

sharp  lixk  out  on  the  joker— ^vsth  me^  a  Hecret 
is  always  perfectly  safe." 

^  O,  then  tbore  b  Ji  secret,  I  see,''  said  Mr. 
Famer.  ^  You  had  better  go  now,  Mr.  Rattliii, 
and  attend  to  the  Captain's  orders  to*4iBorvow." 
Tike  word  Mister  sounded  sharply,  yet  not  un- 
pleasingly,  to  my  ear:  it  was  the  irst  time  I 
had  been  so  designated  or  so  digniied.  Here 
was  another  evidence  that  I  had,  or  ought  to^ 
cast  irouL  me  the  slough  of  boyhood,  and  etiaet, 
bokUy,  the  man.  I  therefore  summoned  up 
courage  to  say  tiiat  I  did  not  perfectly  under- 
stand the  purport  of  the  captain^s  order,  and 
solicited  an  explanation. 

^  Yes,"  sud  he ;  "  the  service  has  come  to 
a:  I  pretty  pass,  when  the  youngest  oflScer  of  my 
^p  asks  me  to  explain  my  orders,  instead  oC 
obeying  Aem." 

.  ^  I  had  better  give  him  a  note  to  the  com- 
manding officer,  for  I  may  not  happen  to  be  on 
beard  when  he  arrives." 

A  note  was  written  and  given  me. 

"  Good  night,  Mr.  Rattlin,"  said  the  captain. 

"  Good  night,  sir^''  said  I,  advancing  very 


300  R  ATT  [.IN,    THE    KEEFLK. 

amiably  to  share  hands  with  my  little  com- 
mander. My  action  took  him  more .  aback 
than  a  heavy  squall  would  have  done  the  beau* 
tiful  fiigate  he.  commanded.  The  prestige  of 
rank,  and  the  pride  of  discipline  struggled  with 
his  sense  of  the  common  coiurtesies  of  life.  He 
half  held  out  his  band ;  he  withdrew  it — it  was 
again  proffered  and  again  withdrawn !  He 
really  looked  confused  At  lengthy  as  if  he 
had  rallied  up  all  his  energies  to  act  coura- 
geously, he  thrust  them  resolutely  into  hia 
pocket ;  and  then  said,  ^<  There,  younker,  thai 
will  do.     Go  and  turn  in." 

<^  Turned  out,'^  I  muttered,  as  I  left  the 
room.  From  this  brief  incident,  young  as  I 
was,  I  augured  badly  of  Captain  Reud.  I  at 
once  felt  that  I  had  broken  some  rule  of  eti- 
quette, but  I  knew  that  he  had  sinned  against 
the  dictates  of  mere  humanity.  There  was  a 
littleness  in  his  conduct,  and  an  indecision  in 
his  manner,  quite  at  variance  with  my  untutored 
notions  of  the  gallant  bearing  of  a  British 
sailor. 

As  I  lay  in  bed   at  my  inn,  my  mind  re- 


RATTLTN,  THE  REEFEB.        dOl 

enacted  all  the  scenes  of  the  previous  day.  I 
was  certainly  dissatisfied  with  every  occurrence. 
I  was  dissatisfied  with  the  security  of  my  friend 
Josiah  Cheeks,  the  Major- General  of  the  Horse 
Marines,  of  His  Majesty's  Ship  the  Merry  Dun 
of  Dover.  I  was  dissatisfied  with  my  reception 
by  Captain  Reud,  of  His  Majesty's  ship  Eos, 
notwithstanding  his  skill  at  spinning  upon  a 
bottle ;  nor  was  I  altogether  satisfied  with  the 
blustering,  half-protecting,  half-overbearing  con- 
duct towards  me,  of  his  first  lieutenant,  Mr. 
Farmer.  But  all  these  dissatis&ctions  united 
were  as  nothing  to  the  disgust  I  felt  at  the 
broad  inuendoes,  so  liberally  flung  out,  con- 
cerning the  mystery  of  my  birth. 


END    OF   VOL.    I. 


LONDON  ; 

*  ■  ■  1 

IBOIftOX    ANP    PALMia,    PRlMTSat,   8AV0T   STREET,   STRAND. 


1^ 


RATTLIN, 


THE     REEFER 


EDITED   BY 


THE  AUTHOR  OF  "  PETER  SIMPLE." 


"  All  haodi  RBir  topsailB'-A^ny,  aloft !" 


IN  THREE  VOLUMES. 


VOL.  IL 


Sbnon\^  "Coition. 


LONDON: 
IIJCHARD  BENTLEY,  NEW  BURLINGTON  STREET. 

1830. 


CONTENTS 


TO  THE  SECOND  VOLUME. 


Chaptbb  I. — Ralph's  heart  still  at  home— His  coffee^ 
room  friend  all  abroad— Gets  his  I.  O.  U.  cashed, 
and  sees  the  giver  exalted  to  everybody's  satisfac- 
tion but  his  own  .  .  .  Page  1 

Chapter  II.— Ralph  is  slupped,  hulked,  and  over, 
come — ^A  dark  hall  and  an  ebony  servitor-— A  tailor's 
politeness,  and  a  master's  mate,  who  sighs  to  be 
mated,  yet  does  not  see  that  he  is  outmatched  .    14 

Chaptkb  III.— Jealousy  cooled  by  a  watering— Ralph 
exhorteth,  and  right  wisely. — ^The  boatswain  sees 
many  things  in  a  new  light — and,  though  he  causeth 
crabs  to  be  caught,  he  bringeth  them  to  a  wrong 
market  .  .  .  •  27 


IV  CONTENTS. 

Cbaptbb  IV.— Another  mystery—all  orcgoyed  be- 
cause  the  Eos  is  under  weigh  ;  she  works  well- 
through  the  water — ^her  oflBicers  through  their  whie 
—Ralph  refiraineth^  and  sel£-glorifieth— a  long  shore 
man  makes  a  short  stay  on  board— because  he  won't 
go  on  the  wrong  tack         ...  43 

Cbaptbb  V.— The  volunteer  and  his  late,  showing  how 
a  great  rogue,  notwithstanding  that  be  may  appear 
to  be  bom  to  be  hung,  wiU  soBietiniei  happen  to 
drown  .  •  •  .  .  53 

Cbaptbb  VI.— Symptoms  of  sickness,  not  of  the  sea, 
but  of  the  land  beyond  it — Our  M.D.  wishes  to 
write  D.  I.  O.,  and  prepares  accordingly.— Ralph  is 
about  to  reap  his  first  marine  laurels  on  the  rocks  of 
Cove  .  .  .  .  .69 

Chapter  VII.— A  little  boat  with  a  large  cargo- 
Worse  than  the  drift  of  a  dull  argument,  Ralph 
finds  drifting  across  the  Atlantic— He  meets  with 
land  at  length,  and  a  real  Irish  welcome— Potatoes 
and  poteen,  and  much  more  fur  than  furniture    .  8:^ 

Chapteb  VIII.— Ralph  figureth  at  a  ball,  excelleth, 
and  afterwards  sleepeth*-He  retumeth  on  board, 
and  hath  both  his  toils  and  his  sand  undervalued, 
and  thus  discovereth  the  gratitude  of  first  lieu- 
tenants. ...  96 


CONTEKT8.  V 

Chaptkb  IX.— An  invaliding  suit — ^Tbe  cards  well 
play^«  and  by  a  trump ;  the  odd  tricky  however^  in 
much  danger — ^The  doctor  finesses  with  a  good 
heart;  but  diamonds  are  cutting  articles    .      .    107 

Chapter  X.— -Valid  reasons  for  'invaliding — The  pa- 
tient cured  in  spite  of  himself-^and  a  lecture  on  dis- 
ease  in  general^  with  a  particular  case  of  instruments 
as  expositors       .....     118 


Chapter  XI. — Paving-stones  sometimes  prove  stum- 
bling-blocks— ^A  disquisition  on  the  figurative  ends 
by  Ralph  figuring  at  the  mast-head,  thus  extending 
his  views, upon  the  subject  .  .  134 


Chapter  XII. — Ralph  regenerateth  himself,  and  be- 
cometh  good,  for  half-an.hour — Singeth  one  verse 
of  a  hymn,  escheweth  telling  one  lie,  and  getteth 
his  reward  in  being  asked  to  breakfast  1 40 

Chapter  XIII. — How  to  make  a  day's  work  easy — 
Ralph  avoideth  trouble  by  anticipating  land,  but  is 
anticipated  by  the  enemy — ^A  chapter  altogether  of 
chasing,  which  it  is  hoped  will  pleasantly  chase 
away  the  reader's  ennui  .  •  .158 


being-  nearly  knocked  down 

Chapter  XV, — It's  well  to  have  a  lo 
one  sips  soups  with  the  devil — The 
seldom  misses — It  is  not  always  plet 
clean  shirt  to  one's  back^  yeiy  ampl] 
the  best  method  of  yiewing  an  affair 
your  own  advantage 

Chapter  XVI. — A  naval  dinner  with'  its 
— A  naval  argument  with  its  consei 
way  down  the  river  paved  at  last^  and 
and  the  person  of  the  unfortunate  pavi( 
rested  •  ... 

Chapter  XVII. — The  palisade  banquet 
Flushfire's  anthem  to  Yellow  Jack— HH 
The  sands  of  life's  hour-glass  will  run 
unless  well  soaked  with  wine 


C019TE17TB. 


VU 


Chapivb  XIX  — Ralph  entereth  into  the  regions  of  ro- 
mance and  prirateering — Carried  thither  by  a  French 
pilot,  malgrS  /til— An  inopportune  viat  2S3 


Chaftbb  XX. — Treats  of  kind  intentions  frustrated— 
A  visiting  party  prevented  by  one  ball  too  many 
having  been  given— And  ready-made  domestic  hap- 
inness  for  strangers  •  •  867 

CRAPim XXI— Zflat«oii#  dangereuiU^Halph  diveth 
into  the  dilemma  of  love,  and  admireth  the  fatherly 
conduct  of  the  parent  of  his  Duldnea^-Yet  rageth 
and  weepeth  that  she  is  a  slave  who  hath  enslaved 
him  •  •  •  •  881 


•     •  V 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 


CHAPTER  I. 


Ralph's  heart  still  at  home  —  His  coffee-room  friend 
all  abroad  —  Gets  his  I  O  U  cashed,  and  sees  the 
giver  exalted  to  every  body's  satisfaction  but  his 
own. 


Before  I  plunge  into  all  the  strange  adven- 
tures,  and  unlooked-for  vicissitudes,  of  my 
naval  life,  I  must  be  indulged  with  a  few  prefa- 
tory remarks.  The  royal  navy,  as  a  service,  is 
not  vilified,  nor  the  gallant  members  who  com- 
pose it  insulted,  by  pointing  out  the  idiosyncra- 
sies, the  absurdities,  and  even  the  vices  and 
crimes  of  some  of  its  members.    Human  nature 


VOL.    II. 


B 


.  i 


tions,  the  same  passions,  and  tl 
sit  ions,  both  for  good  and  for  evil, 
ed  on  shore.     The  ocean  breeze 
vert  the  coward  into  the  hero,  t 
man  into  the  philosopher,  or  the  i 
a  pattern  of  liberality.      It  is 
coward  in  the  service  seldom  da 
cowardice ;  that  in  the  inferior  gr 
is  controlled  by  discipline,  and  in  \ 
is  shamed  by  intimate,  and  social 
into   the  semblance  of  much  bet 
Still,  with  all  this,  the  blue  coat, 
covereth   a  multitude  of  sins,   ai 
water  is,  as  yet,  ineflScacious  to  wi 
out 

We  have  said  here  briefly  what 
will  not  do.     It  will  not  change  tl 


RATTLIN,   THE   REEFER.  S 

apt  to  generalize  —  and  this  generalization  has 
done  much  disservice  to  the  British  navy.  It 
forms  a  notion,  creates  a  beau  ideal — a  very 
absurd  one  truly— and  then  tries  every  charac- 
ter by  it  Even  the  offices  of  this  beautiful 
service  have  tacitly  given  in  to  the  delusion ; 
and,  by  attempting  to  frown  down  all  exposis  of 
the  errors  of  individuals,  vainly  endeavour  to 
exalt  that  which  requires  no  such  factitious 
exaltation. 

If  I  am  compelled  to  say  that  this  captain 
was  a  fool  and  a  tyrant,  fools  indeed  must  those 
officers  be  who  draw  the  inference  that  I  mean 
the  impression  to  be  general,  that  all  captains 
are  either  fools  or  tyrants.  Let  the  cavillers 
understand,  that  the  tyranny  and  the  folly  are 
innate  in  the  man,  but,  that  the  service  abhors 
and  represses  the  one,  and  despises  and  often 
reforms  the  other.  The  service  never  made  a 
good  man  bad,  or  a  bad  one  worse :  on  the 
contrary,  it  has  always  improved  the  one,  and 
reformed  the  other.  It  is,  however,  no  libel  to 
say,  that  more  than  a  quarter  of  a  century  ago 
(of  course,  now,  it  is  all  perfection)  it  contained 

b2 


am 


4  RATTLIN5    THE    BEBFJSK. 

some  bad   men  among  its  multitude  of  good. 
Such  as  it  then  was  I  will  faithfully  record. 

Oh!  I  left  myself  in  bed.  My  reflections 
affording  me  so  little  consolation,  when  they 
were  located  in  the  vicinity  of  Chatham,  I  order- 
ed my  obedient  mind  to  travel  back  to  Stickenr 
ham,  whilst  I  felt  more  than  half  inclined  to 
make  my  body  take  the  same  course  the  next 
morning.  Not  that  my  courage  had  failed  me ; 
but  I  actually  felt  a  disgust  at  all  that  I  had 
heard  and  seen.  How  different  are  the  sharp, 
abrading  corners  that  meet  us  at  every  turn  in 
our  passage  through  real  life  to  the  sunny 
dreams  of  our  imagination  i  Already  my  dirk 
had  ceased  to  give  me  satisfaction  in  looking 
upon  it,  and  my  uniform,  that  two  days  before 
I  thought  so  bewitching,  I  had,  a  few  hours 
since,  been  informed  was  to  be  soiled  by  a  foul 
anchor.  How  gladly  that  night  my  mind  re- 
velled among  the  woods  and  fields  and  waters 
of  the  romantic  village  that  I  had  just  left ! 
Then  its  friendly  inhabitants  came  throng- 
ing upon  the  beautiful  scene ;  and  pre-eminent 
among  them    stood  my  good  schoolmistress, 


RATTLiN,   THE   REEFER.  5 

ftnd  my  loying  godmother.  Of  all  the  imaginary 
groap,  she  alone  did  not  smile.  •  It  was  then, 
and  not  till  then,  that  I  felt  the  bitterness  of 
the  word  **  farewell.'*  My  conscience  smote 
me  that  I  had  behaved  unkindly  towards  her. 
I  now  remembered  a  thousand  little  con- 
trivances, all  of  which,  in  my  exalted  spirits,  I 
had  pertinaciously  eluded,  that  she  had  put  in 
practice  in  order  to  be  for  a  few  minutes  alone 
with  me.  I  now  bitterly  reproached  myself 
for  my  perversity.  What  secrets  might  I  not 
have  heard  !  And  then  my  heart  told  me  in  a 
voice  I  could  not  doubt,  that  it  was  she  who 
had  hovered  round  my  bed  the  whole  night 
previous  to  my  departure.  My  schoolfellows 
had  all  slept  soundly,  yet  I,  though  wakeful, 
had  the  folly  to  appear  to  sleep  also.  Of  one 
thing  I  felt  convinced,  that  I  could  never  again 
act  unkindly,  without  myself  suffering  much 
more  than  my  victim.  I  then  remembered  it  dis- 
tinctly, though  I  noticed  it  but  little  at  the 
time,  when  she  uttered  her  tremulous  ^*  Good 
bye — God  bless  you  !'*'  that  her  sickly  smile 
was  accompanied  by  certain  very  pathetic  twitch- 


1?^: 


m\W  ft  T4 


6  RATTLIN,   THE   REEFER. 

ings  in  the  face,  which  added  but  little  to  her 
personal  beauty.  All  these  things  I  now  called 
to  mind  with  a  most  tantalizing  exactitude! 
and  when  I  compared  them  to  my  new  cap- 
tain's hard,  heartless,  and  sneering  expression, 
**  Piously  brought  up,**  I  felt  far  from  com- 
fortable. Whilst  I  was  considering  how  people 
could  be  so  unkind,  sleep  came  kindly  to  me, 
and  I  awoke  next  morning  in  good  spirits,  and 
laughed  at  my  dejection  of  the  preceding 
evening. 

Whilst  I  was  at  breakfast  in  the  coffee-room, 
I  was  a  little  surprised  and  a  good  deal  flattered 
by  the  appearance  of  Lieutenant  Farmer.  He 
accQsted  me  kindly,  told  me  not  again  to 
attempt  to  offer  first  to  shake  hands  with  my 
captain,  for  it  was  against  the  rules  of  the 
service ;  and  then  he  sat  down  beside  me,  and 
commenced  very  patiently  d  me  tirer  Us  vers 
du  nez.  He  was  a  fine,  gallant  fellow,  passion- 
ately desirous  of  promotion,  which  was  not  sur- 
prising, for  be  had  served  long  and  with  con- 
siderable distinction,  and  was  still  a  lieutenant, 
whilst  he  was  more  than  fourteen  years  above 


RATTLIN,   THE   &EEF£R«  7 

his  captain,  both  in  length  of  service  and  in 
age.  Was  I  related  to  my  Lord  A— P  Did 
I  know  any  thing  of  Mr.  Rose  ?  Had  I  any 
connexions  that  knew  Mr.  Perceval,  8cc.  ?  I 
frankly  told  him  that  I  knew  no  one  of  any 
note,  and  that  it  had  been  directly  enjoined 
upon  me,  by  the  one  or  two  friends  that  I  pos- 
sessed, never  to  converse  about  my  private 
afffdrs  with  any  one. 

Mr.  Farmer  felt  himself  rebuked,  but  not 
offended;  he  was  a  generous,  noble  fellow, 
though  a  little  passionate,  and  too  taut  a  disci- 
plinarian. He  told  me  that  he  had  no  doubt  we 
should  be  good  friends,  that  I  had  better  go  to 
the  dock-yard,  and  inquire  for  the  landing- 
place,  and  for  the  Eos^  cutter,  which  was  wait- 
ing there  for  stores.  That  I  was  to  make 
myself  known  to  the  officer  of  the  boat,  who 
would  give  me  two  or  three  hands  to  convey  my 
luggage  down  to  it,  and  that  I  had  better  ship 
myself  as  soon  as  I  could.  He  told  me,  also, 
that  he  would  probably  be  on  board  before  me, 
but,  at  all  events,  if  he  were  not,  that  I  was  to 


?  ■^': 


8  RAnLIN^   THE   REEFER. 

give  to  the  commanding  officer  the  letter,  with 
which  he  had  furnished  me  on  the  night  before. 

He  left  me  with  a  more  favourable  impression 
on  my  mind  than  I  had  before  entertained.  I 
paid  my  bill,  and  found  my  way  to  Chatham 
Dock-yard.  I  was  struck  with  the  magnitude 
of  the  works,  at  the  order,  cleanliness,  and  regu- 
larity that  every  where  appeared,  and  at  the 
gigantic  structures  of  the  vessels  on  the  stocks. 

I  had  just  gained  the  landing-place,  to  which 
I  had  been  directed  by  a  gentleman,  who  wore 
some  order  of  merit  upon  his  ancles,  and  who 
kindly  offered  me  a  box  of  dominoes  for  sale, 
when  I  saw  a  twelve-oared  barge  pull  in  among 
the  other  boats  that  were  waiting  there.  The 
stern  sheets  were  full  of  officers,  distinguishable 
among  whom  was  one  with  a  red  round  face, 
sharp  twinkling  eyes,  and  an  honest  corpulency 
of  body  truly  comfortable.  He  wore  his  laced 
cocked  hat,  with  the  rosetted  comers,  resting 
each  on  one  of  his  heavily  epauletted  shoulders. 
His  face  looked  so  fierce  and  rubescent  under 
his  vast  hat,  that  he  put  me  in  mind  of  a  large 


RATTUN,   THE   REBPERi  9 

coal,  the  lower  half  of  which  wa9  in  a  state  of 
combustioD.  He  landed  with  the  other  officers, 
and  I  then  perceived  that  he  was  gouty  And 
lame,  and  walked  with  a  sddc,  that  had  affixed 
to  it  a  transverse  ivory  head,  something  like  a 
diminutive  ram's  horn.  Amidst  this  group  of 
officers,  I  obserred  mj  coffee-room  friend,  the 
major-general  of  the  horse  marines,  who  seemed 
excessively  shy,  and  at  that  moment  absorbed 
in  geological  studies,  for  he  could  not  take  his 
eyes  from  off  the  earth.  However,  pushing 
hastily  by  the  port-admiral,  for  such  was  the 
ancieiit  podagre,  **  Ah  I  major-general,^  said  I 
to  the  abashed  master's  mate,  **  I  am  very  glad 
to  meet  with  you.  Have  you  been  to  the  bank 
this  morning  to  cash  your  fifty  pound  bill  ?^ 

"  Don^t  know  ye,"  said  my  friend,  giving  me 
more  than  the  cut  direct,  for,  if  he  could  have 
used  his  eyes  as  a  sword,  I  should  have  had  the 
cut  decisive. 

"Not  know  me!  well — but  you  are  only 
joking,  General  Cheeks  r 

The  surrounding  officers  began  to  be  very 

b5 


-:*f 


10  RATTLIN^   THE   REBFER. 

much  amused,  and  the  port-admiral  became 
extremely  eager  in  his  attention. 

*'  Tell  ye,  don't  know  ye,  younker,''  said  my 
gentleman,  folding  his  arms,  and  attempting  to 
look  magnificent  and  strange. 

^^  Well,  this  is  cool.  So,  sir,  you  mean  to 
deny  that  you  drank  two  bottles  of  my  port 
wine  yesterday  evening,  and  that  you  did  not 
give  me  your  I  O  U  for  the  twenty  riiillings 
you  borrowed  of  me  ?  I  ^U  trouble  you,  if  you 
please,  for  the  money ,^  for  I  was  getting  angry ; 
^*  as  I  am  quite  a  stranger  to  the  head  swab* 
washer,  and  should  not  like  to  trouble  the 
gentleman  either  for  cash  or  slops,  without  a 
formal  introduction.**^ 

At  this  juncture,  the  fiery  face  of  the  port- 
admiral  became  more  fiery,  his  fierce  small  eye 
more  flashing,  and  his  ivory-handled  stick  was 
lifted  up  tremblingly,  not  with  fear,  but  rage. 
"  Pray,  sir,''  said  he  to  me,  "  who  is  he  ?'*'  point- 
ing to  my  friend ;  "  and  who  are  you  ?*" 

*^  This  gentleman,  sir,  I  take  to  be,  either  a 
swindler  or  Josiah  Cheeks,  Major-Greneral  of 


&ATTLIN,  THE   REEFER.  11 

the  Horse  Marines,  of  his  Majesty^s  ship,  the 
Merry  Dun  of  Dover,^  handing  to  the  admiral 
the  acknowledgment ;  ^^  and  I  am,  sir,  Ralph 
Rattlin,  just  come  down  to  join  his  Majesty ^s 
ship  the  Eos.*" 

^*  I  '11  answer  for  the  truth  of  the  latter  part 
of  this  young  gentleman's  assertion,**  said  Cap«> 
tain  Reud,  now  coming  forward  with  Lieutenant 
Farmer. 

^'  Is  this  your  writing,  sir?^*  said  the  admiral, 
to  the  discomfited  master^s  mate,  in  a  voice 
worse  than  thunder;  for  it  was  almost  as  loud, 
and  infinitely  more  disagreeable.  *^  I  see  by 
your  d — d  skulking  look,  that  you  have  been 
making  a  scoundrel  of  yourself,  and  a  fool  of 
this  poor  innocent  boy/' 

^^  I  hope,  sir,  you  do  not  think  me  a  fool  for 
believing  an  English  officer  incapable  of  a  lie  ?^^ 

"  Well  said,  boy,  well  said  —  I  see  —  this 
scamp  has  turned  out  to  be  both  the  scoundrel 
and  the  fool.^ 

*^  I  only  meant  it  for  a  joke,  sir,^  said  the 
sai^sant  Mr.  Cheeks,  taking  ofi"  his  hat,  and 
holding  it  humbly  in  his  hand. 


r4^*"J^1 


12  RATTLIK,   THE   BEBFEE. 


<c 


Take  up  jour  note  directly,  or  I  shall  expel 
you  the  service  for  forgery.^ 

The  delinquent  fumbled  for  some  time  in  his 
pocket,  and  at  length  could  produce  only  tiiiree- 
pence  farthing,  a  tobacco-stopper,  and  an  unpaid 
tavern  bill.  He  was  forced  to  confess  he  had 
not  the  money  about  him. 

«  Your  fifty  pound  bill,*'  said  I.  "  The  bank 
must  be  open." 

The  major-general  looked  at  me. 

It  was  a  good  thing  for  the  giver  of  I  O  Us, 
that  the  mirth  the  whole  transaction  created^ 
did  not  permit  the  old  admiral  to  be  so  severe 
with  his  **  whys,^  as  he  would  have  been.  He^ 
however,  told  the  culprit's  captain,  whom  he  had 
just  brought  on  shore  in  the  barge,  to  give  me 
the  twenty  shillings,  and  to  charge  it  against 
him,  and  then  to  give  him  an  airing  at  the  mast- 
head till  sunset ;  telling  him,  at  the  same  time, 
he  might  feel  himself  very  happy  at  not  being 
disrated  and  turned  before  the  mast. 

I  was  departing,  very  well  satisfied  with  this 
summary  method  of  administering  justice,  when 
I  found  that  I  was  not  altogether  to  escape,  for 


RATTLINy   THB    BESrEK.  18 

the  old  gentleman  commenced  opening  a  broad- 
side upon  me,  for  not  wearing  the  Admiralty 
uniform.  Lieutenant  Farmer,  however,  came 
very  kindly  to  my  rescue,  and  offered  the  ad- 
miral a  sufficient  explanation. 

I  was  then  directed  to  the  Eos^  boat,  the  cox- 
swain and  a  couple  of  men  went  with  me  for 

™y  l^SS^^S^  <^^  i^  1^^  ^h<^  ^^f  A°  hour,  I 
was  being  rowed  down  the  Medway  towards  the 
ship.  As  we  passed  by  what  I  looked  upon  as 
an  immense  and  terrifically  lofty  seventy-four,  I 
looked  up,  and  descried  Major-Oeneral  Cheeks 
slowly  climbing  up  the  newly-tarred  main  top- 
mast rigging,  ^^  like  a  snail  unwillingly,^  to  the 
topmast  cross-trees.  It  was  a  bitterly  cold  day, 
at  the  end  of  November,  and  there  is  no  doubt 
but  that  his  reflections  were  as  bitter  as  the 
weather.  Practical  jokes  have  sometimes  very 
bad  practical  consequences. 


CHA1>TER  11. 

Ralph  is  shipped,  hulked  and  oveicome--A 
and  an  ebony  senritor  —  A  tailor's  poUteoc 
tnastei's  mate,  who  sighs  to  be  mated,  j«r 
Me  that  he  is  outmatched. 

r  rotWD  die  Eos  all  rigged  and  9ti9ii| 
hi^emj  with  the  not  yeiy  i^i^eahk  m 
ddek-jard  pdnt.  The  ship's  compagy  i 
howerer,  on  board  rf  hdr.  They  Weie 
on  board  of  the  Pegasus.  A  very  hrfel 
duction  to  the  officers  of  the  watch. 


-.1 1 


aATTLIN^   THE   REBFER.  15 

tleman  usher.  It  was  a  gloomy,  ^^SSJ'  c^iUj 
day,  and  the  damp  of  the  atmosphere  was  min- 
gled with  the  reeking,  dank,  animal  effluvia  that 
came  up,  thick  and  almost  tangible,  from  the 
filthy  receptacle  of  crowded  hundreds. 

As  I  descended  into  darkness,  and  nearly  felt 
overpowered  by  the  compound  of  villanous 
smells,  I  was  something  more  than  sick  at  heart. 
My  pioneer,  at  length,  lifted  up  the  comer  of  a 
piece  of  dirty  canvas,  that  screened  off  a  space 
of  about  six  feet  square  from  the  rest  of  the 
ship^s  company.  This  I  was  given  to  under, 
stand  was  the  young  gentlemerCs  quarters, 
their  dining-room  and  their  drawing-room  com- 
bined. Even  I,  who  had  not  yet  attained  my 
full  growth,  could  not  stand  erect  in  this  saloon 
of  elegance.  I  am  stating  nothing  but  literal 
fiicts.  On  an  oaken  table,  still  more  greasy 
than  the  greasy  decks  over  which  I  had  slipped 
in  my  passage  to  this  den,  stood  a  flickering, 
spluttering,  intensely  yellow  candle,  of  very 
slender  dimensions,  inserted  in  a  black  quart 
bottle.  Beside  it  was  placed  a  battered  bread- 
basket, containing  some  broken  biscuit ;  and  a 


^  otutiievi,     worn- 
brush,  and  a   shallow  pewter  wash-1 
filled    witli    horridly    dirty    water. 
round  this  table  there  were  no  other 
than  various  chests  of  various  dimens 
Of  such  sordid  penury  as  I  then 
I  had  read,  but  never  supposed  I 
compelled  to  witness,  much  less  to  ahi 
withstanding  the  closeness  of  this  ho 
excessively  cold.     There  was  not  a  s 
to  welcome  me,  the  petty  officers  being 
on  dock-yard  duty.     It  might  have 
o'clock  when  I  was  first  ushered  intotl 
of  darkness,   of  chill  and  evil  odours 
mained  with  my  surtout  coat  on,  sittii 
chest,  with  my  hands  clasped  before 
with  cold,    and   melancholy  almost 
How  much  then  I  panted  for  the  br 


RA-nrLfN,   THE   RBfiFfiR.  17 

ybite  myself  that  all  I  saw  around  The  was  real. 
The  light  that  the  single  unsnuffed  candle  gaTe, 
became  more  dim  and  smoky.  I  began  to  think 
that  my  spirit  had  most  surely  stepped  into  the 
vestibule  of  the  abode  of  shadows ;  and  I  wished 
to  conTince  myself  that  my  body  was  far,  far 
away  sleeping  in  a  pure  atmosphere,  and  under 
a  friendly  roof.  Minute  after  minute  dropped 
its  weight  heavily,  like  so  many  pellets  of  lead 
upon  my  disordered  brain.  I  became  confused 
— perhaps  I  was  nearly  upon  the  point  of  syn* 
cope  from  the  sudden  change  to  bad  air.  I  felt 
that  all  I  saw  about  me,  if  not  real,  would 
prove  that  I  was  mad;  and  I  feared  that  I 
should  become  so,  if  the  scene  turned  out  to  be 
no  illusion.  At  last  I  jumped  up,  as  I  felt  my 
stupor  and  my  sickness  increasing,  exclaiming 
— **  This  is  hell  —  and  there 's  the  devil !"  as  I 
observed  a  hideous,  shining  black  face  peering 
at  me  over  the  top  of  the  screen,  grinning  in 
such  a  manner,  with  a  row  of  white  teeth, 
that  reminded  me  of  so  many  miniature  tomb- 
stones stretching  right  across  a  dark  church- 
yard. 


18  RATTLINy  THE   REEFER. 

**  No  debbd,  sar — ^my  name,  sar,  Lillydew-*- 
vat  you  please  vant,  sar  ?  —  steward  to  young 
gentlemen,  sar.  Will  young  massa  have  a  liUy 
white  bit  soft  tommy,  sar,— fbroil  him  a  sodger, 
sar — bumboat  along  side,  get  a  fresh  herring 
for  relish,  sar.^ 

^^Oet  me  a  little  fresh  air  —  take  me  up 
stairs,^ 

^*  O  Gemminnie !  hi  I  hi !  hi !  — young  gen- 
tleman, Massa  Johnny  Newcome.  This  way, 
sar.** 

Conducted  by  this  angel  of  darkness,  I  re* 
gained  the  deck  and  daylight,  and  the  nausea 
soon  left  my  chest,  and  the  pain  my  head.  I 
then  made  this  reflection,  that  whatever  glory  a 
naval  officer  may  attain,  if  he  went  through  the 
ordeal  I  was  about  essaying,  he  richly  deserved 
it.  The  captain  and  some  of  the  other  officers 
now  came  on  board.  I  was  introduced  to  most 
of  them,  and  the  skipper  made  himself  very 
merry  with  an  account  of  my  recent  adventure 
with  the  master'^s  mate,  who  was  still  at  the 
mast-head,  as  a  convincing  proof  of  the  accuracy 


RATTLIN^  THE   REEFER.  19 

of  the  story,  and  was  plainly  distinguishable 
some  half  mile  higher  up  the  Medway.  ' 

I  soon  entered  into  conversation  with  one  of 
the  young  gentlemen  who  was  destined  to  be, 
tor  so  long,  my  messmate.  I  told  him  that  the 
air  below  would  kill  me.  He  acknowledged 
that  it  was  bad  enough  to  kill  a  dog,  but  that 
a  reefer  could  stand  it.  He  also  advised  me 
not  to  have  my  uniforms  altered  by  the  ship^s 
tailors,  as  it  would  be  done  in  a  bungling  man- 
ner ;  but  to  get  leave  to  go  on  shore,  and  that 
he  would  introduce  me  to  a  very  honest  trades- 
man who  would  do  me  justice.  I  expressed 
my  hopes  to  him,  in  a  dry  manner,  that  he  did 
not  belong  to  the  regiment  of  horse  marines. 
He  understood  me,  and  said,  upon  his  honour, 
no ;  that  it  was  all  fair  and  above  board ;  and 
as  a  recommendation,  which  he  thought  would 
be  irresistible,  he  added  that  this  tailor  had  a 
very  pretty  daughter,  with  the  very  pretty 
name  of  Jemima. 

'As  the  latter  information  was  very  satisfac- 
tory evidence  as  to  the  skill  and  honesty  of 
the  tradesman,  I  could  not  be  guilty  of  such 


'<mM 


20  RATTLIN,   THte    RECFER. 

a  non  sequitur  as  not  to  promise  to  employ  liim. 
I  then  told  him  to  make  haste  and  come  on 
shore  with  me.  I  now  was  made  painfully 
sensible  that  before  I  could  enjoy  my  wishes  a 
little  ceremony  was  needful.  In  fact,  that  my 
powers  of  locomotion  were  no  longer  under  my 
own  control,  excepting  for  about  one  hundred 
and  twenty  feet,  in  one  direction,  and  about 
thirty- five  in  another.  As  I  was  passing  over 
the  star-board  of  the  quarter-deck  to  ask  leave 
to  go  on  shore,  the  captain  accosted  me,  and 
did  me  the  honour  to  request  my  company  to 
dinner  at  his  table.  Finding  him  in  so  bland  a 
humour,  I  preferred  my  request  to  live  on 
shore  till  the  ship  sailed.  He  smiled  at  the 
enormity  of  my  demand,  and  asked  what 
induced  it.  I  frankly  told  him  the  filth  and 
bad  smell  of  my  accommodations ;  and  also  my 
wish  not  to  be  seen  on  board  until  my  uniforms 
were  complete. 

^^  He  ^s  an  original,^  said  the  captain  to  the 
first  lieutenant,  ^*  but  there  is  some  sense  in  his 
request.  I  suppose  ^ott  have  no  objection,  Mr. 
Farmer.      Young  gentleman,**'  he  continued. 


RATTUN,   THE   REBFER.  £1 

turning  to  me,  ^*  you  must  always  ask  the  first 
lieutenant,  in  future,  for  leave.  Mind,  don^t  be 
later  than  four  o^clock.^ 

My  messmate,  with  all  manner  of  humility, 
now  made  his  request,  which  beiog  granted,  we 
went  down  together  to  my  chest,  and  making  a 
bundle  of  all  the  clothes  that  required  altera^ 
tion,  we.  placed  that  and  ourselves  in  a  shore 
boat,  and  made  our  way  to  the  tailor^s.  I  was 
there  introduced  to  the  lovely  Jemima.  She 
looked  like  a  very  pretty  doll,  modelled  with 
crumbs  of  white  bread ;  she  was  so  soft,  so  fair, 
and  so  unmeaning.  After  the  order  was  given, 
my  maker  of  the  outward  man  hazarded  a  few 
inquiries,  in  a  manner  so  kind  and  so  obliging, 
that  quite  made  me  lose  sight  of  their  imperti- 
nence. When  he  found  that  I  had  leave  to 
remain  on  shore,  and  that  my  pocket-book  was 
far  from  being  ill-furnished,  he  expatiated  very 
feelingly  upon  the  exactions  of  living  at  inns, 
offered  me  a  bed  for  nothing,  provided  only 
that  I  would  pay  for  my  breakfast,  and  appoint 
him  my  tailor  in  ordinary ;  and  declared  that 
be  would  leave  no  point  unturned,  to  make  me 


»,        xTxxaa  OKHinmSL 

and,  as  I  seemed  to  hesitate,   the  in 
ing  dear  slily  came  up  beside  me, 
my  hand  pressed  it  amorously,  stea 
look  with  eyes  swimming  with  a 
pression.     This  by-play  decided  tl 
The  agreement  was  made,  the  tenn 
entirely  to  Mr.  Tapes.     Covering  n 
priate  dress  with  my  blue  surtout,  I 
leaving  with    my  messmate,  when 
lady  said  to  her  father,  ^*  Perhaps  1 
would   like  to  see  his  room  befoi 
out?'' 

**  Not  particularly.'' 

**  Oh,  but  you  must.  You  may 
and  I  and  the  servant  may  be  out — t 
you  must  not  come  up,  Mr.  Pridhon 
boots  are  so  abominably  dirtv.    Then 


RATTLINj   THE  REEFER.  28 


**  Who  is  old  leather-chops— your  father  ?^ 

*^  Dear  me,  no  never  mind  him.  I  mean 
jour  messmate,  Mr.  Pridhomme/^ 

*^  I  '*m  stepping  into  life,^  thought  I,  as  I 
went  down  stairs,  ^*  and  with  no  measured 
strides  either.**' 

**  What  do  you  think  of  Jemima?^  said  Mr. 
Pridhomme,  as  we  walked  arm-in-arm  towards 
the  ramparts. 
Pretty.'' 

Pretty — why  she 's  an  angel !  If  there  was 
ever  an  angel  on  earth  it  is  Jemima  Tapes. 
But  what  is  mere  beauty  ?  Nothing  compared 
to  sincerity  and  innocence — she  is  all  innocence 
and  sincerity.'' 

^^  I  am  glad  that  you  believe  so." 

**  Believe  so — why  look  at  her  !  She  is  all 
innocence.     She  won't  let  her  father  kiss  her." 

««  Why .?" 

*^  She  says  it  is  so  indelicate." 

^^  How  does  she  know  what  is,  or  what  is  not, 
indelicate  ?" 

"  D — ^n  it,  younker,  you  ""d  provoke  a  saint 


think  tlmt  she  ever  kissed  any  bo 
mother,  and  that  was  years  ago.*" 

"  Perhaps  she  does  not  know  hoM 

^^  I  'm  sure  she  don^t.  If  I  had 
I  'd  marry  her  to-morrow,  only  I'm  . 
too  modest.**^ 

^^  Your  fear  is  very  commendable 
ladies  at  Chatham  so  remarkable  for 

*^  No — and  that's  what   makes  J 
singular." 

I  like  to  make  people  happy  if  th 
so,  and  if  they  are,  even  though  tl 
ness  may  be  the  creation  of  a  delusi 
to  leave  them  so.  I,  therefore,  encou 
Pridhomme  to  pour  all  his  raptures  ; 
he  thought,  an  approving  ear,  and  Je 
the  theme,  until  he  left  me  at  the  d 


BATTLDly  THE   SEEFEB;  f 5 

cent  mysdf,  though  not  wholly  ignorant.  I 
should  have  deemed  Miss  Jemima's  oaculatory 
art  as  the  mere  eflFect  of  high  spirits  and  hoj- 
denly  playfulness,  had  it  not  been  for  the 
hypocrisy  that  she  was  displaying  towards  my 
messmate.  I  had  translated  Oil  Bias  at  school, 
and  I  therefore  set  her  down  for  an  intrepid 
coquette,  if  not  unefranche  aventuriire.  How- 
ever, though  I  pitied  my  messmate,  that  was 
no  reason  why  I  should  not  enjoy  my  dinner. 

That  day,  I  liked  my  little  saffron-coloured 
captain  much  better.  He  played  the  host  very 
agreeably.  He  made  as  many  inquiries  as  he 
dared,  without  too  much  displaying  his  own 
ignorance,  as  to  the  extent  of  my  acquirements, 
and,  when  he  found  them  so  far  beyond  his 
expectations,  he  seemed  to  be  struck  with  a 
sudden  respect  for  me.  The  tone  of  his  con- 
versation was  more  decorous  than  that  of  the 
preceding  evening ;  he  gave  me  a  great  deal 
of  nautical  advice,  recommended  me  to  the 
protection  particularly  of  the  first  and  second 
lieutenants,  who  were  also  his  guests,  approved 

VOL.   II.  c 


c*o  A  iciL  me  room,  1  just  caught  th 
"  Make  a  d — d  sea  lawyer  by-and-bv 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER* 


27 


CHAPTER  III. 

Jealousy  cooled  by  a  waterii^^  Ralph  exhorteth,  and 
right  wisely.  —  The  boatswain  sees  many  things  in 
a  new  light  —  and,  though  he  causeth  crabs  to  be 
caught,  he  bringeth  them  to  a  wrong  market. 


PftiDHOMMB  had  been  lying  in  wait  for  me, 
and  picked  me  up  as  I  left  the  hotel.  We 
went  to  the  theatre,  a  wretched  affair  certainly, 
the  absurdities  of  which  I  should  have  much 
enjoyed,  had  I  not  been  bored  to  death  by 
the  eternal  Jemima.  That  lady  was  like  Je- 
mima, and  that  was  not.  Was  the  person  in 
the  blue  silk  dress  as  tall  as  Jemima ;  or  the 
other  in  the  white  muslin  quite  as  stout  ?  Je- 
mima was  all  he   could  talk    about,    till  at 

c2 


n,KMM.^tgl  &A1  U 


end,  even  when  a  midshipman  U 
Jemima,  we,  at  length,  got  to  the  ta 
which  was  opened  by  the  lovely  . 
proprid  persona.  Not  a  step  beyoD 
of  the  door  was  the  lover  admitted, 
poor  wretch  was  fain  to  feast  on  th 
of  remembering  that  he  was  permitte 
the  tip  of  her  fore-finger  whilst  be  si| 
his  fond  good  night. 

In  a  few  days  the  Eos  being  perfec 
ped,  dropped  down  to  Sheerness,  a 
the  first  .time,  slept  under  the  roof 
for  me  by  his  Britannic  Majesty.  .  ' 
say,  I  was  coffined  and  shrouded  in 
tudinal  canvas  bag,  hung  up  to  the  o 
by  two  elects,  one  at  each  end,  in  a  vi 
ful  curve,  very  useful  in  forminit  thi 


RATTLm,   THE   flBfiPBA*  ^ 

BUMkd  me  to  exchange  love  tokens  with  her. 
That  which  I  gave  her  was  a  tolerably  baad- 
some  writmg-desk,  which  I  could  not  help 
buying  for  her,  as  she  had  taken  a  great  fancy 
to  it;  indeed,  she  told  me  it  had  annoyed  her 
for  some  months,  because  it  stood  so  provok- 
ingly  tempting  in  the  shop-window  just  over 
the  way ;  and  besides,  '^  She  should  be  so— so 
happy  to  write  me  such  pretty  letters  from  it."** 
The  last  argument  was  convincing,  and  the 
desk  was  bought ;  in  return  for  which  she  pre- 
sented me  with  a  very  old  silver  pencil-case — 
its  age,  indeed,  she  gave  me  to  understand, 
ought  to  be  its  greatest  value  in  my  eyes — she 
had  had  it  so  long;  it  was  given  to  her  by 
her  defunct  mother.  So  I  promised  to  keep 
it  as  long  as  I  lived.  Really  there  was  no 
chance  of  my  ever  wearing  it  out  by  use, 
for  it  was  certainly  quite  useless;  but  love 
dignifies  things  so  much  !  After  having  split 
it  up  by  shoving  a  piece  of  black-lead  pencil 
into  it,  I  put  it  into  my  waistcoat  pocket,  say- 
ing to  the  heiress  of  the  Chatham  tailor — 
"  Bich  gifts  prove  poor  when  givers  prove  unkind." 


her  hand,  which  would  have  been  r< 
had   she  not   scored   her  forefinger 
villanous  manner  by  her  awkward 
using  her  needle,  when  her  father  w 
hands. 

MHien  I  afterwards  heard  of  O 
being  the  universal  d^pdt  of  ^^  ladiei 
wisely  and  not  too  well,^  roguety  i 
I  could  not  help  thinking  of  my  wri 
and  adding  to  the  list,  Jewesses  also. 

About  a  week  after,  as  we  were  i 
at  Sheemess,  and  I  had  totally  forg 
innocent-looking  Jemima,  Mr.  Pridhc 
smoking  in  a  lover-like  and  melanchol 
against  orders,  a  short  pipe  in  the 
men^s  berth.  As  the  ashes  accumii 
became  at  a  loss  for  a  tobacoo-stopp 


(( 


RATTLIMy  THE  RUFBE.  SI 

q»athy,  at  the  sight  of  this  rdio  of  loye^  dis- 
persed like  the  smoke  <^  his  pipe. 

Where  did  you  get  this,  younker?^  he 
swelliDg  with  passion  in  the  true  turkey* 
cock  style. 

*'  It  was  given  me  as  a  keepsake  by  Miss 
Jemfina,'^  said  I  very  quietly. 

*«  It 's  a  lie— you  stole  it-*" 

^  You  old  scoundrel  r 

'*  You  young  villain  T 

^'  Take  that  I^  roared  my  opponent,  and  the  . 
hrefuUbai^et,  with  its  fragmental  cargo  of  bis* 
cuits,  came  full  in  my  face,  very  considerately 
putting  bread  into  my  mouth  for  his  supposed 
injury. 

**  Take  that  V*  said  I,  seizing  the  rum 
bottle. 

^'  No,  he  shaVt,''  said  Pigtop,  the  master^s 
mate,  laying  hold  of  the  much-prized  treasure, 
**  let  him  take  any  thing  but  that."" 

So  I  flung  the  water-jug  at  his  head. 

We  were  just  proceeding  to  handycu£Ps,  when 
the  master-at-arms,  hearing  the  riot,  opened  the 
door.     We  then  cooled  upon  it,  and  a  truce 


pencil-case,    that  I   had   promised 
long  as  I  lived,  and  a  heartaclie  a 
time. 

The  poor  fellow  had  given  the  i 
mima  this  mutable  love-gift  three  d 
it  came  into  my  possession,  on  wUc 
they  had  broken  a  crooked  rixpene 
I  moralized  upon  this,  and  came  ti 
elusion,  that,  whatever  a  tailor  mi, 
tailor  is  no  match  for  a  tailor^s  daugl 
and  bred  up  at  Chatham. 

Now,  I  have  nothing  wherewith 
the  reader  about  the  mischievous  ti 
were  played  upon  me  in  my  entrance  i 
life.     The  clues  of  my  hammock 
reefed.     I  was  not  lowered. down  by 
into  a  bucket  of  cold  water,  nor  sent  i 


MAVBif»,  fmE  xxatraB.  28 


to  do  battle  on  the  first  oocaMOit  that  cffieied 
itself;  and^  lastly ,  my,  well*-stocked  purse,  and 
the  evident  consideration  shown  to  me  by  the 
captain  and  the  first  lieutenant. 

As  I  write  as  much  for  the  instruction  of  my 
readers,  as  for  their  amusement,  I  wish  to  imk 
presB  upon  them,  if  they  are  themselves,  ck  if 
they  know  any  that  are,  going  to  enter  into  the 
navy,  the  necessity,  in  the  first  instance,  of 
showing  or  recommending  a  proper  spirit 
Never  let  the  debutant  regard  how  young  or 
how  feeble  he  may  be— he  must  make  head 
against  the  first  insult — ^he  must  avenge  the 
first  hoax.  No  doubt  he  will  be  worsted,  and 
get  a  good  beating;  but  that  one  will  save 
him  from  many  hundreds  hereafter,  and,  per- 
haps, the  necessity  of  fighting  a  mortal  duel. 
Your  certain  defeat  will  be  forgotten  in  the 
admiration  of  the  spirit  that  provoked  the  con- 
test. And  remember,  that  the  person  who 
hoaxes  you  is  always  in  the  wrong,  and  it 
depends  only  upon  yourself  to  heap  that  ridi- 
cule upon  him,  that  was  intended  for  your 
own  head ;  to  say  nothing  of  the  odium  that 

c5 


by  a  plain  fact   that  happened  to 
tall,     consequential,     thirty-years-o 
mate,  threatened  to  beat  me,  after 
that  oldsters  are  accustomed  to  beat 
I  told  him,  that  if  be  struck  me,  I  ^ 
again  as  long  as  I  had  strength  ti 
power  to  lift  my  hand.   '  He  Im 
struck  me.     I  retaliated:  it  is  true 
a  sound  thrashing;    but  it  was  m^ 
last,  and  my  tyrant  got  both  his 
blackened,  his  cheek  swollen — and  i 
ther  so  much  defaced,  that  he  was 
hide  himself  in  the  sick-list  for  a 
The  story  could  not  be  told  well  fen 
it  tdld  for  me  gloriously;  indeed,' 
much  annoyed  by  the  whole  affair,  th 
and  asked    leave  to  go  and  mess 


*  •  « 


RATTUH^  THB   RBBFSR.  3& 

But  I  cannot  too  much  caution  youngsters 
against  having  recourse^  in  their  self-defence,  to 
deadly  weapons.    I  am  sorry  to  say^  it  was  too 
common  when  I  was  in  the  navy.     It  is  un* 
English  and  assassin-like.     It  rarely  keeps  off 
the  tyrant;  the  knife,  the  dirk,  or  whatever 
else  be  the  instrument,  is  almost  invariably 
forced  from  the  young  bravo^s  hand,  and  the 
thrashing  that  he  afterwards  gets  is  pitiless,  and 
the  would-be  stabber  finds  no  voice  lifted  in 
his  favour.     He  also  gains  the  stigma  of  cow* 
ardice,  and  the  bad  reputation  of  being  malig- 
nant and  revengeful.     Indeed,  so  utterly  futile 
is  the  drawing  of  murderous  instnunents  in 
little  afirays  of  this  sort,  that,  though  I  have 
known  them  displayed  hundreds  of  times,  yet 
I  never  knew  a  single  wound  to  have  been  in- 
flicted— though  many  a  heavy  beating  has  fol- 
lowed the  atrocious  display.     By  all  means,  let 
my  young  friends  avoid  it.     Now  this  preach- 
ment is  finished,  I  will  on  with  my  adven- 
tures. 

On  the  day  before  we  sailed  from  Sheemess, 
the  captain  had  an  order  conveyed  to  the  first 


86  RATTUN^  THE   REBKB&i 

li^atenant  to  send  me  away  on  doty  imme- 
diately, for  two  or  three  hours.  I  was  bimdfed 
into  the  pinnace  with  old  canvas,  old  Tapes, 
and  old  blocks,  condemned  stores  to  the  djockr 
yard,  and,  as  I  approached  the  landing-^place 
appropriated  for  the  use  of  admirals  .tit  jKiiSf, 
I  saw  embark  from  the  stairs,  exclusivdy  set 
apart  for  admirals  and  post-captains  in  ens, 
my  captain  and  the  port-admiral  in  the  admiral's 
barge,  and«  seated  between  these  two  awful 
personages,  there  sat  a  civilian,  smiling  in  all 
the  rotundity  and  fat  of  a  very  pleasant  counte- 
nance, and  very  plain  clothes,  and  forming 
a  striking  contrast  to  the  grim  complacency, 
and  the  iron-bound  civility,  of  the  two  men  in 
uniform. 

The  boaOs  crew  were  so  much  struck  with 
this  apparent  anomaly,  for  to  them,  any  thing 
in  the  civilian's  garb  to  come  near  an  office, 
and  that  officer  a  naval  one,  was  hardly  less  than 
portentous,  and  argued  the  said  civilian  to  be 
something  belonging  to  the  genus  homo  extra- 
ordinary— ^and  the  fat  specimen  in  the  boat 
with  the  port-admiraly  they  thought,  was  one 


RATTLIM,   "EWZ   REEFBE  S7 

of  the  Lords  of  the  Admiralty,  or  even  Mr. 
Croker  himself — the  notion  of  whose  dimly*- 
understood  attributes  was,  with  them,  of  a  truly 
magnificent  nature.  Whoever  this  person  was, 
he  was  carefully  assisted  up  the  side  of  our 
ship,  and  remained  on  board  for  about  an  hour, 
whilst  we  were  burning  with  curiosity  and 
eagerness  to  be  on  board  to  satisfy  it,  and 
forced  to  do  our  best  to  allay  this  tantalizing 
paseioD,  by  hauling  along  tallied  bights  of  rope, 
and  rousing  old  hawsers  out,  and  new  hawsers 
into  the  boat — a  more  pleasant  employment 
may  be  easily  imagined  for  a  raw,  cold,  misty 
day  in  winter. 

I  regarded  all  these  operations  very  sapiently, 
knowing  as  yet  nothing  of  the  uses,  or  even  of 
the  names,  of  the  different  stores  that  I  was 
delivering  and  receiving.  The  boatswain  was 
with  me  of  course :  but  notwithstanding  that 
I  had  positive  orders  not  to  let  the  men  stray 

away  from  the  duty  they  were  performing — as 

■f 

this  official  told  me,  after  we  had  done  almost 
every  thing  that  we  had  come  on  shore  to  per- 
form, that  he  must  borrow  two  of  the  men  to 


anchor  to  the  spanker-boom-end,  w 
should   happen  to  be   too  much  d 
stern — I  could  not  refuse  to  disobej 
upon  a  contingency  so  urgent.    Ai 
left  me,  for  about  two  hours,  8biv< 
boat;  and,  at  length,  he  and  the 
down,  with  very  little  white  line  ii 
for  his  not  very  white  lie ;  and  truly 
been  bousing  up  something ;  for  Hi 
the  respectable  boatswain,  told  mtf 
condescension,  that  he  was  a  real  offi 
I  was  nothing  but  a  living  walkings 
the  captain  to  swear  at  when  he  wai 
humour ;  and  that  he  had  no  doubt  I 
should  get  mast-headed  when  I  got 
for  allowing  those  two  men,  who  wen 
crabs,  to  get  so  drunk. 


q:«-ii- 


•  1 


RATTLIK,  THE   REEFBR.  39 

the  service,  I  yery  well  understood  that  the 
care  of  the  men,  as  respected  their  behaviour 
and  sobriety,  devolved  on  me,  the  ddivering  of 
old,  and  the  drawing  of  new  stores,  on  the  boat* 
swain ;  yet,  for  the  conduct  of  those  men  that 
he  took  from  under  my  eye,  I  felt  that,  in 
justice,  he  was  answerable.  I  therefore  made 
BO  reply  to  the  vauntings  and  railings  of  Mr. 
Loshby,  but  had  determined  how  to  act*  The 
boat  came  alongside.  There  was  nobody  on 
board  but  the  officer  of  the  watch,  and  Mr. 
Lushby  tumbled  up  the  side  and  down  the 
waist  in  double-quick  time,  sending  the  chief 
boatswain^s  mate  and  the  yeoman  of  the  stores 
to  act  as  his  deputy.  He  certainly  did  his 
duty  in  that  respect,  as  two  sober  deputies 
are  worth  more  than  is  a  drunken  principal. 

However,  I  walked  into  the  gun-room  to 
report  mysdf  and  boat  to  the  first  lieutenant 
The  officers  were  at  their  wine.  I  was  flattered 
and  surprised  at  the  frank  politeness  of  my 
reception,  and  the  welcome  looks  that  I  received 
from  aU.  I  was  invited  to  sit,  and  a  glass 
placed  for  me.    When  I  found  myself  tolerably 


-.   ..wxv.li  X  uiu  noi  iiie 
and    putting  a   little  wilful   sim 
manner,  I  asked  with  a  great  de. 
innocence,  if  all  the  sailors  caugi 
tbiey  were  drunk. 

.<<  Catch    crabs,    Mr.    Battlin 
Fanner,    smiling.    **  Not   ahmj 
are  sure  to  catch  something  worse^ 

"  With  white  line — how  strai^ 
purposely  misunderstanding  the 
oer.     "  Now  I  know  why  Mr.  I 
up  the  two  men — and  why  all 
down  in   a  state  to  catch  crabs, 
that   white    line  had   something 
it.'' 

**  Yes,  Mr.  Rattlin,  white  line 
Farmer  then  motioned  me  to  st 
waS)  took  up  his  hat.  and  w«-** 


just  turned  his  cabin  into  a  8nuggiery,>^diid 
had  taken  another  ronnd  turn,  with  a  belay 
ofer  all^  in  the  shape*  of  two  more  glassed 
of .  half-and-half «  When  he  found  himself  on 
the  quarter-deck,  though  the  shades  of  evening 
were  stealing  oyer  the  waters,  (I  like  a  poeti- 
cal phrase  now  and  then,)  he  saw  more  than 
ib  broad  daylight— that  is  to  say,  he  saw  many 
irst  lieutenants,  who  seemed,  with  many 
wrathful  countenances,  with  many  loud  words, 
to  order  many  men  to  see  him  down  many 
ladders,  safely  to  his  cabin. 

The  next  morning  this  **  real  officer^'  found 
himself  in  a  very  uncomfortable  plight ;  for, 
with  an  aching  head,  he  was  but  too  happy  to 
escape  with  a  most  stinging  reprimand:  and 
he  had  the  consolation  then  to  learn,  that, 
had  he  not  endeavoured  to  play  upon  the 
nmpUcUy  of  Mr.  Rattlin,  he  would  most 
surely  have  escaped  the  fright  and  the  expo- 
sure* 

The  simplicity  I 

Now,  I  have  mentioned  this  trifling  incident, 
iBcarely  to  show  how  easy  it  is  for  a  youth  just 


'.'ti 


48 


RATTUNi  THB   RBBF1R« 


entered,  by  a  little  manoeuvring,  to  make  it 
a  very  dangerous  thing  to  play  tricks  upon 
him,  avoiding  on  the  one  hand,  the  odium  of 
tale-bearer,  and,  on  the  other,  that  ultima  ration 
of  kings  as  well  as  midshipmen,  war,  in  the 
repelling  of  insult.  * 


BATTLUf,  TBI  BBBRK. 


48 


CHAPTER  IV. 


Another  mystery — all  oTeijoyed  because  the  Eos  is 
under  weigh;  she  works  well — ^through  the  water — 
her  oflBcers  through  their  wine— Ralph  refraineth,  and 
self  glorifieth — a  long  shore  man  makes  a  shor^  stay 
on  board —because  he  won't  go  on  the  wrong  tack. 


But  I  must  dow  explain  why  I  had  become  so 
suddenly  a  favourite  in  the  ward-room.  The 
▼ery  stout  gentleman,  who  came  o£P  with  the 
admiral  and  captain,  undertook  the  aquatic 
excursion  on  my  account.  He  made  every 
inquiry  as  to  my  equipment,  my  messmates,  and 
my  chance  of  comfort.  Yet  I,  the  person  most 
concerned,  was  sent  out  of  the  way,  lest  by 
accident  I  should  meet  with  him.     I    never 


44  RATTLIN,  THE  &EEraa« 

knew  who  he  was,  nor  do  I  think  the  captain 
did.  My  shipmates  had  their  conjectures,  and 
I  had  mine.  They  took  him  to  be  what  is 
usually  called,  not  a  person,  but  a  personage. 
I  believe  that  he  was  nothing  more  than  a 
personage's  fat  steward,  or  some^other  menial 
obesity — for  it  was  very  plain  that  he  was 
ashamed  to  look  me  in  the  face  !  and  I  under* 
stand  he  gave  himself  many  second-hand  airs. 
If  now  living,  I  hope  this  may  meet  his  eye. 

And  now  we  are  off  in  earnest.  The  Nore- 
light  is  passed ;  the  pilot  is  on  the  hammock 
nettings.  The  breeze  takes  the  sails,  the  noble 
frigate  bends  to  it,  as  a  gallant  cavalier  gently 
stoops  to  receive  the  kiss  of  beauty — the  blocks 
rattle  as  the  ropes  fly  through  them — the  sdb 
court  the  wind  to  their  embrace,  now  on  one 
side,  now  on  the  other.  I  stand  on  the  quarter* 
deck,  in  silent  admiration  at  the  astonishing 
effects  of  this  wonderful  seeming  confusion.  I 
am  pushed  here,  and  ordered  there  —  I  now 
jump  to  avoid  the  eddy  of  the  uncurling  ropes 
as  they  fly  upwards,  but  my  activity  is  vain, 
a  brace  now  drags  across  my  shins,  and  noW 


JIATTIiIH,  THE   REBFBR.  45 

the  bight  of  a  lee-spanker-brail  salutes  me^  not 
lovingly,  across  the  face.  The  captain  and 
i^c^rs  are  yiewiog  the  gallant  vessel  with 
intense  anxiety,  and  scrutinizing  every  evolution 
that  she  is  making.  How  does  she  answer  her 
helm  P  Beautifully.  "Wliat  le&-way  does  she 
make?  Scarce  perceptible.  The  log  is  hove 
repeatedly  —  seven,  seven  and  a  half,  dose 
hauled..  Stand  by,  the  captain  is  going  to  w<Hrk 
her  himsdf.  She  advances  head  to  the  wind 
bravely,  like  a  British  soldier  to  the  breach — 
she  is  about !  she  has  stayed  within  her  own 
length — she  has  not  lost  her  way  !  ^^  Noble  1 
excellent  1*^  is  the  scarcely  suppressed  cry ;  and 
then  arose  in  the  minds  of  that  gallant  band  of 
officers  visions  of  an  enemy  wortliy  to  cope 
with  ;  of  the  successful  manoeuvre,  the  repeated 
broadsides,  the  struggle  and  the  victory ;  their 
lives,  their  honour,  and  the  fame  of  their 
country  they  now  willingly  repose  upon  her<— 
she  is  at  once  their  home,  their  field  of  battle, 
and  their  arena  of  glory.  See  how  well  she 
behaves  against  that  head  sea  !  There  is  not  a 
man  in  that  noble  fabric  who  has  not  adopted 


sea  in  his  gilded  gondola,  ermined  n 
stand  near,  and  jewelled  beauty  aroi 
religion  too  may  lend  her  overpowerin 
ties; — but  all  this  display  could  im 
the  enthusiasm  of  that  moming,  w 
three  hundred  true  hearts  wedded  the 
that  beauty  of  the  sea,  the  Eos,  as  i 
round  the  North  Foreland  into  the  I 

The  frigate  behaved  so  admirably 
evolutions,  that,  when  we  dropped 
the  roadstead,  the  captain,  to  certi 
miration  and  pleasure,  invited  all 
room  officers  to  dine  with  him,  i 
three  or  four  midshipmen,  mysdf  f 
rest. 

It  was  an  animated  scene,  that  dii 
The  war  was  then  raging.    Seven 


BJLTSU»,  THE   BBBFER.  47 


them.  As  yet,  no  one  knew  our 
We  had  every  stimulant  to  honourable  exdte- 
menty  and  mystery  threw  over  the  whole  that 
abaorbfaig  charm,  that  impels  us  to  love  and  to 
woo  the  unknown. 

But  this  meeting,  at  first  so  rational,  and 
then  so  conyivial,  at  length  permitted  its  con- 
viviality to  destroy  its  rationality.    Men  who 
spoke  and  thought  like  heroes  <me  hour,  the 
next  spoke  what  they  did  not  thmk,  and  made 
me  think  what  I  did  not  speak.    No  one  got 
drunk  except  the    purser,    who  is  always  a 
privileged  person ;  yet  they  were  not  the  same 
men  as  when  they  began  their  carouse,  nor  I  the 
same  boy  when  they  had  finished  it.     On  that 
evening  I  made  a  resolution  never  to  touch 
ardent  spirits*  and,  whilst  I  was  in  the  navy, 
that  resolution  I  adhered  to.     It  is  a  fact — I 
am  known  to  too  many,  to  make,  on  this  subject, 
a  solemn  assertion  falsely.     I  did  not  lay  the 
same  restriction  on  wine — yet,   even   that  I 
always  avoided,  when  I  could  do  so  without  the 
appearance  of  affectation.     My  reason,  such  as 
it  was,  never  in  the  slightest  degree  tottered  on 


48  &ATTLIN,   THE   aSEFSR. 

ber  throne,  either  with  a  weakness  or  a  strength 
not  ber  own.  The  wine-cup  never  gladdened 
or  sorrowed  me.  Even  when  the  tepid,  foetid, 
and  animalized  water,  was  served  out  to  us  in 
quantities  so  minute,  that  our  throats  could 
count  it  by  drops,  I  never  sought  to  qualify  its 
nauseous  taste,  or  increase  its  quantity,  by  the 
addition  of  spirits,  when  spirits  were  more 
plentiful  than  the  much-courted  water.  This 
trait  proves,  if  it  proves  nothing  else,  that  I  bad 
a  good  deal  of  that  inflexibility  of  character, 
which  we  call  in  others  obstinacy,  when  we 
donH  like  it,  firmness  when  we  do— in  ourselves, 
always,  decision. 

And  all  my  messmates, — where  are  they  ?  I 
shall  not  quote  the  trite  phrase  and  say,  '*  Echo 
answers,  *  where,^''  which,  by-the-by,  must  have 
been  an  Irish  sort  of  echo ;  but  my  echo  shall, 
as  echoes  usually  do,  repeat  the  last  two 
syllables,  and  by  a  question,  answer,  *'  Are 
they  ?^  It  is  a  melancholy  question — and  I 
must  answer,  "  Alas !  I  know  not.""  Indeed, 
after  the  lapse  of  five-and-twenty  years,  we  can 


BJ^^nruN,  THE  VBMmu  40 

pat  the  questiaii  ta  oundTes  only  with  heafi* 
new  upon  our  faearts.  Yet  iome  there  aie^  bat 
how  many  more  that  are  not  I 
.  Tempm  edax  rerum.  I  deny  the  aseertion. 
The  old  mumUer  is  continually  defrauded. 
How  &w  are  there  of  those  gallant  fellows 
who  will  fall  ripe  into  his  gumless  jaws !  Food 
for  Time!  Alas!  they  have  been  food  for 
abnost  everything  else.  ^^Food  for  powdn*, 
food  for  powder,^  according  to  honest  Jack,  as 
many  of  them  have  been  I  some  have  been  food 
for  another  Jack,  whose  prefix  is  yeUow.  More 
than  one  have  been  food  for  sharks.  Yes, 
Time  has  been  defrauded  of  them,  and  they  of 
time.  How  many  have  been  buried  in  the 
seal 

When  at  the  last  trumpet  they  shall  arise 
from  the  vast  and  blue  depths,  and  they  shake 
from  them  the  salt  wave,  may  it  wash  away 
with  it  one  half  of  their  sins — and  in  the  bene- 
ficence of  the  Creator  they  may  fearlessly  trust 
for  the  remission  of  the  other ;  for  who  among 
them,  through  a  wild  life,  has  not  suffered  in 
the  performance  of  a  hard,  and  died  in  the  ex- 

voL.  II.  n 


there  is  one,  the  best,  the  most  in 
The  past  and  the  present  glory  of  thi 
for  which  they  have  died.     This  ca 
taken  from  them.    Even  should  Eiif 
to  the  general  law  that  destroys  men 
empires^  or  fall  to  pieces  by  intem 
still  the  glory  of  the  past  is  theirs  ii 
May  England  ever  foster  and  honoui 
and  while  she  does,  though  her  pro8[ 
fluctuate,  independence  and    superi< 
never  leave  her  ship-def^ded  shores. 
I  give  the  incident  that  I  am  about 
to  ahow  in  what  way,  five^d-twenty  3 
a  man-of-war  was  made  the  alternative 
and  to  prove,  generally  speaking,  oC  v 
use  this  kind  of  recruiting  was  to  tbi 
and,  as  it  made  a  great  impression  on 


RATTLIN,   THE   REEFER.  51 

mate  destination  being  still  a  profound  secret. 
As  we  proceeded^  when  we  were  off  a  part  of 
the  coast,  the  name  of  which  I  do  not  remem* 
ber,  about  noonday  it  fell  calm,  and  the  tide 
being  against  us,  we  neared  the  shore  a  little, 
and  came  to  an  anchor.  We  had  not  remained 
long  in  our  berth  before  we  descried  a  shore 
boat  pulling  off  to  us,  which  shortly  came 
alongside,'  with  a  very  singular  cargo  of  animals, 
bdon^ng  to  the  genus  homo.  In  the  stern 
sheets  sate  a  magistrate's  clerk,  swelling  with 
importance.  On  the  after  thwart,  and  facing 
the  Jack  in  office,  were  placed  two  constables, 
buHt  upon  the  regular  Devonshire,  chaw-bacon 
niodd,  holding  upright  between  their  legs  each 
an  immense  staff,  headed  by  the  gilded  initials  of 
our  sovereign  lord  the  King. 

Seated  between  these  imposing  pillars  of  the 
state,  sate  in  tribulation  dire,  a  tall,  awkward 
young  man,  in  an  elaborately-worked  white 
smockfrock,  stained  with  blood  in  front  and 
upon  the  shoulders.  He  was  the  personification 
of  rural  distress.  He  blubbered  i  pleine  voix, 
and  lifted,  up  and  lowered  his  hand-cuffed  wrists 

d2 


52  RATTLIN,   TH£   REBFBR. 

with  a  seesaw  motion  really  quite  pathedcal. 
Though  the  wind  had  fallen,  yet  the  tide  was 
running  strongly,  and  there  was  a  good  deal  of 
sea,  quite  enough  to  make  the  motion  in  the 
boat  very  unpleasant.  As  they  held  on  along- 
side  by  the  rope,  the  parties  in  the  stem  sheets 
began  bobbing  at  each  other,  the  staves  lost  and 
resumed,  and  then  lost  again,  their  perpendi« 
cular<— so  much  indeed,  as  to  threaten  the  head 
of  the  clerk,  whose  countenance  '*  b^^  to  pak 
its  effectual  fire.^  The  captain  and  many  of 
the  officers  looking  over  the  gangway,  the  fol- 
lowing dialogue  ensued,  commenced  by  the 
officer  of  the  watch.     **  Shore-boat,  ho-hoy  f 

*^  In  the  name  of  the  king,^  replied  the  derk, 
between  many  minacious  hiccoughs,  and  pro- 
ducing a  piece  of  paper,  **  I  have  brought  you 
a  volunteer^  to  serve  in  his  majesty^s  fleet;'* 
pointing  to  the  blubberer  in  the  smockfrock. 

"  Well,'*  said  the  captain,  « knock  oft'  his 
irons,  and  hand  him  up.^ 

"  Dare  not,  sir — as  much  as  my  life  is  worth; 
The  most  ferocious  poacher  in  the  country. 
Has  nearly  beaten  in  the  scull  of  the  squire^s 
head  gamekeeper." 


RATTLIN,   THB  AEEFBR.  53 

''Just  the  sort  of  man  we  want,^  said  the 
captain.  **But  you  see  he  can^t  get  up  the 
side  with  his  hands  fast ;  and  I  presume  you 
cannot  be  in  much  danger  from  the  volunteer, 
whilst  you  have  two  such  staves  held  by  two 
such  constables/' 

*' Yes,"  said  the  now  seriously  affected  clerk ; 
'*I  do  not  think  that  I  incur  much  danger 
from  the  malefactor,  since  I  am  under  the  pro- 
tection of  the  guns  of  the  frigate.^  So,  some- 
what re-assured  by  this  reflection,  the  brigand 
of  the  preserves  was  unmanacled,  and  the  whole 
party,  clerk,  constables,  and  prisoner,  came  up 
the  side,  and  made  their  appearance  on  the 
break  of  the  quarter-deck. 

But  this  was  not  effected  without  much  diffi- 
culty, and  some  loss,  a  loss  that  one  of  the  par- 
ties must  have  bewailed  to  his  dying  day,  if  it 
did  not  actually  hasten  that  awful  period.  One 
of  the  constables  in  ascending  the  side,  let  fall 
his  staff,  his  much-loved  staff,  dear  to  him  by 
many  a  fond  recollection  of  riot  repressed,  and 
evil  doer  apprehended,  and  away  it  went,  float- 
ing with  the  tide,  far,  far  astern.    His  unmiti- 


than  did  the  late  keeper  of  his  co 
the  loss  of  the  seals,  the  more  espec 
magistrate's  clerk  refused  to  permit 
goTin  pursuit  of  it,  not  ivishingtheoi 
ing  link  between  bim  and  the  shore  i 
removed  from  his  control. 


RATTUN,  THE  aSEFBR. 


55 


CHAPTER  V. 

The  volunteer  and  his  fate^  showing  how  a  great  rogue, 
notwithstanding  that  he  may  appear  to  be  bora  to  be 
huzig,  will  sometimes  happen  to  drown. 


Thb  group  on  the  quarter-deck  was  singular 
and  ludicrous.  Reuben  Gubbins,  for  such  was 
the  name  of  the  offender,  was  the  only  son  of  a 
small  farmer,  who,  it  appeared,  had  even  gone 
the  length  of  felony,  by  firing  upon  and  wound- 
ing the  gamekeeper  of  the  lord  of  the  manor. 
He  was  quite  six  feet  high,  very  awkwardly 
built,  and  wore  under  his  frock  a  long-tailed 
blue  coat,  dingy  buckskin  nether  garments,  and 
top*boots,  with  the  tops  tanned  brown  by  ser- 
vice.    His  countenance  betrayed  a  mixture  of 


56  RATTLIN,  TH£  EB£P£R; 

simplicity,  ignorance,  and  strong  animal  instinct 
He  was  the  least  suited  being  that  could  be 
possibly  conceived  of  whom  to  make  a  sailor. 
His  limbs  had  been  long  stiffened  by  rustic 
employments,  and  he  had  a  dread  of  the  sea,  and 
of  a  man-of-war,  horrifying  to  his  imagination. 
In  this  dread  it  was  very  evident  that  his  com- 
panions largely  participated,  not  excepting  the 
pragmatical  clerk.  The  constable  with  the 
staff,  and  the  constable  without,  ranged  them* 
selves  on  either  side  of  the  still  sobbing  Arca- 
dian. Indeed,  the  staffless  man  seemed  to  be 
but  little  less  overcome  than  the  prisoner.  He 
felt  as  if  all  strength,  value,  and  virtue,  had 
gone  out  of  him  ;  and  ever  and  anon  he  glared 
upon  the  baton  of  his  brother  officer  with  looks 
felonious  and  intent  on  rapine. 

The  business  was  soon  concluded.  Reuben, 
rather  than  see  himself  tried  for  his  life,  deter- 
mined to  make  trial  of  the  sea,  and  thus  be- 
came, perhaps,  the  most  unwilling  volunteer 
upon  record. 

Poor  fellow !  his  sufferings  must  have  been 
great !     The  wild  animal  of  the  forest,  when 


RATTinfy  THE  BSEFER*  57 

pining,  far  the  first  time,  in  a  cage,  or  the  weary 
land-bird,  blown  o£P,  far  away  upon  the  restless 
sea,  could  not  have  been  more  out  of  their  ele- 
ments than  tall  and  ungainly  Reuben  Gubbins 
on  the  deck  of  his  Majesty's  ship  Eos.  I  da 
not  know  how  it  was,  for  I  am  siure  that  I  ought 
to  have  despised  him  for  his  unmanly  and  inces- 
sant weeping,  I  knew  that  he  had  offended  the 
laws  of  his  country,  yet,  when  the  great  lout 
went  forward  disconsolately,  and  sat  himself 
down,  amidst  thie  derision  of  the  seamen,  upon 
a  gun-carriage  on  the  forecastle,  I  could  not 
hdp  going  and  dispersing  the  scoffers,  and  felt 
annoyingly  inclined  to  take  his  toil-embrowned 
hand,  sit  down  beside,  and  cry  with  him.  How- 
ever, I  did  not  so  far  commit  myself.  But  a 
few  hours  afterwards  I  was  totally  overcome. 

Strict  orders  were  given  not  to  allow  Gub- 
bins to  communicate  with  any  one  from  the 
shore.  A  little  before  dusk,  there  was  a  boat 
ordered  by  the  sentinels  to  keep  off,  that  con- 
tained, besides  the  sculler,  a  respectable-look* 
ing  old  man,  and  a  tall,  stout,  and  rather  hand- 
some,  young  woman.    Directly  they  caught 

d6 


58  RATTLm,  THE  EBBFER. 

the  eye  of  Reuben,  he  exchdmed,  *^  Woundi- 
kins!  if  there  bean't  feyther  and  our  sister 
MoU.*^  And  running  aft,  and  putting  his  hat 
between  his  knees,  he  thus  addressed  the  officer 
of  the  watch,  **  Please  Mr.  Officer,  zur,  there  ^s 
feyther  and  our  Moll.** 

"  Well  r 

'*  Zur,  maynH  I  go  and  hare  my  cry  out  with 
'em,  for  certain  I  ha'  behaved  mortal  bad  P*** 

"  Against  orders.^ 

*^  But,  sure-ly,  you  11  let  him  come  up  to 
comfort  loike  his  undutiful  son.^ 

**  No,  no,  imposrible.^ 

"  Whoy,  lookee  there,  zur-— that's  feyther 
with  the  white  hair,  and  that 's  sister  crying 
like  mad.     Ye  can  no'  ha'  the  hard  heart" 

**  Silence  !  and  go  forward." 

I  looked  over  the  side,  and  there  I  saw  the 
old  man  standing  up  reverently,  with  his  hat 
in  one  hand,  and  a  bag,  apparently  full  of 
money,  in  the  other.  Undoubtedly,  the  simple 
yeoman  had  supposed  that  money  could  either 
corrupt  the  captain,  or  buy  off  the  servitude  of 
his  guilty  son.     It  was  a  fine  old  countenance. 


down  the  sides  of  whicb^  tbat .  silver  Jiair  hung 
so  patriarchally  and  gxacefully ;  and  there  that 
poor  old  man  stood^  bowipgia  his  wretchedness 
and  bis  bereavement,  with  bis  money  extended, 
to  every  .officer  that  he  could  catch  a  glimpse 
o^  as  his  hat  or  head  appeared  above  the  ham- 
mock nettings  or  the  bulwarks.  The  grief  of 
his  sister  waa  common-place  and  vi<dent;  but 
there  was  a  depth  and  a  dignity  in  that  of  the 
old  roan  that  went  to  my  very  heart.  I  could 
not  help  going  up  to  the  lieutenant  and  entreat- 
ing  him  to  grant  the  interview. 

^^  It  won^t  do,  Mr.  Rattlin.  DonH  you  know 
that  the  fellow  was  put  on  board  with  C.  P. 
before  his  name?  I  anticipate  what  you  are 
going  to  say,  but  humanity  is  a  more  abstract 
thing  than  you  are  aware  of,  and  orders  must 
be  obeyed.'' 

<'  But,  zur,"  said  Oubbins,  who  had  again 
approached,  *^  I  can  see  that  feyther  has  forgi'en 
me,  and  he 's  the  mon  I  ha'  most  wronged  arter 
all.  Besides  sistur  wuU  break  her  heart  if  she 
doan't  say  *  Good  bye,  Reuben' — ^if  feyther  has 
made  it  up,  sure  other  folk  mought  be  koind. 


the  gangway,  hailed  the  boat,  an( 
came  near  enough,  he  told  the  old  fan 
that  his  orders  to  prevent  personal  c 
tion  were  strict ;  that  any  parcel  or  k 
be  banded  up,  but  that  be  would  do 
let  bis  reprobate  sod  bave  any  monej 
this  short  conference,  Reuben  had  p 
self  within  sight  of  bis  relatives,  and 
words  of  "  My  father,'*  "  My  son, 
spite  of  all  orders,  exchanged  beti 
By  this  time  the  tide  bad  turned,  th 
riflen,  and  precisely  from  the  right  c 
the  bands  were  turned  up,  *^  up  ancl 
orders  for  the  boat  to  keep  ofip  wei 
iterated  in  a  manner  more  imperati 
still  bung  about  the  ship,  and  aftc 
making  way,  as  long  as  the  feeble  i 


« •     1  • . .« 


RATTLIN,    THE  REKraR.  61 

faifl  white  hair  hlown  about  by  the  wind,  to 
catch  a  last  glimpse  of  a  son  whom  he  was  des- 
tined to  see  no  more,  and  who  would  without 
doubt,  as  the  scripture  beautifully  and  tenderly 
expresses  it,  **  bring  his  grey  hairs  with  sorrow 
to  the  grave.^ 

Long,  long  after  the  stolid  and  sullen  son 
had  ceased,  apparently,  to  interest  himself 
about  the  two  that  were  struggling  after  us, 
in  their  really  frail  boat,  I  watched,  from  the 
taffrail,  the  vain  and  loving  pursuit;  indeed, 
until  the  darkness  and  the  rapidly-increasing 
distance  shrouded  it  from  my  view,  I  did  not 
leave  my  post  of  observation,  and  the  last  that 
I  could  discern  of  the  mourners,  still  showed 
me  the  old  man  standing  up,  in  the  fixed  atti- 
tude of  grief,  and  the  daughter  with  her  face 
bent  down  upon  her  knees.  To  the  last,  the 
boat'*s  head  was  still  towards  the  ship — a  touch- 
ing emblem  of  unswerving  fatherly  love. 

I  could  not  away  with  the  old  man^s  look, 
it  was  so  wretched,  so  helpless,  yet  so  fond — 
and  was  typed  to  my  fancy  so  strongly  by  his 
little  boat  pursuing  with  a  hopeless  constancy 


69  JIATTLIN^  THB  RBBIBR. 

over  waves  too  rough  for  il,  the  huge  mad  dis- 
r^arding  ship ;  8O9  with  my  breast  fuU»  even  to 
suffocation  with  nungkd  emotioBS,  I  weot  down 
to  my  berth,  and,  laying  my  head  upon  the 
table,  and  covering  my  face  with  my  hands, 
I  pretended  to  sleep.  The  cruel  torture  of 
that  half  hour  I  I  almost  thought  the  poacher, 
with  all  his  misery,  still  blessed  in  having  a 
fatlier^s  love — ^"twas  then  that  I  felt  intensdy 
the  agony  of  the  desertion  of  my  own  pac»t — 
the  love  that  hful  been  denied  to  me  to  give 
to  my  own  iather,  I  lavished  upon  the.  white- 
headed  old  man.  In  imagination,  I  returned 
with  him  to  his  desolate  home ;  I  supported 
his  tottering  steps  over  the  threshold,  no  longer 
musical  with  an  only  son.  I  could  fancy  my* 
self  placing  him  tenderly  and  with  reverence 
in  his  accustomed  chair,  and  speaking  the  words 
of  comfort  to  him  in  a  low  voice^  and  looking 
round  for  his  family  bible — and  the  sister, 
doubtless  she  had  many  sources  of  consolation ; 
youth  was  with  her — ^life  all  before  her— she 
had  companions,  friends,  perhaps  a  lover ;  but, 
— for  the  poor  old  man  !     At  that  moment,  I 


lUTTLIN^  THE  RBEFBR.  68 

would  have  given  up  dl  my  auticipatimis^  of 
the  splendid  cueer  that  I  fancied  I  was  to 
run^  in  order  to  have  gone  and  have  been  unto 
the  bereaved  sire  as  a  son,  and  to  have  fouad 
in  him  a  father. 

But  nobody  could  make  a  sailor  of  Reuben 
Oubbins,  and  Reuben  had  no  idea  of  making 
a  sailor  of  himself.  It  was  in  vain  that  the 
boatswain Vmate  docked  the  long  tails  of  his 
blue  coat,  (such  things  were  done  in  the  navy 
at  that  time,)  razeed  his  top-boots  into  sea- 
man^s  shoes,  and  that  he  had  his  smock-frock 
reduced  into  a  seaman^s  shirt.  The  soil  hung 
upon  him,  he  slouched  over  the  deck,  as  if  he 
were  walking  over  the  furrows  of  ploughed 
land,  and  looked  up  into  the  rigging  as  if  he 
saw  a  cock-pheasant  at  roost  upon  the  rattlins. 
Moreover,  he  could  talk  of  nothing  else  except- 
ing **  feyther,^  and  **  our  Moll,^  and  he  really 
ate  his  bread  (subintettige  biscuit)  moifstened 
with  his  tears,  (if  tears  can  moisten  such  flinty 
preparations,)  for  he  was  always  whimpering. 
For  the  sake  of  the  fit  of  romance  that  I  had 
felt  for  his  father,  I  took  some  kind  notice  of 


64  RATTLIN^   THE   RESFER. 

this  yokel  afloat.  I  believe,  as  much  as  it  lay 
in  his  nature,  he  was  grateful  for  it,  for  to 
every  one  else  on  board  he  was  the  constant 
butt. 

Mr.  Farmer,  our  first  lieutenant,  was  a  smart 
and  a  somewhat  exacting  officer.  He  used  to 
rig  the  smoke-sail  some  twelve  feet  high  across 
the  mizen  mast,  and  make  the  young  gentle- 
men just  caught,  and  the  boys  of  the  ship,  lay 
out  upon  it,  in  order  that  they  might  practise 
furling  after  a  safe  method.  At  first,  nothing 
could  persuade  Reuben  to  go  a  single  step  up 
the  rigging — not  even  the  ropers  end  of  the 
boatswain Vmate.  Now  this  delicacy  was  quite 
at  variance  with  Mr.  Farmer's  ideas ;  so,  in 
order  to  overcome  it  by  the  gentlest  means  in 
the  world,  Reuben  had  the  option  given  him 
of  being  flogged,  or  of  laying  out  on  the  smoke- 
sail  yard,  just  to  begin  with,  and  to  get  into 
the  way  of  it.  It  was  a  laughable  thing  to  see 
this  huge  clown  hanging  with  us  boys  upon 
the  thin  yard,  and  hugging  it  as  closely  as  if 
he  loved  it.  He  had  a  perfect  horror  of  get- 
ting to  the  end  of  it.    At  a  distance,  when 


RATTLIN,  TBK  lt2£PEtt.  65 

our  BinokeHsail  yard  was  manned^  we  looked 
like  a  parcel  of  larks  spitted,  with  one  great 
goose  in  the  midst  of  us.  **  Doey  get  beyond 
me,  zur;  doey,  Mr.  Rattlin,'^  he  would  say; 
**  Ah  !  zur,  I M  climb  with  any  bragger  in  this 
ship  for  a  rook^s  nest,  where  I  ha^  got  a  safe 
bough  to  stand  upon ;  but  to  dance  upon  this 
hare  se^wing  line,  and  to  call  it  a  horse  too, 
benH  christian  loike.^' 

But  his  troubles  were  soon  to  cease.  He 
was  made  a  waister,  iEuid,  at  furling  sails,  sta- 
tioned on  the  main  yard.  I  will  anticipate  a 
little  that  we  may  have  done  with  him.  The 
winter  had  set  in  severely,  with  strong  gales, 
and  much  frost  and  snow.  We  were  not  yet 
dear  of  the  chops  of  the  channel,  and  the  wea- 
ther became  sd  bad,  that  it  was  found  necessary 
to  lie  to  under  try  sails,  and  close-reefed  main- 
top-sail. About  two  bells  in  the  first  dog 
watch  the  first  lieutenant  decided  upon  furling 
the  main  sail.  Up  on  the  main  yard  Reuben 
was  forced  to  go ;  he  went  to  leeward,  and  the 
seamen,  full  of  mischief,  kept  urging  him  far- 
ther and  farther  away  from  the  bunt.     I  was 


66  RATTLIN,  THB  RBBFER.^ 

with  one  of  the  oldsters  in  the  maintop;  die 
maintop-sail  had  just  been  dose  reefed.  I  had 
a  full  view  of  the  lads  on  the  main  yard,  and 
the  terror  displayed  in  Reuben^s  oountenaaoe 
was  at  once  ludicrous  and  horrible*  It  was 
bitterly  cold,  the  rigging  was  stiffened  by  frost, 
and  the  cutting  north-east  wind  came  down 
upon  the  men  on  the  lee  yaidarm  out  of  the 
belly  of  the  topsail  with  tremendous  forces 
added  to  which,  the  ship,  notwithstanding  the 
pressure  of  the  last-mentioned  sail,  surged  vicv 
lently,  for  there  was  a  heavy  though  a  short 
sea.  The  farm^^s  son  seemed  to  be  gradually 
petrifying  with  fear :  he  held  on  upon  a  fold 
of  the  sail  instinctively,  without  at  all  assisting 
to  bundle  it  up.  He  had  rallied  all  his  ener- 
gies into  his  cramped  and  dutdiing  fingers. 
As  I  looked  down  upon  him,  I  saw  that  be 
was  doomed.  I  would  have  cried  out  for 
assistance,  but  I  knew  that  my  cry  would  have 
been  useless,  even  if  I  had  been  able,  through 
the  roar  of  the  winds  and  the  waters,  to  have 
made  it  heard. 

But  this  trying  situation  could  not  last  long. 


RATTUN,  THE  REEFBR.  67 

The  part  of  the  sail  on  which  Reuben  had  hungy 
with  what  might  be  truly  termed  his  death- 
dutchy  was  wanted  to  be  rolled  in  with  the 
furl,  and,  by  the  tenacity  of  his  grasp,  he  inu 
peded  the  operation. 

**  Rouse  up,  my  lads,  bodily,  to  windward,'^ 
roared  the  master*s-mate,  stationed  at  the  bunt 
of  the  sail. 

01'' 

**  Let  go,  you  lubber,**  said  the  sailor  next 
to  windward  of  Reuben,  on  the  yard. 

Reuben  was  now  so  lost,  that  he  did  not 
reply  to  the  man  even  by  a  look.  ^^  Now,  my 
lads,  now.  One,  two,  three,  and  a— ^**  Obe- 
dient  to  the  call  of  the  officer,  with  a  simulta- 
neous jerk  at  the  sail,  the  holdfast  of  the  stu- 
pified  peasant  was  plucked  from  his  cracking 
fingers ;  he  fell  back  with  a  loud  shriek  from 
the  yard,  struck  midway  on  the  main  rigging, 
and  thence  bounding  far  to  leeward  in  the  sea, 
disappeared,  and  for  ever,  amid  the  white  froth 
of  the  curling  wave  that  lapped  him  up 
greedily.  He  never  rose  again.  Perhaps,  in 
her  leeway,  the  frigate  drifted  over  him — and 
thus  the  violated  laws  of  his  country  were 


B«4»a 


68 


RATTLIK,  THE  REEFBft. 


avenged.  I  must  confess,  that  I  felt  a  good 
deal  shocked  at  the  little  sensation  this  (to  me) 
tragical  event  occasioned.  But  we  get  used 
to  these  things,  in  this  best  of  all  possible 
.worlds ;  and  if  the  poacher  died  unwept,  un- 
prayed,  unknelled  for,  all  that  can  be  said  of 
the  matter  is — that  many  a  better  man  has  met 
with  a  worse  fate. 


RATTUN,   THE   KBBFBA. 


69 


CHAPTER  VI. 

Symptoms  of  sickness,  not  of  the  sea,  but  of  the  land  be- 
yond it — Our  M.D.  wishes  to  write  D.  I.  O.,  and  pre- 
pares accordingly. — ^Ralph  is  about  to  reap  his  first  marine 
laurels  on  the  rocks  of  Cove. 

I  DO  not  get  on  with  this  life  at  ail.  The  vast 
Atlantic,  with  its  tranquil  and  tempestuous 
wonders,  the  new  world,  venerable  in  its  natural 
antiquities,  and  the  Mediterranean,  in  all  the 
extent  of  its  classic  shores,  are  before  me,  and 
I  have  not  yet  reached  the  Cove  of  Cork.  Clap 
on  more  sail.  It  is  bitterly  cold,  however,  and 
here  we  are  now  safely  moored  in  one  of  the 
petals  of  the  ^*  first  flower  of  the  sea.^ 

In  making  this  short  passage,  Captain  Reud 
was  very  affable  and  communicative.   He  could 


..^,  viaiis  lo  iTipoli,  and  c 

ing  spots  on  the  African  coast ; 
voluptuous  city  of  Palermo,  wit 
ladies  and  incessant  festivities,  he 
eloquent  as  could  reasonably  be  e 
a  smart  post-captain  of  four-and*tiN 

We  were  all  in  a  fooFs  paradise 
self,  I   was  enraptured.      I  was 
making  extracts  from  Horace,  Virg 
school-books,    that  I   still    carried 
which  referred,  in  the  least,  to  t 
that  we  were  at  all  likely  to  see. 
of  this  land  of  promise^  of  this  sea  i 
gaitle  waves  and. rich  prizes,  wer 
persed  before  a  sad  reality,  that,  i 
aid  of  the  biting  weather,  now  made 
ofBeers  and  men  look  blue,  as  8< 
anchors  had  nipped  thp  flwv*"**->  -^ 


RATTLIN,  THE   REEFER.  71 

The  sarcastic  glee  with  which  Captain  Reud 
rubbed  his  skinny^  yellow  hands,  when  he 
ordered  additional  soitries,  and  a  boat  to  row 
guard  round  the  ship  from  sunset  to  sunrise, 
weather  permitting,  to  prevent  desertion,  gave 
me  a  strong  impression  of  the  malignity  of  his 
disposition.  Certainly,  the  officers,  from  the 
first  lieutenant  downwards,  looked,  when  under 
the  influence  of  the  first  surprise,  about  as. sage 
as  we  may  conceive  did  those  seven  wise  men 
of  Gotham,  who  put  to  sea  in  a  bowl.  Some 
of  them  had  even  exchanged  into  the  ship,  for 
certain  unlawful  considerations,  because  she 
was  so  fine  a  frigate,  and  the  captain  possessed 
so  much  interest,  being  a  very  near  and  dear 
relation  of  the  then  treasurer  of  the  navy. 
With  this  interest  they  thought,  of  course,  that 
he  would  have  the  selection  of  his  own  station. 
And  so  he  had.  They  either  did  not  know, 
or  had  forgotten,  that  Captain  Reud  was  a 
West  Indian  Creole,  and  that  he  had  large  pa- 
trimonial estates  in  Antigua. 

*^  Not  loud  but  deep^  were  the  curses  in  the 
gun-room,   but   both   ^Moud  and  deep''  were 


19  RATTUN,  THE  RE£FEa« 

those  in  the  midshipmeD^s  berth,  for  the  de« 
nizens  thereof  were  never  proverbial  for  the 
niceties  of  their  expresdons,  when  the  appaU 
ling  certainty  broke  on  the  comminators,  of 
three  years^  roasting  in  the  West  Indies,  with 
accompaniments  of  misgivings  about  Yellow 
Jack,  and  the  palisades,  merely  because  the 
captain  wished  to  go  and  see  why  the  niggers 
did  not  make  quite  so  much  sugar  and  rum  u 
they  used  to  do.  But,  after  all,  we  had  a  sage 
ship's  company,  officers  included,  for  there  was 
scarcely  a  man  in  the  ship,  who,  after  our  des- 
tination was  ascertained,  did  not  say,  ^^  Well, 
I  thought  as  much ;"  and  they  derived  much 
consolation  from  the  consciousness  of  their  fore- 
sight. 

The  knowledge  of  our  station  had  a  most 
decided  effect  upon  two  of  our  officers,  the 
master  and  surgeon;  the  former  of  whom,  a 
weather-beaten,  old  north-countryn^an,  who 
had  been  all  his  life  knocking  about  the  north 
sea,  and  our  channels  at  home,  immediately 
gave  himself  up  for  lost.  He  made  his  will, 
took  a  decidedly  serious  turn,  and  came  into 


RATTLIN,  THE   REBFER.  78 

the  midshipmen^s  berth  with  a  case  bottle  of 
rum  under  one  arm,  and  a  Bible  under  the 
other,  in  order  to  see  if  he  could  not  establish 
a  sort  of  periodical  prayer-meeting.  He  was 
made  heartily  welcome ;  but,  as  we  occupied  so 
much  time  in  properly  discussing  the  prelimina- 
ries, we  did  not  even  open  the  principal  subject, 
which  he  perceiving,  came  next  day  with  the 
Bible  only ;  and  then,  never  was  there  a  set  of 
young  gentlemen  more  assiduous  in  their  duties. 
Those  whose  watch  it  was  on  deck,  though  we 
were  safely  moored,  could  not  think  of  being 
off  their  posts,  notwithstanding  the  inclemency 
of  the  weather  ;  and  those  who  had  the  middle 
and  first  watches,  were  anxious  to  turn  in, 
that  they  might  relieve  punctually,  and  in  an 
officer-like  manner,  when  it  should  be  their 
turn  to  be  on  deck.  One  very  devout  young 
gentleman  told  Mr.  Shields,  for  that  was  the 
master^s  name,  that  he  thought  it  very  impious 
for  any  one  to  read  the  Bible,  excepting  either 
in  church  or  on  Sundays,  without  such  reader 
were  a  parson. 

This  second  attempt  of  the  good  man  closed 

VOL.    II.  B 


tififx 


74  EATTLIN,   THB   EEBFER. 

the  subject.  Whether  his  fit  of  devotion  wore 
off,  or  his  attachment  to  the  bottle  increased^ 
I  cannot  say ;  but  it  is  certain,  that  his  nose 
grew  daily  more  red,  and  we  heard  nothing 
more  of  prayer-meetings,  after  Mr.  Shidds  had 
got  over  the  first  quizzing  upon  the  matter. 
I  must  do  him  also  the  justice  to  state,  that, 
the  very  evening  after  his  devotional  fEolure, 
when  his  piety  was,  by  the  marine  officer,  very 
illiberally  ascribed  to  his  fears,  Mr.  Shields, 
over  his  fourth  glass  of  half-and-half,  asserted, 
with  an  imprecation  that  might  well  have  split 
a  deal  board,  that  he  was  moved  to  his  sancti- 
monious undertaking  solely  by  his  care  for 
the  welfare  of  the  puir  souls  of  the  benighted 
and  scripture-denying  young  ne'er-do-wells, 
and  swearing  blackguards ;  meaning,  of  course, 
my  very  respectable  self,  and  my  mucb-to-be- 
respected  messmates.  Now,  I  would  not  have 
it  thought  that  there  was  anything  approach- 
ing to  pusillanimity  in  the  conduct  and  deport- 
ment of  this  hard-a-weather  sailor,  for  a  braver 
man  never  carried  a  ship  into  action  ;  but  he 
bad  a  great  predilection    for   Northumbrian 


SATTLIN,  THE   REEFER.  75 

worms ;  and,  as  he  bdieved  all  his  ancestors 
had  been^^from  time  immemorial,  decorously  de- 
voured by  them,  he  thought  it  something  inde- 
cent, shocking,  and  profsme,  that  he,  the  last 
of  the  Shields,  should  be  macerated  by  the 
unholy-looking  mandibles  of  land-crabs,  a  spe- 
cies of  animal  that  he  could  nowhere  find  men- 
tioned in  the  Bible.  Moreover,  he  knew  that 
all  flesh  was  grass ;  and,  as  he  had  been  cre- 
dibly informed,  that  persons  dying  in  the  West 
Indies  were  always  buried  in  the  sands,  he 
thought  it,  in  some  way,  flying  in  the  face 
of  Providence;  for  he  asserted  that,  how- 
ever fructifying  his  body  might  be,  there,  at 
least,  it  would  never  again  turn  to  grass.  He 
had  no  great  objection  to  dying,  in  a  general 
way,  for  he  had  a  vile  shrew  of  a  wife,  who, 
it  was  plain,  had  no  intention  of  dying  her- 
self ;  but  he  objected  strongly,  for  the  above- 
mentioned  reasons,  to  dying  at  Port  Royal,  and 
at  having  his  obsequies  performed  within  the 
palisades. 

But  there  was  another  person,  who  viewed 
the  West  India  station  not  religiously  like  our 

e2 


76  RAttLlW,  1-ffE  KBEFfia* 

master,  or  joybusly  Uke  our  tatptaio,  or  gmiife- 
bUngly  like  the  marine  officer,  or  detpitefolly 
like  all  the  lieutenanta,  or  detestably  like  my 
messmates,  or  indifferently  like  myself.  He 
took  the  matter  into  consideration  discreetly, 
and  so,  in  order  to  enjoy  a  long  life,  he  inconti- 
nently fell  sick  unto  death.  Of  course  be  knew, 
more  than  any  man  cm  board,  how  ill  he  was, 
for  he  was  the  doctor  himself.  He  was  not 
merely  a  naval  surgeon,  but  a  regular  M.  D., 
and  with  an  English  diploma.  He  could  ap- 
preciate, as  much  as  any  man,  the  value  of  life, 
and  hard  indeed  did  he  struggle  to  preserve  the 
means  of  prolonging  it.  He  was  a  short, 
round,  and  very  corpulent  person,  vdth  a 
monstrously  large  and  pleasantly 4ooking  face, 
with  a  very  high  colour-— a  colour,  not  the  fludi 
of  intemperance,  but  the  glow  of  genuine  health. 
This  vast  physiognomy  was  dug  all  over  with 
holes;  not  merely  pock-marks,  but  pock-pits. 
Indeed,  his  countenance  put  you  in  mind  of  a 
vast  tract  of  gravelly  soil  on  a  sunny  day,  dug 
over  with  holes ;  it  was  so  red,  so  cavernous, 
and  withal,  so  bright.     I  need  not  mention  that 


&ATTUN,  THE  JRKBPfiR.  77 

he  was  a  bom  trivmUtAmoAt  joyouAt  yet  a  most 
discreet  one.  Even  od  board  of  ship  he  con- 
trived to  make  his  fareakfasts  dinners,  his  din- 
ners feasts,  and  his  suppers,  though  light, 
ddicacies.  He  was  no  mean  proficient  in  the 
culinary  art,  and  as  refined  a  gourmand  as  the 
dear  departed  Dr.  Kitchener— -a  man,  to  whose 
honour  I  have  a  great  mind  to  devote  an 
episode,  and  would  do  so,  were  not  my  poor 
shipmate.  Dr.  Thompson,  just  now  waiting  for 
me  to  rdieve  him  from  his  illness. 

No  sooner  did  our  clever  medical  attendant 
understand  his  destination,  than  he  sent  away 
his  plate  untouched  at  dinner — refused  his 
wine— talked  movingly  of  broken  constitutions, 
a  predisposition  to  anasarca,  and  the  deceitful 
and  dangerous  appearances  of  florid  health. 
At  supper,  he  pronounced  himself  a  lost  man, 
held  out  his  brawny  fist  to  whomsoever  would 
choose  to  feel  his  pulse,  and  sent  for  the  first 
assistant-surgeon  to  make  him  up  a  tremen- 
dous quantity  of  prescriptions,  to  be  exhibited 
the  ensuing  night — to  whatever  fish  might  be 
so  unfortunate  as  to  be  swimming  alongside. 


^.,  our  junior  luff,  was  lo 

plaints  of  being,  what  he  called 
ped ;   when    Dr.    Thompson,   ii 
tremulous  voice,   read  him  a  k 
patriotism,  ob^enoe  to  the  die 
and  self-devotion,  finishing  thus:— 
show  me  the  man  that  flinches  fr 
and  I  'U  show  you,  whatever  ma 
ward  bearing,  a  craven  at  heart 
ill— I  feel  that  I  am  fast  sinking  i 
ture  grave — but  what  of  that  P 
but  too  happy  if  I  could  make  my  < 
gles  subservient  to  my  country.    M 
Farmer — Mr.  Wade,  this  poor  too 
contains  an  insidious  enemy— a  stnu 
ful,  and  a  wasting  disease.    It  is  v 
the  sake  of  medical  science,  for  i 
good,  for  the  hcftl*^  *"'  ^^ 


RATTLIN,  THB   REEFER.  79 

operators,  viewed  by  the  most  inteUigent  of  the 
faculty,  and  thus  another  light  be  placed  on 
the  present  dark  paths  of  curative  knowledge. 
My  symptoms  are  momentarily  growing  worse. 
G^itlemen,  messmates,  friends,  I  must  leave  you 
for  the  night,  and  too  soon,  I  fear,  for  ever ; 
but  never  shirk  your  duty.  If  they  be  the  last 
words  that  I  shall  utter  to  you  —  humble 
though  I  be — I  may  venture  to  hold  myself  up 
to  you  as  a  pattern  of  self-devotion.  God  bless 
you  all — good  night— and  never  shirk  your 
duty."* 

Of  course,  the  company  to  whom  this  was 
addressed,  were  infinitely  amused  at  this  dis- 
play, and  the  third  lieutenant  observed  moum- 
fuUy,  **  Now  there 's  no  chance  for  me.  The 
fat  rogue  is  going  to  invalide  himself.  I  sup- 
pose that  I  need  not  trouble  my  liver  to  be 
diseased  just  now,  for  the  hypocrite  won't  allow 
another  man  in  the  ship  to  be  sick  but  him- 
self.'* 

The  gentleman  guessed  rightly.  All  the 
nexf  day  Dr.  Thompson  kept  his  cot,  and  was 


^•^ 


80  ^^RttN;  "T&B  JtBraMu 

^uly  tep&Hied  to  the  eapiain  as  dangeroudy  ffl. 
Now,  our  first  lieutenant  was  a  ttoble,  frank, 
yet  sennble  and  shrewd  fellow,  and  the  captain 
was  as  i^iscbief-loring,  wicked  little  devil,  as 
ever  grinned  over  a  spiteful  frolic.  They  held 
a  consultation  upon  the  case,  and  soon  came  to 
a  more  decide^  opinion  on  it,  than  the  gentle- 
men of  the  faculty  generally  do  on  such  occa- 
sions. Now,  whilst  the  doctor  is  plotting  to 
prove  himself  desperately  and  almost  hopelessly 
sick,  and  the  captain  and  Mr.  Farmer,  to  make 
him  suddenly  well,  in  spite  of  himself,  I  shall 
take  the  opportunity  of  displaying  my  own 
heroic  deeds,  when  placed  in  the  first  indepen- 
dent command  ever  conferred  upon  me.  Jason, 
with  his  Argonauts,  went  to  bear  away  the 
Golden  Fleece ;  Columbus,  and  his  heroes,  to 
give  a  world  to  the  sovereign  of  Spain ;  and  I, 
with  two  little  boys,  pushed  out  of  the  Cove, 
perilously  to  procure  some  sand  in  the  dingy. 
Nothing  elevates  a  biography  like  appropriate 
comparisons.  But  I  doubt  whether  either 
Jason  or  Columbus  felt  a  more  enthusiastic 
glow  pervade  their  frames  when  each  saw  him- 


JLAXTUV,  THE  EBMSIL 


81 


self  fairly  under  sail  for  unknown  aeaa»  tban  did 
I,  when  I  seized  the  tiller  of  the  dingy,  which 
was,  by-the-bye,  a  stick  not  at  all  bigger  than 
that  which  I  had,  not  many  months  before, 
used  in  trundling  my  hoop. 


BO 


82 


RATttiN,  THB   RBEFBR. 


CHAPTER  VII. 


A  little  boat  with  a  large  cargo — Worse  than  the  drift 
of  a  dull  argument,  Ralph  finds  drifting  across  the 
Atlantic — He  meets  with  land  at  length,  and  a  real 
Irish  welcome — Potatoes  and  poteen,  and  much  more 
ftir  than  furniture. 


But  this  little  boat,  as  it  so  often  bore  Caesar 
and  his  fortunes,  and  our  surgeon  and  his  fat, 
deserves  and  shall  have  a  more  than  passing 
notice.  It  was  perhaps  one  of  the  smallest 
craft  that  ever  braved  the  seas.  Such  a  float- 
ing miniature  you  may  have  conceived  Gulliver 
to  be  placed  in,  when  he  was  sighed  across  the 
tub  of  water  by  his  Brobdignag  princess. 
WofuUy  and  timorously,  many  's  the  time  and 


RATTLIN^  THE  REBFER.  83 

oft,  did  the  obese  doctor  eye  it  from  the  gang- 
way ;  when,  asking  for  a  boat,  the  first  lieute- 
nant, smiling  benignantly,  would  reply ,<^  Doctor, 
take  the  dingy,^  It  was  all  that  the  dingy 
could  do,  to  take  the  doctor.  Then  the  care 
with  which  be  gently  deposited  himself,  pre- 
cisely in  the  centre  of  the  very  small  stem- 
sheets,  would  have  afforded  a  fine  moral  lesson 
to  those  who  pretend  to  watch  over  the  safety 
of  states.  As  the  little  craft,  laden  with  this 
immense  pharmacopoeian  depositary,  hobbled 
over  the  seas,  it  seemed  almost  to  progress 
upright,  and  ^'  walked  the  waters  like  a  thing 
of  life;^  for  it  had  a  shrewd  likeness  to  a 
young  monkey  learning  to  go  upright,  with  its 
two  long  arms  steadying  its  uncertain  gait,  the 
oars  making  all  this  resemblance.  Indeed,  it 
was  so  diminutive,  that  it  often  kept  the  two 
boys  that  belonged  to  it  from  the  fresh  as  well 
as  the  salt  water,  they  clapping  it  over  their 
heads,  by  way  of  an  umbrella,  whenever  the 
clouds  poured  down  a  libation  too  liberal.  To 
those  curious  in  philology,  I  convey  the  infor- 
mation, that  in  the  word  dingy y  the  g  was  pro- 


84  KhTtuMftsm  KEKnm 

nounoed  hardi  Thi»  eiplanatioof  is  riBvneon*- 
aary  to  do  justice  to  the  pigmy  floafter^  as  it  was 
always  painted  in  the  gayest  ooloiiH  possHde. 
It  was  quite  a  pet  of  the  first  lieutenant^s. 
Indeed,  he  loved  it  so  much,  that  he  took  care 
never  to  oppress  it  with  his  own  weight. 

The  Cove  of  Cork  is  a  fine  harbour,  entered 
by  the  means  of  a  somewhat  narrow  strait.  I 
have  forgotten  the  names  of  all  the  headlands 
and  points,  and  I  am  so  sick  of  Irish  affidrs, 
that  I  do  not  choose  to  go  into  the  noct  room 
and  get  the  map  to  refer  to,  for  on  it  there  is 
scarcely  a  spot  that  could  meet  my  eye,  that 
would  not  give  rise  to  disagreeable  associations. 
So  I  prefer  writing  from  memory,  magic 
memory,  that  gives  me  now  the  picture  of  five- 
and-twenty  years  ago,  all  green,  and  fresh,  and 
beautiful. 

On  entering  the  Cove,  there  were,  on  the  left 
hand  of  the  strait,  fortifications  and  military 
barracks.  Beyond  these,  to  the  seaward,  and 
just  on  the  elbow  of  the  land,  that  formed  the 
entrance  to  the  strait,  our  first  lieutenant 
discovered  from  the  ta£Prail  of  the  frigate,  a 


jmtichot  Mud;    Tiie  t«it  of  the  stk^ve  was 

rocky»  iron^bomid,  and  unapprbachaUe  frovt^ 

the  3ea.     Mr.  Farmer  took  me  aft,  pdnted  out 

to  me  the  just  Tisible  spot,  told  me  to  fetch  off 

as  much  sand  as  the  dhigy  could  bear,  and 

return  with  all  expedition.     Proud  of  the  ixMn- 

mission,  about  four  p.  m.,  the  tide  running  out 

furiouaijr,  I  ordered  the  dingees  to  be  piped 

awajr,  aad   walking  down  the  side  with  due 

dignity,  with  a  bucket  and  a  couple  of  spades^ 

we  pushed  off,  and  soon  reached  the  spot.     The 

boat  was  loaded,  but  in  the  mean  time  the  tide 

had  left,  and,  light  and  small,  as  she  was,  three 

little  boys  could  not  launch  her  till  almost  all 

the  sand  had  been  returned  to  its  native  soil. 

All  this  occupied  much  time.     It  was  nearly 

dusk  when  we  got  her  afloat,  and  the  wind  had 

got  up  strongly  from  off  the  land.     It  came  on 

to  rain,  and  we  had  not  got  far  from  the  shore, 

before  the  tide  swept   us  clean  out  into   the 

Atlantic.      We   were    shortly  in   a  situation 

sufficiently  perilous  for  the  heroic.     There  we 

were,  three  lads,   whose   united  years  would 

not  have  made  up  those  of  a  middle-aged  man. 


86  RATTLIN,  THB   RBBFBR. 

in  a  very  little  boat,  in  a  very  high  aea,  with  a 
strong  gale  that  would  have  been  very  favour- 
able for  us,  if  we  had  wished  to  steer  for  New 
York.  As  we  could  not  make  head  at  all 
against  the  combined  strength  of  an  adverse 
wind,  tide,  and  sea,  we  left  off  pulling,  and 
threw  all  the  sand  out  of  the  boat  We  knew 
the  tide  would  turn,  we  hoped  that  the  sea 
might  go  down,  and  trusted  that  the  wind 
would  change.  Before  it  was  quite  dark,  we 
had  lost  sight  of  the  land,  and  I  began  to  feel  a 
little  uncomfortable,  as  my  boat's  crew  from 
stem  to  stem,  (no  great  distance,)  assured  me 
that  we  should  certainly  be  swamped.  In  this 
miserable  position  of  our  affairs,  and  when  we 
should  have  found  ourselves  very  cold,  if  we 
had  not  been  so  hungry,  and  very  hungry  if  we 
had  not  been  so  cold,  an.  Hibernian  mercantile 
vessel  passed  us,  laden  with  timber  and  fruit, 
viz.  potatoes  and  birch-brooms,  and  they 
very  kindly  and  opportunely  threw  us  a  tow- 
rope.  This  drogher,  that  was  a  large,  half- 
decked,  cutter-rigged  vessel,  made  great  way 
through  the  water,  and,  as  we  were  dragged 


RATTUN,  THE   REEFBR.  87 

after  her,  we  were  nearly  drowned  by  the  sea 
fiplashing  over  us,  and,  had  it  not  been  for  our 
sand-bucket,  it  is  probable  that  we  should 
have  filled.  In  the  state  of  the  sea,  to  get  on 
board  the  drogher  from  the  dingy,  was  Im  ope- 
ration too  dangerous  to  be  attempted. 

But,  before  this  assistance  came,  what  were 
my  feelings?  No  situation  could  be  more 
disconsolate,  and,  apparently,  more  hopeless. 
Does  not  the  reader  suppose  that  there  was  a 
continual  rushing  through  my  bosom  of  ago- 
nized feelings?  Can  he  not  understand  that 
visions  of  my  lately-forsaken  green  play-ground 
came  over  the  black  and  massive  waves,  and 
seemed  to  settle  on  them,  as  in  mockery  ?  But 
were  I  to  dilate  upon  these  horrors,  would  he 
not  weary  of  them  ?  Had  I  been  the  son  of  a 
king  thus  situated,  or  even  the  acknowledged 
ofi^pring  of  a  duke,  there  might  have  been 
sympathy.  But  the  newly  emancipated  school- 
boy, drowned  with  two  lads  just  drafted  from 
the  Marine  Society,  in  a  small  boat  ofi^  the 
Irish  coast,  may  be  thought  a  melancholy 
occurrence,  but  involving  nothing  of  particular 


88  RATTLIN,  XBM   RJBSFUU 

interest.  I  aee  my  error :  if  I  wkh  Co  create 
an  effect,  I  must  first  prove  that  I  am  the  son 
of  a  duke  or  a  king.  I  have  bq(un  at  tbe. 
wrong  end. 

However,  let  the  reader  sneer  as  he  will  at 
my  predicament,  there  was  something  sublime 
in  the  scene  around  me.  The  smalloess  of  the 
craft  magnified  the  greatness  of  the  waves.  I 
literally  enjoyed  the  interesting  situation  which 
naval  writers,  who  are  not  nautical,  of  **  seas 
running  mountains  high,^  so  rejoice  to  describe. 
One  wave  on  either  hand  bounded  my  horizon. 
They  were  absolutely  moimtain  waves  to  me; 
and  when  our  little  walnut-shell  got  on  tbe  top 
of  one,  it  is  no  great  stretch  of  metaphor  to  say, 
that  we  appeared  ascending  to  the  clouds.  We 
could  not  look  down  upon  one  wave,  until  we 
were  fairly  on  the  back  of  another.  Now,  in 
a  vessel  of  tolerable  size,  let  the  sea  rage  at 
its  worst,  from  the  ship^s  decks  you  always  look 
down  upon  it,  excepting  now  and  then,  when 
some  short-lived  giant  will  poke  up  its  over- 
grown head.  But  I  roust  remember  that  I  am 
in  tow  of  the  potato  craft. 


Though  she  lay  wdl  up  for  the  harbbur^s 
mouth,  she  could  not  fetch  it,  so  ihe  tacked 
and  tacked  again,  until  nearly  ten  o^dock,'  at 
which  time,  we,  in  the  dingy,  were  half  frozen, 
atld  almost  wholly  drowned.  The  moon  was 
now  up,  though  partially  obscured  by  flying 
rack,  and  in  making  a  land  board,  the  honest 
Pat,  in  the  command  of  the  sloop,  shortened  the 
tow-rope,  and  hailed  us,  telling  us  when  we 
were  well  abreast  of  a  little  sandy  bight,  to 
cast  off,  pull  in,  and  haul  up  our  boat  above 
high-water  mark.  We  took  his  advice,  and, 
without  much  difficulty,  found  ourselves,  once 
more,  on  terra  firma. 

I  cannot  help,  in  this  place,  making  the  re- 
flection, of  the  singular  events  that  the  erratic 
life  of  a  sailor  produces.  Here  were  evidently 
three  lives  saved,  among  which  was  that  of  the 
future  paragon  of  reefers,  and  neither  the  saved 
nor  the  saviours  knew  even  the  names,  or  saw 
distinctly  the  faces  of  each  other.  How  many 
good  and  brave  actions  we  sailors  do,  and  the 
careless  world  knows  nothing  about  them. 
The  sailor's  life  is  a  series  of  common-place 
heroisms. 


90  RATTLIN,  THE   REEFER. 

Well,  here  we  were,  landed  on  the  coast  of 
Ireland,  but  in  what  part  we  knew  not,  and 
with  every  prospect  of  pascdng  the  night  under 
the  grandest,  but,  in  winter,  the  most  uncom- 
fortable roof  in  the  world.  The  two  lads 
begged  for  leave  to  go  up  and  look  for  a  bouse; 
but,  as  I  had  made  up  my  mind  that,  if  a  loss 
took  place,  we  should  be  all  lost  together,  I 
would  not  run  the  risk  of  loiing  my  boaf  s  crew, 
and  finding  myself — alone.  I  refused  my 
consent,  telling  them  that  it  was  my  duty  to 
stay  by  my  boat,  and  theirs  to  stay  by  me. 
Now  this  was  tolerably  firm,  considering  the 
ducking  that  I  had  enjoyed,  and  the  hunger, 
cold,  and  weariness  that  I  was  then  enjoying 
— enjoying?  yes,  enjoying.  Surely  I  have  as 
much  right  to  enjoy  them,  if  I  like,  as  the 
ladies  and  gentlemen  of  this  metropolis  have  to 
enjoy  bad  health. 

But  this  epicene  state  of  enjoyment  was  not 
long  to  last.  A  fresh-coloured  native,  with  a 
prodigious  breadth  of  face,  only  to  be  surpassed 
by  his  prodigious  breadth  of  shoulders,  ap- 
proached, and  addressed  us  in  a  brogue  so 


RATTLIN,  THE   REEFER.  91 

Strong,  that  it  would,  like  the  boatswain's  grog, 
have  floated  a  marling-spike,  and  in  a  stuttering 
so  thick,  that  a  horn  spoon  would  have  stood 
upright  in  it.  The  consequence  was,  that 
though  fellow  subjects,  we  could  not  under- 
stand each  other.  So  he  went,  and  brought 
down  with  him  a  brawny  brother,  who  spoke 
*^  Inglis  iligantly  any  how.^  Well,  the  pro- 
verbial hospitality  of  the  Irish  suffered  no 
injury  in  the  persons  of  my  Irish  friends.  A 
pressing  invitation  to  their  dwelling  and  to 
their  hospitality,  was  urged  upon  us  in  terms, 
and  with  looks,  that  I  felt  were  the  genuine 
offspring  of  kindness  and  generosity  of  soul. 
But  I  still  demurred  to  leave  my  boat.  When 
they  understood  the  full  force  of  my  objection, 
my  friez&<x)ated  friend,  who  spoke  the  *^  ib'gant 
Inglis,^  explained. 

*'  Oj'by  Jasus,  and  aint  she  welcome  intirely? 
Ck»ne  along,  ye  little  undersized  spalpeen,  with 
your  officer,  won't  you  ?" 

And,  before  I  could  well  understand  what 
they  were  about,  the  two  "jontlemen''  had 
taken  up  his  majesty'*s  vessel  under  my  com- 


9t  RATrLIU,  *tli£  ftSSmfc 

mand,  liad  turned  it  bottoui  ufi|^%Mr*fleveral 
shakes,  to  clear  it  of  the  w«t€r  and  simd,  and 
with  as  little  difficulty  as  a  farmeFii'bojr  wHqM 
have  turned  upside  down  a  thmAh^to  'CsfgCf  kt 
order  to  cleanse  it.  After  this  cpeftwtibfk  had 
been  performed,  they  righted  it,  and  ode  hjiog 
hold  of  the  bow,  and  the  other  the  stem,  tiiey 
swung  it  between  them,  as  two* washerwomen 
might  a  basket  of  dirty  clothes.  I  must  con- 
fess, that  I  was  a  great  deal  mortified  at  seeing 
my  command  treated  thus  slightingly,  whidi 
mortification  was  not  a  little  increased  by  an 
overture  that  they  kindly  made  to  me,  saying, 
that  if  I  were  at  all  tired,  they  would,  with 
all  the  pleasure  in  the  world,  carry  me  in  it. 
I  preferred  walking. 

Ofiicer,  boat's  crew,  guides,  boat  and  oars, 
proceeded  in  this  manner  for  more  than  half  a 
mile  up  into  the  country.  At  length,  by  the 
moonlight,  I  discovered  a  row  of  earthy 
mounds,  that  I  positively,  at  first,  thought  was 
a  parcel  of  heaps,  such  as  I  had  seen  in  Eng- 
land, under  which  potatoes  are  buried  for  the 
winter. 


&4TTUV,  THE   BBBVBB.  9S 

I  was  undeoeived,  by  being  welcomed  to  the 
town  of  some  pkf^e,  dreadful  in  ^<  as,^  and 
^^  gluuH"  and  with  a  name  go  difficult  to  utter, 
that  I  could  not  pronounce  it  when  I  attempted, 
and  which,  if  I  had  ever  been  so  fortunate  as 
to  retain,  I  should,  for  mj  own  comfort,  have 
made  haste  to  forget. 

I  hope  that  the  '*  finest  pisintry  in  the 
world,^  are  better  located  now  than  they  were 
«  quarter  of  a  century  ago,  for  they  are,  or 
were,  a  fine  peasantry,  as  far  as  physical  orga- 
nization can  make  them,  and  desenre  at  least  to 
be  housed  like  human  beings ;  but  what  I  saw, 
when  on  that  night  I  entered  the  mud  edifice  of 
my  conductors,  made  me  start  with  astonish- 
ment. In  the  first  place,  the  walls  were  mud 
all  through,  and  as  rough  on  the  inside  as  the 
out.  There  was  actually  no  furniture  in  it  of 
any  description ;  and  the  only  implement  I  saw, 
was  a  large  globular  iron  pot,  that  stood  upon 
spikes,  like  a  carpenter^s  pitch  kettle,  which 
poty  at  the  moment  of  my  entrance,  was  full  of 
hot,  recently  boiled,  unskinned,  fine  mealy 
praties.     Round  this  there  might   have  been 


-V-  -u(  n  must  be  reir 
r'  '^^  "»-»  'J^e  ea«b,  and 
floor,  and  the  circle  w„ 

«>  elderr'  °"  "  *''«*^ 

&8tidr  ""*  '^'*"«». 

them,  so  rough  «„d  dirty  wT 
-J'e  a,u«t  ha^e  been  „       ^ 

%-place.  '^^      *  *»« 

A-ong   the   squatted    ca^k 
^d^-%ged  drummer  iT 

♦Ve  were  welcomed  - 
^-gtatulation,.    My  bT        . 

placed  h^tt  ^  ^'*  ''*«  br 

»««cea  twttom  un  »u»-  . 


&ATTLIN,  THE   REEFER.  95 

of  alimentary  discovery.  I  was  immediately 
pulled  down  between  two  really  handsome  lasses 
in  the  circle,  and,  with  something  like  savage 
hospitality,  had  my  cheeks  stuffed  with  the 
burning  potatoes. 

Never  was  there  a  more  hilarious  meeting. 
I,  and  my  Tom  Thumb  of  a  boat,  and  my 
minikin  crew,  I  could  well  understand,  though 
my  hosts  spoke  in  their  mother  tongue,  were 
the  subjects  of  their  incessant  and  uncontrollable 
bursts  of  laughter.  But  with  all  this,  they 
were  by  no  means  rude,  and  showed  me  that 
sort  of  respect  that  servants  do  to  the  petted 
child  of  their  master :  that  is  to  say,  they  were 
inclined  to  be  very  patronizing,  and  very  care- 
ful of  me,  in  spite  of  myself,  and  to  humour  me 
greatly.  My  two  boys,  whom  I  have  so  often 
dignified  with  the  imposing  title  of  my  boat^s 
crew,  though  treated  with  less,  or  with  no 
respect  at  all,  were  welcomed  in  a  manner 
equally  kind. 


96 


RATTLIN,  THE   REEFER. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 


Ralph  figureth  at  a  ball,  excelleth,  and  afterwards  sleepeth 
— He  retumeth  on  board,  and  hath  both  his  toils  and 
his  sand  undenralued,  and  thus  discovereth  the  gtatitude 
of  first  lieutenants. 


Not  yet  having  sufficiently  Hibemized  my 
taste  to  luxuriate  on  Raleigh'*s  root,  plain,  with 
salt,  I  begged  them  to  procure  me  something 
more  placable  to  an  English  appetite.  I  gave 
money  to  my  hosts,  and  they  procured  me  ^gs 
and  bacon.  I  might  also  have  had  a  fowl,  but 
I  did  not  wish  to  devour  guests,  to  whom  on 
my  boat^s  keel  I  had  given  such  recent  hospita- 
lity. They  returned  me  my  full  change,  and, 
though  there  was  more  than  enough  of  what 


RATTLIN,   THE   REEFER.  97 

they  cooked  for  me  to  satisfy  myself  and  boys, 
they  would  not  partake  of  the  remains  until  I 
assured  them,  that  if  they  did  not  I  would 
throw  them  away.  At  this  intimation  they  dis- 
appeared in  a  twinkling. 

Then  came  the  whiskey — the  real  dew.  I 
never  touched  it.  I  have  before  stated,  that 
for  three  years,  I  abstained  from  all  spirituous 
liquors^  My  lads  had  made  no  such  resolution. 
The  big  iron  pot  was  now,  like  an  honest  old 
sailor,  that  had  done  his  duty,  kicked  aside  in 
the  comer;  the  drummer  and  fifer  seating 
themselves  on  the  keel  of  the  inverted  dingy, 
struck  up  a  lilt,  and 

**  Off  they  went  so  gaily  O  !" 

More  lads  and  lasses  came  in,  and  jigs  and 
reels  succeeded  each  other  with  such  rapidity, 
that,  notwithstanding  the  copious  supplies  of 
whiskey,  the  drummer^s  arms  failed  him,  and 
the  fifer  had  almost  blown  himself  into  an 
atrophy.  Did  I  dance  ?  To  be  sure  I  did,  and 
right  merrily  too.  I  had  such  pleasant,  fair- 
haired,  rosy,  Hebe-like  instructresses,  ready  to 
tear  each  other^s  eyes  out  to  get  me  for  a  part- 

VOL.  11.  F 


that,  notwithstanding  the  h 
cabin   was   upon  them,  an 
more  tlian  heighten  the  cc 
tbey  were  really  enchuitiDg 
less  creatures.    It  has  been 
the  social  circle,  ^x  extrem 
almost  meet.    Theae  ladies, 
goDe  so  far  beywd  Tulgarit 
now  coDverging  to  the  supcrit 
degagement  of  the  upper  daist 
never  struck  me,'  that  I  was  in 
I  then,  of  course,  could  have  b 
ferent  judge.     But  I  have  thi 
rince,  and  must  say,   that,  ii 
sense  of  the  word,  my  compai 
was  not  vulgar.     It  was  pastoi 
barbarous,  but  every  thiiiK  w 


KATTLIN^  THE  REEFER.  99 

hilarity,  though  there  were  assembled  a  dot^n 
of  as  pretty  ^<  broths  of  boys,"^  as  ever  practised 
scull  salutation  at  Donnybrook  fair. 

At  length,  about  one  in  the  morning,  the 
whiskey  had  overpowered  my  boat^s  crew,  and 
the  whisking  myself.  They  made  up  a  lair  for 
me  with  abundant  great  coats  in  the  comer  of 
the  room,  and  my  eyes  gradually  closed  in  sleep, 
catching,  till  they  were  finally  sealeijd  up,  every 
now  and  then,  twinklings  of  bare  legs  and  well- 
turned  andes,  mingling  with  the  clatter  of  heavy 
brogues,  and,  the  drone  of  a  bagpipe,  that  had 
now  superseded  the  squeak  of  the  fife,  and  the 
rattle  of  the  drum. 

I  certainly  did  dream,  I  suppose  about  an 
hour  after  I  had  fallen  asleep,  of  the  clattering 
of  sticks,  the  squalling  of  women,  and  the  curs- 
ing of  men  ;  and  I  felt  an  indistinct  sensation, 
as  if  people  were  practising  leaping  over  my 
body,  and  finally,  as  if  some  soft-rounded  figure 
had  caught  me  in  her  arms.  I  was  so  terribly 
oppressed  with  fatigue,  that  I  could  not  awake ; 
and,  as  the  last  part  of  my  dream  gave  roe  so 
sweet  an  idea  of  happiness  and  security,  if  I 

f2 


100  RATTLIN,   THE   REEPfiR« 

may  use  the  expression,  I  shall  say,  as  every 
novelist  has  a  right  to  do  once  in  his  three 
volumes — *'  I  was  lapped  in  Elysiiim.^ 

Every  thing  was  oblivion  until  I  was  awa- 
kened by  one  of  my  lads,  at  eight  in  the  morn- 
ing, and  I  arose  refreshed,  though  a  little  stiff. 
The  hardened  clay,  which  composed  the  floor, 
was  neatly  swept  up,  the  pigs  and  the  poultry 
were  driven  out,  and  a  good  fire  was  biasing 
under  the  chimney.  Of  all  the  party  of  the 
night  before,  there  remained  only  the  two  fine 
young  men  who  brought  me  and  my  boat  up; 
the  elderly  couple,  and  two  blooming  girls,  with 
the  youngest  of  whom  I  had  danced  almost  the 
whole  of  the  previous  evening.  I  observed  on 
one  of  the  young  men  a  tremendous  black  eye, 
that  certainly  was  not  there  the  day  before,  and 
the  other  had  his  temples  carefully  bandaged, 
and  both  my  boat-boys  complained  of  being 
kicked  and  trampled  on  during  the  night,  yet, 
I  am  not  so  ungrateful,  upon  such  slender  evi- 
dence,  as  to  assert  that  the  dance  had  ended 
in  a  skrignmage,  or  so  presumptuous  as  to 
say  in  what  manner  I   thought   that   I  had 


RATTLIN^   THE   REEFER.  101 

been  protected  during  the  row,  if  there  had 
been  one. 

My  hosts  had  nothing  to  offer  me  for  break- 
fast but  a  thin,  and  bj  no  means  tempting  pot 
of  hot  meal  and  water.  I  certainly  did  taste  a 
little,  that  I  might  not  seem  to  disrespect  the 
pretty  .Norah,  who  had  prepared  it  for  me,  and 
stioTe  to  make  it  palatable  by  a  lump  of  butter, 
a  delicacy  that  was  offered  to  no  one  else.  As 
I  was  impatient  to  be  off,  I  kissed  the  girls 
heartily,  yes,  heartily,  shook  hands  with  the 
sons,  and  prepared  for  my  departure,  after 
having,  with  considerable  difficulty,  forced  a 
half-guinea  upon  my  hosts.  I  begged  to  know 
the  names  of  those  to  whose  hospitality  I  was 
so  much  indebted,  and,  as  well  as  memory  will 
serve  me  at  this  distance  of  time,  I  think  they 
were  specimens  of  what  excellent  O^Tooles 
potatoes  are  capable  of  producing.  We  then 
resumed  our  procession  down  to  the  beach,  I 
walking  first,  bearing  the  boat-hook  pikeways, 
followed  by  the  boat  .itself,  borne  between 
the  two  athletic  Tooles,  and  the  procession 
was  closed  by  the  boafs  crew,  each  with 
his  oar  upon  his   shoulder.     We  were  soon 


lOe  RATTUN,  THE  JIEEFBR* 

launched,  and  instrueted  as  to  the  eoune  we 
were  to  take.  The  wind  and  sea  had  gone 
down,  and  the  tide  was  favourable.  We  had 
to  puU  about  five  miles  to  get  round  the  bluff, 
when  we  arrived  at  the  sandy  little  nook,  from 
which  we  had  made  our  involuntary  excursion 
to  sea  the  night  before.  The  spirit  of  obedi- 
ence to  orders  was  strong  upon  me,  and  in  spite 
of  the  remonstrance  of  the  boys,  I  went  in,  and 
loaded  the  dingy  nearly  down  to  the  gunnel 
with  the  sand,  for  which  we  had  been  so  much 
perilled.  After  all  my  dangers,  I  got  safely  on 
board  before  noon,  much  to  the  surprise  of  all 
on  board,  who  had  given  us  up  as  lost,  and 
there  had  already  been  a  coolness  between  the 
captain  and  the  first  lieutenant  on  my  acooimt. 
This  coolness  promised  a  warm  reception  for 
myself,  and  I  got  it. 

So  occupied  had  Mr.  Farmer  been  all  the  day 
before  in  taking  in  Irish  beef  and  pork,  for  the 
West  Indian  storehouses,  and  extra  water  to 
supply  any  of  the  convoy  that  might  fall  short 
of  that  necessary  article,  that  he  had  totally 
forgotten  the  sand  expedition,  and  it  was  eight 
in  the  evening,  just  at  the  time  that  I  was,  in 


BATTLIN^  THE  REEFER.      103 

the  words  of  the  song,  '*  far,  far  at  sea,^  that  he 
was  remuided  of  it.  Mr*  Silva,  the  second 
lieutenant,  begged,  as  a  favour,  that  a  boat 
might  be  lent  him,  just  to  put  him  alongside 
the  Roebuck,  one  of  the  two  eighteen-gun  brigs 
that  was  to  accompany  us  as  whippers-ip  to  the 
convoy.  As  the  captain  was  not  expected  on 
board  till  late,  Mr.  Farmer  had  not  much  hesi* 
tation  in  granting  the  request,  with  his  usual 
''  Take  the  dingy,  Mr.  Silva.""  But  just  then 
the  Atlantic  had  been  beforehand  with  him. 
The  dingy  had  not  returned.  She  had  been 
last  seen  at  the  sandy  nook  to  which  she  had 
been  sent.  The  barge  and  cutter  were  imme- 
diately manned  and  sent  to  look  for  me.  They 
easily  got  to  the  place  where  I  was  seen  load- 
ing, and  found  the  sand  disturbed,  but  nothing 
else.  They  returned  with  some  difficulty 
against  the  head-wind,  and,  of  course,  made  a 
most  disheartening  report.  When  the  captain 
returned  he  was  dreadfully  angry. 

Well,  as  I  crept  up  the  side  sneakingly,  not 
very  well  knowing  whether  I  were  to  enact  the 
hero  or  the  culprit,  I  concocted  a  speech  that 


101  aATTLlN,  THE  RBEFER* 

was  doomed  to 'share  the  fate  of  *^  the  lost  m- 
ventioDs.^  I  saw  the  captain  and  Mr.  Fanner 
pacing  the  deck,  but  both  decidedly  with  their 
duty  faces  on.  Touching  my  hat  very  sub- 
missively, I  said,  sheepishly,  ^^  I  \e  come  on 
board,  sir,  and ^ 

"  You  young  blackguard!  I've  a  great 
mind •• 

*<  To  do  what,  Mr.  Farmer  f^  said  Captain 
Reud,  interposing. 

Now,  I  can  assure  the  reader,  twenty-five 
years  ago,  when  we  had  nearly  cleared  the  seas 
of  every  enemy,  and  the  British  pennant  was 
really  a  whip,  which  had  flogged  every  oppo* 
nent  of  the  ocean,  the  *^  young  gentlemen^ 
were  ^metimes  flogged  too,  and  more  often 
called  young  blackguards,  than  by  any  other 
title  of  honour.  All  this  is  altered  for  the 
better  now.  We  don't  abuse  each  other,  or  flog 
among  ourselves  so  much  —  and,  the  next  war, 
I  make  no  doubt,  what  we  have  spared  to  our- 
selves, we  shall  bestow  upon  our  enemies.  I 
mention  this,  that  the  reader  may  not  suppose 
that  I  am  coarse  in  depicting  the  occasional 
looseness  of  the  naval  manners  of  the  tiroes. 


aATTLIN^   THE   REEFER.  105 

"  To  punish  him  for  staying  out  all  night 
without  leave.^ 

^' That  ^8  a  great  fault,  certainly,^  said  the 
captain,  slily.  ^*  Pray  Mr.  Rattlin,  what  t/4-^ 
duced  you  to  commit  it  ?" 

^*  Please,  sir,  I  wasn't  induced  at  all.  I  was 
regularly  blown  out,  and  now  I  am  as  regularly 
b " 

*^Gome,  sir,  I'll  be  your  friend,  and  not 
permit  you  to  finish  your  sentence.  If  it 's  a 
fair  question,  Mr.  Rattlin,  may  I  presume  to 
ask  where  you  slept  last  night  ?"" 

"  With  the  two  Misses  OTTooles,'*  said  I ; 

■ 

for  really  the  young  ladies  were  uppermost  in 
my  thoughts. 

"  You  young  reprobate  !  What,  with  both  ?" 
said  the  captain,  grinning. 

"  Yes,  sir,''  for  I  now  began  to  feel  myself 
safe ;  '*  and  Mr.  and  Mrs.  O'Toole,  and  Mr. 
Cornelius  O'Toole,  who  has  red  hair,  and  Mr. 
Phelim  O'Toole,  who  has  a  black  eye,  —  and 
the  poultry,  and  the  pigs,  and  the  boat's  crew." 

"  And  where  was  the  boat  all  this  time  ?" 

*f  Sleeping  with  us  too,  sir." 

f5 


106      RATTLIN,  THE  RBBFBR. 

I  then  shortly  detailed  what  bad  happened 
to  me,  which  amused  the  captain  much.  *'  And 
so,^  he  continued,  *^  after  all,  you  have  brought 
off  the  sand.  I  really  commend  your  perseve- 
rance/' 

A  bucket  of  sand  was  handed  up,  and  Mr. 
Farmer  contemptuously  filtered  it  through  his 
fingers;  then  turning  to  me  wrathfully,  ex- 
claimed, '^  How  dare  you  bring  off  for  sand, 
such  shelly,  pebbly,  gritty  stuff  as  this,  sir  ?^ 

^*  If  you  please,  sir,  I  had  no  hand  in  putting 
it  where  I  found  it,  and  I  only  obeyed  orders  in 
bringing  it  off."  For  I  really  felt  it  to  be 
very  unjust  to  be  blamed  for  the  act  of  nature, 
and  especially  as  three  lives  had  been  endan- 
gered to  procure  a  few  buckets  of  worthless 
earth. 

The  captain  thought  so  too ;  for  he  said  to 
Mr.  Farmer,  very  coldly,  "  I  think  you  should 
have  ascertained  the  quality  of  the  sand  before 
you  sent  for  it;  and  I  don't  think  that  you 
should  have  sent  for  it  at  all  towards  nightfall, 
and  at  the  beginning  of  ebb  tide.  Youngster, 
you  shall  dine  with  me  to-day,  and  give  me  a 
history  of  the  O'Tooles." 


RATTLIN^   THE  &BfiF£B. 


107 


CHAPTER    IX. 

An  iiiT&lidiiig  gait — Tbe  cards  well  played,  and  by  a 
tminp;  the  odd  trick,  however,  in  much  danger—- 
The  doctor  finesses  with  a  good  heart,  but  diamonds  are 
cutting  articles. 


Two  days  had  elapsed  after  my  incursions 
upon  the  **  wild  Irishers/^  during  which  our 
surgeon  had  kept  himself  closely  to  his  cabin, 
when  he  wrote  a  letter  on  service  to  the  captain, 
requesting  a  survey  upon  his  self-libelled  rotun- 
dity of  body.  The  captain,  according  to  the 
laws  of  the  service,  **  in  that  case  made  and 
provided,*^  forwarded  the  letter  to  the  port- 
admiral,  who  appointed  the  following  day  for 
the  awful  inspection.     As  I   said  before,  the 


began  to  dose  himself  immoderately 
tarised  antimony,  and  other  drugs,  tc 
round    and    hitherto    ruddv   counten 
pallor  of  disease.     He  commenced  ge 
his  invaliding  suit. 

It  had  been  a  great  puzzle  to  hie 
officers,  to  understand  what  two  weai 
mechanical-looking  men,  from  the  sh 
been  doing  in  his  cabin  the  greater  pa 
night.      They  did  not  believe,  as  th 
intimated,  that  they  were  functionaric 
law,  taking  instructions  for  his  last  > 
testament ;  though  the  astute  surgeon  I 
a  note  to  Mr.  Farmer,  the  first  lieutena 
what  he  thought  infinite  cunning,  to  \ 
case  of  any  thing  fatal  happening  imnc 
to  the  writer,  whether  his  friend  woul( 


RATTLIN^  THE   REEFER.  10^ 

he  would  very  willingly  take  his  chance  of 
both;' 

At  twelve  o'clock  every  thing  was  ready. 
The  survey  was  to  take  place  in  the  captain's 
cabin.  Dr.  Thompson  sends  for  his  two  assist- 
ants, and  then,  for  the  first  time  for  three  days, 
he  emerges,  leaning  heavily  upon  both  his  sup- 
porters. 

Can  this  be  the  jovial  and  rubicund  doctor  ? 
"Wliose  deadly  white  face  is  that,  that  peers  out 
from  under  the  shadow  of  an  immense  green 
shade  ?  The  lips  are  livid — the  comers  of  the 
mouth  drawn  down — and  yet  there  is  a  trium- 
phant sneer  in  their  very  depression.  The 
ofiicers  gather  round  him,  he  lifts  up  his  head 
slowly,  and  then  looks  round  and  shakes  it  de- 
spondingly.  His  eyes  are  dreadfully  bloodshot. 
His  messmates,  the  young  ones  especially, 
begin  to  think  that  his  illness  is  real.  There 
is  the  real  sympathy  of  condolence  in  the 
greetings  of  all  but  the  hard-a-weather  master, 
the  witty  purser  and  the  obdurate  first.  The 
invalid  was  apparelled  in  an  ancient  roast-beef 
uniform  coat,  bottle-green  from  age ;  the  waist- 


wrinkled  and  disordered  over  the  calf 
in  order  to  conceal  its  healthy  mass 
Big  as  was  the  doctor,  his  clothes  w 
Shakspeare  has  it,  *^  a  world  too  b]{ 
we  cannot  finish  the  quotation,  b 
<<  for  his  shrunk  shank.^  Instead  d 
yer^a-derks,  the  sly  rogue  had  had  t 
trious  snips  closeted  with  him,  for  tfa 
of  enlarging  this  particular  suit  of 
the  utmost. 

^^  In   the  name  of  ten  thousand 
doctor,"  exclaimed  Mr.  Farmer,  '^  i 
you  that  figure  ?^ 

**  Disease,""  was  the  palsied  and  s 

reply- 

**  But  the  clothes — ^the  clothes — the 
prehensible  clothes !" 


RATTLIN^   THE   REEFEIU  111 

There  was  a  laugh,  but  it  was  not  infectious 
as  respected  the  cxx^sion  of  it.  He  shook  his 
head  mournfully,  and  said,  **  The  flippancy  of 
rude  health — the  inconsiderate  laugh  of  strong 
youth  !'' 

With  much  difficulty  he  permitted  himself 
to  be  partly  carried  up  the  ladder,  and  seated 
in  all  the  dignity  of  sufiering  in  a  chair  in  the 
fore*cabin,  the  two  assistants  standing,  one  on 
each  side  of  him,  in  mute  observance. 

It  is  twelve  o^clock — half-past  twelve— one 
—-two.  The  captain  is  coming  on  board — tell 
the  officers — the  side  is  manned — the  boatswain 
pipes — and  the  little  great  man  arrives,  and, 
attended  by  Mr.  Farmer,  enters  the  cabin. 
Prepared  as  he  was  for  a  deception,  even  he 
starts  back  with  surprise  at  the  figure  before 
him. 

With  one  hand  upon  a  shoulder  of  each  of 
his  assistants,  the  doctor,  with  an  asthmatical 
effort,  rises. 
*  "  Well,  doctor,  how  are  you  ?^ 

The  doctor  shook  his  head. 

**  Matters  have  gone  a  great  length,  I  see.^ 


*  c*.  iijci  ana  he  were  friends  some 
an  hour  together,)   "  that  with  ch 
(lence  you  have  been  making  your 
my  dear  doctor^  it  is  true,  that  we 
been  three  months  associated ;  bt 
short  as  it  is,  has  given  me  the  hig 
of  your  convivial  qualities,  your, 
skill,  and  the  great  depth  of  your 
ing.     Deep — very  deep  !     You  mu 
me  among  the  mean  herd  of  legac 
but   I  would   willingly  have  some 
which  to  remember  so  excellent  a  m 
officer  so  able,  and  so  unshrinking  i 
formance  of  his  duties.^ 

"-There  is  my  tobacco-box,"  said 
with  a  feeble  malice ;  "  for  thoug 
the  weed  cannot  cure,  it  can  cono 
breath." 


RATTLIN^   THE   REEFER.  llS 

the  idea  of  chewing  tobacco  was  abhorrent, 
whilst  he  was  actually  and  distressingly  trou- 
bled with  the  infirmity  hinted  at.  For  a  moment, 
the  suavity  of  his  manner  was  destroyed,  and 
he  forgot  the  respect  due  to  the  dying. 

**  D*-n  the  tobacco-box— 4md  d— n  that — 
never  mind — no,  no,  doctor,  you  had  better 
order  the  box  to  be  buried  with  you,  for  no 
body  could  use  it  after  you ;  but  if  I  might 
presume  so  far— might  use  the  very  great  li- 
berty to  make  a  selection,  I  would  request, 
entreat,  nay,  implore  you  to  leave  me  the  whole 
suit  of  clothes  in  which  you  are  now  standing; 
and  if  you  would  be  so  considerate,  so  kind,  so 
generous,  by  O — d  I  ^11  have  them  stuffed  and 
preserved  as  a  curiosity.'^ 

"  Captain  Reud,  you  are  too  good.  Mr. 
Staples,"  turning  helplessly  to  his  assistant, 
^  get  me  immediately  an  effervescing  draught. 
Excuse  my  sitting — I  am  very  faint— you  are 
so  kind — you  quite  overcome  me."^ 

*^  No,  not  yet,^  said  the  captain  in  a  dry 
tone,  but  full  of  meaning.  **  I  may  perhaps 
by-and-by,  when  you  know  more  of  me ;  but 


U4  RATTLIN^   THE   RBEFER« 

now — O  no  !  However,  1 11  do  my  best  to 
make  you  grateful.  And  I  'm  sorry  t6  acquaint 
you,  that  the  admiral  has  put  off  the  sunrey  till 
twelve  o^clock  to-morrow,  when  I  trust  that  you 
will  be  as  well  prepared  as  you  are  now.  Don^t 
be  dejected,  doctor,  you  have  the  consolation 
of  knowing,  that  if  you  die  in  the  mean  time, 
all  the  annoyance  of  the  examination  will  be 
saved  you.  In  the  interim,  donH  forget  the  old 
clothes  —  the  invaliding  suit.  My  derk  shall 
step  down  with  you  into  the  cabin,  and  tack  a 
memorandum  on,  by  way  of  codicil,  to  your 
will :  donH  omit  those  high-quartered,  square- 
toed  shoes,  with  the.brass  buckles.^ 

^^  If  you  would  promise  to  wear  them  out 
yourself.*" 

*^  No,  no ;  but  I  promise  to  put  them  on 
when  I  am  going  to  invalid ;  or  to  lend  them  to 
Mr.  Farmer,  or  any  other  friend,  on  a  similar 
occasion."" 

<*  I  hope,""  said  Mr.  Farmer,  *^  that  I  shall 
never  stand  in  the  doctor^s  shoes.^ 

<^  I  hope  you  never  will  —  nor  in  Captain 
Beud'^s  either.^ 


BATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.      IIA 

The  gallant  commander  turned  from  yellow 
to  black  at  this  innuendo,  which  was,  for  many 
reasons,  particularly  disagreeable.  Seeing  that 
he  was  bagging  to  leeward,  like  a  west-country 
barge  laden  with  a  haystack,  in  this  sailing- 
match  of  wits,  he  broke  up  the  conference  by 
observing,  *^  You  had  better,  doctor,  in  consi- 
deration of  your  weakness,  retire  to  your  cabin. 
I  certainly  cannot,  seeing  my  near  prospect  of 
your  invaluable  legacy,  in  any  honesty  wish 
you  better."* 

With  all  due  precautions,  hesitations,  and 
restings.  Dr.  Thompson  reached  his  cabin, 
and  I  doubt  not  as  he  descended,  enervated  as 
he  was,  but  that  he  placed,  like  O^Connell, 
a  vow  in  heaven,  that  if  ever  Captain  Reud 
fell  under  his  surgical  claws,  the  active  opera- 
tions of  Dr.  Sangrado 'Should  be  in  their  celeri- 
ty even  as  the  progress  of  the  sloth,  compared 
with  the  despatch  and  energy  with  which  he 
would  proceed  on  the  coveted  opportunity. 

When  he  was  alone  he  was  bverheard  to 
murmur,  '*  Stand  in  my  shoes — the  ignorant 
puppies !     I  shall  see  one  of  them,  if  not  both. 


116  RATTLIN,  THE   REEFER. 

in  their  shrouds  yet.  Stand  in  my  shoes !  it 
is  true,  the  buckles  are  but  brass,  but  they  are 
shoes  whose  latchets  they  are  not  worthy  to 
unloose.^ 

There  was  then  another  day  for  the  poor 
doctor,  of  fasting,  tartarised  antimony,  and  irrir 
tating  eye-salve.  And  the  captain,  no  doubt 
in  secret  understanding  with  the  admiral, 
played  off  the  same  trick.  The  survey  was 
deferred  from  day  to  day,  for  six  days,  and 
until  the  very  one  before  the  ship  weighed 
anchor.  It  must  have  been  a  period  of  intense 
vexation  and  bodily  suffering  to  the  manoeuv- 
ring doctor. 

Each  day  as  he  made  his  appearance  at 
noon  in  the  captain^s  cabin,  he  had  to  wait  in 
miserable  state  his  hour  and  a-half,  or  two 
hours,  and  then  to  meet  the  gibing  salutation 
of  the  captain,  of,  "  Not  dead  yet,  doctor  ?^ 
with  his  jokes  upon  the  invaliding  suit.  The 
misery  of  the  deception,  and  the  sufferings  that 
he  was  forced  to  self-impose  to  keep  it  up,  as 
he  afterwards  confessed,  had  nearly  conquered 
him  on  the  third  day :  that  he  was  a  man  of 


RATTLIN,   THE   REEFER. 


117 


the  most  enduring  courage  to  brave  a  whole 
week  of  such  martyrdom,  must  be  conceded  to 
him.  Had  the  farce  continued  a  day  or  two 
longer,  he  would  have  had  the  disagreeable  op. 
tion  forced  upon  him,  either  of  being  seriously 
ill,  or  of  returning  imianter  to  excellent  health. 


118 


KATTLIN,   THE  KEEFBB; 


CHAPTER  X. 


Valid  reasons  for  invaliding— The  patient  cured  in  spite  of 
himself-^ And  a  lecture  on  disease  in  general,  with  a 
particular  case  of  instruments  as  expositors. 


At  length,  the  important  day  arrived  on 
Dirhich  the  survey  did  assemble.  The  large 
table  in  the  cabin  was  duly  littered  over  with 
paper  and  medical  books,  and  supplied  with 
pens  and  ink.  Three  post-captains,  in  gallant 
array,  with  swords  by  their  sides,  our  own 
captain  being  one,  and  three  surgeons,  with 
lancets  in  their  pockets,  congregated  with  grave 
politeness,  and  taking  their  chairs  according  to 
precedency  of  rank,  formed  the  Hygeian  court. 


RATTLIN,   THE   REEFER.  119 

A  fitting  preparation  was  necessary,  so  the  cap- 
tains began  to  debate  upon  the  various  pre- 
tensions  of  the  beautiful  Phrynes  of  Cork  — 
the  three  medical  men,  whether  the  plague  was 
contagious  or  infectious,  or  both  —  or  neither. 
At  the  precise  moment  when  Captain  Reud 
was  maintaining  the  superiority  of  the  attrac- 
tions of  a  blonde  Daphne  against  the  asser- 
tions of  a  champion  of  a  dark  Phyllis,  and  the 
eldest  surgeon  had  been,  by  the  heat  of  the 
argument,  carried  so  far  as  to  maintain,  in  as- 
serting the  non-infectious  and  non-contagious 
nature  of  the  plague,  that  you  could  not  give 
it  a  man  by  inoculating  him  with  its  virus,  the 
patient,  on  whose  case  they  had  met  to  decide, 
appeared. 

In  addition  to  the  green  shade,  our  doctor 
had  enwrapped  his  throat  with  an  immense 
scarlet  comforter,  so  that  the  reflection  of  the 
green  above,  and  the  contrast  with  the  colour 
below,  made  the  pallor  of  his  face  still  more 
lividly  pale.  He  was  well  got  up.  Captain 
Reud  nodded  to  the  surgeons  to  go  on,  and  he 
proceeded  wiUi  his  own  argument. 


resting.  With  the  noble  posts  i 
two,  that  is,  our  captain,  the  T>i 
drawn  upon  him  the  other  two  c 
o£  whom  were  Phyllisites.  Whc 
to  argue  against  two,  and  is  not 
of  being  in  the  right  either,  be  bat 
it  but  to  be  very  loud.  Nov  tei 
they  are,  have  some  things  in:  i 
the  canine  species.  Go  into. a 
you  will  observe  that  when  one  i 
yelp,  every  dog^s  ear  catches  the  wc 
up,  and  every  throat  is  opened  i 
emulation.  Captain  Reud  talked 
as  loud,  so  he  was  nearly  upon  a 
opponents,  who  only  talked  loud. 

At  the  other  end  of  the  table  tl 
two  to  one,  which  is  not  always 


BATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.      ISl 

paid  to  naval  diacifdiiie — as  the  three  captafais. 
Both  fiarties  were  deacantuig  upon  pbgues. 

**  I  say,  sir,^  said  the  little  surgeon,  who 
was  the  eldest,  '*  it  is  not  infectious.  But  here 
comes  Dr.  Thompson.*" 

Now  the  orudite  doctor,  from  the  first,  had 
no  great  chance.  Captain  Reud  had  deter- 
rained  he  should  not  be  invalided.  The  two 
other  captains  cared  nothing  at  all  about  the 
matter^  but,  of  course,  would  not  be  so  impo- 
litic as  to  differ  from  their  superior  officer ; 
an  officer,  too,  of  large  interest,  and  the  Am- 
phytrion  of  the  day  ;  for,  when  they  had  per- 
formed those  duties  for  which  they  were  so  well 
fitted,  their  medical  ones,  they  were  to  dine 
on  the  scene  of  their  arduous  labours.  The 
eldest  surgeon  had  rather  a  bias  against  the 
doctor,  as  he  could  not  legally  put  M •  D. 
against  his  own  name.  The  next  in  seniority  was 
entirely  adverse  to  the  invaliding,  as,  without 
he  could  invalide  too,  he  would  have  to  go  to 
the  West  Indies  in  the  place  of  our  surgeon. 
The  youngest  was  indifferent  just  then  lo  any 

VOL.   II  o 


192  JUTTUN,  THE   EBKFJBR. 

jkbing  but  to  confute  the  other  two»  and  prove 
the  plague  iofectjous. 

<*  But  here  comes  Dr.  Thompson^-*!  Tl  ap- 
peal to  him,^  said  Don-infectum ;  but  the 
appeal  was  unfortunate,  both  for  the  appealer 
and  the  doctor.  The  latter  was  an  infectionist, 
so  there  was  no  longer  any  odds,  but  two 
against  two,  and  away  they  went.  Our  iiieod 
ijo  the  wide  coat  forgot  he  was  sick,  and  his 
adversaries  that  they  had  to  verify  it  They 
sought  to  verify  nothing  but  their  dogmas. 
They  waxed  loud,  then  cuttingly  polite,  then 
slaughteringly  sarcastic,  and,  at  last,  exceed- 
ing wroth. 

*^  I  tell  you,  sir,  that  I  have  written  a  volume 
on  the  subject.^ 

^^  Had  you  no  friend  near  you,'^  said  Dr. 
Thompson,  **  at  that  most  unfortunate  time  ?'^ 

**  I  tell  you,  sir,  I  will  never  argue  with  any 
one  on  the  subject,  unless  he  have,  read  my 
Latin  treatise  ^  De  Natura  Pestium  et  Pestilen- 


tiarum.' " 


*^  Then  you  ^11  never  argue  but  with  your- 
self,^' said  the  stout  young  surgeon. 


RATTLIN,  THE   REEFER.  183 

Then  arose  the  voices  of  the  men  militant 
over  those  of  the  men  curative. 

**  The  finest  eye,''  vociferated  our  skipper, 
"  Captain  Templar,  that  ever  beamed  from 
mortal.  Its  lovely  blue,  contrasted  with  her 
white  skin,  is  just  like — V 

**  A  washer-woman's  stone-blue  bag  among 
her  soapsuds— stony  enough.'' 

Here  the  medical  voices  preponderated,  and 
expressions  such  as  these  became  distinct — 
**  Do  you  accuse  me  of  ignorance,  sir-r-r  ?" 

"  No,  sir-r-r.  I  merely  assert  that  you  know 
nothing  at  all  of  the  matter.*" 

In  the  midst  of  this  uproar  I  was  walking 
the  quarter-deck  with  the  purser. 

^'  What  a  terrible  noise  they  are  making  in 
the  cabin,"  I  observed.  "  What  can  they  be 
doing  ?" 

*^  Invaliding  the  surgeon,*"  said  the  marine 
officer,  who  had  just  joined  us,  looking  wise. 

"  Doubted,"  said  the  purser. 

**  "What  a  dreadful  operation  it  must  be," 
saidayoung  Irish  young — gentleman,  (all  young 
gentlemen  in  the  navy  are  not  youngs)  '*  but, 

o2 


I2if  &ATTLIN,  TBR  ttXEMIL 

icor  the  honour  of  the  servioe^  h»laQiglit^%ake  it 
aiqr  any  how,  for  the  life  of  him.'*    ^ 

^<  The  very  thnig  he  is  trying  tb  do,^  was  die 
purser^s  reply. 

But  let  us  return  to  the  cabin  and  collect 
what  we  can  hear,  and  record  the  senten^  as 
they  obtain  the  mastery,  at  either  end  of  the 
table. 

'*  Look  at  her  step,^  said  a  captain  speak- 
ing of  his  lady. — ^'  Tottering,  feeble^  aig-tagi** 
said  a  surgeon,  speaking  of  one  stricken  with 
the  plague.  —  "  Her  fine  open  ivory  brow''  — 
^*  Is  marked  all  over  with  disgustfang  pustules.^ 
— "  Her  breath  is— oh !  her  delicious  breath  P 
"  Noisome,  poisonous,  corruption.^ — ►**  In  fact, 
her  whole  lovely  body  is  a  region  of  .  .  ** — 
*^  Pestilent  discolorations,  and  foul  sores.'*^— - 
"  And,''  roared  out  Captain  Templar,  *•  if  you 
would  but  pass  a  single  hour  in  her  company 
.  .  ."—-*'  You  would  assuredly  repent  of  your 
temerity,^  said  the  obstinate  oontagionist^    • 

This  confusion  lasted  about  a  quarter  dt  an 
hour,  a  time  sufficient,  in  all  conscience,  toia- 
valide  a  West  Indian  regiment  •■'■■■. 


...--  -i  • 


E^TTUN,  THE  mEEPEft.  VIS 

f^  Wdl|  gentlemen,'*  sakl  Captain  Reud, 
rising,  a  little  chafed,  *<  have  you  come  to  a 
oondusion  upon  thisTery  plain  case  f  I  see  the 
doctor  looks  better  already,  his  face  is  no  longer 
pale.** 

:  '*  I  tdl  you  what,^  said  the  senior  surgeon, 
rising  abruptly  with  the  others,  *' since  you 
will  neither  listen  to  me,  to  reason,  nor  to  my 
book,  though  I  will  not  answer  for  the  sanity  of 
your  mind,  I  will  for  that  of  your  body.  My 
duly,  sir,  my  duty,  will  not  permit  me  to  inva- 
lide  you." 

'*  Never  saw  a  healthier  man  in  my  life,^  said 
the  second  surgeon. 

•*  Never  mind,  doctor,**  said  the  third,  "  we 
have  fairly  beaten  them  in  the  argument.*" 

The  gallant  captains  burst  out  into  obstrepe- 
rous laughter,  and  so  the  survey  was  broken  up, 
and  the  principal  surgeons  declared  that  our 
poor  doctor  was  in  sound  health,  because  they 
found  him  unsound  in  his  opinions. 

The  three  surgeons  took  their  departure,  the 
eldest  saying,  with  a  grim  smile  to  Thompson, 
**  It  may  correct  some  errors,  and  prepare  you 


126  RATTLIN,   TBS    RBRnOt.; 

for  next  invaHding  day. '  Shall  I  tend  y6ti  my 
book,  ^De  Natura  Pestiun  et  Petdleatts^ 
rum  ?•  '* 

The  jolly  doctor,  with  a  smile  ^uaUy  grim, 
thanked  him,  and  formally  declined  the  gift, 
assuring  him  '*  that,  at  the  present  timey  the 
ship  was  well  stocked  with  etnetios.'* 

Now  the  good  doctor  was  a  wag,  and  the  cap* 
tain,  for  fun,  a  very  monkey.  The  aqpiraat 
for  invaliding  sate  himself  down  again  at  the  one 
end  of  the  table,  as  the  captains  did  at  the 
other.  Wines,  anchovies,  bandwiches,  oysters, 
and  other  light  and  stimulating  viands  were 
produced  to  make  a  relishing  lunch.  Captain 
Reud  threw  a  triumphant  and  right  meny 
glance  across  the  table  on  the  silent  and  dis- 
comfited doctor.  The  servant  had  placed  be- 
fore him  a  cover  and  glasses  unbidden. 

'*  Bring  the  doctor^s  plate,^  said  the  captain. 
The  doctor  was  passive — the  plate  was  brought, 
filled  with  luxuries,  and  placed  directly  under 
his  nose.  The  temptation  was  terriUe.  He 
had  been  fasting  and  macerating  himself^  £[« 
eight  or  nine  days.     He  ghtfed  upon  it  with  a 


lUTTLIM^  THE   BMEVEtU  187 

gloomy  kmging;  He  theii  looked  up  wistfully^ 
and  a  droll  smile  Mantled  across  his  rast  &oe» 
and  eddied  in  the  holes  of  his  deep  poek- 
marks. 

*^  A  glass  of  wine,  doctor  ?^  The  decanter 
was  pushed  before  him,  and  his  glass  filled  by 
the  servant.  The  doctor  shook  his  head  and 
said,  *^  I  dare  not,  but  will  put  it  to  my  lips  in 
ccMirteqf**" 

He  did  so^  and  when  the  glass  reached  the 
table  it  was  empty.  He  then  began  gradually 
to  unwind  his  huge  woollen  comforter,  and  when 
he  thought  himself  unobserved,  he  stole  the  en« 
cumbrance  into  his  ample  coat-pocket.  He 
next  proceeded  to  toss  about,  with  a  careless 
abstraction,  the  large  masses  of  cold  fowl  and 
ham  in  his  plate,  and*  by  some  unidiaginable 
process,  without  the  use  of  his  knife,  he  con- 
trived to  separate  them  into  edible  pieces. 
They  disappeared  rapidly,  and  the  plate  was 
almost  as  socm  empty  as  the  wine  glass.  The 
green  shade^  by  some  unaccountable  accident, 
now  fell  from  his  eyes,  and,  instead  of  again 
fixing  it  on,  it  found  its  way  to  the  pocket,  to 


Irtep  company  with  tbe'  contfbrter/  '  Neir'Whfi 
stood  a  dish  of  delicious  oyster^,  th^  irlii^'  £e 
rikntly  coaxed  towards  his  empty ^  plate,  and 
sent  the  contents  fartively  down  Ills  mtich 
wronged  throat. 

The  other  gentlemen  watched  these  opera- 
tions with  mute  delight,  and,  after  a  space. 
Captain  Templar  challenged  him  to  a  bumper, 
which  was  taken  and  swallowed  without  much 
squeamishness.  The  doctor  foiind  that  he  had 
still  a  difficult  task  to  play  ;  he  knew  that  his 
artifice  was  discovered,  and  that  the  best  way 
to  repair  the  error  was  to  boldly  throw  off  the 
transparent  disguise.  The  presence  of  the  two 
stranger  captains  was  still  a  restraint  upon  him. 
At  length,  he  cast  his  eyes  upon  Captain  Reud, 
and  putting  into  his  countenance  the  drollest 
look  of  deprecation  mingled  with  fun,  said 
plaintively,  *'  Are  we  friends,  Captain  Reud  ?" 

"The  best  in  the  world,  doctor,**  was  the 
quick  reply,  and  he  rose  and  extended  his  open 
hand.  Doctor  Thompson  rose  also  and  ad- 
vanced to  the  head  of  the  table,  and  they  shook 
hands  most  heartily.    The  two  other  captains 


bcjgged  to^do  the  sanie,  and  tft.  congratulate  iaqi 
on  his  rapid  conyal^scence^ .        '  .       t.  ^  -  ,.♦, 

*'  To  jprove  to  you^  doctor,  the  estimation  ia 
which  I  bold  you,  you  shaU  dine  with  us,  and 
we  'II  have  a  night  of  it,*^  said  the  skipper*.     - 

'^  Oh!  Captain  Beud,  Captain  Beud^consj^^r 
—really  I  jcannot  get  well  so  fast,  as  that  would: 
indicate/V  .  > 

«  You  must,  you  must.  Gentlemen,  no  snaq^ 
makes  better  punch.  Consider  the  punch, 
doctor.*' 

**  Truly,  that  alters  the  case.  As  these  dolts 
of  surgeons  could  not  fully  understand  the 
diagnostics  of  my  disease,  I  suppose  I  must  do 
my  duty  for  the  leeile  while  longer  that  I  have 
to  live.  I  will  do  my  duty,  and  attend  you 
punctually  at  five  oVlock,  in  order  to  see  that 
there  be  no  deleterious  ingredients  mingled  in 
the  punch.^  Saying  which  he  bowed  and  left 
the  cabin,  without  leaning  on  the  should^  of 
either  of  his  assistants. 

jBut  he  had  yet  the  worst  ordeal  to  undergorr , 
to.bra^ve  the  attack  of  his  messmates — ^and  h^ 
did  it  nobly.    They  were  all  assembled  in  the 

06 


130  SATTLIK^  TBS  HUFSlU 

ward-room,  for  those  that  tair  Imii  ieBctmA^it 
not  there  before,  went  imnediatefy  nid  joiaerf 
him.  He  waddled  to  the  head  of  the  taUe^  and 
when  seated,  exdaimed  in  a  steatbrian  Toioey 
**  Steward,  a  glass  of  half-and-half.  Oetitle- 
men,  I  presume  yon  do  dot  undertftaod  a 
m^ical  case.  Stewaid^  bring  mj  case  of 
pistols  and  the  cold  meat.  I  say,  you  do  ilot 
understand  a  medical  case.^ 

**  But  we  do  yours,^    interrupted  two  or 
three  voices  at  once. 

^'  No,  you  don't ;  you  may  understand  that 
case  better,^  shoving  his  long-barrelled. Mantoti 
duellers  on  to  the  middle  of  the  table.  '*  Now, 
gentlemen — I  do  not  mean  to  bully — I  am  only, 
Ood  help  me,  a  weak  civil  arm  of  the  service,^ 
— and  whining  a  little  —  **  still  very  fiir  fix>m 
well.  Now,  I  '11  state  my  case  to  you,  for  your 
satisfaction,  and  to  prevent  any  little  mistakes. 
I  was  lately  afflicted  with  a  sort  of  nondescript 
atrophy,  a  stagnation  of  the  fluids,  a  congestion 
on  the  small  blood-vessels,  and  a  spasmodic  con- 
traction of  the  finitesimal  nerves,  that  threaten- 
ed very  serious  consequences.     At  the  survey, 


RATTLIN,  THE  KBBFBJK.  181 

two  of  the  BurgaoDs,  ignoTMit  quacks  that  tbej 
are,  broached  a  most  ridiculous  opinion— a 
heterodox  doctrine — a  damnable  heresy.  On 
hearing  it,  my  indignatimi  was  so  much  roused, 
that  a  reaction  took  plade  in  my  system,  a^ 
instantaneous  as  the  effects  of  a  galvanic  bat- 
tery. My  Tital  energies  rallied,  the  stagnation 
of  my  fluids  ceased,  the  small  blood-vessels  that 
had  mutinied  returned  to  their  duty  ;  and  I  am 
happy  to  say,  that,  though  now  far  from  enjoy- 
ing good  health,  I  am  rapidly  approaching  it. 
That  is  my  case.  Now  for  yours.  As,  gentle- 
men, we  are  to  be  cooped  up  in  this  wooden 
indosure,  for  months,  perhaps  years,  it  is  4 
duty  that  we  owe  to  ourselves  to  promote  the 
happiness  of  each  other  by  good  temper,  polite- 
ness, mutual  forbearance,  and  kindness.  In 
none  of  these  shall  you  find  me  wanting,  and,  to 
prove  it,  I  will  say  this  much — singular  cases 
will  call  forth  singular  remarks ;  you  must  be 
aware  that  if  such  be  dwelt  on  too  long,  they 
will  become  offensive  to  me,  and  disturb  that 
union  which  I  am  so  anxious  to  promote.  So 
let  us  have  done  with  the  subject  at  once^- 


^^  by  mat  time  i  snaii  navu  uiubucu  u 
which,  by-the^bye,  I  began  in  the  cab 
will  be  sufficient  time  for  you  to  say 
smart  things  on  the  oocasion  ;  but  if ; 
I  hear  any  more  on  the  subject  bj 
that  man  who  shall. dare  to  twit  me 
shaU  go  with  me  immediately  to  th 
shore  if  in  harbour — or  shoot  me,  c 
across  the  table,  if  at  sea.  Now,  g 
begin  if  you  please.^ 

"  The  devil  a  word  will  I  ever  utt 
matter,^  said  Farmer,  *^  and  there  ^s 
upon  it." 

"  Nor  1."' 

"  Nor  1.'' 

And  every  messmate  shook  him  h< 
the  hand,  and  by  them  the  subject  wai 
and  for  ever.     That  evenini;  Dr.  1 


RMTLDly  THE  JtSEFBfti 


ISS 


WhatevBr  knpresrion  tMg  anecdote  niirf  midie 
on  the  raider,  if  it  be  one  ingarioUB  to  the 
doctdlr^  we  beg  to  tell  him,  that  he  proved  a 
very  bletsing  to  the  ship*— the  kind  fiiend<  as 
weU  as  the  skilful  and  tend^  physician,  the 
promoter  of  every  social  enjoyment,  the  soother 
oi  conflicting  passions,  the  interoeder  for  the 
l^  and  the  peacemaker  for  all. 


CHAPTER  XI. 

Paving-stones  sometimes  prove  stnmblin^^^ 
disquisition  on  the  figuiatiTe,  ends  bj  Ral 
at  ibe  mastpbead,  thus  extending  his  iriew 
subject 

The  next  morning,  at  daylight,  we  wei, 
by  the  aid  of  much  firing  of  guns,  an 
[day  pf  unmeasured  bunting,  we  got 
of  the  convoy  out  of  the  cove  by  noon 
men-of-war  brigs  bringing  up  the  rear, 
after  losing  sight  of  land,  bad  weathei 

t«  wKinK  nt%nr  C^nh\nnn  was  drowned* 


RATTLIN,  THE   RBBFER.  196 

and  formed  that  concentrated  principle  which 
enabled  them  to  act  as  one  man.  It  was  a 
young  and  fine  crew^  made  up  of  drafts  of 
twenties  and  thirties,  from  different  vessels, 
thanks  to  the  nepotism  of  the  treasurer  of  the 
naVy. 

We  also  hegtai  to  understand  each  other's  cha- 
racters,  and  to  study  the  captain's*  Mischief 
was  his  besetting  sin.  Naturally  malignant  he 
was  not,  but  inconsiderate  to  a  degree  that  would 
make  yoti  think  that  his  heart  was  really  bad. 
One  of  his  greatest  pleasures  was  that  of  placing 
people  in  awkward  and  ludicrous  situations.  He 
very  soon  discovered  the  fattest  men,  among 
the  masters  of  the  merchant  vessels ;  and,  when 
we  had  run  far  enough  to  the  southward 
to  make  sitting  in  an  open  boat  very  unpleasant, 
he  would,  in  light  winds,  make  a  signal  for  one 
of  his  jolly  friends  to  come  on  board,  the  more 
especially  if  he  happened  to  be  far  astern. 
Then  began  Captain^s  Reud's  enjoyment.  After 
two  hours^  hard  pulling,  the  master  would  be 
seen  coming  up  astern,  >iping  his  brows,  and, 
when  within  hail,  Reud  would  shout  to  him  to 


failure,  the  captain  meanwhile  gloating 
poor  man'^s  misery  with  the  suppresse 
of  delight,  in  which  you  would  fancy 
to  indulge  after  he  had  perpetrated  so: 
rable  mischief.  .  ^ 

However,  he  would  generally  t^fW^- 
no  longer  than  dinner-time.  Tli|e>  A 
then  be  effectually  hove-to,  the...,  h^ 
skipper  would  get  on  board,  and  th 
receive  him  with  studied  politenesa 
would  I  admire  the  gravity  with  i 
would  deplore  the  impossibility  of  atq 
Majesty^s  ship  Eos,  by  anything  shk 
anchor  and  good  holding  ground*  , 
would  not  be  hove-to — ^go  a-head,  or  | 
she  must — but  stand  still  she  could  oc 
ii^  this  baranguev  the  mystified  marin 


> 

coiititiue,***U  i»  now  nearly  six  bdls— jroii  haVe  ■ 
not  dined,  I  presume ;  how  long  bave  jou  beetir 
making  this  little  distance^   Mister  Stnbbs?^' 
with  a  slow  accent  on  the  word  Mister.    *'  Six 
hours ! — bless  me — I  would  certainly  rope's-asd ' 
those  lubbers  in  your  boat.      You  must  h^'- 
hungry-^ so  must  they,  poor  fellows!    H^e; 
Mr.    Rattlin,    call    them    up,    put    a   boat- 
keeper  in  the  boat,  and  let  her  drop  astern' 
-r-tdl  my  steward  to  give  them  a  good  tuck- 
out   and   a  glass   of  grog.      Mister  Stubbs,' 
you'll  dine  with  me.*^    And  the  affair  would 
end  by  the  gratified  hoaxed  one  being  sent  on 
board  his  own  vessel  about  the  end  of  twilight, 
seeing  more  stars  in   the  heavens  than  astro- 
nomers have  yet  discovered. 

But  these  skippers  were,  though  very  plump, 
but  very  humble  game  for  our  yellow-skinned 
tormentor.  He  nearly  drove  the  third  lieute*- 
nant  mad,  and  that  by  a  series  of  such  delicate 
persecutions,  annoyances  so  artfully  veiled,  and 
administered  in  a  manner  so  gentlemanly,  that 
complaint  on  the  part  of  the  persecuted,  instead 
of  exciting  commiseration,  covered  him -with 


had  entered  our  service  at  a  ver 
consequently  spoke  our  languagi 
ourselves.     He  was  surnamed  * 
and,  when  off  duty,  geneTBU; 
It  must  not  be  supposed  tlwt  li 
sobriquet  on  account  <rf  thegortl 
Tcyi  laying  by  their  Tammttt  «1 
the  street,  bidding  Ood  Uess  Ua 
ligbt  and  elegant  figure,  and  A 
some.     At  this  time,  I  was  the  y< 
watch,  and  a  great  favourite  «i 
miaifortune  of  his  life  was,  that  li 
a  book  —  only  one  single  sin — bi 
him — it  haunted  him  throu^  i 
In  the  service,  and  finally  drov4  I 
He  had  written  this  book,  and  e 
printed  — and  hepubliihtd  it  also 


RATTLIN,  THX   RBEFBSr.  ISO 

weighty  idiieh  ctaeB  Uboured  tmder  the  abonii» 
nable  suspicion  df  containiiig  the  unacdd 
copies. 

As  much  as  ever  I  could  learn  of  the  matter, 
noone  ever  got  fiulher  than  the  middle  of  the 
second  page  of  this  v(dume,  excepting  the 
printer^s  devils,  the  corrector  of  the  press,  and 
the  author.  The  book  was  lent  to  me,  but, 
great  reader  as  I  am,  I  broke  down  in  attempt-* 
ing  to  pass  the  impassable  passage.  The  book 
might  have  been  a  good  book,  for  aught  I,  or 
the  world,  knew  to  the  contrary :  but  there  was 
a  fatality  attending  this  particular  part,  that 
was  really  enough  to  make  one  superstitious — 
nobody  could  break  the  charm,  and  get  over  it. 
I  wish  that  the  thought  had  occurred  to  me 
at  that  time,  of  beginning  it  at  the  end,  and 
reading  it  backwards ;  surely,  in  that  manner, 
the  book  might  have  been  got  through.  It 
was  of  a  winning  exterior,  and  a  tolerable 
thickness.  Never  did  an  unsound  nut  look 
more  tempting  to  be  cracked,  than  this  volume 
to  be  opened  and  read.  It  had  for  its  title  the 
impoeing  sentence  of,  ^^  A  Naval  and  Military 


got   things  to  rights  after  leaving 
Mr.  Silva  began,  ''  as   was   his  ci 
afterooon/^  to  publish  his  book, 
leave  to  read  it  to  his  messmates 
and  leave  was  granted.    With  blai 

he  insisted  upon  the  opinions  of 

•  

as  he  proceeded.      He  began— -1 
purser  at  onoe  started  an  objectioi 
sentence — yea,  even  to  the  title, 
to  be  enlightened  as  to  what  sort 
was  that  merely  went  up  and  down 
the  doctor  came  at  this  crisis  to  t 
of  the  Don,  and  suggested  that  tht 
have  turns  in  it     The  reader  sees 
we  are  in  a  man-of-war. 

However,  in  the  middle  of  the 
appeared    the  fatal  nassaire.    <<  A 


JIATTUN,  THE    REBFBR.  141 

purser,  and^on  this  point)  the  doctor  went  orer 
to  the  enemy.  All  the  lieutenants  foUowed,  the 
iQMter  stood  neuter,  and  the  marine  officer  fell 
asleep—^thuS'poor  SiWa  stood  alone  in  his  glory, 
to  fight  the  unequal  battle ;  and,  in  doing  so, 
after  the  manner  of  authors,  lost  his  temper. 
\  Five,  six,  seven  times  was  the  book  begun, 
but,  like  the  hackney  coaches,  the  audience 
jQOuld  not  get  cff  the  stones.  The  book 
and  the  discussion  were  always  closed  toge- 
ther in  anger,  just  as  the  author  was  paving 
hU  way.  As  he  adopted  the  phrase  with  a 
parental  fondness,  the  father  was  called  the 
**  paviourJ^ 

All  this  duly  reached  the  ears  of  the  captain. 
He  immediately  wrote  to  Don  Silva,  requesting 
his  company  to  dinner,  particularly  soliciting 
him  to  bring  his  excellent  work.  Of  course, 
the  little  man  took  care  to  have  the  doctor  and 
purser.  The  claret  is  on  the  table,  the  Amphy- 
trton  settles  himself  into  a  right  critical  attitude, 
but  with  a  most  suspicious  leer  in  the  comer  of 
his  eye.  Our  friend  b^ns  to  read  his  book 
ezultingly,  but,  at  the  memorable  passage,  as 


&rJi 


143  RATTLIN,  THE   RBBFBR* 

was  previously  ooDcerted,  the  hue  and  cry  is 
raised. 

During  the  jangling  of  argument,  Reud  seems 
undecided,  and  observes  that  he  can  only  judge 
the  matter  from  well  understanding  the  previous 
style  and  the  context,  and  so,  evary  now  and 
then,  requests  him,  with  a  most  persuasive 
politeness,  to  b^n  again  from  the  beginning. 
Of  course,  he  gets  no  farth^  than  the  paving. 
After  the  baited  author  had  re-read  his  page 
and-a-half  about  six  or  seven  times,  the  captain 
smiles  upon  him  lovingly,  and  says,  in  his  most 
insinuating  tones,  *^  Just  read  it  over  again  once 
more,  and  we  shall  never  trouble  you  after — ^we 
shall  know  it  by  heart.^ 

As  it  was  well  understood  that  the  author 
was  never  to  get  beyond  that  passage  until  he 
had  acknowledged  it  absurd  and  egregiously 
foolish,  any  body  who  knows  any  thing  about  the 
genus  irritabiky  will  be  certain,  that  if  he  lived 
till  ^*  the  crack  of  doom,^  Don  Silva  would 
never  have  passed  the  Rubicon.  It  was  thus 
that  the  poor  fellow  was  tormented :  and  every 
time  that  he  was  asked  to  dine  in  the  cabin,  he 


MJkTtLUff  THE   RBBPBR.  143 

WAS   requested  to  Ining  bis   Tour^  in  order 
that  the  whole  of  it  might  be  read. 

The  b^t  apd  mogt  imposiiig  manner  of  writ- 
angi  i»  to  lay  down  some  wise  dogma,  and  after- 
wards prove  it  by  example.  I  shall  follow  this 
august  method. — It  is  unwise  for  a  midshipman 
to  argue  with  the  Ueutanant  of  the  watch, 
whilst  there  are  three  lofty  mastheads  unoocu- 
piod.    Q.  X.  n. 

One  morning,  after  a  literary  skirmish  in  the 
captain^s  cabin  the  overnight,  Mr.  Silva  smiled 
me  over  to  him  on  his  side  of  the  quarter-deck, 
just  as  day  was  breaking.  The  weather  was 
beautiful,  and  we  had  got  well  into  the  trade 
winds. 

*^  Mr.  Rattlin,^  said  he,  ^^  you  have  not  yet 
read  my  book.  You  are  very  young,  but  you 
have  had  a  liberal  education.'^ 

I  bowed  with  flattered  humility. 

^*  I  will  lend  it  to  you — you  shall  read  it : 
and,  as  a  youthful,  yet  a  clever  scholar,  give 
me  your  opinion  of  it — be  candid.  I  suppose 
you  have  heard  the  trivial,  foolish,  spiteful  ob- 
jection started  against  a  passage  I  have  em- 


^^ . ,     — _   

ficatory  argument,  the  gravamen  of  w 
prove,  that  in  figurative  phrases  a  gr 
of  expression  was  not  only  admissibl 
elegant. 

I  begged  leave,  in  assenting  to  li 
to  differ  from  his  application  of  it,  a 
not  to  risk,  by  using  a  figurative  ezf 
exciting  of  any  absurd  images,  or  ci 
ideas.  The  author  began  to  warm, 
nated  my  gentle  representation  by  < 
over  to  leeward,  with  this  pompous 
tell  you  what,  sir,  your  friends  faavi 
money,  and  your  tutors  their  time,  \ 
little  purpose ;  for  know,  sir,  that  wl 
is  to  be  made  anywhere,  in  any  i 
any  manner,  a  more  appropriate  ] 
pavinjc  your  way  cannot  be  used— -6< 


M4m^Wffi:wR  KEEnSU 


MS 


men  ott  llie  taitlliiigt,  than  i  tqpiaak*  iMi^'iit 
the  top  of  my  Tcnee^  ^^  Po^e  ji^iMr  tmiy  lip  ilie 
riggiiig-«-»2Ni9e  yiour  «wy,  you  Ittbbers.^  TU 
men  stop  for  a  moment,  grin  at  me  with  asixH 
nisfament,  and  then  ecamper  up  like  «o  miiiry 
party-oolonred  derils/* 

**  Mr.  Rattlin,  pave  yonr  way  np  to  tlt^ 
mast-head,  and  stay  there  till  I  call  you  down,** 
said  the  angry  lieutenant ;  and  thus,  Uirough 
my  love  foff  the  figurative,  for  the  first  time  I 
tasted  the  delights  of  a  mast-heading. 


▼OL.  II. 


CHAPTER  XII. 


Ralph  regenerateth  himself,  and  becomelh  g) 
an  hour  —  Singeth  one  verae  of  a  hynu 
telling  one  lie,  and  getteth  his  reward  in 
to  breakfast. 


What  a  nice,  varied,  sentimenta 
lachrymose,  objurgatory,  laudatory, 
volume  might  be  made,  entitled,  **  1! 
at  the  Mast-head  !*' 

When    I   found    myself   comfort 
blished  in   my  aery  domicile,   I  fi 


111 


•*i- 


RATTUN^  THE  REEFBR.  147 

Perched  up  at  a  height  so  great,  the  decks  of 
the  frigate  looked  extremely  long  and  narrow ; 
and  the  foreshortened  view  one  has  of  those 
upon  ity  makes  them  look  but  little  bigger, 
or  more  important,  than  so  many  puppets. 
Beneath  me  I  saw  the  discontented  author  of 
my  elevation,  and  of  ''  A  Tour  up  and  down 
the  Rio  de  la  Plate,"  skipping  actively  here 
and  there,  to  avoid  the  splashing  necessary  in 
washing  the  decks.  I  could  not  help  compar- 
ing the  annoyance  of  this  involuntary  dance, 
with  the  afterguard,  this  croissez  with  clattering 
buckets,  and  dos  d  dosing  with  wet  swabs,  with 
my  comfortable  and  commanding  recumbency 
upon  the  cross-trees.  I  looked  down  upon 
Lieutenant  Silva,  and  pitied  him.  I  looked 
around  me,  and  my  heart  was  exceeding  glad. 
The  upper  rim  of  the  sun  was  dallying  with 
a  crimson  cloud,  whilst  the  greater  part  of  his 
disc  was  still  below  the  well-defined,  deep  blue 
horizon.  All  above  him,  to  the  zenith,  was 
chequered  with  small  vapours,  layer  over  layer, 
like  the  scales  of  a  breastplate  of  burnished 
gold.     The  little  waves  were  mantling,  dim- 

u2 


Ihe  blusbing  hue  of  a  rose-bnd, 
rlieie   wreathed   up  into   a   diii 
mocking  the  smile  of  youth  wl 
her  white  teeth  between  her  bef 
lips.     As  I  swung  aloft,  with  a 
as  tbat  of  the  cradled  in&ot,  ai 
upon  the  splendours  beneath  am 
my  bosom   swelled   with   the   nu 
emotions.      Every  where,    as  &i 
could   reach,   the  transparent  an 
waters  were  speckled  with  white  • 
"  blushing  rosy-red  "  with  the  moi 
Far,  f^r  astern,  hull  down,  were  tt 
sailers,  spreading  all  their  staddinf 
winds,  reminding  me  of  frightened 
expanded  wings.      Conspicuous  ■ 
were  the  two  men-of-war  brigs,  ol 


RATTLIN^  THE  RBEFER.       l49 

ing  and  shifting.   They  were  the  hawks  among 
the  covey  of  the  larger  white-plumed  birds. 

At  this  moment  our  gallant  frigate^  like  a 
youthful  and  a  regal  giant,  more  majestic  from 
the.  lightness  of  her  dress,  walked  in  conscious 
superiority  in  the  midst  of  all.  She  had,  as  I 
before  mentioned,  just  set  her  topgallant  sails, 
in  order  to  take  her  proud  station  in  the 
van.  We  now  passed  vessel  after  vessel,  each 
with  a  different  quantity  of  canvass  set,  accord- 
ing to  her  powers  of  sailing.  It  was  altogether 
a  glorious  sight,  and,  to  my  feelings,  excelled 
in  quiet  and  cheerful  sublimity  any  review, 
however  splendid  might  be  the  troops,  or  im- 
posing their  numbers.  Then  the  breeze  came 
so  freshly  and  kissingly  on  my  cheek,  whisper- 
ing such  pleasant  things  to  my  excited  fancy, 
and  invigorating  so  joyously  the  fibres  of  my 
heart — I  looked  around  me,  and  was  glad. 

When  the  soul  is  big  with  all  good  and  pure 
feelings,  gratitude  will  be  there ;  and,  at  her 
smiling  invitation,  piety  will  come  cheerfully 
and  dasp  her  hand.  Surely  not  that  sectarian 
piety,  which  metes  out  wrath  instead  of  mercy 


150      RATTLIN^  THE  REEFER. 

ta  an  erring  world ;  not  that  piety,  deaiiog 
'' damnation  round  the  land/'  daOy  making 
the  pale,  within  which  the  only  ft  w  to  be  Baved 
are  folded,  more  and  mor^  eircamflcribed ;  nor 
even  that  bigoted,  sensaoos  pieiy,  which  floats 
on  the  frankincense  that  eddies  round  the 
marble  altar^  and  which,  if  tenasisiated  by  the 
vista  of  the  dark  aisle,  the  dinriy-seeii  pro- 
cession, the  choral  hymn,  the  banner,  and  the 
relic,  faints,  and  sees  no  God  :  no,  none  of 
these  will  be  the  piety  of  a  heart  ^:ultiiig  in  the 
beneficence  of  the  All-Good.  Then  aiid  there, 
why  should  I  have  wished  to  have  crept  axid 
grovelled  under  piled  and  sordid  stoRe?  Since 
first  the  aspiring  architect  spanned  the  arch  at 
Thebes,  which  is  not  everlasting,  and  lifted  the 
column  at  Rome,  which  is  not  immortal,  was 
there  ever  dome  like  that  which  glowed  over 
my  head  imagined  by  the  braia  of  man? 
**  Fretted  with  golden  fires,**  and  studded  with 
such  glorious  clouds,  that  it  were  almost  sinfhl 
not  to  believe  that  each  veiled  an  angel ;  the 
vast  concave,  based  all  around  upon  the  np- 
phire  horizon,   sprang  upwards,   terminating 


.  RATTLIN^  THE  REEFER.  ^Al 

»bave  me  in  that  deepy.deep,  immetsumUe 
blue,  the  best  type  of  eternity  f^^  was  not  this 
a  fittii^  temple  for  worship  ?  What  frankin- 
cense was  ever  equal  to  that  whkdi  nature  then 
spread  over  thd.  wave  and  through  the  air^? 
All  this  I  saw -rail  this  I  felt.  I  looked  up- 
wards, and  I. was  at  once  enraptured  and  hum- 
bled. Perhaps  then,  for  the  first  time  since  I 
had  left  my  schoolboy's  haunts,  I  bethought 
me  that  there  was  a  Gkxl.  .  Tbo,  too  often  I 
had  heard  his  awful  presence  wantonly  invoked, 
his  sacred  name  taken  in  vain.  Lately,  I  had 
jdot  shuddered  at  this  habitual  pro&nation. 
The  work  of  demoralisation  had  commenced. 
I  knew  it  then,  and,  with  this  knowledge,  the 
first  pang  of  guilty  shame  entered  my  bosom. 
I  stood  up  with  reverence  upon  the  cross-trees. 
I  took  off  my  hat ;  and  though  I  did  not  even 
whisper  the  prayers  we  had  used  at  school, 
mentally  I  went  through  the  whole  of  them. 
When  I  said  to  myself,  '*  I  have  done  those 
things  that  I  ought  not  to  have  done,  and  have 
left  undotie  those  things  that  I  ought  to  have 
done,"  I  was  startled  at  the  measure  of  sin 


^ 


152  KATTUS,  TEE  |U|SBFBR« 

that  I  liad  oon£BMecL  I  think  Ihftt Iww  Am- 
trite.  I  resolved  to  amend.  I  gradually  flung 
off  the  hardneee  that  my  late  life  of  v&ckdeah 
nesB  had  been  encrusting  upon  my  heart.  I 
softened  towards  all  who  had  erer  shewn  me 
kindness;  and,  in  my  mind,  I  fiuthfidly  re- 
traced the  last  time  that  I  had  ever  walked 
to  church  with  her  whom  I  had  been  fond  to 
deem  my  mother.  These  silent  devotioin^and 
these  home-harmonized  thoughts,  firstchastened, 
and  then  made  me  very,  very  happy.  At  last, 
I  felt  the  spirit  of  blissful  serenity  so  strong 
upon  me,  that,  forgetting  for  a  moment  to 
what  ridicule  I  might  subject  myself,  I  began 
to  sing  aloud  that  morning  hymn  that  I  had 
never  omitted,  for  so  many  years,  until  I  had 
joined  the  service — 

"  Awake,  my  soul,  and  with  the  sun.^ 

And  I  confess  that  I  sang  the  whole  of  the 
first  verse. 

I  am  sure  that  no  one  will  sneer  at  all  this. 
The  good  will  not — the  wicked  dare  not.  The 
worst  of  us,  even  if  his  sin  have  put  on  ttie 


EAttLIN^  THE  RBBFBIt.  153 

armoar  of  infidelity,  must  remember  the  time 
when  he  faeUeved  in  a  Grod  of  lore,  and  lored 
to  believe  it.  For  the  sake  of  that  period  of 
happiness,  he  will  not,  cannot  condemn  the 
expression  of  feelings,  and  the  manifestation 
of  a  bliss  that  he  has  himself  voluntarily,  and, 
if  he  would  ask  his  own  heart,  and  record  the 
answer,  miserably,  cast  away. 

However,  it  will  be  long  before  I  again 
troaUe  the  reader  with  any  thing  so  outre  as 
that  which  I  have  just  written.  Many  were 
the  days  of  error,  and  the  nights  of  sin,  that 
passed  before  I  again  even  looked  into  my  own 
heart.  The  feelings  with  which  I  made  ray 
mast-head  orisons  are  gone,  and  for  ever.  How 
often,  and  with  what  bitterness  of  spirit,  have 
I  said,  ''  Would  that  I  had'  then  died  !"  If 
there  is  mercy  in  heaven — I  say  it  with  rever- 
ence— I  feel  assured  that  then  to  have  passed 
away,  would  have  been  but  the  closing  of  the 
eyes  on  earth  to  awaken  immediately  in  the 
lap  of  a  blissful  immortality.  Since  then  the 
world's  foot  has  been  upon  my  breast,  fmd  I 
have  writhed  under  the  opprobrious  weight? 

h5 


*-•>. 


164      RATTLIN^  THE  RBEFBH. 

andy  with  sinful  pride  and  adf^tnist,  hare, 
though  groYelling  in  the  duat,  returned  aeom 
for  scorn,  and  injurj  for  injury — eren  wrong 
for  wrong. 

I  have  been  a  sad  cbg,  and  that's  the  truth  ; 
but 

I  have  been  forced  to  hunt,  and  to  house, 
and  to  howl  with  dogs  much  worse  than  my- 
self, and  that's  equally  true. 

<<  Maintopmast  head  there,"  squeaked  out 
the  very  disagreeable  treble  of  Captain  Reud, 
who  had  then  come  on  deck,  as  I  was  troll- 
ing, **  Shake  off  dull  sloth,  and  early  rise.'* 
"  Mr.  Rattlin,  what  do  you  say?" 

"  Ay,  ay,  sir." 

"  Ay,  ay,  sir  !  what  were  you  saying  ?  How 
many  sails  are  there  in  sight  ?" 

**  I  can't  make  out,  sir." 

"  Why  not  ?     Have  you  counted  them  ?" 

Now,  as  I  before  stated,  I  had  taken  off  my 
hat,  and  was  standing  up  in  a  fit  of  natural 
devotion ;  and  the  captain,  no  doubt,  thought 
that  I  was  bareheaded,  and  shading  my  eyes, 
the  better  to  reckon  the  convoy.  '  To  lie  would 


IBkAHTUH,  THE  REBPfilU  ISS 

have  been  so  easy,  and  I  was  tempted-  to  reply 
to  the  qaestioxr,  ,tbat  I  had.  But  my  better 
feeiixigs  predominated ;  so,  at  the  risk  of  a 
reprimand,  I  answered,  *'  Not  yet,  sir." 

At  this  moment  Mr.  Silva,  the  lieatenant  of 
the  watch,  placed  the  mast-head  look-outs,  and 
sent  the  signalman  up  to  assist  me  in  counting 
the  convoy;  and,  at  the  same  time,  the  latter 
bore  me  a  quiet  message,  that  when  the  num- 
ber was  ascertained  I  might  come  down. 

I  came  on  deck  and  gave  the  report.    . 

'*  I  am  very  glad,  Mr.  Rattlin,*'  said  the 
captain,  approvingly,  '^  to  see  you  so  attentive 
to  your  duty.  No  doubt  you  went  up  of  your 
own  accord  to  count  the  convoy  ?" 

'^  Indeed,  sir,"  said  I,  with  a  great  deal  of 
humility,  **  I  did  not." 

"  What — how?  I  thought  when  I  came  on 
deck  I  heard  you  singing  out." 

**  I  was  mast-headed,  sir." 

**  Mast-headed  !     How— for  what  ?" 

At  this  question,  revenge,  with  her  insidious 
breath,  came  whispering  her  venom  into  my  ear ; 
but  a  voice,  to  the  warnings  of  which  I  have  too 


nave  assureuiy  urawii  nuicuit^,  nu 
anger,  on  the  head  of  the  lieutenan 
probation  to  myself.  I  therefore  brie 
"  For  impertinence  to  Mr.  Silva,  sir. 

And  I  was  amply  repaid  by  the  elo 
that,  with  eyes  actually  moistened^  n 
secutor  cast  upon  me.     I  read  the  h 
and  knew,  from  that  moment,  thai 
serving  of  better  things  than  a  coai 
seeution,  for  having  unfortunately 
an  expression.    I  immediately  made 
I  would  read  the  *'  Tour  up  and  do' 
de  la  Plate  "  with  exemplary  assidui 

<«  I  am  glad,"  said  the  captain, 
candidly  acknowledge  your  ofience, 
disrespectfully  endeavouring  to  jus 
hope,  Mr.  Silva,  that  it  is  not  of  the 
nrApliidp.  niA  from  askincr  him  to  bre 


RATTLIN^  THE  REEFER.      15? 

I  understood  him ;  and  though  no  explana- 
tions ever  took  place  between  us,  we  were,  till 
he  was  driven  from  the  ship,  the  most  perfect 
friends. 

'*  Well,"  said  the  captain,  as  he  turned  to  go 
down  the  quarter-deck  ladder,  **  you  will,  at 
the  usual  time,  both  of  you,  pave  your  toay  into 
the  cabin.  I  am  sure,  Mr.  Silva,  you  won't 
object  to  that,  though  I  have  not  yet  made  up 
my  mind  as  to  the  propriety  of  the  expression, 
so  we'll  have  the  purser,  and  talk  it  over  in  a 
friendly,  good-humoured  way."  And  saying 
this,  he  disappeared,  with  a  look  of  merry  ma- 
lignancy that  no  features  but  his  own  could  so 
adequately  express. 

The  scene  at  the  breakfisist-table  was  of  the 
usual  description.  Authority,  masking  ill- 
nature  under  the  guise  of  quizzing,  on  the  one 
hand,  and  literary  obstinacy  fast  resolving  itself 
into  deep  personal  hostility  on  the  other. 


t68 


RAITLIN,  THE  REB^ft. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

« 

How  to  make  a  day's  work  easy  —  Ralph  avoideth 
trouble  by  anticipating  land,  but  is  anticipated  by 
the  enemy — A  chapter  altogether  of  chasing,  which 
it  is  hoped  will  pleasantly  chase  away  the  reader's 
ennui. 


We  now  had  the  usual  indications  of  approach- 
ing the  land.  In  fact,  I  had  made  it,  by  my 
reckoning,  a  fortnight  before.  The  non-nautical 
reader  must  understand,  that  the  young  gen- 
tlemen are  required  to  send  into  the  captain 
daily,  a  day's  work,  that  is,  an  abstract  of  the 
course  of  the  ship  for  the  last  twenty-four  hours, 
the  distance  run,  and  her  where-abouts  exactly. 
Now,  with  that  failing  that  never  left  me 


RATTLIN^  THE  RBfeFER.  159 

through  life,  of  feeling  no  intei^t  where  there 
was  no  difEicolty  to  overcsome,  after  I  had  folly 
conqaered  all  the  rarioua  methods  of  making 
this  calculation^  to  make  it  at  all  became  a  great 
bore.  So  I  clapped  on  more  steam,  and  giving 
the  ship  more  way,  and  allowing  every  day  for 
forty  or  fifty  miles  of  westerly  currents,  I,  by 
my  account,  ran  the  Eos  high  and  dry  upon 
the  Island  of  Barbadoes,  three  good  weeks 
before  we  made  the  land.  Thus,  I  had  the 
satisfaction  of  looking  on  with  placid  indolence, 
whilst  my  messmates  were  furiously  hahdling 
their  Grunter's  scales,  and  straining  their  eyes 
over  the  small  printed  figures  in  the  distance 
and  departure  columns  of  John  Hamilton  Moore, 
of  blessed  (cursed?)  memory,  in  a  cabin  over 
90  degrees  Fahrenheit,  that  was  melting  at  the 
same  time  the  youthful  navigator,  and  the  one 
miserable  purser's  dip  that  tormented  rather 
than  enlightened  him  with  its  flickering  yellow 
flame. 

As  we  neared  the  island,  greater  precautions 
were  taken  to  preserve  the  convoy.  We  sailed 
in  more  compact  order,  and  scarcely  progressed 


irt  all  daring  the  night.  The  whipperB-hi  were 
<m  the  alert,  for  it  was  well  known  that  this 
p9itt  of  the  Atlantic  was  iniSBsted  with  ninneroms 
dttiall  Fromdi  meti-of-war,  and  some  private^ 
sbhooners. 

-  l%at  mbmmg  at  length  arrived,  when  it  was 
debated  strongly  whether  the  faint  disoolonra- 
tion  that  broke  the  line  of  the  western  horisoii 
as  seen  from  the  mast-head,  were  land  or  not. 
As  daylight  became  more  decided,  so  did  the 
state  of  our  convoy.  The  wolves  were  hovering 
round  the  sheep.  Well  down  to  the  southward 
there  was  a  large  square-rigged,  three-masted 
vessel,  fraternizing  with  one  of  our  finest  West 
Indiamen.  The  stranger  looked  tall,  grim,  and 
dark,  with  his  courses  up,  but  his  top-gallant 
sails  and  royals  set.  The  white  sails  of  the 
merchant  vessel,  and  she  was  under  a  press  of 
sail,  were  flying  in  all  directions ;  she  was  hove 
to,  with  her  studding-sails  set,  and  many  of  her 
tacks  and  sheets  were  flapping  to  the  wind. 
Both  vessels  were  hull  down  from  the  deck,  and 
we  well  understood  what  was  going  forward. 
Right  astern,  and  directly  in  the  wind's  eye  of 


lUkTTIiIN^  THE  |iEBF£R.  ll^\ 

U0^  was  a  flat,  broad  schooaer,  nuuiixig  be^tbip^ 
the  wind,  with  nothing  set  but  her  fore  stay- 
sail. Ab  she  lifted  to  the  sea^  at  the  edge  of  t]^ 
horizon,  her  breadth  of  beam  was  so  great,  and 
her  bulwarks  so  little  above  the  water,  that  sh^ 
seemed  to  make  way  broadside  on,  rather  than 
to  sail  in  the  usqal  position.  Thero  was  no 
▼essel  particularly  near  her.  Those  of  the  mer* 
cantile  navy  that  most  enjoyed  her  propinquity, 
did  not  seem,  by  the  press  of  sail  that  they  were 
carrying,  to  think  the  situation  very  enviable* 
However,  the  Falcon,  one  of  our  men-of-war 
brigs,  was  between  this  schooner  and  all  the 
convoy,  with  the  signal  flying,  ''  May  I 
chase?" 

But  this  was  not  all ;  as  a  whitish  haze  cleared 
up  to  the  northward  there  was  a  spanking  fe- 
lucca, with  her  long  lateen  sails  brailed  up,  and 
sweeping  about  in  the  very  centre  of  a  knot  of 
dull  sailing  merchant  vessels,  four  of  which,  by 
their  altered  courses,  had  evidently  been  taken 
possession  of.  Reversing  the  good  old  adage, 
first  come  first  served,  we  turned  our  attention 
to  the  last  appearance.    We  made  the  signal  to 


nu  suuiier  uiu  iim  cuuvu^  geut 
find  out  how  matters  stood,  tlian 
of  fussey  and  frightened  old  wome 
to  pop,  pop,  pop,  firing  away  thei 
pounders  in  all  directions^  and 
from  the  scene  of  action  senring 
quickest,  and  firing  the  ofteilest. 
them  of  but  little  con8eqaence»  fl 
guns  were  fired,  where  the  shot  fi 
was  a  great  nuisance,  as  it  preT 
smoke  it  raised,  our  signals  firooQ 
guished,  even  if  these  belligeren 
way,  had  not  been  so  occupied  by 
strations  of  their  valour  from  attei 
Indeed,  the  volumes  of  smoke 
created,  became  very  coaaiderali 
now  know  if  there  be  any  convoy 


.^  it 


RATTLIM^  THE  REEFER.  163 

fire  shot  over  these  pugnaeious  tabs  to  quiet 
them,  and  there  was  thus  acted  the  amgalar 
spectacle  of  three  vessels  capturing  the  convoy, 
whilst  the  artillery  of  its  principal  protector  ap- 
peared to  be  incessantly  playing  upon  it. 

Having  our  attention  so  much  divided,  there 
was  a  great  deal  of  activity  and  bustle,  though 
no  confusion,  on  our  decks.  We  were  hoisting 
out  the  boats  to  make  the  re-captures,  and 
dividing  the  marines  into  parties  to  go  in  each. 
In  the  midst  of  all  this  hiirry,  when  Mr. 
Farmer,  our  gallant  first  lieutenant,  was  much 
heated,  a  droll  circumstance  occurred,  the  con- 
sequence of  the  indiscriminate  firing  of  the 
convoy.  A  boat  pulled  alongside,  and  a  little 
swab  man,  with  his  face  all  fire,  and  in  an 
awfully  sinful  passion,  jumped  on  the  quarter- 
deck^ with  something  rolled  up  in  a  silk  hand- 
kerchief. He  was  so  irritated,  that  whilst  he 
followed  the  first  lieutenant  about  for  two  or 
three  minutes,  he  could  not  articulate. 

"  Out  of  my  way,  man.  Mr.  Burn,  see  that 
all  the  small  arms  are  ready,  and  handed  down 
into  the  boat  in  good  order.     Out  of  my  way, 


104  ftl^nUN^  itiE  RfefiFfift. 

iBan-^irhat  the  devil  do  fon  wdnt?  Master 
tbe  pinnace's  crew  on  the  starboard  g;angway — 
waave  all  these  lubberly  marines.  Mr.  Silra,  if 
that  stupid  fool  don't  cease  firing,  send  a  shot 
right  into  him.  Man,  man,  what  do  you  want 
— why  d(m't  you  speak  ?*' 

''  There,  sir/'  at  las)  stammered  out  the  little 
angry  master  of  a  brig,  unfolding  his  handker- 
chief, and  exhibiting  a  two  pound  shot  in  a 
most  filthy  conditon,  "  What — what  do  you 
think  of  that,  sir?  Slap  on  board  of  me,  from 
the  Lady  Jane,  sir — through,  clean  through 
my  bulwarks  into  the  cook's  slush  tub.  There's 
murder  and  piracy  for  you  on  the  high  seas — 
my  slush  tub,  sir — my  bulwarks,  sir." 

"  D — n  you  and  your  slush  tub  too — out  of 
my  way  !  Sail  trimmers,  aloft,  and  get  ready 
the  topmast  and  top-gallant  studding  sails." 

^*  Am  I  to  have  no  redress,  sir  7  Is  a  British 
subject  to  have  his  slush  tub  cannonaded  on  the 
high  seas,  and  no  redress,  sir?  Sir,  sir,  I  tell 
you,  sir,  if  you  dcm't  do  me  justice,  I'll  go  on 
board  and  open  my  fire  upon  that  scoundrelly 
Lady  Jane." 


RATTUN^  THE  REEFBR.      105 

Now  this  was  something  like  a  gasconade,  as 
our  irritated  friend  happened  to  hare  bit  three 
quakers  (wooden  guns)  on  each  side,  thai 
certainly  were  not  equal  to  the  merits  of  that 
apocryphal  good  dog,  that  oonld  hark,  though 
not  bite — however,  they  looked  as  if  th^  eoald. 

^'  You  had  better,*'  said  Captain  Rend,  *^  go 
on  board  the  Lady  Jane,  and,  if  you  are  man 
enough,  give  the  master  a  hiding/' 

'*  If  I'm  man  enough!**  said  he,  jumping 
with  his  shot  into  his  boat,  with  ireful  alacrity. 
Shortly  after,  taking  my  glass,  I  looked  at  the 
Lady  Jane,  and  sure  enough  there  was  a  pugi- 
listic encounter  proceeding  on  her  quarter-deck, 
with  all  that  peculiar  ga&t  that  characterizes 
Englishmen  when  engaged  in  that  amusement. 

In  answer  to  the  signal  of  the  Falcon,  which 
was  astern  of  all  the  convoy,  and  between  it 
and  the  gigantic  schooner,  "  Shall  I  chase?" 
we  replied,  *'  No."  By  this  tinke  we  had 
thrashed  our  convoy  into  something  like  silence 
and  good  order.  We  then  signalled  to  them  to 
close  round  the  Falcon,  and  heave  to.  To  the 
Falcon,  "  to  protect  convoy." 


166      RATTLIN^  THE  REEFER. 

We  had  now  been  some  time  at  quarters^  and 
every  thing  was  ready  for  chasing  and  fighting. 
But  the  fiin  had  aLready  b^on  to  the  north- 
ward. Oar  second  man*of-war  brig,  the  Cor- 
lew,  had  closed  considerably  upon  the  felucca, 
which  was  evidently  endeavouring  to  make  the 
chase  a  windward  one.  T*he  brig  closed  more 
upon  her  than  she  ought.  It  certainly  enabled 
her  to  fire  broadside  after  broadside  upon  her, 
but,  as  far  as  we  could  perceive,  with  little  or  no 
effect.  In  a  short  time  the  privateer  contrived 
to  get  in  the  wind's  eye  of  the  man-of-war 
and  away  they  went.  After  the  four  ships  that 
had  been  taken  possession  of,  and  which  were 
each  making  a  different  course,  we  sent  three  of 
the  boats — the  barge,  yawl,  and  pinnace — under 
the  command  of  Mr.  Silva,  in  order  to  recapture 
them,  of  which  there  was  every  prospect,  as  the 
breeze  was  light,  and  would  not  probably 
freshen  before  ten  o'clock;  for  however  the 
captured  vessels  might  steer,  their  courses  must 
be  weather  ones,  as,  if  they  had  attempted  ^ 
run  to  leeward,  they  must  have  crossed  the 
body  of  the  convoy. 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.       197 

Having  now  made  our  arrangements,  we 
tamed  all  oar  attention  to  leeward  upon  the 
large  dark  three-masted  vessel,  that  still  re* 
mained  hove  to,  seeming  to  honoar  us  with  bat 
little  notioe.  She  had  taken  possession  of  the 
finest  and  largest  ship  of  the  convoy. 

Long  as  I  have  been  narrating  all  these  facts, 
I  assare  the  reader  they  did  not  occupy  ten 
minutes  in  action,  inclading  the  episodical 
monomachia  on  board  of  the  Lady  Jane.  Just 
as  we  had  got  the  ship's  head  towards  the 
stranger,  with  every  stitch  of  canvass  crowded 
upon  her,  and  the  eight-oared  cutter,  manned, 
armed,  and  manned,  towing  astern,  they  had 
got  the  captured  West  Indiaman  before  the 
wind,  with  every  thing  set.  The  stranger  was 
not  long  followiiig  this  example ;  but  steered 
about  a  S.W.  and  by  W.  course,  whilst  his 
prize  ran  down  nearly  due  south. 

I  have  always  found  in  the  beginning,  that 
the  size  of  the  chase  is  magnified,  either  by  th^ 
expectations  or  the  fears  of  the  pursuers.  At 
first,  we  bad  no  doubt  but  that  the  flying  vessel 
was  a  French  frigate,  as  large,  or  nearly  as 


&f*fc 


1<J6  RAtTLIN,  tte  UEeFfilt. 


large,  as  ourselves.  We  kiieW  fSnota"  gobd 
authority,  that  a  couple  of  large  fingat^-tndlt 
ships  had,  evading  our  blockading 'ehuaers, 
escaped  from  Brest,  and  were  plajring  fltie 
pranks  among  the  West  India  islanids/  Every 
body  immediately  concluded  the  vessel  in  view 
to  be  one  of  them.  If  this  conjecture  should 
turn  out  true,  there  would  be  no  'easy  task 
before  us,  seeing  how  much  we  had  crippled 
ourselves,  by  sending  away,  in  the  boats,  so 
many  officers  and  men. 

It  now  became  a  matter  of  earnest  ddibera- 
tion,  to  which  of  the  two  ships  we  should  first 
turn  our  attention,  as  the  probabQities  were 
great  against  our  capturing  both.  The  Prince 
William,  the  captured  West  Indiaman,  I  have 
before  said,  was  the  largest  and  finest  ship  of 
the  convoy.  Indeed,  she  was  nearly  as  large  as 
ourselves,  mounted  sixteen  gans,  and  we  Itad 
made  her  a  repeating  ship,  and  employed  her 
continually  in  whipping  in  the  bad  sailors. 

The  chase  after  her  promised  to  be  as  long  as 
would  have  been  the  chase  after  the  Frenchman. 

Mr.  Farmer,  who  was  all  for  fighting,  and 


RATTUN^  THE  UETOR.  169 

getting  his  next  step  of  promotioii,  was  for  near* 
ing  the  West  Indiaman  a  little  more,  sending 
the  cotter  to  take  possession,  and  then  do  our 
best  to  capture  the  frigate.  Now,  the  cutter 
pulled  eight  oars,  there  were  two  good  looking 
jollies  with  their  muskets  between  their  knees 
stuck  up  in  the  bows,  six  in  the  stern  sheets^ 
Mr.  Pridhommej  the  enamoured  master's  mate, 
and  the  Irish  young  gentleman,  who  had  seen 
as  much  service  and  as  many  years  as  myself, 
with  the  cockswain,  who  was  steering.  Mr. 
Farmer,  of  course,  measured  every  body's 
courage  by  his  own ;  but  I  think  it  was  taxing 
British  intrepidity  a  little  too  much,  to  expect 
that  nineteen  persons,  in  broad  daylight,  should 
chase  in  an  open  boat,  and  which  must  neces- 
sarily pull  up  a  long  stem  pull  of  perhaps  two 
or  three  hours,  exposed  to  the  fire  of  those  on 
board,  and  then  afterwards,  supposing  that  no- 
body had  been  either  killed  or  wounded  by  the 
ball  practice  that  would  have  been  certainly 
lavished  on  the  attacking  party,  to  get  along- 
side, and  climb  up  the  lofty  side  of  a  vessel,  as 

VOL.  II.  I 


'M^^ 


170      RATTLIK^  THE  REEFER. 

high  out  of  the  water  as  a  fifty  gun  ship.  W^ 
say  nothing  of  the  guns  that  might  have  been 
loaded  by  the  captors  with  grape,  and  the 
number  of  men  that  would  infallibly  be  placed 
to  defend  and  to  navigate  so  noble  a  vessel. 

Captain  Reud  weighed  all  this,  and  decided 
upon  making,  with  the  frigate,  the  re-captare 
first,  and  then  trusting  to  Providence  for  the 
other :  for  which  decision,  which  I  thought  most 
sound,  he  got  black  looks  from  the  first  lieute- 
nant and  some  of  the  officers,  and  certain  hints 
were  whispered  of  dark  birds  sometimes  show- 
ing white  feathers. 

The  sequel  proved  that  the  captain  acted 
with  the  greatest  judgment.  To  our  utter 
astonishment,  we  came  up  hand  over  hand  with 
a  vessel,  which  we  before  had  shrewd  sus-  ^ 
picions,  could,  going  free,  sail  very  nearly  as 
well  as  ourselves.  Of  course,  we  were  now 
fast  leaving  the  convoy ;  we  found  that  the 
felucca  had  worked  herself  dead  to  windward, 
and  was,  by  this  time,  nearly  out  of  gun-shot 
of  the  CurleW;  and,  that  the  faineant  strange 


KATthlS,  THE  REEFER.  171 

schooner  had  now  made  sail,  and  on  such  a 
coarse  as  approximated  her  fast  to  the  other 
privateer. 

The  large  vessel,  perceiving  our  attention 
solely  directed  to  the  capture,  shortened  sail  and 
made  demonstrations  of  rescue.  At  this,  Mr. 
Farmer  grinned  savage  approbation,  and,  not 
yet  having  had  a  good  view  of  her  hull,  we  all 
thought,  from  her  conduct,  that  she  was  con- 
scious of  force.  We  were,  therefore,  doubly 
on  the  alert  in  seeing  every  thing  in  the  very 
best  order  for  fighting.  The  bulkheads  of  the 
captain's  cabin  were  knocked  down,  and  the 
sheep,  pigs,  and  poultry,  gingerly  ushered  into 
the  hold,  preparatory  to  the  demolition  of  their 
several  pens,  styes,  and  coops,  on  the  main 
deck.  AH  this  I  found  very  amusing,  but  I 
must  confess  to  a  little  anxiety,  and  younker  as 
I  was,  I  knew,  if  we  came  to  action,  that  the 
eighty  or  ninety  men,  away  in  the  boats,  would 
be  very  severely  felt.  I  was  also  sorry  for  the 
absence  of  Mr.  Silva,  as  I  had  a  great,  yet 
puerile  curiosity  to  see  how  a  man  that  had 
written  a  book  would  fight. 

i2 


172  BATTLIK^  T^E  REBFfiBn 

.  The  run  of  an  hour  and  a  half  bron^t  00 
nearly  alongside  the  Prince  William,  when  we 
expected,  at  the  least,  a  ten  hours'  chase.  It 
was  well  we  came  up  so  soon ;  the  Frenchman 
had  clapped  forty  as  ill-looking,  savage  vaga- 
bonds on  board  of  her,  as  ever  made  a  poor 
fellow  walk  the  plank.  They  had  fnlly  pre- 
pared themselves  for  sinking  the  cutter,  as  soon 
as  she  should  come  alongside,  and  their  means 
for  doing  so  were  most  ample. 

As  our  prisoners  came  up  the  sides,  we  aoon 
discovered  by  the  shabby,  faded,  and  rent  uni- 
forms of  the  two  officers  among  them,  that 
they  belonged  to  the  French  imperial  service. 
They  bore  their  reverse  of  fortune,  notwith- 
standing they  belonged  to  a  philosophical  na- 
tion, with  a  very  despicable  philosophy.  They 
stamped  with  rage,  and  ground  their  sacres 
unceasingly  between  their  teeth.  They  could 
not  comprehend  how  so  fine  a  looking  vessel 
should  sail  so  much  like  a  haystack.  The 
mystery  was,  however,  soon  solved.  The  thiod 
mate,  with  about  half  a  dozen  men,  had  been 
left  on  board  of  her ;  and  the  provident  and 


KATitfS,  THE  ICBBPBBt.  1 78 

I 

gallant  youtig  fellow  had,  whilst  the  Freiich- 
tnen  were  so  pre-bccapied  in  -ptepei^ing  to  resist 
the  threatened  attack  of  the  boat,  contrived  to 
jmss,  traobserved,  oTerboard  from  the  bows/a 
spare  sail,  loaded  with  shot,  that  effectually  had 
checked  the  ship's  way.  Had  the  I<Venchmetl 
turned  then"  attention  to  that  part  of  the  vessel, 
^thout  they  had  examined  narrowly,  they 
wotild  have  perceived  nothing  more  than  a  rope 
towing  overboard.  He  certainly  ought  to  have 
dhared  with  us  prize-money  for  the  recapture ; 
but,  after  all^  he  sustained  no  great  loss  by  not 
having  his  name  down  on  the  prize-list,  as 
nobody  but  the  captain  ever  got  any  thing  for 
what  we  did  that  day.  He,  lucky  dog,  got  his 
share  in  advance,  many  said  much  more,  for 
appointing  the  Messrs.  Isaiahsons  and  Co.  as 
our  agents.  They  got  the  money,  and  then, 
as  the  possession  of  much  cash  (of  other  peo- 
ple's) is  very  impoverishing,  they  became  bank- 
hipts,  paid  nothing-farthing  in  the  pound,  were 
Tery  much  commiserated,  and  )he  last  that  we 
heard  of  them  was,  that  they  were  living  like 


174  ^ATTUN^  THE  RBEFER. 

princes  in  America,  upon  the  miserable  wreck 
of  their  (own  ?)  property. 

We  made,  of  course,  most  anxious  and  mosl 
minute  inquiries  of  Messieurs  les  Fran^ois^  as 
to  the  class  of  vessel  to  which  they  belonged, 
and  which  we  were,  in  turn,  preparing  to 
pursue.  As  might  be  expected,  we  got  from 
them  nothing  but  contradictory  reports,  but 
they  all  agreed  in  giving  us  the  most  con- 
scientious and  disinterested  advice,  not  to  think 
of  irritating  her,  as  we  should  most  certainly 
be  blown  out  of  the  water.  We  read  this 
backwards.  If  she  were  strong  enough  to 
take  us,  it  was  their  interest  that  we  should 
engage  her,  and  thus  their  liberation  would  be 
eflFected. 

As  it  was,  notwithstanding  these  many  oc- 
currences, only  eight  a.m.,  when  we  made  the 
recapture,  and  as  the  convoy  were  all  still  in 
sight,  we  only  put  six  men  in  the  Prince  Wil- 
liam, which,  in  addition  to  the  English  still 
on  board,  were  sufficient  to  take  her  to  the 
Curlew,  near  which  vessel  the  merchantmen 


^JLTtLlH,  THE  REEFER. 


175 


had  all  nestled,  and  orders  were  transmitted  to 
her  commanding  officer  to  see  that  men  enough 
were  put  on  board  the  recapture  to  insure  her 
safety. 


ife 


RATTLIN,  THE  AttF^k. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

Ralph  roaketli  acquaiDtance  with  bloody  inBtrumeots,  aixl 
boweth  to  the  iron  messengers  of  death ;  and  is  taught  to 
stand  fire,  by  being  nearly  knocked  down. 


We  now  pressed  the  ship  with  every  stitch  of 
canvass  that  we  could  set.  We  had  already 
learned  the  name  of  our  friend  in  the  distance ; 
it  was  the  Jean  Bart,  Indeed,  at  this  time, 
almost  every  fourth  French  vessel  in  those  seas, 
if  its  occupation  was  the  cutting  of  throats,  was 
a  "  Jean  Bart."  However,  Jean  Bart,  lo^g 
before  we  had  done  with  the  Prince  William, 
had  spread  a  cloud  of  canvass,  a  dark  one  it 
is  true,  and  had  considerably  increased  his  dis- 


I^TTLlNj  THE  REEFEIU  JL77 

tance  from  us«  It  was  a  chase  dead  before  the 
wind.  By  nine  o'clock  the  breeze  had  freshened. 
I  don't  know  how  it  could  be  otherwise,  consi- 
dering the  abundance  of  wbhing  and  votive 
whistling.  At  ten,  we  got  a  good  sight  of 
Johnny  Crapaud's  hull  from  the  maintop,  and 
found  out  that  she  was  no  frigate.  I  was  not 
at  all  nervous  before,  but  I  must  confess,  at  this 
certainty,  my  courage  rose  considerably.  I  nar- 
rowly inspected  the  condition  of  the  four  afler- 
quarter-deck  guns,  my  charge,  and  was  very 
impressive  on  the  powder-boys  as  to  the  necefli- 
sity  of  activity,  coolness,  and  presence  of  mind. 
Dr.  Thompson  now  came  on  deck,  very  much 
lamenting  the  disordered  rites  of  his  breakfast* 
He  jocular  fellow  invited  me  down  into  the 
oockpit  to  see  his  preparations,  in  order,  as  he 
said,  to  keep  up  my  spirits,  by  showing  me 
what  excellent  arrangements  he  had  made  for 
trepanning  my  skull,  or  lopping  my  leg,  should 
any  accident  happen  to  me.  I  attended  him. 
What  with  the  fearnought^  screens,  and  other 

*  An  amaziogly  thick  doth,  of  a  woollen  textttre. 

i6 


;*?* 


178  RATTLIN^  THE  RKBFfiR. 

precautions  against  fire,  it  was  certainly  the 
hottest  place  in  which  I  had  yet  ever  been. 
The  dim,  yellow,  yet  sufficient  light  from  the 
lanterns,  gave  a  lurid  horror  to  the  various 
ghastly  and  blood-greedy  instruments  that  were 
ostentatiously  displayed  upon  the  platform. 
Crooked  knives,  that  the  eye  alone  assured  you 
were  sharp,  seemed  to  be  twbting  with  a  living 
anxiety  to  embrace  and  separate  your  flesh; 
and  saws  appeared  to  grin  at  me,  which  to  look 
upon,  knowing  their  horrid  office,  actually 
turned  my  teeth  on  edge.  There  were  the 
three  assistant  surgeons,  stripped  to  their  shirts, 
with  their  sleeves  tucked  up  ready,  looking 
anxious,  keen,  and  something  terrified.  As  to 
the  burly  doctor,  with  his  huge,  round,  red 
face,  and  his  coarse  jokes,  he  abstracted  some- 
thing from  the  romantic  terrors  of  the  place; 
but  added  considerably  to  the  disgust  it  excited, 
as  he  strongly  reminded  me  of  a  carcass  bi^cher 
in  full  practice. 

.  No  doubt,  his  amiable  purpose,  in  bringing 
me  to  his  den,  was  to  frighten  me,  and  enjoy 
my  fright.      Be   that  as  it  may,   I  took  the 


.  lUTTUN,  THIS  REEFER.  lY9 

matter  as  coolly  as  the  heat  of  the  place  would 
permit  me.  The  first  lesson  in  bravery  is  to 
assume  the  appearance  of  it ;  the  second,  to  sus- 
tain the  appearance,  and  the  third  will  find  you 
with  all  that  courage  **  that  doth  become  a  man." 

By  noon,  we  had  a  staggering  breeze.  We 
could  now  perceive  that  we  were  chasing  a  large 
corvette,  though  from  the  ^d-on  view  we  had 
of  her,  we  could  not  count  her  ports.  The 
Eos  seemed  to  fly  through  the  water.  She 
bowed  not  to  the  waves  before  her,  but  dashed 
them  indignantly  aside.  She  appeared,  in  her 
majestic  spirit,  to  say  to  the  winds,  ^*  I  obey 
not  your  impulse.  I  await  not  your  assistance. 
I  lead  you.  Follow."  To  the  sea,  '*  Level 
before  me  your  puny  waves.  Let  them  rush 
after  in  my  path — let  them  bow  down  as  I  pass 
on."  To  the  clouds,  "  Come,  we  will  run  a 
race — we  will  strive  together  in  the  pride  of 
our  speed.  The  far-off  isles  of  the  south  shall 
Be  our  goal,  and  the  rainbow  the  coronet  of 
triumph."  Well  she  bore  herself  and  right 
gallantly  on  that  day. 

At  one  o'clock  the  spars  began  to  complain  — 


180  RATTLIN^  THE  RB^fiR« 

preventer  braces  were  roTe,  but  no  cue  thod^t 
of  shortening  sail.  Away!  away!  Is  not  this 
hunting  of  a  flying  foe  glorious?  Achilles, 
throbbed  not  with  irrepressible  exultation  Chine 
iron-bound  breast  as  thou  chasedst  the  flying 
Hector  round  the  walls  of  his  deserted  TVoy? 
But  canst  thou^  heaven-descended  warrior  that 
thou  art,  compare  thy  car  to  ours?  The 
winged  winds  are  our  coursers  —  the  ocean 
waves  our  chariot  wheels — and  unbounded  spaee 
our  unlimited  course.     Away!  away! 

At  two  o'clock  we  had  risiBn  the  Jean  Bart, 
so  as  to  clear  her  broadside  from  the  water's 
edge,  as  seen  from  our  decks.  The  appetites 
of  the  doctor  and  purser  had  risen  in  propor* 
tion.  They  made  a  joint  and  disconsc^ate 
visit  to  the  galley.  All  the  Pres  were  put  out. 
The  hens  were  cackling  and  the  pigs  grunting 
in  dark  security  among  the  water-ca^s.  Mi- 
serable men !  there  was  no  prospect  of  a  dinner. 
They  were  obliged  to  do  detestable  penance 
upon  cold  fowl  and  ham,  liquefied  with  nothing 
better  than  claret,  burgundy,  and  the  small  kh 
lace  derivable  from  the  best  brandy,  mixed 


RATTLIK^  THE  lt£BFER«  181 

wUb  filtrated  wat^r  in  moet  praLiewortby  mo- 
dcoration. 

At  three  o'clock  we  had  the  Jean  Bart  per- 
fectly in  flighty  and  we  could,  from  the  fore- 
yard,  observe  well  the  motions  of  those  on 
deck.  The  master  was  broiling  his  very  red 
nose  over  his  sextant  in  the  forestay-sail  netting, 
when  it  was  reported  that  tSie  Frenchman  was 
getting  ail  his  two  long  brass-  bow  chasers; 
and,  in  half  an  hour  afler,  we  had  the  report 
from  the  said  brass  bellowers  themselves,  fol* 
lowed  by  the  whistling  of  the  shot,  one  wide 
of  the  ship,  but  the  other  smack  through  our 
foresail,  and  which  must  first  have  passed  very 
near  the  nose  of  our  respectable  master. 

Most  of  the  officers,  myself  with  the  rest, 
were  standing  on  the  forecastle.  Though  not 
the  first  shot  that  I  had  seen  fired  in  anger, 
it  certainly  was  the  first  that  had  ever  hissed 
by  me.  This  first  salute  is  always  a  memor^ 
able  epoch  in  the  life  of  a  soldier  or  sailor. 
By  the  rent  the  shot  made  in  the  foresail,  it 
could  not  have  passed^ more  than  two  yards 


182      RATTLIN,  THE  REEFERi 

directly  over  my  head.  I  was  taken  by  sm^ 
prise.  Every  body  knows  that  the  -msbing 
that  the  shot  makes  is  excessively  lond.  As 
the  illustrious  stranger  came  on  board  with  so 
much  pomp  and  ceremony,  I,  firom  the  im- 
pulse of  pure  courtesy,  could  not  do  otherwise 
than  bow  to  it ;  for  which  act  of  politeness  the 
first  lieutenant  gave  me  a  very  considerably 
tingling  box  of  the  ear. 

My  angry  looks,  my  clenched  fists,  and  my 
threatening  attitude^  told  him  plainly  that  it 
was  no  want  of  spirit  that  made  me  duck  to 
the  shot.  Just  as  I  was  passionately  exclaim- 
ing, "  Sir — I — I  —  I — "Captain  Reud  put  his 
hand  gently  on  my  shoulder,  and  said,  '*  Mr. 
Rattlin,  what  are  you  about?  Mr.  Farmer, 
that  blow  was  not  deserved.  I,  sir,"  said  he, 
drawing  himself  up  proudly,  "  ducked  to  the 
first  shot.  Many  a  fine  fellow  that  has  bobbed 
to  the  first  has  stood  out  gallantly  to  the  last. 
What  could  ^ou  expect,  Mr.  Farmer,  from 
such  a  mere  boy?  And  to  strike  him!  Fie 
upon  it!     That  blow,'  if  the  lad  had   weak 


aATTUN^  THE  REEPBR.       183 

nerves,  though  his  spirit  were  as  brave  as  Nel- 
son's, and  as  noble  as  your  namesake's,  that  foul 
blow  might  have  cowed  him  for  ever." 

**  They  are  getting  ready  to  fire  again/'  was 
now  reported  from  the  foreyard. 

**  Here,  Rattlin/'  continued  the  captain, 
'^  take  my  glass,  seat  yourself  upon  the  ham* 
mock-cloths,  and  tell  me  if  you  can  make  out 
what  they  are  about/' 

Two  flashes,  smoke,  and  then  the  rushing  of 
the  shot,  followed  by  the  loud  and  rioging  re- 
port of  the  brass  guns,  and  of  the  reverbera- 
tion of  metal,  was  heard  immediately  beneath 
me.  One  of  the  shot  had  struck  the  fluke  of 
the  anchor  in  the  forechains. 

"  There,  Mr.  Farmer,"  said  the  captain  ex- 
ultingly,  *'  did  you  mark  that?  I  knew  it  — 
I  knew  it,  sir.  He  neither  moved  nor  flinched 
— even  the  long  tube  that  he  held  to  his  eye 
never  quivered  for  an  instant.  Oh!  Mr.  Far- 
mer, if  you  have  the  generousr  heart  I  give 
you  credit  for,  never,  never  again  strike  a 
younker  for  bobbing  at  the  first,  or  even  the 
fifth  shot." 


1^ 


R47Tl»^  XHE  B«£FS}U 


''  I  was  wrong,  sir/'  was  the  humble  reply ; 
"  I  am  sorry  that  I  should  have  given  you 
occasion  to  make  this  public  reprimand/' 

**  No^  Farmer,"  said  the  little  Creole  very 
kindly  ;  '^  I  did  not  mean  to  reprimand^  only 
to  remonstrate.  The  severest  reprimand  was 
given  you  by  Mr.  Rattlin  himself." 

I  could,  at  that  nK)menty  have  hugged  the 
little  yellow-skinned  captain,  wicked  as  I  knew 
him  to.be,  and  stood  unmoved  the  fire  of  the 
grape  of  a  twenty-gun  battery. 

But  was  I  not  really  frightened  at  the  whist- 
ling  of  the  shot  ? 

Yes ;  a  little. 


KkTtifi^,  VBE  l^E^kft;  i^ 


»         k 


•    ■      I 


CHAPTER  XV. 

It  ^  well  to  have  a  long  spoon  when  one  sips  soaps 
with  the  devil  —  The  captain's  shot  seldom  misses 
^-It  is  not  always  pleasant  to  have  a  clean  shirt 
to  one*s  back,  very  amply  proved  —  And  the  best 
method  of  viewing  an  affair  is  to  see  it  to  your  own 
advantage. 

It  is  always  a  greater  proof  of  courage  to  stand 
fire  coolly  than  to  fire.  Captain  Reud,  I  must 
suppose,  wished  to  try  the  degree  of  intrepidity 
of  his  officers,  by  permitting  the  chase  to  give 
us  several  weighty  objections  against  any  more 
advance  of  familiarity  on  our  parfs.  A  quarter 
of  a  century  ago  there  were  some  very  strange 
notions  prevalent  in  the  navy,  among  which 
none  was  more  common,  than  that  the  firing 


186      RATTLIN,  THE  RBBFER. 

of  the  bow  guns  materially  checked  the  speed 
of  the  vesdel.  The  captain  and  the  first  lieu* 
tenant  both  held  this  opinion.  Thus  we  con- 
tinued to  gain  upon  the  corvette,  and  she, 
being  emboldened  by  the  impunity  with  which 
she  cannonaded  us,  fired  the  more  rapidly  and 
with  greater  precision,  as  our  rent  sails  and 
ravelled  running  rigging  began  to  testify. 

I  was  rather  impatient  at  this  apparent 
apathy  on  our  parts.  Mr.  Bum,  the  gunner, 
seemed  to  more  than  participate  in  my  feelings. 
Our  two  bow  guns  were  very  imposing-looking 
magnates.  They  would  deliver  a  message  at 
three  miles*  distance,  though  it  were  no  less 
than  a  missive  of  eighteen  pounds  avoirdupois ; 
and  we  were  now  barely  within  half  that  dis- 
tance. Mr.  Bum  was  particularly  excellent  at 
two  things, — a  long  shot,  and  the  long  bow.  In 
all  the  ships  that  I  have  sailed,  I  never  yet 
met  with  his  equal  at  a  cool,  embellished,  in- 
trepid lie,  or  at  the  accuracy  of  his  ball  prao- 
tice.  Baron  Munchausen  would  have  found  no 
mean  rival  in  him  at  the  former;  and,  wen 
duels  fought  with    eighteen  pounders,  Lord 


RATTLIN,  THE  RBBFER.       187 

Camdifbrd  would  have  been  remarkably  polite 
in  the  company  of  our  master  of  projeetilea. 

I  was  upon  the  point  of  writing  that  Mr. 
Bum  was  burning  with  ardour.  I  see  it  written 
— it  is  something  worse  than  a  pun — therefin^, 
per  omnes  nu)dos  et  tagus — heretical  and  dam- 
nable—  consequently,  I  beg  the  reader  to  con- 
sign it  to  the  oblivion  with  which  we  cover  our 
bad  actions^  and  read  thus : — ^The  gunner  was 
burning  with  impatience  to  show  the  captain 
what  a  valuable  officer  he  commanded.  The 
two  guns  had  long  been  ready,  and,  with  the 
lanyard  of  the  lock  in  his  right  hand,  and  the 
rim  of  his  glazed  bat  in  his  left,  he  was  con- 
tinually saying,  **  Shall  I  give  her  a  shot  now, 
Captain  Reud  ?" 

The  answer  was  as  provokingly  tautologous 
as  a  member  of  parliament's  speech,  who  is  in 
aid  of  the  whipper-in,  speaking  against  time. 
"  Wait  a  little,  Mr.  Bum." 

''  Well,  Mr.  Rattlin,"  said  the  fat  doctor, 
blowing  himself  up  to  me,  ^'  so  you  have  be?n 
)uiighted<--on  the  deck  of  battle  too — knight 
banneret  of  the  order  of  the  light  bobs." 


188  RATTLtK,  THE  ti&i^FtiSU 

I  was  staifding  with  tlie  ^captibiii'd'g^iss  to 
my  eye,  looking  over  tbehii^ecks.  IhbtH^ 
tof  get  near  me  he  had  been  obliged  to  cling 
hold  of  the  hammock-rails  With  both  lumds^  80 
that  his  huge,  round,  red  face;  just'  peeped 
labeve  the  tarpanlid  hammock-clolhsl  his  chhi 
resting  upon  them,  no  bad  type  of  Uti  angi^ 
dun  showing  his  fisu!e  above  the  ritn  of  a'blluek 
cloud,  through  a  London  November  fog. 

"  Take  care,  doctor,"  I  sang  out,  fdr  I  had 
seen  the  flashings  of  the  enemy's  guns. 

"  Light  bobs,"  said  the  jeering  doctor ;  when 
away  flew  the  upper  part  of  hb  hat,  and  down 
he  dropped  on  the  deck,  on  that  part  which 
nature  seems  to  have  purposely  padded  in  order 
to  make  the  fall  of  man  easy. 

*'  No  light  bob,  however,'*  said  L 

The  doctor  arose,  rubbing  with  an  assiduity 
that  strongly  reminded  me  of  my  old  school- 
master, Mr.  Root. 

*^  To  your  station,  doctor/'  said  the  captain 
harshly. 

*'  Spoilt  a  good  bat  in  trying  to  make  ti  bad 
joke  ;*'  and  he  shuffled  himself  below. 


'5  Y4>ur  gig»  Captain.  ^§ndf  ent  •  alli  to 
afatiYers,"  8ai4  »..petty  officer* 
^  Tbifl  was  the  unkindest  cat  of  all.  As  we 
were,  approaching  BarbadoeSy  ihe  captain  had 
caused  hi^  very  handfiome  gig  to  be  hoiated  in 
jTrom  oyer  the  8|em»  placed  on  the  thwarts-  of 
the  launch,  and  it  had  been  in  that  positiim, 
oqlj  the.  day  before,  very  elaborately  painted. 
The  irritated  commander  seized  hold  of  the 
lanyard  of  one  of  the  eigbteen-pounders,  ex- 
claimingi  at  the  same  time,  '^  Mr.  Barn,  when 
yon  have  got  your  sight,  fire  !*' 

The  two  pieces  of  artillery  simultaneously 
roared  out  their'  thunders,  the  smoke  was 
driven  aft  immediately,  and  down  toppled  the 
three  topmasts  of  the  corvette.  The  fisLlling 
of  those  masts  was  a  beautiful  sight.  They 
did  not  rush  down  impetuously,  but  stooped 
themselves  gradually  and  gracefully,  with  all 
their  clouds  of  canvass.  A  swan  in  mid  air, 
with  her  drooping  wings  broken  by  a  shot, 
slowly  descending,  might  give  you  some  idea 
of  the  view.  But  after  the  descent  of  the 
multitudinous   sails,    tlie   beauty   was  wholly 


100      RATTLIN^  THE  REEFER: 

destroyed.  Where  beibre  there  careered  gal- 
lantly and  triumphantly  before  the  gale  a  noUe 
ship,  now  nothing  but  a  wreck  appeared  pain- 
fully to  trail  along  laboriously  its  tattered  and 
degraded  ruins. 

**  What  do  you  think  of  that  shot,  Mr. 
Farmer?''  said  the  little  captain,  all  exultation. 
*'  Pray,  Mr.  Rattlin,  where  did  Mr.  Bum's 
shot  fall  ?" 

*'  One  of  the  shot  struck  the  water  about  half 
a  mile  to  port,  sir,"  said  I,  for  I  was  still  at  my 
post  watching  the  proceedings. 

"  O  Mr.  Burn!  Mr.  Bum !  what  could  you 
be  about  1  It  is  really  shameful  to  throw  away 
his  Majesty's  shot  in  that  manner.  Oh,  Mr. 
Burn  !*'  said  the  captain,  more  in  pity  than  in 
anger. 

Mr.  Burn  looked  ridiculously  foolish. 

"  O  Mr.  Bum!"  said  I,  "  is  this  all  you 
can  show  to  justify  your  bragging  ?" 

^*  If  ever  I  fire  a  shot  with  the  captain  again," 
said  the  mortified  gunner,  *^  may  I  be  rammed, 
crammed^  and  jammed  in  a  mortar,  and  blown 
to  atoms." 


RATTUN,  THE  REEFER.       101 

In  the  space  of  a  quarter  of  an^our  we  were 
alongside  of  the  Jean  Bart.  She  mounted 
twenty'-two  gnns,  was  crowded  with  a  dirty 
crew,  and,  after  taking  ont  most  of  them,  and 
sending  plenty  of  hands  on  board,  in  two  hours 
more  we  had  got  up  her  spare  topmasts. 

Before  dark,  every  thing  appeared  to  be  as  if 
nothing  had  occurred,  with  the  exception  of  the 
captain's  gig  and  the  doctor's  hat ;  and  hauling 
our  wind,  in  company  with  our  prize,  we  made 
sail  towards  that  quarter  in  which  we  had  left 
our  convoy. 

I  am  going  to  mention  a  very  trivial  anec- 
dote ;  but,  as  it  is'  one  of  those  curious  coinci- 
dences upon  which  are  grounded  so  much  su- 
perstition, I  may  be  pardoned  for  narrating  it. 
After  the  topmasts  of  the  prize  had  fallen,  every 
body  had  run  below  in  the  Jean  Bart,  with  the 
exception  of  the  captain,  and  two  or  three  of  the 
officers.  The  captain  had  taken  the  wheel,  and 
still  kept  his  vessel  before  the  wind.  When  we 
were  dose  upon  her,  we  had  hailed  him  several 
times  to  broach  to ;  but  either  not  hearing,  or 


Poreons  Mill  „„  tj^  j^ 
"•'7  "!•  MnMlt.  Hm 
*"•"=•     H,tt«, 

"•to  the  wi,i 

^fc™  tl»Fm,ohc<a, 
"«»"«i  dnwed  in  a,, 

"'"■  ■n~b.llh.dp.. 
•"»..iid„Mh.lf„i„ 
""""••"".th.mi^ 
«W«f.nolh.rh.II,.„d„, 

'"'■"■th,«„r,„f,j. 


OQ«ki  nirdjr  iDak^  aojr  ottbe  fmifinandU^pofti: 
that  «eve  open  to  them;   amUriiiiit^  j  f^iCert- 

enemies*  Cwse^iiently,  Uiiea  of.  mj  Mrt  wiV 
a  greal  luxary.  AhotU  two  y«ara  befpniy.tbi^ 
Fireneh  captain  had  boarded  an4tidMN».po0MK 
sioo  of  an  English  merchant  TCisel,  on  hoani  iff 
which  there  was  the  body  of  a  young  geatlemaii# 
who  had,  the  day  before,  died  of  a  contumptioQ.^ 
He  was  attended  by  an  old  black  woman ;  indeedt 
her  age  was  almost  as  much  beyond  belief  as 
were  her  activity  and  strength.  She  had  nursed 
this  young  gentleman's  father,  and  his  father^ 
and  felt  a  sort  of  canine  devotion  for  every  one 
bearing  the  family  name.  She  had  dressed  out 
the  body  in  the  best  linen  shirt  that  she  could 
find. 

As  the  French  captain  had  no  idea  of  running 
into  Antigua  in  order  that  the  rites  of  sepulture 
should  be  paid  to  the  departed  plantation  pro* 
prietor,  he*  ordered  the  corpse,  amidst  the  im*- 
pracatipns  of  the  old  negress,  to  have  a  shot 
attached  to  it,  and  to  be  thrown  overboard* 
Not  wishing  to  lose  a  good  shirt,  when  shirts 

VOL.  II.  K 


194      RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

Vere  9o  very  Bc&rce,  he  had  it  removed  from  the 
body,  as  he  thought  anj  old  canvass  was  good 
enough  to  sink  a  corpse  in.  Tlie  horror  of  the 
tiegress  at  this  profanation  was  intense,  and  she 
Cursed  him  with  all  the  bitterness  of  hate  and 
revenge.  Among  other  things,  she  wished  that 
every  time  he  put  it  on,  it  might  bring  disgrace 
and  ruin  upon  his  head,  wither  the  strength  of 
his  right  arm,  and  be  stained  with  his  best  blood. 
Protected  as  this  shirt  was  by  the  maledictions 
of  the  venerable  of  years,  he  had  put  it  on  but 
twiee,  at  the  interval  of  a  year.  Eadi  time  he 
bad  been  wounded  in  the  right  arm,  each  time 
been  ruined,  and  each  time  lost  his  ship. 

Three  times  is  generally  considered  fatal  in 
similar  affairs ;  but  whether  he  experienced  this 
fatality,  I  know  not.  I  can  only  vouch  for  as 
much  as  I  have  related.  Methinks  a  very 
pretty  nautical  drama  might  be  made  out  of  this 
anecdote,  entitled  **  The  Fatal  Shirt,"  or  **  The 
Curse  of  the  Oboe  Woman.''  If  aHy  manager 
is  inclined  to  be  liberal,  my  tale  and  my  talents 
are  entirely  at  his  service. 

At  daylight,  next  morning,  we  foond  our- 


selves  agBtd  wkh  oar  convoy.  Mr.  Silva  faaA 
recafrtoted  tke  four  Teasels  tAen  hj  the  feltitet. 
Thtd  Vahion  iiOTe  in  sight  ftboot  mkl-diijr.  She 
had  chased  the  felucca  well  to  windwatd,  when 
the  immense  large  schooner  bad  intruded  her- 
self as  a  third  in  the  party,  and  she  and  the 
felucca,  as  well  as  i  could  understand,  had 
united,  and  gave  the  man-of-war  brig  a  pretty 
considerable  tarnation  licking,  as  brother  Jona- 
than hath  it. 

She  certainly  made  a  very  shattered  appear- 
ance, and  had  lost  several  men.  However,  in 
the  official  letter  of  the.  commander  to  Captain 
Reud,  all  this  was  satisfactorily  explained.  He 
had  beaten  them  both,  and  they  had  struck; 
but  owing  to  night  coming  on  before  he  could 
take  possesion  of  them,  they  had  most  infa- 
mously escaped  in  the  darkness.  However,  it 
did  not  much  signify,  as  they  were  now,  having 
struck,  lawful  prizes  to  any  English  vessel  that 
could  lay  hold  of  them.  I  thought  at  the  time 
that  there  was  no  doubt  of  that. 

The  next  day  we  made  the  land.    The  low 

k2 


<  it  reminded  me  of  England. 


KATM.m,  ttfB  RBBFBll. 


1417 


■   I    , 


CHAPTER  XVI. 


A  naral  dinner,  with  its  consequences — Anayal  argument, 
with  its  consequences,  also — The  way  down  the  ri?er 
pared  at  last,  and  the  progress  and  the  person  of  the  un- 
fortunate parier  finally  arrested. 


I  HAVE  no  intention  of  repeating  the  oft 
repeated  description  of  the  West  India  islands. 
What  is  personal  to  me  I  shall  relate :  of  coarse, 
incidently,  I  may  be  drawn  in  to  describe  what 
has  struck  me  as  peculiar  to  these  very  favoured 
regions.  We  made  but  a  short  stay  at  **  little 
England,"  as  the  Barbadians  fondly  call  their 
Terdant  plat,  and  then  ran  down  through  all 
the  Virgin  islands,  leaving  parts  of  our  convoy 
at  their  various  destinations.     Our  recaptured 


196  MTTI4K,  THE  REEFIBft. 

vessels,  with  a  midshipman  in  each,  also  went 
to  the  ports  to  which  they  were  bound.  When 
we  were  abreast  of  the  island  of  St.  Do* 
mingo,  our  large  convoy  was  reduced  to  about 
forty,  all  of  which  were  consigned  to  the  dif* 
ferent  ports  of  Jamaica.  Our  prize  corvette 
was  still  in  company,  as  we  intended  to  take 
her  to  Port  Koyal. 

We  were  all  in  excellent  humour:  luxu- 
riating in  the  anticipation  of  our  prize*money, 
and  somewhat  glorious  in  making  our  appear- 
ance in  a  manner  so  oreditable  to  ouraelvee  apd 
profitable  to  the  admiral  on  the  station.  All 
this  occupied  our  minds  so  much,  that  we  had 
hardly  opportunity  to  think  of  penAeution. 
Bat  some  characters  can  always  Sad  time  fev 
mnBohief,  especially  when  misdiief  ia  but  another 
name  for  pleasure.  The  activity  wUcb  Mr. 
Silva  had  displayed  in  oaaking  the  reoaptufoa, 
l»d  gained  him  much  respect  with  his  iMa»« 
mates,  and  seemed  to  pave  the  way  for  a  mutual 
good  understanding. 

What  I  am  now  going  to  rdate  oquU  not,  bj 
any  possibility,  happen  in  the  navri  aervioe  af 


the  present  day.  Let  no  <me,  themfore,  aH]^ 
pose  that  in  recording  things  that  actoallj 
occorred,  I  ana  diseeininating  a  libel  against  the 
profeflsiony  amongst  tbe<  members  of  which  I 
passed  the  hi^pieat  days  of  my  life,  in  whom  I 
hare  ever  fband  the  most  chivalroiis  honour^ 
the  most  ooboiinded  generosity,  and  feelings  tb« 
most  remote  from  that  all-pervading  selfishnesay 
which  is  the  bane  of  the  social  cirdci  and  the 
besetting  sin  of  the  times,  at  least  in  England. 
The  little  that  is  good,  the  very  little  upon  which 
I  pride  myself,  that  my  character  gathered  up, 
was  gained  amidst  the  toils,  the  dangers,  and 
the  constantly  occurring  privations,  of  my  ocean 
life:  had  the  profession,  however,  been  then 
improved,  in  many  particulars,  to  what  it  now 
is,  I  make  no  doubt  that  it  would  have  had  a 
be&efidal  effect  upon  me.  But  no  profession, 
drill  the  body,  and  awe  the  mind  as  it  may,  can 
destroy  identity  of  character.  Discipline  and 
coercion  will,  and  always  do,  modify  it ;  but  the 
more  the  submission  of  the  lower  grades  of  any 
social  pact  is  complete,  the  controlling  power 
must  necessarily  be  the  more  haughty,  the  more 


000  /BAoniiiN^iinE^ugBmiu 

wilftil,  and,  too  often,  becxmieh  the '«M>rr In- 
solent.- ■  '   ■•        ■■    •    •  v^r<>-M;i 

-  .^tothow  the  nary  as  it  w^,  and  to  pdint  ^t 
'Mtne  of  its  insolences  of  offiee>  instead  Of  Miig 
«,libely  is  a  compliaient  to  the  navy  tliat  now 
iBcr.  Tlie  aflkir  that  drove  poor  Siiva  oat  of' the 
eervioe- can  never  recnr;  but  it  may -not  be 
^aagk  to  relate  it,  as  it  is,  in  some  Aeasmre; n 
Jttdtifieation  for  that  curtailment  of 'the  niei« 
vrantonness  of  power  in  the  commanding  officer, 
ihat  now,  much  to  the  annoyance  of  many 
worthy  old  tars,  exists.  It  will,  also,  show  to 
those  who  delight  in  tracing  the  philosophy  df 
ihk  mind,  the  rampant  coarse  of  the  passions, 
when  an  individual  supposes  himself  above  the 
consideration  of  the  feelings  of  others,  and  re- 
leased from  every  responsibility,  even  that  of 
OfMnion ;  for  opinion  dared  not  make  itself 
heard  on  board  of  a  man-of-war  then,  and  even 
now,  and  properly  too,  is  wholesomely  cheeked 
by 'the  contemplation  of  danger. 
:  The  second  lieutenant  was  invited  to  dinner 
With  his  two  constant  quizzers,  the  fat  doctor 
-andlhe  aeate  purser^  jnst  aa  we  had  made  the 


Mta^i^mi-of  IfomuM.  I,  it  baviiig  been  jbj 
forenoon  watch,  was  consequently  invited  itath 
ffae  offioer  of  it.  We  had  lately  been  t6o  nluch 
ooQiqfHed  1»  think  of  annoying  eaeh  other;  iMt 
.^oee  who  ttnf<H*tunately  think  Uiat  they  liave 
appreseriptive  right  to  be'disagreeaUt,  and  have 
a  single  talent  that  way,  (the  most  conunos  of 
talettta^)  seldom  violate  the  advice  of  the  Scrip- 
tare,  that  warns  us,  not  to  hide  that  oneiahnt 
in  a^oapkin.  .  r 

We  found  our  sarcastic  little  skipper  in  the 
blandest  and  most  urbane  humour.  He  re- 
ceived me  with  a  courtesy  that  almost  made 
me  feel  affection  for  him.  We  found  Mr. 
Farmer,  the  first  lieutenant,  with  him,  and  had 
it  not  been  for  a  sly  twinkling  of  the  eye  of 
the  captain,  and  very  significant  looks  that  now 
and  then  stole  from  Mr.  Farmer,  as  he  caught 
tbe  ep^pdres»on  of  his  commander  s  countenanee, 
I  should  have  thought  that  that  day  there  wa^ 
no  '^minching  malicho,"  or  any  thing  like 
misobief  meant.  There  were  but  five  of  ud  sat 
4»wt^  to  taUe,  yet  the  dinner  was  superb.  We 
hudyHiur:  rather  the  captaioy  supplied  himsdf 

k5 


202      RATTUN,  THE  REBFBR. 

BOW  with  all  the  luxuries  of  a  tropical  eUmaiet 
and  those  of  the  temperate  were,  thcmgh  ho 
QOttld  hoest  of  little  teoi})erancei  &r  from  tx* 
hausted.  We  had  turtle  dressed  difforeat 
waysy  though  our  flat  friend  made  his  fivst 
appearance  in  the  guise  of  an  appetising  so«p. 
We  had  stewed  guanna,  a  large  sort  of  delicious 
lizard,  that  most  amply  repairs  the  offence  done 
to  the  eye  by  his  unsightly  appearance,  in  con«> 
ciliating  in  a  wonderful  manner  all  those  minnte 
yet  important  nerves  that  Providence  has  so 
bountifully  and  so  numerously  spread  over  the 
palate,  the  tongue,  and  the  uvula.  The  very 
contemplation  of  this  beneficent  arrangement 
is  enough  to  make  a  swearing  boatswain  pious. 
We  lacked  neither  fish,  beef,  nor  mutton; 
though  it  18  true,  that  the  carcasses  of  the  sheep, 
after  having  been  dressed  by  the  butcher  and 
hung  up  under  the  half  deck,  gave  us  the  con- 
solation of  knowing,  that  while  there  was  a 
single  one  on  board,  we  should  never  be  in  want 
of  a  poop  lantern,  so  delicately  thin  and  trans- 
parent were  the  teguments  that  united  the 
ribs.      Indeed,  when  properly  stretched,  the 


body  woald  luure  supplied  the  place  of  a  druro, 
and  but  little  paring  away  of  flesh  would  have 
fitted  the  l^a  and  shoulders  for  drumsticks. 
Of  fowls  we  had  every  variety,  and  the  curries 
were  excellent.  Reud  kept  two  experienced 
cooks ;  one  was  an  Indian,  well  ven^  in  all 
the  mysteries  of  apices  and  provocatives;  the 
other  a  Frenchman,  who  might  have  taken  a 
high  degree  in  Baron  Rothschild's  kitchen, 
which  Hebrew  kitchen  is,  we  understand^  the 
best  appointed  in  the  Christian  world.  The 
rivals  sometimes  knocked  a  pot  or  so  over,  with 
jts  luscious  contents,  in  their  contests  for  prece- 
dency, for  cooks  and  kings  have  their  failings 
in  common;  but,  I  must  confess,  that  their 
Creole  master  always  administered  even-handed 
justice,  by  very  scrupulously  flogging  them 
both. 

Welf,  we  will  suppose  the  dinner  done,  and 
the  West  Indian  dessert  on  the  table,  and  that 
during  the  repast  the  suavity  of  our  host  had^ 
been   exemplary.      He   found  some  means  of 
putting  each  of  us  on  good  terms  with  himself. 


3(Mt  RATTLm»  THE  ESBFERd 

Ajfc  how  little  expense  we  can  make  etdl  «cher 
happy  I  '    *i • 

The  refreshing  champagne  bad  careulatsd 
two  or  three  times,  and  the  pine^ippleai  htul 
been  acientifically  cut  by  Ae  soversiga  bttwl 
of  the  skipper,  who  now,  in  his  native  ngioni^ 
seemed  to  have  taken  to  himself  an^  increaaed 
portion  of  life.  All  this  time,  nothing,  persontd 
or  in  the  least  ofifensive  had  been  uttered*  iXb^ 
claret,  that  had  been  cooling  all  day,  by  die 
means  of  evaporation,  in  one  of  the-  qaartsr 
galleries,  was  produced,  and  the  captainr  or- 
dered a  couple  of  bottles  to  be  placed  to  each 
person,  with  the  exception  of  myself.  Having 
thrown  his  legs  upon  another  chair  than  that  on 
which  he  was  sitting,  he  commenced,  ^*Now^ 
gentlemen,  let  us  enjoy  ourselves.  We  have 
the  means  before  us,  and  we  should  be  very 
silly  not  to  employ  them.  In  a  hot  country, 
I  don't  like  the  trouble  of  passing  the  bottle.'' 

''  It  is  a  great  trouble  to  me  when  it  is  a 
full  one,"  said  Dr.  Thompson. 

'-  Besides,  the  bustle  and  the  exertion  de- 


RArr£iiir>  toe  ftBtt^Ri  SNU^' 


^ 


fttfojfl  Ui«  coBtiiiuily  of  h^h-toned  ond'hitd* 
lectaal  conversation/'  said  Captain  Reud,  *vfMi' 
amiable  gravity.     ;  • ' 

/^  It  is  coming  now,"  thought  I.  Lieutenant 
Silra  looked  at  first  embarrassed^  and  tfaena 
little  stem  <:  it  was  evidoit,  that  that  which  tbe^ 
captain  was 'pleased  to  designate  as  highlyi^oned' 
intellectual  eoiiTersati(m  was,  despite  his  literary; 
attainments,  and  the  pas  of  superiority  the  pub' 
liaUng  a  book  had  given  him,  no  longer  to  the 
author's  taste.  ^ 

^'  I  have  been  thinking,"  said  Captain  Reud, 
plaeing  the  fore  finger  of  his  left  hand,  with 
an  air  of  great  profundity,  on  the  left  side  of 
his  nose,  ^*  I  have  been  thinking  of  the  very 
curious  fatality  that  has  attached  itself  to  Mr. 
Silva's  excellent  work." 

^'  Under  correction.  Captain  Reud,"  said 
Silva,  ^^  if  you  would  permit  this  unforttftiate 
work  to  sink  into  the  oblivion  that  perhaps  it 
too  much  merits,  you  would  confer  upon  me, 
its  undeserving  author,  an  essential  favour." 

<<  By  no  means.  I  see  no  reason  why  I  may 
not  be  proud  of  the  book,  and  proud  of  the 


206  aATTUN^  THE  ftl^EFfiiU 

author  (Mr.  Silva  starts),  providing  the  book 
be  a  good  book;  indeed,  it  ia  a  great  thing 
for  me  to  say,  that  I  have  the  boQoar  to 
command  an  officer  whd  has  printed  a  book; 
the  mere  act  evineea  great  n6rt7e."  (Mr.  Silva 
winces.) 

**  And/'  said  the  wicked  purser,  ^^  Captain 
Rend,  you  must  be  every  way  the  gainer  by 
this.  The  worse  the  book,  the  greater  the 
courage.     If  Mr.  Silva's  wit ►" 

'^  You  may  test  my  wit  by  my  book,  Mr. 
,  if  you  choose  to  read  it/'  and  the  author 


looked  scornfully,  *'  and  my  courage,  when  we 
reach  Port  Royal,*'  and  the  officer  looked  mag- 
nificently. 

^*  No  more  of  this/'  said  the  captain.  ^^  I  was 
going  to  observe,  that  perhaps  I  am  the  only 
officer  on  the  station,  or  even  in  the  fleet,  that 
has  tinder  my  command  a  live  author,  with  the 
real  book  that  he  has  published.  Now,  Mr. 
Silva,  we  are  all  comfortable  here — no  offence 
is  meant  to  you — only  compliment  and  honour ; 
will  yon  permit  us  to  have  it  read  to  us  at  tlie 
present  meeting  ?  we  will  he  all  attention*    We 


BATTUK,  THE  E££FBm  20T 

will  not  deprire  y^u  of  your  wine -^  give  tht 
bodL  to  tbo  yoanker/' 

^'  If  you  will  be  ao  kind,  Captein  Read,  to 
promise  {5r  yoareelf  and  the  other  gentleraeQ^ 
to  raiae  no  disciiasioB  upon  any  particular 
phrase  that  may  arise.'* 

The  captain  did  promise.  We  shall  presently 
see  how  that  promise  was  kept.  The  book  was 
sent  for,  and  placed  in  my  hands.  Now,  I 
fully  opined,  that  at  least  we  should  get  past 
the  second  page.     I  was  curiously  mistaken. 

''  Here,  steward,"  said  the  skipper,  **  place 
half-a-bottle  of  claret  near  Mr.  Rattlin.  When 
your  throat  is  dry,  younker,  you  can  whet  your 
whistle ;  and  when  you  come  to  any  particu* 
larly  fine  paragraph,  you  may  wash  it  down 
with  a  glass  of  wine." 

**  If  that's  the  case,  sir,  I  think,  with  submis- 
sion, I  ought  to  have  my  two  bottles  before  me 
also ;  but,  if  I  follow  your  directions  implicitly. 
Captain  Reud,  I  may  get  drunk  in  the  first 
chapter." 

Mr.  Silva  thanked  even  a  midshipman,  with 
a  look  of  real  gratitude,  for  this  diversion  in 


008  nuTThiv,  ?^  m^^^^ff* 


hte  SMTour.  I  had  hegqa  tf  like^^the  fi;uii$,  $^ 
thfm  might  have  b^Q  fk  eeoret-v^fBlpftlfagr 
hfitween  us,  as  one  day  U  was  to  be  mjJEa^.lt^ 
wvite  myself,  authon  ,  ?- 

Having  adjusted  ourselyes  iatO;  ib^  •  fnoll 
eoiafortable  attitudes  that  we  could  aasQiM,  I 
b^patii  as  Lord  Ogleby  hath  U/.  wHb :'f)00d 
emphasis  and  good  discretion,"  Ic^read-  tbo 
<V^ur  up  and  down  the  Rio  d0  la  Pt^tei*- 
Before  I  began,  the  Captain  bad  seixi;^  ik^ 

master,  and  the  honourable  Mr.  B-^ n^,  8p>l 

had  a  very  respectable  audience. 

I  had  no  sooner  finished  the  passagei  *^>  After 
we  had  paved  our  way  down  the  river^  •'  thai) 
with  one  accord,  and  evidently  by  preconcertf 
every  one,  stretching  forth  his  right  hamd,  as 
do  the  witches  in  Macbeth,  roared  out,  ^'  Stop-!,*' 
It  was  too  ludicrous.  My  eyes  ran  with  tears, 
as  I  laid  down  the  book,  with  outragepiis 
laughter.  Mr.  Silva  started  to  his  feet,  and 
was  leaving  the  cabin,  when  he  was  ordered  baok 
by  Captain  Reud.  An  appearance  of  amioa* 
bility  was  assumed,  and  to  the  old  ai^ument 
they  went,  baiting  the  poor  author,  like  a  befor 


^M  iii  ti  Stctke:  ^  Debating  b  k  tbinil9<:  A^H 
iHe^b  botfk^'  t6  each/  and  tw6  rAomi  ^i^iAtf 
dia$iffe^t^ ;  t)ie  mntr  hegan ' ta  opdvaim^'MA 
with  the  combatants,  discretion  was  -W)^  iMget 
the  bettidf  paH  of  valonr.  .,  (  .-H 

Whihil  words  Mt  fiist  and  farions^  I  c/ba^tmA 
sonitthitig  abdut  eight  feet  long  a^d  'one  lilgli^ 
M  the 'deck  of  the  cabin,  covered  with  ^the 
ensigkki  It  leoksd  nrach  like  a  decorated  ^t 
Mr.  SUva  wottld  not  admit  the  phrase  to  1i^ 
improper,  and  consequently  his  associates  wotild 
not  permit  the  reading  to  proceed.  Daring 
meM  of  this  time  the  captain  was  convulsed  with 
laughter,  and  whenever  he  saw  the  commotion 
at  all  lulling,  he  immediately,  by  some  ill-timed 
remlu*k,  renewed  it  to  its  accustomed  fury.  At 
length,  as  the  seamen  say,  they  all  had  got  a 
doth  in  the  wind — the  captain  two  or  three, 
And  it  was  approaching  the  time  for  beating  ib 
^flirtere.  The  finale,  therefore,  as  previously 
altftanged,  was  acted.  Captain  Reud  rose,  amd 
steadjring  himself  on  his  legs,  by  placing  one 
btad  on  the  back  of  his  chair,  and  the  other  oh 
tike  shoulder  of  the  gentleman  that  sat  nfezt  to 


210  RATTUN,  THB  BBBTSEt 

him^  spoke  thus : — ^'  Geotlemen-^rm  «o  tdio- 
lar — that  is— you  comprehend  foUy-«-Kixi  deck, 
there^-don't  keep  that  d  >  n  d  trampling^-aad 
put  me  out — where  was  IV* 

''  Please  sir/*  said  I,  ^*  ypu  were  eajring  yiM 
were  no  scholar.'^ 

^*  I  wasn't^-^^couldn't  have  said  80«  I  had  the 
best  of  educations — but  all  my  maatera  wero 
dull — d  d  dull — so  they  couldn't  teaeh  a 
quick  lad,  like  me,  too  quick  for  them — couldn't 
overtake  me  with  their  d-  ■  d  learning.  I'm 
a  straightforward  man.  IVe  commoa  sense — 
com— common  sense.  Let  us  take  a  comnaon 
sense  view  of  this  excruciation — ex — ex — I 
mean  exquisite  argument.  Gentlemen,  come 
here,"  and  the  captain  between  two  supporters, 
and  the  rest  of  the  company,  with  Mr.  Silva, 
approached  the  mysterious^looking,  elongated 
affair,  that  lay,  like  the  corpse,  covered  with 
the  Union  Jack,  of  some  lanky  giant,  who  had 
run  himself  up  into  a  consumption  by  a  growth 
too  rapid.  The  doctor  and  purser,  who  were 
doubtlessly  in  the  secret,  wore  each  a  look  of 
the  most  perplexing  gravity,  the  captain  one 


of  triampliant  miiebief ;  tfaa  real  of  us^  que  cf 
the  most  ufife^oed  wonder. 

**  If/'  spluttered  out  Captain  Beod^  atenurav 
ing  over  the  yet  eoncealed  thing.  *^  If^  Mr. 
Pavier»  yfm  can  pare  your  way  down  a 
nver — — 

*'  My  name,  atr,  is  Don  Alphonso  Ribidiero 
da  Stlva/'  said  the  annoyed  lientenant^  with  a 
dignified  how. 

**  Well,  then^  Jkm  Alphonso  Ribo4ire-dear-o 
damned  Silra,  if  you  can  pave  your  way  down  a 
riTer,  let  us  see  how  you  can  pave  it  in  a  small 
way  down  this  koff^traugh  full  of  water/' pluck- 
ing away,  with  the  assistance  of  his  confede* 
rates^  the  ensign  that  covered  it. 

"  With  fools'  heads/'  roared  out  the  exaspe* 
rated,  and  I  fear,  not  very  sober,  Portuguese. 

Though  I  was  close  by,  I  could  not  fully 
comprehend  the  whole  manoeuvre.  The  cap* 
tam  was  head  and  shoulders  immersed  in  the 
filthy  trough,  which,  unekaned,  was  taken  from 
the  manger,  that  part  of  the  main  deck  directly 
under  the  forecastle,  and  filled  with  salt  water. 
The  doctor  and  purser  had  taken   a  greater 


£18  RikirrLm^  ¥ti&  ^W^. 

lurch,  and  iallen  over  it,  sousing  their  white 
waistcoats,  and  well-arranged  shirt  frills,  in  the 
dirty  mixture.  The  rest  of  us  contrived  to 
keep  our  legs.  The  ship  was  running  before 
the  wind,  and  rolling  considerably,  and  the  mo- 
tion aided  by  the  wine,  and  the  act  of  plucking 
aside  the  flag,  might  have  precipitated  the  cap- 
tain into  his  unenviable  situation — he  thought 
otherwise.  No  sooner  was  he  placed  upon  his 
feet,  and  his  mouth  sufficiently  clear  from  the 
salt  water  decoction  of  hog-wash — than  he  col- 
lared the  poor  victim  of  persecution,  and  splut- 
tered out,  "  Mutiny — mu — mu — mutiny- 
sentry.  Gentlemen,  I  call  you  all  to  witness, 
that  Mr.  Silra  has  laid  violent  hands  upcfu 
me. 

The  "  pavier  of  ways*'  was  immediately  put 
under  arrest,  and  a  marine,  with  a  drawn  bayo- 
net, placed  at  his  cabin  door,  and  the  eiaptain 
had  to  repair  dami^es,  vowing  the  most  impIlBb- 
cable  vengeance  for  having  been  shoved  intd 
his  own  hog*trough.  Did  ever  any  body  know 
any  good  come  of  hoaxing  f 


AAXn«IN^  THE 


218 


CHAPTER  XVII. 

The  palisade  banquet,  and  Mi^or  Fhiahfire's  anthein  to 
YeUow  Jack—WWs  afraid?— The  sands  ofliie's  boat* 
glass  will  run  out  rapidly,  unless  well  soaked  with  wine. 


Wx  will  despatch  the  object  of  persecution  in 
a  few  words.  Lieutenant  Silva  was  given  the 
option  of  a  oourtrmartial^  or  of  exchanging 
into  a  skK^  of  war.  He  chose  the  latter.  The 
captain  and  his  messmates  saw  him  over  the 
aido,  two  days  after  we  had  anchored  in  Port 
Royal.  .  The  spiteful  commander  purposely 
ccmtrivedy  when  his  effects  were  whipped  into 
the  boat,  that  one  of  the  heavy-,  suspidoiis- 
looking  cases  should  be  swung  against  the  gun 


214      RATTUN,  THE  RBBFBR^ 

and  smashed.  The  resalt  was  exactly  what 
we  all  expected.  The  water  was  strewed  with 
copies^  in  boards,  of  the  *'  Tour  up  and  down 
the  Rio  de  la  Plate."  They  most  certainly 
have  been  light  reading,  as  they  floated  aboat 
triumphantly.  **  I  wonder  whether  they  will 
pave  their  way  up  to  Kingston,"  said  the  cap- 
tain, with  a  sneer. 

As  the  author  would  not  sufier  them  to 
be  picked  up,  they  sank,  one  by  one,  and 
disappeared,  like  the  remembrance  of  thdr 
creator  in  the  minds  of  his  oompaniona.  We 
heard,  a  few  weeks  after,  that  he  had  died  of 
the  yellow  fever ;  and  thus  he,  with  his  books, 
was  consigned  to  oblivion,  of  is  only  rescued 
from  it,  if  haply  this  work  da  not  share  his  fiite, 
by  this  short  memento  of  him. 

Yellow  fever  I  malignant  consume  of  the 
brave!  how  shall  I  adequately  apostrophise 
thee?  I  have  looked  in  thy  jaimdiced  fiice, 
whilst  thy  maw  seined  insatiate.  But  onee 
didst  thou  lay  thy  scorched  hand  up<m  my 
fi^me,  but  the  sweet  voice  of  woman  startled 
thee  from  thy  prey,  and  the  flame  of  leve  was 


RATTtlK,  THE  RBErSH.  215 

sironger  than  even  thy  desolating  flre.  Bnt 
now  is  not  the  time  to  tell  of  thii^  bat  rather  of 
the  eagerness  with  which  most  of  my  compa- 
nions sought  to  avoid  thee. 

Captain  Rend  had  got,  apparently,  into  his 
natural^  as  well  as  natiTe^  climate.  The  hotter 
it  was,  like  a  cridcet,  he  chirped  the  loader,  and 
enjoyed  it  the  more.  Youi^  and  restless,  he 
was  the  personification  of  mischierons  humour 
and  sly  annoyance.  The  tales  he  told  of  the 
fever  were  ominous,  appalling,  fittal.  None 
could  live  who  had  not  been  seasoned,  and  none 
could  outlive  the  seasoning.  For  myself,  I 
might  have  been  frightened,  had  I  not  been  so 
constantly  occupied  in  discussing  pine-apples. 
But  the  climax  was  yet  to  be  given  to  the  fears 
of  the  fearful. 

All  the  officers  that  could  be  spared  from 
the  ship  were  invited  to  dine  with  the  mess  of 
Ihe  €Dth  regiment,  then  doing  duty  at  Kingston 
and  Port  Royal.  That  day.  Captain  Read 
having  been  invited  to  dine  with  the  admiral  at 
the  Penn,  we  were  consequently  deprived  of  his 
fisKsetiousness.    All  the  lieutenants  and  the  ward- 


9|f  uamsiv  ihb  jdUffili^ 


y9VK%  oC^tiMi ^nxij, :  ^Tke-mmi^mMt  ihtttfiiiXP 

table,  chequeved .  red  and  Ms«/ ^Ih  WkjiOtP- 
IgMtfiray:  die  offiear  ih  cdvamiemA  dfllMi^^ 
8f  9, 4it>lhe  top  of  the  taUi),  all  scterlet'iyi'^ 
fttt4  <mr  own  dear  Doctor  Thoiripeoii,  VII  itea^  * 
aad  bkiQ>.at  the  bottom.    These  t#6f  fefeMIettiiwi ' 
w^one:  wonderfally  alike.    The*  tiiajok^s  ieaHet' 
was  not  confined  to  his  reginieatlilfl':  It  ooVeMld" 
his  fkoe.    lliere  was  not  a  oool^tpdt  in'  that 
flaoieHM>Ioared  region ;  the  yellow  of  his'  isj2i' 
was'Uood-ghoty  and  his  nose  was  richly  Bar* ' 
dolphian.    The  expression  of  his  feattires  Was 
thiMt ;  but  it  was  a  jovial  thirst  withal— a  thirst 
that  bamed  to  be  supplied,  encourage,  pain-  ' 
pared.     The  very  idea  of  water  was  repdgniant 
to  it.     Hydrophobia  was  written  upon  the  ma- 
jor's brow. 

We   have    described   our   rubicund   doetor 
before.     He  always  looked  warm,  but  shiee'Us 
entrance  into  the  tropics,  he  had  been  more  tiiaii  '* 
hot,  he  had  been  always  steaming.     There  Wis  ' 
almost  a  perceptible  mist   about  hitti. '  fi^' 


vwii§ik;;p9$nmt4^vm  Air  adiM  BcnA'UKt^ 
rm}Q^;f\hi$w9i^mwtiomtktot;  'Iris  elMib»w«ipf 
ooortaiUly^  pnvbofling  in  Ihtir  oins'  pempiivtiMi - 
H(|:pis  amset  cr<H;plcr  fofimr  iKwt;  -«^^ 

Saoged  on  eaei^^ide  of  tbis  tioUa  ptAtrnmf^ 
the  lopg  linei  r^f  very  pale  and  anzioiis  fiuMe,  <f ' 
reiUy  inn^t  aieepi  my  owa,  for  my  &oe  ntww 
locJcedfnuuoaatilL  I  thought  of  marrying,  orpitof 
tUl:I  took  to  scribbling,)  the  possessors  of  whidv' 
were  esperieneing  a  little  the  torment  of  Tsnla^^ 
lus.  The  palisadeS)  those  graves  of  sand,  turned 
into  a  rich  compost  by  the  eyer-recorring  burial, 
weraidireclly  under  the  windows,  and  the  land- 
bre^  came  over  them,  chill  and  dank,  in  pal- 
pable currents,  through  the  jalousies,  into  the 
heated  room ;  and,  had  one  thrust  his  head  into 
the  moonlight  and  looked  beneath,  he  would 
have  seen  hundreds  of  the  shell-clad  vampires, 
upon  their  long  and  contorted  legs,  moving 
hideously  round,  and  scrambling  horribly  over 
n^wly  made  mounds,  each  of  which  contained 
the  still  fresh  corpse  of  a  warrior,  or  of  the  land, 
or^of  the  ocean.  In  a  small  way,  your  landv 
crab  is  a  most  inde&tigable  resurrectioaistv 

VOL.  II.  L 


218       RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

But  there  is  retribution  for  their  yillany.  They 
get  eaten  in  their  turn.  Delicate  feeding  they 
are,  doubtlessly;  and  there  can  be  no  manner  of 
question,  but  that,  at  that  memorable  dinner  a 
double  banquet  was  going  on,  upon  a  most 
excellent  principle  of  reciprocity.  The  epicure 
crab  was  feeding  upon  the  dish,  man,  below, 
whilst  epicure  man  was  feeding  upon  the  diahed- 
up  crab  above.  True,  the  guests  knew  it  not ; 
I  mean  those  who  did  not  wear  testaceous 
armour :  the  gentlemen  in  the  coats  of  mail 
knew  very  well  what  they  were  about.  It  was,  at 
the  time  of  which  I  am  speaking,  a  standing  joke  . 
to  make  Johnny  NewcomB  eat  land-crab  dis- 
guised in  some  savoury  dish.  Thank  God,  that 
was- more  than  a  quarter  of  a  century  ago.  We 
trust  that  the  social  qualities  and  the  culinary 
refinements  of  the  West  Indians  do  not  now 
march  a  Vecrevisse  and  progress  i  reculons. 

There  we  all  sat,  prudence  coqueting  with 
appetite,  and  the  finest  yellow  curries  contending 
with  the  direst  thoughts  of  yellow  fever.  Ever 
and  anon  some  amiable  youth  would  dash  off  a 
bumper  of  claret  with   an  air  of  desperate 


EATTLm>  THE  BEEFBR.      219 

bravery,  and  tiben  turn  pale  at  the  idea  of  his 
own  temerity.  The  moat  cautioaa  were  Scotch 
assistant-surgeons,  and  pale  young  ensigns  who 
played  the  flute.  The  midshipmen  feasted  and 
feared.  The  major  and  the  doctor  kept  on  the 
<>  even  tenor  of  their  way/'  that  is,  they  ate  and 
drank  i  Fenvie. 

We  will  now  suppose  the^king*s  health  drank, 
with  the  hearty  and  loyal,  God  bless  him  ?  from 
every  lip — the  navy  drank,  and  thanks  returned 
by  the  doctor,  with  bis  mouth  full  of  vegetable 
marrow — the  army  drank,  and  thanks  returned 
by  the  major,  after  clearing  his  throat  with  a 
bumper  of  brandy— and  after  '*  Rule  Britannia*' 
had  ceased  echoing  along  the  now  silent  espla- 
nade, that  had  been  thundered  forth  with  such 
energy  by  the  black  band,  an  awful  pause  en- 
sues.    Our  first  lieutenant  of  marines  rises,  and, 
like  conscience,  '^  with  a  still  small  voice,"  thus 
delivers  himself  of  the  anxiety  with  which  his 
breast  was  labouring. 

"  Major  Flushfire,  may  I  claim  the  privilege 
of  the  similar  colour  of  our  cloth  to  entreat  the 
favour  of  your  attention  ?    Ah !  heh !  —  but  this 

l2 


320  RATTUN>  THE  BJBEFPR^ 


i  - 


land-breeze — laden,  perhaps^  with  the  geirpB  of 
the  yellow — fever — mephitic — and^all  that — 
you  understand  me.  Dr.  Thompson  ?'* 
'^  As  much  as  you  do  yourself.'* 
*'  Thank  you — men  of  superior  education— 
sympathy — and  all  that — you  understand  me 
fuliy^  major.     Now  this  night-breeze  comii^ 
throngh  that  half-open  jalousie — miasmata — 
and  all  that.   Dr.  Armstrong,  Dr*  Thompson — 
medical  pill — "pillars  of  the  state" — you'll 

pardon  the  classical  allusion *' 

"  I  won't,"  growled  out  the  doctor. 
"Ah — so  like  you — so  modest — but  don't 
you  think  the  draught  is  a  liftle  dangerous  ?" 

"  Do  you  mean  the  doctor's,  or  this  ?"  said 

the  inattentive  and  thirsty  nuyor,  fetching  a 

deep  breath,  as  he  put  down  the  huge  glass 

tumbler  of  sangaree. 

"O  dear  no! — I  mean  the  night  draught 

thrauah  the  window." 

'  .     ■   •  •  "'.'..♦•■ 

"The  best  way  to  dispose  of  it,"  said  the 
p^rseri  nodding  at  the  melting  Galen. 

"  JNOt'*  replied  Major  Flusbfire,  coutteou^y, 
'*rtiere's  no  danger  ifi  it  at  all— I  like  it.". 


ac)£ii*? 


BLATTLlN,  THE  REEFfeK*  281 

.    '^  BleBs  ine,  nmjoV  sdd  t&e  mariii^;  ^^trfty 
it  comes  all  in  gusts.**  .    -  .      : 

''  Like  it  all  the  better,""  rej6in^  tlie  nUijo^; 
with  his  head  again  half  buried  in  the'  sangaree 
glass. 

*'  De  gusiibus  nan  est  disputandum^  bteerved 
Thompson. 

'*  Very  trde/*  said  the  marine  officer,  looidiig 
sapiently.  ''  That  remark  of  yours  about  tbi6 
winds  is  apposite.  We  ought  to  dispute  iheit 
entrance,  as  you  said  in  Latin.  But  is  it  quit^ 
fair,  my  .dear  doctor,  for  you  and  me  to  con- 
terse  in  Latin?  We  may  be  taking  an  undue 
advantage  of  the  rest  of  the  company." 

'*  Greek !  Greek  !**  said  the  purser. 

"  Ay,  certainly  —  it  was  Greek  to  Mr. 
Smallcoates,"  muttered  Thompson. 

'*To  be  sure  it  was,"  said  the  innocent 
marine.  *'  Major  Flushfire,  continued  he, 
once  more  on  his  legs,  '*  may  I  again  entreat 
thQ  honour  of  your  attention.  Dr.  Thompson 
has  just  proved,  by  a  quotation  from  a  Greek 
author,  T^rgil  or  Paracelsus,  I  am  not  certain 
which,  that  the  entrance  of  the  night  air  into 


223      RATTLIN^  THE  RBBFBR^ 

a  hot  room  is  highly  injariam,  and  hi -^  ill — 
and  all  that.  You  understand  me  perfectly-^ 
would  it  be  askii^  too  much  to  fa«va  all  the 
windows  elosed  ?" 

^'  Ovens  and  furnaces !"  cried  out  the  dudr^ 
man,  starting  up.  ''  Look  at  me  and  worthy 
Doctor  Thompson.  Are  we  persons  to  ettjoy  a 
repetition  of  the  Blackhole  of  Calcutta?  The 
sangaree,  Quasha — suffocation!  The  thought 
chokes  me!"  and  he  recommenced  his  devo* 
tions  to  the  sangaree. 

**  It  melts  me/'  responded  the  doctor,  swah- 
bing  his  face  with  the  napkin. 

"Are  you  afraid  of  taking  cold?'*  aidd  the 
purser  to  Mr.  Smallcoates. 

''Taking  cold — let  the  getitleman  take  his 
wine,"  said  the  major. 

*'  I  must  confess  I  am  not  so  much  afraid  of 
cold  as  of  fever.  I  believe,  major,  you  have 
been  three  years  in  this  very  siogularly  hot 
and  cold  climate.  Now,  my  dear  sir,  niay  I 
tax  your  experience  to  tell  us  which  is  th^ 
better  method  of  living?  Some  say  tempe- 
rance, carried  out  even  to  abatemiousneBs^  is  die 


RATTUN^  T0B  EBSFBft.  2M 

flafer ;  othart,  that  the  ferar  is  best  repelled  by 
deTil*8  punch,  burnt  brandy,  and  high  living. 
Indeed,  I  may  say  that  I  speak  at  the  request 
of  my  messmates.  Do,  major,  give  us  your 
opinion/' 

**  I  think,"  said  the  man  of  thirst,  **  the  me- 
dical gentlemen  should  be  ^>plied  to  in  prefer^ 
ence  to  an  old  soldier  like  mysel£  They  have 
great  practice  in  disposing  of  fever  cases/' 

**  But  if  we  must  die,  either  of  diet  or  the 
doctor,  I  am  for  knowing,"  said  the  purser, 
''  not  what  doctor,  but  what  sort  of  diet,  is  most 
dilatory  in  its  despatch." 

^*  Well,  I  will  not  answer  the  question,  but 
state  the  Seu^ts.  My  messmates  can  vouch  for 
the  truth  of  them.  Five  years  ago,  and  not 
three,  I  came  out  with  a  battalion  of  this  r^- 
ment.  We  mustered  twenty-five  oflBoers  in  all. 
We  asked  ourselves  the  very  same  question 
you  have  just  asked  of  me.  We  split  into  two 
parties,  nearly  even  in  number.  Twelve  of  us 
took  to  water,  temperance,  and  all  manner  of 
preservatives;  the  other  thirteen  of  us  led  a 
harum-*scarum    life,  ate  whenever  we  were 


not  thirsty ;  and,  to  ci«^jte,Ai^^RH9^f>»  ^R^^ 

the  water,  or  substituted  xnadfis|)fJ^fJilk}^ 

iJ^ip§l<WBWP^f .  TliiS:jBWfti9%  ^^W.:b«ly, 
%e  Jacjt  FalBj;a^,  WW,  giv^,,Jq;^ej^ 

^ijlkhpa^  fjx  ino9nUgbt,nig|ii^:fJt»PtiMr«iJte 
iRiddaj  sup,  liding  ra(^,  )an4,j)oi^q;tiaiu9f|  hmA 
assb^ng—a— a— at  driijking  ^^^^i)|^/^^ ...yj,, 

Here  the,  wort;hj  soldier .-inade..  %;jpipiffin  jiy 
peared  more  thirsty  than  ey^f,  bP^^.-Qyc^^ 
for  not  brandying  his  sangarec^,  faid  viniggo^ 
it  with  the  air  of  Alexander  wheui  he  ppqicqcdflA 
to  drain  the  cup  that  was  fata^  he. -looked 
round  with  conscious  superiority. .  The  pajllli 
ensign  looked  more  palcr-r thetentiraental,  lie|fcyj 
tenants  more  sentimental — :inany  thrift  theitt 
wine  and  their  punch  from  .before  them,  iwd> 
there  was  a  sudden  competition  for  tbe^watferrj^iig,; 
The  marine  canricKl  a  stronger  expreasiQn.tfcfm 
anxiety  uppp  his  features— it  .was  qonstemi^iifviii 
—and  thus  httitfttinglyde^ypred  himself:  ,..^q, 

"  And — so-— so — sir — the  bon  ]ip:i(A^<;;t-49t) 


RA¥i%i#,  ^i  ^is^fi^.  M 


^btP^^fM6n  in^^Mt^tg  ail4{bm)^^1^Ui 
s*  txmsay,  %*.  Binalkbiit& ;  and  iJrlihi^  M 

«MtKieh£M(^eiii  tnbre  detddiia  tiiiiti  e^i^J  i^ct^ 
<lMe^  #1^  dM  hot  kotuaHy  ptiBh  liwaf  IliW 
claret,  VraCefred  it  He  imperturbable  'i^ln# 
bMrndfed  bill  sangaree  more  potency. 
-  '"»  Batf  iaid  Mr.  Smallooates,  brighttoingf 
ikfFy  ^  iSie  tetiiperate  gentlemen  afl  escaped  tlie 

*'*^1  b^  yonr  pardon— M^y  all  died  within 
Vktyeetr.  I  alone  remain  of  all  the  officers  to 
tdn*  the  tale.  The  year  eight  was  dreadlui. 
Fobr  fellow8!"  The  good  major*s  voice  fal- 
tiSrisdj  'and  he  bent  over  his  sangare^  mdch 
ld^6i^  than 'was  necessary  to  enjoy  the  draught'.^ 

-^^btilc  horror  passed  her  fearful  glance  Ifrom 
|(i«arfe  tb'  guest.  Even  the  fubicund  "aiitorii 
mouth  -  irlrafr  Witched  awry.  I  did  not  c[uit6 
Xm^^itp^i     ''     "''"'    -^- ->^- ^^^''^■' 

1.6 


920      RATTLiN^  THE  RBEPER. 

'*  But  Fm  alive/'  said  the  major,  raUjing 
up  from  his  bitter  recolleetioos,  *'  and  the 
brandy  is  just  as  invigorating^  and  the  wine 
just  as  refreshing,  as  ever/* 

'*  The  major  is  alive/'  said  the  marine  office, 
very  sapiently.  ''  Is  that  brandy  before  youy 
Mr.  Farmer  ?  I'll  trouble  you  for  it — I  really 
feel  this  claret  very  cold  upon  my  stomach. 
Yes/'  he  repeated,  after  taking  down  a  tum- 
bler full  of  half  spirits,  half  wine,  *^  the  major 
is  alive — and — so  am  I." 

*'  The  major  is  alive,"  went  round  the  table ; 
''  let  us  drink  his  health  in  bumpers.*' 

The  major  returned  thanks,  and  volunteered 
a  song.  I  begged  it,  and  the  reader  may  sing 
it  as  he  pleases,  though  I  shall  pleas0  myself 
by  recording  how  the  major  was  pleased  to 
have  it  sung. 

"  Gentlemen,"  said  he,  *'  you  will  do  me 
the  favour  to  fill  a  bumper  of  lemonade,  and 
when  I  cry  chorus^  chorus  me  standing,  with 
the  glasses  in  your  hands ;  and  at  the  end  of 
each  chorus  you  will  be  pleased  to  remember^ 
that  the  glass  is  to  be  drained.     No  heel-taps 


RATTUN^  THB  REEFER.      227 

after^  and  no  daylight  before.  Now  for  it,  my 
lads  !'*  and  with  a  voice  that  must  have  startled 
the  land  crabs  from  their  avocations,  he  roared 
out — 

*'  Yellow  Jack  1  Yellow  Jack  I  hie  thee  back  1  hie  thee 
backl 
To  thy  damp,  drear  abode  in  the  jungle ; 
ni  be  sober  and  staid. 
And  drink  lexonadb. 
Try  and  catch  me— you'll  make  a  sad  bungle, 

YeUow  Jack  1 

"  But  he  came,  the  queer  thief,  and  he  seized  my  right 

hand. 
And  I  writh'd  and  I  struggled,  yet  could  not  withstand 
His  hot  griping  grasp,  though  I  drank  lemonade, — 
He  grinn*d  and  he  clutch'd  me,  though  sober  and  staid. 

Chorus,  (with  increasing  loudnets.) 
**  Yellow  Jack  1  Yellow  Jack !  hie  thee  back !  hie  thee 
backl 
To  thy  damp,'  drear  abode  in  the  jungle ; 
Well  be  sober  and  staid, 
And  we*ll  drink  lemonade. 
Try  and  catch  us — you'll  make  a  sad  bungle. 

Yellow  Jack!  (tremembmsfy.) 


8ang, 

<f  Yellow  Jack!  YeUow  Jackl  bie  thee  Uc^l  hie  thee 
back! 
To  thy  pestilent  swamp  qQic)Jy  hi^  tljee^;^^  ^  •  u  • 
For  I'll  drink  sangabeb. 
Whilst  my  heart's  full  of  glee. 
In  thy  denth^doing  tatghl  i'U  dcfy-tbee;^!  L    I;  i,  .vH 

<<  But  the  fiend  perserer'd  and  got  hoid'«f4ii^-iAieJ  -^'-''^  x^' 
H«w  I  hun'di  and  I  firose,  and  all  nw&ly  1  tAei"*'-*  (>'< « ^'' 
To  get  lid  of  his  grasp— though  I  drank  sangareey^^^'  • 
No  longer  my  bosom  exulted  with  glee. 

CuoRUSy  (it ill  more  kmitjf,)         \    x   •  ■  -. 
<«  Yellow  Jack!  Yellow  Jack!  hie  thee  btokI:hie  thee 
back! 
To  thy  pestilent  swamp  quickly  hie  thee  ;  '  . 
For  we*ll  drink  flangare6» 
Whilst  our  hearts  throb  with  glee^ 
In  thy  deatlv^oing  might  we  defy  thee, 

YeUowJa/ck!" 

After  the  Bangaree,  strong  and,  highly  spiced, 

had  been  quaffed,  the  excitement  grew  wilder, 

and  the  leader  of  our  revels  exclaimed  at  the 


..   ;.J./ 


top  of  his  voice,  ^^  Wine,  gentlemen,  wine-r, 
llrimmers !''  and  thus  continued — 


\  ,  \^    hut 


1^  .  I 


Begone  to  thy  father,  old  Sootie ; 

^ure  wiKE  now  M  drink, 

So  Jack,  I  sliould  think. 
Of  me  thou  wilt  tterer  make  booty, 

Yellow  Jack  I 

**  Bat  a  third  time  beeama,  ottd  seized  holddf  my^heiid ; 
Tvas'innraia  fhat  the  doctor  both  blister'd  and  bled ; 
My  han4^4Uid  jBiy  8ide>  and  my  heart  too,  I  think,     -    ■ '{  ' 
Would  800ft  liai«  been  lost,  though  pore  wine  I  Inigiit^ 

drink.  ■     A 

Cborus. 
**  Yelbw  Jack  I  Yelkm  Jack  1  hie  thee  back  1  hie  thee 
bickl 
Begone  to  thy  father,  old  Sootie, 
Pore  wine  now  we'll  drink, 
So  Jack,  we  should  think, 
Of  us  thou  wilt  never  make  booty, 

Yellow  Jack  I 

"  Brandy !"  shouted  the  major.  "  Brandy- 
he's  a  craven  who  shirks  the  call."  There  was 
no  one  there  craven  but  myself.  My  youth 
excused  my  apostasy  from  the  night's  orgies. 
The  major  resumed,  his  red  face  intensely  hot 
and  arid. 


230      RATTLIN,  THE  RBBFER. 

«  Yellow  Jack  I  Yellow  Jack  I  hie  thee  Inck  \  hie  thee 

back! 
To  the  helldam^  Corruption,  thy  mother ; 
For  with  brandy  I*ll  save 
My  heart,  and  thus  brave 
Thee,  aud  fell  Death,  Aine  own  brother. 

Yellow  Jack ! 

'^  To  brandy  I  took,  then  Jack  took  his  leave. 
Brandy-punch  and  neat  brandy  drink  mom,  noon,  and  eve. 
At  night  drink,  then  sleep,  and  be  sure,  my  brave  boys. 
Naught  will  quell  yellow  Jack,  but  neat  brandy  and  noise. 

The  Chorus,  (most  tiproariously.) 

'*  Yellow  Jack  1   Yellow  Jack  1  hie  thee  back !   hie  thee 

back! 

To  the  helldam,  Corruption,  thy  mother; 

For  with  brandy  well  save 

Our  hearts,  and  thus  brave 

Thee,  and  fell  Death,  thine  own  brother. 

Yellow  Jack  1" 

At  last  "  Yellow  Jack"  was  thundered  out 
loud  enough  to  awake  his  victims  from  the 
palisades.  The  company  were  just  then  fit 
for  any  thing,  but  certainly  most  fit  for  mis- 


RATTLIIfy  THE  SIfiEFER* 


SSI 


chief.  Our  first  lieutenant  intimated  to  me 
that  the  jolly-boat  was  waiting  to  take  the 
junior  oflBcers  on  board — considerate  man — so 
I  took  the  hinty  marvelling  much  upon  the 
scene  that  I  had  just  witnessed. 

Whether  or  not  there  was  any  mystic  virtue 
in  the  exorcisory  cantation  of  the  previous 
night  I  cannot  determine;  but  it  is  certain, 
that  next  morning,  though  headachs  abounded 
among  our  officers,  indications  of  the  yellow 
fever  there  were  none. 


saa^ 


&ATrLIN>  THX  PBBinLd 


^;*% 


♦  ."    ■-'. 


"*•".    ; 


■'•■'■     ■■     '1  :  .1?    «*-*fT 


fitf;* 


• 


.  'r    ■       f 


•--J 


J-'.    . 


CHAPTER  XVHLh  ti  :v>c.[y  ^.( 


.     'l.'i'^'-^i^X^*    ^'xT 


loMbordioatioQ  ibUowed  by  eleTnUpii-^^'  inWt<i|i|M^ML> 
triced  up  in  mid*air|  aiid  aflbiding  %.  pm^tiqal^.^iigpy 
•D  oscillatioQ — Ail  truck  and  no  barter. 


'•^''^avr 


^oi 


But  as  it  is  not  my  intention  to  write  a  'marj 
of  my  life,  whicb  was  like  all  other  midsl 
men's  lives  in  the  West  Indies,  I  d^dl  (dw^^ 
over  Bome  months,  daring  wfaiefa  wtt  r^AudU^' 
tolerably  healthy,  took  many  prizes,  'ciif{'''olit 
some  privateers,  and  spent  mon^  so  'rftpHBy 
gained,  in  a  manner  still  more  rapid.  -  '^i-  ^-^ 
Of  my  own  messmates  I  remember  btri^ilin?' 
Tliisy  Vere  generally  sfaoekingly  i^Mitai^f^iUh^^ 
men,  who  had  left  school  too  early,  to  whom 


books  were  an  aversion,  and  all  knowledge^ 
save  that  merely  naatical,  a  derision.     I  had  to 
go  more  often  to  fisty-cn£b  with  these  youths,  in 
defending  my  three-deckers — words  of  Latin 
or  Greek  derivation  —  than  on  any  other  occa* 
sion.    I  remember  well  that  the  word  **  idiosyn* 
crasy**  got  me  two  black  eyes,  and  my  oppo- 
nent as  ^*  pretty  a  luxation*'  of  the  shoulder 
by  being  tumbled  down  the  main  hatchway  at 
the  dose  of  th^  Combat,  as  any  man  of  mode* 
rate  expectations  might  desire.     I  was  really 
oMigted  to'^^  lAind  my  parts  of  speech.     I  kno^f 
that  idistead  of  using  the  obnoxious  word,  idujl* 
syncrasy,  I  should  have  said,  that  Mr.  So-aiid^ 
SQ^b^  ^'Va  list  to  port  in  his  ideas."     I  cpn^. 
fe»  j3)y  .error — my  sin  against  elegance  was 
SSff^S  >  ^^  ^^  must  be  said  in  extenuation,  that 
tk^  X  was  young  and  foolish, 
^liow^yer^  I  really  liked  my  mode  of  lif%. 
Njofyri^tand  ing  my  occasional  squabbles  ^it}f , 
my  messmates  upon  my  inadvertently  lai^pdi-,. 
ing|f|^c8|^4r^te, .  I  can  safely  say,  I  was  b^omd 
b^fVfmr;  body.— -nor  is  the  term  too  stconjgp*^ 


^  -  J. 


234      RATTLIN^  THE  RBEFER* 

The  captain  liked  me  beeaiue  I  was  alwayi 
well  dressedy  of  an  engaging  appearaiioe,  aad 
a  very  handsome  appendage  to  his  gig^  and 
aid-de-eamp  in  his  visits  on  shore;  poiuqis 
from  some  better  motives -^thongfa  certainly, 
amidst  all  his  kindness  to  me»  he  onoe  treated 
me  most  tyrannously. 

The  doctor  and  the  purser  liked  me,  becanse 
I  could  converse  with  them  rationally  upon 
matters  not  altogether  nautical*  The  master 
almost  adored  me,  because,  having  a  good  na^ 
tural  talent  for  drawing,  I  made  him  plans  of 
the  hold,  and  the  stowage  of  his  tiers  ol  water* 
casks,  and  sketches  of  headlands  in  his  privats 
log-book,  to  all  which  he  was  condescending 
enough  to  plit  his  own  name.  The  other  su^ 
perior  officers  thought  me  a  very  good  sort  of 
fellow,  and  my  messmates  liked  me,  becanse 
I  was  always  happy  and  cheerful—- and  lent 
them  money. 

The  crew,  to  a  man,  would  have  done  any 
thing  for  me,  because — (it  was  very  foolish^ 
certainly)  —  I  used,  for  some  months  to  cry 


EATTLm^  THE  RBBFfiR.  23S 

heartily  when  aay  of  them  were  tied  apu  And 
afterwards,  when  I  got  rid  of  this  weakness^ 
I  always  begged  as  many  (rf  them  off  from 
the  infliction  of  the  lash  of  Mr.  Farmer,  the 
first  lieutenant,  as  I  ooald.  With  him  I  conM 
tflike  the  liberty  if  I  foond  him  in  a  good  hu«- 
moar,  though  I  dared  not  with  the  captain ; 
for,  though  the  latter  had  some  attachment 
Ibr  me,  it  was  a  dreadfully  wayward  and  ca* 
pricioQS  feeling. 

The  longer  I  sailed  with  him  the  more  occa^ 
•ion  I  had  to  dread,  if  not  hate  him.  The  poor 
man  had  no  resources ;  it  is  not,  therefore,  sur- 
prising, that  he  began  to  have  recourse  to  habi- 
tual ebriety.  Then,  under  the  influence  of  his 
wine,  he  would  be  gay,  mischieyous,  tyrannical, 
and  eyen  cruel,  according  to  the  mood  of  the 
monsent.  Yet,  at  the  worst,  though  his  feet 
feltered,  when  in  his  cups,  his  tongue  neyer 
did.  He  eyen  grew  eloquent  under  the  yinous 
influence.  It  sharpened  his  cunning,  and  won- 
d^nlly  increased  his  aptitude  for  mischief. 
It  was  a  grievous  calamity  to  all  on  board  thd 


iAiip»  that*  we  Qo«M  not  give  his  im^dimlifcfiil 
ooeupalioQ*  1  iaid  that  he  wm  fomiiotmet 
biit  I  hegaa  to  dread  his  affection,  and  to.fiNl 
myaelf  as  being  oompeUed  to  idbviit  to: the. 
playful  eareaseB  ef  a  iig^t^  .A».  yet,  not  onfyi 
had  we  not  had  the  elighteet  differeaoe,  bttlifi 
had  often  humoured  melo  the  detriment  of  ihe 
semcei  and  in  defiance  of  the  jaftA-diacipliat- 
Mr*  Farmer  wished  to  maintaifu  If  I  pra* 
Bun^  upon  this,  who  shall  blame  aiieh  eeie-* 
duct  in  a  mere  boy  ?  And  then.  Captain  Biied 
was  necessity  to  me.  I  found  that  I  could  notr 
avail  myself  of  my  too  ample  allowance  until 
he  had  endorsed  my  bills  of  exchange* 

However^  the  concealed  fiing  of  the  paw  that' 
fiad  so  often  played  with  and  patted  me  intv 
vanity,  was  to  wound  me  at  length.    It  caitte  > 
upon  me  terriUy,  and  entered  deeply  into  my 
bosom.  I  "  - 

I  was  learning  to  play  chess  of  the  purser  -^ 
the  game  had  already  become  a  passion  with 
me.  It  was  also  my  turn  to  dine  in  the  want* 
room,  and,  consequently,  I  was  invited.    The 


antidpftt^d  gttifi#  itt'  died^  ewAmuttA-  die'Viduif 
of » die!  iavltAtiotrv  Thttt  siuM  foreMMt^  thai 
cMiplaifi  and  I  hmd^  been  v&j  M>diM^.  '  Htti 
gvteiAtts,  «ad  I,  ftioelimr  as  I  eotiId«  I  hid' 
been  giving  hidt  a  hieitorf  of  ttky  Tariowa  oshet^r* 
and  ht  bad  ^been  pteluied  to  ba  ^v^oflderfiAIy'^ 
amaded.  >  I  was  down  in  tbe  midebii^teeii^s 
hartbt  a  fall  hoar  aft^r  I  had  racusiyed  iW 
waTd-it>otii  invitatioti,  the  oaptaiftli^  -  irtelwa^ 
*  shared  iris  nnlncky  head  within  the  door^  add' 
croaked  ^al,  **  Captain  Read's  compliments  to 
Ml".  Rattlidy  and  desires  his  eompaoy  to  dinn^ 
ta«<lay." 

I  answered,  carelessly,  rather  flippantly,  per- 
luqis,  ^  Tell  the  captain  Tm  going  to  dine  in 
tka>^  ward-room/'  I  meant  no  disrespect,  fin* 
I ^feU  none.  Perhaps  the  fellow  who  took' 
back  my  answer  worded  it  malicionsly.  I  had 
totally  forgotten,  as  soon  as  I  had  uttered  my 
ezcnial;  whether  I  had  or  had  not  ns^d 
th^'  word  ••^oihpHments/'  or  "  respects,^ —«• 
peAaps,'  th^ghtlessly,  neither  one  nor  the ' 


238      RATTLIN,  TBE  REEFER. 

I  dined  in  the  ward-room,  enjoyed  my  cheat, 
and,  good  easy  youth,  with  all  my  blushing 
honours  thick  upon  me,  of  having  giyen  mate 
with  only  trifling  odds  in  my  faTOur,  the  drom 
beat  to  evening  quarters.  I  was  stationed  to 
the  four  aftermost  carronnades  on  the  qaarter- 
deck.  I  had  run  up  in  a  hurry ;  and  at  that 
period,  straps  to  keep  down  the  trousers  not 
having  been  invented,  my  white  jeans  were 
riddled  a  good  deal  up  my  leg.  I  passed  the 
captain,  touched  my  hat,  and  began  to  muster 
my  men.  Unconscious  of  any  offence,  I  stole 
a  look  or  two  at  my  commander,  but  met  with 
no  good-humoured  glance  in  return.  He  had 
screwed  up  his  little  yellow  physiognomy 
into  the  shape  of  an  ill-conditioned  and  bat- 
tered face  on  a  brass  knocker.     He  had  his 

m 
§ 

usual  afternoon  wine-flush  upon  him  ;  but  a 
feeling  of  vindictiveness  had  placed  his  feel- 
ings of  incipient  intoxication  under  complete 
mastery. 

"  So,  you  dined  in  the  wanl-room,  Mr. 
Rattlin  V 


RATTLINj  THE  REEFER^       289 

.  "  Yes,  sir,"  my  hat  reverently  touched,  not 
liking  the  looks  of  my  interrogator. 

*^  And  you  did  not  even  condeseend  to  return 
the  compliments  I  sent  you,  with  my  misplaced 
invitation  to  dinner." 

"  Don't  recollect,  sir." 

"  Mr.  Rattlin,  in  consideration  of  your  igno- 
rance, I  can  forgive  a  personal  affront— damme 
—  but,  by  the  living  G— d,  I  cannot  overlook 
disrespect  to  the  service.  You  young  misbe- 
gotten scoundrel !  what  do  you  mean  by  coming 
to  quarters  undressed  ?    Look  at  your  trousers, 


^ir. 


*^  The  captain  is  in  a  passion,  certainly/' 
thought  I ;  as  I  quietly  stooped  to  pull  the 
offending  garment  down  to  my  shoes. 

"  Mr.  Farmer,  Mr.  Farmer,  do  you  see  the 
young  blackguard?"  said  the  commander. 
^'  Confound  me,  he  is  making  a  dressing-room 
of  my  quarter-deck  —  and  at  quarters,  too  — 
which  is  the  same  as  parade.  Hither,  sirrah  ; 
ho — ho — my  young  gentleman.  Young  gen- 
tleman, truly  —  a  conceited  little  bastard  !" 


240      RATTLDi^  TBS  BSSFBB* 

The  word  bomt  deeply  vapmfjoaag  himi$ 
and  caused  a  shoek  upon  mjr  brauL,  aa  if  an 
eiplosion  of  gunpowder  had  taken  jdaee  within 
my  ftkull;  but  it  pacned  inBtantaneotitly»  and 
left  behind  it  an  unnatural  calm. 

*'  Pray  sir/'  said  I,  walking  up  to  him,  de- 
liberately and  resohitely,  **  how  do  you  know 
that  I  am  a  bastard?" 

*'  Do  you  hear  thex  impudent  aooondrd? 
Pray,  sir,  who  is  your  &ther  ?" 

**  Oh !  that  I  knew,'*  said  I,  bursting  into 
tears.     *'  I  bless  Grod  that  it  is  not  you.** 

**  To  the  mast-head !  to  the  mast-head  I 
Where's  the  boatswain?  start  him  up!  start 
him  up!" 

The  boatswain  could  not  make  his  way  aft 
till  I  was  some  rattlings  up  the  main  rigging, 
and  thus,  his  intentional  and  kind  dilatoriness 
saved  me  from  the  indignity  of  a  blow.  Twice 
I  gazed  upon  the  clear  blue,  and  transparent 
water,  and  temptation  was  strong  upon  me,  for 
it  seemed  to  woo  me  to  rest ;  but  when  I  looked 
in-board   and    contemplated    the  diminutive, 


intnxiif,  iniB  itMnitf         zff^ 


^  ItelRref  baB  got  to  the  tnaiti-top,  I  tfrotf^; 
^fhitf  iii6tiAti^''hhi  1ove9  ine !  -^'poop  htmiff 
nature ! "— and  Wben^I  Imd  got  to  the  topiAfiSt* 
crdfi94fees/t  tfad  kcttiilly  foi^ven  him.  ft  has 
b^  "mf  fefihi^'iAiroagH  fife,  as  Bhakspeat^ 
expresses  it,  "  to  have  always  lackecl  gait."* 
God  knowS  hotr  lin'nch  I  have  forgiven,  merely 
because  I  have  found  it  impossible  to  hate. 

But 4  Was  to  be  tried  still  more.  I  had  settled 
myself  comfortably  on  the  cross-trees,  making 
exetises  Jbr  the  captain,  and  condemning  my  own 
want  of  Caution,  and  anticipating  a  recon- 
ciliatory  breakfast  with  my  persecutor,  when 
hl^'sbrill  voice  came  discordantly  upon  my  ears. 

^Mast-head,  there!" 

*«  Sir.*" 

'^'  tip  higher,  sir — up  higher." 

'I  hesitated  —  the  order  was  repeated  with 
horrid  threats  and  imprecations.  There  were 
no  ratttings  to  the  top-gallant  rigging.  It  had 
been  tremendously  hot  all  day,  and  the  tar  had 

VOL.  II.  M 


242       RATTLINj  THE  RESFEB. 

sweated  from  the  shrouds;  and  I  was  Ytfij  loath 
to  spoil  my  beautiful  white  jean  trousers  by 
swarming  up  them.  Howeyer,  as  I  pereeiTed 
that  he  had  worked  himself  into  a  perfect  fury 
up  I  went,  and  to  the  top-gallant-mast^head, 
embracing  the  royal  pole  with  one  arm,  and 
standing  on  the  bights  of  the  rigging.  My 
nether  apparel^  in  performing  this  feat,  appeared 
as  if  it  had  been  employed  in  wiping  up  a 
bucket  of  spilled  tar. 

But  I  was  not  long  to  remain  unmolested  in 
my  stance  on  the  high  and  giddy  mast.  My 
astonishment  and  dismay  were  unbounded  at 
hearing  Captain  Reud  still  yociferate,  **  Up 
higher,  sir." 

The  royal  pole  stood  naked,  with  nothing 
attached  to  it  but  the  royal  and  the  signal-hal- 
yards, the  latter  running  through  the  truck. 
My  lady  readers  must  understand  that  the 
truck  is  that  round  thing  at  the  top  of  all  the 
masts,  that  looks  so  like  a  button.  I  could  not 
have  got  up  the  well-greased  pole  if  I  had 
attempted  it.    A  practised  seaman  could,  car- 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.      848 

taiply,  and,  indeeely  one  of  those  worthies  who 
climb  for  legs  of  mutton  at  a  fair,  might  have 
succeeded  to  moant  a  few  inches. 

"What!"  said  I,  half  aloud,  "does  the 
tyrant  mean  ?  He  knows  that  this  thing  I  can- 
not do :  and  he  also  knows  that  if  I  attempt  it, 
it  is  probable  I  shall  lose  my  hold  of  this  slip- 
pery stick,  and  be  rolled  o£P  into  the  sea*  If  he 
wishes  to  murder  me^  he  shall  do  so  more 
directly.  Forgive  him — never.  Til  brave 
him  first,  and  revenge  myself  after." 

Again  that  deadly  calm  came  over  me,  which 
makes  soft;  dispositions  so  desperate,  and  to 
which  light-haired  persons  are  so  peculiarly 
subject.  In  these  temperaments,  when  the 
paleness  becomes  fixed  and  unnatural,  beware 
of  them  in  their  moods.  They  concentrate  the 
yindictiveness  of  a  life  in  a  few  moments,  and, 
though  the  paroxysm  is  usually  short,  it  is  too 
often  fatal  to  themselves  and  to  their  victims. 
I  coolly  commenced  descending  the  rigging, 
whilst  the  blackest  thoughts  crowded  in  distinct 
and  blood-stained  array  upon  my  brain.     I 

m2 


244       RATTLIN^  THE  REEFER. 

bethought  me  from  whence  I  could  the  most 
readily  plock  a  weapon,  but  the  idea  was  but 
instantaneous,  and  I  dismissed  it  with  a 
mighty  effort.  At  length,  I  reached  the  deck, 
whilst  the  infuriated  captain  stood  mute  with 
surprise  at  my  outrageously  insubordinate  con- 
duct. Tlie  men  were  still  at  their  quarters  and 
partook  of  their  commander's  astonishment; 
but,  I  am  convinced,  of  no  other  feeling. 

When  I  found  myself  on  the  deck  I  walked 
up  to  Captain  Reud,  and  between  my  clenched 
teeth  I  said  to  him  slowly  and  deliberately, 
**  Tyrant,  I  scorn  you.  I  come  premeditately 
to  commit  an  act  of  mutiny :  I  give  myself  up 
as  a  prisoner :  I  desire  to  be  tried  by  a  court- 
martial.  I  will  undergo  any  thing  to  escape 
from  you ;  and  I  don't  think  that,  with  all  your 
malice,  you  will  be  able  to  hang  me.  I  consider 
myself  under  an  arrest."  Then  turning  upon 
ray  heel  I  prepared  to  go  down  the  quarter- 
deck hatchway. 

Captain  Reud  heard  me  to  the  end  in  silence ; 
he  even  permitted  me  to  go  down  half  tlie 


RATTUNj  THE  AEBFBa.  124^ 

ladder  unmolested,  when,  roasing  himself  from 
his  utter  astonidhment,  he  jumped  forward  and 
fipuming  me  with  his  foot  violently  on  my  back, 
dashed  me  on  the  main  deck,  I  was  consi- 
derably bruised,  and,  before  I  got  to  the  mid- 
shipman's berth,  two  marines  seized  me  and 
draped  me  again  to  the  quarter-deck.  Once 
more  I  stood  before  my  angry  persecutor,  look- 
ing hate  and  defiance. 
'.  '^  To  the  mast-head,  sir,  immediately .'' 
<    *'  I  will  not.     I  consider  myself  a  prisoner.'* 

**  You  refuse  to  go?" 

"  I  do." 

*'  Quarter-masters,  the  signal  halyards. 
Sling  Mr.  Rattlin/'  Mr.  Rattlin  was  slung. 
*^  Now  run  the  mutinous  rascal  up  to  the 
truck." 

In  a  moment  I  was  attached  to  a  thin  white 
line,  waving  to  and  fro  in  mid  air,  and  soon 
triced  up  to  the  very  top  of  the  royal  pole,  and 
jammed  hard  to  the  truck.  Is  this  believed  ? 
Perhaps  not ;  yet  no  statement  was  ever  more 
true*      At  the  time  when   this  atrocity  was* 


249  ftATTLIlfj  THE  EEBFBB^ 

perpetradog  not  an  officer  mteribred.  My  wat 
ferings  were  intense.  The  sun  ms  still  hot,  ay 
hat  had  fallen  off  in  my  mvoluntary  aaceat,  and. 
as  the  ship  was  ranning  before  the  wind  under 
her  topsails,  the  motion  at  that  high  poiiit  of 
elevation  was  tremendous.  I  felt  horribly  sea* 
sick.  The  ligature  across  my  chest  beoasM 
every  moment  more  oppressiye  to  my  lungs, 
and  more  excruciating  in  torture :  my  breath* 
ing  at  each  respiration  more  difficult,  and,  before 
I  had  suffered  ten  minutes,  I  had  fainted.  So 
soon  as  the  captain  had  seen  me  run  up  he  went 
below,  leaving  strict  orders  that  I  should  not  be 
lowered  down. 

Directly  that  the  captain  was  in  his  oabiSi 
the  first-lieutenant,  the  doctor,  purser,  and  the 
officers  of  the  watch,  held  a  hurried  cousulta- 
tion  on  my  situation.  But  the  good-natured 
doctor  did  not  stop  for  the  result,  but  imme- 
diately went  below,  and  told  Reud  if  I  remained 
where  I  was  I  should  die.  Those  who  knew 
the  navy  at  that  time  will  anticipate  the  answer 
'  <^no  others  can — ''  Let  him  die  and  be  damned  !*' 


RATTLUr,  THE  REBFBRk  8^7 

The  good  doctor  came  on  deck  deepoiidu^* 
Mr.  Farmer  then  hailed  me  once,  and  again, 
and  again.  Of  course  he  received  no  answer  &  I 
heard  him,  but|  at  that  moment^  my  senses  were 
fiEist  leaving  me.  The  sea,  with  its  vast  horiaon, 
appearing  so  illimitable  from  the  great  height 
where  I  was  swaying,  rocked,  to  my  foiling 
sight,  awfully  to  and  fro  :  the  heavens  partook 
of  the  dizzying  motion.  I  only,  of  all  the 
creation,  seemed  standing  still :  I  was  sick  unto 
death ;  and  as  far  as  sensation  was  concerned, 
then  and  there  I  died. 

Upon  receiving  no  reply,  Mr.  Farmer  sent 
one  of  the  top-men  up  to  look  at  me.  No 
sooner  had  he  reached  the  topgallant  rigging 
than  he  reported  me  dead.  A  cry  of  horror 
escaped  from  all  on  deck.  The  captain  rushed 
up  :  he  needed  no  report.  He  was  frantic  with 
grief.  He  wept  like  a  child,  and  assisted  with 
his  own  hands  to  lower  me  down :  they  were 
his  arms  that  received,  himself  that  bore  me 
to  his  cabin.  Like  a  wilful  boy  who  had  slain 
his  pet  lamb,  or  a  passionate  girl  her  dove,  h^ 


248  RATTLll^  TW  9XfFBSU 

qiourned  over  me,  It'irai  ^  long  tixae  bebri 
my  respiratory  organs  could  be  brooglU  into 
play.  My  recovery  was  s][ow,  and  i%  ifM  fioma 
time  before  I  could  arrange  my  ideas.  .  A  oot 
was  slang  for  me  in  the  cabin,  and,  bewildered 
and.  exhausted,  I  fell  into  a  deep  sleep, 

J  awoke  a  little  after  midnight  perfi»tly 
composed,  and  su£Pering  only  from  the  wale 
that  the  cord  had  made  across  my  chest.  Be- 
fore a  table,  and  his  countenance  lighted  by  a 
single  lantern,  sate  the  captain.  His  features 
expressed  a  depth  of  grief  and  a  remorse  that 
were  genuine.  He  sate  motionless,  with  his 
eyes  fixed  upon  my  cot :  my  face  he  could 
not  see,  owing  to  the  depth  of  the  shadow  in 
which  I  lay.  I  moved :  he  advanced  to  my 
cot  with  the  gentleness  of  a  woman,  and  softly 
uttered  : 

"  Ralph,  my  dear  boy,  do  you  sleep?" 
The  tones  of  his  voice  fell  soothingly  upon 
my  ear  like  the  music  of  a  mothers  prayer. 
*'  No,  Captain  Reud ;  but  I  am  very  thirsty." 
In  an  instant  he  was  at  my  side  with  soooa 


RAtTLm^  YRfi  REEFEE*  240 

weak  wme  aiid>Arater.  I  took  it  from  the  hand 
of  him  whom,  but  a  few  hours  before,  in  my 
animodity  I  could  have  slain. 

^*  Ralph,**  said  he,  as  he  received  back  the 
tumbler,  "  Ralph,  are  we  friends  ?•• 

'*  Oh !  Captain  Read,  how  conld  yon  treat 
a  poor  lad  thns,  who  respected,  who  loved  you 
so  much?' 

"  I  was  mad — do  you  forgive  me,  Ralph?** 
and  he  took  my  not  unwilling  hand. 

**To  be  sure,  to  be  sure;  but  do  me  one 
little  fiivonr  in  return." 

*^  Any  thing,  any  thing,  Ralph — I'll  never 
mast-head  you  again." 

"Oh,  I  was  not  thinking  of  that;  I  ought 
not  to  have  put  you  in  a  passion.  Punish  me 
—mast-head  me — do  any  thing,  Captain  Reud, 
but  call  me  not  bastard." 

He  made  no  reply :  he  pressed  my  hand 
fervently;  he  put  it  to  his  lips  and  kissed  it-— 
on  my  soul  he  did  :  then,  after  a  pause,  gently 
murmured  '*  Grood  night ;"  and,  as  he  passed 
int^  the  after-cabin  to  his  bed,   I  distinctly 

M  5 


350      EATTUN,  THE  EEEFEE; 


heard  him  exdaim,  *'  God  forgife  ane^r-hov  I 
have  wronged  that  boy  !'* 

The  next  day  we  were  better  firieaidb  IImq 
ever  ;  and  for  the  three  yeare  that  we  remained 
together,  not  a  reproachful  word  or  an  angty 
look  eier  paaeed  between  us. 

I  must  be  permitted  to  make  three  obeervar 
tions  upon  this,  to  me,  memorable  traniaction. 
The  first  is,  that  at  that  time  I  had  not  the 
power  of  retention  of  those  natural  feelings 
of  anger,  which  all  should  carry  with  them 
as  a  preservation  against,  or  a  punishment  for, 
injury  and  insult.  I  know  that  most  of  my 
male,  and  many  of  my  female  readers,  will 
think  my  conduct  throughout  pusillaDimoos 
or  abject.  My  mother's  milk,  as  it  were, 
still  flowed  in  my  veins,  and  with  that  no 
ill  blood  could  amalgamate.  All  I  can  say  is, 
that  now  I  am  either  so  mudi  better  or  so 
much  worse,  that  I  should  have  adopted  to- 
wards Captain  Reud  a  much  more  decided 
coarse  of  proce^ings. 

My  second  remark  is,  that  this  captain  had 


XATTLIN,  TH£  REEFER.  201 

reatlly  a  good  heart,  bat  was  one  ofthe  most 
striking  instances  that  I  ever  knew-  of  the  de- 
moralizing effect  of  a  misdirected  educaiiony 
and  the  danger  of  granting  great  powers  to 
early  years  and  great  ignorance.  With  good 
innate  feelings,  no  man  cTcr  possessed  moral 
perceptions  more  clouded. 

And  lastly,  that  this  statement  is  not  to  be 
construed  into  a  libel  on  the  naval  service,  or 
looked  upon,  in  the  least,  as  an  exaggerated 
account.  As  to  libel,  the  gentlemanly  deport- 
ment, the  parental  care  of  their  crews,  and  the 
strict  justice  of  thousands  of  captains,  cannot 
in  the  least  be  deteriorated  by  a  single  act  of 
tyranny  by  a  solitary  member  of  their  gallant 
body ;  and,  as  to  exaggeration,  let  it  be  re- 
membered that,  in  the  very  same  year,  and 

• 

on  the  very  same  station  that  my  tricing  up  to 
the  truck  occurred,  another  post-captain  tarred 
and  feathered  one  of  his  young  gentlemen,  and 
kept  him  in  that  state,  a  plumed  biped,  for 
more  than  six  weeks  in  hi9r  hen-coop.  This 
last  fact  obtained   much   notoriety,  from  the 


252 


EATTLIN,  THE  REEFEK. 


aggrieved  party  leaWng  the  service,  and  re- 
covering heavy  damages  from  his  torturer  in 
a  court  of  civil  law.  My  treatment  i 
known  beyond  our  own  frigate. 


? 


.  -V 


BATTLIN^  THE  RSETOR* 


'         4  ■      ■ 


r» 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

Ralph  enteretb  into  the  regions  of  romance  and  privateer- 
ing— Carried  thither  by  a  French  pilot,  malgre  lui — An 
.   inopportune  visit. 


Shortly  after  the  illegal  suspension  of  the 
Habeas  Corpus  that  I  recorded  in  the  last 
chapter,  the  portion  of  the  navy  stationed  in 
the  West  Indies  became  actively  employed  in 
the  conquest  of  those  islands  still  in  the  pos- 
session of  the  French.  Some  fell  almost  without 
a  struggle,  others  at  much  expense  of  life,  both 
of  the  military  and  naval  forces.  As  every 
one,  who  could  find  a  publisher,  has  written 
a  book  on  all  these  events,  from  the  capture  of 


254  RATTLIN,  THE  RBEFBK. 

ihe  little  spot  Deeeada,  to  the  subdaing  the 
mBgnificent  island  of  Gaudaioupe,  and  the 
glorious  old  stone-built  city  of  DomingOi  I  may 
well  be  excused  detailing  the  operations. 

Among  other  bellicose  incidents  that  varied 
the  dull  monotony  of  my  life,  was  the  beating 
off  a  frigate  equal  in  force  to  our  own  ;  though 
I  believe  that  we  were  a  little  obliged  to  her 
for  taking  leave  of  us  in  a  manner  so  abrupt, 
though  we  could  not  certainly  complain  of  the 
want,  on  her  part,  of  any  attention  for  the  short  ^ 
and  busy  hour  that  she  stayed  with  us,  for  she 
assisted  us  to  shift  all  our  topmasts,  and  as, 
before  she  met  us,  we  had  nothing  but  old  sails 
to  display,  she  considerately  decorated  us  with 
a  profusion  of  ribands  gaily  fluttering  about  our 
lower  masts  and  the  topmasts  that  were  still 
standing  gracefully  hanging  over  our  sides. 

We  were  too  polite  and  well  bred  not  to 
make  some  return  for  all  these  petits  soms. 
As,  between  the  tropics,  the  weather  is  generally 
very  warm,  we  evinced  a  most  laudable  anxiety 
that  she  should  be  properly  ventilated,  so  we 


RATTLIN^  THE  REEFER.       955 

usiduoody  began  drilling  boles  tbrougb  and 
through  her  hull ;  and,  I  assure  the  reader, 
that  we  did  it  in  a  surpasaingly  workmanlike 
manner.  But,  in  the  midst  of  this  spirited  ex^* 
ehange  of  coortesies,  our  Qallio  fnend  remem* 
bered  that  he  had,  or  might  have,  another  est* 
ffcyement,  so  he  took  his  leave ;  and,  as  he  had 
given  us  so  many  reasons  to  prevent  our  in- 
sisting to  attend  upon  him,  we  parted,  enpleine 
mevy  leaving  ns  excessively  annoyed  that  we 
were  prevented  from  accompanying  him  any 
fturther. 

In  Captain  Reud's  despatches  he  stated,  and 
stated  truly,  that  we  beat  him  off.  Why  he 
.  went,  I  could  not  understand;  for,  excepting 
in  the  shattered  state  of  his  hull,  and  more 
particularly  in  a  sad  confusion  of  his  quarter 
gallery,  with  his  two  aftermost  main-deck  ports, 
he  sailed  off  with  his  colours  flying,  and  every 
sail  drawing,  even  to  his  royals.  But  the 
French  used  to  have  their  own  method  of  ma- 
naging these  little  matters. 

But  let  us  rapidly  pass  over  these  follies. 


250  RATTLm>  TAB  RiSEPEIaU 

end  hasten  to'  something  more  exquintely 
foolish.  And  yet  I  cannot.  I  have  to  clear 
away  many  dull  weeds,  and  tread  down  many 
noxious  nettles,  before  I  can  reach  die  one 
fresh  and  thomless  rose,  that  bloomed  tar  a 
short  space  upon  my  heart,  and  the  fragrance 
0^  which  so  intoxicated  my  senses,  that,  for  a 
time,  I  was  under  the  blessed  deluupn  of  be- 
lieving myself  happy. 

I  had  now  been  two  years  and  a  half  in  the 
West  Indies,  and  I  was  fast  approaching  my 
nineteenth  year.  At  this  period,  we  had  taken 
several  English  West  Indiamen.  There  was 
a  fearful,  a  soul-harrowing,  yet  a  tender  tale, 
connected  with  one  of  these  recaptures.  It 
should  be  told,  for  the  honour  of  that  sex, 
whom  to  honour  is  man's  greatest  glory ;  but 
not  now  —  nor  in  this  life.  Yet  it  ought  to  be 
narrated ;  and  I  here  record  my  vow,  that  if 
I  live,  and  I  have  the  heart  to  go  through  it, 

and  my  dear will  resolve  me  that  one 

incubus  of  a  doubt  that  has  hung  heavily  on 
my  heart  for  these  five-and-twenty  years,  that 


that  tale  shall  be^  told^  that  ipan  majr.fulinirei^ 
and  wonder,  and  we^p,  ;.  .^;* 

'    In  one  of  tbeae  retaken  merchant  yessje]^^.. 
there  was  found  9  aa  tJ^e  French  prize-mapt^^^ 
and  now  of  course:  our  prisoneri  a  mercuiis^; 
little  fellow  of  the  name  of  Messurier.   .He 
was  very  proud  of  the  glory  of  his  nation^,  a.p4 .. 
still  prouder  of  his  own.     As  France  possess^,, 
many  historians,  and  Monsieur  Adolphe  Sigis* 
mund  Messurier  but  one,  and  that  one  hiqi- 
self,  of  course,  he  had  the  duty  of,  at  least, 
three  hundred   savans  thrown  upon  his  own 
shoulders  :  he  performed  it  nobly,  and  with  an 
infinite  relish.     Now,  when  a  person  who  is 
given  to  much  talking  is  also  given  to  much 
drinking,  it  generally  happens,  injurious  as  is 
the  vice  of  the  grog  bottle,  that  the  vice  of 
the  voluble  tongue  is  still  worse.      When  in 
his  cups,  he  told  us  of  the  scores  that  he  had 
slain,  counting  them  ofi*  by  threes  and  fives 
upon  his  fingers,' his  thumbs  indicating  captains, 
his  forefingers  first-lieutenants,  and  so  on  with 
the  various  grades  in  our  service,  until  th§ 


953      BAJTLIN^  THE  B££FER. 

a^irantSf  or  middieSi  were  merely  honoured  by 
his  little  finger  as  their  representative,  we  only 
laughed;  and  asked  him,  if  he  had  been  so 
destructive  to  the  officers,  how  xnany  men  had 
fallen  by  the  puissance  of  his  arm.  It  seemed 
that  these  latter  were  too  numerous  and  too 
ignoble  to  be  counted ;  for  that  question  was 
always  answered  with  a  bak!  and  a  rapidly 
passing  over  the  extended  palm  of  his  left 
hand  with  his  open  right  one. 

But  when,  one  evening,  he  mentioned  that 
he  could  pilot  a  frigate  into  the  inland  waters 
from  whence  swarmed  the  crowd  of  schooner- 
privateers  that  infested  the  islands,  and  by  their 
swift  sailing  to  windward,  eluded  our  fastest 
ship,  we  laughed  still,  and  I  did  something 
more ;  I  reported  this  boast  to  Captain  Reud, 

*^  Then,"  exclaimed  my  valorous  little  creoIe, 
*^  by  all  the  virtues  of  a  long  eighteen,  he  shall 
take  in  his  Majesty's  frigate,  Eos." 

Whenever  he  protested  by  a  long  eighteen, 
in  the  efficacy  of  whose  powers  he  had  the  most 
implicit  reliance,  we  might  look  upon  the  mat« 
ter  as  performed. 


nATttn,  THE  REEFBlt.  25d 

The  next  xhorniiig,  wbilst  Monsieur  Messa- 
ijer  was  solacing  his  aching  head  with  his 
hands,  oblivioas  of  the  events  of  the  preceding 
evening,  he  was  feelingly  reminded  of  his  con» 
summate  skill  in  pilotage.  He  then  became 
most  nnnatorally  modest,  and  denied  all  pre- 
tensions  to  the  honour.  Now  Captain  Read 
had  no  idea  that  even  an  enemy  should  wrap 
up  his  talent  in  a  napkin,  so  he  merely  «aid  to 
him,  **  You  must  take  my  ship  in."  When 
the  captain  had  made  up  his  mind,  the  deed 
generally  trod  upon  the  heels  of  the  resolve. 
Poor  man !  he  was  always  in  want  of  something 
to  do,  and  thus  he  was  too  happy  to  do  any 
thing  that  offered  excitement.  Monsieur  Mes- 
iurier  was  in  despair;  he  prayed  and  swore 
alternately;  talked  about  sacrificing  his  life  ibr 
the  good  of  his  country ;  and  told  us,  in  a 
manner  that  convinced  us  that  he  wished  us  to 
believe  the  absurdity,  that  honour  was  the 
breath  of  his  nostrils.  However,  the  captain 
was  fully  intent  upon  giving  him  the  glorious 
opportunity  of  exclaiming  with  effectj  Dulce  et 
decorum  est  pro  patria  mori. 


280       RATTLIN,  THE  REBFER. 

.  Not  knowing  the  strength  of  the  Btronghold 
that  it  was  our  intention  to  surprise.  Captain 
Reud  cruised  about  for  a  few  days,  until  he 
had  collected  another  frigate,  a  sloop  of  war, 
and  two  eighteen  gun-brigs,  the  commanders 
of  all  being,  of  course,  his  juniors.  Having 
made  all  necessary  arrangements,  one' beauti- 
ful morning  we  found  ourselves  close  off  the 
iron-bound  and  rocky  shores  of  the  east  end 
of  St.  Domingo.  We  ran  along  shore  for  a 
couple  of  hours,  when  we  perceived  an  open- 
ing in  the  lofty  piles  of  granite,  that  frowned 
over  the  blue  ocean.  This  was  the  entrance 
into  the  harbour  where  lay  our  destined 
prizes. 

Captain  Reud,  taking  the  reponsibility  into 
his  own  hands,  had  determined  to  lead  in. 
The  charts  were  minutely  examined,  but  they 
gave  us  no  hope.  The  soundings  laid  down 
were  so  shallow,  and  the  path  so  intricate,  that, 
by  them,  we  wondered  much,  how  even  a  pri- 
vateer-schooner' could  make  the  passage  in 
safety.    To  a  frigate  drawing  three-and-twenty 


&ATTLIN>  THE  KEBFER.  2ffil 

feet  of  water,  the  attempt  seemed  only  a  pre- 
cursor to  destruction. 

We  bove-to ;  ^e  captains  of  the  other  vessels 
were  signalled  on  board,  and,  with  them  and 
our  first-lieutenant  and  master,  a  sort  of  cou&vi 
cil  of  war  was  held ;  and,  as  every  one  present 
gave  his  voice  against  the  attempt,  our  skipper's 
mind  was  made  up  directly.  He  resolved  to 
go  in,  trusting  to  the  chapter  of  accidents^  to  a 
gracious  Providence,  and  Monsieur  Messorier 
upon  the  fore-yard,  with  a  seaman  with  a  pistol 
at  each  ear,  to  scatter  his  brains  the  moment  the 
ship  struck.  The  weather  was  brilliant,  the 
wind  moderate  and  fair,  when  we  bore  up  for 
the  mouth  of  the  passage.  It  was  something 
at  once  ludicrous  and  painful  to  witness  the 
agony  of  our  pilot  in  spite  of  himself.  Between 
oaths,  protestations,  and  tremors,  the  perspira- 
tion of  terror  flowing  down  his  &ce,  mingled 
with  his  tears,  he  conned  the  ship  with  a  pre^ 
cision  that  proved,  at  least  in  that  matter,  that 
he  was  no  vain  boaster. 

But  we  had  scarcely  advanced  a  few  hundred 


262      aATTLIN^  THE  EEEFER. 

yards  within  the  gorge,  than  I  had  eyes  only 
for  the  sublimity  of  the  scenexy  that  opened 
itself  in  succession  as  we  passed.  The  water 
was  as  smooth  as  the  cheek,  as  bright  as  the 
smile,  and  as  blue  as  the  eye  of  our  first  love. 
Indeed,  it  was  ''  deeply^  beautifully  blue,"  as 
Lord  Byron  saith — to  that  deeply  we  owed 
every  thing.  The  chaonel  was  so  narrow,  that, 
in  many  places,  there  was  not  sufficient  room 
to  tack  the  ship,  even  if  she  could  have  turned 
within  her  own  length,  and,  in  two  remarkable 
points,  we  had  not  sufficient  width  to  hare 
carried  our  studding-sails.  At  one  singularly 
romantic  spot  of  this  pass,  the  rocks  far  above 
our  mast-heads  leant  over  towards  each  other, 
and  the  ancient  forest  trees  that  crowned  the 
heights,  mingled  their  feathery  branches,  and 
permitted  us  to  get  a  sight  of  the  vaulted  blue 
above  us  only  at  intervals,  between  the  inter- 
stices of  the  dark-green  foliage. 

The  seamen  regarded  their  situation  with 
wonder,  not  unmixed  with  awe.  But  the  view 
was  not  the  unvaried  one  of  two  gigantic  walls 


RAITLIN,  THE  REEFER.  268 

festooned  with  flowers  and  crowned  with  trees. 
At  intenrals,  we  found  the  channel  open  into 
wide  lagones,  with  shelving  and  verdant  shores, 
studded  with  white  stone  huHdings,  and  well- 
cultivated  plantations,  and  then  the  passage 
would  narrow  again  suddenly,  and  the  masses 
of  rock  rose  so  high  on  each  side  of  us,  as 
almost  to  exclude  the  light  of  the  day.  The 
way  was  tortuous,  but  not  abruptly  so;  and, 
as  we  wound  through  it,  ever  and  anon  we  came 
to  some  picturesque  inlet^  some  Cool  grotto,  so 
beautiful  that  its  very  beauty  must  have  peo« 
pled  it  with  nymphs,  for  none  could  look  upon 
them^  without  feeling,  for  a  time,  like  poets. 
At  the  entrance,  the  heaving  water  rose  and 
fell  with  a  heavy  moaning  against  the  eternal 
bases  of  the  rocks,  though  the  surface  in  mid 
channel  was  perfectly  smooth ;  but,  as  we  ad- 
vanced, this  dull  undulation  gradually  subsided, 
and  its  measured  splash  no  longer  echoed 
among  the  cliffs.  The  silence,  as  we  pro- 
ceeded, grew  strange  to  us.  An  awe  crept  over 
us,  like  that  which  is  felt  upon  the  first  entrance 


204      RATTLm^  THE  REBFBlt 

iBto  a  vwnt  cathedral  s  and  th^  gentle  wind  ctime 
to  U8  noiselessly^  and,  dying  away  at  interfab, 
left  the  ship  silently  stealing  on,  impelled  ht  a 
space,  by  no  visible  means. 

The  hush  throughout  the  ship  was  tonib-like, 
and  the  few  words  of  command,  that  from  time 
to  time,  broke  npon  the  ear,  sounded  hollow  and 
unearthly  from  the  reverberations  of  the  over- 
hanging precipices. 

But  quickly  the  scene  would  change;  the 
jutting  promontories  and  overtopping  walls 
would  recede,  and  a  fairy  spot  encircled  by 
forest-land  would  open  upon  us,  studded  with 
green  islands,  glorious  in  all  the  beauties  of  an 
eternal  spring,  and  crowded  and  crowned  with 
flowers  of  every  hue,  and  of  a  brilliancy  the 
most  intense.  We  proceeded  in  this  delightful 
manner  for  more  than  twelve  miles,  yet  no  one 
had  appeared,  in  the  least,  to  notice  our  approach. 
Had  the  most  trivial  attempt  at  defence  been 
made,  we  could  not  have  proceeded  a  quarter 
of  the  distance ;  for  I  verily  believe  that  we 
passed  by  points  so  over  hanging,  that  a  couple 


of  poandB  of  gunpowder,  propwlgr  iifiiilM  mmi 
fired  at  the  right  momeBt,  would  baifm  twnUed 
fragments  of  solid  rpck  upon  to,  that  would 
hare  crushed  us  to  the  bottom  in  an  instanti  to 
mention  nothing  of  the  several  protruding  cor- 
ners of  this  singular  pass,  on  which  two. or  three 
guns  could  have  raked  an  approaching  vessel 
for  half  an  hour  with  impunity :  as  I  have 
before  stated  that  it  would  be  impossible  in 
those  straitened  passages  to  have  turned  a 
broadside  to  bear  on  any  impediment.  On  we 
came,  and  at  last  a  noble  bay,  or  rather  salt- 
water lake  opened  upon  us,  with  two  wide 
rivers  delivering  their  waters  into  the  bottom 
of  it.  On  our  right  lay  the  town  of  Aniana, 
with  a  fort  upon  a  green  mount  overlooking  the 
houses,  and  rising  much  higher  than  our  float- 
ing pennant. 

Our  unexpected  entree,  like  all  other  mis- 
timed visits,  caused  the  visited  a  terrible  degree 
of  confusion.  Twelve  or  thirteen  beautiful 
schooners  had  their  sweeps  out,  and  all  their 
sails  set  immediately.      We  having  anchored 

VOL.  II.  N 


280 


EATTLIN,  THE  ItBCFEKl 


opposite  the  town  about  noon,  the  breeze  fell 
away  into  almost  a  perfect  calm,  and  off  they 
went,  making  the  best  of  their  way  up  the 
rivers.  There  were  several  other  craft  lying  off 
the  town,  into  which  the  inhabitants  were 
crowding,  with  all  their  effects  of  any  value, 
no  doubt  intending  to  go  a  little  way  up  into 
the  country  also,  to  avoid  the  inconvenience  of 
inopportune  calls.  The  signal  was  made  for 
our  little  squadron  to  get  out  their  boats,  chase 
and  capture. 


I  • 


■  ';.»: 


JULTnat,  THE  BSBFEK* 


26t 


Uf 


■i    '        >'i.: 


i  '  . 


;.        /■    /. 


-    .1 


U 


:  I 


ill:     1^    ■    "/  f  /'   '•'  ^  \ 


■ .  '    .   • , 


,  ■  ■'■.'/■:■■ 


'.*i  • 


•  I  : 


■'     .  f 


f      • 


4  ■ 


f.  .   »      .   • 


/;t>» 


"■if^^l      '  : 


/T'   '.I  ; 


r.  .>:'!.    '.|       ^;) 


CHAPTER  XX. 

'  Treats  of  kind  intentions  frustrated — A  visiting  party  pre- 
vented by  one  ball  too  many  having  been  given — And 
ready-noade  domestic  happiness  for  strangers. 


We  first  of  all  brought  out  the  heavily  laden 
craft  that  were  still  near  the  town,  and  anchor- 
ed them  under  our  guns.  To  the  privateers 
that  shewed  their  heels,  the  larger  boats  gave 
chase,  and  coming  up  with  them,  one  after 
another,  they  were  finally  all  captured.  Had 
they  but  acted  in  combination,  I  think  they 
might  have  resisted  the  boats  with  success; 

v2 


368  RArruK^  the  RSEnw 

but  their  commanders  seemed  to  have  ket  all 
presence  of  mindy  in  the  oonfiision  and  astonisb- 
ment  into  which  our  sudden  appesrance  bad 
thrown  them* 

Now,  all  this  was  very  pleasant  to  ns,  Jfe»- 
sieurs  ks  concemis.  We  calculated  upon 
having  the  whole  wealth  of  the  French  town^ 
and  the  little  French  fleet,  conyerted  into  hiwAil 
prize-money.  The  deeply  laden  poop-^ncumr- 
bered  brigs  and  schooners,  so  ungraceAiUy 
down  by  the  stem,  we  imagined  to  be  full  of 
treasure.  Visions  of  gold  jittered  before  our  ^ 
mind's  eye.  We  were  about  to  recover  the 
plunder  of  ages,  for  it  must  be  confessed,  that 
this  same  Aniana  was  no  better  than  a  haven 
for  pirates.  One  of  us  was  cinielly  undeoeived 
in  one  respect.  As  yet,  we  had  met  with  no 
manner  of  resistance  whatever  —  it  was  ten 
o'clock  in  the  evening,  the  full  moon  giving  us 
a  very  excellent  imitation  of  daylightt  when, 
all  the  commanders  who  had  dined  with  our 
yellow  skipper  came  on  deck,  in  the  highest 
possible  glee,  delightedly  rubbing  their  hand^ 


R ATTUK,  THE  REBPfift.  909 

mod  oalealating  each  bis  riiare  of  the  pri^e* 
monffy.  AU  thk  hihurity  was  increeaedi  evepj! 
now  and  then,  by  eonie  boats  ocHnuig  on  boards 
and  reporting  to  us,  as  commodore,  another 
privateer  or  some  fugitive  merchantmen  taken, 
and  then  immediately  shoving  off  in  ehaea  of 
others. 

^<  Well,  gentlemen,**  said  our  skipper,  <<  VU 
tell  you  what  well  do.  We'll  send  the  marines 
on  shore  to-morrow,  and  take  possession  of  the 
town*  However,  we  will  be  very  civil  to  the 
ladies ; — ^we  will,  by  Venus !  As  commanding 
oflBcer,  Til  permit  of  no  rudeness." 

*'  None  whatever :  who  could  think  of  fright- 
ening them?    I  suppose,  Captain  Reud,  there' 
could  be  no  harm  in  going  ashore  now  and  pay- 
ing them  a  visit,  just  to  alleviate  their  fears," 
was  the  reply  of  one  of  the  commanders. 

**  Not  to-night,  not  to-night.  Depend  upon 
it,  all  the  best  of  the  beauty,  and  the  best  of  the 
wealth  is  safely  stowed  in  this  numerous  fleet, 
quietly  anchored  about  us:  we  have  them  all 
safe.    There  might  be  some  villains  lurking 


&H)  VLATtliOlftBR  dRBEVBlL 


about  the  ton^n-w^  tlmf  caiMkiiittB^iilfaeir 
btits :  let'  118  have  «I1'  cMr^  aiUi^yUgkl  k^hfe 
vtn.'  Notthed  I  tbiak  there  is  ttny^pUek  attiODg 
^heini-*-tdhey  hsve  not  Bpiiit  efiOttg;l|  lie  thixMr  a 
atoneatadog^^'  ■.-•  ^'-"^  '      n^^..i.l\>'*A.■n 

t'Haidljr'  had  tliefle  'tHimtiBg' woi^<  eM»q]ied 
fais^  Itpsy  than^'bangy  erath^^  '  and  -  a  ibmr- 
'«ad*4weiit]r  pound  Bhot  came  veekiag^lbifoi^h 
the  wai§t-hammockSy  for  they  had'  net -yet 
been  piped  down^  and  covered  ns' over  with 
horse^'hair,  and  an  abominable  oompoBitioii  eall- 
ed  flock.  The  ball  took  a  slanting -direotion 
throogh  the  main  and  oiicq>  dec^^  mac}^<came 
oat  just  below  the  water-line,'  inakiiig  in* 
-stantly  a  leak  that  we  could  not  aifibet  4o 
d^ise^  •        -     ^ 

'^  Dr^Il,"  said  Reud,  shaking  the  dost  from 
his  person.  .   '  ^ 

'    «' Very/'  said  his  well*dined  echoes  aimnfd 
him.      . 

If  this  be  jesting,  thought  I,  the  ^Mun  t>t 
the  joke  is  to  come  yet. 

''Beat  to  quarters,  Mr.  Rattlfai.''    The  liea^ 


H  ATTLIN^  <  'FUR  JIBBrKft.  211 

:teiuiit6  »md.  4iMra  than  ?  half  -^  4he  fjrew^ w«re 
aiif^y  ]« the  (boata.  'She  iMa  ^Wjere  ^ooa  at  -their 
.gitiidf^aad^aa.thejr  hai&  beeaaniyt^Iiightlyse- 
ciiired>  they  were  read]! 4o.retite«. the £re  dmott 
immediately.  Upon  looking  up  at  the  soiirQe 
of  our  anooyanoa^  wetlbuod  that  it  wafiLei^Jippe- 
Ie«B  case*  The  height  was  so  great,  /and^ao 
ifmnediately  above  us,  that,  without  heeliag>iUie 
fcigate  over,  not  a  gun  could  be  brooghi^to 
bear.  Another  shot  from  the  battery  served.<to 
quicken  our  deliberations.  There  was  no- time 
to  be  lost.: 

11  Captain  Reud  sent  the  various  commanders 
on  board  their  respective  vessels,  with  orders, 
as  fast  as  any  of  their  boats  came  in,,  to 
send  them  to  us  immediately,  with  their 
snariiies«  For  ourselves,  all  our  boats  were 
away  except  the  gig.  Into  that  L  jumped, 
foUowed.  by  the  captain  and  six  marines. 
Every  man,  except  a  quarter-master  and 
a  couple  of  look-outs,  was  piped  down  bejow, 
with  strict  orders  that  they  were  to  stay 
there  and  not  e^^pose  themselves,  and  the  ship 


\ 


27^  EATTLIN,  Xm  ^£^^^ 

was  left  in  charge  o£  the  guipn^^  whi]b^  ib# 
carpenter  and  his  crew  were  acdyely  ^mpjL^ywl 
in  the  wings,  in  plugginj^  the  abotrhoLef ; 
for  every  ball  that  was  fired  came,  in  ^omd* 
where  upon  the  decks,  and  made  ite  way 
through  the  ship's  sides,  low  up4^  ,tb« 
water. 

However,  annoying  as  this  was,  there  wwa 
but  two  guns  playing  upon  us,  which,  though 
served  with  admirable  precision,  fired  bat 
slowly.  We  had  not  lain  on  our  oars  a  quarter 
of  an  hour  between  the  ship  and  the  shore,  a 
space  of  not  more  than  forty  yards,  when  we 
were  joined  by  seven  boats  of  various  dimen« 
sions,  crammed  as  full  of  jollies  as  they  could 
possibly  hold.  We  were  on  shore  in  a  moment, 
and,  without  much  care  as  to  forming,  we  all 
scrambled  up  the  hill  as  fast  as  we  could*  It 
was  very  steep  indeed,  but  we  were  not  fired 
upon  by  any  small  arms  whatever,  and  the  guns 
could  not  be  sufficiently  depressed  from  the 
embrasures  to  be  made  to  bear  upon  us.  They 
certainly  must  have  perceived,  us,  for  the  moon 


-  f  ■>-     ., 


AAtlttx;  t&e  ibiEfisiL  273 

was  Bhinlng  with  aingalar  splendour ;  trnt  they 
flteemed  to  take  no  notice  of  our  advance,  but 
fired  twice  upon  the  Aigate  as  we  were  dirnb* 
ing  or  rather  scrambluig  up. 

This  assault  was  an  affair  got  up  with  so 
little  premeditation,  that  Captain  Reud  had  no 
other  arms  than  his  r^ulation  sword ;  and  his 
aide-de-camp,  my  redoubtable  self,  no  other 
weapdn  of  offence  than  a  little  crooked  dirk,  so 
considerately  curved,  that  it  would  not  answer 
ihe  purpose  of  a  dagger  to  stab  with,  and  so 
blunt,  that  I  am  sure,  though  it  might  separate, 
it  could  not  cut  through  a  plum-pudding. 
Though  I  was  approaching  pari  passu  with 
my  commander  to  a  "parapet,  where  there  was 
no  **  imminent  deadly  breach,"  I  was  so 
much  ashamed  of  my  side-arms,  that  I  would 
not  expose  them  to  the  night  air. 

Up  we  tumbled  close  under  the  low,  turf- 
constructed  battlement,  and,  as  we  were  in  the 
act  of  scrambling  over  it,  we  received  a  strag^ 
ling  and  ill-directed  fire  of  musketry. 

One  hurrah  from  our  party,  and  we  were 

n6 


{£74  BATTLIN,  fTHE  ^  EBBFEff; 

mHo  the  ibrtih  a  iiiottvenlv  aild^airmi'<M4i(ro 
^flanl^i^  tt'ivtillias  the  ilrotfti--  'Fbr  «U  tlhocitefvice 
tbftti  1  eould  reni^t^  >l^ndg}ktr  a^'-Well  tui^ 
charged;  aB  k  tolidshipasto  usCMil^'iVfltllUr  the 
d^k^  wiUi  my  itandB  Itt  nyy'  podk^lt^i  I  ^Ho#- 
every  ^^f^  ire  wet^  faei^  to  fcM^  #illl  <Hir 
opponenid,  on  the  planked  fldto<6f  fh^^fi^ift,  jmt 
a^*  fhejr  wer^  inaking  uptbcSf  lafiSadft^to*  run 
«waf .  But  they  did  not  go  ^iiife  ai'  %bM.-  as 
they  ought.  In  jumpiog  orer  the  tllrfy  ttMiiid, 
it  must  be  Bupposed,  as  was  reaify  the  Wtfe^'  that 
it  took  OS  an  instant  or  two  to  teeovef'^  ^ 
-equilibrium  and  ascertain  the  surety '^f'ttar 
footing,  but  that  instant  was  a  Teryaua^ing 
one,  for  the  Frenchman  directly  opposi^  ^to 
Captain  Reud  deliberately  put  his  niudiet 
against  the  said  captain's  face,  and  tluyogh  I, 
unarmed  as  I  was,  actually  did  strike  apt  this 
musket  as  naneh  as  I  was  abte,  it  had:«nty  the 
etkci  of  making  the  bayonet  at  the -end  4(yf  it 
^ore  a  deep  wound  from  the  bridge  of  his  nose 
to  the  top  of  his  forehead,  when  the  trigger^ wIls 
jmlled,  and  the  ^ele  ^rown  ef  Captain  ^Reud's 


him  round  Uke  ai  weatfaeicQcsk  ^i  tiMtimUy  hdf 
tiinied .also^  giirkigv the ^Mn^  tteiludMantfi^ 
pf  studying  inj^^pmfijksii  'Wiiibt  J  wd^tp^pwed 

Jijyf  .HyDo$|*jrigl;>trtbraugbi  tb^obaefcr iftfiqipy 
n^ck,  gi^a^tpg  ^b^vei^bM^,  and  Q^^^ing,^  ti^ 
jHgk^'  and  jcoming  out  ou  the  IfiSt^  ^i^   T^^mig 

« 

ip.  tb^ js^nt^r  a . sheath ^r  his  wef^fiM? ^vthe 
blackguard  left  it  there,  and  thiia«hayjiqg,^^s- 
:^  meaQ  with  a  «keweF|  shewed  >nie  hi&  j^a^k 
.and  fled«  v  The^  butt*end  of  the  inuakHiil^Uiiig 
t9,  .'tbfi  ground^  gave  -me  a  terrible  wrench  of 
the,bead>  but  reli^ived  me  at  the  same  time  of 

:  That!  i  was  tlie  first  time  I  ever  hkd£^vfij 
-oouiMary*  Indeed,  !>  bled  much  morQthap^iJ^y 
>poor  captain ,  However,  >  the  ge^e^uei^  :C^:||ie 
rfort  rushed  outas  we  ru^bedin,.af&4J^|e4  hW»d 
^oyer.  h^s^  down,  tlia  Mh^r^sid^  pJ^.tbaMh^l- 
^Three  or<ifour  were  l^^iUed  pu^.itb^  .pliatf^rq^; 

among  ;whom#  at.tb^.time.M^TpiUly  wi^l^, 


9W  BATTLiar^  THE  REEFER. 

WM  the  inflicter  of  my  wonod;  «ome  were  diot 
«6  tbey  ran  down  the  uilanid  Bide  of  the  hill^ 
aod  the  fort  wms  oura,  with  the  lose  of  one  man 
killed,  and,  I  tibmkf  six  wounded.  M^hart 
wf^  very  trifling :;  a  pieoe  of  adhesive  fdaatef 
on  the  two  orifieee  was  all  <die  snrgieal^  assist^ 
anoe  that  I  either  had  or  reqniredi  -  But  the 
case  with  poor  Read  was  varj  different.-  I 
detest  giving  a  revolting  description  of  woamb ; 
I  shall  only  say,  that  this  was  a  most  dreadfai 
one.  He  lay  for  a  month  almost  in  a  state  of 
insensibility ;  and  though  he  lived  for  more  than 
half  a  year  with  his  head  plated  with  eilfer, 
I  know  that  he  was  never  afterwards  perfectly 
sane. 

Walking  about  for  a  couple  of  days  with 
a  stiff  neck,  which  was  all  the  inconvenienee 
I  experienced,  I  assumed  no  little  npon  my 
firmness  in  storming,  and  on  my  honomr- 
able  scars.  The  next  morning  aU  the  priEes 
were  secured,  the  town  formally  taken  po8ae»* 
sion  of,'  and,  whilst  Captain  Reud  lay  in  the 
torpor  of  what  was  all  but  death,  it  was  deli- 


bemted  that  we  Bbbold  do  mth  ouv  ooaquetlA 
It  waa  a .  matter  of  ■ome  dtfSkndty  to  ^deoid^ 
upon.  At  tbk  periodyf  the  two  fiictioiis  of  iJm 
blacks,  Petion'a  and  ChrialqpheV  held  th« 
weatero  parts  of  the  fine  island  of  St*  Domingo; 
The  Spaniards  had  laige  possesaioiis  in  the 
centre  df  the  island,  and  the  Fraach  still  held 
a  sway  over  the  city  of  St.  Domiogo,  attd  had 
a  precarious  footing  m  the  eastern  divisicD^ 
where  we  now  were. 

The  place  was  too  insignificant  to  garrison 
for  a  permanent  conquest  for  the  Engltsfa« 
Many  of  our  officers,  and  all  the  men,  wished 
very  naturally  to  plunder  it ;  but  the  captain 
of  the  other  frigate,  now  the  commander,  would 
not  listen  to  the  proposal  for  a  moment.  How- 
ever, we  totally  destroyed  their  small  dock- 
yard, burned  three  fine  schooners  on  the  stocks, 
demolished  the  fort  that  bad  been  so  pemiciouB 
to  Captain  Reud,  and  which  commanded  the 
town ;  and  then,  the  officers,  and  small  parties 
of  the  ship's  company  were  permitted   to  go 


S76  KAiTTUVj  THE  JRi^eSFSK. 

«(n  shoce,  Bad  tolive  «t  free^;qtia|fl^»ra]^oo.rlbe 
inbabitaiits.  tgtriot  ovd«rs  yf^rer:  ^tef^.  to>i^ 
spect  life  and  limb,  and  the  honour  of*^tl|((.||i- 
dies;  and  tb00e.<>i^em  wisre^gwemJlj^ivellren- 
IcH-oed*  <  It  W0B  certainly  a  plea$aiif,riiil^g,.^ 
gb  on  shore  and  walk  into^  unjfrhct^iser.ttttjt 
pleased  you,  call  fin*  what  yoiif  ly^ftnA^^flte  Ti^j 
protecting,  and,  after  hayipg  leatoB^a^d.^rpuk 
to  ^tiety,  to  depart  without  Roving  U^,ca$t^p 
the  items  of  a  bill.  :   «  :  ^     ,  '  :^ 

These  brigands  were  treated  Qii^cb'  tpo)  le- 
niently>  for  I  verily  believe,  that,,  for  a  va$t 
namber  of  years,  all  the  male  population  were 
bom,  bred,  lived,  and  had  died  piratea...  TJ^^y 
were  of  all  nations  of  the  earth ;  and, .  I  muat 
say,  that  this  blending  of  the  various  races,  bad 
produced  a  very  handsojne  set  of  men,  and  v^ry 
beautiful  women.  There  were  piaay  .Epgljsb 
females  among  them,  who  had  been  captured 
in  our  merchant  vessels,  and  bad  beeq  foixved 
into  marriages  with  their  lawless  captor^. 
They  were,  for  the  most  part,  like  tb^  Sabine 


w<>iMBi;  reisoiieilcd  to  iheirJo^i  mmL  toatk  to 
le&ve  th«ir  loi^;  thevf  -  vAWtai^mi  "mi  '  tlMir 
ehildtenv  -  '  •     '     '^  •    ■    ■'■^^'    ■  ■'•    <•■'  "■""'' 

The  goT6i«nor  ^f  the  jdiusciV  u  Pi^ch  col<m€ly 
uraa  cftpttii^  AS  be  efideiiivouFdd'  to-  make  hilB 
escape  hi  '■  one  of  the  sehooner  privateers^'  M^ 
had  him  on  board  of  omr  ship  for  some  tnae, 
aiid  he  confbsiMd  that  the  place  flourished  only 
by  beans  of  what  he  was  pleased  to  designate 
as  free  trading. 

The  prises,  deeply  ladeni  left  the  port  one 
after  the  other,  and  then  the  men-of-'War  brigs, 
afterwards  the  sloop  of  war,  and,  at  length, 
otir  consort,  the  frigate.  We  now  lay  alone 
in  these  quiet  waters,  and  there  we  remained 
/or  nearly  three  months.  All  this  time  our 
captiun  could  hardly  be  said  to  be  living.  No 
ohe-was  allowed  to  come  aft  beyond  the  miseti- 
niast.  We  always  spoke  with  hushed  voices, 
and  walked  about  stealthily  upon  tip4oe.  The 
bells  ceased  to  be  struck,  and  ev«ry  precaution 
wa6  taken  to  preserve  the  most  profound  sS- 
lence.      But  our  amusements  on  shore  were 


280 


t    '» 


RATTLiM^  tHB  RfifiF^a. 


more  than  commensurate  for  our  restraints  on 
board.  Most  of  the  officers  and  men  took  unto 
themselves  wives,  pro  hoc  vice — chalked,  or 
rather  painted  their  names  upon  the  doors  of 
their  mansions,  and  made  themselves  com- 
pletely at  home. 


E^rnfDf^  TOE  ui^^R; 


;      I 


2St 


•  • .  • 


t  ■  ■  • 


t 


•  I  -  . 


. .  f 


.     i 


CHAPTER  XXI. 

Liaisons  dangeretaet  —  Ralph  diveth  into  the  dilemma  of 
love,  and  admireth  the  fetherly  conduct  of  the  parent  of 
his  Dulcinea-**Yet  nigeth  and  weepeth  that  she  is  a  slave 
who  bath  enslaved  him. 


At  this  time  I  bad  begun  to  look  fierce,  if 
any  one  did  not  accede  to  me  the  rights  and 
priyil^ea  of  a  man ;  and  especially  since  I  had 
received  my  bayonet  wound :  my  vanity  upon 
this  score  became  insapportable.  *^  Younker  " 
was  now  a  term  of  bittemeas  to  me ;  on  the 
word  ''  lad  "  I  looked  with  sovereign  contempt ; 
^*  boy  "  I  had  long  done  with.  Heartily  I 
prayed  for  a  beard,    but  it  came   not ;    so. 


S99  RATTf^lN,  VHE  Wfmm 

in  oi^r  to  supply,  tb^  ^eficieiK^,  I.,iMd  to 
practise  looking  stem  before  my  dresaing^glM^ 
But  all  my  efforts  at  an  ^ootwanl  semblaQQe  of 
mcinVinees  were  vain ;  my  fece  "vm^  iwoh.  toQ 
liar  and  fesniniae,  thoi^h-  my  ati^ttrc^ jaad  tbe 
ficmaeas  ^my  firame,  wef)e  juat/wfaaM  wUbcd- 
I  wna  not  on  board  the  vessel  aflcT'tb^  first 
^^.ihat  she  lay  in  the  port^ ^  Anian^  jsgr 
did  I  rejoin  ber  until  she  was  in  tha  irei*y«dt 
of  sailing  out  of  it.  :  •  i- 

How  am  I  to  approach  this  sobject,  so  ro*- 
mantic,  so  deliciouBi  and  so  delicate  I  > 'How 
can  I  record  events,  that|  in  proTing  to me^at 
I  had  a  heart,  first  destroyed  its  strength  by 
the  sweet  delirium  of  ecstasy,  and  thus,  hairing 
enfeebled,  almost  broke  it !  Before^  the  poetie 
ardour  had  often  been  upon  me ;  but  the  fire 
was  lighted  up  at  the  shrine  of  yanity,  Mii  I 
sang  for  applause.  It  was  to  be  rekindled  •  by 
love ;  but  to  bum  with  a  concealed  fnry^  Jto^be 
whispered  only  to  my  own  soul •-^  a  feding>  too 
great  for  utterance,  too  intense  for  song,  was  to 
devour  me.    I  experienced  ecstasies  that  were 


not  itappttnees  i  I  IcAnHi  th^  Mtter^  trodfe^  tbttt 
rttj^ture-imoe-blisB/ '--'-- '  "■  ■"■  '5^'  '^'  ^»-  ■-.■:-*>•*■>: 
Abmit  fl  irM^k  Bifler  we  had  ^^l^aidcd  tf  <]^idt 
Bettlemeot  in-  the^  town,  aad  terf  ttaBy^^W^ 
^et  MttlemeDt  in  tiie  hearts,  tts  widl  d^  in  tlihfe 
hoiiMS^  of  the  beautiAil  Greolee  and  hatfeAstei^ 
I  idsa  wetti^  on  Mdiore^  with  Modee^  walkiog 
•teadtlf'  on  my  right  hand,  whilst  Madam 
T€mptation'wa8  wiekedly  ogliiig  me  on  the  Idt. 
I  looked  in  on  the  estaUishments  of  several  of 
my  brother  officers,  and  certainly  adfliired  the 
rapidity  with  which  diey  had  surrounded  them* 
srives  with  all  manner  of  domestic  comforts, 
hiclnding  wires,  and,  in  some  instances,  large 
iuttiliea  of  children.  Tliere  was  much  more 
than  ready-made  love  in  these  arrangements; 
any  one  may  hay  that  for  ready  money ;  but  a 
iready-made  pn^eny,  a  ready-made  househcdd, 
and  a  ready-made  wife,  without  one  stiver  of 
vtady  money,  was  the  astonishment ;  but  English 
sailors  can  do  any  thing. 
'  Well,  at  Nio*  14,  Rue  Coquine,  I  aocepted  the 
pimer's  invitatbn  to  dinner  at  four,  enfamille. 
It  seemed  quite  natural.  *" 


884  HAT^FLiN^  ^nm 

)  *•  My  dore,'*  said  h^,  <•  ydu'U  g«t  «6  fc  "M 
offish.  Mr.  RBttlin  lores  fisb/' 
-■  ♦*' Certttinly,  my  lot«,"*  said  Mrs;  Vtvoferpro 
tempore^  looking  a  battqry  <tf  attdalriBtHiea. 
'"  <*  Allow  me  to  introduce  you  to  mf  aiMQ^*iiH 
.  ImWy  Ma'aniselle  D'Avalonge,"  said  the  pafseT) 
•  presenthig  a  very  well  dressed  yooisg  lady  toidne, 
with  alt  the  ease  of  a  family  maiK.  -  - 

The  introdaction  took  place  immediately» 
and  the  lady  and  I  found  each  other  charo^ing ; 
indeed  we  said  so.  After  a  few  more  coanplt* 
ments,  and  a  very  pretty  song,  accompanied  by 
the  guitar,  from  mademoiselle,  I  took  my  leave, 
promising  to  be  punctual  to  my  appointment. 
I  was  not  punctual — I  never  saw  their  dear 
faces  again. 

I  left  the  town,  and  strolled  up  into  the 
interior,  keeping,  however,  our  small  fleet  in 
sight,  and  walking  seaward.  I  found  the  en* 
virons  well  cultivated,  and  the  houses  in  the 
various  plantations  solidly  built,  and  of  stone. 
From  every  habitation  that  I  passed  I  had 
pressing  invitations  to  enter  and  refresh  myself. 
These  I  declined.     At  length  I  arrived  at  a 


katsi:jn^  the  wsfispwu  pm 

beautiftil  .wood»  eyidently  asder.  the  iOUre  of 
man ;  for  the  different  tree*  w^e$  sq /arranged!^ 
as  tQ  prodius8r<)Ei  nmantie  eiect^'iTJbe  .shade 
that  the  Joftjr  inabogany  trees  afforded  waanYefy 
grateful^  for  it  wafl  now  a  iittleaftei^iHxai;;  and 
ii|.  this  grota  I  paced  elawljr  np.  nni  idowwLi 
narsing  imyjpride  with  all  manner. of  coiiQaita« 
^ow  wishing  &r  some  adventuret  now  fancjpog 
myedf  some  king,  now  turning  with  pitying 
thoughts  upon  poor  Reud,  and  then  seeix^  the 
misery  that  we^  in  our  honourable  Yooation, 
were  daily,  causing,  and  the  vice  that  we  were 
daily  acting,  asking  myself  if  there  were  any 
thing  in  life  worth  living  for. 

I  well  remember  the  crowding,  the  overbear* 
ing  thoughts  of  that  solitary  and  melancholy 
hour.  It  seemed  to  me  as  if  I  were  compelled 
into  a  summing  up  of  all  my  reflections,  before 
I  plunged  into  some  unknown  sea  of  mysterious 
events.  After  my  mind  had  exhausted  every 
object  of  contemplation  that  the  scene  around 
me  had  suggested,  my  thoughts  travelled  home 
-r-home  !  had  I  a  home— bad  I  any  thing,  that 


280^  RATTLIN^  THE  BBBFElt^ 

loTed  me-^^-^atqr  thing  that,  im  the  A^pptvtuibmd* 
dJmABJug . 861106  "q£  the  tccni^  aay^'thifi^ithiiii 
loTiul  1  Should  I  crrerK)bftlmi  that  oljeal/uMS^ 
ittenoep  some  one  on  whom  ia irepoas'  uiraffiiH; 
tiQtt>  rejoice  with  iBihappmeaa^^piUowjfiir  my* 
head^  aadareitingj^plaeafbf .taoyhdarilti  .l.Ui. 
that)  whilst  I  hated  Booe-^aiid^har^'were  tndhjr. 
to  whom  I  was  attached — my  heart  jtianied  Sim 
sodme  one  oowhom  to  expend  ita^energieay .'.iE 
panted  for  an  object  which  I  could  worships  and 
by  whom  I  should  be  worshipped^  I  may 
almost  say,  thai  I  prayed  for  it — it  was  granted^ 
and  immediately. 

In  the  distance,  and  much  below  where  I 
stood,  I  heard  voices  in  violent  altencation; 
among  which  the  *^  'vast  heavings,"  '^  Uow  me 
tights/*  *^  a  stopper  over  all/'  with  other  such 
nautical  expletives,  were  predominant*  I  broke 
from  my  cover,  and  found  myself  immediately 
on  a  slope^  before  a  very  respectable  habitaitiony 
nearly  surrounded  by  boiling-houses,  and  other 
outbuildings  necessary  to  a  sugar  and  coffee 
plantation.    The  group  before  me  consisted  of 


BATTLnr;  THE  HBBFEIU  38^' 

a  8omI1,  mergetie,  old,  and  Mtlntt^hidMd  Fi«t»efeM' 
iliani,  neatly  dr es^d'  in  a  •ciomplete'  mxit  4pt  Mm^ 
keen^  mtb  lib  bixMuUbriKiHied  Bttwir^liat  4MiIh 
miiisively  iftrhis hand^epeakiiig  all  maniiei*  of 
iair  and  ttbiutelligiUe  Frencbivofda  to  iMo 
haki,  notaf'aajdbip^betwfeDiffaicktireiy  mw 
palkd  lias  mgpif  Hour  plueked  that,  wM'a^  tinhM 
and  bealll)ifu^girl,'Of  aboot  M€«tt  yearsuiPi^^ 
There  it^ere  setiera}  <  negroes,  grinnitig  attd  jmti^ 
sive  9pe(ttator9  of  ibis  scene.  I  undenltood  it 
in.  fr  moment.  So  did  my  gentlemen  in  the 
tarpaulin  bats.  They  irere  off  to  me  in  a  less 
time  than  a  topgallant  breeze  takea  to  tmrel 
aft  from  the  flying  jib-boom,  supposing  the 
ship  to  be  at  single  anchor. 
^.l  took  out  my  pocket-book,  wrote  dowti 
their  names  (most  likely  purser^s  ones),  and 
ordered  them  on  board  their  ressel  directly. 
Tfaay  ^obeyed,  or  at  least  appeared  to:4o  so^ 
and  departed,  easting  many  '<  aiingerilfig,-  k>ag^ 
ing  look  b^ind^''  leating  me  the  triumphant 
master  of  the  field -^  the  p8dadia,iirho  had  res^ 
clied  4he  fair,  fi>r  which  {  receive  much  dAp^ 


288  RATTLIN>  THB  REBFfiR. 

ping  of  hands  from  the  dark  visages^  and  an 
intense  look  of  gratitode  from  the  fiur,  pale 
creature,  whom  I  had  released  from  the  Tery 
equivocal  rudeness  of  her  admirers*  The 
thanks  from  Monsieur  Manuel,  the  &ther,  weie 
neither  silent  nor  few,  and,  when  he  found  that 
I  could  converse  in  French,  he  exhausted  the 
vocabulary  of  that  copious  language  of  all  its 
expressions  of  gratitude.  I  hardly  could  per* 
ceive  that  I  had  rendered  any  service  at  all; 
I  had  struck  no  blows  and  had  run  no  risk; 
I  had  merely  spoken,  and  obedience  followed. 
However,  as  I  could  not  stem  the  torrent  of 
his  gratitude,  I  determined  to  divert  its  course, 
by  yielding  to  his  urgent  entreaties  to  accom- 
pany him  to  his  house,  and  recruit  myself, 
after  my  perilous  and  heroic  deed. 

We  were  soon  seated  in  the  coolest  room  in 
his  mansion,  and  every  West  Indian  luxury 
was  quickly  produced  to  tempt  my  palate.  In 
fifteen  minutes  he  had  acquainted  me  with  his 
parentage,  his  possessions,  and  his  history. 
He  assured  me,  with  gesticulations^  and  a  few 


RATTUN,  THE  REEFER.  289 

oaths,  that  he  was  not  at  all  connected  with 
the  brigands  that  .inhabited  the  town  below-— 
that  he  despised  them,  knew  them  all  to  be 
pirates,  or  abettors  of  pirates,  revolutionists, 
and  republicans — ^tha^  he  was  at  heart,  yea, 
isi  heart  and  soul,  a  royalist,  and  devotedly 
attached  to  the  vietuif  regime ;  that  the  estate 
he  now  cultivated  he  had  inherited  from  his 
father,  who  had  been  one  of  the  few  spared  in 
the  revolt  of  the  blacks ;  that  he  had  been  edu- 
cated at  Paris,  but,  for  the  last  five-and-thirty 
years,  had  hardly  been  off  his  own  grounds*- 
that  he  had  no  wife,  and,  indeed,  never  married, 
had  no  fEunily  at  all,  excepting  Josephine,  who 
sate  beside  him,  who  was  his  very  dear  and  only 
child. 

He  did  not  add,  **  a  slave,  and  the  daughter 
of  a  slave." 

I  now  looked  upon  her  steadfastly  for  the 
first  time,  and  with  the  most  intense  emotion : 
but  it  was  pity.  I  had  been  sufficiently  long  in 
the  West  Indies  to  know  exactly  the  relation  in 
which  she  stood  to  her  fieither.     However,  he 

VOL.   II.  o 


290  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

went  on  to  relate  how  she  had  been  born  to  him 
by  a  beautiful  mulatto,  for  whom  he  had  given 
a  great  sum ;  yet  at  this  she  startled  not»  moved 
not,  blushed  not  But  her*8  was  not  the  calm- 
ness of  obduracy,  but  of  innocence. 

Strongly  did  I  commiserate  her,  and  gentij 
strove  to  draw  her  into  discourse.  I  found  her 
ignorant,  oh !  how  profoundly  ignorant !  She 
had  no  ideas  beyond  the  estate  in  whidi  die 
lived,  and  those  that  she  had  gathered  from  llie 
gang  of  negroes  that  worked  it.  Her  fether  had 
taught  her  nothing  but  to  play  a  few  tones  by 
ear  upon  the  guitar,  and  sing  some  old  Frendi 
songs.  Yet  she  had  been  accustomed  to  all 
the  observances  of  a  lady — ^had  slaves  to  wait 
upon  her,  and  was  always  elaborately,  some- 
times richly,  dressed.  Isolated  as  she  had 
been,  I  soon  discovered  that  she  was  a  com- 
pound of  enthusiasm,  talent,  and  melancholy. 
She  was  littie  more  than  fifteen  years  old,  yet 
that  age,  in  those  tropical  climates,  answers 
fiilly  to  an  European  one-and-twenty.  In 
form,  she  was  a  perfect  woman,  light,  roimded. 


RATTUN,  THE  REEFER.  291 

• 

and  extremely  active ;  all  her  motions  were  as 
graceful,  and  as  undulating,  as  the  gently- 
swelling  billow.  If  she  moved  quickly,  she 
bounded ;  if  slowly,  she  appeared  to  glide  on 
effortless  through  space.  She  had  taken  her 
lessons  of  grace  in  the  woods,  and  her  gymna- 
sium  had  been  among  the  sportive  billows  of  the 
ocean.  It  is  but  of  little  use  my  describing 
her  face ;  for  every  one  supposes,  that  in  these 
afEeurs,  the  author  draws  at  once,  as  largely  as 
he  can,  upon  his  own  imagination,  and  as 
he  dares,  upon  the  credulity  of  his  readers. 
Though  a  slave,  she  had  but  little  of  the  black 
blood  in  her—in  her  complexion  none.  She 
was  not  fiur,  but  her  skin  was  very  transparent, 
very  pure,  and  of  a  dazzling  and  creamy  sort 
of  whiteness.  I  have  seen  something  like  it  on 
the  delicate  Chinese  paintings  of  the  secluded 
ladies  of  that  very  secluded  empire,  and  should 
imagine  it  just  such  a  permanent  tint  as  the 
Roman  empress  strove  to  procure  by  bathing 
every  day  in  milk.  Colour  she  had  none, 
and  thrilling  must  have  been  the  emotions 
that  could  call  it  into  her  placid  and  pensive 


292  RATTLIN,  THE  R£EF£R. 

cheeks.  Her  features  were  not  chUeUed,  nd 
bad  any  sculptor  striven  to  imitate  ihem  on  llie 
purest  marble,  he  would  have  discovered  that 
chiselling  would  not  do.  They  were  at  oiiipe 
formed  and  informed  by  the  Deity.  It  is  cf 
no  use  talking  about  her  luxurious  and  nigfa^ 
emulating  hair,  her  lips,  and  those  eyes^  tfiift 
seemed  to  contain,  in  their  small  compass  « 
whole  sea  of  melancholy,  in  which  love  was 
struggling  to  support  a  half-drowned  joy. 

As  I  turned  to  converse  with  her  she  looked 
up  to  mc  confidingly.  She  appeared,  as  it  wen^ 
incessantly  ^to  draw  me  to  her  with  her  lai]ge 
black  eyes ;  they  seemed  to  say  to  me,  ^  Come 
nearer  to  me,  that  I  may  understand  thee.  Art 
thou  not  something  distinct  from  the  beings 
that  I  see  around  me —sometliing  that  can  teach 
me  what  I  am,  and  will  also  give  me  something 
to  venerate,  to  idolize,  and  to  love?'  As  I 
continued  to  speak  to  her,  her  attention  grew 
into  a  quiet  rapture,  yet  still  a  sublime  melan- 
choly seemed  to  hold  her  feelings  in  a  solemn 
thraldom. 

My  name,  my  rank,  and  my  situation  were 


RATTUK,  THE  REEFER.  293 

soon  disdoeed  to  the  fiither  and  daughter ;  and 
the  former  seeuig  how  entranced  we  were  with 
each  other'^8  company^  like  a  prudent  parent, 
Idt  us  to  ourselves.  My  French  was  much 
purer,  and  more  grammatical  than  hers,  hers 
mudi  more  fluent  than  mine.  Yet,  notwith- 
standing this  deficiency  on  both  sides,  we 
understood  each  other  perfectly,  and  we  had 
not  been  above  two  hours  together  alone,  before 
I  told  her  that  I  loved  her  for  her  very  igno* 
ranoe^  and  she  had  confessed  to  me  that  she 
loved  me,  because— because->the  reader  will 
never  guess  why — ^because  I  was  so  like  the 
good  spirit  that  walked  gently  through  the 
forest,  ^and  gathered  up  the  fever-mists  before 
they  reached  the  dwellings  of  man. 

I  very  naturaUy  asked  her  if  she  had  seen 
this  being.  She  said  no,  but  knew  him  as  well 
as  if  she  had ;  for  old  Jumbila,  a  negress,  had 
so  often  talked  to  her  about  him,  that  her  idea 
of  him  was  as  £eimiliar  to  her  as  the  presence  of 
her  father. 

<^  You  have  much  to  unlearn,  my  sweet  one,', 

o3 


2d4  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

thought  I,  ^^and  I  shall  be  but  too  happy  m 
being  your  preceptor.** 

At  sunset.  Monsieur  Manuel  returned,  led  us 
into  another  apartment,  where  a  not  inel^ant 
dinner  was  served  up  to  us.  Knowing  the 
habits  of  my  countrymen,  we  sate  over  some 
very  superior  claret,  after  Josephine  had  re- 
tired. I  took  this  opportunity  to  reproach 
him  in  the  gentlest  terms  that  I  could  iise, 
with  the  dreadful  ignorance  in  which  he  had 
suffered  a  creature  so  lovely  and  so  superior  to 
remain. 

His  reply  was  a  grimace,  a  hoisting  of  his 
shoulders  above  his  head,  an  opening  of  his 
hands  and  fingers  to  their  utmost  extent,  and  a 
most  pathetic  **  Que  voulez-votis  ?" 

"  I  will  tell  you,  friend  Manuel,"  I  answered, 
for  his  wine  had  warmed  me  much,  his  daugh- 
ter more;  "I  would  have  had  her  taught,  at 
least,  to  read  and  write,  that  she  had  an  immor- 
tal soul,  a  soul  as  precious  to  its  Maker  as  it 
was  to  herself.  I  would  have  had  her  taught 
to  despise  such  superstitious  nonsense  as  obco- 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  9S& 

ism,  mist  spirits,  and  all  the  pernicious  jargon 
of  spells  and  fetishes.  I  would,  my  dear 
Manuel,  have  made  her  a  fit  companion  for 
myself;  for  with  such  beauty  and  such  a  soul, 
I  am  convinced  that  she  would  realize  female 
perfection  as  nearly  as  poor  humanity  is  per- 
mitted to  do." 

*^  Que  votdex-wma  f"  again  met  my  ears ;  but 
it  was  attended  by  some  attempt  at  justification 
of  his  very  culpable  remissness.  He  assured 
me,  that,  according  to  the  laws,  social  as  well  as 
judicial,  a  person  of  her  class,  were  she  possess- 
ed of  all  the  attributes  of  an  angel,  could  never 
be  received  into  white  society  nor  wed  with  any 
but  a  person  of  colour.  The  light  of  educa- 
tion, he  asserted,  would  only  the  more  show  her 
her  own  degradation :  he  said  he  felt  for  her, 
deeply  felt  for  her,  and  that  he  shuddered  at 
the  idea  of  his  own  death,  for  in  that  event  he 
felt  assured  that  she  would  be  sold  with  the  rest 
of  the  negroes  on  the  estate,  and  be  treated  in 
all  respects  as  a  slave— ^^md  she  had  been  so 
delicately    nurtured.      She    had  indeed: — ^her 


296  RATTUN,  THE  REBFSIt 

long  white    fingers   and   Telvety    band   bore 
Buffident  testimony  to  this* 

^^  But  can  3rou  not  manumit  her  f*  said  L 
^<  Impossible.  When  die  island  was  more 
settled  and  better  governed  than  now,  the  I^gal 
obstructions  thrown  in  the  way  of  the  act  were 
almost  insuperable :  at  present  it  is  imposubfe. 
I  have  no  doubt  that  our  blood-thirsty  enemies, 
the  Spaniards,  who  are  our  nearest  neighbours^ 
immediately  you  English  leave  the  town,  as  you 
have  dismantled  our  forts,  and  carried  away 
almost  all  the  male  population  captive,  will 
ccHne  and  take  possession  of  this  place — ^not  that 
I  care  a  sous  for  the  brigands  whom  you  have 
just  routed  out  I  shall  have  to  submit  to  the 
Spanish  authority,  and  their  slave  laws  are  sdll 
more  imperative  than  ours,  though  they  inva- 
riably treat  their  slaves  better  than  any  other 
nation.  No^  there  is  no  hope  for  poor 
Josephine.^ 
"  Ck>uld  you  not  send  her  to  France  ?'* 
^^  Sacre  Dieu!  they  guillotined  all  my  rela- 
tions, all  my  iriends — all,  all — and,  my  friend,  I 


RATTUN,  THE  REEFBB.  397 

never  made  gold  by  taking  a  share  in  tfaoee 
long  low  schooners  that  yon  ha^e  kindly  taken 
under  your  care.  I  hare  some  boxes  of 
doubloons  stowed  away,  it  is  true.  But»  after 
all,  I  am  attached  to  this  place;  I  could  not 
sell  the  estate  for  want  of  a  purchaser;  and  I 
am  surrounded  by  such  an  infernal  set  of 
rascals,  that  I  never  could  embark  myself  with 
my  hard  cash  without  being  murdered.  No^ 
we  must  do  at  Rome  as  the  Romans  do." 

^A  sweet  specimen  of  a  Roman  you  are," 
thought  I,  and  I  fell  into  a  short  reverie ;  but 
it  was  broken  up  most  agreeably  by  seeing 
Josephine  trip  before  the  open  jalousies  with  a 
basket  of  flowers  in  her  hand.  She  paused  for 
a  moment  before  us,  and  looked  kindly  at  her 
£ather  and  smilingly  at  me.  It  was  the  first 
joyous,  really  joyous  smile  that  I  had  seen  in 
her  expressive  countenance.  It  went  right  to 
my  heart,  and  brought  with  it  a  train  of  the 
most  rapturous  feelings. 

^  God  bless  her  heart ;  I  do  love  her 
deailyl"   said  the  old  man.    '^  I'll  give  you  a 


298       BATTUIN,  THE  REEFER. 

convincing  proof  of  it,  my  young  friend,  Rat^ 
din.  Ab  I  bah— but  you  other  Engliwh  have 
spoiled  all — you  have  taken  Um  with  you.'* 

«  Who  r 

<'  Why,  Captain  Durand.  That  large  low 
black  schooner  was  his.  Yes,  be  would  have 
treated  her  well,  (said  Monsieur  le  P^ 
musing,)  and  he  offered  to  sign  an  agreement 
never  to  put  her  to  field  woric  or  to  hȴe  her 
flogged." 

^<  Put  whom  to  field  work  ?-«-flog  whom  ?" 
said  I,  all  amazement 

^<  Josephine,  to  be  sure ;  had  you  not  taken 
him  prisoner,  I  was  going,  next  month,  to  sell 
her  to  him  for  two  hundred  doubloons." 

<*  Now,  may  God  confound  you  for  an  un- 
holy, unnatural  villain  T  said  I,  springing  up^ 
and  overturning  the  table  and  virine  into  the 
fatherly  lap  of  Monsieur  ManueL  *^  If  you 
did  not  stand  there,  my  host,  I  would,  with  my 
hand  on  your  throat,  force  you  on  your  knees 
to  swear  that  —  that — that  you'U  never  sell 
poor,  poor  Josephine  for  a  slave.    Flog  her  T 


RATTUN,  THE  RSEFSK.  999 

said  I,  shuddering  and  tbe  tears  starting  into 
my  eyes — **  I  should  as  soon  have  thought  of 
flogging  an  empress's  eldest  daughter. 

<<  Be  pacified,  my  son/'  said  the  old  slave- 
dealer,  deliberately  clearing  himself  of  the 
dibris  of  the  dessert — <<  be  pacified,  my  son." 

The  words,  "  my  son,"  went  with  a  strange 
and  cheering  sound  into  my  very  heart's  core. 
Tlie  associations  that  they  brought  with  it  were 
blissful — I  listened  to  him  with  calmness. 

"  Be  pacified,  my  son,^  he  continued,  "  and  I 
will  prove  to  you  that  I  am  doing  everything 
for  tlie  best.  The  old  colonel,  our  late  gover-  ■ 
nor,  would  have  given  three  times  tbe  money 
for  her.  I  could  not  do  better  than  make  her 
over  to  a  kind-hearted  man,  who  would  use  her 
well,  and  who,  I  think,  is  fond  of  her.  Not  to 
part  with  her  for  a  heavy  sum  would  be  fixing 
a  stigma  upon  her;"  and  wretched  as  all  this 
reasoning  appeared  to  be,  I  was  convinced 
that  the  man  had  really  meant  to  have  acted 
kindly  by  selling  bis  own  daughter.  What  a 
pernicious,  d ble,  atrocious  social  system  that 


doo 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFEB. 


must  have  been  where  8adi  a  state  of  thmgs 
existed !  Reader,  this  same  feature  of  slayery 
still  exists, — and  in  free  and  enfightened 
America. 


END   OF   VOL.    II. 


LONDON: 

1B0T80N   AND  FALMXl,   PAHrTXHS,  8AT0T-tTlEBT»  tniAltD. 


'--     *■ 


RATTLIN, 


THE     REEFER. 


EDITED    BY 


THE  AUTHOR  OP  "  PETER  SIMPLE." 


'*  All  hands  heet  topsails —Away,  aloft !" 


IN   THREE  VOLUMES. 


VOL.  IIL 


Skftont>  lEbition. 


LONDON: 

ICHARD  BENTLEY,  NEW  BURLINGTON  STREET. 

1836. 


LONDON  : 
IBOTtON  AND    PAl.UiU^   PaillT»8»  tAVOV    STSKBT,  tTRA>'P> 


CONTENTS 


TO  THE  THIRD  VOLUME. 


Chap.  I. —  Ralph  deserteth  his  duty  —  All  for  love,  or 
''  the  world  well  lost,"  with  his  wits  into  the  bargain 
— Very  nice  disquisitions  on  honour        .        PiJige    1 


Chap.II.  —  Ralph  falleth  into  the  usual  delusion  of  sup- 
posing himself  happy  —  \risheth  it  may  last  all  his  life, 
making  it  a  reality  —  As  yet  no  symptoms  of  it  dispel- 
ling; but  the  brightest  sunset  may  have  the  darkest 


night 


17 


Chap.  HI.  —  A  short  chapter  and  a  miserable  one  —  the 
less  that  is  said  of  it  the  better  ...        26 


Chap.  IV. — The  Captain  taketh  to  tantrums — andkeepeth 
ou  board  monkeys,  bears,  and  discipline.  It  is  feared, 
also,  that  the  moon  hath  too  much  to  do  with  his  obser- 
vations     43 


iv  CONTENTS, 

Chap.  V. — A  fever  case^  and  a  potion  of  love,  if  not  alto- 
gether a  love-potion — What  are  the  doctors  about  when 
men  die  despite  of  their  knowledge,  and  are  cured  without 
it  ?    Ralph  knoweth  uot 49 

Chap.  VI.  —  A  new  character  introduced,  who  daimetb 
old  acquaintanceship— Not  very  honest  by  his  own  ac- 
count, which  giveth  him  more  the  appearance  of  honesty 
than  he  deserveth— He  proveth  to  be  a  steward  not  in- 
clined to  hide  his  talent  in  a  napkin  .        .       60 

Chap.  VII.  —  The  Art  of  Mischief  made  easy — rather 
hard  upon  the  experimented — ''Heaven  preserve  me 
from  my  friends !  I  '11  take  care  of  my  enemies  my- 
self,*' say  the  honest  Spaniards,  and  so  says  honest 
Ralph 71 

Chap.  VIII. — An  anticipated  dinner — ^AU  the  enjoyment 
spoiled  by  the  first  cut —  A  suit  of  clothes  ill  suited  for 
wearing — and  Joshua  Daunton  trying  on  a  pair  of  iron 
leggings — more  easily  put  on  than  shaken  off   .        82 

Chap.  IX.  —  The  cat-of-nine-tails  begets  a  tale  the  most 
annoying  to  Ralph  —  The  story  of  the  three  crows 
beaten  hollow — Seven's  the  main  and  a  losing  cast — ^A 
promised  treatise  on  ornithology  put  an  end  to  rather 
abruptly  by  the  biplumal  resolving  themselves  into  the 
mere  bipedal •        .        92 

Chap.  X. — A  dissertation  on  naval  glory — Ralph  falleth 
into  disgrace,  and  findeth  the  march  of  his  miseries 
arrested,  by  being  himself  put  under  an  arrest  —  A 


CONTENTS.  V 

fine  ship  run  down,  and  nobody  to  blame  but  **  the 
Reefer" 112 

Chap.  XI. — Distressing  disclosures,  and  some  very  pretty 
symptoms  of  brotherly  love  —  with  much  excellent  in- 
dignation utterly  thrown  away — Joshua  Daunton  either 
a  very  great  man,  or  a  very  great  rogue — ^perhaps  both, 
as  the  terms  are  often  s3n[ion3rmous  .  133 

Chap.  XII. — Listeners  seldom  hear  good  things  of  them* 
selves — Ralph  at  a  dreadful  discount  with  his  mess- 
mates, but  contrives  to  settle  his  accounts  with  his  prin- 
cipal debtor  145 

Chap.  XIIL—Soft  tack,  one  of  the  best  tacks,  after  all — 
Legs  of  mutton  sometimes  produce  friendships  of  long 
standing  completely  proved,  as  well  as  the  value  of 
good  grain  best  ascertained,  after  it  has  been  well 
thrashed .        154 

Chap.  XIV. — Ralph  is  placed  in  an  awkward  predicament, 
being  put  upon  his  trial  to  prove  his  identity,  and  having 
no  witnesses  to  call  but  nimself— All  voices  against  him 
but  his  own  ......        167 

Chap.  XV. — The  confessions  of  a  madman,  which,  never- 
theless, embrace  a  very  wise  caution— Ralph  gets  his 
liberty-ticket  —  very  needless,  as  he  is  determined 
henceforward  to  preserve  his  liberty — and,  being  treated 
so  uncivilly  as  a  sailor,  determines  to  turn  civilian  him- 
self         187 


( 


vi  CONTENTS. 

Chap.  XVI. — Ralph  finds  every  where  great  changes-^ 
Gives  way  to  his  feelings,  and  maices  a  fool  of  himself 
— ^This  Chapter  will  be  found  either  the  worst  or  the 
best  of  Ralph's  confessions,  according  to  the  feelings  of 
the  reader  •....•       200 

Chap.  XVII. — Ralph  meets  with  old  friends  and  old  ene- 
mies, and  nearly  has  his  grog  stopped,  whilst  listening 
to  a  very  pleasant  discussion,  to.  which  he  is  an  un- 
willing party— He  has  a  something  to  thank  romance 
for 218 

Chap.  XVIII. — Ralph  appears  before  a  magistrate,  and 
proves  to  be  more  frightened  than  hurt,  though  fright- 
ened as  little  as  a  veritable  hero  should  be  —  A  great 
deal  of  fuss  about  a  little  dust,  not  kicked  up,  but  finally 
laid  down 231 

Chap.  XIX. — Ralph  begins  to  form  his  establishment, 
and  engages  a*  travelling  tutor  —  travelling  in  the  widest 
sense  of  the  word  —  Prepares  for  a  journey,  and  timor- 
ously knocks  at  the  door  of  an  old  friend  —  gets  re- 
pulsed; and,  finally,  gains  his  ends  by  showing  bis 
credentials,  which  means  something  very  like  showing 
fight 242 

Chap.  XX. — The  miseries  of  suspense  are  sometimes 
pleasingly  prolonged.  Ralph,  finding  himself  in  plea- 
sant places,  prepareth  a  love-speech,  which  is  not  ut- 
tered in  this  Chapter— Ralph  descrlbeth  only     .     255 

Chap.  XXI. — Ralph  beginneth  a    conversation  totally 


CONTENTS.  vii 

beyond  his  comprehensioD,  and  yet  comprehendetk  more 
than  the  conversation  is  meant  to  convey — He  feeleth 
some  inclination  towards  love-making,  but  checketh 
himself  valiantly 263 

Chap.  XXII. — The  veil  is  fast  dropping  from  before 
Ralph*s  mysterious  parentage  —  Strange  disclosures, 
and  much  good  evidence  that  this  is  a  very  bad 
world — Ralph's  love-making  symptoms  are  fast  sub- 
siding         273 

Chap.  XXIII. — Ralph  thinks  seriously  about  changing 
his  name  —  Gets  a  little  unwilling  justice  done  to  him- 
self, and  gains  much  information  —  The  whole  wound 
up  suddenly  and  sorrowfully    ....        284 

Chap.  XXIV. — Mr.  Pigtop  believeth  in  Ghosts,  and  hath 
some  trust  in  Witches,  but  none  at  all  in  Lawyers — A 
Consultation  after  supper,  and,  after  supper,  action  302 

Chap.  XXV. — The  concluding  Chapter,  in  which  at  least 
one  subject  is  dropped — At  length  get  into  my  inherit- 
ance according  to  law — that  is,  I  am  heir  to  three  law- 
suits— Discover  a  new  method  of  putting  down  Poach- 
ing— and  come  to  London  to  enact  the  character  of 
"  Celebs  in  Search  of  a  Wife"         ...        316 


fff 


■        -i 
I 


11 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 


CHAPTER  I. 


Ralph  deserteth  his  duty  —  All  for  love,  or  'Mhe  world 
well  lost,"  with  his  wits  into  the  bargain  —  Very  nice 
disqiuidtions  on  honour. 

Thb  sayez  tranquUle  of  Monsieur  Manuel 
had  but  a  transient  effect.  It  brought  no  con- 
adation  with  it.  What  I  had  heard  seemed  to 
clog  the  usual  healthy  beating  of  my  heart ;  my 
respiration  laboured,  and  I  fell  into  a  bitter 
reverie.  Tlie  profoundest  pity,  the  most  impas- 
sioned admiration,  and  the  most  ardent  desire  to 
afford  protection  -—are  not  these  the  ingredients 
that  make  the  all-potent  draught  of  love  ?     Let 

V^OL.  III.  B 


2  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

universal  humanity  "reply  —  I  loved.  But  the 
feeling,  generally  so  blissful,  came  upon  my 
young  heart,  and  steeped  it  in  the  bitterness  of 
apprehension.  My  bosom  was  swoUen  with 
big  resolves,  with  the  deepest  aflection  for  one, 
and  hate  for  all  the  rest  of  my  species ;  and  the 
thought  came  over  me  vividly,  of  flight  with  the 
young  and  pensive  beauty  into  the  inaccessibk 
seclusion  of  the  woods,  and  of  the  unalloyed 
happiness  and  the  imaginary  glories  of  a  savage 
life.  In  this  sudden  depression  of  spirits,  my 
mind  looked  not  loathingly  on  mutual  suicide. 
It  was  a  black  and  a  desponding  hour,  and  fell 
upon  me  with  the  suddenness  of  a  total  eclipse 
on  a  noontide  summer's  day. 

I  sat  with  my  clasped  hands  between  my 
knees,  and  my  head  hanging  upon  my  breast, 
almost  unconscious  of  the  black  servitors  around 
me,  who  were  re-ordering  the  room  that  I  had 
so  recently  disarranged.  I  noted  all  this  as 
something  that  did  not  belong  to  the  world  in 
which  I  had  existence.  Every  thing  aroimd  me 
seemed  the  shadows  of  somebody's  dream,  in 
which  I  had  no  part,  and  could  take  no  interest 


RATTLIN*  THE  REEFKR.  3 

I  had  but  two  all-absorbing  ideas;  and  these 
were  —  injustice  and  Josephine.  So  distraught 
was  I  with  the  vastness  of  the  one  and  with  the 
loveliness  of  the  other,  that,  when  the  young 
and  splendid  reality  stole  into  t;he  apartment 
softly,  and  moved  before  my  eyes  in  all  the  fas- 
^cination  of  her  gracefulness,  yet  was  I  scarcely 
conscious  of  the  actual  presence  of  her  whose 
ideal  existence  was  torturing  my  brain. 

To  the  cold,  the  unimpassioned,  or  the  un* 
poetical,  this  may  seem  impossible,  I  will  not 
go  into  metaphysical  reasonings  on  the  subject. 
I  only  know  that  it  was  true.  Whilst  I  was 
conceiving  her  flying  from  oppression  with  me, 
her  protector,  into  some  grim  soUtude,  she  came 
and  placed  herself,  almost  unnoticed,  by  my 
side,  took  my  unresisting  hands  between  her 
own,  and,  seeing  how  little  I  appeared  to  notice 
the  endearment,  she  gradually  sank  on  her 
knees  before  me,  and,  placing  her  forehead  upon 
my  hands,  remained  for  a  space  in  silence.  Feel- 
ing her  hot  tears  trickling  through  my  fingers 
called  me  back  from  my  dark  reverie :  and,  as  I 
became  aware  of  the  present,  a  sigh  so  deep  and 

b2 


4  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

SO  long  burst  forth,  and  it  seemed  to  rend  my 
bosom. 

Those  dark^  lustrous,  melancholy  eyes,  swim- 
ming in  tears,  were  then  lifted  up  to  mine.  Ages 
of  eloquence  were  contained  in  that  one  look. 
In  it  I  read  the  whole  story  of  her  life,  the 
depth  of  her  love,  the  fealty  of  her  faith,  and  the 
deep,  the  unspeakable  prayer  for  sympathy,  for 
love,  and  for  protection.  The  mute  appeal  was 
unanswerable.  It  seemed  to  be  conveyed  to  me 
by  the  voice  of  destiny ;  to  my  mind  louder 
and  more  awful  than  thunder.  At  that  moment 
I  pledged  myself  eternally  to  her ;  and,  gradually 
drawing  up  her  yielding,  light,  and  elastic  form 
from  my  knees  to  my  bosom,  I  sobbed  out, 
"\^niilst  I  breathe,  dearest,  thou  shalt  never 
writhe  under  the  lash  ;"  and  then,  giving  way  to 
an  uncontrollable  passion  of  weeping,  I  mingled 
my  tears  with  her's — and  we  were  happy.  Yes, 
our  young  love  was  baptized  with  tears — an 
ominous  and  a  fitting  rite.  We  cried  in  each 
other's  arms  like  children,  as  we  were  ;  at  first, 
with  anguish;  then,  with  hope  and  affection;  and, 
at  length,  in  all  the  luxury  of  a  new-bom  bliss. 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  5 

When  this  passion  had  a  little  subsided,  and 
smiles,  and  murmuring  ejaculations  of  happiness, 
had  driven  away  the  symbols  of  what  is  not 
always  anguish,  old  Manuel  aj^iroached,  and 
appeared  much  pleased  at  the  tokens  of  affec- 
tion that  we  mutually  lavished  upon  each  other. 
And  then,  with  my  arm  encircling  Josephine's 
slender  waist,  and  her  fiedr  face  upon  my  shoul- 
der, he  began  his  artful  discourse.  Gradually, 
he  led  me  to  speak  of  myself,  my  friends,  my 
views ;  and,  ultimately,  my  strange  and  myste- 
rious story  was  fully  unfolded.  Even  in  this 
prolonged  relation,  I  was  amply  rewarded  by 
the  impassioned  looks,  at  once  so  tender  and  so 
thrilling,  of  the  beauteous  Ustener  by  my  side, 
and  by  the  ready  tear  at  every  passage  that  told 
of  suffering;  the  fond  creature  still  creeping  more 
closely  to  me  at  every  instance  of  danger ;  and 
bright  the  beam  of  triumph  would  flash  from 
her  eye,  responsive  to  every  incident  of  my 
success. 

When  all  was  told,  and  half  wondering,  and 
faintly  smiling,  I  finished  by  the  rather  silly  ex- 
pression of  —  "  And  here  I  am,"  I  was  inmiedi- 


6  RATTLIN,  THE  RKBPKR. 

ately  imprisoned  in  the  anns  of  Josephine,  as 
she  pathetically  exclaimed,  ^'  and  for  ever !'' 

^^  Josephine  speaks  well,"  said  Manuel,  riang 
and  placing  patriarchally  a  hand  on  the  head  of 
each  of  us.  '^  My  children,  would  it  were  for  ever ! 
It  appears,  by  the  narrative,  that  Monsieur  has 
done  us  the  great  honour  to  relate  that  he  is  a 
castaway— -an  unowned  — and,  if  my  jroung 
friend  makes  use  of  all  the  wisdom  he  doubtkss 
possesses  in  so  high  a  degree,  he  will  join  us  in 
blessing  Providence,  that  has. given  the  gallant 
young  homeless  one  a  home ;  for  I  need  not  teU 
him  that  all  he  sees  around  is  his— the  land  and 
the  house,  and,  to  the  hitherto  unloved,  a  young 
and  tender  heart  that  will  cherish  him,  to  the 
fatherless  a  father/' 

And  thus  the  old  emigr4  concluded  his  speech, 
with  a  tear  glistening  in  his  eye— and  an  unex- 
ceptionable bow.  Had  he  flung  himself  into 
my  arms,  the  effect  would  have  been  complete. 
I  hate  to  record  scenes  of  this  sort;  but,  as  I  have 
imposed  the  task  upon  myself,  I  will  go  through 
it ;  and,  though  the  temptation  is  great,  seeing 
what  I  was  then,  the  disciple  as  well  as  the  off- 


RATTLIN^  THE  RBBFER.  7 

spring  of  romance,  and  what  I  now  am^  worldly 
in  the  world's  most  sordid  worldliness^  to  do  my 
penance  in  self-mockery-^for  the  sake  of  the 
young  hearts  still  unseared,  I  will  refigdn. 

I  was  exceedingly  affected  and  agitated  at  this 
appeal,  the  purport  of  which  I  could  not  mis- 
ipiderstand.    My  emotions,  at  first,  prevented 
me  from  speaking.    I  arose  from  the  sofa,  Jose- 
phine still  hanging    upon  my  shoulder,  and 
taking  her  fietther's  hand,  led  them  both  to  the 
window.    The  sun  was  near  the  horizon ;  and 
mountain,  sea,  and  green  valley,  and  dark  forest, 
were  steeped  in  a  roseate  glory.     About  three 
miles  distant,  and  beneath  us,  my  gallant  fngate 
sate  in  the  bosom  of  the  gently  rippling  waters, 
like  a  sultana  upon  her  embroidered  divan,  her 
ensign  and  her  pennant  streaming  out  fair  and 
free  to  the  evening  breeze.    I  pointed  to  her, 
and  with  a  voice  scarcely  articulate — for,  at  that 
period,  the  sob  would   rise  too  readily  to  my 
throat,  and  the  tear  start  too  freely  to  my  eye<— 
I  exclaimed — 

"  Behold  my  home  —  my  country  claims  the 
duty  of  a  son  !" 


8  <        RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

^^  Monsieur  knows  best,*'  said  Manuel,  almost 
coldly.  ^^  His  countrymen  have  conquered  us : 
yon  are  a  gallant  race,  undoubtedly,  but  one 
of  them  •has  not  shown  much  mercy  to  mj 
daughter." 

The  passionate  girl  was  at  my  feet  —  yes, 
kneeling  at  my  feet,  and  her  supplicating  hands 
were  clasped  in  that  attitude  of  hunulity  that 
is  due  only  to  God.  Who  taught  her  the  in- 
finite pathos  of  that  beautiful  posture  ?  Taught 
her!  She  had  no  teachers,  save  Nature  and 
Love. 

*^  Josephine,'*  said  I,  lifting  her  gently  up, 
and  kissing  her  fair  brow,  '^you  are  breaking 
ray  heart.  I  cannot  stand  this  —  I  must  rush 
out  of  the  house.  I  have  never  said  I  loved 
you." — (mean  subterfuge  !)     - 

"  But  you  do,  you  do  —  it  is  my  fate  —  it  is 
your's  -  for  three  years  I  have  heen  expecting 
you  —  disbelieve  me  not  —  ask  the  Obeah  wo- 
man. It  is  true," —  and  then,  hurrying  out  the 
words  like  the  downpouring  of  the  mountain 
torrent,  she  continued,  "  Do  you  love  me?  —  do 
you  love  me  ?— do  you  love  me  ?" 


RATTLIN,  TH£  REEFER.  9 

^^  I  do^  Josephine  —  I  do  distractedly  !  But 
stem  honour  stands  in  the  way." 

^^And  what  is  this  honour?''  she  exclaimed 
with  genuine  simpUcity ;  for  it  was  evident  that, 
if  she  had  ever  heard  the  word  before,  she  had 
not  the  remotest  idea  of  its  meaning:  ^^Et  quelle 
est  cette  hofmeur-li?*'  and  there  was  contempt 
in  her  tone. 

I  had  no  words  to  reply. 

**  Will  this  honour  do  that  for  you  which  my 
father — ^which  I — will  do  ?  What  has  this  honour 
done  for  him  ? — tell  me,  father.  Has  it  put  tliat 
gay  blue  jacket  on  him^  or  that  small  sword  by 
his  side  ?  Show  him,  my  dear  father,  the  rich 
dresses  that  we  have,  and  the  beautiful  arms. 
Will  honour  watch  you  in  your  hoiurs  of  sick- 
ness, take  you  out  in  the  noon- day  heats,  and 
show  you  the  cool  shady  places  and  the  refresh- 
ing rippling- springs?  What  is  this  honour,  that 
seems  to  bid  you  to  break  my  heart,  and  make 
me  die  of  very  grief?" 

"  Monsieur  Manuel,"  said  I,  extremely  con- 
fused, "  have  the  kindness  to  explain  to  dear 
Josepiiine  what  honour  is." 

b5 


10  RATTLIN,  THE  RKBFER. 

'^  A  rule  of  conduct^"  he  replied  witli  flefverity, 
^^  that  was  never  recorded,  never  understood,  and 
which  men  construe  just  as  suits  tiieir  conveni- 
ence.  One  honest  impulse  of  the  heart  is  worth 
all  the  honour  I  ever  heard  of/' 

This  was  a  delicate  helping  of  a  friend  in  a 
dilemma.  I  turned  for  relief  from  the  sarcastic 
father  to  the  beautiful  coimtenance  of  tiie  daugh- 
ter, and  I  there  beheld  an  expression  of  intense 
sorrow  that  agonized  me.  Her  sudden  and,  to 
me,  totally  unexpected  animation  had  disap- 
peared :  Melancholy  seemed  to  have  drooped  her 
darkest  wings  over  her.  I  thought  that  she 
must  soon  die  under  their  noxious  shadow.  For 
one  instant,  my  eyes  caught  her's :  I  could  not 
stand  the  appeal. 

"  I  will  stay,"  said  I  gently,  "  until  the  ship 
sails." 

I  had  then,  for  the  first  time,  to  witness  the 
enthusiasm  of  the  melancholy  temperament — the 
eloquence  of  unschooled  nature.  The  bending 
figure,  that  seemed  to  collapse  in  weakness  upon 
my  supporting  arm,  suddenly  flung  herself  from 
me  \  her  roimded  and  delicate  figure  swelled  at 


RATTLIN,  THE  REBFER.  1 1 

once  intosudden  dignity;  her  muscles  assumed  the 
rigidity,  3ret  all  the  softness  of  a  highly-polished 
Grecian  statue ;  and  stood  before  me,  as  if  by 
enchantment,  half  woman^  half  marble,  beautiful 
inexpressibly*  I  was  sorely  tried«  There  ¥ms 
no  action,  no  waving  of  the  anns,  as  she  spoke. 
Her  voice  came  forth  musically,  as  if  from 
some  sacred  oracle,  that  oracle  having  life  only 
in  words.  Monsieur  Manuel  had  very  wisely 
departed. 

^^  Not  an  hour  —  not  a  minute  —  not  an  in- 
stant, or — for  evert  Young  sir,  you  have 
already  staid  too  long,  if  you  stay  not  always. 
Leave  me  to  dream  of  you,  and  to  die.  The 
thorn  is  in  my  heart :  it  may  kill  me  gradually. 
Go.  Why,  sir,  have  you  looked  upon  me  as 
man  never  before  looked  ?  Why,  why  have  you 
mingled  your  false  tears  with  mine,  that  were  so 
true  —  and,  oh,  so  loving!  But  what^am  I, 
who  thus  speak  so  proudly  to  a  being,  whom,  if 
I  did  not  know  he  was  treacherous,  I  should 
think  an  angel?  (tm  dea  bona  esprUs).  I,  a 
poor,  weak,  ignorant  girl  of  colour  —  bom  of  a 
slave,  to  slavery  —  whose  only  ambition  was  to 


1 2  RATTLIK  •  4>HE  REEFCir. 

have  been  loved,  loved  for  a  short,  short  nvfaile— * 
for  know,  that  I  am  to  die  early  —  I  should  not 
have  troubled  you  long.  But  you  are  too  good 
for  me — I  was  a  presumptuous  fool.  Go,  and  at 
once^  and  take  with  you  bU  that  I  have  to 
give  —  the  blessing  of  a  young-bom  bonds* 
woman/* 

All  this  time  she  had  stood  firmly  and  nearly 
motionless,  with  her  hands  folded  beneath  her 
heaving  bosom,  at  some  distance  from  me.  I 
approached  her  with  extended  arms^jand  had 
some  such  foolish  rhapsody  on  my  tongue  as 
^^  Beautiful  daughter  of  the  sun,"  for  I  had  already 
contemplated  her  imder  a  new  character,  when, 
retreating  and  waving  me  from  her,  she  con- 
tinued— 

"  Already  too  much  of  this  —  let  me  die  by 
cruelty  rather  than  by  c{u*esses,  which  are  the 
worst  pf  cruelty,  I  feel  a  new  spirit  living  within 
me.  I  am  a  child  no  more.  Yesterday  I  should 
have  crouched  before  you,  as  one  degraded,  as 
I  ought  to  do.  You  have  pressed  me  to  your 
bosom — you  have  spoken  to  me  as  your  equal — 
even  your  tears  have  bathed  my  brow.     You 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  13 

have  ennobled  me.  Oh !  it  is  a  happiness  and 
a  great  glory.  I^  formerly  so  humble^  command 
you  to  go  — go,  dear,  dear,  Ralph.  You  wiU 
not  kill  me  quite  by  going  noiw^  therefore,  be 
generous,  and  go/' 

I  was  already  sufficiently  in  love,  and  began 
to  feel  ashamed  of  myself,  for  not  having,  as 
yet,  caught  a  little  of  her  enthusiasm. 

^^  Josephine,'^  said  I,  in  a  quiet,  serious  tone, 
"  give  me  your  hand."  I  took  it — it  was  deadly 
cold.  At  that  moment  all  her  best  blood  was 
rallying  round  her  young  heart.  I  led  her  to  the 
open  window,  and  showed  her  the  noble  frigate 
so  hateful  to  her  sight,  and  said,  ^^  Dear  Jose- 
phine, in  that  ship  there  are  more  than  three 
hundred  gallant  fellows,  all  of  whom  are  my 
countrymen,  and  some  of  them  my  familiar 
friends.  I  have  often  shared  with  them  danger, 
unto  the  very  jaws  of  death.  I  have  broken  my 
bread  with  some  of  them,  constantly,  for  nearly 
three  years.  These  £ire  all  claims  on  me :  you 
see  that  I  am  speaking  to  you  calmly.  I  had  no 
idea  what  a  little  impassioned  orator  you  were — 
do  not  look  so  dejected  and  so  humble.     I  love 


14  RATTLIN,  THE  REBPEtl. 

you  for  it  the  more.  I  only  made  the  remark  to 
convince  you  that  what  I  now  say  is  not  the  mere 
prompting  of  a  transient  impulse.  But,  Jose- 
phine,  in  my  own  tar-away  land,  1  have  also  a 
few  friends ;  nor  am  I  wholly  a  castaway ;  there 
is  a  mystery  about  my  origin,  which  I  wish  to 
dissipate,  yet  that  I  cherish.  If  I  conduct  my- 
self as  I  have  hitherto  done,  in  time  I  shall  have 
the  sole  control  and  government  of  a  vessel,  as 
proud  as  the  one  before  you,  and  of  all  the  noble 
Bpirits  it  will  contain.  The  mystery  of  which  I 
have  spoken  I  am  most  sanguine  wJil  be  cleared 
up ;  and  I  may,  peradventure,  one  day  take  my 
place  among  the  nobles  of  my  land,  as  it  now  is 
among  the  nobles  of  the  sea.  Weep  not  thus, 
my  love,  or  you  will  infect  me  with  emotiooa  too 
painful  to  be  borne.  Let  us  be  calm  for  a  little 
space.  The  reign  of  passion  will  commence  Boon 
enough.  Mark  me,  Josephine.  For  you — God 
forgive  me  if  I  commit  sin  1  —  for  you,  I  cast  off 
my  associates,  sever  all  my  ties  of  friendship,  let 
the  mysteiy  of  my  origin  remain  unravelled,  re- 
nounce the  land  of  my  birth — for  you,  I  encounter 
the  peril  of  being  hung  for  desertion.  Josephine, 


RATTLIK,  THE  RIEFER.  15 

you  will  incur  a  great  debt  — a  heavy  responsi- 
bility. My  heart,  my  happiness,  is  in  your 
hands.    Josephine,  I  stay.'' 

"Forever?*' 

**  For  ever ! "  A  wild  shriek  of  joy  burst  from 
her  delighted  lips,  as  she  leaped  to  my  bosom ; 
and,  for  the  first  time,  oxur  lips  sealed  the  myste- 
rious compact  of  love.  After  a  moment,  I  gently 
released  myself  from  the  sweet  bondage  of  her 
embrace,  and  said,  ^'  Dear  Josephine,  this  cannot 
be  to  me  a  moment  of  unalloyed  joy.  You  see 
the  Sim  is  half  below  the  horizon ;  give  me  one 
moment  of  natural  grief;  for,  so  surely  as  I  stay 
here,  so  surely,  like  that  orb,  are  all  my  hopes  of 
glory  setting,  and  for  ever.'*  And  the  tears 
came  into  my  eyes  as  I  exclauned,  "  Farewell, 
my  country — farewell,  honour — ^Eos,  my  gallant 
frigate,  fare  thee  well !" 

As  if  instinct  with  life,  the  beautiful  vessel 
answered  my  apostrophe.  The  majestic  thimder 
of  her  main-deck  gun  boomed  awfully,  and  me- 
thought  sorrowfully,  over  the  waters,  and  then 
bounded  among  the  echoes  of  the  distant  hills 
around  and  above  me,  slowly  dying  away  in  the 


RATTUN,  THB  REEFER. 


distant  mount^ns.     It  was  the  gun  wliich, : 
commodore,  was  fired  at  sunset. 

"  It  is  all  over,"  I  exclaimed.   "  I  liave  made 
my  election  —  leave  me  for  a  little  while  alone," 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  17 


CHAPTER  II. 

Ralph  falleth  into  the  usual  delusion  of  suppoidng  himself 
happy  —  wisheth  it  may  last  all  his  life^  making  it  a 
reality  —  As  yet  no  symptoms  of  it  dispelling ;  but  the 
brightest  sunset  may  have  the  darkest  night. 

She  bounded  from  me  in  a  transport  of  joy, 
shouting,  "  He  stays,  he  stays  !"  and  I  heard  the 
words  repeated  among  the  groupes  of  Negresses, 
who  loved  her ;  it  seemed  to  be  the  burthen  of  a 
general  song,  the  glad  realization  of  some  pro> 
phecy ;  for,  ere  the  night  was  an  hour  old,  the 
old  witch,  who  had  had  the  tuition  of  Josephine, 
had  already  made  a  mongrel  sort  of  hymn  of  the 
afhir,  whilst  a  circle  of  black  chins  were  wagging  . 
to  a  chorus  of 

"  Gk)ramity  good^  buclura  body  stays !" 

I  saw  no  more  of  Josephine  that  night.     The 
old  gentleman,  her  father,  joined  me  after  I  had 


18  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

been  alone  nearly  two  hours — two  hours,  I  as- 
sure the  reader^  of  misery. 

I  contemplated  a  courtship  of  Isome  decent  du- 
ration, and  a  legal  marriage  at  the  altar.  1  tried 
to  view  my  position  on  all  sides,  and  thus  to  find 
out  that  which  was  the  most  favourable  for  my 
mind's  eye  to  rest  upon.  It  was  but  a  disconso- 
late survey.  Sometimes  a  dark  suspicion,  that  I 
repelled  from  me  as  if  it  were  a  demon  whisper- 
ing murder  in  my  ear,  would  hint  to  me  the 
possibility  that  I  was  entrapped.  However,  the 
lights  that  came  in  with  Monsieur  Manuel  dis- 
sipated them  and  darkness  together.  He  be- 
haved extremely  well — gave  me  an  exact  account 
of  all  his  possessions,  and  of  his  ready  money, 
the  latter  of  which  was  greatly  beyond  my  ex- 
pectations, and  the  former  very  considerable. 

He  immediately  gave  me  an  undertaking,  that 
he  would,  if  I  remained  with  him,  adopt  me  as 
his  son,  allow  me  during  his  life  a  competency 
fit  to  support  me  and  his  daughter  genteelly,  and 
to  make  me  his  sole  heir  at  his  death.  This  un- 
dertaking bound  him  also  to  see  the  proper  do- 
cuments duly  and  legally  drawn  up  by  a  notary. 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  19 

80  as  to  render  the  conditions  of  our  agreement 
binding  on  both  parties.  We  then  spoke,  as 
&ther  and  son,  of  our  future  views.  We  were 
determined  to  leave  the  island,  immediately  we 
could  get  any  thing  like  its  value  for  the  planta- 
tion and  the  large  gang  of  Negroes  upon  it.  But 
where  go  to  then?  England? — ^my  desertion. 
France  ? — yes,  it  was  there  that  we  were  to  spend 
our  lives.  And  thus  we  speculated  on  future 
events,  that  the  future  never  owned. 

I  have  said  before  that,  during  the  whole  time 
that  I  was  in  the  navy,  I  never  was  intoxicated 
— and  never  once  swallowed  spirituous  liquors. 
Both  assertions  are  strictly  true.  This  me* 
morable  evening,  over  our  light  supper,  I  drank, 
perhaps,  two  glasses  of  claret  more  than  was 
my  wont  at  Captain  Reud's  table.  I  was  ex- 
cessively wearied,  both  in  mind  and  body. 
I  became  so  unaccountably  and  lethargically 
drowsy,  that,  in  spite  of  every  eflbrt  of  mme  to 
the  contrary,  I  fell  fisust  asleep  in  the  midst  of  a 
most  animated  harangue  of  the  good  Manuel, 
upon  the  various  perfections  of  his  lovely  daugh- 
ter— a  strange  subject  for  a  lover  to  sleep  upon  ; 


20  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

but  SO  it  was.     Had  Josephine's  nurse  and  the 

Obeah  woman  any  thing  to  do  with  it?  perhaps. 

They  are  skilful  druggers.     If  my  life,  and  the 

Uves  of  all  those  dearer  tome  than  life  itself,  had 

depended  upon  my  getting  up  and   walking 

across  the  room,  I  could  not  have  done  it.    How 

I  got  to  bed  I  know  not ;  but  I  awoke  in  the 

morning  in  luxuriant  health,  with  a  blushing 

bride  upon  my  bosom. 

And  then  ensued  days  of  dreamy  ecstacy ;  my 
happiness  seemed  too  great,  too  full,  too  over- 
flowing, to  be  real.  Every  thing  around  me 
started  into  poetry.  I  seemed  to  be  under  the 
direction  of  fairy  spirits  :  all  my  wants  were  cared 
for  as  if  by  invisible  hands.  It  appeared  to  me 
that  I  had  but  to  wish,  and  gratification  followed 
before  the  wish  was  half  formed.  I  was  passive, 
and  carried  away  in  a  trance  of  happiness.  1 
was  beset  with  illusions  j  and  so  intense  were  my 
feelings  of  raptiure,  mingled  with  doubt,  and  my 
blissful  distraction  so  great,  that  it  was  late  in 
the  day  before  I  noticed  the  dress  I  liad  on.  The 
light  and  broad-brimmed  planter's  hat,  the  snowy 
white  jecm  jacket  and  trowsers,  and  the  infinitely 


RATTLIN,  TflE  REEFER.  21 

fine  linen  shirt,  with  its  elaborately  laced  front, 
had  all  been  donned  without  my  noticing  the 
change  from  my  usual  apparel.  It  was  a  dress, 
from  its  purity  and  its  elegance,  worthy  of  a 
bridegroom.  I  learnt  afterwards,  that  Jose- 
phine's old  Negress-nurse  had,  with  many  and 
powerful  incantations  —  at  least,  as  powerful  as 
incantations  always  are  —  buried  under  six  feet 
of  earth  every  article  of  clothing  in  which  I  had 
first  entered  the  mansion. 

Well,  there  we  were,  a  very  pretty  version  of 
Paul  and  Virginia— not  perhaps  quite  so  inno- 
cent,  but  infinitely  more  happy,  roving  hand  in 
hand  through  orange  bowers  and  aromatic  shades. 
Love  is  sweet,  and  a  first  love  very,  very  de- 
lightful ;  but,  when  we  are  not  only  loved,  but 
almost  worshipped,  that,  that  is  the  incense  that 
warms  the  heart  and  intoxicates  the  brain. 
Wherever  I  turned,  I  found  greeting  and  smiles, 
and  respectful  observance  hovered  along  my  path. 
The  household  adored  their  yoimg  mistress,  and 
me  through  her. 

Old  Manuel  seemed  serenely  happy.  He  en- 
couraged us  to  be  alone  with   each  other.      I 


{ 


22  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

could  write  volumes  upon  the  little  incidents, 
and  interesting  ones  too,  of  this  singular  honey- 
moon. I  observed  no  more  bursts  of  passion  in 
Josephine ;  her  soul  had  folded  its  wings  upon 
my  bosom,  and  there  dreamed  itself  away  in  a 
tender  and  loving  melancholy.  How  I  now 
smile,  and  perhaps  could  weep,  when  I  call  to 
mind  all  her  little  artifices  of  love  to  prevent  my 
ever  casting  my  eyes  upon  the  hated  ship  I  As 
I  have  related  before,  our  little  squadron  at 
anchor  in  this  secluded  bay  departed  one  by 
one,  leaving  only  the  Eos,^  with  her  sorely* 
wounded  captain ;  yet,  though  I  saw  them  not, 
I  knew,  by  Josephine's  triumphant  looks,  when  a 
vessel  had  sailed.  All  the  jalousies  in  front  of 
the  house  were  nailed  up,  so  that,  if  by  chance 
I  wandered  into  one  of  the  rooms  in  that  quarter, 
1  saw  nothing. 

I  had  been  domesticated  in  this  paradise — a 
fool's,  perhaps,  but  still  a  paradise  —  a  month  ; 
and  I  was  sitting  alone  in  the  shade,  reading, 
behind  the  house,  when  Josephine  flew  along  the 
avenue  of  lemon-trees,  and  flung  herself  into  my 
arms,  and,  sobbing  hystericallyi  exclaimed,  ^  My 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  28 

dear^  dear  Ralph,  now  you  are  almost  wholly 
mine  !  there  is  only  one  left." 

"  And  that  one,  my  Josephine  ?" 

^^  Speak  not  of  it,  think  not  of  it,  sweet ;  it  is 
not  your*s.  But,  swear,  swear  to  me  again,  you 
will  never  more  look  upon  it ;  do,  dearest,  and  I 
will  learn  a  whole  column  extra  of  words  in  two 
syllables." 

And  I  repeated  the  often-iterated  oath ;  and 
she  sate  down  tranquilly  at  my  feet,  like  a  good 
little  girl,  and  began  murmuring  the  task  she 
was  committing  to  memory. 

And  how  did  the  schooling  get  on  ?  Oh ! 
beautifully;  we  had  such  sweet  and  so  many 
school-rooms,  and  interruptions  still  more  sweet 
and  numerous.  Sometimes,  our  hall  of  study  was 
beneath  the  cool  rock,  down  the  sides  of  which, 
green  with  age,  the  sparkling  rill  so  delight- 
fully trickled;  sometimes^  in  the  impervious, 
quiet^  and  flower-enamelled  bower,  amidst  all  the 
spicy  fragrance  of  tropical  shrubs;  and  sometimes 
in  the  solemn  old  wood,  beneath  the  boughs  of 
trees  that  had  stood  for  uncounted  ages.  And 
the  interruptions  !    Repeatedly  the  book  and  the 


24  RATTLl!*,  THE  XEEFER. 

slate  would  bn  cast  away,  and  ^e  wookt  start  up^ 
as  if  actuated  by  a  single  spirit,  and  chase  sotne 
ainguiai'ly  beautiful  hunumog-bird ;  sHnetimes, 
tlie  genius  of  frolic  would  seize  us,  and  we  would 
cliaw  each  other  round  and  round  the  old  maho- 
gany trees,  with  no  otiier  object  than  to  rid  our- 
Helves  of  our  exuberanc*  of  happiness  ;  but  the 
mo«t  frequent  inlerruptious  were  wlien  she  would 
clof«  her  booh,  and,  bathing  me  in  the  lustre  of 
her  melancholy  eyee,  bid  me  tell  her  some  tale 
tliat  would  make  her  weep:  or,  with  a  pious 
awe,  request  me  to  unfold  some  of  the  mysteries 
of  the  universe  around  her,  and  commune  with 
her  of  the  attributes  of  their  great  and  benefieeDt 
Creator. 

Was  not  this  a  state  of  the  supremest  hap- 
piness ?  Joy  seemed  to  come  down  to  me  from 
heaven  in  floods  of  light ;  the  earth  to  offer  up 
her  incense  to  me,  as  I  trod  upon  her  beautiful 
and  flower-encumbered  bosom;  the  richly-plu- 
maged  birds  to  hover  about  me,  as  if  ^nt  to  do 
me  homage ;  even  the  bouglis  of  the  majestic 
trees  as  1  passed  them  seemed  to  wave  to  me  a 
welcome.  Joy  was  in  me  and  around  me ;  there 


I 


RATTLIN,  THE  RSIPER. 


25 


was  no  pause  in  my  blissful  feelings.  I  required 
no  relaxation  to  enjoy  them  tlie  more  perfectly, 
for  pleasure  seemed  to  succeed  pleasure  in  infinite 
variety.  It  was  too  glorious  to  last.  The  end 
was  approaching,  and  that  end  was  very  bitter. 


vor..  111. 


c: 


26 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 


CHAPTER   III. 

A  short  chapter  aud  a  miserable  one — the  less  that  is  said 
of  it  the  better. 


I  had  been  living  in  the  plantation  nearly 
three  months.  My  little  wife,  for  such  I  held 
her  to  be,  had  made  much  progress  in  her  edu- 
cation—  more  in  my  affection  she  could  not. 
I  had  already  put  her  into  joining  hand ;  and 
I  began  to  be  as  proud  of  her  dawning  intellect 
as  I  was  of  her  person  and  of  her  love.  I  had 
renounced  my  country,  and,  in  good  faith,  I  had 
intended  to  have  held  by  her  for  ever;  and, 
when  I  should  find  myself  in  a  country  where 
marriage  with  one  bom  in  slavery  was  looked 
upon  as  no  opprobrium,  I  had  determined  that 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  27 

the  indissoluble  ceremony  should  be  legally  per- 
formed. To  do  all  this  I  was  in  earnest ;  but, 
events,  or  destiny,  or  by  whatever  high-sounding 
term  we  may  call  those  occurrences  which  force 
us  on  in  a  path  we  wish  not  to  tread,  ruled  it 
fearfuUy  otherwise. 

I  religiously  abstained  from  looking  towards 
the  ship,  or  even  the  sea ;  yet,  I  plainly  saw,  by 
the  alternations  of  hope,  and  joy,  and  fear,  on 
Josephine's  sweet  countenance,  that  something 
of  the  most  vital  importance  was  about  to  take 
place.  They  coidd  not  conceal  from  me  that 
parties  of  men  had  been  searching  for  me,  be- 
cause, for  a  few  days,  I  had  been  in  actual  hiding 
with  Josephine,  three  or  four  miles  up  in  the 
woody  mountain.  I  must  hurry  over  all  this  5 
for  the  recollection  of  it,  even  at  this  great  lapse 
of  time,  is  agonizing.  The  night  before  the  Eos 
sailed  she  would  not  sleep — her  incessant  tears, 
the  tremulous  energy  with  which  she  clasped  me 
and  held  me  for  hours,  all  told  the  secret  that  I 
wished  not  to  know.  All  that  night  she  watched, 
as  a  mother  watches  a  departing  and  a  first-bom 
child  —  tearfully  —  anxiously  —  but,  overcome 

c2 


28  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

with  fatigue,  and  the  fierce  contention  of  emo- 
tions as  the  morning  dawned,  her  face  drooped 
away  from  mine,  her  clasping  arms  graduallj 
relaxed,  and,  murmuring  my  name  with  a  bles- 
sing, she  slept.  Did  she  ever  sleep  again  ?  May 
God  pardon  me,  I  know  not ! 

I  himg  over  her,  and  watched  her,  almost 
worshipping,  until  two  hours  after  sunrise.  I 
blessed  her  as  she  lay  there  in  all  her  tranquil 
beauty,  fervently,  and,  instead  of  my  prayers, 
I  repeated  over  and  over  again  my  oath,  that 
I  would  never  desert  her.  But  some  devil,  in 
order  to  spread  the  ashes  of  bitterness  through 
the  long  path  of  my  after-life,  suggested  to  me 
that  now,  as  the  frigate  had  sailed  for  some  time, 
there  could  be  no  danger  in  taking  one  last  look 
at  her ;  indeed,  the  thought  of  doing  so  took  the 
shape  of  a  duty. 

I  stole  out  of  bed,  and  crept  softly  roimd  to 
the  front  of  the  house.  The  place  where  the 
gallant  ship  had  rode  at  anchor  for  so  many  weeks 
was  vacant — all  was  still  and  lonely.  I  walked 
on  to  a  higher  spot ;  and,  far  distant  among  the 
sinuosities  of  the  romantic  entrance  to  the  bar- 


RATTLIN»  THE  REEFER.  29 

bour,  my  eye  caught  for  a  moment  her  receding 
pennant.  I,  therefore,  concluded  that  every  thing 
was  safe  —  that  I  was  cut  off,  and  for  ever,  from 
my  country, 

A  little  qualm  of  remorse  passed  through  my 
bosom,  and  then  I  was  exceeding  glad.  The 
morning  was  fresh,  and  the  air  invigorating,  and 
I  determined  to  walk  down  to  the  beautiful 
nfinutely-sanded  beach,  and  enjoy  the  refresh- 
ment of  the  sea-breeze  just  sweeping  gently  over 
the  bay.  To  do  this  I  had  to  pass  over  a 
shoulder  of  land  to  my  left.  I  gained  the  beach, 
and  stood  upon  it  for  some  minutes  with  folded 
arms.  This  particular  walk  had  been  so  long 
debarred  to  me,  that  I  now  enjoyed  it  the  more. 
I  was  upon  the  point  of  turning  round  and 
seeking  the  nest  where  I  had  left  my  dove 
sleeping  in  conscious  security,  when,  to  my 
horror,  I  beheld  the  Eos's  pinnace,  full-manned 
and  double-banked,  the  wave  foaming  up  her 
cutwater,  and  roaring  under  her  sixteen  oars, 
rapidly  round  the  rocky  hummock  that  formed 
the  eastern  horn  of  the  little  bay.  Her  prow 
soon  tore  up  the  sand ;  and  the  third  lieutenant. 


30  RATTLIN,  THE  REKFBR. 

a  master's  mate,  and  the  officer  of  raarines,  with 
four  privates,  leaped  ashore  immediately. 

For  a  few  moments  1  was  paralysed  with 
terror,  and  then,  suddenly  springing  forward, 
I  ran  at  the  top  of  my  speed.  I  need  not 
say  that  my  pursuers  gave  chase  heartily.  I 
had  no  other  choice  but  to  run  on  straight  befiare 
me ;  and  that  unfortunately  was  up  a  nx:kyi 
rugged  side  of  a  steep  hill,  tliat  rose  directly 
from  the  beach,  covered  with  that  abominable 
vegetable,  or  shrub,  the  prickly  pear.  I  was  in 
full  view ;  and,  being  hailed,  and  told  that  I 
should  be  fired  upon  if  i  did  not  bring-to,  in  the 
space  of  a  short  three  minutes,  before  I  was  out 
of  breath,  I  was  in  the  hands  of  my  captors— 
a  prisoner. 

I  prayed  —  I  knelt  —  I  wept.  It  was  useless. 
1  have  scarcely  the  courage  to  write  what  then 
took  place,  it  was  so  fearful — it  was  so  hideous. 
Bounding  down  the  hill,  in  her  night-dress,  her 
long  black  hair  streaming  like  a  meteor  b^ind 
her,  and  her  naked  feet,  usually  so  exqui^tely 
white,  covered  with  blood,  came  Josephine, 
shrieking,  "  Ralph  I  Ralph  \ "  Her  voice  seemed 


,  ) 


lUTTLIN,  THK  REEiVR.  3 1 

to  stab  my  bosom  like  an  actual  knife.  Behind 
her  came  rmming  her  father,  and  a  number  of 
Negro  men  and  women*  Before  ahe  could  reach 
me,  they  had  flung  me  into  the  stem  sheets  of 
the  boat* 

"Shove  off!  shove  off!"  shouted  the  lieu- 
tenant, andthe  boat  was  immediately  in  motion. 
Like  a  convicted  felon,  or  a  murderer  taken  in 
the  fact,  I  buried  my  craven  head  in  my  knees, 
and  shut  my  eyes.  I  would  not  have  looked 
back  for  kingdoms.  But,  I  could  not,  or  did 
not,  think  of  preventing  myself  from  hearing. 
The  boat  had  not  pulled  ten  yards  from  the 
beach,  when  I  heard  a  splash  behind  us,  and 
simultaneous  cries  of  horror  from  the  boat's 
crew  and  those  on  shore ;  among  which  the 
agonized  voice  of  the  heart-broken  father  rose 
shrilly,  as  he  exclaimed,  "Josephine,  my  child  1" 
I  looked  up  for  a  moment,  but  dared  not  look 
round ;  and  I  saw  every  man  in  the  boat  dashing 
away  the  tears  from  his  eyes  with  one  hand,  as 
he  reluctantly  pulled  his  oar  with  the  other. 

"  Give  way  !  give  way  !  "  roared  the  lieu- 
tenant, stamping  violently  against  the  grating  at 


HATTLIN,  THE  REEFBB. 


M 


1 


his  feet.  "  Give  way !  or,  by  G — d,  she'll  over- 
take us ! " 

llie  poor  girl  was  Ewimming  after  me. 

"  Rattlin,"  said  Selby,  stooping  dcFwn  and 
whispering  in  my  ear,  "  Rattlin,  1  can't  stand  it  j 
if  it  was  not  as  much  as  my  life  was  worth, 
I  would  put  you  on  shore  directly."  I  could 
answer  him  only  by  a  long  convulsive  shudder. 
The  horrible  torment  of  those  moments  ! 

Then  ascended  tlie  loud  howling  curses  of 
the  Negroes  behind  us.  The  seamen  rose  up 
upon  their  oars,  and,  with  a  few  violent  jerks,  the 
pinnace  shot  round  the  next  point  of  land,  and 
the  poor  struggler  in  the  waters  was  seen  no  more. 
Tidings  never  after  came  to  me  of  her.  I  left 
her  struggling  in  the  waters  of  the  ocefm.  My 
first  love,  and  my  last  —  my  only  one. 

I  was  taken  on  board  stupified.  1  was  led  up 
the  side  like  a  sick  man.  No  one  reproached 
me ;  no  one  spoke  to  me.  I  became  physically, 
as  well  as  mentally,  ill.  I  went  to  my  hammock 
with  a  stem  feeling  of  joy,  hoping  soon  to  be 
lashed  up  in  it,  and  find  my  grave  in  the  deep 
blue  sea.     At  first,  my  only   consolation   was 


RATTLIN,  THE  RSBPER. 


33 


enacting  over  and  over  again  all  the  happy  scenes 
with  Josephine ;  but,  as  they  invariably  termi- 
nated in  one  dreadful  point,  this  occupation  be- 
came hateful.  I  then  endeavoured  to  blot  the 
whole  transaction  firom  my  memory — ^to  persuade 
myself  that  the  events  had  not  been  real  —  that 
I  had  dreamed  them — or  read  them  long  ago  in 
some  old  book.  But,  the  mind  is  not  so  easily 
cheated  —  remorse  not  so  soon  blinded. 


c5 


34  RATTLIN,  THE  REErER. 


CHAPITER  IV. 

The  Captain  taketh  to  tantrums — and  keepetb  on  board 
monkeys^  bears^  and  dbcipline.  It  is  feared,  also,  that 
the  moon  hath  too  much  to  do  with  his  observations. 

Notwithstanding  my  misery,  I  became  con- 
valescent. I  went  to  my  duty  doggedly.  Every 
body  saw  and  respected  my  grief  5  and  the  affair 
was  never  mentioned  to  me  by  any,  with  one 
only  exception,  and  that  was  six  months  after, 
by  a  heavy  brutal  master's  mate,  named  Kgtop, 
who  had  been  in  the  pinnace  that  brought  me  off. 

He  came  close  to  me,  and,  without  preparation, 
he  electrified  me  by  drawling  out,  "  I  say, 
Rattlin,  what  a  mess  you  made  of  it  at  Aniana  ! 
That  girl  of  your's,  to  my  thinking,  burst  a  blood- 
vessel as  she  was  giving  you  chase.  I  saw  the 
blood  bubble  out  of  her  mouth  and  nose," 


RATTLIN»  THE  REEFER.  35 

^'  Liar  1"  I  exclaimed,  and,  seizing  a  heavy 
block  that  one  of  the  afterguard  was  fitting,  1 
felled  him  to  the  deck. 

The  base-hearted  poltroon  went  and  made  his 
complaint  to  Captain  Keud,  who  ordered  him 
to  leave  the  ship  immediately  he  came  into  har* 
hour. 

We  must  now  retrograde  a  little  in  the  narra* 
tive,  in  order  to  show  what  events  led  to  the  dis- 
astrous catastrophe  I  have  just  related.  Captain 
Reud,  having  been  lying  for  many,  many  weeks, 
apparently  unconscious  of  objects  Ground  him, 
one  morning  said,  in  a  faint,  low  voice,  when 
Dr.  Thompson  and  Mr.  Farmer/  the  first  lieu- 
tenant, were  standing  near  hun,  «  Send  Ralph 
RattUn  to  read  the  Bible  to  me.'' 

Now,  since  my  absence,  some  supposed  I  had 
been  privately  stabbed  by  one  of  the  few  ferocious 
and  angry  marauders  still  left  in  the  town ;  but, 
as  no  traces  of  my  body  could  be  found,  still 
more  of  my  shipmates  believed  that  I  had  de- 
serted. In  plain  sincerity,  these  latter  friends  of 
mine  were,  as  our  Transatlantic  brethren  say, 
pretty  considerably,  slap-dashically  right.  How- 


36  HATTLIN,  THE 

erer,  as  the  shock  to  the  wounded  captain  would 
have  been  the  greater  to  say  that  I  had  been 
aEEassiDated,  they  chose  the  milder  alternative, 
and  told  him  tliat  "  they  feared  that  I  liad  d^ 
serted." 

Captain  Reud  merely  said,  "  I  don't  believe 
it,"  turned  his  face  to  the  bulkhead,  and  re- 
mained silent  for  tiiree  or  four  days  more.  Still, 
as  he  was  proceeding  towards  convalescence,  he 
began  to  be  more  active,  or,  rather,  ordered  n 
active  measures  to  he  taken  to  clear  up  tbe 
mystery  of  my  disappearance.  Parties  were  con- 
sequently sent  to  scour  the  country  for  miles 
round ;  but  I  was  too  well  concealed  to  permit 
them  to  be  of  any  utility.  The  only  two  sea- 
men that  had  seen  me  near  Manuel's  premises 
belonged  to  the  frigate,  which  had  sailed  before 
my  captain  had  recovered  his  Acuities. 

But  I  was  not  to  be  so  easily  given  up ;  per- 
haps he  remembered  that  what  remained  of  life 
to  him  was  preserved  by  me,  and,  notwithstand- 
ing his  cruel  usage,  1  well  knew  that  he  enter- 
tained for  me  a  sincere  affection.  As  the  Eos 
got  under  weigh,   after  remaining  so  long  at 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  37 

anchor  in  the  port,  that  the  men  observed  she 
would  shortly  ground  upon  the  beef-bones  that 
their  active  masticators  had  denuded  and  which 
were  thrown  overboard,  the  wind  was  light,  and 
the  boats  were  all  out  towing,  with  the  exception 
of  the  pinnace,  which  was  ordered  to  sweep 
round  the  bay  and  look  into  all  the  inlets,  in 
order  to  seek  for  some  vestige  of  my  important 
self.  For  good  or  for  evil,  the  heart-rending 
results  ensued. 

How  short  is  the  real  romance  of  life !  A 
shout  of  joy  —  a  pulsation  of  ecstasy  —  and  it  is 
over  !  In  the  course  of  my  eventful  life,  I  have 
seen  veryftedr  faces  and  very  many  beautiful  forms. 
The  fascinations  of  exterior  loveliness  I  have  met 
combined  with  high  intellect,  unswerving  princi- 
ples, and  virtuous  emotions,  awful  from  their  very 
holiness.  The  fiedr  possessors  of  many  of  these 
lofty  attributes  I  have  sometimes  wooed  and 
strove  to  love ;  but,  though  I  often  sighed  and 
prayed  for  a  return  of  that  heart-whole  and  ab- 
sorbing passion,  there  was  no  magic,  no  charm,  to 
call  the  dead  embers  into  life.  That  young  and 
beautiful  savage  swept  from  my  bosom  all  the 


S9  mATTUN,  THE  ■£>*«. 

Un^em  stuff :  she  eollvcted  the  &ceb  flowers  of  j 

pMsiwi,  and  left it  is  of  do  consequence—  I 

Josephine,  brewell. 

Let  us  talk  idly.  It  is  a  droU  wmfd :  let  w  | 
mock  each  other,  and  call  it  mirth.  1^)679  is  coy  ■ 
poor  half-deranged  captain  catting  mth  mties 
that  even  authority  with  the  two-edged  nwnd 
in  his  hand  cannot  repress  the  outininting'  of 
ignoble  derision.  Firet  of  all,  he  takes  a  mania 
fur  apes  and  monkers ;  disrates  ail  his  mid^p- 
men,  taking  care,  however,  that  they  still  do  ' 
their  duty ;  and  makes  the  ship's  tailor  rig  out 
their  succeesorB  in  uniform.  TTie  officers  are 
aghast,  for  the  maniac  is  bo  cimning,  and  the 
risk  of  putting  a  superior  officer  under  an  arrest 
Eo  tremendous,  that  they  know  not  wliat  to  do. 
Besides,  their  captain  is  only  mad  on  one  subject 
at  one  time.  Indeed,  insanity  seems  sometimes  to 
find  a  vent  in  monomania,  actually  improving  all 
the  faculties  on  all  other  points.  Well,  tiie  monkey 
midshipmen  did  not  behave  very  correctly ;  so. 
Captain  Reud  had  them  one  forenoon  all  tied  up 
to  one  of  his  guns  in  tlie  cabin,  and,  one  after  the 
other,  well  flogged  with  the  cat-a*-nine-tails.    It 


i'  I 


RATTLIN,  THE  REBnUL  39 

was  highly  ludicrous  to  see  tiie  poor  fellows 
waiting  each  for  his  turn,  well  knowing  what  was 
to  come ;  they  never,  than  when  under  the  im- 
pression oftheir  fears,  looked  more  human.  That 
night  they  stole  into  the  cabin,  by  two  and  three, 
in  the  dead  of  the  night,  and  nearly  murdered 
their  persecutor.  This  looked  very  like  com- 
bination, and  a  exercise  of  faculties  that  may  be 
nearly  termed  reasoning. 

ITiey  were  all  thrown  overboard.  The  next 
phantasy  was  the  getting  up  of  the  forecastle  car* 
ronades  into  the  tops,  thereby  straining  the  ship 
and  nearly  carrying  away  the  masts.  That  folly 
wore  out,  and  the  guns  came  down  to  their 
proper  places.  Then  a  huge  bear  came  on  board 
—  a  very  gentlemanly,  dignified  fellow  j  never 
in  a  hurry,  and  who  always  moved  about  with  a 
gracious  deliberation.  Captain  Reud  amused 
himself  by  endeavouring  to  teach  him  to  dance ; 
and  a  worthless  blackguard  who  could  play  on 
the  pipe  and  tabor,  and  who  probably  had  led  a 
bear  about  the  country,  was  taken  into  especial 
grace  and  was  loaded  with  benefits,  in  order  to 
assist  his  captain  in  his  singular  avocations. 


40  RATTUN,  THE  REEFER. 

"  Come  and  see  my  bear  dance,  do  come  and 
see  him  dance,"  was  now  thfs  little  Creole's  con- 
tinual cry.  But  the  bear  did  not  take  hU  tui- 
tion kindly,  and  grew  daily  more  ferocious ;  til], 
at  length,  seizing  liis  opportunity,  he  caught  up 
the  diminutive  skipper  and  nearly  hugged  the 
breatli  out  of  his  body,  and  almost  rubbed  his 
red  nose  oflf  his  yellow  face  in  endeavouring  to 
bite  him  through  his  muzzle.  Tlie  star  of  Ursa 
Major  was  no  longer  in  the  ascendant,  and  he 
was  bartered  away,  with  the  master  of  the  first 
merchant  vessel  we  met,  for  a  couple  of  game- 
cocks }  and  the  bear-leader  was  turned  back  into 
the  waist,  and  flogged  the  next  day  for  imperti- 
nence, whilst,  two  days  before,  the  vagabond  was 
too  proud  to  say  "  sir"  to  a  middy. 

But  it  would  be  ridiculous  to  enumerate  the 
long  succession  of  these  insane  whimBica]itie8,eaeh 
later  one  being  more  bizarre  than  the  preceding. 

\^'hether  man  be  mad  or  not,  Christmas  will 
come  round  again.  Now,  Jack,  from  time  im- 
memorial, thinks  that  he  has  a  right  undeniable 
to  get  drunk  on  that  auspicious  day.  In  har- 
bour, that  right  is  not  discussed  by  his  officers, 


.'.'  *^ 


R/iTTLIN,  THE  REEFER*  41 

but  is  usually  exercised  sub  nlentio  under  their 
eyes,  with  every  thing  but  silence  on  the  part  of 
the  exercisers.  Even  at  sea,  without  the  ship  be 
in  sight  of  the  enemy,  or  it  blows  hard  enough 
to  blow  the  ship's  coppers  overboard,  our  friends 
think  it  hard,  very  hard,  to  have  their  cups 
scored  next  morning  upon  their  back;  and, 
indeed,  to  keep  all  a  frigate's  crew  from  intoxi- 
cation on  a  Christmas-day  would  be  something 
like  undertaking  the  labour  of  Sysiphus,  for,  as 
fast  as  one  man  could  be  frightened  or  flogged 
into  sobriety,  another  would  become  glorious. 

It  was  for  this  very  reason  that  Captain  Reud,. 
the  Christmas-day  after  he  had  received  his 
wound,  undertook  the  task ;  and,  as  the  weather 
was  fine,  he  hoped  to  find  it  not  quite  so  hard 
as  rolling  a  stone  up  a  steep  hill,  and  invariably 
seeing  it  bound  down  again  before  it  attains 
the  coveted  summit.  Immediately  after  break- 
fast, he  had  the  word  passed  fore  and  aft  that  no 
man  should  be  dnmk  that  day,  and  that  six 
dozen,  (not  of  wine),  would  be  the  reward  of  any 
who  should  dare,  in  the  least,  to  infringe  that 
order*    WTiat  is  dnmkenness  ?    What  it  is  we 


43  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

can  readily  pronounce,  when  we  see  a  man  under 
its  revolting  phases.  What  is  not  drunkenness 
is  more  hard  to  say.  Is  it  not  difficult  to  ascer- 
tain the  nice  line  that  sepitt^tes  excitement  from 
incipient  delirium?  Not  at  all,  to  a  man 
like  Captain  Reud.  To  understand  a  disease 
thoroughly,  a  physician  will  tell  you  that  you 
will  be  much  assisted  by  the  having  sufieied 
fix)m  it  yourself.  Upon  this  self-evident  prin- 
ciple, our  ^Esculapius  with  the  epaulettes  was 
the  first  man  drunk  in  the  ship.  After  din- 
ner that  day,  he  had  heightened  his  testing 
powers  with  an  unusual,  even  to  him,  share  of 
claret. 

Well,  at  the  usual  time,  we  beat  to  quarters ; 
that  is  always  done  just  before  the  hammocks 
are  piped  down ;  and  it  is  then  that  the  sobriety 
of  the  crew,  as  they  stand  to  their  guns,  is  nar- 
rowly looked  into  by  the  respective  officers ;  for 
then  the  grog  has  been  served  out  for  the  day, 
and  it  is  supposed  to  have  been  all  consumed. 
The  captain,  of  course,  came  on  the  quarter- 
deck to  quarters,  making  tack  and  half  tack, 
till  he  fairly  threw  out  his  starboard  grappling 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  43 

iron,  and  moored  himself  to  mie  of  the  belay- 
ing-pins  roimd  the  mizen-mast. 

^*  Mister  Farmer,"  said  he  to  the  first  hiff, 
'*  you  see  I  know  how  to  keep  a  ship  in  disci- 
pline— not  (hiccup)  a  man  drunk  on  board  of 
her." 

^^  I  doubt  it,  sir,"  was  the  respectful  answer. 
"  I  think,  sir,  I  can  see  one  now,"  said  he,  tak- 
ing his  eyes  off  his  superior,  after  a  searching 
glance,  and  looking  carelessly  around. 

"Where  is  he?" 

"  Oh,  sir,  we  must  not  foiget  that  it  is  Christ- 
mas-day: so,  if  you  please,  sir,  we  will  not 
scrutinize  very  particularly." 

"  But  we  will  8eru*-Hscrutinize  very  particu- 
larly :  remember  me  of  scru — scrutinize.  Mister 
Rattlin^-  a  good  word  that  scru  —  screws  — 
trenails  -—  tenpenny  nails  —  hammers  —  ircHi- 
clamps,  and  dog-&stenings — ^what  were  we  talk- 
ing about,  Mr.  Farmer  ?  Oh  i  sobriety !  we 
wiU — assuredly  (hiccup)  find  out  the  drunken 


man." 


So,  with  a  large  cortege  of  officers,  the  master- 
at-arms,  and  the  ship's  corporals,  Captain  Reud 


44  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

leaning  his  right  arm  heavily  upon  my  left  shoul* 
der — for  he  was  cunning  enough,  just  then,  to 
find  that  the  gout  was  getting  into  his  foot — we 
proceeded  round  the  ship  on  our  voyage  of  dis- 
covery.  Now,  it  is  no  joke  for  a  man  lialf  drunk 
to  be  tried  for  drunkenness  by  one  whoUy  so. 
It  was  a  curious  and  a  comic  sight,  that  exami- 
nation— for  many  of  the  examined  were  conscious 
of  a  cup  too  much.    '^These  invariaUy  endea« 
voured  to  look  the  most  sober.  As  we  approached 
the  various  groupes  around  each  gun,  the  differ- 
ent artifices  of  the  men  to  pass  muster  were  most 
amusing.     Some  drew  themselves  stiffly  up,  and 
looked  as  rigid  as  iron-stanchions ;  others  took 
the  examination  with  an  easy,  debonnair  air,  as 
if  to  say,  '^  Who  so  innocent  as  I  ?  "   Some  again, 
not  exactly   liking  the  judge,  quietly  dodged 
round,  shifting  places  with  their  shipmates,  so 
that  when  the  captain  peered  into  the  eyes  of  the 
last  for  the  symptoms  of  ebriety,  the  mercurial 
rascals  had  quietly  placed  themselves  first. 

To  the  sharp,  startling  accusation,  "  You  are 
drunk,  sir,"  the  answers  were  beautifully  vari- 
ous.     The  indignant  "  No,  sir !  " — the  well- 


RATTLIM,  THE  RBEPER.  4$ 

acted  surprise,  **  I,  sir  ?  "^— the  conciliatory  **  God 
bless  jrour  honour,  no,  sir  1  '* — the  logical  "  Bill 
Bowling  was  cook  to-day,  sir,*' — and  the  sarcas* 
tic,  **  No  more  than  your  honour's  honour,*'  to 
witness,  were,  as  we  small  wits  say,  better  than 
a  play. 

The  search  was  almost  unavailing.  The  only 
fish  that  came  to  thenet  was  apoor  idiotic  young 
man,  that,  to  my  certain  knowledge,  had  not 
tasted  grog  for  months ;  for  his  messmates  gave 
him  a  hiding  whenever  he  asked  for  his  allow- 
ance. To  the  sudden  "  You're  drunk,  sir,**  of 
Captain  Reud,  the  simple  youth,  taken  by  sur* 
prise,  and  perhaps  thinking  it  against  the  arti- 
cles of  war  to  contradict  the  captain,  said,  '^  Yes, 
sir ;  but  I  haven't  tasted  grog  since——*' 

'^  You  got  drunk,  sir ;  take  him  aft,  master- 
at-arms,  and  put  him  in  irons.** 

The  scrutiny  over,  our  temperate  captain  went 
aft  himself,  glorifying  that,  in  all  the  ship's  com- 
pany, there  was  only  one  instance  of  intoxica- 
tion on  Christmas-day ;  and  thus  he  delivered 
himself,  hiccuping,  on  the  gratifying  occasion.— 

•*  I  call  that  discipline,  Mr.  Farmer.     The 


M  RA.TTUN,  THE  REEFER. 

onT?  flniaken  man  in  his  Majesty's  veasel  undw  i 
my  command,  aft  on  the  poop  in  irons,  and  that  I 
follow  not  worth  his  salt." 

*'I  quite  agree  with  you,"  eaitl  the  sneering 
pureer,  "  that  tlie  only  fellow  who  has  darol  ti 
get  disgracefully  drunk  to-day  is  not  worth  hie 
salt,  but  he  is  not  in  irons,  aft  on  the  poop." 

"  i  am  sure  he  is  not,"  said  the  &nt  lieute-  j 
nant. 

"Tliat  is  as — astoaieliing,"  said  the  mystified  I 
oxtii-pator  of  intemperance,  as  he  staggered  into  ' 
his  cabin,  to  console  himself  for,  and  to  close  his 
labours  with,  the  two  other  bottles. 

The  reader  will  perceive,  from  these  incidents, 
that  it  was  time  that  Captain  Reud  retired  to 
enjoy  his  laur^  on  his  loium  natale,  in  otium 
cum  as  much  dignitale  as  would  conduce  to  the 
happiness  of  one  of  his  mischief- loving  tempera- 
ment. The  admiral  on  the  station  thought  so 
too,  when  Reud  took  the  ship  into  Port  Koyal. 
He  superseded  the  black  pilot,  and  took  upon 
himself  to  con  the  ship ;  the  consequence  was, 
that  she  hugged  the  point  so  closely,  that  she 
went  right  upon  the  church  steeple  of  old  Port 


I 


» 


RATTLIN*  THE  REBFER.  47 

Royal^  which  is  very  quietly  lying  beside  the 
new  one^  submerged  by  an.  earthquake,  and  a 
hole  was  kiu)cked  in.  the  shiji^s  forefoot,  of  that 
large  and  miinous  descriptioiii  which  may  be 
aptly  compared  to  the  hole  in  a  patriot's  reputa* 
tion,  who  has  lately  taken  office  with  his  quondam 
opponents.  With  all  the  efforts  of  all  the  fleet, 
who  sent  relays  of  hands  on  board  of  us  toworii 
the  pimips,  we  could  not  keep  her  afloat^  so 
we  were  obliged,  first  putting  a  thrummed  sail 
under  her  bottom,  to  tow  her  alongside  of  the 
dock-yard  wharf,  lighten  her,  and  lash  her  to  it. 
The  same  evening,  by  nine  o'clock,  she  had 
an  empty  hull,  and  all  the  ship's  company  and 
officers  were  located  in  the  dock- yard,  and  pre- 
parations were  made,  the  next  day,  for  heaving 
the  frigate  down.  It  was  the  opinion  of  every 
body  that,  had  not  our  skipper  been  the  nephew 
of  the  very  high  official  of  the  Admiralty,  he 
would  liave  been  tried  by  a  court-martial,  for 
thus  attempting  to  overturn  submarine  churches, 
and  cracking  the  bottom  of  his  majesty's  beauti- 
ful  frigate.  As  it  was,  we  were  only  ordered  to 
be  repaired  with  all  haste,  and  to  go  home,  very 


EATTLIK,  THE  REETCB. 


much  indeed  to  the  satis&etioo  of  every  body  but 
the  captain  bims^, 

A^  I  never  intcDded  this  to  be  a  nwre  journal 
of  laj  life,  I  have  ofnittal  a  muhiplici^  c^  occur- 
rences highly  interesting  in  tbemaelves,  but 
which,  if  they  were  related,  would  swell  the 
work  to  a  small  library- ;  as  they  were  not  imtne* 
diately  personal  to  myself,  I  have  omitted  evea 
to  enumerate  thetn. 


1 


1 


■ 


RATTLIN,  TH£  REEF£R. 


49 


CHAPITER  V. 

A  fever  case,  and  a  potion  ^(  love,  if  not  altogether  a 
love-potion — What  are  the  doctors  about  when  men 
die  despite  of  their  knowledge,  and  are  cured  without 
it  ?    Ralph  knoweth  not. 

However,  1  must  retrograde.  It  may  seem 
surprising  that  I  have  made  so  little  mention  of 
my  messmates,  for  it  would  seem  that,  to  a  mid- 
shipman, the  affiEiirs  and  characters  of  midship, 
men  would  be  paramount.  To  me  they  were 
not  so,  for  reasons  t^at  I  have  before  stated. 
Besides,  our  berth  was  like  an  eastern  caravan- 
sary, or  the  receiving-room  of  a  pest-house. 
They  all  died,  were  promoted,  or  went  into  other 
ships,  excepting  two,  and  myself,  who  returned 
to  England.    It  n^ust  not  be  supposed  that  we 

VOL.  III.  D 


50  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

were  without  young  gentlemen  5  sometimes  we 
had  our  full  complement,  sometimes  half.  Fresh 
ones  came,  and  they  died,  and  so  on.  Before  I 
had  time  to  form  friendships  with  them^  or  to 
study  their  characters,  they  took  their  long  sleqp 
beneath  the  palisades,  or  were  thrown  overboard 
in  their  hammocks.  This  was  much  the  case 
with  the  wardroom  officers.  The  first  lieutenant, 
the  doctor,  and  the  purser,  were  the  only  original 
ones  that  returned  to  England  with  us.  The  mor- 
tality among  the  assistant- surgeons  was  dread- 
ful ;  they  messed  with  us.  Indeed,  I  have  no 
recollection  of  the  names,  or  even  the  persons  of 
the  majority  of  those  with  whom  I  ate,  and  drank, 
and  acted,  they  being  so  prone  to  prove  this  a 
transitory  world. 

We  were  tolerably  healthy  till  the  capture  of 
St.  Domingo ;  when,  being  obliged  to  convey  a 
regiment  of  French  soldiers  to  the  prisons  at 
Port  Royal,  they  brought  the  fever  in  its  worst 
form  on  board,  and,  notwithstanding  every  re- 
medial measure  that  the  then  state  of  science 
could  suggest,  we  never  could  eradicate  the  germs 
of  it.    The  men  were  sent  on  board  of  a  hulk, 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  51 

the  vessel  thoroughly  cleansed  and  ftmiigated, 
and,  finally,  we  were  ordered  as  fiu:  north  as  New 
Providence;  but  all  these  means  were  ine£fec- 
tual,  for,  at  intervals,  nearly  regular,  the  fever 
would  again  appear,  and  men  and  officers  die. 

Hitherto,  I  had  escaped.  The  only  attack  to 
which  I  was  subjected  took  place  in  the  capstan- 
house,  for  so  the  place  was  called  where  we  were 
bivouacked  during  the  heaving  down  of  the  ship. 
I  record  it,  not  that  my  conduct  under  the  disease 
may  be  imitated,  but  on  ^account  of  the  singu- 
larity of  the  access,  and  the  rapidity  of  the  cure. 

I  had  to  tow,  from  Port  Royal  up  to  Kingston, 
a  powder-hoy,  and,  through  some  misconduct  of 
the  cockswain,  the  boat's  awning  had  been  left 
behind.  Six  or  seven  hours  under  a  sun,  vertical 
at  noon,  through  the  hottest  part  of  the  day,  and 
among  the  swamps  and  morasses,  so  luxuriant  in 
vegetable  productions,,  that  separate  Port  Royal 
from  Kingston,  is  a  good  ordeal  by  which  to  try 
a  European  constitution.  For  the  first  time,  my 
stamina  seemed  inclined  to  succumb  before  it. 

When  I  returned  to  Port  Royal,  at  about  four 
in  the  afternoon,  the  first  peculiar  sensation  with 

D  2 


52  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

which  I  was  attacked  was  a  sort  of  slipping  of 
the  ground  from  under  me  as  I  trod^  and  a  no^ 
tion  that  I  could  skim  along  the  sur£E|ce  of  the 
earth  if  I  chose^  without  using  my  l^s.     Then  I 
was  not^  as  is  most  natural  to  a  &sting  midship* 
man^  excessively  hungry^  but  excessively  jocular. 
So,  instead  of  seeking  good  things  to  put  into 
my  mouthy  I  went  about  dispensing  them  horn 
out  of  it.     I  soon  began  to  be  sensible  that  I 
was  talking  much  nonsense,  and  to  like  it.     At 
length,  the  little  sense  that  I  had  still  left  was  good 
enough  to  suggest  to  me  that  I  might  be  distin- 
guished by  my  first  interview  with  that  king  of 
terrors,  Saffron-crowned  Jack.     "  Shall  I  go  to 
the  doctor?  *'  said  I.     "No — I  have  the  great- 
est opinion  of  Doctor  Tliompson — ^but  it  is  a 
great  pity  that  he  cannot  cure  the  yellow  fever. 
No  doubt  he'll  be  offended,  and  we  are  the  great- 
est  of  friends.     But,  I  have  always  observed, 
that  all  those  who  go  to  the  doctor  begin  going 
indeed — for,  from  the  doctor,  they  invariably  go 
to  their  hammocks — from   their  hanmiocks  to 
the  hospital — and  from  the  hospital  to  the  pali- 
sades."    So,  while  ^ere  was  yet  time,  I  decided 


RATTLIN,  THE  REBFER.  53 

to  go  in  quite  an  opposite  direction*  I  went  out 
of  the  dock-yard  gates,  and  to  a  nice,  matronly, 
free  mulatto,  who  was  a  mother  to  me — ^and 
something  more.  She  was  a  woman  of  some 
property,  and  had  a  very  strong  gang  of  young 
N^roes,  that  she  used  to  hire  out  to  his  Majesty, 
to  work  in  his  Majesty's  dock-yard,  imd  permit, 
for  certain  considerations,  to  caulk  the  sides  and 
bottoms  o{  his  Majesty's  vessels  of  war« 

Notwithstanding  this  intimate  connexion  be- 
tween his  Majesty  and  herself,  she  did  not  dis- 
dain to  wash,  or  cause  to  be  washed,  the  shirts 
and  stockings  of  his  Majesty's  officers  of  the 
navy ;  that  is,  if  she  liked  those  officers.  Now, 
«he  was  kind  enough  to  like  me  exceedingly; 
and,  though  very  pretty,  and  not  yet  very  old, 
all  in  a  very  proper  and  platonic  manner.  She 
was  also  a  great  giver  of  dignity  balls,  and,  when 
she  was  full  dressed.  Miss  Belinda  Bellarosa  was 
altogether  a  very  seductive  personage.  A  war- 
rant officer  was  her  abomination.  She  had  re- 
fused the  Imnds  of  many  master's  mates,  and  I 
knew  "  for  true,"  to  use  her  own  bewitching 
idiom,  that  several  lieutenants  had  made  her  the 
most  honourable  overtures. 


54  RATTLTN,  THE  REGFER. 

Well,  to  Miss  Belinda  I  made  the  best  of  my 
way.  I  am  choice  in  my  phrases.  I  could 
hardly  make  my  way  at  all,  for  a  strange  sort  of 
delirimn  was  supervening.  Immediately  she  saw 
me,  she  exclaimed,  ^^  Ah,  Goramity !  him  catcbed 
for  sure — it  break  my  heart  to  see  him.  You 
know  I  lub  Massa  Rattlin,  like  my  own  picca- 
ninny.    S  'elp  me  God,  he  very  bad  !  " 

"  My  queen  of  countless  Indians !  dear  duch* 
ess  of  doubloons !  marry  me  to-night,  and  then 
you'll  be  a  jolly  widow  to-morrow  1 " 

"  Hear  him  1  him  !  how  talk  of  marry  me  ?  " 

"  Oh  !  Bella,  deeur,  if  you  will  not  kill  me  with 
kindness,  what  shall  I  do  ?  I  cannot  bear  this 
raging  pain  in  my  head.  You've  been  a  kind 
soul  to  me.  Pardon  my  nonsense,  I  could  not 
help  it.  Let  one  of  your  servants  help  me  to 
walk  to  the  doctor." 

"  Nebber,  nebber,  doctor  !  ^  and  she  spat  up- 
on the  floor  with  a  sovereign  contempt.  "  Ah, 
Massa  Ralph,  me  lub  you  dearly  —  you  sleep 
here  to-night — ^me  lose  my  reputation — neb- 
ber mind  you  dat.  What  for  you  no  run,  Dor- 
cas, a  get  me,  from  Massa  Jackson^s  store,  bottle 
good  port  ?     Tell  him  for  me.  Missy  Bellarotwu 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  55 

You  Phoebe,  you  oder  woman  of  colour  dere, 
why  you  no  take  Massa  Ralph,  and  put  him  in 
best  bed  ?  Him  bad,  for  certainly — make 
haste,  or  poor  Buckra  boy  die." 

So,  with  the  assistance  of  my  two  dingy  hand- 
maidens,  I  was  popped  into  bed,  and,  according 
to  the  directions  of  my  kind  hostess,  a  suffocating 
number  of  blankets  heaped  upon  me.  Shortly 
afterwards,  and  when  my  reeling  senses  were 
barely  sane  enough  to  enable  me  to  recognise  ob- 
jects, my  dear  doctress,  with  two  more  Negresses, 
to  witness  to  her  reputation,  entered,  and  putting 

m 

the  bottle  of  port,  with  a  white  powder  floating 
at  the  top  of  it,  into  a  china  bowl,  compelled  me 
to  drink  off  the  whole  of  it.  Then,  with  a  look 
of  great  and  truly  motherly  affection,  she  took 
her  leave  of  me,  telling  the  two  nurses  to  put 
another  blanket  on  me,  and  to  hold  me  down  in 
the  bed  if  I  attempted  to  get  out. 

Then  began  the  raging  agony  of  fever.  I  felt 
as  one  mass  of  sentient  fire.  I  had  a  foretaste 
of  that  state  which,  I  hope,  we  shall  all  escape, 
save  one,  of  ever  burning  and  never  consuming ; 
but,  though  monients  of  such  suffering  tell  upon 


56  rattlin,  the  reefer. 

the  wretch  vritli  the  duration  of  ages,  this  diJ 
not  last  more  tlian  lialf  an  hour,  when  they  be- 
came exchanged  for  a  dream,  the  most  singular, 
and  that  never  will  be  forgotten  whilst  memory 
can  offer  me  one  single  idea. 

Methought  that  I  was  suddenly  wliisked  out  ' 
of  bed,  and  placed  in  the  centre  of  an  intermi- 
nable plain  of  sand,  It  bounded  tlie  liorizoulike 
a  level  se&:  nothing  was  to  be  seen  but  tht* 
whit«  and  glowing  sand,  the  intense  blue  and  i 
cloudless  sky,  and,  directly  above  me,  the  eternal  ' 
eun,  like  the  eye  of  an  angry  God,  pouring  down 
intolerable  fires  upon  my  unprotected  head.  At 
length,  my  skull  opened,  and,  from  the  interior 
of  my  head,  a  splendid  temple  seemed  to  arise. 
Rows  of  columns  supported  rows  of  columns, 
order  was  piled  upon  order,  and,  as  it  rose,  Ba- 
bel-like, to  the  skies,  it  extended  in  width  as  it 
increased  in  height ;  and  there,  in  this  strange 
edifice,  I  saw  the  lofty,  the  winding,  the  inter- 
minable staircase,  the  wide  and  marble-paved 
courts ;  nor  was  there  wanting  the  majestic  and 
splashing  fountain,  whose  coo]  waters  were  mock- 
ing my  scorched-up  lips;  and  there  were  also 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  57 

the  long  range  of  beautiful  statues.  I'he  struc- 
ture continued  multiplying  itself  until  all  the 
heavens  were  full  of  it,  extending  nearly  to  the 
horizon  all  around. 

Under  this  superincumbent  weight  I  long 
struggled  to  stand.  It  kept  bearing  down  more 
and  m<M^  heavily  upon  the  root  of  my  brain : 
the  anguish  became  insufferable,  but  I  still  nobly 
essayed  to  keep  my  footing,  with  a  defiance  and 
a  pride  that  savoured  of  impious  presumption. 
At  length,  I  felt  completely  overcome,  and  ex- 
claimed, **  God  of  mercy,  relieve  me !  the  burthen 
is  more  than  I  can  bear."  Then  commenced 
the  havoc  in  this  temple,  that  was  my  head,  and 
was  not ;  there  were  the  toppling  down  of  the 
vast  columns,  the  crashing  of  the  several  archi- 
traves, the  grinding  together  of  the  rich  entabla- 
tures ;  the  breaking  up,  with  noise  louder  than 
ever  thunder  was  heard  by  man,  of  the  marble 
pavements,  the  ruins  crushed  together  in  one 
awful  confusion  above  me ; — nature  could  do  no 
more,  and  my  dream  slept. 

The  sun  was  at  its  meridian  height  when  I 
awoke  the  next  day  in  health,  with  every  sensa- 

d5 


59  RMTLIN,  THK  RBEP£R. 

tion  renewed,  and  that,  too,  in  the  so  sweet  a  feel' 
ing  that  makes  the  mere  act  of  living  delightful* 
I  fomid  nothing  remarkable,  but  that  1  had  been 
subjected  to  a  profuse  perspiration. 

Miss  Bellarosa  met  me  at  breakfast  all  triumph, 
and  I  was  all  gratitude.  I  was  veiy  hungry, 
and  as  pla3^ul  as  a  schoolboy  who  had  just 
procured  a  holiday. 

'^  Eh  !  Massa  Ralph,  suppose  no  marry  me  to- 
day— what  for  you  say  yes  to  dat  ?" 

"  Because,  dear  Bella,  you  wouldn't  haveTne." 

"  Try — ^you  ask  me,"  said  slie,  looking  at  me 
with  a  fondness  not  quite  so  maternal  as  I  could 
wish. 

"  Bella,  dearest,  will  you  marry  me  ?" 

"For  true?'* 

"  For  true/' 

"  Tanky,  Massa  Rattlin,  dear,  tanky  j  you 
make  me  very  happy ;  but,  for  true,  no.  Were 
you  older  more  fifteen  year,  or  me  more  fifteen 
year  younger,  perliaps — but  tank  ye  much  for 
de  comblement.  Now,  go,  and  tell  buckra 
doctor." 

So,  as  I  could  not  reward  my  kind  physician 


RATTLIN,  THE  RE£F£R. 


59 


with  my  hand^  which,  by  the  by,  I  should  not 
have  offered  had  I  not  been  certain  of  refusal,  I 
was  obliged  to  force  upon  her  as  splendid  a 
trinket  as  I  could  purchase  for  a  keepsake,  and 
gave  my  sable  nurses  a  handful  of  bits  each. 
Bits  of  what  ?  say  the  uninitiated. 

I  don't  know  whether  I  have  described  tliis 
fever  case  very  nosologically,  but,  very  truly  I 
know  I  have. 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 


CHAPTER   VI. 

A  new  character  iatroduced,  who  cleimelh  old  a<^quaiut- 
ancBBbip — Not  very  hooest  by  his  own  aixouDi,  nhicli 
givetb  him  mote  the  appearance  of  honesty  than  be 
(leserveth— He  proveth  to  be  a  atenard  not  inrliaed 
to  hide  his  talent  in  a  napkin. 

During  all  the  time  that  these  West  Indian 
events  had  been  occurring,  that  is,  nearly  three 
years,  I  liad  no  other  communication  with  Eng- 
land than  regularly  and  repeatedly  sending  there 
various  pieces  of  paper,  thus  headed, "  This,  my 
first  of  exchange,  my  second  and  third  not  paid;" 
or,  for  variety's  sake,  "  This,  my  second  of  ex- 
t'liange,  my  first  and  third,"  &c. ;  or,  to  be 
more  various  still,  "  This,  my  third,  my  first 
and  second," — all  of  wiiicli  received  more  atten- 


RATrUN,  THB  RESFES.  61 

tion  than  their  strange  phraseology  seemed  to  en« 
title  them  to. 

But  I  must  now  introduce  a  new  character ; 
one  that  attended  me  for  years,  like  an  evil 
shadow,  nor  left  me  until  the  *'  beginning  of 
the  end." 

The  ship  had  been  hove  down,  the  wound  in 
her  forefoot  healed,  that  is  to  say,  the  huge 
rent  stopped  up ;  and  we  were  beginning  to  get 
water  and  stores  on  board,  and  I  was  walking 
on  the  quay  of  the  dock-yard,  when  I  was  civilly 
accosted  by  a  man  having  the  appearance  of  a 
captain's  steward.  He  was  pale  and  handsome, 
with  small  white  hands :  and,  if  not  actually 
genteel  in  his  deportment,  had  that  metropolitan 
refinement  of  look  that  indicated  contact  with 
genteel  society.  Though  dressed  in  the  blue 
jacket  and  white  duck  trowsers  of  the  sailor's 
Sunday  best,  at  a  glance,  you  would  pronounce 
him  to  be  no  seaman.  Before  he  spoke  to  me, 
he  had  looked  attentively  at  several  other  mid- 
shipmen, some  belonging  to  my  own  ship, 
others,  yoimg  gentlemen  who  were  on  shore  on 
dock-}rard   duty.     At  length,  after  a  scrutiny 


6^  RATTLIN,  THE  REEPSR. 

sufficient  to  make  me  rather  angry,  he  took  off 
his  hat  very  respectfully,  and  said^- 

*'  Have  I  the  honour  of  speaking  to  Mr.  Ralph 
Rattlin?" 

"  You  have :  well,  my  man  ?" 

"  Ah,  sir,  you  forget  me,  and  no  wonder.  My 
name,  sir,  is  Daunton — Joshua  Daunton/' 

"  Never  heard  the  name  before  in  my  life." 

"  Oh,  yes,  you  have,  sir,  b^ging  your  pard(ui, 
very  often  indeed.  Why,  you  used  to  call  me 
Jossey ;  little  Jossey,  come  here  you  little  vaga- 
bond, and  let  me  ride  you  pick-a-back/' 

"The  devil  I  did!" 

"  Why,  Mr.  Rattlin,  I  was  your  fag  at  Mr. 
Roots'  school." 

Now,  I  knew  this  to  be  a  lie  ;  for,  under  that 
very  respectable  pedagogue,  and  in  that  very 
respectable  seminary,  as  the  reader  well  knows, 
I  was  the  fagged,  and  not  the  £agger. 

"  Now,  really,  Joshua  Daunton/'  said  I,  "  I 
am  inclined  to  think  tliat  you  may  be  Joshua 
the  little  vagabond  still ;  for,  upon  my  honour, 
I  remember  nothing  about  you.  Seeing  there 
were  so  many  hundred  boys  under  Mr.  Roots, 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  63 

my  schoolfeUow  you  might  have  been ;  but  may 
I  be  vexed  if  ever  I  fagged  you  or  any  one  else  1 
Now,  my  good  man,  prove  to  me  that  you  have 
been  my  schoolfellow  first,  and  then  let  me  know 
what  I  can  do  for  you  afterwards,  for  I  suppose 
that  you  have  some  favour  to  ask,  or  some 
motive  in  seeking  me/* 

"  I  have,  indeed,"  he  replied,  with  a  peculiar 
intonation  of  voice,  that  might  have  been  con- 
strued in  many  ways.  He  then  proceeded  to 
give  me  many  details  of  the  school  at  Islington, 
which  convinced  me,  if  there  he  had  never  been, 
he  had  conversed  with  some  one  who  had. 
Still,  he  evaded  all  my  attempts  at  cross-ex- 
amination, with  a  skill  which  gave  me  a  much 
higher  opinion  of  his  intellect  than  of  his 
hcHiesty.  With  the  utmost  efforts  of  my  recol- 
lection, I  could  not  recall  him  to  mind,  and  I 
bluntly  told  him  so.  I  then  bade  him  tell  me 
who  he  was  and  what  he  wanted. 

'^  I  am  the  only  son  of  an  honest  pawnbroker 
of  Shoreditch.  He  was  tolerably  rich,  and  deter- 
mined to  give  me  a  good  education.  He  sent 
me  to  Mr.  Roots'  school.     It  was  there  that  I 


t4  EATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

had  the  happiness  of  being  honoured  by  your 
friendship.  Now^  sir^  you  perceive  that,  though 
I  am  not  so  tall  as  you  by  some  inches,  I  am 
at  least  seven  or  eight  years  older.  Shortly 
after  you  left  school^  to  go  to  another  at  Stick* 
enhtun.  I  also  left,  with  my  education,  as  my 
father  fondly  supposed,  finished.  Sir,  I  turned 
out  bad.  I  confess  it  with  shame — I  was  a 
rasccd.  My  fatlier  turned  me  out  of  doors.  I 
have  had  several  ups  and  downs  in  the  world 
since,  and  I  am  now  steward  on  board  of  tlie 
London,  the  West  Indiaman  that  arrived  here 
the  day  before  yesterday/' 

"  \- ery  well,  Joshua :  but  how  came  you  to 
know  that  I  went  to^fechool  at  Stickenham  ?*' 

"  Because,  in  my  tramping  about  the  countrj , 
I  saw  you,  with  the  other  young  gentlemen,  in 
the  play-ground  on  the  common/* 

"  Hum  !  but  how,  in  the  name  of  all  that  is 
curious,  came  you  to  know  that  I  was  here  at 
Port  Royal  dock-yard,  and  a  young  gentleman 
belonging  to  the  Eos?" 

"  Oh  !  very  naturally,  sir.  About  two  years 
ago,  I  passed  again  over  the  same  common  with 


RATTLlNj  tHK  RBGPER.  65 

my  associates,  I  could  not  resist  the  wish  to 
see  if  you  were  still  in  the  play-groimd.  I  did 
not  see  you  among  the  rest,  and  I  made  bold  to 
inquire  of  one  of  the  elder  boys  where  you 
were.  He  told  me  the  name  of  the  ship  and 
of  your  captain.  The  first  thing  on  coming  into 
the  harbour  that  struck  my  eye,  was  your  very 
frigate  alongside  the  dock-yard.  I  got  leave  to 
come  on  shore,  and  I  knew  you  directly  that  [ 
saw  you.'* 

"  But  why  examine  so  many  before  you  spoke 
to  me  ?  However,  I  have  no  reason  to  be  sus- 
picious, for  time  makes  great  changes.  Now, 
what  shall  I  do  for  you?" 

"  Give  me  your  protection,  and  as  much  of 
your  friendliness  as  is  compatible  with  our  dif- 
ferent stations." 

"  But,  Daunton,  according  to  your  own 
words,  you  have  been  a  sad  fellow.  Before  I 
extend  to  you  what  you  require,  I  ought  to 
know  what  you  really  have  done.  You  spoke 
of  tramping  —  have  you  been  a  tramper  — a 
gipsy  ?" 

"  I  have." 


66  RATTLtN,  THE  RBCPES. 

"  Have  you  ever  committed  theft  ?" 

"  Only  in  a  smiill  way." 

"  Ah  1  and  swindlfd — only  in  a  small  way,  «f 
course  ?" 

"  The  temptations  wore  great." 

"  Where  will  this  fellow  stop?"  thought  I: 
"  let  us  see,  however,  how  far  he  will  go ;"  and 
then,  giving  utterance  to  my  thoughts,  1  con- 
tinued, "  Tlie  step  between  swindling  and  forgery 
is  hut  very  short,"  and  I  paused — for  even  I  liad 
not  the  confidence  to  ask  him,  "  are  you  a 
forger?" 

"  Very,"  was  the  short,  dry  answer.  1  was 
astonished.  Perliaps  he  will  confess  to  tlie  com- 
mission of  murder. 

"  Oh !  as  you  were  just  sajring  to  yourself, 
we  are  tlie  mere  passive  tools  of  fate  —  we  are 
drawn  on,  in  spite  of  ourselves.  If  a  man  comes 
in  our  way,  why,  you  know,  jn  self-defence — 
hey  ?" 

"  Wliat  do  you  mean,  sir  ?" 

"  A  little  prick  under  the  ribs  in  a  quiet  way. 
The  wanderings  and  jerkings  of  tlie  angry  hand 
will  happen.     You  understand  me?" 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  67 

"  Too  well,  I  am  afraid,  sir.  I  have  never 
yet  shed  man's  blood  —  I  never  will.  Perhaps, 
sir,  you  would  not  depend  upon  my  virtue  for 
this  —  you  may  upon  my  cowardice.  I  tremble 
—  I  sicken  —  at  the  sight  of  blood.  I  have  en- 
deavoured to  win  your  confidence  by  candour  — 
I  have  not  succeeded.  May  I  be  permitted  to 
bid  you  a  good  day  ?" 

^^  Stop,  Daunton,  this  is  a  singular  encounter, 
and  a  still  more  singular  conference.  As  an  old 
schoolfellow,  you  ask  me  to  give  you  my  pro- 
tection. The  protection  of  a  reefer  is,  in  itself^ 
something  laughable :  and  then,  as  an  induce- 
ment, you  confess  to  me  that  you  are  a  villain, 
only  just  in  guilt  short  of  murder.  Perhaps, 
by  this  bravado  sort  of  confession,  you  have  en- 
deavoured to  give  me  a  worse  impression  of  your 
character  than  it  really  deserves,  that  you  might 
give  me  the  better  opinion  of  your  sincerity.  Is 
it  not  so  ?" 

In  a  great  measure,  it  is." 
I  thought  so.     Now,  let  me  tell  you,  Daun- 
ton, that  that  very  circumstance  makes  me  afraid 
of  you.     But,  still,  I  will  not  cast  aside  the  ap- 


68  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

peal  of  an  old  schoolfellow.     What  can  I  do  fer   | 
you!" 

"  Give  me  the  protection  afforded  me  by  a 
man-of-war,  by  taking  me  as  your  servant." 

"  Utterly  impossible !  I  can  press  jrou  di- 
rectly, or  give  the  hint  to  any  of  tlie  many 
men-of-war  here  to  do  ao.  But  the  rules  of 
the  service  do  not  permit  a  midshipman  to 
have  a  separate  servant.  Do  you  wish  to 
enter  i" 

"  Only  on  hoard  of  your  ship,  and  with  the 
privilege  of  waiting  upon  you,  and  being  con- 
stantly near  your  person," 

"  Tiiaiik  you ;  but  what  prevents  my  impres- 
sing you,  even  as  you  stand  there  ?" 

"  'Hiese  very  ample  protections."  And  he  pro- 
duced them. 

"  Yes !  I  see  that  you  are  well  provided. 
But  why  give  up  your  good  berth  on  board  the 
London  f " 

"  Mr.  Rattlin,  1  have  my  reasons.  Permit 
them,  as  yet,  to  remain  secret.  Tliere  is  no  guilt 
attaclied  to  them.  May  I  sail  with  you  in  the 
capacity  of  your  servant?" 


RATTLIK,  THE  RBfiPER.  69 

'*  I  have  told  you  before,  that  you  cannot  be 
my  servant  solely.  You  must  be  the  servant  of 
the  midshipmen's  berth/' 

"  Yes,  with  all  my  heart,  provided  you  pledge 
me  your  honour  that  I  shall  never  be  put  to  any 
other  duty." 

I  was  astonished  at  this  perseverance,  and 
very  honestly  told  him  all  the  miseries  of  the 
situation  for  which  he  seemed  so  ambitious. 
They  did  not  shake  his  resolution.  I  then  left 
him,  and  spoke  to  Mr.  Farmer.  "  Let  the  fool 
enter,"  was  the  laconic  reply. 

"  But  he  will  not  enter  but  on  the  conditions 
I  have  mentioned,  and  his  protections  are  too 
good  to  be  violated." 

**  ITien  I  authorize  you  to  make  them.  We 
are  short  of  men." 

But  Joshua  would  not  enter :  he  required  to 
be  pressed ;  so  J  went  on  board  his  own  mer- 
chant ship,  according  to  previous  arrangement, 
and  pressed  him.  He  made  no  resistance,  and 
produced  no  documents  :  he  only  called  the  mas- 
ter of  the  ship  and  the  first  and  second  officer  to 
witness  that  he  was  a  pressed  man,  and  then. 


RATTLIN,  THE  aKKFBS. 


taking  bis  kit  with  liim,  he  ewn  vheeriully  tr^l 
ped  down  the  side  into  the  boat ;  and  thus,  fiirl 
nearly  an  eventful  year,  I  was  the  instrument  of  I 
placing  my  evil  genius  near  me, 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFBR. 


71 


CHAPTER  VII, 

Tbe  Art  of  Mischief  made  easy — rather  hard  upon  the 
experimented — *'  Heaven  preserve  me  from  my  friends ! 
I'll  take  care  of  my  enemies  myself^*'  say  the  honest 
Spaniards,  and  so  says  honest  Ralph. 


And  so^  filling  our  cabins  with  invalided  offi* 
cers,  we  sailed  for  England.  We  took  home 
with  us  a  convoy :  and  a  miserable  voyage  we 
made  of  it.  I  had  none  of  those  exhilarating 
feelings  so  usual  to  every  one  who  is  about^  after 
a  long  period  of  absence,  to  revisit  his  native 
land.  I  grew  dull  and  irritable,  a  mixture  of 
qualities  as  unpleasant  as  they  are  contradictory. 
1  began  to  cast  up  accounts  with  that  stem  old 
reckoner,  Time,  and  I  found  the  balance  dread- 
fully in  my  disfavour.  What  had  I,  in  exchange. 


72  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

for  tile  loss  of  the  tlivee  most  sunshiny  years  of 
life,  cumpnsed  betwi^n  the  age£  of  sixteen  and 
ninc'teeii  [  To  look  back  upon  that  period,  it 
seemed  a.  dreary  waste,  witli  only  one  small' 
bright  spot  blooming  upon  it.  Indeed,  the  cm^ 
teraplation  of  that  oasis  was  so  dazzling,  tha;^ 
when  my  mental  eye  was  no  longer  riveted  upoO: 
it,  like  a  gaze  upon  the  sun,  it  made  all  else 
seem  dark  and  indistinct. 

Tlie  indomitable  pride  natural  to  every  bosom,, 
and  perhaps  too  plentiful  in  mine,  hod  also  iti 
share  in  filling  my  mind  with  an  unceasing  and 
ctmkering  disgust.  I  began  to  feel  the  bitter- 
ness  of  being  unowned.  What  was  country  to 
me  }  The  chain  that  binds  a  man  to  it  is  formed 
of  innumerable  small,  yet  precious,  links,  almost 
all  of  which  were  wanting  in  my  case.  Father, 
mother,  family,  a  heritage,  a  holding,  something 
to  claim  as  one's  own  —  these  are  what  bind  a 
man's  affections  to  a  particular  spot  of  earth, 
and  these  were  not  mine :  the  fact  was,  I  wanted, 
just  at  that  time,  excitement  of  good  or  of  evil, 
and  I  was  soon  supplied  with  that  aliment  of 
life,  ad 


I 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  73 

In  taking  my  soi-disant  schoolfellow  on  board 
the  Eos,  I  had  shipped  with  me  my  Mephisto-^ 
philes.  The  former  servant  to  the  midshipmen's 
berth  was  promoted  to  the  mizen-top,  and  Joshua 
Daunton  inducted,  with  due  solenmities,  to  all 
the  honours  of  waiting  upon  about  half  a  dozen 
fierce,  unruly  midshipmen,  and  as  many  sick 
supernumeraries ;  and  he  formerly  took  charge 
of  all  the  mess-plate  and  munitions  de  bouche  of 
this  submarine  establishment.  There  was  no 
temptation  to  embezzlement.  Our  little  society 
was  a  commonwealth  of  the  most  democratic 
description  —  and,  as  usually  happens  in  these 
sort  of  experiments,  there  was  a  community  of 
goods  that  were  good  for  nothing  to  the  com- 
munity. 

I  will  give  an  inventory  of  all  the  moveables 
of  this  republic,  for  the  edification  of  the  curious. 
Among  these,  it  being  continually  in  motion,  I 
must  first  of  all  enumerate  the  salle  a  manger 
itself,  a  hot,  little  hole  in  the  cock-pit,  of  about 
eight  feet  by  six,  which  was  never  clean.  This 
dining-parlour  and  breakfast-room  also  con- 
tained our  cellars,  which  contained  nothing,  and 

VOL.  III.  :p 


74  BATTUN,  THE  RBEFER. 

on  which  cellars  we  lay  down  when  there  was 
room  —  your  true  midshipman  is  a  recumbent 
animal  —  and  sat  whea  we  could  not  lie.  For 
the  same  reason  that  the  Romans  called  a  grove 
tuau,  these  celierets  were  called  lockers,  becauw 
there  was  nothing  to  lock  in  them,  and  no  locks 
to  lock  iu  tliat  nothing  withall.  In  the  midst 
stood  an  oak  table,  carved  with  more  names 
than  ever  Rosalind  accused  Orlando  of  spoiling 
good  trees  with,  besides  the  outline  of"  a  ship, 
Bnd  a  number  of  squares,  wliich  served  for  aa 
immoveable  draught-board.  One  battered,  spout- 
less, handless,  japanned-tin  jug,  that  did  not 
contain  water,  for  it  leaked ;  some  tin  mugs ; 
seven, or  perliaps  eight, pewter  plates;  an  excel- 
lent old  iron  tureen,  the  best  friend  we  had, 
and  which  had  stood  by  us,  through  storm  and 
calm,  and  the  spiteful  kick  of  Reefer,  and  the 
contemptuous  *'  slings  and  arrows  of  outrageous 
fortune,"  in  the  galley,  which  contained  our 
cocoa  in  the  morning,  our  pea- soup  at  noon, 
and,  after  these  multiplied  duties,  performed 
the  character  of  wash>hand  basin,  whenever  the 
midsliipman's  fag  condescended  to  cleanse  his 


RATTLIN,  THE  REBPER.  75 

hands.  It  is  a  fact  that,  when  we  sailed  for 
England,  of  crockeryware  we  had  not  a  ringle 
article.  There  were  a  calabash  or  so,  and  two 
or  three  sections  of  cocoa-nut  shells. 

We  had  no  other  provisions  than  barely  the 
ship's  allowance,  and  even  these  were  of  the  worst 
description.  Bread,  it  is  well  remarked,  is  the 
staff  of  life;  but  it  is  not  quite  pleasant  to 
find  it  life  itself,  and  to  have  the  power  of 
locomotion.  Every  other  description  of  food  was 
in  the  same  state  of  transition  into  vivification. 
There  is  no  exaggeration  in  all  this.  From  the 
continual  coming  and  going,  and  the  state  of 
constant  disunion  in  which  we  lived,  it  was  every 
man  for  himself,  and  God,  I  am  sorry  to  say, 
seemed  to  have  very  little  to  do  with  any  of  us. 
So  complete  was  our  disorganization,  and  so  great 
our  destitution  as  a  mess,  that,  after  the  first 
week,  the  supernumerary  sick  young  gentlemen 
were  relieved  from  this  candle-light  den  of  star- 
vation and  of  dirt,  and  distributed  among  the 
warrant  officers. 

It  was  to  wait  upon  our  persons,  to  administer 
to  our  wants,  and  to  take  care  of  our  culinary 

e2 


I 


76  HATTLIX,  THE  RGePBR. 

comforts,  that  Joshua  Dauntoti  wo^  duly  installed. 
It  was  veiy  ludicrous  to  see  our  late  servaat 
giving  up  his  charge  to  our  present  one  —  the 
solemnity  witli  which  the  iron  tureen,  and  tlw 
one  knife,  and  the  three  forks,  that  w«re  not 
furcated,  seeing  that  they  had  hut  one  prong 
each,  were  surrendered  !  Josliua'e  contempt  at 
the  sordid  poverty  of  the  republic  to  which  hs 
was  to  administer  was  quite  as  undisguised  as 
his  surprise.  I  again  and  again  requested  hitn 
to  do  his  duty  in  some  capacity  in  the  ship,  but 
he  steadily  refused. 

ITie  silky,  soft  spoken,  cockney -di  alec  ted  Josh 
got  me  into  continual  hot  water.  At  first  he 
seemed  to  consider  himself  as  my  servant  only  ; 
consequently,  he  was  continually  thrashed,  and  I, 
on  his  appeal,  taking  his  part,  had  to  endeavour 
to  thrash  the  thrasher.  Now,  this  could  not  al- 
ways conveniently  be  done.  Tlie  more  I  suffered 
for  this  Daunton,  the  more  ardently  he  seemed 
to  attach  liimself  to  me.  But  there  appeared  to 
be  much  more  malice  than  affection  in  this  fide- 
lity. Nothing  prospered  either  with  me  or  my 
messmates,     He  contrived,  in  the  most  plausible 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER*  ?7 

manner  possible^  to  spoil  our  almost  unspoilable 
meals.  He  always  managed  to  draw  for  us  the 
very  worst  rations,  and  to  lay  the  blame  on  the 
purser's  steward.  In  bringing  aft  our  miserable 
dinners,  his  foot  would  slip,  or  a  man  would  run 
against  him  —  or  somebody  had  taken  it  off  the 
galley- fire,  and  thrown  it  in  the  manger.  Salt 
water  would  miraculously  intrude  into  my  mess- 
mates' rum-bottle,  and  my  daily  pint  of  wine  was 
either  sour,  or  muddy,  or  sandy,  or  afflicted  with 
something  that  made  it  undrinkable.  In  one 
word,  imder  the  care  of  the  good  Joshua,  Mes- 
sieurs the  midshipmen  ran  a  most  imminent  risk 
of  being  actually  starved. 

Many  a  time,  after  we  had  gone  through  the 
motions  of  dining,  without  eating,  and  as  we 
sate  in  our  dark,  hot  hole,  over  our  imdrinkable 
potations  and  oiu*  inedible  eatables,  each  of  us 
resting  his  hungry  head  upon  his  aching  elbows, 
watching  the  progress  of  some  animated  piece  of 
biscuit,  would  Master  Daimton,  the  slave  of  our 
lamp,  which,  by-the-by,  was  a  bottle  bearing  a 
miserably  consumptive  purser's  dip,  beside  which 
a  farthing  rushlight  would  look  quite  aldermanic 


RATTLIN,  THE  BEEFER. 


— I  say,  this  dave  of  our  lamp  would  pvrch 
himself  down  on  the  combings  of  the  cable-tier 
hatchway,  in  the  raidst  of  the  flood  of  Heav«n'a 
blessed  daylight,  that  fame  pouring  fnnn  aloft 
into  this  abyss,  and  very  deliberately  take  oiit 
his  pm-ate  store  of  viands,  and  there  in^ultinglj 
wag  his  JBWB,  with  the  most  TOmplacent  satidac- 
tion,  in  the  faees  of  his  masters.  The  contjast 
was  too  bad  —  the  malice  of  it  too  tormenting. 
Whilst  he  was  masticating  his  beautifully  white 
American  crackers,  and  smacking  hia  lipa  ovW 
his  savoury  German  sausage,  we  were  grumbling 
over  putrid  bones  and  weavilly  biscuit,  that  we 
could  not  swallow,  and  yet  hunger  would  not 
permit  us  to  desert.  It  was  a  floating  repetition 
of  the  horrors  of  Tantalus. 

Well,  to  myself,  this  rascal  was  most  sub- 
missive—most eager  in  forcing  upon  me  his 
services.  He  relieved  my  hammock-man  of  his 
duty ;  but,  somehow,  nothing  prospered  to 
which  he  put  his  hand.  The  third  night,  the 
nails  of  the  cleet  that  fastened  my  head-clews  up 
to  the  deck  above  me,  drew,  and  I  came  down 
by  the  run,   head  foremost ;   and  immediately 


RATTLIN,  THE  RESPXR.  79 

where  my  head  ought  to  have  alighted  on  the 
deck,  was  foimd  the  carpenter's  pitch  kettle,  with 
the  blade  of  an  axe  in  the  centre  of  it,  and  the 
edge  uppermost.  No  one  knew  how  it  came 
there,  and,  had  I  shot  out  as  young  gentlemen 
usiially  do  on  such  occasions,  I  should,  if  I  had 
not  been  quite  decapitated,  at  least  have  died  by 
the  axe.  Not  being  asleep  when  the  descent 
tock  place,  I  gre^pled  with  my  neighbour,  the  old 
fat  awistantsuigeon,  and  he  with  the  neict,  and 
the  three  came  down  on  deck  with  a  lunge  that 
actually  started  the  marine  officer — ^who,  every 
body  knows,  is  the  best  sleeper  on  board.  Hap- 
pily for  myself,  I  fell  from  my  hammock  side- 
ways. Next,  the  accommodating  Joshua  got  the 
sole  charge  of  my  chest,  and,  though  nothing  was 
missed,  in  a  short  time  every  thing  was  ruined, 
'fhe  cockroaches  ate  the  most  unaccountable  holes 
in  my  best  uniforms,  my  shoes  burst  in  putting 
them  on,  my  boots  cracked  all  across  the  upper 
leathers,  and  the  feet  of  my  stockings  came  off 
when  I  attempted  to  draw  them  on. 

The  obsequious  Joshua  was  equally  assiduous 
with  his  other  six  masters,  and  even  more  sue- 


So  SATTUN,  THE  KEEPER. 

cessful ;  so  that,  id  addition  to  being  starred^ 
tlipre  was  every  possibility  of  our  being  reduced 
to  nakedness.  This  was  no  pleasant  prospeo^ 
running  out  of  tropical  latitudes  towards  E/ag- 
land,  in  the  month  of  January.  In  the  coune 
of  six  weeks,  such  a  ragged,  woe-begone,  gaunt, 
and  famished  gang  of  reefers  was  never  before 
huddled  togetlier  in  one  of  his  Majesty's  vessel; 
of  war.  The  sliifts  we  were  obliged  to  have 
recourse  to  were  quite  amuang,  to  all  but  th? 
shiflTnakers.  The  only  good  hat,  and  wearable 
imiform  coat,  went  round  and  round  ;  it  was  a 
happy  thing  for  this  disconsolate  seven  that  we 
were  all  nearly  of  a  size.  To  aggravate  ourmis- 
fortxines,  we  could  no  longer  get  an  occasional 
dinner,  either  in  the  captain's  cabin  or  the  ward- 
room, for  our  clothes  were  all  in  rags. 

In  the  meanwhile,  Joshua  Daunton  grew  more 
and  more  sleek,  and  pale,  and  &t.     He  throve 
upon  our  miseries.    He  played  his  part  at  length 
so  well,  as  to  avoid  thrashings.    He  possessed, 
perfection,   that   which,   in   classic   cockpit, 
called  "  the  gifl  of  the  gab."     He  was  never 
the  wrong.     Indeed  he  began  to  get  a  favourite 


RATtLIN»  THE  REEPBR. 


81 


with  each  of  the  individuals  over  whom  he  was 
so  mercilessly  tjrrannyzing,  while  each  thought 
himself  the  tyrant.  All  this  may  se^n  improba- 
ble to  well-nurtured,  shore- bred,  young  gentle- 
men and  ladies ;  but  midshipmen  were  always 
reckless  and  idle — that  is,  personally.  On  actual 
service,  they  have  ever  been  equally  reckless,  but 
commensurably  active.  This  kindness  of  Joshua, 
in  taking  all  trouble  off  our  hands,  soon  left  us 
almost  nothing  wherewith  to  trouble  oiu'selves. 


£  5 


RATTLIN.THE  REEFER. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 


All  anticipated  dioueT — All  the  eiijoyinent  ipoiled  by  the 
Rrst  cut — A  (uit  or  clothes  ill  suited  for  wearing — 
and  Jothua  Dauntou  trjiing  on  a  pair  of  irou  lefrgings 
— more  easily  put  on  tlian  shaken  off. 

This  imp,  this  Flibbertygibbet,  was  killing 
us  by  inches,  At  length,  one  of  the  master's 
mates,  no  longer  being  able  to  starve  quietly  and 
philosophically,  as  became  a  man  of  courage, 
was  again  determined,  by  one  last  effort,  to  dine, 
and  breakfast,  and  sup,  in  the  captain's  cabin  and 
ward-room  as  often  as  lie  could.  So,  finding  that 
there  was  enough  new  blue  cloth  on  board,  with 
buttons,  &c.,  to  make  liim  a  complete  suit,  he 
purchased  them,  at  an  enormous  price,  on  credit  ; 
and  set  the  ship's  tailors  to  work  incontinently. 
By  this  time,  we  were,  with  our  homeward-bound 


BXTTLIN,  THK  REEFER.  83 

convoy,  on  the  banks  of  Newfoundland.  It  was 
misty  and  cold — and  we.  were  chilly  and  ragged. 
In  such  a  conjuncture  of  circumstances,  even  the 
well  clothed  may  understand  what  a  blessing  a 
new  suit  of  warm  blue  must  be — ^that  suit  bearing 
in  its  suite  a  long  line  of  substantial  breakfasts, 
dinners,  and  suppers.  All  this  was  about  to  be 
Mr.  Pigtop's,  our  kind  messmate,  and  respectable 
mate  of  the  orlop  deck.  He  had  already  begun 
to  protest  upon  the  unreasonableness  of  rota- 
tory coats,  or  of  having  a  quarter-deck  pair  of 
trowsers,  Uke  the  wives  of  the  ancient  Britons, 
common  to  the  sept.  The  ungrateful  rogue ! 
He  had  on,  at  the  very  time,  the  only  quarter- 
deck-going coat  among  us,  which  was  mine, 
and  which  he  had  just  borrowed  to  enable  him 
to  go  on  deck,  and  report  every  thing  right 
below. 

**  Captain  Reud's  compliments  to  Mr.  Kgtop, 
and  would  be  glad  of  his  company  to  dinner." 

Angelic  words,  when  the  invited  reefer  has  a 
clean  shirt,  or  collar,  and  a  decent  uniform. 

"  *  Mr.  Pigtop's  compliments  to  Captain  Reud, 
and  will  be  most  happy  to  wait  on  him.'  There, 


I 


50U  <logs,"  eiui  the  elat«d  l^gtop,  "  I  sy,  [ 
more  Ifixling  of  elothee.     Here,  you  Josh,  jump  I 
forward,  and  tell  the  tailor  I  must  have  my  un>-  I 
fonu  by  four  bells." 

JmIi  jumped  forward  with  a  very  iotdligeat  I 
giin  upon  his  taUow-oompIexioned  but  fa 


Now,  the  captain  and  the  ward-rootn  od 
all  knew  very  well  of  the  unaccountable  i]est7tu> 
tion  of  our  clothes,  which,  they  afliected  to  be- 
lieve, was  not  unaccountable  to  them.  Tbcj 
said  it  arose  from  very  natural  causes ;  a  little 
of  which  was  to  be  ascribed  to  dampness,  a  little 
to  the  cockroaches,  and  a  great,  a  very  great 
deal  to  our  proverbial  carelessness,  WeU.  A 
middiipman  careless !  But  some  people  may 
libel  with  impunity.  Whatever  they  thought, 
tliey  enjoyed  our  ililemmas,  both  of  food  and  of 
clothing. 

An  hour  before  the  captain's  dinner  was  ready, 
the  much-envied  suit  was  brought  aft,  and  duly 
displayed  on  Mr.  Kgtop's  chest.  The  ward- 
room officers,  or  at  least  those  of  them  with  whom 
he  could  take  tliat  liberty,  were  inWted  out  to 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  85 

view  it.  It  was  pronounced^  for  ship-tailoring, 
excellent. 

Pigtop's  elation  was  great.  So  was  Josh 
Daimton*s ;  but  all  in  a  quiet,  submissive  way. 
Our  envy  was  proportionate.  Josh  was  an  ex- 
cellent barber,  and  he  volunteered  to  shave  the 
happy  diner-out — the  offer  was  accepted.  Then 
came  the  turn  of  fate — then  commenced  the  long 
series  of  the  poor  mate's  miseries.  It  was  no 
fault  of  Daunton's,  certainly — ^but  all  the  razors 
were  like  saws.  The  blood  came  out  over  the 
black  visage  of  Mr.  Pigtop ;  but  the  hair  stayed 
most  pertinaceously  on.  The  sufferer  swore — 
how  horribly  he  swore  !  The  time  was  fast 
elapsing.  After  a  most  tremendous  oath  from 
the  sufferer,  which  would  have  ahnost  split  an 
oak  plank,  Joshua  said  in  his  lowly  and  insinua- 
ting voice,  "  Mr.  Pigtop,  pray  do  —  do,  do,  sir, 
try  the  razors  yourself.  My  heart  bleeds,  sir, 
more  than  your  face— do  try,  sir,  for  I  think  the 
captain's  servant  is  now  coming  down  the  hatch- 
way to  tell  you  dinner  is  ready  " 

In  despair,  the  hungry  depilator  seized  the 
razors;  and,  being  exasperated  with  hurry,  he 


) 


S6  RATTUM,  THE  BRErER. 

made  a  irorse  job  of  it  Uian  Joshua.  Wfaen 
Josh  had  made  notches,  Pigtop  made  gasbetb 
Tlie  ship's  barber  was  then  sent  for,  and  be 
poatively  refused  to  go  over  the  hkxxly  sor- 
bce. 

But  Joshua  Daimton  was  the  true  friend,  the 
friend  in  ne«d.  \^'ilh  Mr.  Pigtop'g  permission, 
be  would  go  and  borrow  one  of  Dr.  'lltomson's 
razors.  The  ofler  was  gratefully  accepted.  In 
the  mean  time,  dinner  was  actually  annouitced. 
It  is  just  about  as  wise  to  attempt  to  keep  the 
hungry  tiger  from  his  newly-slaughtered  prey, 
as  for  a  mtd  to  make  the  captain  of  a  man-of- 
war  wmt  dinner.     Reud  did  not  wait. 

However,  the  fresh  razor  did  its  work  admira- 
bly, in  the  adroit  hand  of  Joshua.  The  hitherto 
intractable  beard  flew  off  rapidly,  and  Joshua's 
tongue  moved  more  glibly  even  than  his  razor. 
Barbers  in  the  act  of  office  have,  like  the  House 
of  Commons,  the  privilege  of  speech.  They  are 
not  amenable  afterwards  for  what  they  say.  In 
tlie  act  they  are  omnipotent,  for,  who  would 
quarrel  with  a  man  who  is  slipping  a  razor  over 
your  carotid  artery  ?     Not  certainly  Mr.  Pigtop. 


AATTUN,  THE  REEFER.  87 

Thus  spoke  Joshua,  amid  the  eloquent  flourishes 
of  his  instrument: 

**  Mr,  Pigtop,  I  've  a  great  respect  for  you— 
a  very  great  respect  indeed,  sir.  If  you  have 
not  been  a  good  friend  to  me  yet,  you  will-*-^  I 
know  it,  sir ;  you  are  not  like  the  o<iher  flighty 
young  gentlemen.  I  have  a  respect  for  years, 
sir  — a  great  respect  for  years,  and  honour  a 
middle-aged  gentleman.  Indeed,  sir,  it  must  be 
a  great  condescension  in  you  to  permit  yourself 
to  be  only  a  master's-mate  of  a  frigate,  seeing 
that  you  are  quite  an  elderly  gentleman—-.*' 

«Da !" 

"  There  !  —  that  was  very  imprudent  indeed, 
sir,  of  you  to  open  your  mouth.  It  w€is  not  my 
fieiult,  you  know,  that  the  brush  went  into  it : 
indeed,  some  people  like  the  taste  of  soapsuds — 
wholesome,  I  assure  you —  very.  A  stubble  of 
your  growth,  sir,  always  requires  a  double  lather- 
ing —  don't  speak.  Oh,  sir,  you  are  a  happy 
man — exceeding.  Your  fSetce  will  be  as  smooth 
as  a  man's  borrowing  money.  You,  boy,  just 
run  up  the  after-hatchway,  and  tell  the  captain's 
steward  tliat  Mr.  Pigtop  will  be  in  the  cabin  in 


Sd  KiiTTLIN,  THE  &EEFER. 

tlio  flouriBh  of  a  razor,  or  before  a  white  horse  can 
turn  grey.  Permit  mc  to  take  you  by  tlie  iio*e; 
tlie  true  handle  of  the  faee,  sir :  it  given  tlic  man, 
Ed  it  were,  a  sort  of  a  coiiunand,  air,  of  the  whoW 
head }  lie  can  box  the  compass  with  it.  Ha[^ 
indeed  you  are,  sir,  and  much  to  be  eaviedi 
There  was  one  of  the  captain's  turtles  kiUe^'j 
yesterday  —  Jumbo  is  a  cook,  a  moat  exc«ilefitl 
eook  —  a  spoonful  of  tlie  soup  to-day  will  ht\ 
worth  a  king's  ransom  —  a  peck  of  March  dust  I 
puoh  1 — I  wouldn't  give  a  spoonful  of  tliat  *oup 
for  a  hundred  bushels  of  it.  Take  my  advice, 
sir,  and  have  soup  twice,  sir.  As  it  was  carried 
along  the  main-deck,  I'm  dishonest,  if  the  young 
gentlemen  did  n't  follow  it  with  the  water  run- 
ning down  in  streams  from  the  comers  of  their 
mouths,  and  their  tongues  intreatingly  lolling 
out  like  a  parcel  of  hungry  dogs  in  Cripplegate, 
following  the  catsmeat-man's  barrow.  One  more 
rasp  over  your  upper  lip,  and  you  are  as 
smooth  as  the  new-bom  babe  — talking  of  lips, 
as  the  first  spoonful  of  that  turtle-soup  glides 
over  them  —  the  devil !  1  '11  take  God  to  wit- 
ness, it  was  an  accident  —  the  roll  of  the  ship ! " 


1 


KATTLIN*  THE  REEFER.  '  89 

Joshua  Daunton  was  on  his  knees  before  Mr. 
Pigtop,  who  was  in  an  agony  of  pain,  holding  on 
his  upper  lip,  which  was  nearly  severed  from  his 
face,  whilst  the  blood  was  streaming  through  his 
fingers. 

Doctor  Thompson  with  diachylon  and  black 
sticking-plaister  was  soon  on  the  spot  to  the 
assistance  of  the  almost  dislipped  master's  mate» 
After  the  best  was  done  for  it,  the  poor  fellow 
cut  \but  a  sorry  appearance ;  still  his  extreme 
hunger,  made  almost  furious  by  the  vision  of  the 
turtle-soup,  so  artfully  conjured  up  by  the  maU- 
cious  Joshua,  got  the  better  of  his  sense  of  pain ; 
and,  with  a  great  band  of  black  plaister  reaching 
transversely  from  the  right  nostril  to  the  left 
comer  of  his  mouth,  the  grim-looking  Mr.  Kg- 
top  made  haste  to  don  the  new  uniform. 

In  the  meantime,  the  protestations  and  tears 
of  Joshua  had  convinced  every  body  that  the 
horrible  gash  was  merely  the  effect  of  accident, 
for  the  ship  was  rolling  a  great  deal  at  the  mo- 
ment. What  the  captain  and  his  guests  were 
doing  in  the  cabin  above  with  the  turtle-soup  it 
is  needless  for  me  to  state,  for  that  same  soup 


90  RATTUN,  TRK  REEFEA. 

was  never  fated  to  gladden  tiie  wounded  lip  of 
Mr,  Pigtop. 

The  hasty  and  famishing  gentleman,  in  his 
very  first  attempt  to  draw  on  his  new  trowsers, 
to  the  astonishment  of  all  his  messmates,  who 
had  now  gathered  round  him,  found  them  ^pa- 
mle  in  the  middle  of  each  of  his  legs.  He  might 
as  well  ha^-e  attempted  to  clothe  liimself  with 
cobweb  continuations ;  they  came  to  pieces  almost 
with  a  shake.  The  waistcoat  and  coat  were  in 
the  same  predicament :  they  had  not  the  princi- 
ple of  continuity  in  them.  Every  body  was  lost 
in  amazement,  except  Mr.  Pigtop,  whose  amaze- 
ment, quite  as  great  as  our's,  was  lost  in  Ms  stilt 
greater  rage.  It  was  extremely  unfortunate  for 
Joshua  Daunton  that  he  had  cut  the  lip  that 
day.  The  kind  doctor  was  still  by  during  the 
apparelling,  or  the  attempt  at  it.  He  examined 
the  rotten  clothes,  and  he  soon  discovered  that 
they  liad  been  saturated  in  different  parts  by 
some  corrosive  liquid,  that,  instead  of  imp»ring, 
really  improved  the  brilliancy  of  the  cloth. 

During  these  proceedings,  Captiun  Reud  and 
his  guests  had  eaten  up  the  dinner;  but  the 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  91 

captain^  not  being  pleased  to  be  pleasantly  hu- 
moured that  day,  sent  word  for  Mr.  Kgtop  to 
go  to  the  mast-head  till  midnight,  for  disrespect 
in  not  attending  to  the  invitation  that  he  had 
accepted.     There  was  no  appeal,  and  aloft  went 
the  wounded^  ragged,  famished  hoper  of  devour- 
ing turtle-soup.    Joshua  looked  very  demure 
and  very  unhappy  j  but  Dr.  Thompson  set  on 
foot  an  inquiry,  and  the  truth  of  the  destruction 
of  the  clothes  was  soon  ascertained.    The  lob- 
lolly boy,  that  is,  the  yo\mg  man  who  had  charge 
of  the  laboratory  where  all  the  medicines  were 
kept,  confessed,  after  a  little  hesitation,  that  for 
certain  glasses  of  grog  he  had  given  this  perni- 
cious liquid  to  Daunton.    So,  while  one  of  his 
masters  was  contemplating  the  stars  from  the 
mast-head,  the  destroyer  of  refers'  kits  had 
nothing  else  to  do  but  to  contemplate  the  beauty 
of  his  own  feet,  placed,  with  a  judicious  exacti- 
tude, in  a  very  handsome  pair  of  Bilboes  under 
the  half  deck. 


RATrLIN,  THE  REEFER. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

The  c3l-of-niite-taiU  Wgets  a  lole  the  tnost  aut>ojiiif>  Ic 
Ralph— Tlie  story  of  the  tliree  crow,  beatea  boUoir— 
Seven's  llie  maia  and  a  losing  cast — A  pramiMd  trea- 
tise on  ornithology  put  an  end  to  rather  abruptly  by 
the  biplumal  resolviog  themselves  idIo  the  mere  bipedal. 

When  fully  secured,  the  poor  wretch  sent  for 
me.  He  was  in  a  paroxysm  of  fear :  he  pro- 
tested 1)13  innocence  over  and  over  ag^ :  he 
declared  that  he  should  die  under  the  first  iash : 
that  it  was  for  love  of  me  only  that  he  had  come 
on  board  of  a  man-of-war;  he  conjured  me,  by  the 
fellowship  of  our  boyish  days,  by  all  that  I  loved 
and  that  was  sacred  to  us,  to  save  liim  from  the 
gangway.  The  easiness  of  my  nature  was  worked 
upon,  and  I  promised  to  use  my  influence  to 
procure  for  him  a  pardon.     1  went  to  Mr.  Far- 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  93 

mer,  but  all  my  efforte  were  unavailing.  Th^ 
culprit  passed  a  sleepless  night  in  the  intolerable 
agony  of  fear.  Before  he  was  brought  up  to  be 
flogged,  Mr.  Pigtop  had  been  fully  avenged. 

The  gratings  are  rigged,  the  hands  are  turned 
up,  and  Joshua  Daunton  is  supported  by  two 
ship's  corporals,  in  a  nearly  fainting  state,  and 
stripped  by  another — he  is  too  much  paralyzed 
to  do  it  himself.  The  officers  are  mustered  on 
the  break  of  the  quarter-deck,  and  the  marines 
are  drawn  up,  imder  arms,  on  the  gangway. 
Captain  Reud  looks  fierce  and  forbidding,  and 
Mr.  Farmer,  for  his  generally  impassible  fea» 
tures,  really  quite  savage.  I  come  forward 
shudderingly  and  look  down.  The  wandering 
and  restless  eyes  of  the  frightened  young  man 
meet,  in  an  instant,  what,  most  probably,  they 
are  seeking  —  my  own. 

"  Ralph  Rattlin,  speak  for  me  to  the  captain.*' 
The  words  were  in  themselves  simple,  but  they 
were  uttered  in  a  tone  of  the  most  toucliing 
pathos.  They  made  me  start :  I  thought  that  I 
knew  the  voice,  not  as  the  voice  of  Joshua 
Daunton,  the  mischievous  imp  that  had  tor- 


^^^^^^^H 

B^^l 

1 

94                          RATT1.IN,  THE  RSEPER.                                  I 

mentol  us  all  so  scientifically 

but  of  some  dear 

and   long-forgotten 

speak  for  me  to  the 

"  But  it  shall  be. 

friend. 
Captain- 
by  G-1 

"  Ralph    Rattliuj 
-this  must  not  be." 
'  ^d  the  irascible 

Creole. 

"  Captain  Reud," 

for  this  once  only  — 

said  I,  ' 

let  me  in  treat  yoi^. 

"  Oil,   Captain 

Reud,  if 

?ou  knew   wliat  a 

strange  sympathy— 
"  The  thief  3  cat 

" 

"  Indeed,  sir,  since  he  has  been  on  board  he 
has  never  stolen — " 

"  Mr.  Rattlin,  another  word,  and  the  mast- 
head.  Stand  back,  Stebbings !  —  let  Douglas 
give  liim  the  first  dozen." 

Now,  tliis  Douglas  was  a  huge  raw-boned  boat- 
swain's mate,  that  Hogged  left-handed,  and  had 
also  a  peculiar  jerk  in  his  manner  of  laying  on 
tlie  cat-o'- nine -tails,  that  always  brought  away 
with  it  little  knohs  of  flesh  wherever  the  knobs 
fell,  and  so  neatly,  that  blood  would,  at  every 
blow,  spout  from  the  wounds  as  from  the  punc- 
ture of  a  lancet.     Besides,  the  torture  was  also 


RATTLIN,  THE  RBEFSR.  95 

doubled  by  first  sGoring  over  the  back  in  one 
direction^  and  the  right-handed  floggers,  coming 
after  in  another,  they  cut  out  the  skin  in  lozenges. 

I  looked  in  the  captain's  fieu^,  and  there  was 
no  mercy ;  I  looked  below,  and  there  appeared 
idmost  as  little  life.  After  the  left-handed 
Scotchman  had  bared  his  brawny  ann  and  mea« 
sured  his  distance,  and  just  as  he  was  about  to 
uplift  it  and  strike,  Daunton  murmured  out, 
^'  Ralph  Rattlin,  I  knew  yoiur  &ther  1  beware,  or 
your  own  blood  will  be  dishonoured  in  me  I" 

"  That  voice !  —they  shall  flog  you  through 
me !"  I'  exchdmed,  and  was  about  to  leap  into 
the  waist  and  cover  him  with  my  arms,  when  I 
was  forcibly  withheld  by  the  officers  aroimd  me, 
whilst  the  captain  roared  out,  '^  He  shall  have 
another  dozen  for  his  impudent  falsehood  — 
boatswain's  mate,  do  yoiur  duty." 

The  terrific  lash,  like  angry  scorpions,  fell 
upon  the  white  and  quivering  flesh,  and  the 
blood  spurted  out  freely.  It  was  a  vengeful 
stroke,  and  loud,  and  long,  and  shrill,  was  the 
scream  that  followed  it.  But,  ere  the  second 
stroke  fell,  the  head  of  the  tortured  one  suddenly 


<t6  KATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

uollapsed  Upon  the  right  shoulder,  and  a  liviil 
hue  spn-ad  rapidly  over  the  fai^  and  breast. 

"  He  ii^  dead '."  said  those  around,  in  a  halS>  J 
hushed  tone. 

The  surgeon  felt  liia  puUe,  and  placed  im^ 
liand  upon  hia  breast  to  seek  for  the  beating  of 
the  heart,  and,  shaking  his  head,  requested  him 
to  be  cast  loose.  He  was  immediately  taken  ta 
the  sick  bay,  but,  with  all  the  skill  of  the  doctori 
his  resuscitation  was,  at  first,  despaired  of,  and 
only  brought  about,  at  length,  with  great  diS>'^P 
culty.  The  fact  was,  not  tliat  he  had  been  flog- 
ged, but  very  nearly  frightened,  to  death. 

And  I  was  utterly  miserable.  The  words  that 
Daunton  had  spoken  at  the  gangway,  and  the 
strange  interest  tliat  I  had  taken  in  his  behalf, 
gave  rise  to  aupiciona  th^t  I  felt  to  be  degrad- 
ing. He  had  declared  himself  to  be  of  my 
blood ;  the  officers  and  orew  construed  the  ex- 
pression as  meaning  my  brother.  I  was  now, 
for  the  first  time,  looked  coldly  upon  :  I  felt 
myself  avoided.  Such  conduct  is  chilling — too 
often  fatal  to  the  young  and  proud  heart ; 
it  will  rise  indignant  at  an  insult,  but  guarded 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  97 

and  polite  contumely,  and  long  and  civil  neglect, 
wither  it.  I  was  fiEist  sinking  into  an  habitual 
despondency.  This  confounded  Joshua  had  pre- 
viously completely  ruined  my  outward  man : 
the  inward  man  was  in  great  danger  from  his 
conduct,  perhaps  his  machinations.  I  was  shunned 
with  a  studied  contempt  j  the  more  particularly 
as  my  messmates  were  the  subjects  of  the  con- 
stant jibes  of  the  captain  and  the  other  officers, 
which  messmates  were  of  an  unanimous  opinion 
that  Master  Joshua  ought  to  have  been  hung, 
inasmuch  as  it  is  now  apparent  that  their  ruined 
apparel  was  all  derivable  from  his  malice  and  his  * 
"  Practice  of  Chemistry  made  easy."  They 
all  panted  with  impatience  for  his  convalescence, 
in  order  that  they  might  see  Mr.  Rattlin's  elder 
brother  receive  the  remainder  of  his  six  dozen. 

I  verily  believe  that,  as  I  approached  my 
native  shores,  I  should  have  fallen  into  a  settled 
depression  of  spirits,  which  would  have  terminated 
in  melancholy  madness,  had  I  not  been  roused 
to  exert  my  moral  energies  and  awaken  my  half 
entombed  pride  by  a  stinging  and  a  very  whole- 
some insult. 

VOL.  III.  F 


S8  RATTLIS.  THE  RKCFER. 

As  eoon  as  we  were  ordered  borne,  Captain 
Reud's  mental  aberratiaas  became  le^  frequent, 
but,  wlien  they  supervened,  tliey  were  more  ex- 
travagant in  their  nature.  He  grew  aguish, 
fretful,  and  cruel.  Though  he  never  spoke  to 
me  liarslily,  he  addressed  me  more  rarely.  I 
had  not  dined  with  liim  for  a  long  while  i  bf 
had  taken  the  mysterious  destruction  of  mj 
wardrobe  as  a  \~alid  excuse;  and  had  gone  so  fiu, 
on  one  occasion,  in  a  very  delicate  manner,  as  to 
present  me  with  a  complete  change  of  linen,' 
which  perished  like  the  rest,  under  the  provident 
care  of  Joshua.  But,  after  the  claim  of  relation- 
ship by  that  very  timid  personage,  there  was  no 
consideration  in  Read's  look ;  and,  whenever  be 
did  speak  to  me,  there  was  a  contemptuous  harsh- 
ness in  his  tone  that  would  have  very  much 
wounded  my  feelings  at  any  other  time.  But, 
just  then,  I  took  but  little  notice  of  and  interest 
in  any  thing. 

When  I  say  that  we  were  reduced  to  rags  in 
our  liabiliments,  the  reader  is  not  to  take  the 
words  au  pied  de  lettre.  By  taking  up  slops 
frran  the  purser,  and  by  aid  of  the  ship's  tailor, 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER*  99 

we  had  been  enabled  to  walk  the  quarter-deck 
without  actual  holes  in  our  dress;  but,  the 
dresses  themselves  were  grotesque,  for  the  imita- 
tion of  oiur  spruce  imiform  was  villanous,  and 
our  hats  were  deplorable;  they  were  greased 
with  oil,  and  broken,  and  sewed,  and  formless, 
or  rather  multiform :  bad  as  were  our  fittings 
out,  we  had  not  enough  of  them. 

One  morning,  as  we  were,  with  oiur  convoy, 
approaching  the  chops  of  the  channel,  we  fell  in 
with  a  frigate,  one  of  his  majesty's  cruisers. 
I  was  walking  sulkily  up  and  down  the  gangway, 
that  is,  that  portion  of  the  deck  that  divides  the 
quarter-deck  from  the  forecastle.  Captain  Reud 
was  on  deck  with  most  of  his  officers,  all  very  anx- 
ious to  hear  news  of  England,  and  get  the  sight 
of  an  English  newspaper.  The  ships  ranged  up 
within  hail  of  each  other ;  and,  after  the  usual 
queries,  and  three  or  four  newspapers,  made  heavy 
with  musket-balls,  had  been  thrown  on  board, 
the  following  dialogue  between  the  two  frigates 
took  place  in  the  persons  of  their  respective  cap- 
tains, Reud  saying : 

"  I  wish  you'd  lower  your  gig,  and  come  on 
board  and  lunch."  f  2 


100  BJiTTUIN,  THE  KEErCB 

"  If  3fou  command  it,  of  coiu-Be." 

"  Oh,  no,  no ! —  I  am  not  going  to  hoift  the 
commodore's  broad  pennant,  but  I  really  wiA 
you'd  come.     We  can  jog  on  under  easy  sail." 

"  \Vliy,  reallv,  Captain  Reud,  the  sea  is  nthet 
high  —  and  don't  you  see  the  Mother  CsreyV 
chicken  astern  of  you  ?" 

By  a  particular  hitch  of  his  gait,  and  a  peculiar 
twisting  up  of  lib  nose,  I  pereeiiied  tlie  fit  of 
mischief  or  insanity  was  coming  on  poor  ReiuL 
The  frayed  chord  had  been  itruck.  He  grinned, 
he  fenced  with  his  speaking  trumpet,  he  shoved 
the  mouth  of  it  in  the  first  lieutenant's  ribs, 
begged  his  pardon  with  a  very  gentlemanly  air, 
and  then,  giving  it  a  whirling  flourish,  that  met 
and  fetched  blood  from  the  tip  of  the  marine 
officer's  nose,  he  placed  it  in  his  mouth,  and  con- 
tinued— 

"  Talking  about  Mother  Carey's  chicken^ 
Captain  Reeves,  I  think  I'll  tempt  you  on  board. 
I  have  got  seven  of  the  most  curious  ornitholo- 
gical specimens  in  my  ship  that  a  naturalist  ever 
beheld." 

"  Have  you,  indeed  ?"  eaid  Captain  Reevos, 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  101 

who  fieincied  hiifiself  a  great  naturalist.  **  Pipe 
the  gigs  away— be  with  you  m  a  moment,  Cap- 
tain Reud,   Pray,  may  I  inquire  of  what  genus  ?  " 

"The  genus  Corvus,'*  said  Reud,  jumping 
down  from  the  hammock  nettings.  "  Send  for 
all  the  yo\mg  gentlemen,  just  as  they  are,  into 
my  cabin: — bring  them  up  immediately — ^the 
mate  of  the  lower  deck  also— there's  Mr.  Rattlin 
on  the  gangway.^ 

Obedience  always  treads  upon  theheels  of  com- 
mand  on  board  of  a  man-of-war.  Long  before 
Captedn  Reeves  was  alongside,  our  gang  of  seven 
miserably-looking  famished  reefers  was  ranged 
up  side  by  side  in  the  fore-cabin,  whilst  the 
steward  and  servants  were  heaping  the  table 
with  all  the  appurtencuices  of  a  glorious  luncheon. 

"  What  does  the  captain  want  with  us?^  ^d 
one. 
'  "Ask  us  to  lunch." 

"Pooh! — how  could  you,  Pigtop,  come  up 
such  a  figure?" 

"  Come,  Staines,  let  the  kettle  keep  a  clean 
tongue  in  its  mouth,  and  not  call J' 

"  ril  tell  you  what  it  is,"  said  another,  "  the 


102 


RATTLIN,  THE  RKSfEK. 


captain  is  going  to  change  the  whole  batch  of  ua 
as  a  bad  bargain.  I  want  to  get  to  England  — 
I  won't  go." 

"  Nor  I.*' 

**  Yes,"  said  I,  '*  my  loving  biends,  ta  sun 
as,  we  stand  here,  a  ragged  r^tniient  of  reafef^ 
that  the  gwabwosher'^  assistant  would  be  aafaaBMit 
to  march  through  tlie  Point  or  Conuntm  H«4 
with,  )ie  is  going  to  introduce  us  and  all  oar 
perfections  to  C^tain  Reeves." 

•*  If  1  thought  so,  I'd  bdU" 

"  Bolt,"  said  Pigtop,  "  I  should  like  to  bolt 
that  fowl." 

"  No  sooner  said  than  done,"  said  anoAer, 
advancing  to  the  tempting  delicacy.  The  steward 
and  servants  had  left  the  cabin,  having  completed 
their  arrangements. 

"  Stop— let  us  have  no  pilfering.  This  is  one 
of  Reud's  pranks — 1  think  that  /  was  invited  to 
lunch  with  the  captain.  Mr.  Pigtop,  will  you 
take  the  chair  ? — tliat  is  to  say,  if  you  think  that 
you  were  invited,  also — you  know  it  is  a  matter 
of  conscience." 

"  I  think  I  was." 


HATTUN*  THE  REEFER.  103 

"  I  am  sure  of  it." 

"  Well,  we  have  no  time  to  lose — to  your 
chairs,  gentlemen.  Heavens  I  they  are — that 
is  to  say,  the  rest  of  the  guests — are  coming. 
Permit  me  to  propose,  in  his  absence,  the  health 
of  our  gallant  commander,  with  three  times  three 
— hip,  hip,  hip,  hurrah ! " 

Captains  Reud,  Reeves,  and  our  first  lieute- 
nant, entered  at  the  moment  that  we  were  all 
standing  with  inverted  glasses.  The  positions 
of  the  three  gentlemen  as  they  entered  were  quite 
theatriccd.  Mr.  Farmer  had  smothered  his 
laughter  by  clapping  his  hand  over  his  mouth  ; 
Captain  Reeves  looked  very  droll  and  very  much 
puzzled;  Captain  Reud,  our  own  inestimable 
commander,  looked  reaUy  frightful.  The  im- 
pudence  was  utterly  beyond  his  comprehension. 
His  wild  looks  so  much  alarmed  my  messmates, 
that  they  slunk  away  like  a  parcel  of  cravens 
from  the  table;  as  for  myself,  just  tlien,  I 
neither  feared  nor  cared  for  anything.  The 
explosion  took  place  thus,  a  rather  hard  substi- 
tution for  "  Gentlemen,  for  the  honour  that  you 
have  done  me  in  my  absence — " 


> 


lO-l  RATTLIS,  THE  REEFI£K. 

"  V'ou,  Rattlin  " — Mr,  Rattlin,  over  the  glass 
he  had  jiist  emptied,  bowed,  standiog  in 
place— "you  rascals! — how  dare — dare  you  to 
steal  my  wme  ?  " 

"  Sir,  I  stand  here  as  your  guest —wiling  1 
be  requested  to  be  seated.  The  impression  upon 
my  mind  was,  that  I  ^-as  asked  into  the  cabin 
to  lunctieon.  It  is  seldom  tliat  so  many  mid- 
sliipmen  find  themselves  collected  together  at  ■ 
their  captain's  table,  no  other  officer  being  pre- 
sent. Tlie  situation  was  novel.  I  hope.  Cap- 
tain Reud,  tlial  jiiu  will  not  make  it  unpleasant. 
We  seized  the  golden  opportunity,  very  fer- 
vently, to  drink  your  health,  with  due  honours, 
in  your  absence.  /  am  conscious  of  no  oflence, 
without  too  much  devotion  to  my  commander 
may  be  construed  into  one.  What  my  mess- 
mates may  think  of  their  conduct,  by  their 
desertion  from  your  table,  it  is  not  for  me  to 
say.  As  yet,  I  do  not  feel  unworthy  of  a  place 
at  it.  If  there  has  been  any  little  mistake 
in  tlie  invitation,  I  shall  be  most  anxious  to 
retire." 

During  tliis  impertinent  speech  of  mine,  the 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  105 

offspring  of  utter  recklessness  as  to  consequences, 
I  had,  without  moving  from  my  place  at  the 
table,  fixed  my  eyes  composedly  on  Captain 
Reud.  I  did  not  mean  the  expression  of  them 
to  be  insulting,  nor  did  I  wish  it  to  be  suppli- 
catory. Whatever  it  might  have  been,  it  had 
the  effect  of  gradually  dispersing  the  angry  scowl 
from  his  brow,  though  a  certain  degree  of  stem- 
ness  still  remained.  When  I  had  finished,  ex- 
pecting of  course  to  be  imder  an  arrest,  or  sent 
to  the  mast-head,  I  was  surprised,  and  a  good 
deal  gratified,  by  hearing  him  say  distinctly, 
though  not  very  cordially — 

"  Mr.  Rattlin,  you  know  your  place  —  your 
messmates  know  their*s.  Captain  Reeves,  Mr. 
Farmer,  Rattlin,  pray  be  seated." 

The  half  dozen  of  poltroons  all  stood  hud- 
dled together,  like  a  small  flock  of  intimidated 
sheep,  between  the  two  guns  in  the  cabin,  right 
opposite  me,  I  was  tolerably  hungry,  and  yet 
I  enjoyed  the  tantalized  expression  of  the  coun- 
tenances of  the  renegades,  qxiite  as  much  as  the 
good  viands  with  which  I  so  plentifully  supplied 
myself. 

f5 


) 


106  SATTLIM,  THE  BKETSR. 

The  wine  circulated.  Captain  Reud  grew  gn- 
cious,  and  Captain  Reeves  impatient  to  view  tha 
seven  curious  ornithological  speciraens  of  thfl 
genus  Corvus,  tliat  Iiis  host  had  brought  with 
liim  from  the  West.  I  guessed  what  was  com- 
ing, which  prevented  my  warming  towards  my 
captain,  with  his  returning  kindness. 

Captain  Reeves  could  talk  of  nothing  else  hut 
birds,  and  of  these  particular  seven  birds. 
'  Where  were  they  ?' 

"  Ob  1  close  at  hand." 

"  Large  ?" 

"  Stand  from  five  to  six  feet  high." 

"  Good  God  !  they  must  eat  enormously/' 

"  Voraciously,"  and  here  the  wicked  Creole 
gave  me  a  right  jovial  look.  "  They  are  a  great 
expense  to  me,  as  well  as  annoyance." 

"  But  birds  of  this  size  must  be  very  heavy 
on  the  wing.  In  their  natural  State  do  they 
fly?" 

"  Sluggishly  enough ;  but  I  have  seen  them 
very  often  aloft." 

Tlie  naturalist  was  completely  mystified ;  but 
our  host  would  not  produce  them,  as  he  said. 


RATTLIN»  THE  REEFER.  107 

that,  when  his  curiosity  was  gratified,  he  should 
DO  longer  have  the  pleasure  of  his  company,  and 
the  happiness  of  passing  the  decanters  to  him.  It 
was  in  vain  that  Captain  Reud  endeavoured  to 
lead  him  to  speak  of  subjects  interesting  to  per- 
sons about  to  visit  England,  after  the  space  of 
more  than  three  years.  He  could  speak  of  no- 
thing but  the  genus  Corvus. 

"  Upon  my  word.  Captain  Reud,*'  said  he, 
'^  I  don't  wish  to  seem  impatient,  but  the  wind 
is  freshening.  I  long  to  be  on  board.  I  wish  I 
could  take  one  of  these  huge  specimens  with  me." 

'*  You  are  heartily  welcome  to  the  whole 
batch.'* 

*^  Thank  you,  Captain  Reud,"  said  I,  rising 
and  making  him  my  best  bow. 

'^  Sharp  lad,  upon  my  soul !"  said  Reud. 

"  Thank  you  heartily,  and  very  kindly,  too.  I 
will  write  a  treatise  upon  them,"  said  Reeves. 

"  I  should  like  to  read  it,"  said  I,  turning  to 
the  naturalist. 

"  You  shall,  my  good  boy,  you  shall,"  said 
he,  patting  me  very  kindly  on  the  head.  '^  He 
is  a  sharp  lad,  indeed,  Captain  Reud ;  he  wishes 


108  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

to  read  ray  treatise.  Aft^r  this  treatite  is  finklieJ, 
1  shall  send  all  the  specimens  to  tlu)  Lmnxan 
Socie^,  of  which  I  am  an  uniooWAy  member," 
(with  a  great  emphasis  on  the  word  unwortlij). 
"  I  will  first  send  them  to  Pidcock's  menagerie," 
{there  were  uo  Zoological  Gaxdens  tlien),  "  with 
a  perfect  understanding,  that,  when  they  are 
dead,  they  shall  be  well  stuffed." 

"  They  would  much  rather  be  stufied  aUve," 
said  Reud,  all  glee,  tor  he  was  now  in  his  elonent. 
Our  first  heutenant  was  totally  in  the  dark,  and 
looked  silly  in  trying  to  look  sapient.  Piglop 
and  company,  between  the  guns,  were  staring 
like  those  white,  delicate- looking  monsters  with 
four  feet,  that  own  so  many  pettitoes,  so  general 
in  poulterer's  shops  about  Christmas,  with  re- 
markably protuberant  eyes.  Who  could  mention 
a  stuck  pig,  in  these  days  of  refinement,  under  a 
less  redundant  paraphrase  ? 

"  A  joke,  of  course  —  a  very  good  joke,"  said 
the  learned  in  ornithology.  "  A  very  good  joke 
in  a  goose's  mouth.  I've  seen  it  before  aome- 
where — but  never  mind.  However,  seeing  whence 
it  came,  it  will  do." 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  109 

«  But  I  rather  think,"  said  Reud,  "  that  these 
birds  would  not  like  to  be  stuffed  when  they  are 
dead." 

<<  Nonsense — but  what  do  they  care  about  it  ? 
By-the-by,  now  you  have  got  them  on  board, 
and  in  a  state  of  confinement,  do  they  still  carry 
on  the  process  of  incubation  ?" 

^^  Continually.  They  are  all  day  and  all  night 
long  hatching — " 

"  Gracious  heavens !  what  ?'* 

«  Mischief." 

"  You  are  laughing  at  me  —  pray  let  me  see 
them  at  once." 

"  In  the  first  place,  permit  ine  to  retract  my 
offer  of  the  whole  —  you  are  welcome  to  six  of 
them  heartily;  and  I  wish  that  I  may  induce 
you  to  take  them  away  —  filthy  creatures !  The 
seventh  I  shall  retain  for  the  sake  of  past  good 
feelings ;  though  I  begin  to  suspect  that  he  is  not 
quite  of  so  good  a  breed  as  I  once  thought  him/' 

This  was  wormwood  to  me.  With  a  flushed 
brow  I  rose  from  my  chair,  and  I  cursed,  in  my 
heart,  Joshua  Daunton  and  his  plausible  tongue. 
I  shall  not  even  thank  you.  Captain  Reud, 


tf 


1 10  RATTUN,  THE  RZBPBB. 

for  the  preference,"  said  I,  "  but  request  ihot  I 
may  be  caged  off  with  the  lot." 

Reud,  seeing  tliat  the  equivoque  could  be 
carried  no  farther,  explained,  "  Don't  be  a  fool, 
RatUin,  but  sit  down.  Captain  Reeves,  theee 
seven  ornithological  curiosities  are  of  the  generic 
description  Corvus,  or  crow,  their  specific  term, 
scare  —  tliere  is  one  beside  you,  and  tlie  other 
six  are  between  the  guns.  If  you  have  seen 
finer  specimens  of  icareerrrwt,  I'll  eat  Uiem,  when 
you  liave  roasted  tliem  as  welt  8£  I  tiave  roasted 
you." 

And  then  he  indulged  for  a  minute  in  his  low, 
venomous  giggle,  that  seemed  to  be  the  most 
perfect  enjoyment  of  which  his  malicious  bos(»n 
was  capable. 

"  Captain  Reud,"  smd  I,  "  tell  me,  sir,  when, 
not  seven  months  ago,  I  stood  between  you  tmd 
death,  did  I  show  any  white  feather  P" 

"  On  my  soul,  you  did  not," 

"  Then,  sir,  let  me  tell  you  —  as  far  as  I  am 
concerned  —  I  find  your  joke  as  deficient  in  wit 
as  it  is  bad  in  taste." 

"  Stop  —  beware — " 


RATTLIN,  THE  RKBFER. 


in 


*M  am  quite  of  the  same  opinion  with  the 
young  scarecrow  that  has  just  cawed/'  said  Cap- 
tain Reeves^  who  was  a  grave  man^  and  who 
never  could  see  any  point  in  a  joke  against  him- 
self. With  your  permission  I  will  return  on 
boards  and  look  after  my  own  poultry." 

So,  after  a  formal  exchange  of  bows,  the 
strange  conunander  left  the  cabin,  Reud  halloo- 
ing out  to  him  as  he  left,  "  You  won't  forget 
the  treatise,  Reeves/' 


RATTLIN,  TRt  RSBFER. 


A  disserlatioQ  on  naval  glory — Rdph  fallelh  into  disgian, 
and  6adeth  the  marcli  of  bis  niieries  arrested,  hy  being 
himself  put  uuder  an  arrest — A  fine  ibip  run  6ofn,  and 
nobodf  to  blame  but  "the  Reefer." 


Thk  incident  recorded  in  the  last  chapter  will 
be  read  as  a  fiction — but  it  is  feet,  unexa^erated 
fact,  as  to  the  circumstances,  though  a  little  fined 
down  in  the  relation ;  for  the  broad  coarseness  of 
the  scene,  as  it  was  really  acted,  would  be  deemed 
too  improbable,  even  for  ferce.  It  was  events 
like  these,  and  the  previous  overstraining  of  the 
mind,  that  fully  determined  me  to  take  the  first 
opportunity  of  quitting  the  service  —  not  in  dis- 
gust at  it,  for  it  was  even  then,  in  its  unimproved 
state,  a  beautiful  one — but  it  had,  and  still  hath, 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  113 

its  anomalies :  they  are  but  few,  and  I  had  stum- 
bled upon  the  worst  of  them.  It  was  very  sin- 
gular, but  no  less  true,  since  the  self-introduction 
of  Joshua  Daunton,  I  had  never  been  happy, 
and  never  fortunate. 

Through  the  rude  and  the  cold  flying  mists 
of  winter,after  we  had  struck  soundings,  we  again 
saw  England.  It  was  in  the  inclement  month 
of  January.  I  was  starved  and  half  clad.  A 
beggar  of  any  decent  pretension,  had  he  met  me 
in  the  streets  of  London,  would  have  taken  the 
wall  of  me,  though  I  had,  at  the  time,  more  than 
three  himdred  dollars  in  cash,  Spanish  doubloons 
and  silver,  a  power  for  drawing  bills  for  a  hun- 
dred a  year,  more  than  three  years'  pay  due,  and 
prize-money  to  a  very  considerable  amount. 

Under  these  circiunstances,  my  eyes  once  more 
greeted  my  native  land.  WTiere  were  my  glow 
of  patriotism  and  my  passion  of  poetry  ?  ITiey 
were  not.  I  saw  nothing  before  me  but  a  black, 
a  barren,  and  a  forbidding  coast.  I  endeavoured 
to  fix  my  mind  upon  the  fields  over  which  I  had 
bounded  in  my  boyhood — I  measured  them  in 
my  mind's  eye,  hedge  by  hedge — ^they  were  dis- 


KATTUK,  THX  UtSFBK.  I 


tioct  enough,  but  there  ms  m 
iitm.  Alas !  I  had  eten  a  bngfater  boq  else~ 
where.  Aod  the  fiiends  that  had  been  kind  to 
the  luunnied  one  at  StkkenbstB — ye^  I  mnibt 
BM  thetn.  But  I  bad  no  lo^er  the  frank  beoil 
tu  c^r.  Yes,  1  would  seek  tbem,  and  be  rokt 
and  Etudiously  polite.  I  fblt  that  I  had  not  suc- 
ceeded in  my  professoo,  ivith  what  /Aey  wooU 
call  niccess.  I  had  done  my  duty,  and  perhape 
dcHie  it  with  high  promise.  Good,  easy  soqI«  I 
I  am  Bure  they  fancied  that  1  ahould  bave  n* 
turned  something — perhaps  a  iittle  — short  of 
an  admiral,  but  not  very  much. 

I  should  like  to  know  how  a  midshipman  is  to 
distinguish  himself,  otherwise  than  by  doing  his 
duty  honourably  and  strictly,  and  that  is  no  dis- 
tinction at  all,  for  they  almost  all  do  it.  "  I  wish 
we  may  have  some  brilliant  action,"  says  one  of 
the  uninitiated,  "  for  I  wish  to  distinguish  my- 
self." "  Very  well,  ray  young  aspirant" — which 
used,  by-the-by,  to  be  the  corresponding  term 
for  midshipman  in  the  French  language—"  very 
well,  my  young  sir ;  here  you  are,  in  your  fri- 
gate, alongside  a  heavier  vessel  than  your  own. 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  115 

Nay,  it  shall  be  a  seventy-four,  if  you  please,  all 
for  your  particular  honour  and  glory.  There 
you  are,  stationed  ajb  the  four  after-guns  on  the 
main-deck.  Blaze  away,  and  distinguish  your- 
self now.'*  "  O  dear  !  I  can't,  for  the  smoke, 
and  the  smother,  and  the  noise.  1  can't  perform 
any  heroical  act  here."  ^  Well,  but  what  can 
you  do  for  your  country  and  his  majesty  ?'*  "1 
can  only  see  that  the  men  train  their  guns  well, 
and  that  they  are  properly  supplied  with  powder 
and  shot  —  this  will  never  get  my  name  in  the 
gazette."  "  Only  do  that  well,  sir,  and  you  will 
distinguish  yourself.  Never  mind  the  gazette ; 
your  turn  will  come  when  you  are  a  skipper,  even, 
perhaps,  when  a  lieutenant." 

The  same  applies  to  the  young  gentlemen, 
station  them  where  you  will.  Gouty  old  gentle- 
men, who  have  sons  at  sea,  and  are  prone  to  read 
the  lives  ef  Nelson  and  of  our  many  other  noble 
naval  heroes,  must  rid  themselves  of  the  illusion 
of  seeing  the  darlings  of  their  hopes  start  away 
from  their  obscure  yet  important  quarters,  jump 
up  in  the  feces  of  the  enemy,  flourish  valorously 
their  little  dirks,  lead  the  boarders  over  a  hand- 


I  It  BATTUN,  THE  RESFER. 

Spike  bam  ship  to  ship,  put  the  Fitacb  captain, 
surrounded  by  his  officer^  to  the  sword,  haul 
down  the  tricolor  with  his  own  hands,  and  finally 
exclaim — *'  Hurrah  for  glory  and  Old  England '," 
r  say,  elderly  ladies,  and  gentlemen  as  dderiy, 
inust  not  expect  this,  notwithstanding  their  own 
folly,  and  some  very  funny  na\>al  novels  that  have 
been  published.  People  must  not  desert  their 
stations  in  action,  even  to  do  little  Uts  of  glorious 
heroism.  The  whole  fraternity  of  reefers  ought 
to  thank  me  for  this  digresuon. 

Thus,  in  the  naval-novel  sense  of  the  word, 
I  had  not  distinguished  myself.  My  name  had 
certainly  appeared  some  few  times  in  the  captain's 
depatches,  to  the  effect  that  "Mr.  Rattlin,  in 
the  cutter,  had  gallantly  supported  Lieutenant 
Selhy,  in  cutting  out  a  schooner,"  &c.  Glory ! 
what  did  the  world  at  large  care  about  the  paltry 
schooner,  or  the  unknown  lieutenant,  who  really 
did  a  prodigy  of  valour  ? — or  the  infinitely  more 
insignificant  "  Mr.  Rattlin,  who  gallantly  sup- 
ported the  said  lieutenant  in  the  cutter  ?"  But  of 
all  this  I  do  not  complain.  It  is  just  as  it  should 
be — only — only  I  wish  that  our  discriminating 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.         117 

coimtiymen  should  comprehend  what  a  vast 
amount  of  unrecorded  heroism  goes  to  make  up 
even  a  single  victory — heroism  which  is  not,  but 
ought  to  be,  glory. 

I  got  into  disgrace.  I  record  it  frankly,  as 
my  boast  is,  throughout  this  biography,  to  have 
spoken  the  truth  of  all  the  different  variations  of 
my  life.  Since  the  captain's  incipient  insanity, 
the  Eos  had  gradually  become  an  ill-regulated 
ship.  The  gallant  first  lieutenant,  formerly  so 
smart  and  so  active,  had  not  escaped  the  general 
demoralization.  He  was  a  disappointed  man. 
He  had  not  distinguished  himself.  God  knows, 
it  was  neither  for  want  of  daring  nor  expense  of 
life.  He  had  cut  out  every  thing  that  could  be 
carried,  and  had  attempted  almost  every  thing 
that  could  not.  I  am  compelled  to  say  that  these 
bloody  onslaughts  were  as  often  failures  as  suc- 
cesses. He  was  no  nearer  his  next  step  on  the 
ladder  of  promotion  than  before.  His  temper 
became  soured,  and  he  was  now  often  lax,  some- 
times unjust,  and  always  irritable,  ITie  other 
officers  shared  in  the  general  falling  off,  and  too 
often  made  the  quarter-deck  a  display  for  temper. 


UTTU)i.  rax.  UKrsB. 


Tbp  tfaifd  ligirtMMnt — fea,  I  Unnk  it  ww  d 
tfaM — faard  mast-hmM  dm^  iboet  Ae  9 

I  had  la£^  V  ftflected  to  ^rp  tbe  f 

Bfitan  I  wvnt  akA  to  mj"  i 
,  I  rtprcMnted  to  hhn  tbat  I  had  tlie  bA 
iratch ;  that  there-  wiere  now  about  three  of  tfa» 
jvnt^  gentlemen  doing  tbeir  duty,  tbe  tithns 
bavh:^  nrv  wisely  &UeQ  ill,  and  taken  tibe  pra- 
tectioD  of  the  sick-list.  I  told  htm,  mpedftiO; 
emngh, '  that,  if  he  kept  me  up  in  that  diaagn*- 
able  EtatioD  &om  half-pest  6n  till  eight,  I  coold 
not  possibly  do  my  duty,  for  very  weariness,  froin 
eight  till  midnight.  It  was  a  physical  impoesi- 
bility,'  But  he  was  inexorable.  Up  1  went, 
the  demon  of  all  evil  passions  gnawing  at  my 
heart. 

It  was  almost  dark  when  I  went  aloft.  It  was 
a  gusty,  dreary  night,  bitterly,  very  bitterly,  cold. 
I  was  ill  clad.  At  intervals,  the  fierce  and  frozen 
drifte,  like  the  stings  of  so  many  wasps,  drove 
fiercely  into  my  face  ;  and  I  believe  that  1  must 
confess  that  I  cried  over  my  crooked  and  aching 
fingers,  as  the  circulation  went  on  with  agony,  or 


RATTLIN.  THE  REEFER.  1  ]9 

stopped  with  numbness.  It  is  true,  I  was  called 
down  within  the  hour }  but  that  hour  of  suffering 
had  done  me  much  constitutional  mischief,  I 
was  stupified  as  much  as  if  I  had  committed  a 
debauch  upon  fSett  ale.  However,  I  was  too 
angi7  to  complam,  or  to  seek  reUef  from  the 
surgeon.  I  went  on  deck  at  half-past  eight,  with 
obtuse  faculties  and  a  reckless  heart 

The  frigate  was,  with  a  deeply -laden  convoy, 
attempting  to  hold  her  course  in  the  chops  of  the 
channel.  It  blew  very  hard.  The  waves  were 
bounding  about  us  with  that  short  and  angry 
leap  peculiar,  in  tempestuous  weather,  to  the 
narrow  seas  between  England  and  France.  It 
was  excessively  dark;  and,  not  carrying  sufficient 
sail  to  tack,  we  were  wearing  the  ship  every  half 
hour,  showing,  of  course,  the  proper  signal  lights 
to  the  convoy.  We  carried  also  the  customary 
poop-light  of  the  commodore. 

Such  was  the  state  of  affairs  at  a  little  after 
nine.  The  captain,  the  first  lieutenant,  the 
master,  the  officer  of  the  watch,  and  the  channel 
pilot,  that  we  had  taken  on  board  off  the  Scilly 
Islands,  with  myself,  were  all  on  deck.     Both 


iSO  BATTLIS.TIIE  BKEFCS. 

the  signal  midBhipmen  were  rajojing  the  ram- 
&cte  of  dckDess  in  tbeir  waim  hammocks  beknr, 
Now,  1  will  endeavour  to  give  a  ^tfafbl  accofuit 
of  what  haj^teoed;  aixl  l«t  the  unprejudicfd 
determine,  in  the  borrible  calamity  that  ei^^ued, 
how  much  blame  was  feirly  attributable  to  me. 
1  must  premise  that,  owing  to  shortness  of  niuc- 
ber,  even  when  all  were  weU>  there  was  do  fbr^ 
castle  midEhipman. 

A  dreadful  gust  of  ic;  wind,  aocampanied  iff 
the  arrowy  sleet,  rushes  aft,  rather  beading  ub. 

"  The  wind  is  getting  more  round  to  the  east 
We  'd  better  wear  at  once,"  said  the  pilot  to  the 
master. 

"  The  pilot  advises  us  to  wear,"  said  the  mas- 
ter to  the  captain. 

"  Mr.  Farmer,"  said  the  captain  to  the  first 
lieutenant,  "watch  and  idlers,  wear  ship." 

"  Mr.  Pond,"  said  Mr.  Farmer  to  the  lieute- 
nant of  the  watch,  (a  diminutive  and  peppery 
little  man,  with  a  squeaking  voice,  and  remark* 
able  for  nothing  else  excepting  having  a  large 
wife  and  a  large  family,  whom  he  was  impatient 
to  see), "  wear," 


I 


\ 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  121 

"  Mr.  Rattlin/'  squeaked  Mr,  Pond  through 
his  trumpet,  "  order  the  boatswain's  mate  to  turn 
the  watch  and  idlers  up — ^wear  ship." 

"Boatswain's  mate,"  bawled  out  the  sleepy 
and  sulky  Mr.  Rattlin,  **  watch  and  idlers,  wear 
ship." 

"  Ay,  ay,  sir  —  whew,  whew,  whittle  whew — 
watch  and  idlers,  wear  ship !  Tumble  up  there, 
tumble  up.  Master-at-arms,  brush  up  the  bone- 
polishers." 

"  What  an  infarnal  nonsensical  ceremony  !" 
growled  the  pilot,  sotie  voce  ;  "  all  bawl  and  no 
haul — lucky  we've  plenty  of  sea-room." 

"Jump  aft,  Mr.  Rattlin,"  said  the  captain,    ' 
"  and  see  that  the  convoy  signal  to  wear  is  all 
right." 

Mr.  Rattlin  makes  one  step  aft. 

"Is  the  fore-topmast  staysail  halliards  well 
manned,  Mr.  Rattlin? — Jump  forward  and  see," 
s£dd  the  officer  of  the  watch. 

Mr.  Rattlin  makes  one  step  forward. 

"  Js  the  deep  sea-lead  ready  ?"  said  the  mas- 
ter.    "  Mr.   Rattlin,  jump  into  the  chains  and 


ScV. 


VOL.  III. 


123  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFEK.  * 

Mr.  Rattlin  makes  one  Etep  to  tbe  light — $bu^ 
board,  the  wise  cal  liU 

"  Mr.  Rattlin,  wbat  the  devil  are  you  ^Mot? 
— ^Where's  the  hand  Etatiooed  to  the  foresbeet  ?* 
said  the  first  Ueutensnt.    "  Jump  there  and  s^e." 

Mr.  RattUa  mak^  one  step  to  the  left  hand, 
— porl,  the  wise  call  it. 

'*  Where's  the  midshipman  o'  th'  watch— 
Where's  the  midehiptnan  o'  th'  watch  ?"  roaisout 
the  captain.  "  By  Heavens,  there's  no  li^t  to 
show  over  the  bows  1  Mr.  Battlin,  be  smai^  ar, 
— ^jump  forward,  and  see  to  it." 

The  chilled,  the  torpid,  and  half-stupified  Mr. 
Rattlin  finally  went  forward  on  the  forecastle, 
where  he  ought  to  have  been  from  the  first,  the 
more  especially  as  the  boatswain  was  also  on  the 
sick  list. 

The  consequence  of  all  these  multitudinous 
and  alraoEt  simultaneous  orders  —  to  jump  and 
see,  when,  by-tlie-by,  it  was  too  dark  to  see  any- 
thing a  yard  off  properly — was,  that  one  of  the 
signal  lanterns  was  blown  out,  and  the  signal 
consequently  imperfect  —  that  the  fore-topmast 
staysail  halliards  were  so  badly  manned,  that 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.         123 

those  upon  them  could  scarcely  start  th^t  then 
necessary  sail  from  its  netting — ^that  the  people 
were  not  ready  with  the  deep  sea-lead — that 
little  Mr.  Pond  was  obliged  to  put  down  his 
trumpet,  and  ease  off  the  foresheet  himself  till 
relieved  by  the  quarter-master ;  but,  still,  there 
actually  was  a  lantern  over  the  bows,  and  that 
in  good  time. 

Well,  the  noble  ship  was  no  longer  bufieted  on 
her  bows  by  the  furious  wind :  as  the  haughty 
Essex  turned  on  his  heel  from  the  blow  of  his 
termagant  mistress  queen,  so  did  the  Eos  turn 
her  back  to  the  insulting  blast,  and  flew  rapidly 
before  it.  Owing  to  the  darkness  of  the  night, 
assisted  by  the  weak  voice  of  Mr.  Pond,  whose 
orders  could  not  be  very  distinctly  heahl,  per- 
haps a  little  to  his  lubberly  manner  of  working 
the  ship,  the  bounding  frigate  was  much  longer 
before  the  wind  than  necessary.  I  was  straining 
my  sight  near  the  cathead  on  one  side,  and 
the  captain  of  the  forecastle  on  the  other,  but 
we  could  discover  nothing  in  the  nearly  palpable 
obscure. 

)t  is  an  awful  thing,  this  rushing  through  the 

62 


124  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

darkness  of  a  large  floating  world.  The  planets 
urge  for  ever  their  sublime  course,  but  not  as 
does  a  ship  when  the  veil  of  night  is  on  the  ocean. 
The  glorious  luminaries  travel  through  n?giooi 
of  light,  directed  by  unerring  wisdom,  but  tlie 
ark  of  man  stumbles  and  reels  through  mists  and 
folly,  and  rashness  too  often  stands  at  the  helm. 
And  yet,  I  seldom  viewed  our  frigate  careering 
at  night  through  the  waters,  with  nothing  to  be 
seen  but  these  the  gorgeous  stars  above  her,  but 
I  was  apt  to  fancy  she  was  as  one  of  the  heavenlj' 
brotherhood,  humble  tertainly  in  her  imitation, 
and  lowly  in  her  sphere. 

On  she  dashed,  and  our  anxious  eyes  saw  no- 
thing, whilst  our  minds  feared  greatly; — she  is 
at  her  utmost  speed.  In  her  reckless  course  she 
seems  sufficiently  powerful  to  break  up  the 
stedfast  rock,  or  tear  the  shoal  from  its  roots  at 
the  bottom  of  the  ocean.  On  she  rushes  I  I 
think  I  hear  faintly  the  merchant  cry  of  "Yeo 
— yo — yeo!"  but  the  roar  of  the  vexed  waters 
beneath  our  bows,  and  the  eternal  singing  of  the 
winds  through  the  frost-stiiFened  shrouds,  pre- 
vent my  being  certain  of  the  fact.  But,  I  tremble 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  125 

excessively  —  when,  behold,  a  huge  long  black 
mass  is  lying  lazily  before  us,  and  so  close  that 
we  can  almost  touch  it ! 

"  Hard  a-port,'*  I  roared  out  at  the  very  top 
of  my  voice. 

"  Hard  a-starboard,"  sang  out  the  captain  of 
the  forecastle,  equally  loudly. 

Vain,  vain  were  the  contradictory  orders.  The 
frigate  seemed  to  leap  at  the  object  before  her  as 
at  a  prey ;  and  dire  was  the  crash  that  ensued. 
As  we  may  suppose  the  wrathful  lioness  springs 
upon  the  buffalo,  and,  meeting  more  resistance 
from  its  horny  bulk  than  she  had  suspected,  re- 
coils and  makes  another  spring,  so  did  the  Eos 
strike,  rebound,  then  strike  again.  —  I  felt  two 
distinct  percussions. 

The  second  stroke  divided  the  obstacle ;  she 
passed  through  it  or  over  it,  and  the  eye  looked 
in  vain  for  the  vast  West  Indiaman,  the  bearer 
of  wealth,  and  gay  hopes,  and  youth,  and  infancy, 
manly  strength,  and  female  beauty.  There  was 
a  smothered  feminine  shriek,  hushed  by  the 
whirling  and  down- absorbing  waves,  almost  as 
soon  as  made.     It  was  not  loud,  but  it  was  fear- 


agmtf-vmnigi  wife,  •nd  two  a 

InooMnt  fines  bMide  diem,  were  all  to  titte  faap- 

piiKw  of  their  hopes,  when  the  Degtroyw  w 
upon  them  suddenlv,  tml;  like  a  Etrang  man  in 
tlx;  darkneee  of  nigfat ;  and  they  were  aD  faurinl, 
in  the  midft  of  their  uncensuraUe  revehy,  to  a 
de<!p  grave,  o*er  which  do  tombstone  shaU  ever 
tell  *'  of  their  whereabout," 

Our  ownjib-boom  was  ioapped  off  short,  and  as 
quickly  aa  ia  a  twig  in  frosty  weather.  Supposing 
the  ship  had  struck,  every  eoul  rushed  oa  deck, 
lliey  thanked  God  it  was  onlj/  the  drowning  of 
Home  forty  fellow-creatures,  and  the  destruction 
of  a  fine  merchant- ship.  We  hauled  the  sin^ 
poor  fellow  that  was  eaved  on  board.     The  con- 


RATTLIN,  TH£  REEFER.  127 

sternation  among  the  officers  was  very  great.  It 
blew  too  hard  to  lower  the  boats :  no  effort  was 
or  could  be  made  to  rescue  any  chance  struggler 
not  carried  down  in  the  vortex  of  the  parted  and 
sunken  ship— all  was  blank  horror. 

Besides  the  consternation  and  dismay  natural 
to  the  appalling  accident^  there  was  the  fear  of 
the  underwriters,  and  of  the  owners,  and  of 
damages,  before  the  eyes  of  the  captain.  I  was 
sent  for  aft. 

^^  I  had  not  charge  of  the  deck,"  said  Captain 
Reud,  looking  fiercely  at  the  first  lieutenant. 
^^  I  am  not  responsible  for  this  lubberly  cala- 
mity." 

^^  I  had  not  the  charge  of  the  watch  or  the 
deck  either,"  said  Mr.  Farmer,  in  his  turn 
looking  at  small  Mr.  Pond,  who  was  looking 
aghast ;  ^^  surely,  I  cannot  be  held  to  be  respon- 
sible." 

"  But  you  gave  orders,  sir— I  heard  you  my- 
self give  the  word  to  raise  the  fore-tack — that 
looks  very  like  taking  charge  of  the  deck  —  no, 
no,  /  am  not  responsible." 

^^  Not  so  £Eist,  not  so  fast,  Mr.  Pond.     I  only 


I 


m  SATTUK,  THE 

asRcted  jcpq  far  the  good  of  the  seirtoe,  and  Is 
fine  the  foreauL" 

Mr.  Pood  looked  very  blank  indeed,  until  he 
thought  uf  the  roaster,  and  then  be  reoorered  a 
great  portko)  of  his  usual  vivacity.  SmaD  men 
are  always  vivacious. 

'*  No,  no,  I  am  not  responsible  —  I  was  ooly 
wurluQg  the  ship  under  the  directiuiu  of  tfaa 
master.     Read  the  night  orders,  Mr.  Fairaer.*' 

"The  night  orders  be  d  — ^ !"  said  the  gntt 
old  master. 

"  I  will  not  have  my  night  orders  d— — d," 
Maid  Rcud.  "  Vou  and  the  officer  of  the  watch 
must  share  the  responsibility  between  you." 

"  No  offence  at  aU,  sir,  to  you  or  ttie  night 

orders  either.     I  am  heartily  sorry  1  d d 

Ihem — heartily;  but,  in  the  matter  of  wearing 
this  here  ship  precisely  at  tliat  there  time,  I  only 
acted  under  the  pilot,  who  has  charge  till  we 
are  securely  anchored.  Sure/yc,  1  can't  be  'spon- 
sible." 

"Well,"  said  the  pilot, "  here's  a  knot  of  tan- 
gled rope  yam  — but  that  yam  won't  do  for  old 
Weatherbraee,  for,  d'ye  see,  I'm  a  Sea  William 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  129 

(civilian),  and  not  in  no  ways  under  martial  law 
— and  I'm  only  aboard  this  here  craft  as  respects 
shoals  and  that  like — I'm  clearly  not  'sponsible ! 
— nothing  to  do  in  the  varsal  world  with  working 
her — 'sponsible  !  pooh ! — ^why  did  ye  not  keep  a 
better  look-out  for'ard  ?" 

**  Why,  Mr.  Rattlin,  why?"  said  the  captain, 
the  first  lieutenant,  the  lieutenant  of  the  watch, 
and  the  master. 

"  I  kept  as  good  a  one  as  I  could — the  lan- 
terns were  over  the  bows." 

"  You  may  depend  upon  it^"  said  the  captain, 
^^  that  the  matter  will  not  be  permitted  to  rest  as 
it  is.  The  owners  and  imderwriters  will  demand 
a  court  of  inquiry.  Mr.  Rattlin  had  charge  of 
the  forecastle  at  the  time.  Mr.  Rattlin,  come 
here,  sir.  You  sang  out,  just  before  this  calamity 
happened,  to  port  the  helm." 

"  I  did,  sir." 

"  Quarter-master,"  continued  Reud,  ^  did  you 
port  the  helm  ?  Now,  mind  what  you  say ;  did 
you,  sir  ?  because  if  you  did  not,  six  dozen." 

^  We  did,  sir — ^hard  a-port." 

"  And  the  ship  immediately  after  struck?" 

g5 


I 


130  lUTTLis,  mi  RKEnk. 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  Pooh!  the  caw  is  clear  — W9  De»i  not  talk 
about  it  any  looger.  A  dear  case,  Mr.  FWnm. 
Mr.  RattliQ  has  charge  of  ttie  foneastle  —  faa 
deacri^  a  vessel  a-bead — ha  takes  upon  tom- 
self  to  order  the  belm  a-port,  and  we  ran  over 
and  ank  ber  accordioglj.  H«  is  re^Niosible, 
deaiij." 

"  Cleariy,"  was  the  answering  vcho  fiom  ail 
the  rpJBCtoTB  of  responsibility. 

"  Mr.  Ratliin,  I  am  sorry  for  you.  I  once 
thought  you  a  promising  young  man ;  but,  since 
your  desertion  at  Aniana  —  we  must  not  mince 
matters  now — you  have  become  quite  an  aitered 
character.  You  seem  to  have  lost  aU  zeal  for 
the  service.  Zeal  for  the  service  is  a  thing  that 
ouglit  not  to  be  lost;  for  a  young  gentleman 
without  zeal  for  the  service  is  a  young  gentle- 
man, surely  —  you  understand  me  —  who  is  not 
zealous  in  the  performance  of  his  dut}-.  I  think 
I  have  made  myself  tolerably  clear.  Do  you 
think,  sir,  that  I  should  hold  now  the  ivsponsible 
commission  I  do  hold  under  his  majesty,  if  I  had 
been  without  zeal  for  the  sennce  ?     I  am  sorry 


RATTLIN,  TH£  REEFER.  131 

that  I  have  a  painful  duty  to  perform.  I  must 
place  you  under  an  arrest^  till  I  know  what  may 
be  the  port  admiral's  pleasure  concerning  this 
unpleasant  business ;  for  —  for  the  loss  x)f  the 
Mary  Anne  of  London  you  are  clearly  respon- 
sible/' 

"  Clearly,"  {omnes  rurgus). 

^^  Had  you  sung  out  hard  a-starboard,  instead 
of  hard  a-port,  the  case  might  have  been  dif- 
ferent." 

"  Clearly." 

"  Go  down  below  to  your  berth,  and  consider 
yourself  a  prisoner.  The  young  gentlemen  in 
his  majesty's  service  are  not  permitted  to  run 
down  West  Indiamen  with  impunity." 

"  Clearly."- 

In  these  kind  of  capstan-head  court-martials, 
at  which  captains  will  sometimes  administer 
reefers'  law,  "  Woe  to  the  weakest ! "  A  defence 
was  quite  a  work  of  superfluity ;  so,  consoling 
myself  with  the  vast  responsibiUty  with  which, 
all  at  once,  I  found  myself  invested,  I  went  and 
turned  in,  anathematizing  every  created  thing 
above  an  inch  high  and  a  foot  below  the  same 


»4TtlJ»,  TWS 


1  (cm   format.  R«rf 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 


133 


CHAPTER  XI. 

Distressing  disclosures,  and  some  very  pretty  symptoms 
of  brotherly  love  —  with  much  excellent  indignation 
utterly  thrown  away — Joshua  Daunton  either  a  very 
great  man,  or  a  very  great  rogue — ^perhaps  both,  as 
the  terms  are  often  synonymous. 


I  HOP£  the  reader  has  not  forgotten  Joshua 
Daunton,  for  I  did  not.  Having  a  very  especial 
regard  to  the  health  of  his  body,  he  took  care  to 
keep  himself  ill.  The  seventy-one  lashes  due 
to  him  he  would  most  generously  have  remitted 
altogether.  His  eagerness  to  ciuicel  the  debt 
was  only  equal  to  Captain  Reud^s  eagerness  to 
pay,  and  to  that  of  his  six  midshipmen  masters 
to  see  it  paid.  Old  Kgtop  was  positively  devout 
in  this  wish ;  for,  after  the  gash  had  healed,  it 


) 


left  a  ^ery  singular  scar,  that  traversed  his  lip 
obliquely,  and  gave  a  most  ludicrous  expression 
to  a  face  that  was  before  remarkably  ill-favoured. 
One  side  of  his  visage  seemed  to  have  a  continual 
ghastly  smirk,  like  what  you  might  suppose  to 
decorate  the  countenance  of  a  lialf- drunken 
Succubus ;  tlie  other,  a  continual  ■wlumper,  that 
reminded  you  of  a  lately  whipped  baboon. 

1  concluded  that  Daunton  was  really  ill,  for 
he  kept  to  hia  hammock  in  the  sick  bay ;  and  Dr. 
Thompson  was  much  too  clever,  and  too  old  a 
man-of-war's  man,  to  be  deceived  by  a  simiUated 
sickness. 

The  day  after,  when  I  was  enjoying  my  arrest 
in  the  dignified  idleness  of  a  snooze  in  a  pea- 
jacket,  on  one  of  the  lockers,  the  lobloliy>boy 
came  to  me,  saying  that  Daunton  was  much 
worse,  and  that  he  humbly  and  earnestly  re- 
quested to  see  me.  1  went,  though  with  much 
reluctance.  He  appeared  to  be  dreadfully  ill, 
yet  an  ambiguous  smite  lighted  up  his  counte- 
nance when  he  saw  me  moodily  standing  near 
him. 

He  was  seated  on  one  comer  of  the  beach  in 


1 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  136 

the  bay,  apparently  under  the  influence  of  ague, 
for  he  trembled  excessively,  and  he  was  well 
wrapped  up  in  blankets.  Altogether,  notwith- 
standing the  regularity  of  his  features,  he  was 
a  revolting  spectacle.  .The  following  curious 
dialogue  ensued. 

"  Daunton,  I  am  ready  to  hear  you.** 

"  Thank  you,  Ralph." 

*^  Fellow  1  you  may  have  heard  that  I  am  a 
prisoner  —  in  disgrace — ^but  not  in  dishonour; 
but  know,  scoundrel,  that,  if  I  were  to  swing  the 
next  minute  at  the  yard-arm,  I  would  not  tole- 
rate or  answer  to  such  familiarity.  Speak 
respectfully,  or  I  leave  you." 

^^  Mr.  Rattlin,  pray  do  not  speak  so  loudly,  or 
the  other  invalids  will  hear  us." 

^^  Hear  us,  sirrah  !  they  may,  and  welcome. 
Scoundrel !  can  we  have  any  secrets  ?  " 

llie  fiery  hate  that  flashed  fix)m  the  eye  of 
venomous  impotence  played  upon  me,  at  the 
very  mcmient  that  the  tone  of  his  voice  became 
more  bland,  and  his  deportment  more  submissive. 

**  Mr.  Rattlin,  your  honour,  will  you  conde- 
scend to  hear  me  ?     It  is  for  your  own  good,  sir. 


136  BATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

Pray  be  no  longer  angry.  I  think  i  am  dying  f 
will  you  forgive  me?  — will  you  shake  hands 
with  me  ? "  And  he  extended  to  me  hie  thin  and 
delicate  hand. 

"  Oh,  no,  no  I "  I  exclaimed,  accompanying 
my  sneer  with  all  the  scorn  that  I  could  put  in 
my  countenance.  *'  Such  tilings  as  you  don't 
die — reptiles  are  tenacious  of  life.  For  the 
malicious  and  ape-like  mischiefs  that  you  have 
done  to  me  and  to  my  messmates — though  in 
[xisitive  guilt  I  hold  them  to  be  worse  than 
actual  felony — 1  forgive  you — but,  interchange 
the  token  of  friendship  with  such  as  you — 
never !  " 

*' Ralph  Rattlin,  I  know  you  !  " 

"Insolent  rascal!  know  yourself;  dare  to 
send  for  me  no  more.     I  leave  you." 

1  turned  upon  my  heel,  and  was  about  leaving 
this  floating  hospital,  when  again  that  femiliartone 
of  the  voice  that  had  struck  the  inmost  cliord  of 
my  heart  in  his  shrieking  appeal  at  the  gangway, 
arrested  me,  and  the  astounding  words  which 
he  uttered  quickly  brought  me  to  his  side.  In 
that  strange  tone,  that  seemetl  to  have  been  born 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  137 

with  my  existence,  he  exclaimed^  distinctly,  yet 
not  loudly,  "  Brother  Ralph,  listen  to  me !" 

^^  Liar,  cheat,  swindler !  '*  I  hissed  forth  in  an 
impassioned  whisper,  close  to  his  inclined  ear, 
"  my  heart  disowns  you — my  soul  abhors  you — 
my  gorge  rises  at  you.  I  abominate —  I  loathe 
you  —  most  contemptible,  yet  most  ineffable 
liar ! " 

^^  Oh,  brother ! "  and  a  hectic  flush  came  over 
his  chalky  countenance,  whilst  a  sardonic  smile 
played  over  his  features.  "  You  can  speak  low 
enough  now.  T  is  a  pity  that  primogeniture  is 
so  little  regarded  in  his  majesty's  vessels  of  war ; 
but  methinks  that  you  are  but  little  dutiful,  see- 
ing that  I  am  some  ten  years  your  senior,  and 
that  I  do  not  scorn  to  own  you^  though  you  are 
the  son  of  my  father's  paramour." 

The  horrible  words  shot  ice  into  my  heart. 
I  could  no  longer  retain  my  stooping  position 
over  him,  but,  feeling  faint,  and  very  sick,  I  sat 
down  involuntarily  beside  him.  But  the  agony 
of  apprehension  was  but  for  a  moment.  A  mirth, 
stem  and  wild,  brought  its  relief  to  my  paralysed 
bosom,  and,  laughing  loudly,  I  jumped  up  and 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFEB. 


excltumed,  "Josh,  you  little  vagabond,  come, 
carry  me  a-pick-a~back — -Eon  of  a  respectable 
pawnbroker  of  Whitecliapel  —  how  many  paia- 
mours  was  the  worthy  old  gentleman  in  tfae 
habit  of  keeping?  Respectable  Bcion  of  such  a 
respectable  parent,  who  finbhed  his  studies  hy 
a  little  tramping,  a  little  thieving,  a  little 
dling,  a  little  forging — I  heartily  thank  you  for] 
the  amusement  you  have  afforded  me." 

"  Oh,  my  good  brotlier,  deceive  rot  j'oursetf  I 
i  repeat  that  I  have  tramped,  thieved,  swindled, 
ay,  and  forged.  And  to  whom  do  I  owe  all  this 
ignominy?  To  you  —  to  you  —  to  you.  Yet 
I  do  not  hate  you  very,  very  much.  You  showed 
some  fraternal  feeling  when  they  seared  my  back 
with  the  indelible  scar  of  disgrace.  I  have  bed 
to  you,  but  it  suited  my  purpose." 

"  And  I  have  given  you  the  confidence  due  to 
a  liar." 

''  What !  still  incredulous,  brother  of  mine ! 
Do  you  know  these  —  and  these?" 

The  handwriting  was  singular,  and  very  ele- 
gant. I  knew  the  letters  at  once.  They  were 
the  somewhat  affected  amatory  effusions  of  that 


1 


I 


RATTLIN*  THE  RlgEFER.  139 

superb  woman,  Mrs.  Causand,  whom  t  have 
described  in  the  early  part  of  this  life.  They 
spoke  of  Ralph  —  of  Ralph  Rattlin  —  and  de- 
scribed, with  tolerable  accuracy,  my  singular 
birth  at  the  Crown  Inn  at  Reading. 

There  were  three  letters.  The  two  first  that 
I  read  contained  merely  passionate  protestations 
of  affection;  the  third,  that  had  reference  to 
myself,  spoke  darkly.  After  much  that  is  usual 
in  the  ardent  style  of  unhallowed  love,  it  went 
on,  as  nearly  as  I  can  recollect,  in  these  words 
— "  I  have  suffered  greatly  —  suffered  with  you, 
and  for  you.  The  child  is,  however,  now  safe, 
and  well  provided  for.  It  is  placed  with  a 
decent  woman  of  the  name  of  Brandon,  Rose 
Brandon.  A  discovery  now  is  impossible.  We 
have  managed  the  thing  admirably.  The  child 
is  fair,"  &c.,  &c. 

In  the  midst  of  my  agitation,  I  remarked  that 
the  writer  did  not  speak  of  the  infent  as  "my 
child,"  nor  with  the  affection  of  a  mother — and 
yet,  without  a  great  stretch  of  credulity,  the  in- 
ference seemed  plain  that  she  was  the  parent  of 
it,  though  not  a  fond  one. 


) 


140  RATTUN,  THE  REeFER. 

"Mysterious  man!  who  are  you,  and  who 
ami?" 

"Your  diegrtuxd,  your  discarded,  yet  your 
legitimate,  brother.  More  it  suits  me  not  now 
tliat  you  should  know.  I  am  weak  in  frame,  but 
I  am  steel  in  purpose.  You,  you  have  been  the 
bane  of  my  life.  Since  your  clandestine  birth, 
our  &ther  loved  me  no  more,  I  will  have  my 
broad  acres  back — I  will — they  are  mine — and 
you  only  stand  between  me  and  them." 

"  Desperate  and  degraded  man  !  —  1  beliero, 
even  after  this  pretended  confession,  that  you 
are  an  imposter  to  me,  as  much  as  you  are  to 
the  rest  of  the  world.  I  now  understand  some 
things  that  were  before  dark  to  me.  My  hfe 
seems  to  stand  in  your  way — and  your  cow- 
ardice only  prevents  you  from  taking  it.  You 
tell  me  you  are  a  forger  —  these  letters  are  for- 
geries. Mrs.  Causand  is  not  my  mother,  nor 
are  you  my  brother.  Pray,  where  did  you  get 
them  ?" 

"  I  stole  them  from  our  father's  escritoire." 

"  Amiable  son  !  But  I  wearj-  myself  no  more 
with  your  tissue  of  falsehoods.     To-morrow  we 


RATTLIN,  THK  REEFER.  141 

shall  cast  anchor.  I  will  leave  the  service,  and 
devote  the  rest  of  my  life  to  the  discovery  of  my 
origin.  I  will  learn  your  real  name,  I  will  trace 
out  your  crimes  —  and  the  hands  of  justice 
shall  at  once  terminate  my  doubts,  and  your  life 
of  infamy  —  we  are  enemies  to  the  death  !  " 

^^  A  fair  challenge  and  fairly  spoken.  I  ac- 
cept it,  from  my  soul.  You  refused  my  hand  in 
brotherly  love ;  for,  by  the  grey  hairs  of  our 
common  parent,  in  brotherly  love  it  was  offered 
to  you  —  will  you  now  take  it  as  a  pledge  of  a 
burning,  a  never-dying,  enmity  between  us  —  it 
is  at  present  emaciated  and  withered.  It  has 
been  seized  up  at  your  detested  gangway — it  has 
been  held  up  at  the  bar  of  justice ;  but  it  will 
gain  strength,  my  brother  —  there,  take  it,  sir 
—  and  despise  it  not." 

I  shuddered  as  I  received  the  pledge  of  hate ; 
and  his  grasp,  though  I  was  in  the  plenitude  of 
youthful  vigour,  was  stronger  than  my  own. 

lliis  dreadful  conference  had  been  carried  on 
principally  in  whispers  j  but,  owing  to  several 
bursts  of  emotion  on  my  part,  enough  had  trans- 
pired among  those  present  to  give  them  to  im- 


143  aATTUS,  THE  REEFER. 

dentaod  that  1  had  been  claimed  as  a  1 
and  that  I  had  very  hard-heartedly  rejected  IJ 
claim.  Hie  eick  murmured  ammig  thetnseln 
and  looked  upon  me  displeasingl)'. 

After  we  had   pas^  our  mutual  i 
there  was  silence  between  us  for  several  micutesf  ' 
he  coiling  tiimself  up  like  an  adder  in  his  corDer, 
and  1  paling  the  deck,  my  boeom  swelling  with  j 
contending  emotions.     "  If  he  should  tvally  b*  I 
my  brother,"  thought  I.     "nie  idea  was  horribW  I 
to  me.      I  again  paused  in  my  walk,  and  lookad  \ 
upon  him  stedfastly ;   but  I  fbmid  no  gmpathy 
with  him.     His  style  of  tliin  and  pallid  beauty 
was  hatefiil  to  me  • —  there  was  no  expression  in 
his  countenance  upon  which  I  could  hang  the 
remotest  feeling  of  love.     He  bore  my  scrutiny, 
in  his  weakness,  proudly. 

"Daunton,"  said  I,  at  length,  "you  hare 
failed :  in  endeavouring  to  make  a  tool,  you  have 
created  an  enemy  and  an  avenger  of  the  outraged 
laws.  I  sliall  be  in  London  in  the  course  of 
eight-and-forty  hours  —  you  cannot  escape  me 
—  if  it  cost  me  a  hundred  pounds,  I  will  loose 
•  the    bloodhounds   of  justice   after  you  —  you 


RATTLIN,  THE  RIIFER,  143 

shall  be  made  in  chains  to  give  up  your  hateful 
secrete  1  am  no  longer  a  boy^  nor  you,  nor 
the  lawyer  that  administers  my  afiiedrs,  shall  no 
longer  make  a  plaything  of  me.  I  will  know 
who  I  am.  Thank  God,  I  can  alwa}r8  ask  Mrs. 
Cherfeuil." 

At  that  name,  a  smile,  no  longer  bitter,  but 
deeply  melancholy,  and  almost  sweet,  came  over 
his  efieminate  features.  But  it  lasted  not  long. 
That  smile,  like  a  few  tones  of  his  voice,  seemed 
so  &miliar  to  me.  Was  1  one  of  two  existences, 
the  consciousness  of  the  one  nearly,  but  not 
quite,  blotting  out  the  other?  I  looked  upon 
him  again,  and  the  smile  was  gone ;  but  a  look 
of  grief,  solemn  and  heart-rending,  had  suppUed 
its  place  —  and  then  the, big  and  involuntary 
tear  stood  in  his  eye.  I  know  not  whether  it 
fell,  for  he  held  down  his  arm  to  the  conceal- 
ment of  his  face,  and  spoke  not. 

Had  the  wretch  a  heart,  after  all  ? 

As  I  turned  to  depart,  he  lifted  up  his  face, 
and  all  that  was  amiable  in  its  expression  had 
fled.    With  a  calm  sneer  he  said,**  May  I  trouble 
you,   Mr.   Rattlin,   for   those  letters  which    I- 
handed  over  to  you  for  your  perusal  ?  " 


144  KATTI.IN,  THE  BEEPER. 

"  1  shall  keep  them," 

"  Is  your  code  of  eqiuty  as  low  as  mine? 
They  are  my  property ;  I  paid  dearly  enough 
for  them.  And  what  says  your  code  of  honour 
to  such  conduct? " 

"  There,  take  your  detested  forgeries !  We 
shall  meet  in  London." 

"  Mr.  Rattlin  forgets  that  be  is  a  prisoner." 

"  Absurd  !  The  charge  cannot  be  fustained 
for  a  moment." 

"  Be  it  so.  Peradventure,  I  shall  be  in  Lon- 
don before  you." 


) 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 


145 


CHAPTER  XII. 

Listeners  seldom  hear  good  things  of  themselves — Ralph 
at  a  dreadful  discount  with  his  messmates,  hut  contrives 
to  settle  his  accounts  with  his  principal  dehtor. 


I  LEFT  him,  with  a  strong  foreboding  that  he 
would  work  me  some  direful  mischief.  Wretched, 
unutterably  wretched,  were  the  ensuing  day  and 
night  that  I  passed.  I  retired  to  the  gloom  of 
the  midshipmen's  den,  and  battened  on  my  ter- 
rible reflections  to  a  fulness  of  misery  that  none 
but  youth  can  feel,  or  feeling  bear  up  against. 
I  could  not  disbelieve,  and  I  would  not  believe, 
him.  The  sweet  creations  of  my  dreams  by  night, 
of  my  visions  and  my  imaginings  by  day,  were 
that  I  was  of  honourable,  if  not  of  distinguished, 
birth.  Over  these  the  base  enchanter  had  waved 


VOL.  III. 


H 


146  K&nttN.ttaK  kEEFS*. 


1 


his  wand ;  and  they  stood  before  me  noiv  in  hide, 
ous  shape?.     Coatumely  bad  overtaken  me,  even 
where  1  was ;  and  scom  and  contempt,  succeeded 
by  its  pitiful  train  of  followere,  seemed  to 
collecting  their  venom,  in  order   to   hoot 
through  the  world. 

For  the  long  day,  I  sate,  with  my  head 
in  my  hands  on  the  Mfdid  table  of  our  berft. 
!  ate  not,  I  spoke  not.  The  ribaldry  of  n^ 
coarse  associates  moved  me  ndt ;  their  boisterons 
and  vulgar  mirth  aroused  me  not.  TTk^  thotight 
me,  owing  to  my  arrest,  and  my  anticipations  of 
i*3  cotistiqaencee,  toi^id  'with  fear,  "niey  *ere 
deceived.  I  was  never  more  alive.  tAf  ■magtetHe 
#as — if  I  may  so  ^>eak — glowi^  Ahi  fisry  bot ; 
liiy  sense  of  b«fig  was  intense  wiUi  various  misery. 
My  braita  was  at  once  clear  and  scotcMttg.  Wftli 
«tH  t\m  excitement,  t^et«  o^e  not  tJie  least  taiat 
of  itiental  ikberrafiOh.  -My  intelleets  WeM  nevor 
more  unc4oBded.  1  Was  never  more  capable  af 
^h&ig  up  my  loin?,  and  -doii^  beetle  with  tbe 
world,  Kke  a  strong  man. 

ToWahls  evening,  another  piece  of  MelligsMe 
readied  me,  that  alarmed  and  eetotftided  aie. 


\ 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFIft.  147 

Since  the  laying  on  of  the  one  lash  on  the  back  of 
Joshua  Daunton,  our  old  servant  had  descended 
from  the  mixen-top,  again  to  wait  upon  us.  He 
was,  in  his  way,  an  insatiate  news-gatherer ;  but 
he  was  as  liberal  in  dispensing  it  as  he  was  eager 
in  acquiring  it. 

The  midshipmen  were  drinking,  out  of  the 
still  unbroken  cups  and  two  or  three  tin  pani- 
kins,  their  grog  at  eight  o'clock  in  the  evening, 
when  oiu-  unshod  and  dirty  attendant  spoke 
thus: 

^  Oh,  Mr.  Kgtop ! — such  news ! — such  strange 
news !  You'll  be  so  very  sorry  to  hear  it,  «ir, 
and  so  will  all  the  young  gentlemen.'' 

**  What,  has  the  ship  tumbled  overboard,  or 
the  pig.ballast  mutinied  for  arrears  of  pay  ?» 

''  Oh,  sir,  ten  thousand  times  worse  than  that ! 
That  thief  of  the  world,  sir,  Joshua  Daunton, 
IB  not  to  have  his  six  dozen,  after  all,  sir,  though 
be  did  e(»*rupt  all  the  midshipmen's  clothes,  sir. 
Dr.  Thompson  has  taken  him  into  his  own  cabin, 
and  nothing  is  now  too  good  for  him.'' 

''But  hanging,"  said  the  indignant  and 
scaned  master's-mate.     '^If  he's  not  flog^, 

h2 


Ui 


RATTLIV,  TtlE  RKBrSH. 


iho.^ 


> 


I'll  have  the  lif^  out  of  him  yet,  though  he  si 
turn  out  to  be  the  ouIt  son  of  my  Loni  Dun- 
know-who."  I^gtop  was  a  wit,  id  a  small  mid- 
sliipman-like  way.  "  He's  turned  out  to  ht 
6ome  great  man,  they  say,  however — in  clog  of 
so,  I  think  they  call  it;  though,  for  my 
I  remembers  him  in  irons  well  enough  not 
than  a  fortnight  aback — and  he'a  had  a 
of  the  girl  vrith  nine  talis,  however — that' 
comfort  to  me,  wliatever  he  may  turn  out.' 

The  vulgar  have  strange  sources  from  w! 
to  derive  comfort. 

"But,  are  you  sure  of  all  this  Billr"  said 
Mr.  Staines.  "  Because,  if  he  should  turn  out  t« 
be  somebody,  I'll  make  him  pay  me  for  mj 
traps ;  that's  as  certain  now  as  that  he'll  be 
sent  to  Old  Davy." 

"  Certain  sure.  He  sliowed  the  Doctor  papers 
enough  to  set  up  a  lawyer's  shop.  But  that's 
not  the  best  of  it— hum — ha !  Do  you  think, 
Mr.  Pigtop,  that  Mr,  Ratttin's  caulking }"  (t.  e., 
asleep). 

"  He  has  not  moved  this  three  hours.  I  owe 
Rattlin   one   for  bringing  this  blackguard   od 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  149 

board.  There  may  be  something  in  tMs,  after 
all.  He  claimed  Rattlin  as  his  brother  at  the 
gangway,  or  something  of  that  sort.  Now,  that 
makes  me  comfortable.  It  will  take  our  proud 
messmate  down  a  peg  or  two,  I'm  calculating — 
with  his  smooth  face,  and  his  little  bits  of  Latin 
and  Greek,  and  his  parleyvooing.  Oh  ho !  but 
it's  as  good  as  a  bottle  of  rum  to  me.  With  all 
his  dollars,  and  his  bills,  and  his  airs,  I  never 
had  a  brother  seized  up  at  the  gangway.  And 
the  captain  and  the  officers  once  made  such  a 

fuss  about  him  !  D n  his  smooth  face  I — I've 

a  great  mind  to  wake  him,  and  hit  him  a  wipe 
across  the  chaps.  He  knocked  me  down  with 
the  davit-block,  for  twitting  him  about  that  girl 
of  his,  that  was  drowned  swimming  after  him. 
I  '11  have  satisfaction  for  that.  The  captain 
ordered  me  to  leave  the  ship  for  being  knocked 
down.  Well  —  we  shall  see  who'll  be  ordered 
to  leave  the  ship  now.  I  never  caused  a  girl's 
death  by  desarting  her.  Upon  my  soul,  I've 
a  great  mind  to  rouse  him,  and  hit  him  a  slap 
of  the  chaps.     I  hate  smooth  jGaces." 

'*  Well,"  s£iid  Staines,  "  you  may  depend  upon 


150 

RATTLIN.  THE  REEFER.                                H 

it,  RaUUn  it  asleep,  or  he  woald  have  vappet  fl 

«  He ! 

1  should  very  much  like  tu  see  it — the  ^M 

spooney  1 

1 

"  If  Mr.  Rattlin  b  caulking,"  eaid  our  valet  Jl    | 

cham^e. 

"  there  can't  be  no  harm  done  what-    ■ 

somever. 

But  they  do  say,  in  the  sick  bay,  u    H 

how  Mr. 

Rattlin  isn't  himself,  hut  that  Joshua     I 

Daunton 

is  he,  and  that  he  is  nobody  at  all  whaU     I 

somever; 

though  Gibbons  says,  and  he's  a  cute     1 

one,  that  if  Mr.  Rattlin  is  not  Mr.  Rattliii,  seeing    ^ 

as  how  Joshua  Daunton  is  Mr.  Rattlin,  Mr. 
Rattlin  must  be  somebody  else— and,  as  a  secret, 
he  told  me,  as  like  as  not,  he  must  be  Joshua 
Daunton." 

"  Well,  here's  comfort  again.  If  Mr.  Rattlin 
— Mr.  indeed  1  —  turns  out  to  be  a  swindler,  as 
I  'va  sure  he  will,  it  wouldn't  be  lawftd,  nor  righ^ 
nor  proper,  in  me  to  pay  him  the  money  I  owe 

liim,"  said  the  conscientious  Mr,  Pigtop.  "D — n 

hia  smooth  iace  I  —  I  should  like  to  have  the 

spoiling  of  it," 

Here  was  important  infonnation  for  me  to 

ruminate  upon,     1  was  determined  to  remain 


R4^TTLIN,  THE  R^SPEIU  151 

still  SO  long  as  I  could  gain  any  intelligence. 
But  the  conversation — if  co^y^m^tion  we  most 
tenn  the  gibberish  of  my  associt^tes  r— haying 
taken  another  turn,  I  slowly  lif^  up  my  smooth 
face^  and,  confronting  Mr.  Pigtop's  rough  one, 
I  said  to  him  very  coolly,  **  Mr.  Pigtop,  I  am 
going  to  do  what  you  would  very  ipuch  like  to 
see — I  am  going  to  wop  you," 

**  Wop  me ! — no,  no,  it's  not  come  to  that  yeti^ 
I  have  heard  something -r- {'ye  a  charactei*  to 
support — I  must  not  demean  payself." 

"  There  is  my  smooth  fece  right  before  you — 
I  dare  you  to  strike  it — ^you  dare  not !  Then, 
thus,  base  rascal,  I  beat  you  to  the  earth !"  And 
Pigtop  toppled  down. 

Now,  all  this  was  yeiry  wrong  on  my  part,  an4 
very  imprudent  |  for  Y  must  confess  that  he  had 
before  beateq  me  in  a  legular  fistic  encoui^ter. 
But  it  was  really  a  great  relief  to  me.  I  longed 
for  some  yent  to  my  angry  and  exasperated  feel- 
ings. We  were  soon  out  in  the  steerage.  Qh ! 
the  woolfishness  of  human  natiure !  That  low  and 
brutal  fight  was  a  great  luxury  to  me.  Positively^* 
at  the  time,  I  did  not  feel  his  blows.   At  every 


\52  RATrUN.THE   REEFER. 

miinlerDUs  liuige  that  I  niaile  at  him,  1  shouted^.] 
"Take  that,  Daunton;"  or,  "Was  that  weB"  | 
planted,  brother?" 

Had  we  fought  either  with  sword  or  pistnt,  1 
the  enjoyment  would  have  been  infinitely  leas  ti 
me.  There  was  a  stern  rapture  in  pouu'ling 
him  beneath  me  —  in  ilashing  my  hands  in  hia  , 
blood — in  disfiguring  his  face  piecemeal.  In  o 
I'vil  passions,  we  are  sad  brutes.  Pigtop  had  the 
pluck  natural  to  Englishmen  —  he  would  rather 
not  have  fouglit  just  then;  hut,  having  c 
begun,  he  seemed  resolved  to  see  it  out  manfully. 
Tlie  conseijuence  was  —  to  use  a  common  and 
expressive  phrase — I  beat  him  to  within  an  inch 
of  his  life,  and  then  cried  with  vexation,  because 
he  could  no  longer  stand  up  to  be  beaten  out  of 
the  little  that  ray  fury  had  left  him. 

When  the  fray  was  over,  my  sturdy  opponent 
had  no  reason  to  be  envious  of  my  smooth  face. 

Rather  inflamed  than  satiated  with  the  result 
of  my  encounter,  whilst  my  opponent  turned  in 
his  hammock,  and  there  lay  moaning,  1,  with 
both  my  eyes  dreadfully  blackened,  and  my 
countenance  puffed  up,  threw  myself  upon  the 


RATTLINf  THE  RE£F£R.  153 

lockers,  and  there  sleeplessly  passed  the  whole 
night,  devoiuing  my  own  heart.  If,  for  a  mo- 
ment, I  happened  to  doze,  i  was  tearing,  in  my 
imagination,  Joshua  Damiton  piecemeal,  hurling 
him  down  precipices,  or  crushing  him  beneath 
the  jagged  fragments  of  stupendous  rocks.  It 
was  a  night  of  agony. 

Twenty-five  years  ago,  a  set-to  in  a  midship- 
man's berth  was  the  general  way  of  settling  a 
dispute,  or  of  avenging  an  insult.  It  was  thought 
to  be  neither  ungentlemanly  nor  degrading,  llien 
we  held  our  pistols  and  swords  for  enemies  only ; 
our  fists  were  at  the  service  of  oiur  friends. 

We  have  altered  all  that  now.  1  do  but  de- 
scribe things  as  they  were :  let  the  christian,  and 
the  moralist,  and  the  gentleman,  settle  the  mat- 
ter between  them,  as  to  the  manner  in  which 
these  things  ought  to  be  arranged. 


h5 


154 


ftATTUN ,  THE  aUFBR. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 


Soft  tack^  one  of  the  best  tacks,  aftar  all-^Lega  of  mutUm 
sometimes  produce  friendships  of  long  standing  com- 
pletely proved,  as  well  as  the  value  of  good  grain  best 
ascertained,  after  it  has  been  well  thrashed. 


Thb  next  day  we  anchored  in  tiie  Downs. 
Weak,  stiff,  and  ill,  I  surveyed  myself  in  my 
dressing-glass.  My  battered  features  presented 
a  hideous  spectacle.  But  I  cared  not.  I  was  a 
prisoner  —  I  should  have  no  occasion  to  emeige 
from  the  gloom  of  the  steerage.  Hiis  was  truly 
a  happy  return  to  my  native  shores. 

But  I  was  not  altogether  left  without  commit 
seration  —not  altogether  without  sympathy.  Both 
Dr.  Thompson  and  the  purser  looked  in  to  see 


RATTLIN,  THE  RSKFER.  159 

me.  The  Doctor,  especially,  seemed  to  feel 
deeply  for  my  sitiiation.  He  told  me  that  he 
had  heard  a  strange  story ;  but  that,  as  yet,  he 
was  not  at  Uberty  to  mention  any  particulars. 
He  assured  me  that  he  entirely  acquitted  me  of 
any  participation  in  a  series  of  base  deceptions 
tliat  had  been  practised  upon  an  ancient^  a  dis* 
tinguished,  and  wealthy  family.  He  bade  me 
hope  for  the  best,  and  always  consider  him  as 
my  friend.  Tbo  purser  spoke  to  the  same  eflkct. 
I  told  them  that  my  conviction  was  that  it  was 
they,  f^nd  not  I,  who  were  the  victims  of  decep- 
tion. I  stated  that  I  had  never  pretended  to 
rank  or  parentage  of  any  sort ;  I  acknowledged 
that  every  thing  connected  with  my  family  was 
a  perfect  mystery ;  but  I  asked  them  how  they 
could  place  any  fiedth  in  the  assertions  of  a  man 
who  was  in  a  mean  capacity  when  I  met  with 
him— -who  had  confessed  to  me  a  multiplicity  of 
villanies  —  and  who  had  corroborated  the  truth 
of  his  own  confessions  by  his  xuiiformly  wicked 
conduct  whilst  on  board. 

To  all  this  they  both  smiled  very  sapientiy, 
and  told  me  they  }i.ad  their  reasons* 


156  RATTLIN,  THE  REE,FER. 

"  WeU,"  said  I,  "  you  are  wise,  ami, 
pared  to  me,  old  men.  You  cannot  tliiok  t 
Daunton  a  moral  character  —  you  cannot  ti 
liim  honest.  Still,  telling  me  you  are  my  friend^ 
you  cjiampion  him  against  ma.  And  yet  I  know 
not  how  or  in  what  manner.  If  he  should  pinjve 
my  brother,  the  world  is  wide  enough  for  us  both : 
let  him  keep  out  of  my  way,  if  he  can.  D«peail  _ 
upon  it,  doctor,  he  is  acting  upon  an  t 
thought.  He  has  been  forced  into  a  despeia 
eourae.  You  marked  his  abject  cowardice  at  U 
gangway.  During  the  many  hours  that  he  was 
in  irons,  before  that  punislunent  he  so  much 
dreaded  was  inflicted,  why  did  he  not  then  send 
for  you,  and,  to  save  himself,  make  to  you  these 
important  disclosures  ?  —  Merely  because  he  did 
not  then  think  of  it.  Uy  heavens! — a  hght 
rushes  on  me  —  lis  is  a  house-breaker  1 — lie  has 
committed  some  burglary,  and  stolen  papers  re- 
lating to  me ;  and  no  doubt  he  has  followed  me, 
first,  with  the  intention  of  selling  to  me  the  pur- 
loined secret  at  some  unconscionable  price>  and 
lie  has  since  thought  fit  to  change  his  plan  for 
sometliing  more  considerable,  more  wicked." 


RATTUNf  THE  RESPBR.  157 

**  My  poor  boy,"  said  the  doctor  kindly,  "  you 
are  under  a  delusion.  Let  me  change  the  sub- 
ject, and  puncture  you  with  my  lancet  under  the 
eyes  —  they  are  dreadfully  contused.  Well, 
Rattlin,  we  are  to  go  to  Sheemess  directhr,  and 
be  pcud  off.  You  may  depend  upon  it,  the  cap- 
tain will  think  better  about  this  arrest  of  yoiur's, 
particularly  as  the  two  men  at  the  wheel  posi- 
tively  contradict  the  quarter-master,  and  affirm 
that  the  helm  was  put  hard  a-starboard,  and  not 
hard  a -port.  It  appears  to  us  that  it  was  of  little 
consequence,  when  the  ship  was  first  discovered, 
how  the  helm  was  put.  The  fault  was  evidently 
on  the  part  of  those  who  so  awfully  suffered  for 
it.  By-the-by,  there  has  been  a  change  among 
the  lords  of  the  Admiralty  —  there  are  two  new 
junior  ones." 

"  Begging  your  pardon,  doctor,  what  the  devil 
is  a  change  among  the  jimior  lords  of  the  Admi- 
ralty to  a  half  starved,  imprisoned,  blackened- 
eyed,  ragged  reefer  ?" 

Much  more  than  I  was  aware  of. 

"  Now,"  said  I  to  the  purser,  "  if  you  wish  to 
do  me  a  real  kindness,  change  me  some  of  my 


Spanish  for  Knglitih  moll 
bumbcat  that  comes  aloi^ 
achore  in  ballast,  for  I  siiij 

My  request  Was  iminad 
and  mr  £rieiuls,  for  tite  pqj 

Those  blesEed  bearers  \ 
this  life,  the  bimiboate,  m 
alongside.  Every  five  id 
Bill  up  to  Bee.  Great  ^ 
inidahipman'g  berth,  irii^ 
broken,  and  the  grt^  d| 
junk  all  eaten.  But  gres 
are  the  pleasures  of  the 
sfler  a  long  cruise,  on  cc 
first  loaf  of  soft  tack  is  o 
leg  of  mutton  is  in  the  hwh 
of  fresh  butter  is  before  th 
the-  expectants.  Aldermen 
much — epicures  of  the  We 
cately ;  but  neither  of  you 
uries  are.  Go  to  sea  for  si 
shipman  allowance,  eked  > 
improvidence  j  and,  on  yoi 
bumboBt,  first  beating  aga 


RATTUN,  TRB  KSBPBB*  169 

will  afford  you  a  practical  lesson  upon  the  art  of 
papillaiy  enjoyment. 

It  is,  I  must  confess,  very  unromantic,  and 
not  at  all  like  the  hero  of  three  volumes,  to  eon- 
£98S  that,  for  a  time,  my  impulses  of  anger  had 
given  way  to  the  gnawings  of  hunger;  and 
I  thought,  for  a  time,  less  of  Joshua  Daunton 
than  of  the  first  succulent  cut  into  a  leg  of  South- 
down mutton. 

The  blessed  aioatar  at  length  took  place.  Hie 
bumboat  and  the  frigate  lovingly  rubbed  sides, 
and,  like  an  angel  descending  from  heaven,  I 
saw  Bill  coming  down  the  after-hatchway,  hus 
fiEU^e  radiant  with  the  glory  of  expectant  repletion, 
a  leg  of  mutton  in  each  hand,  two  quartern 
loaves  under  each  arm,  and  between  each  pair 
of  loaveswas  jammed  a  pound  of  ftesh  butter. 
I  had  the  legs  of  mutton  in  the  berth,  and  laid 
on  liie  table  that  I  might  contemplate  them, 
whilst  I  sent  my  messenger  up  for  as  many 
bottles  of  porter  as  I  could  buy.  But  I  was  not 
penmtted  to  enjoy  the  divine  contemplation  all 
to  myself.  My  five  messmates  came  to  partake 
of  tliis  access  of  happiness.     As  the  legs  of 


^attti 


nnittm  Isj  oa  tbe  ti 
their  delicate  &t,  and  a 
and  gTBvj-chaiged  lead 
them  —  we  patted  Xbem 
bands  —  and,  when  Bfll-^ 
ance  laden  with  siindij| 
ecstacy  was  running  a 
an  hour. 

Mymessmate^  settled  ll 
smiling  amiably.  How  ■ 
eyee  were  so  blackened,  tt 
With  what  urbanity  th^ 
was  of  the  right  sort  — tl 
him,  who  would  hurt  a  ha 
were  all  ready  to  go  a  ste 
tory  for  me. 

"Gentlemen,"  said  I, 
barricade  round  me  of  m; 
ray  two  pounds  of  fresh  bi 
bottles  of  porter,  for  1  wa 
the  head  off  the  twelfth,  (w 
stances  could  have  waited  i 
tlemen,"  said  I,  "  get  yi 
will  have  lunch,"     Shyloc 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  161 

more  eagerly  than  did  my  companions  their's, 
each  eyeing  a  loaf. 

"  Gentlemen,  we  will  havie  Imich  —  but,  as 
I  don't  think  that  lately  you  have  used  me  quite 
well,  (countenances  all  round  serious),  and  as 
I  have,  as  you  all  well  know,  laid  out  much 
money,  with  little  thanks,  upon  this  mess,  (faces 
quite  dejected),  permit  me  to  remind  you,  that 
there  is  still  some  biscuit  in  the  bread-bag,  and 
that  this  before  me  is  private  property." 

The  lower  jaws  of  my  messmates  dropped,  as 
if  conscious  that  there  would  be  no  occupation 
for  them.  I  cut  a  fine  slice  off  the  new  bread, 
spread  it  thickly  with  the  butter,  tossed  over  a 
foaming  mug  of  porter,  and,  eating  the  fii-st 
mouthful  of  the  delicious  preparation,  with  a 
superfluity  of  emphatic  smacks,  I  burst  into 
laughter  at  the  woe-begone  looks  around  me. 

**  What,"  said  I,  "  could  you  think  so  meanly 
of  me  ?  You  have  treated  me  according  to  your 
natures,  I  treat  you  according  to  mine.  Fall- 
to,  dogs,  and  devour !  —  peck  up  the  crumbs, 
sca^recrows,  as  the  Creole  calls  you,  and  be  filled. 
But,  pause  and  be  just,  even  to  your  own  appe- 


16)  RATTUN,  THB  RBi|F^B. 

tites.  Notwithstanduig  our  lunoh,  let  us  diae. 
Lietus  divide  the  four  loaves  into  eight  equal  por- 
tiom.  There  are  six  of  us  here,  and  Bill  mast 
have  his  share.  We  will  have  more  for  our  din- 
ner, when  the  legsof  mutton  make  their  appear- 
ance," 

We  drank  each  of  us  a  bottle  of  porter,  and 
finished  our  half-quartern  loaves  with  wonderful 
alacrity.  Bill  keeping  us  gladsome  company.  My 
messmates  then  left  the  berth,  pronouncing  me  a 
good  fellow.  The  eighth  portion  of  soft  tommy 
and  butter,  with  a  bottle  of  porter,  I  made  the 
servant  leave  on  the  table ;  and  then  sent  him 
again  to  the  bumboat,  to  procure  other  neces- 
saries, to  make  the  accompaniments  to  our  mutton 
perfect. 

In  the  mean  time,  Pigtop,  who  lay  in  his 
hammock,  directly  across  the  window  of  our 
berth,  had  been  a  tantalized  observer  of  all  that 
had  passed,  I  crouched  myself  up  in  one  comer 
of  the  hole,  and  was  gradually  falling  into  dis- 
agreeable ruminations,  when  Mr.  Pigtop  crept 
out  of  his  hammock  and  into  the  berth,  and 
sate  himself  down  as  &x  from  me  as  possible. 


R4TTUN,  THE  RfiKFBR.  168 

*^  Rattlixiy''  said  he  at  length  dolefully,  *^  you 
have  beaten  me  dreadfully." 

"  It  was  yoiur  own  seeking  —  I  am  sorry  for 
your  suflerings." 

*«  Well— I  thank  ye  for  that  same  —  I  don't 
mean  the  beating-— you  know  that  I  stood  up  to 
you  like  a  man.    Is  there  malice  between  us  ?  " 
*'  On  my  part,  none.     Why  did  you  provoke 
me?^' 

^  I  was  wrong — ^infiEumally  wrong — and,  may 
be,  I  would  have  owned  it  before— but  for  your 
quick  temper,  and  that  hard  punch  in  the  chaps. 
I  have  bad  the  worst  of  it.  It  goes  to  my  heart, 
Ratdin,  that  I,  an  old  sailor,  and  a  man  necurly 
forty,  should  be  knocked  about  by  a  mere  boy?— 
it  is  not  decent  —  it  is  not  becoming  —  it  is  not 
natural  —  I  shall  never  get  over  it.  I  wish 
I  could  undo  the  done  things  of  yesterday." 

**  And  so  do  I,  heartily  —  fervently." 

^  Well— that  is  kindly  said — and  I  old  enough 
to  be  your  father — and  twenty-five  years  at  sea 
—  beaten  to  a  stand  still.  Sorry  I  ever  entered 
the  cuxsed  ship." 

^'How  much  of  all  this,"  thought  I,  ^^is 


mother,  we  have  lati 
ship  has  b«.n  a  hell 
faint  for  the  want  of  i 
l8  that  prog  and  that 
property  ?" 

"They  are  my  prop 

toyou,becauaeIwouId 

I  was  aping  magnanim 

I  shall  always  owe  to  s 

frankly,  that,  if  y,^ 

amicable  towank  me 

with  it  a  welcome  and  a 

muchgood— bnt,ifyo, 

™*  me,  for  the  sake 

you  would  reject  it,  thoi 

"Battlin,Ih,eak  bre 

I  am  confounded),,  a». 


RATTLIN,  THE  KEEPER.  165 

repel  your  insult,  but  I  sincerely  regret  its  con- 
sequences. Henceforward,  you  shall  insult  me 
twice  before  I  lift  my  hand  against  you  once/' 

*^  I  will  never  insult  you  again.  1  will  be 
your  fiEist  firiend,  and  perhaps  I  may  have  the 
means  of  proving  it.'^ 

It  now  became  my  turn  to  be  astonished. 
Instead  of  seeing  the  himgry  oldster  fall-to,  like 
a  ravenous  dog,  he  broke  off  a  small  comer 
from  the  bread,  ate  it,  and  was  in  the  act  of  re- 
tiring, when  I  hailed  him. 

"  Halloa  ! — Pigtop— what's  in  the  wind  now  ? 
My  friend,  you  do  but  little  honour  to  my  cheer, 
aud  1  am  sure  that  you  must  want  it." 

**  No,  no,"  scud  Pigtop,  with  much  feeling — 
'^you  shall  never  suppose  that  the  old  sailor 
sold  the  birthright  of  his  honoiu:  for  a  mess  of 
pottage,** 

**  Well  felt  and  well  said,  by  all  that's  upright ! 
But,  nevertheless,  you  shall  drink  this  bottle  of 
porter,  and  eat  this  bread  and  butter — and  so 
rU  e'en  cut  it  up  into  very  excellent  roimds. 
D — ^n  it,  you  shan't  accept  my  friendship  without 
accepting  my  fare.     I  like  yoiur  spirit  so  well, 


1 

1 

166                        RATTLIN.I 

Pigtop,  that,  for  your  a 
a  tnaa  again,  until  I  bm 
To  the  surprise  of  a 
anemfaled  punctually  1 
they   discovered  me  1 
hand  acrosB  tlie  table,  i 

i 

)RATtL)N>  THE  REEffeft.  167 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

Ralph  jM  placed  in  an  awkward  predicam^t>  being  piit 
up(m  his  trial  to  prove  his  identity,  and  haviag  00  -wit- 
nesses to  call  bot  himself— All  voices  against  him  but 
his  own. 

At  tl^8  |ieriod,  every  day,  nay,  almost  every 
hour,  seeilned  to  bring  its  startling  event.  Ere 
good  digestion  had  followed  our  very  good  ap- 
petites, bastle  and  agitation  pervaded  the  whole 
ship.  It  had  been  t6iegra|died  from  xm  diove 
thikt  one  of  tJne  jonior  lords  of  the  Admiralty  was 
connng  on  board  immediately.  There  was 
blank  dismay  in  our  berth.  How  could  ;my 
mettmtftes  ^possibly  go  on  'the  •quarter-deck,  "and 
ai^sft  to  reoeive  the  dignified  penonage  ?  Much 
did  I  ewjoy  the  immunily  that,  I  i»ppo$ed, 
beix^  a  pvbo^r  g»ve  to  me. 


168  RATTLIN,  THE  REKFER. 

The  portentous  message  came  down  that 
'^the  young  gentlemen^  in  full  unifonn,  are 
expected  to  be  on  the  quarter-deck  to  receive 
the  lord  of  the  Admiralty."  All  the  amsola- 
tion  that  I  could  give  was  quoting  tx)  them  the 
speech  of  Lady  Macbeth  to  her  guests— -^  Go, 
nor  stand  upon  the  order  of  your  going."  The 
firing  of  the  salute  from  the  main*deck  guns  an- 
noimced  the  approach,  and  the  clanking  of  the 

r 

muskets  of  the  marines  on  the  deck,  after  they  had 
presented  arms,  the  arrival  of  the  lord  plainly  to 
me,  in  my  darksome  habitation.  Ten  minutes  had 
not  elapsed,  during  which  I  was  hugging  myself 
with  the  thought  that  all  this  pomp  and  circum- 
stance could  not  annoy  me,  when,  breathless 
with  haste,  there  rushed  one,  two,  three,  four 
messengers,  each  treading  on  the  heels  of  the 
other,  telling  me  the  lord  of  the  Admiralty 
wished  to  see  me  immediately  in  the  captain's 
cabin. 

"  Me  !  see  me  !  What,  in  the  name  of  all 
that  is  disastrous,  can  he  want  with  me?"  I  would 
come  when  I  had  made  a  little  alteration  in  my 
dress.    Trusting  that  he   was  as  impatient  as 


RATTLIK,  THE  REEFER.  169 

all  great  men  usually  are  when  dealing  with 
little  ones,  I  hoped  by  dilatoriness  to  weary  him 
out,  and  thus  remain  unseen.  Vain  speculation  ! 
A  minute  had  scarcely  elapsed,  when  one  of  the 
lieutenants  came  down  in  a  half  friendly,  half 
imperative  manner,  to  acquaint  me  that  I  must 
come  up  immediately. 

The  scene  that  ensued — ^how  can  I  sufficiently 
describe  it !  Had  I  not  been  sustained  by  the 
impudence  of  desperation,  I  should  have  jumped 
overboard  directly  I  had  got  on  deck.  I  foimd 
myself,  not  well  knowing  by  what  kind  of  loco- 
motion I  got  there,  in  the  fore-cabin,  where  was 
spread  a  very  handsome  collation,  roimd  which 
were  assembled  some  fifteen  officers,  all  in  their 
full-dress  imiforms,  in  the  midst  of  which,  a 
feeble,  delicate-looking,  and  excessively  neatly 
dressed  old  gentleman  stood,  in  plain  clothes. 
His  years  must  have  been  far  beyond  seventy. 
He  was  fidgetty,  indeed,  to  that  degree  that 
would  induce  you  to  think  that  he  was  a  little 
palsied. 

I  cannot  answer  for  the  silent  operations  that 
take  place  in  other  men's  minds,  but,  in  my  own, 

VOL.  III.  I 


170  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

even  under  the  greatest  misfortunes,  a  droll  con- 
ceit will  more  rally  my  crushed  spirits  than  all 
tlie  moral  consolations  that  Blair  ever  pemied. 

".If  this  be  the  junior  lord  of  the  Admiralty," 
thought  I,  ^^  how  venerably  patriarchal  must  be 
his  four  seniors  !"  I  smiled  at  the  idea  as  1 
bowed. 

Let  us  describe  the  person  that  smiled  and 
bowed  to  this  august  assembly. 

Figure  to  yourself  a  tall  youth,  attired  in  a 
blue  cotton  jacket,  with  the  uniform  button,  a 
once  white  kerseymere  waistcoat,  and  duck  trow- 
sers,  on  which  were  mapped,  in  cloudy  colours — 
produced  by  stains  of  black- strap,  peasoup,  and 
the  other  etceteras  that  may  be  found  in  that 
receptacle  of  abominations,  an  ill-regulated  mid- 
shipman's berth  —  more  oceans,  seas,  bays, 
and  promontories,  than  nature  ever  gave  to  this 
unhappy  globe.  Beneath  these  were  discovered 
a  pair  of  dark  blue  worsted  stockings,  terminated 
by  a  pair  of  purser's  shoes — things  of  a  hybrid 
breed,  between  a  pair  of  cast  off  slippers  and 
the  ploughman's  clodlioppers,  fitting  as  well  as 
the  former,  and  nearly  as  heavy  as  the  latter. 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  171 

Now,  this  costume,  in  the  depth  of  winter,  was 
sufficiently  light  and  bizarre;  but  the  manner 
in  which  I  had  contrived  to  decorate  my  counte- 
nance soon  riveted  all  attention  to  that  specimen 
of  the  "  human  face  divine,"  marred  by  the  hand 
of  man.  Thanks  to  the  expertness  of  Mr.  Pig- 
top,  my  eyes  were  singularly  wftU  blackened,  and 
the  swelling  of  my  face,  particularly  about  the 
upper  lip,  had  not  yet  subsided.  Owing  to  my 
remaining  so  much,  since  my  arrest,  in  the  ob- 
scurity of  the  between -decks,  and  perhaps  to 
some  inflammation  in  my  eyes,  from  my  recent 
beating,  I  blinked  upon  those  before  me  like 
an  owl. 

"  As — ton — ish — ing !"  said  my  Lord  WhifHe- 
dale.     "  Is  that  Mr.  Ralph  Rattlin  ?" 

**nie  same,  my  lord,'*  said  Captain  Reud. 
**  Shall  I  introduce  him  to  your  lordship  ?*' 

**By  no  manner  of  means — yet — for  his 
father's  sake — really — ridiculous  !— Henry,  tne 
fifth  baron  of  WhifHedale— ah  ! — black  eyes, 
filthy  costume,  very  particularly  filthy,  upon  my 
honour.  How  is  this,  Captain  Reud  ?  Of  course, 
my  present  \asit  is  not  official ;  but,  merely  to 

i2 


n 


satisfy  my  curiosity  as  a. 
that  your  first  lieutenanCj 
llemen  to  so  far  disgrace^ 
— the  servicei^as  you^ 
&iend,  there,  with  tlio  < 
sweLe<l  lip,  and — black  4g 

When  I  first  made  my^ 
tains,  tiien  and  there  coB 
me  w-ith  any  thing  but  4 
turned  up  their  nosee,  raj 
astonished,  and  all  disgia 
of  this  s[x-iH-li,  I  was  sur] 
wliich  beamed  upon  me  I 
ously  shaped  and  coloui 
was  magic  in  the  wonls  ' 
and  "my  young  friend." 

Captain  Reud  replied,  * 
much  the  faidt  of  Mr.  1 
the  first  blush  appear  to  t 
a  wicked,  mischievous  yi 
was  appointed  the  youn^ 
Incredible  as  the  fact  mi 
contrived,  in  a  manner  tl 
beEt  explain  to  you,  to  de 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  )75 

his  young  masters,  merely  in  the  wantonness  of 

his  malice.     I   know  that  Mr.  Rattlin  is  well 

provided  with  money,  and  that  he  will  take  the 

first  opportmiity  again  to  assume  the  garb  of  a 

gentleman ;  and  I  do  assure  your  lordship  that 

no  man  becomes  it  better." 

# 

"  Sir,  if  this  youth  be  Mr.  Rattlin  —  I  believe 
it — the  very  oldest  blood  in  the  country  flows  in 
his  veins  —  but,  it  does  seem  a  sort  of  a  kind  of 
a  species  of  miracle  how  a  scion  of  that  noble 
house  should  stand  before  me,  his  father's  friend, 
with  two  black  eyes  and  a  ragged  jacket — there 
may  be  sonte  mistake  after  all.  I  was  going,  Mr. 
Rattlin,  to  take  you  with  me  to  my  hotel,  having 
matters  of  the  utmost  importance  to  communi- 
cate to  you ;  but,  oh  no !  —  I  am  not  fastidious, 
so  we  had  better  first  have  a  little  private  confer- 
ence in  the  after  —  gentlemen,  will  you  excuse 
us?"  bowing  round — "  Captain  Reud  will  per- 
haps do  me  the  favour  to  be  of  the  party?" 

So,  into  the  after-cabin  we  three  went,  I  burn- 
ing with  impatience,  and  speechless  with  agita- 
tion, supposing  that  the  much-coveted  secret  of 
my  parentage  would  be  at  length  unfolded  to  me. 


174  RATTLIN,  1^1 

Lord  \^^ufflelial».  ani 
seated  with  thi^ir  backlf 
and  1  standing  before  ^ 
upon  my  disfigured  fac^] 
deal  more  the  look  of( 
being  tried  for  petty  Ian 
tleman  on  the  eve  of  Q 
heir  to  greatness  by  a  vj 

There  was  a  pause  fb| 
which  Lord  Wliiffledal©* 
posing,  and  the  light  ofi 
with  incipient  insanity  i 
tainly,"  1  said  to  mysell 
practice  one  of  his  mad  p; 
iVihniralty ! "     Wliat  wil 

His  lordship,  having  ta 
and  looked  round  him  w 
tion,  fixing  his  dull  eye 
his  head,  with  an  equabl 
down,  spoke  as  follows  : 

"Tliere  is  a  Pro\-iden 
wen,  Mr.  Rattlin,  in  the 
has  protected  om-  glorioii 
sanctified  the  pillars  of 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.         175 

is,  Mr.  Rattlin  —  do  you  really  know  what  Pro- 
vidence is  ? — I  ask  you  the  question  advisedly — 
1  always  speak  advisedly  —  I  ask  you,  do  you 
know  what  Providence  is  ?  —  Do  not  speak  — 
interruptions  are  unseemly  —  there  are  few  who 
interrupt  me.  Providence,  young  man,  has 
brought  me  on  board  this  frigate  to-day  —  the 
wind  is  north-easterly,  what  there  is  of  it,  may 
increase  my  catarrh  —  there  is  the  hand  of  Pro- 
vidence in  every  thing.  I  promised  my  most 
honourable  friend,  that  I  would  see  you  as  you 
are — how  equipped,  how  lodged,  "  how  cabined, 
cribbed,  confined.'  Apt  quotation  I  —  you  are 
cabined  —  you  are  cribbed  —  you  are  confined — 
cribbed  —  look  at  your  countenance  —  as  I  said 
before,  't  is  the  hand  of  Providence — " 

"  Begging  your  lordship's  pardon,"  said  Reud 
submissively,  with  the  dubious  twinkle  in  his 
eye,  *^for  interrupting  a  nobleman  who  is  so 
seldom  interrupted  —  I  rather  think  that  it  was 
the  fist  of  Pigtop." 

"  Pigtop  ! — Providence — ^my  quotation.  Cap- 
tain Reud,  I  have  not  really  the  pleasure  of 
understanding  you.     This   yoimg  gentleman. 


176 


RA-rrLiN,  Tn 


yH 


who  haa  been  so  lat^ 
of  Providence — ' 

"  Pigtop's," 

"  Is  now  about  to  receif 
hand  some  of  the  choiceal 
ness  of  maji  to  receive ;  t 
blessing.  Oh  !  'tia  too  j 
—  what  can  I  possibly  di 
black  eyes?  Mr.  Ralph' 
3'et  spoken  to  me — indeed 
words  would  be  sufficitl 
of — what  yoti  mught  to  ex] 
do  n't  you  find  this  see 
Young  gentleman,  1  am  1 
are  you  fiiUy  prepared,  si 
verified?" 

"My  lord,  my  lord,  I  a 
patience  !" 

"  Dursting  with  inijjati 
affecting,  certainty — touch 
the  exception  of  the  blacli 
not  Miss  Bumey  make  of  i 
mble  novels  !  But  you  mi 
a  better  word  than  bursti 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  177 

dissolve  with  emotion  at  this  tender  scene— the 
discovery  of  his  parentage  Jbo  a  tall  ingenuous 
youth — ^bursting — ^you  might  have  used,  firstly, 
burning — secondly,  glowing — thirdly,  consuming 
^fourthly,  raging — fifthly,  dying — sixthly,  there 
is  perishing ;  but  I  will  not  much  insist  upon  the 
last,  though  it  is  certainly  better  than  bursting. 
You  mean  to  say  that  you  are  burning,  not 
bursting,  with  impatience — it  is  a  natural  feel- 
ing, it  is  commendable,  it  is  worthy  of  a  son  of 
your  most  honourable  fia^ther — I  will  faithfully 
report  to  him  this  filial  impatience,  and  how 
eager  I  was  to  remove  it.  I  do  not  say,  satisfy 
it  —  a  person  less  careful  of  the  varieties  of 
language  would  have  said  satisfy — an  impati- 
ence satisfied  is  what  ? — a  contradiction  of  terms ; 
but,  an  impatience  removed,  is  —  is  —  the  re- 
moval of  an  impatience.  This  interview  will  grow 
very  touching.  Those  blackened  eyes — I  would 
that  there  were  a  green  shade  over  them.  Are 
you  prepared  to  be  verified  ?'* 

I  bowed,  fearing  that  any  other  expression  of 
my  wishes  would  lead  to  farther  digression.  Hie 
lordship,  then  putting   on  his  spectacles,  and 

I  5 


178 


RATTLIN,  rali 


M 


reading  from  a  paper,  oa 

the  while,  trembling  witJd 

"Are  you  the  person  W 
Rose  Brandon,  the  wife  4 
trade  a  sawyer?"  ' 

"  r  am." 

"  What  name  did  you  | 
care  of  those  persons }"     | 

"  Ralph  RattUn  Brandj) 

"  Right,  very  good.  ( 
shortly— my  heart  yeanij 
you  removed  to  a  school, 
plain  carriuge,  from  tliose 

"  I  was." 

"To  where  ?" 

"  To  Mr,  Roots'  academ 

'*  Right — a  good  boy,  a 
removed  to  Mr,  Roots  j  a 
bibed  the  rudiments  of 
you  were  removed  to  wher 

"  To  a  boarding-school 
gentleman  at  Stickenham, 
thought  I  had  found  a  mot 

"  Stop,  we  are  not  com 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  179 

too  affecting  —  of  that  anon  —  as  somebody 
says  in  some  play.  Have  you.  Captain  Reud,  a 
glass  of  water  ready,  should  this  amiable  youth 
or  myself  feel  faint  during  this  excitixig  inves- 
tigation ?" 

"  Perfectly  ready,"  said  the  Creole,  decidedly 
in  one  of  his  insane  fits,  for  he  immediately 
skipped  behind  his  lordship,  and,  jumping  upon 
the  locker,  stood  ready  to  invert  a  glass  of  water 
upon  his  nicely  powdered-head,  containing  at 
least  three  gallons,  this  glass  being  a  large  globe 
containing  several  curious  fish,  which  swung, 
attached  to  the  beam,  directly  over  my  interro- 
gator. 

Here  was  a  critical  situation  for  me !  A  mad 
captain  about  to  blow  the  grampus,  (i.  e.  souse), 
a  lord  of  the  Admiralty,  that  same  lord,  I 
firmly  believed,  about  todeclare  himself  my  father. 
I  was,  in  a  manner,  spell-boimd.  Afraid  to 
interrupt  the  conference,  I  bethought  me  that 
my  Lord  Whiffledale  would  be  no  less  my  father 
wet  or  dry,  and  so  I  determined  to  let  things 
take  their  course.  So  I  permitted  his  lordship 
to  go  on  with  his  questions,  at  every  one  of 


J 


IBO 

which  Captmn  R«ud,  lodV 
boon  tlian  a  human  bdv 
more  and  more,  I 

"  All  very  satisfwtoiy/ 
indeed  I  And  now,  Ral^ 
been  in  the  habit  of  diaivj 
while  yoxx  were  in  the  \ 

"  Mr. ,  ctf  i 

Temple. 

"  Perfectly   uorrect  - 
i"g-)  'i 

"  Are  you  a  well  growrf 

"  Of  an  interesting  pliyi 

Here  the  malicious  mad 
the  most  laughable  niani 
head  of  the  ancient  lord. 

"  I  hope  you  will  thinl 
iiave  recovered  my  usual  1 

"  Ugh  —  hum  —  ha  — 
approaching  to  black  ?" 

"  No." 

"  With  intensely  black 

"  No." — "  Vks."     Mil 


RATTLIN,  THE  REBFEiU  181 

Captain  Reud's  the  affirmative^  spoken  simul- 
taneously. 

At  this  cruris,  his  lordship  had  made  a  ve^r 
proper  and  theatrical  start.  Captain  Baud 
grasped  the  glass  with  both  hands ;  and^  the 
severe  bright  eye  of  Doctor  Thompson  fell  upon 
the  prank-playing  captain.  The  effect  was  in- 
stantaneous :  he  slank  away  from  his  intended 
mischief,  completely  subdued.  The  fire  left  his 
eye,  the  grin  his  countenance;  and  he  stood 
beside  his  lordship,  in  a  moment,  the  quiet  and 
gentlemanly  post-captain,  deferentially  polite  in 
the  presence  of  his  superior.  I  understood  the 
thing  in  a  moment — ^it  was  the  keeper  and  his 
patient. 

"  1  am  particularly  sorry,  my  lord,**  said  the 
doctor — "  I  am  very  particularly  sorry,  Captain 
Reud,  to  break  in  upon  you  imannounced ;  the 
fact  is,  I  did  knock  several  times,  but  I  suppose 
I  was  not  heard.  This  letter,  my  lord,  I  hope 
will  be  a  sufficient  apology." 

His  lordship  took  the  letter  with  a  proud  con- 
descension. Captain  Reud  said,  "  Dr.  Thomp- 
son's presence  is  always  acceptable  to  me/' 


■ 

^^^^^^^^^B 

1 

,      182                    RATTLIN,  TM 

^^^H 

; 

Lord  Wiiffledale  read( 

^^^^H 

times  distinctly ;  then,  filQ 

^^^^H 

turned  a  palish  purple,  tha 

^M 

In  no  other  manner  did  h4 

possession.                         ( 

"Dr.  niompson,"   saU 

calmly,  "  let  me  see  son^ 

^^^^H 

^^^^H 

immediately."                    \ 

^^^^H 

"Anticipating  tlie  rstg 

^^^^H 

Uiem  w-ith  me."     The  dM 

^^^^H 

hands  several  letters  and  g 

^^^^H 

lordship  exclaimed : 

^^^^H 

"1  am  confoundwi.     It 

^^^^H 

Gcanprehension — (  know  n 

^^^^H 

excessively   distressing. 

^^^^H 

1  had  never  meddled  in  tlM 

^^^^H 

tlie  young  man  ?  " 

^M 

K 

"  Certainly,  my  lord  ;  1 
immediately." 

During  Dr.    Thompson' 

H 

lordship  walked  up  and  do' 
brow,  and  much  more  th, 
movements.      Not   wholly 
completely  to  my  dismay,  t 

1 

^ 

RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  183 

with  my  arch  and  only  enemy  in  his  hand- 
Joshua  Daimton. 

The  contrast  between  him  and  me  was  not  at 
all  in  my  favour.  Not  in  uniform  certainly,  but 
scrupulously  clean,  with  a  superfine  blue  cloth 
jacket  and  trousers,  white  neckerchief,  and  clean 
linen  shirt ;  he  looked  not  only  respectable,  but 
even  gentlemanly.  I  have  before  described  my 
appearance.  I  may  be  spared  the  Iiateful  repe- 
tition. 

"And,  so,"  said  his  lordship,  turning  to 
Joshua,  "you  are  tlie  true  and  veritable  Ralph 
Rattlin  ?  '^ 

**  1  am,  my  lord,"  said  the  imblushing  liar. 
"  The  young  gentleman  near  you  is  my  illegi- 
timate brother ;  his  mother  is  a  beautiful  lady, 
of  the  name  of  Causand,  a  most  artful  woman. 
She  first  contrived  to  poison  Sir  Reginald's  mind 
with  insinuations  to  my  disfavour ;  and,  at  last,  so 
well  carried  on  her  machinations  as  to  drive  me 
first  from  the  paternal  roof,  and,  lastly,  I  confess 
it  with  horror  and  remorse,  into  a  course  so  evil 
as  to  compel  me  to  change  my  name,  fly  from 
my  coimtry,  and  subject  me  to  the  lash  at  the 


^H 

^ 

^^^^^H 

H 

1 

j 

1S4                        HATTLIN,  Tq| 

^^^H 

( 
1 

gangway.     If  these  docuoi 

^^^^H 

your  hands,  and  to  your'a 

^^^^H 

every  doubt  as  to  the  ^ 

^^^^H 

1 

afford  me  but  a  Uttla  t^ 

^H 

London,  and  every  poiotl 
cleared  up,"                     J 

^M 

He  then  placed  in  Lqj 
the  papers  that  had  beqlT 
Tliompson.     Captain  Red 

1 

presence  of  the  good  doc| 
deportment,  stepped   foil 
lordflhip  that  1,  at  least, ' 

that,  if  imposition  had  beei 

made  an  unconstriuus  instr 

"  Perhaps,"  said  his  lordi 

1 

1 

the  papers,  and  returning 
young  gentleman  witli  th 
do  us  the  favour,  in  a  few 
own  version  of  the  story- 
sumptive,  if  I  can  tell  wh 
Pure  !  '■ 

Placed  thus  in  the  emb 
pleading  for  my  own  idenl 
very  little  tu  say  for  mysel 

RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  185 

that,  although  always  unowned,  I  had  been  con- 
tinuously cared  for  —  and,  that  the  bills  I  had 

drawn  upon  Mr. ,  the  lawyer  in  the  King's 

Bench  Walk  in  the  Temple,  had  always  been 
honoured.  My  lord  shook  his  head  when  I  had 
finished,  diplomatically.  He  took  snuff.  He 
then  eyed  me  and  my  adversary  carefully.  He 
now  waved  his  head  upwards  and  downwards, 
and  at  length  opened  his  mouth  and  spoke : 

"  Captain  Reud,  I  wash  my  hands  of  this 
business.  I  cannot  decide.  I  was  going  to  take 
on  shore  with  me  the  legitimate  and  too-long 
neglected  son  of  my  good  old  friend.  Sir  Re- 
ginald. Wliere  is  that  son  ?  I  come  on  board 
the  Eos,  and  I  ask  him  at  your  hands.  Captain 
Reud.  Is  that  person  with  the  discoloured 
countenance  my  friend's  son  ?  Certainly  not. 
Is  that  other  person  his  son — a  disgraced  man  ? 
Knowing  the  noble  race  of  my  friend,  I  should 
say,  certainly  not.  Where  is  Sir  Ralph's  son  ? 
He  is  not  here  —  or,  if  he  be  here,  I  cannot  dis- 
tinguish him.  I  wash  my  hands  of  it  —  I  hate 
mysteries.  I  will  take  neither  of  them  to  London. 
I  am  under  some  sliffht  obligations  to  Sir  Re- 


ginald — and  yet — I  C| 
of  eWdence  eertmnly 
the  new  clainumt.  ) 
permit  him  to  land,  i 
immediately,  and  han) 
the  Lawyer ;  and,  if  h( 
will  receive  from  him 
his  future  proceedingi 


RATTLIN,  TH£  REEFER. 


187 


CHAPTER  XV. 

The  coufessions  of  a  madman^  which^  nevertheless^  em- 
brace a  very  wise  caution — Ralph  gets  his  liberty-ticket 
—  very  needless,  as  he  is  determined  hencefonvard  to 
preserve  his  liberty — and,  being  treated  so  uncivilly  as 
a  sailor,  determines  to  turn  civilian  himself. 

Here  Captain  Reud  interrupted  the  speaker, 
and  told  him  that  Joshua  was  a  prisoner  under 
punishment,  and  waiting  only  for  convalescence 
to  receive  the  remainder  of  his  six  dozen  lashes. 
At  hearing  this,  his  lordship  appeared  truly 
shocked ;  and,  drawing  Reud  aside,  they  con- 
versed, for  some  minutes,  in  whispers. 

At  the  conclusion  of  this  conference,  Captain 
Reud  stepped  forward;  and,  regarding  Joshua 
with  a  look  of  much  severity,  he  said :  ^'  Young 
man,  for  the  sake  of  other  parties,  and  of  other 


HATTLIN,  TH* 


intererts,  your  errors  are  o) 
charge  from  this  sliip  shall 
ately.  If  you  are  the  pa 
your  three  or  four  montha*] 
sequence  to  you.  Have  J 
proceed  to  London  imme^ 
"  Much  more  than  sufli 
"  I  thought  so.  Procg 
lawyer's.  If  you  are  no  § 
a  father's  forgiveness  am 
you  were  ever  in  this  sb^ 
out  your  discharge  immei 
yourself.  You  are  watcliet 
eye  upon  you  :  if  you  sw 
laid  down  for  you,  and  . 

Mr. 's  office, be  assure* 

in  irons  under  the  half-dei 

correctly  expressed  your  ii 

"  Correctly,  Captain  Ri 

"  Joshua  Daunton,  get 

in  the  raesui  time,  I  will  gi 

to  the  clerk.     You  may  g 

Witli  an  ill-concealed  t 

nance,  Joshua  Daunton  t 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  189 

all  but  myself.  To  me  he  advanced  with  an 
insulting  smile  and  an  extended  hand.  I  shrank 
back  loathingly. 

"  FareweU,  brother  Ralph.  I  told  you  that 
I  should  be  in  London  before  you.  Will  you 
favour  me  with  any  commands?  Well  —  your 
pride  is  not  unbecoming  —  I  will  not  resent  it 
for  your  father's  sake :  and,  for  his  and  for  your 
sake,  I  will  forgive  the  juggle  that  has  hitherto 
placed  the  natural  son  —  that  is,  I  believe,  the 
delicate  paraphrase — in  the  station  of  the  rightful 
heir.     Farewell." 

I  made  no  reply :  he  left  the  cabin,  and,  in  an 
hour  after,  the  ship.  I  shall  not  advantage  my- 
self of  that  expression,  so  fully  naturalized  in 
novels,  that  *^  my  feelings  might  be  conceived, 
but  cannot  be  expressed :"  for  they  can  be  ex- 
pressed easily  enough  —  in  two  words,  stupified 
indignation.  After  Joshua  had  departed,  the 
other  persons  remaining  in  the  after-cabin  fol- 
lowed shortly  after  —  with  the  exception  of  my- 
self;  for  Reud  told  me  to  stay  where  I  then  was, 
until  he  should  see  me  again. 

In  the  course  of  an  hour,  Lord  Whiffledale 


21 


190  RATTLIN,  TM 

went  on  shore  with  hisi 
Reud  returned  into  the  ^ 
been,  during  his  abseuoft 
He  was  a  little  flushedj 
taken,  but  perfectly  saaa^ 
kindly,  and,  placing  his  hi 
looked  me  fully  and  ed 
There  was  no  wild  specu| 
looked  mild  and  mothd 
gathered  in  each  gradual^ 
flowing  the  sockets,  slow^ 
and  sallow  cheeks.  He 
hand  ]iea\d]y  on  tlie  top  p( 
claiming,  in  a  voice  so  lov 
touching,  that  my  bosom 
"  It  is  here ! — it  is  here  !" 
"  Ralph,  my  good  Ralj 
had  seated  himself,  weepiu 
"  we  will  take  leave  of  eai 
true  brothers  in  sorrow  — 
same  —  you  have  lost  you 
Ever  since  that  cursed  a 
Read's  sou!  was  looseued  1 
the  greatest  trouble  to  ke< 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.         191 

poreal  frame :  jt  goes  away,  in  spite  of  me,  at 
times,  and  some  other  soul  gets  into  this  withered 
ecu-case,  and  plays  me  sad  tricks  —  sad  tricks, 
Rattlin  —  sad  tricks.     My  identity  is  gone,  and 
so,  poor  youth,  is  your's.     We  will  part  friends. 
These  tears  are  not  all  for  you  —  they  are  for 
myself,  too.     I  do  not  mind  crying  before  you 
now,  for  it  is  not  the  true  John  Reud  that  is 
now  weeping.    You  think  that  I  have  been  a 
tyrant  to  you  —  but,  I  tell  you,  Rattlin,  there 
is  a  tyrant  in  the  ship  greater  than  I  —  it  is  that 
horrible  Dr.  Thompson.     He  is  plotting  to  take 
away  my  commission,  and  to  get  me  into  a  mad- 
house— a  madhouse  ! — oh,  my  God  ! — ^my  God  ! 
remove  from  me  this  agony.     Hath  Thine  awful 
storm   no   thimderbolt  —  Thy  wave   no  tomb! 
Must  I  die  on  the  straw,  like  a  beast  of  burden 
worn  to  death  by  loathsome  toil  ? — and  so  many 
swords  to  have  flashed  harmlessly  over  my  head, 
so  many  balls  to  have  whistled  idly  past  my  body ! 
But,  God's  will  be  done !     Bear  yourself,  my 
dear  boy,  carefully  in  the  presence  of  all  medical 
men.    They  have  the  eye  of  the  fanged  adder. 
You  know  that  your  identity  also  has  been  ques- 


n 


tioned ;  hut  your  fate  i) 
you  can  hear,  see,  toud^ 
always  eludes  me,  whe* 
excursion,  to  my  tmni 
you,  when  I  got  hold  ofj 
and  is  not,  yourself,  I  i 
crush  it,  1  would  destrM 

"  I  will,  so  may  Heq 
mort  need !"  ^ 

"  Well  said,  my  Ix^j 
has  no  right  to  get  himM 
a  wret<:lu'd  world  an  opj 
Ralph  Rattlin  had  been 
way.  But  do  not  lot  th 
will  do  well  yet — while  I 
— I  might  then  escape, 
pray  for  strength  of  mi 
— mark  me,  strength  of  I 
if  misfortunes  should  c 
leave  me  any  thing  bett 
clanking  chains,  come 
Now  go,  (and  he  wrung 
tell  Doctor  Thompson  I 
and  just  hint  to  him  h 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.         193 

santly  we  have  been  discoursing  together  —  and 
remember  my  parting  words  —  deport  yom^elf 
warily  before  the  doctors,  carefully  preserve 
your  identity,  and  sometimes  think  on  your  poor 
captain." 

ITiis  last  interview  with  Captain  Reud,  for  it 
was  my  last,  would  have  made  me  wretched,  had 
it  not  been  swallowed  up  by  a  deeper  wretched- 
ness of  my  own. 

Early  next  morning,  we  weighed,  and  made 
sail  for  Sheemess.  On  anchoring  in  the  Med- 
way,  Captain  Reud  went  on  shore ;  and,  as  I 
shall  have  no  more  occasion  to  refer  to  him,  I 
shall  state  at  once,  that  the  very  fate  he  so  feared 
awaited  him.  Six  months  after  he  left  the  Eos, 
lie  died  raving  mad,  in  a  private  receptacle  for 
the  insane. 

At  Sheemess  we  were  paid  off.  Tliose  of  the 
ship's  company  who,  by  the  length  of  their  ser- 
vice, were  entitled  to  that  grace,  received  a 
month's  leave  of  absence,  with  only  half  their 
pay ;  in  order  to  ensure  their  return,  the  other 
half  being  kept  back.  Tliey  had  their  passes 
signed — ^I  call  them  passes  instead  of  liberty- 

VOL.  III.  K 


194                      RATTLIN,  THI 

tickets  —  because  they  t 

■                           gentries  at  the  outposW: 

landing,  they  had  foimd- 

in  an  enemy's  country. ' 

one  month.      Instead  ol 

Sheeraesa,  I  took  the  | 

order  to  present  it  at  Q 

should  arrive  in  Londoai 
As  I  went  over  the  | 

m        last  time,  I  was  tempted, 

off  my  feet,  for,  of  a  sup 

an  accursed  abode  to  me. 

sliipmates  and  messmates 

was  indignant  at   somCj 

They  had,  in  my  opinioE 

1                            the  varnished  tale  of  a 

1 1                           went  east,  and  west,and  nt 

1                             of  tlif  m  I  ever  again  met- 

JU                               single  exception,  I  either 

t                                    In  order  entirely  to  elu 

had  on  board,  not  much 

exception  of  my  sextant  a 

^^^         on                       me  only 

^K  . 

RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  195 

they  were),  in  which  I  stood.  I  went  to  no 
hotel  or  inn ;  but,  seeing  a  plain  and  humble 
house  in  which  there  were  lodgings  to  let  for 
single  men,  I  went  and  hired  a  little  apartment 
that  contained  a  press-bedstead.  I  took  things 
leisurely  and  quietly.  I  was  now  fully  determined 
to  discover  my  parentage ;  and,  after  that  event, 
entirely  to  be  governed  by  circumstances,  as  to 
my  future  course  of  life,  and  the  resuming  of 
the  naval  profession.  The  old  couple,  in  whose 
house  I  was  for  the  present  located,  were  as 
orderly  and  iminquisitive  as  I  could  wish.  The 
man  was  a  superannuated  and  pensioned  dock- 
yard mate. 

My  first  operations  were  sending  for  a  tailor, 
hatter,  and  those  other  architects  so  essential  in 
building  up  the  outward  man.  The  costume  I 
now  chose  was  as  remote  from  official  as  could 
be  made.  I  provided  myself  with  one  complete 
suit  only,  leaving  the  rest  of  my  wardrobe  to  be 
completed  in  London. 

Knowing  that  1  had  an  active  and  intelligent 
enemy  who  had  two  days  the  start  of  me,  I  was 
determined  to  act  with  what  I  thought  caution. 

k2 


RATTLIN,  THE  REKFER. 


I  hail  more  than  a  half-year's  stipend  due  tt 
I  accordingly  drew  for  it  upon  the  law; 
nearly  £75,  intimating  to  him,  at  the  : 
time,  by  letter,  my  arrival  in  England,  and  a 
ing  if  he  had  any  instructions  as  to  my  fiita 
disposal.  This  letter  was  answered  by  i 
turn  of  post,  written  with  all  the  brevity  i 
business,  stating  that  no  such  instructions  } 
been  received,  and  enelosing  an  order  on  1 
Shoemess  Bank  for  the  money. 

So  far,  all  was  highly  satisfactory.  It  prore3 
two  things  (  first,  that  Joshua  Daunton  had  do) 
yet  carried  his  machinations  in  the  quarter  from 
which  arose  the  supplies ;  and,  secondly,  that  I 
should  now  have  considerable  tunds  wherewith 
to  prosecute  my  researches. 

In  the  space  of  three  days,  behold  me  dressed 
in  the  fashionable  costume  of  the  period  —  blue 
coat,  broad  yellow  buttons,  yellow  waistcoat 
with  ditto,  white  corduroy  continuations,  tied 
with  several  strings  at  the  knees,  and  topped 
boots.  It  was  in  the  reign  of  the  "  bloods  " 
and  the  "  ruffians,"  more  ferocious  species  of 
coxcombs   than  our   dandies,  and  much  more 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  197 

armoying.  They  wore  a  number  of  white  ker- 
chiefs round  the  neck,  so  as  generally  to  bury 
the  chin  in  them  almost  to  the  upper  lip ;  and  a 
knotted  and  crooked  stick  was  usually  carried 
in  the  hand,  or  knowingly  twisted  roimd  the 
right  arm.  The  hat  was  high  and  conical,  like 
that  of  the  present  French  republican.  As  to 
their  manners,  their  walk  was  a  swagger,  their 
look  an  impudence,  and  their  conversation  a  tissue 
of  oaths,  ^rhey  were  rude  to  the  men  upon 
principle,  and  careless  of  the  ladies  in  practice, 
dnmkards  by  profession,  and,  being  sworn  ene- 
mies to  lavender,  they  drew  their  perfumes  from 
the  storehouse  of  Bacchus,  and  despised  the 
laboratory  of  Flora.  Like  one  of  these  it  was 
my  ambition  to  make  myself  look.  I  conclude  that 
I  was  tolerably  successful ;  for,  as  I  occasionally 
walked  about  the  streets  of  Sheemess,  I  con- 
tinually met  some  of  the  late  crew  of  the  Eos,  but 
never,  on  their  part,  with  any  signs  of  recognition. 
Poor  fellows ! — more  than  half  of  them  never 
got  beyond  the  precincts  of  Sheemess.  For  a 
week  after  their  discharge,  numbers  of  them 
were  to  be  foimd  at  all  hours,  rolling,  or  lying, 


191 


BATTUN,  T^ 


n 


about  the  streets,  in  all  I 
aiul,  in  all  degrees,  apprai 
He  who  took  a  week  to  at 
earnings  was  dilatoiy  -^ 
average  period ;  whilst  (j 
blessed  with  the  genius^ 
to  get  ruined  in  three  1h| 
board  tlie  guard-ship  Ln^ 
hour  found  him  beastly  A 
bed  and  stripped  to  his  bai 
out  in  this  state  into  ths 
and  the  fourth,  in  mere 
the  guard-ship  in  a  state 

By  all  this  demoralizatii 
diture,  nobody  ever  bene 
the  keepers  of  public-hoi 
first  rob  the  seainen  are  a 

The  pawnbroker,  the  ] 
share  the  spoils  between  t 
war,  many  a  vast  fortune 
this  shabby  manner.  It 
cannot  be  devised  to  ma] 
dent  as  he  is  brave.  More 
perhaps,   teacli  him  to  i 


RATTLIN,  THE  REBFER. 


199 


Drunk  or  sober^  my  late  shipmates  knew  me 
not,  at  which  I  was  extremely  well  pleased.  But, 
notwithstanding  my  excellent  management— ex- 
cellent, at  least,  in  my  own  opinion— there  was 
one  eye  continually  upon  me,  though,  at  the 
time,  I  knew  it  not. 


CHAPl'ER  XVI. 


Ralph  finds  every  where  great  c 
hit  feelings,  and  makes  a  fuol  of  hinuelf — Tin*  C 

will  be  found  cither  tht  worst  or  the  best  of  Ralp 

coiifessioijs,  according  to  the  feeling?  of  llii;  resder. 


M 
k 


•^ 


Having  stayed  one  week  at  Sheemess,  a 
laid  down  my  plan  of  futuir  action,  I  started 
t]u>  passage-boat  for  Chatham.  I  don't  kni 
whether  any  Margate-hoys  are  now  in  existent 
Probably  not,  being  all  puffed  away  by  Bt«i 
This  passage-boat  was  a  similar  vessel  in  eo 
struction ;  but  the  company  were  like,  what  ' 
consider,  will  be  the  case  in  the  kingdom  of  He 
ven,  a  mixture  of  all  classes.  Tlie  cabin  w 
very  full  —  sailors  and  their  wives,  marines,  s 
diers,  dock-yard  artificers,  Jews,  fishermen,  pe 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  201 

patetic  venders  of  muscles — all  upon  an  equality. 
Indeed,  the  only  method  to  be  exclusive,  con- 
sisted in  wrapping  one's  self  up  in  silence  and  a 
large  cloak.  This  method  I  adopted.  Silence 
on  my  part,  and  the  continued  hubbub  on  the 
part  of  my  shipmates,  produced  sleep  —  but 
my  sleep  was  imsound  and  continually  broken. 
There  was  not  much  room  for  recimibency.  I 
found  it,  however  5  and  placed  the  only  luggage 
that  I  had,  a  small  parcel,  covered  with  brown 
paper,  under  my  head  as  a  pillow.  The  parcel 
contained  my  logs,  and  my  certificates,  and  a 
single  change  of  linen.  Very  providentially,  I 
had  placed  my  pay-ticket,  with  my  bank  notes, 
in  my  pocket-book. 

Once,  as  I  opened  my  eyes  at  the  explosion  of 
an  oath  more  loud  than  usual,  methought  J  saw 
the  sodden  and  white-complexioned  face  of  Joshua 
Daunton  hanging  closely  over  mine.  I  started 
up,  and  rubbed  my  eyes,  but  the  vision  had  fled. 
I  was  determined  to  be  watchful ;  and,  with  this 
determination  in  fuU  activity,  I  again  fell  asleep : 
nor  was  I  once  more  properly  awakened  until 
we  had  arrived  at  Chatham,  alongside  of  the 

K  5 


I 


r\ 


202  RATTLIN,  TH^ 

landing-place.  Wiien  1  | 
to  my  coastematioD,  1  dit^ 
was  no  where  to  be  foul( 
sengers  had  already  gontl 
that  remained  knew  nottq 
my  packet.  Indeed,  I  aai 
myself,  as  my  pauei^  of' 
tensions  of  my  dress  H^ 
aace.  The  gentleman  inl 
brown  paper  parcel  seaH 
Seeing  how  ineffectual  fl 
peace,  now  that  I  had  not! 
on  the  outside  of  the  fin 
and,  by  ten  at  night,  foun 
room  of  the  White  Horse, 
I  ordered  supper  —  1 
ai^er  1  hail  discussed  th 
But  the  waiters  were  susp 
of  "  tlie  gentleman  with  i 
sttad  of  the  attendant  I 
jat'k,  the  fellow,  placing 
that  hung  over  the  pa 
box,  placed  the  bill  befb 
saying  that  it  was  inva 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  203 

the  White  Horse,  for  gentlemen  to  pay  for 
every  thing  as  they  had  it.  To  this  invariable 
custom,  I  replied  that  I  could  have  no  objec- 
tion,  but  that  I  did  a  little  object  to  pay  for 
what  I  had  had  twice  over ;  so,  pulling  out  a 
handful  of  gold,  I  asked  to  speak  to  the  master* 

The  man  was  exceedingly  civil,  and  acknow- 
ledged, at  once,  that  the  charges  were  exorbitant ; 
so,  whilst  he  was  reducing  them  with  the  pen 
in  his  hand,  he  reminded  me  that  he  ought  to 
consider  risk,  especially  as  I  had  arrived  with 
no  luggage. 

"  But  my  appearance  ? "  said  I,  a  little  nettled. 

"  Is,"  said  he,  "  or  rather  was,  put  down  in 
the  bill." 

Now,  as  I  perceived,  by  my  landlord's  man- 
ner, that  he  had  no  wish  to  be  offensive,  I 
declined  any  farther  discussion  on  appearances : 
but  I  did  not  fail  to  make  some  salutary  reflec- 
tions upon  them,  upon  which  I  was  determined 
to  act  next  morning. 

I  must  necessarily  be  minute  in  detailing  the 
circumstances  that  were  now  leading  me  on  so 
rapidly  to  the  grand  catastrophe  of  my  life  j  and. 


204  RATTLIN,  TM 

if  I  dwell  less  upon  my  S 
jnj  actions,  it  must  be  l| 
are  of  more  consequence 
forraer  be  proprly  studia 
when  I  arose,  it  was  mj 
February ;  and  I  stood  j 
perfectly  isolated.  But! 
ecending  into  the  coS^ 
CourtGuide;  butmymosi 
discover  no  such  persoiq 
Sir  Reginald  Rattlin.  f 
went  to  Somerset  House, 
then  repaired  to  the  ai 
Lord  Whiffledale,in  Groev 
liome,"  and  "  in  the  cou 
were  the  surly  answers  of 
It  was  a  day  of  disappoi 
who  cashed  my  biHs  was 
To  all  my  intreaties  first 
questions  afterwards,  he  ga 
answers.  He  told  me  th 
farther  instructions  concen 
injunctions  that  I  should  i 
sent  protection  tliat  1  enjo 


n 


RAtTLTN,  THE  REEFER.  205 

tx)  explore  what  it  was  the  intention  of  those  on 
whom  I  depended  to  keep  concealed;  and  he 
finally  wished  me  a  good  morning,  and  was 
almost  on  the  point  of  handing  me  out  of  his 
office. 

But  I  would  not  be  so  repelled.  I  became 
impassioned  and  loud ;  nor  would  I  depart  until 
he  assured  me,  on  his  honour,  that  he  knew 
almost  as  little  of  the  secret  as  myself,  and  that 
he  was  only  the  agent  of  an  agent,  never  having 
yet  had  any  communicatdon  with  the  principal, 
whose  name,  even,  he  assured  me,  he  did  not 
know. 

I  had  now  nearly  exhausted  the  day.  The 
intermingling  mists  of  the  season  and  the  heavy 
smoke  of  the  town  were  now  shrouding  the  streets 
in  a  dense  obscurity.  Then  the  nights  of  gas 
were  not.  Profoundly  ignorant  of  the  intricacy 
of  the  streets  of  the  metropolis,  I  was  completely 
at  the  mercy  of  the  hackney-coachmen,  and  they 
made  me  buy  it  extremely  dear.  Merely  from 
habit,  I  again  repaired  to  the  White  Horse,  and 
concluded  my  nineteenth  natal  day  in  incerti- 
tude, solitude,  and  misery.    During  the  ensuing 


yOi^    Farmi 
MBiBtniBofni 


claim  to  caD  ax  soa. 

As  it  did  not  actuall] 
bnt  sevCTi  miks  &cai  1 
nik  thitber  immediate 
was  the  "  gentlemaD  wi 
tions  weiv  suffidentlj 
euitd  the  necessaiy  din 
free  mrself  &om  Londot 
friars  Bridge,  my  mem 
the  road.  I  had  ofl«ii  tr 
schoolboy. 

.4g  I  walked  rapidly 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  207 

sumed  a  different  hue  every  hundred  yards. 
Now,  I  would  figure  to  myself  the  rapturous 
embrace,  the  tearful  eye,  the  hearty  welcome, 
and  all  the  holy  joy  of  the  Prodigal's  return ; 
and  then,  the  sunrise  would  come  over  me  that 
my  life  had  been  a  mistake,  that  hearts  had  grown 
cold,  and  that  studied  civility  would  be  the  mask, 
under  which  estrangement  would  strive  to  hide 
its  cruelty.     But,  as  I  left  the  town  behind  me, 
the  atmosphere  cleared  up,  the  sun  shone  out 
brightly ;  even  a  few  hardy  birds,  by  their  chirp- 
ing,  seemed  to  understand  thatthe  day  before  had 
been  blessed  by  St.  Valentine.  So,  with  a  lighter 
heart,  I  struggled  vigorously  up  the  steep  hill,  at 
the  brow  of  which  I  should  be  able  to  discover  my 
own  dear  play-groimd,  the  romantic  heath  that  lay 
before  it,  and  the  elegant  white  and  rough-cast 
front  of  the  school,  in  which  happiness  had  first 
been  mine,  where  I  bad  been  loved  by  all,  and 
idolized  by  one. 

One  bound,  and  I  was  on  the  brow  of  the  hill, 
and  the  vast  scene  lay  extended  before  me.  A 
sharp  cry  of  anguish  broke  from  my  Ups.  Where 
was  the  heathery  and  wild  common,  so  beautiful 


/^ 


in  the  wantonness  of  nature?  Alaa  !  where  ■_ 
it?  The  spirit  of  Mammon  had  breathed  ball 
fully  over  the  expanse.  It  was  broken  up  infj 
miserable  pittances.  The  plough  had  gone  am 
the  pleasant  walks  ;  the  bituminous  and  oppuB 
sive  stench  of  the  brick-field  had  displaced  tll| 
living  fragrance  of  the  wild  thyme ;  tlie  wea^ 
foot  was  confined  to  one  gravelled  road.  Mu< 
cabins  were  profusely  spread  over  the  surfecej 
and,  with  cultivation,  had  come  sordid  povei^ 
and  dirt,  and  toil,  and  squtUor.  I  could  haii 
wept  at  this  change  —  why  need  I  be  ashamei: 
of  my  feelings  ?  —  I  did  weep.  I  received  thii 
alteration  as  a  sorrowful  presage.  I  asked  m] 
laboujing  heart,  if  three  short  years  were  suffici 
ent  thus  to  alter  the  lovely  face  of  Nature  » 
hideously,  what  1  might  expect  in  man.  Mi 
heart  answered.  Change.  But  the  cup  of  m; 
misery  was  not  yet  full.  Tlie  first  arrow  only 
as  yet,  had  pierced. 

I  came  to  that  spot,  so  consecrated  to  m; 
memory  by  bright  skies  and  brighter  feces 
the  spot  where  I  had  so  often  urged  the  flyinj 
ball  and  marshalled  the  mimic  army  —  it  wa 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  209 

there  that  I  stood ;  and  I  asked  of  a  miserable, 

half-starved   woman,    **  where    was    the  play- 
ground of  my  youth  ?"  and  she  showed  me  a 

"  brick-field." 

I  thought  of  the  Egyptian  bondage,  and  the 
sons  and  daughters  of  Judah,  and  my  heart  was 
exceeding  sad. 

^  I  walked  a  few  steps  farther,  and  asked  for 
the  school-house  of  my  happiest  days — and  one 
pointed  out  to  me  a  brawling  ale-house.  I  saw 
the  depraved  reeling  out,  and  the  beggarly  and 
the  hungry  standing  round  the  doors.  It  was  a 
bitter  change.  It  was  to  me  as  if  hope  after 
hope  was  dying  beneath  my  gaze.  My  step 
tottered,  my  voice  faltered.  It  was  nearly 
choked  with  emotion,  when  I  asked  of  another 
where  was  now  my  old  light-hearted,  deeply- 
learned,  French  schoolmaster,  Monsieur  Cher- 
feuil.  He  had  gone  back  to  France.  The  emigres 
had  been  recalled  by  Napoleon  5  he  had  taken 
with  him  the  fortune  that  he  had  made  in  Eng- 
land— and  the  man  cursed  him.  I  was  too 
dejected  to  avenge  the  insult,  and  I  turned  away 
from  the  wretch  loathingly. 


\ 


310  KA.TTU<<>.  Tsa  amtamm. 

I  kxAfd  to  the  riglxt  aodtoaB  li6,«dn 
nay  1  aj  tl)^  I  »v  i^  isd  shI  ar 
boUgakdaXUndmaBdac    Atkagtk,! 
«7e  rarted  lifoo  a  box^  that  ^d  hmm 
far  jtan  bctvnn  tfae  two  lalcfa^  tic  m^M 
tiiti  iM  tliWgPtitU  tuB  •  md  I  hartBBed 
DyvtfiqHoit.    The  epdlera  bad  leA  tiiM.  1 
w^uifili  was  iataoae ;  1  csned  is  my  Ivart  I 
cpecuULora  that  had  deilKTcd  the  |4b 
oaoi  in  toy  tbougbtE.  EaA  Bocoeednig  relecti 
came  upon  iik  more  de^^poDdiogly  than  t^ 
All  vas  difappoiDtmeDt  and  gkuxn  anxind  aac 
within  me.     I  gazed  and  gazi^  on  the  desecA 
tion  before  me,  mitil  mj  very  ejre-balls  seemet 
to  participate  in  the  agony  of  my  bearL    A 
length,  unable  longer  to  bear  the  hateful  view 
I  placed  my  handkerchief  before  my  eyes  fiw  i 
space — and  then,  and  there,  on  my  old  play 
ground,  and  amidst  my  old  and  violated  associa 
tions,  1  prayed  to  God  for  strength  to  bear  u| 
against  the  many  griefs  that  were  devouring  me 
I  had  not  prayed  for  years  before— and,  yet- 
depraved  and  cast  away  as  I  had  been — 1  wa 
strengthened. 


RATTLIN,  THE  REKFKR.  211 

There  was  one  other  question  that  I  dreaded, 
yet  burned  to  ask — I  need  not  state  how  fearful 
it  was  to  me,  since  it  was  to  leam  the  fate  of 
her  whom  I  had^honoiu'ed,  and  loved,  and  hailed, 
as  my  mother — the  beautiful  and  the  kind  Mrs. 
Cherfeuil.  I  conjectured  that  she,  too,  had  gone 
to  France  with  her  husband,  and  the  idea  was 
'painful  to  me.  When  I  lifted  up  my  head  after 
my  silent  prayer,  I  found  that  a  little  girl,  of 
perhaps  twelve  years  of  age,  had  nestled  herself 
close  to  my  side.  She  was  evidently  in  very 
humble  circumstances,  yet  particularly  clean, 
and  very  good  looking.  She  was  innocently  en- 
deavouring to  attract  my  notice.  Upon  looking 
at  her  with  more  attention,  1  believed  that  I  re- 
collected her  features.  I  resolved  to  speak  to  her, 
and,  if  she  were  the  person  whom  I  supposed  her 
to  be,  to  draw  from  her  all  the  information  that 
I  was  so  anxious  to  acquire. 

"  There  have  been  great  alterations  here,  my 
good  girl." 

"  Very  great,  indeed,  sir — they  have  ruined 
fietther  and  mother." 

"  Who    are  your  father  and  mother  —  and 
where  are  they  ?" 


213 


KATTLIN,  THE  REBFER. 


"  Father  is  gone  to  seEi,  and  mother  is  u 
workhouee.     Before  they  enclosed  the  c 
fattier  cut  furze  and  dug  gravel,  and  kept  i 
with  a  good  bi'lljful  and  a  warm  back, 
said  that  they  enclosed  it  for  the  good  of  tl 
poor — but  the  gentry  have  got  it  all,  and  nobo 
knows  where  the  poor  men's  lots  are.     At  firil 
the  poor  of  the  parish  wouldn't  etand  it,  so  tl 
went  a  rioting,  and  broke  down  the  fences,  i 
turned  in  their  cows,  and  their  sheep,  and  tl 
gee?p,  as  tliey  did  before.     But  the  \: 
strong  for  tliem.     Old  Edgely,  tlie  leader,  was 
transported  for  life ;  my  father  got  off  by  being 
allowed  to  go  on  board  of  a  man-of-war ;  mj 
brothers  are  all  gone  this  way  and  that ;  and 
mother,   being  oldish,   is   now   settled   in   th« 
workhouse.  It  has  never  been  happy  Stickenham 
since." 

'*  Your  name,  my  dear,  is  Susan  Archer." 

"  Bless  me,  so  it  is,  sir  1" 

"  And  you  seem  a  very  intelligent  little  g^l 
indeed." 

"  Yes,  I  have  hada  good  deal  of  book-learning; 
but  all  that  is  past  and  gone  now.  Wlien  Mrs, 
Cherfeuil  lived  in  that  house,  she  took  care  thai 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  21  & 

we  should  always  have  a  home  of  our  own,  fire 
in  the  grate,  and  a  loaf  in  the  cupboard  —  she 
had  me  sent  to  school — but  now  she  is  gone?" 

"  Gone  !  —  where  ?  —  with  her  husband  V 

"  Do  n't  you  know,  sir  ?"  said  she,  rising  from 
her  seat  with  a  quiet  solemnity,  that  made  me 
shudder  with  dreadful  anticipations.  "  If  you 
will  come  with  me,  I  will  show  you." 

I  dared  not  ask  the  awfiil  question,  "  Is  she 
dead  ?"  I  took  my  gentle  guide  by  the  hand, 
and  suffered  her  to  lead  me  slowly  through  the 
village.  Neither  of  us  spoke.  I  obstinately  re- 
fused to  swallow  the  cup  that  was  offered  to  my 
lips.  I  cheated  my  heart  as  long  as  I  was  able. 
She  is  going,  I  said  to  myself,  to  lead  me  where 
I  shall  find  her  in  comparative  poverty — sheltered 
perhaps  by  some  humble  friend.  She  may  be 
even  sick,  bed-ridden,  djring  —  but  cold,  dead, 
that  form  that  I  left  in  the  radiance  of  matronly 
beauty,  the  prey  of  loathsome  corruption  —  it  is 
imnatural,  impossible  !  —  and,  consoling  myself 
thus,  we  slowly  passed  through  the  village. 

I  recognized  several  of  my  old  friends,  but 
they  knew  me  not.     I  had  left  the  place  a  boy, 


2U  RATTLIN,  THE 

anil  I  returned,  at  least  in  appearance^  n  mf 
In  ray  habiliments  I  had  nothing  of  the  =aii< 
about  ine.  They  looked  upon  mc,  and  knewia 
not,  and  1  was  exceedingly  content,  I  was  in  0 
humour  to  satisfy  idle  inquiry — I  wislied  for  d 
companion  but  my  own  thoughts,  no  adviser  ba 
my  own  impetuous  feelings. 

We  passed  through  the  village,  I  Vtrepag  a 
obstinately  my  forced  delusion  that  I  was  aboi 
to  be  soon  in  the  presence  of  one  who  could  soh 
the  mystery  that  was  crushing  my  young  ene* 
gies,  and  fast  destroying  all  that  was  good  and 
healthy  in  my  mind.  I  planned  how  I  should 
act,  what  I  should  say;  and  I  even  b^an  to 
revel  in  the  thoughts  of  the  maternal  endear- 
ments she  would  bestow  upon  me.  But,  the 
thunder-cloud  of  misery  broke  upon  me  Suddenly, 
and  enveloped  me  at  once  in  it«  despairing  black- 
ness. We  had  almost  attuned  to  the  end  of  the 
hamlet,  when  my  sad  guide  gently  plucked  me 
by  the  arm  to  turn  down  to  the  right. 

"  No,"  said  I,  tremulouEly,  "  that  is  not  the 
way ;  we  must  go  forward.  That  lane  leads  to 
the  churchyard." 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  215 

«  And  to  Mrs.  Cherfeuil." 

*^  Go  on,  and  regard  me  not." 

In  another  minute  we  were  both  sitting  on  a 
newly-made  grave,  the  little  girl  weeping  in  the 
innocent  excess  of  tliat  sorrow  that  brings  so 
.  soon  its  own  sweet  relief. 

My  at  first  low  and  almost  inaudible  murmurs 
gradually  grew  m^re  loud  and  more  impassioned. 
At  last  they  aroused  the  attention  of  my  weeping 
companion^  and  she  said  to  me  artlessly,  ^^  It  is 
of  no  use  taking  on  in  this  way,  sir ;  she  can 
never  speak  up  from  the  grave.  She  is  in 
heaven  now ;  and  God  does  not  permit  any  of 
His  blessed  saints  to  speak  to  us  sinners  below." 

"  You  are  quite  right,  my  good  girl,"  said  I, 
ashamed  of  this  betrayal  of  my  emotion.  ^^  It  is 
very  fo6lish  indeed  to  be  talking  to  tlio  dead 
over  their  damp  graves,  and  not  at  all  proper. 
But,  I  have  a  great  fancy  to  stay  here  a  little 
while  by  myself.  Pray  go  and  wait  for  me  at 
the  end  of  the  lane.  I  will  not  keep  you  long, 
and  I  have  something  to  say  to  you." 

"  I  will  do  as  you  tell  me,  sir,  most  certainly. 
I  will  tell  you  all  about  her  deatli,  for  I  was  a 


216  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

port  of  help  to  the  nurse.  I  know  you  now,  ar, 
and  thought  I  knew  you  from  the  first.  May 
the  God  that  my  good  friend  first  taught  me  to 
revere  make  this  stroke  light  to  you  1" 

I  shall  not  repeat  the  extravagances  that  I 
uttered  when  alone.  I  was  angry  with  myself 
and  with  all  the  world ;  and  I  fear  that  I  ex- 
asperated myself  with  tlie  thought  thc^t  I  did  not 
sufficiently  feel  the  grief  with  which  I  strove  to 
consecrate  my  loss.  I  remember,  I  concluded 
my  rhapsody  thus  : 

**  Again  I  call  upon  you  by  the  sacred  name  of 
mother — for  such  you  were  —  and  no  other  will 
my  heart  ever  acknowledge.  1  adjure  you  to 
hear  me  swear  that  I  will  have  all  the  justice 
done  to  your  memory  that  man  can  do;  and 
may  we  never  meet  in  those  realms  where  only 
the  injured  find  redress,  if  I  fail  to  scatter  this 
sacred  earth  in  token  of  dishonour  upon  the  head 
of  liim  who  has  dishonoured  you — were  he  even 
my  own  father  !  It  is  an  oath.  May  it  be  re- 
corded, should  that  record  be  used  as  ray  sentence 
of  death!'* 
Having  made  this  harsh  and  impious  vow,  the 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  217 

effect  of  over-excitement,  I  tore  a  considerable 
portion  of  the  earth  from  the  grave,  and,  folding 
it  in  my  handkerchief,  I  knotted  it  securely,  and 
placed  it  round  my  heart  next  to  my  skin,  like 
those  belts  that  are  worn  by  Roman  Catholics  as 
instruments  of  penance. 

Now,  in  my  maturer  years,  I  see  the  folly  and 
am  ashamed  of  my  extravagance ;  but,  at  the 
time,  I  actually  thought  it  a  virtue.  I  had  no 
friendly  counsellor  near  me — none  who  could  ac- 
quaint me  that,  in  this  rash  oath,  I  was  binding 
myself  to  violate  the  laws  of  man,  whilst  I  was 
outraging  the  ordinance  of  the  Deity.  Notwith- 
standing all  this  folly,  my  love,  my  grief,  and 
my  anger,  were  all  sincere.  I  had  even  a  strong 
superstitious  feeling  about  me,  that,  whilst  I  was 
girded  by  this  sacred  dust,  I  should  bear  a 
charmed  life.  Such  are  the  wildness  and  folly  of 
an  ill-regulated  imagination. 

With  a  wish  for  something  very  like  the  shed- 
ding of  blood  in  my  hw.rt,  and  with  a  fervent 
prayer  in  my  imagination  and  on  my  lips,  I  left 
Mrs.  Cherfeuil's  humble  grave,  and  joined  my 
companion^ 

VOL.  III.  L 


CHAPTB 

Ralph  meets  nith  old  friendt^ 

has  his  grng  slopped,  whil 
sant  distiifisioL),  to  wliich  hi 
has  a  sometliiag  to  thank  r 

I  SHALL  here  be  vei 
live.  I  wish  to  hurrj'  oi 
points  of  my  biogmphj 
even  felt  then,  tliat  thei 
culous,  as  well  as  excruc 
pected  that  I  was  not  i 
I  was  endeavouring  to  r 
upon  the  character  of  a  t 
mnst  I  confess  it? — in 
found  my  belt  of  vengeaii 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  219 

venient,  that  I  heartily  wished  I  was  well  rid  of 
it :  it  is  a  miserable  confession,  a  sad  falling  off 
in  my  heroics  ;  but  the  oath  that  I  had  volun- 
tarily and  so  solemnly  taken  prevented  me 
from  ridding  myself  of  the  disgusting  incum- 
brance. 

Although  my  history  has  been  most  romantic, 
I  was  never  formed  for  the  hero  of  a  romance. 
Pushed  aside  as  I  have  been  from  the  well- 
trodden  paths  of  common-place  life,  I  have  been 
always  most  eager  to  regain  them.  I  am  capable 
of  great  exertions  upon  great  emergencies ;  but 
I  detest  a  repetition  of  them  ;  I  abhor  trouble  ; 
and  have  a  very  horror  of  any  thing  approaching 
to  bodily  pain.  Why  did  I  then  subject  myself 
to  such  an  annoyance  ?  Because  I  was  a  fool, 
and  a  watchful  Providence  was  so  gracious  as  to 
work  out  safety  for  me  from  my  very  folly. 

//  faat  manger.  In  a  young  and  healthy 
subject,  the  more  vigorous  the  sorrow,  alas !  it 
too  often  happens  the  more  unconquerable  the 
appetite.  Full  as  I  was  of  high  resolve  of  ven- 
geance, and  of  a  just  indignation  against  oppres- 
sion,  it  was  upon  an  empty  stomach.    The  mor- 

l2 


aaO  BATTI  IN,  THK  HEEHttt. 

ijfications  of  the  mincl  I  t;ould  endure ;  those  t| 
the  body  I  could  iie\'er  long  sustaia.  ContritioC 
tlie  most  sincere  and  the  most  intense,  woul 
never  have  induced  me  to  become  a  monk  of  I 
Trappe.  So,  with  a  bursting  heart,  the  litdi 
girl  by  my  aide,  and  a  keen  idea  of  the  e 
of  digestion,  1  entered  the  first  iim,  aad  ordere 
an  ample  provision  of  beef-st*aks.  These  * 
grovelling  aspirations  most  certainly,  but,  ' 
shall  say  that  they  were  not  natural  ? 

tteally,  just  at  that  time,  I  had  so  little  t 
for  any  thing  hut  my  approaching  repast,  tliat 
I  missed  the  opportunity  of  offset  that  might 
have  been  produced,  by  tlie  bereaved  Son  weeping 
in  unison  with  the  child  who  liad  lost  lier  friend: 
it  would  have  been  pretty  and  pathetic  —  but  I 
was  too  hungry,  bo  I  only  gave  her  a  shilling  a> 
an  earnest  of  ray  future  bounty,  and  told  her  to 
call  again  in  a  couple  of  hours,  in  order  that  she 
might  unfold  all  that  she  knew  of  a  subject  go 
deeply  interesting  to  myself. 

I  sijrrowed  and  I  dined  heartily.  'Hie  giri 
came,  and  I  prepared  to  return  to  town.  Let  il 
not  be  supposed,    notwithstanding  my  sins  vi 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.         221 

appetite,  that  I  did  not  feel  acutely  when  I 
heard  her  simple  relation.  It  appeared  that  all 
was  smiles,  and  happiness,  and  sunshine,  around 
Mrs.  Cherfeuil ;  when  a  person  made  his  appear- 
ance, by  the  description  of  whom  I  at  once  re-  - 
cognized  that  fiend,  Daunton.  All  domestic 
happiness  then  ceased  for  the  poor  lady ;  rumours 
of  the  worst  nature  got  abroad ;  her  little  French 
husband,  instead  of  being,  as  for  twelve  years  be- 
fore he  had  been,  her  shadow,  her  slave,  and  her 
admirer,  became  outrageous  and  cruel,  and 
after  the  horrid  word  bigamy  had  been  launched 
against  her,  she  never  after  held  up  her  head. 

She  sickened  and  died.  Nor  did  Daunton 
succeed  in  his  plans  of  extorting  money — ^but  his 
scheme ,  was  infinitely  more  deep  and  more 
hellish.  He  had,  but  not  till  after  her  deaths 
declared  himself  to  be  her  son.  This,  instead  of 
having  any  effect  upon  the  outraged  widower, 
only  made  him  more  eager  to  drive  the  imposter 
from  his  presence  \  and,  the  opportunity  offering 
itself  to  leave  the  spot  now  so  hateful  to  him,  and 
the  country  that  had  sheltered  him,  and  in  which 
he  had  grown  so  rich,  for  ever,  he  availed  himself 


2'i2  RATTLIV,  Trt 

of  it  eagerly.  This  aecotn 
implacable  feelings  sgaii 
my  hate  was  beyond  thar 
!  detested  him  with  all' 
strengtii,  and  all  my  ad 
powerful  to  this  was  to  d 
his ;  for  now  I  felt  assurBJ 
that  they  were  intimately 
Those  who  look  upq| 
tissue  of  well  or  ill-devtai| 
Were  it  so,  characters  wo 
unimportant  speeches,  an 
portant  acts,  and  then  di 
for  ever.  The  writer  yn 
materials;  so  multiply  his 
have  brought  only  those 
of  the  public  who  would  ai 
the  development  of  the  v 
all  concentrated  on  the  bi 
Poetical  justice,  the  onl 
perfection  at  present,  woi 
ties,  and  the  curtain  droi 
hero  marriwl  to  the  const 
roinc,  and  nothing  to  be  ii 


RATTLIN,  THE  KEEPER.  223 

but  a  long  period  of  mundane  happiness.  But, 
as  this  is  nothing  less  or  more  than  an  actual 
biography,  in  which  nought  is  changed  but 
names,  and  nothing  falsified  excepting  a  few  lo- 
calities, the  reader  must  expect  nothing  of  the 
concordance,  and  the  satisfactory  results,  of  Ro- 
mance— ^no  sustained  course  of  grand  action,  but 
all  the  vicissitudes  of  every-day  life,  in  which  the 
lofty  is  continually  tripped  up  by  the  ridiculous, 
and  the  marvellous  may  seem  exaggerated,  merely 
because  it  is  strictly  true. 

It  is  your  actual  facts  that  puzzle  your  critics 
with  the  idea  of  the  impossible.  How  absiutl, 
they  will  say,  to  suppose  that  a  mere  youth  could, 
in  these  matter-of-£Bu;t  days,  go  and  utter  impre- 
cations over  the  grave  of  his  supposed  mother, 
belt  roimd  his  body  a  portion  of  the  cold  earth 
of  her  grave,  and  the  mad  act  be  afterwards  the 
means  of  preserving  his  life,  when  it  ought  to 
have  killed  him  by  an  attack  of  pleurisy  —  they 
would  repeat,  it  is,  altogether,  out  of  the  course  of 
nature,  and  utterly  impossible :  to  all  which  I  have 
only  calmly  to  reply  that  it  is  positively  true,  and 
it  is  related  because  it  is  as  strange  as  true. 


224  MLATTIAS,  THE  REEFER. 

After  hearing  all  that  the  little  wench  had  to 
discover,  and  rewarding  her,  I  proceeded  alone  to 
wander  over  the  spots  that  were  once  so  dear  to 
me.     In  this  melancholy  occupation^  when  the 
cold  mists  of  the  early  evening  fell,  I  continued 
heaping  regret  upon  regret,  imtil  a  more  miser- 
able being,  short  of  being  impelled  to  suicide, 
could  not  have  trod  the  earth.     About  five,  it 
began  to  grow  dark  j  and,  weary  both  in  mind 
and  body,  I  commenced  climbing  the  long  hill 
that  was  the  boundary  of  the  common^  on  my 
return  to  London. 

On  the  Surrey  side  of  the  hill,  for  its  apex 
separated  it  from  another  county,  the  descent 
was  more  precipitous — so  much  so,  that  it  is  now 
wholly  disused  as  a  road  for  carriages ;  and  not 
only  was  it  precipitous,  but  excessively  contorted, 
the  bends  sometimes  running  at  right  angles  with 
each  other.  High  banks,  clothed  with  impervious 
hedges,  and  shadowed  by  tall  trees,  made  the 
road  both  dank  and  dark ;  and,  at  the  time  that 
I  was  passing,  or,  rather,  turning  roimd  one  of 
the  elbows  of  this  descent,  a  sturdy  fellow,  with 
a  heavy  cudgel,  followed  at  some  distance  by  a 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  225 

much  smaller  man,  accosted  me  in  a  rude  tone 
of  voice,  by  bawling  out — 

"  I  say,  you  sir,  what's  o'clock  ?" 

"  Go  about  your  business,  and  let  me  pass." 

"  Take  that  for  your  civility  !" — and,  with  a 
severe  blow  with  his  stick,  he  laid  me  prostrate. 
I  was  not  stunned,  but  felt  very  sick,  and  alto- 
gether incapable  of  rising.  In  this  state,  I  de- 
termined to  feign  stupefaction,  so  1  nearly  closed 
my  eyes,  and  lay  perfectly  still.  The  huge  va- 
gabond then  placed  his  knee  upon  my  chest,  and 
called  out  to  his  companion  — 

"  I  say.  Mister,  come  and  see  if  this  here 
chap's  the  right  im." 

The  person  called  to  came  up ;  and,  immedi- 
ately after,  through  my  eyelashes,  I  beheld  the 
disabolical  white  face  of  Daunton.  It  was  so  dark, 
that,  to  recognize  me,  he  was  obliged  to  place  his 
countenance  so  close  to  mine  that  liis  hot  breath 
burned  against  my  cheek.  He  was  in  a  passion 
of  terror,  and  trembled  as  if  in  an  access  of  ague. 

"  It  is,"  said  he,  whilst  his  teeth  chattered. 
"  Is  he  stimned  ?" 

"  Mister,  now  I  take  that  as  an  insult.     D  ye 

•1-5 


ri 


think  that  John  Gowles  i 
of  a  tiring  as  that  ere  M 

"  Hush  ! — how  very, .% 
is  your  knife  }      Will  yOt 

"Moet  aartaini^  not^ 
mercy — I  never  cotmnittt 
must  think  of  my  preell 
a  bargain — my  part  oa^ 

"Gowles,  don't  talk  iQ 
sight  of  blood — and,  oh  ( 
it  would  spirt  upon  my  h 
crver  the  Iieai.1 — lie  breallie 

"  No,"  said  tlie  confed 
ye — u'U  have  neither  arl 
murder." 

Dming  this  very  intere 
rallying  all  my  energies  f 
intending,  however,  to  wai 
to  grasp  it,  in  order  that  I 
against  the  breast  of  one 
it  as  a  defence  against  th< 

"Would  to  God,"  sai 
blasphemy  to  concerted  av 


that  my  hand  v 


spared 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  227 

the  knife  now.     Where  shall  I  strike  him  ?-*-! 
have  no  strength  to  drive  it  into  him  fiur.*' 

*'  Tell  ye,  Mister,  u'U  have  nought  to  do  with 
the  murder — but  u'd  advise  thee  to  bare  his 
neck,  and  thrust  in  the  point  just  under  his  right 
ear." 

«  Hush !     Will  it  bleed  much  ? ' ' 

"  Damnably !" 

"Horrible! — horrible!  Do  you  think  the 
story  about  Cain  and  Abel  is  true  ?" 

"  As  God  is  in  heaven  !" 

"Then,  my  brother's  blood  will  turn  every 
thing  to  scarlet  as  long  as  I  live.  Can*t  it  be 
done  without  blood?" 

**  ril  have  nothing  to  do  with  the  murder. 
But,  Mister,  if  so  be  as  you  are  so  craven-hearted, 
take  your  small  popper,  and  send  a  ball  right 
into  his  heart.  It  is  a  gentleman's  death,  and 
will  make  the  prettiest  small  hole  imaginable,  and 
bleed  none  to  signify.  But,  mind  ye,  this  ere 
miurder's  all  your  own." 

At  this  critical  moment,  as  I  was  inhaling  a 
strong  breath,  in  order  to  invigorate  my  frame  for 
instant  exertion,  I  heard  two  or  three  voices  in 


the  distaiici;  coroUing  oW 

chorus*-  ^ 

"  Many  droll  mf^ 

But  I  wish  the  ■ 

"  Now  or  never,"  sai^ 
cocking  liis  piEtoI.  I  ]^ 
an  instant,  and,  seizing^ 
a  small  tool,  manufae^ 
potket,  by  the  barrel  4 
this  amiable  specimen  Q^ 
the  struggle  of  an  instal 
of  the  pistal  was  close  i 
my  adversary  disfliargw 
hard  knock  of  the  ball  1 
percussion,  for  the  momei 
but  my  hold  upon  the  vi 
laxed.  'Hie  gurgling 
audible  to  liis  brutal  con 

"  Ods  sneckens  !"  sai( 
ere  murdered  man  is  thr 
death- tliroe." 

Down  at  once  came 
upon  my  arm.  I  releaf 
fell  to  the  earth. 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  229 

"  He's  a  dead  man,"  said  Gowles  ;  "  run  for 
your  life !  Mind,  Mister,  I  had  neither'art  nor 
part  in  this  ere—" 

And  they  were  ahnost  immediately  out  of 
sight  and  out  of  hearing. 

At  the  report  of  the  pistol,  the  jolly  choristers 
struck  up  prestissimo  with  their  feet.  They 
were  standing  round  me  just  as  the  retreating 
feet  of  my  assassins  had  ceased  to  resound  in  the 
stillness  of  the  darkness. 

"  A  voice,"  which  I  inmiediately  knew  to  be 
that  of  my  old  adversary,  the  master's  mate, 
Pigtop,  accosted  me. 

'*  Holloa,  shipmate  !  —  fallen  foul  of  a  pirate, 
mayhap  —  haven't  slipped  your  wind,  ha'  ye, 
messmate?" 

"  No ;  but  I  believe  my  arm's  broken,  and 
I  have  a  pistol-ball  between  my  ribs." 

"  Which  way  did  the  lubbers  sheer  off?  Shall 
we  clap  on  sail,  and  give  chase  ?" 

"  It  is  of  no  use.  I  know  one  of  them  well. 
They  shall  not  escape  me." 

**  Why,  I  know  tliat  voice.  Yes — no— damn 
me  —  It  must  be  Ralph  Rattlin  —  it  bean't,  sure 


230  RATTLIX*  THE  REEFER. 

* 

— and  here  on  his  beam-ends,  a  shot  in  his 
hull,  and  one  of  his  spars  shattered.  Fd  sooner 
have  had  my  grog  watered  all  my  life  than  this 
^ould  have  fallen  out.'' 

*^  You  have  not  had  your  grog  watered  this 
evening,  Pigtop,'*  said  I  rising,  assisted  by  him- 
self and  his  comrades.  **  I  don't  feel  much  hurt, 
after  all." 

'^  True,  true,  shipmate.  But  we  must  cli^  a 
stopper  over  all.  Small  shot  in  the  chest  are  bad 
messmates.  We  must  make  a  tourniquet  of  my 
skysail  here." 

So,  without  heeding  my  cries  of  pain,  he  passed 

his  handkerchief  round  uiy  breast ;  and,  by  the 

means  of  twisting  his  walking-stick  in  the  knot, 

he  hove  it  so  tight,  that  he  not  only  stopped  all 

effusion  of  blood,  but  almost  all  my  efforts  at 

breathing.  My  left  hand  still  held  the  discharged 

pistol,  which  I  gave  into  the  custody  of  Pigtop. 

Upon  farther  examination,  I  found  that  there 

was  no  fracture  of  the  bone  of  my  arm ;  and  that, 

all  things  considered,  I  could  walk  tolerably  well. 

However,  I  still  felt  a  violent  pain  in  my  chest, 

attended  with  difficulty  of  breathing,  at  the  least 
accelerated  pace. 


I 


RATTLIN,  THE  AEEFER.  231 


CHAPITER  XVin. 

Ralph  appears  before  a  magistrate,  and  proves  to  be 
more  frightened  than  hurt,  though  frightened  as  little 
as  a  veritable  hero  should  be  —  A  great  deal  of  fuss 
about  a  little  dust,  not  kicked  up,  but  finally  laid  down. 

Wfi  got  on,  nevertheless,  Pigtop  shaking  his 
head  very  dolefully,  whenever  I  paxised  to  re- 
cover breath. 

We  entered  the  Arst  house  that  we  came  to  5 
that  of  an  agricultural  labourer.  We  told  our 
adventure,  and  the  good  man  immediately  pro- 
ceeded to  acquaint  the  patrole  and  the  constable. 
I  was  anxious  to  examine  the  nature  of  my 
woimd,  to  which  my  old  messmate  would  not 
listen  for  a  moment.  He  was  particularly  sorry 
that  he  saw  no  blood,  from  which  symptom  he 


232  .  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

argued  the  worst  —  looking  upon  me  as  a 
dead  man,  being  certain  that  I  was  bleeding 
inwardly. 

I  decided  for  a  post-chaise,  that  I  might 
hasten  to  town  and  make  my  depositions ;  for  I 
was  determined  to  let  loose  the  hoimds  of  the 
law  after  my  dastardly  enemies,  without  the  loss 
of  a  moment.  The  chaise  was  soon  procured ; 
and,  much  to  the  satis&ction  of  Pigtop,  we  drove 
directly  to  Bow  Street  —  the  good  fellow  hav- 
ing a  finri  persuasion  that  the  moment  his 
make-shift  tourniquet  was  withdrawn,  I  should 
breathe  my  last.  I  had  no  such  direful  appre- 
hensions. 

When  we  arrived  at  the  office,  the  worthy 
magistrate  was  on  the  point  of  retiring.  The 
clatter  of  the  chaise  driving  rapidly  up  to  the 
door,  and  the  exaggerated  report  of  the  post- 
boy, heralded  us  in  with  some  ecldi.  The 
magistrate,  when  he  had  heard  that  it  was  a  case 
of  murder,  very  well  disguised  his  regret  at  the 
postponement  of  his  dinner. 

Mr.    Pigtop    insisted   upon   supporting   me, 
although   I   could  walk   very   well  —  quite  as 


RATTUN,  THE  REEFER*  233 

well  as  himself,  considering  his  potations  :  and 
insisted  also  upon  speaking,  although,  without 
self-flattery,  I  could  speak  much  better  than 
himself.  He  was  one  of  the  old  school  of  sea- 
men, and  could  not  talk  out  of  his  profession. 
Accordingly,  he  was  first  sworn.  We  will  give 
the  conmiencement  of  his  deposition  verbatim, 
as  he  is  one  of  a  class  that  is  fast  disappearing 
from  the  face  of  the  waters. 

"  If  you  please,  your  worship,  I  anfl  my  two 
consorts  that  are  lying-to  in  my  wake,  after 
having  taken  in  our  wood  and  water  at  Wool- 
wich, we  braced  up  sharp,  boimd  for  London." 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  yovu"  wood  and 
water  ?"  said  the  magistrate. 

"  Ovu"  bub  and  grub  —  here's  a  magistrate 
for  you!  (aside  tome).  Your  worship  down 
to  our  bearings.  So,  as  Bill  here  said,  as 
how  we  were  working  Tom  Coxe's  traverse — 
your  worship  knows  what  that  means,  well 
enough." 

"  Indeed,  sir,  I  don't.'* 

"  It's  the  course  the  lawyers  will  take  when 
they  make  scdl  for  heaven.     I  can  see,  in  the 


234  RATTUN,  * 

twinkling  of  a  purser's  ^ 
no  lawyer."  i 

"  This,  sir,  is  the  fia 
had  the  impertinence  Iq 

"  Well,  well,  no  ofl| 
ship  } — there  is  no  ac9< 
monkey  said  when  be  n 
tar  barrel ;  and  then  lj 
barked  into  a  very  ir^ 
land-Gharlts.Themagi^ 
and  sensible,  and  at  lefl 
(lifficiiltj  arising  from  h 
sea,  and  Pigtop  never  h 

His  deposition,  havi 
the  vulgar  tongue,  out  ol 
duly  sworn  to  ;  yet  aot 
when  the  magistrate  he 
that  I  had  the  pistol-bal 
body  —  he  wishing  mi 
surgeon  immediately, 
to  thiE,  lest  1  should  d 
gave  the  magistrate  ran 
him  1  had  good  reason 
had  not  penetrated  deep 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  235 

I  was  the  last  examined ;  and  I  almost  electri- 
fied Rgtop  when  I  deposed  that  I  knew  well 
the  person  of  my  murderous  assaulter,  and  that 
it  was  Joshua  Daunton. 

At  this  announcement,  my  quondam  mess- 
mate slapped  his  hand  upon  his  "knee  with 
a  violence  that  echoed  through  the  court  — 
grinned  —  then  looked  profoimdly  serious  ;  but 
made  me  very  thankful  by  holding  his  peace, 
and  shaking  his  head  most  awfully.  When  I 
proceeded  to  give  a  very  accurate  description  of 
this  wretch's  person,  looks  of  understanding 
passed  between  three  or  four  of  the  principal 
runners,  who  were  attentively  listening  to  the 
proceedings.  When  this  business  was  concluded, 
the  magistrate  said  to  me,  ^'  The  young  man 
who  has  committed  this  outrage  upon  your  per- 
son,  we  have  strong  reason  to  beUeve,  is  ame- 
nable to  the  laws  for  other  crimes.  He  has 
eluded  our  most  active  officers ;  and,  it  was  sup-^ 
posed,  that  he  had  left  the  kingdom.  It  appears 
now  that  he  has  returned.  You  have  had  a 
most  providential  escape.  This  pistol  will  give 
us  a  good  clue.      There  is  no  doubt  but  that 


236  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

shortly  we  shall  be  able  to  give  a  good  account 
of  him.     Let  me  now  advise  you,  Mr.  Ratdin, 
to  have  your  hurt  examined.     Come  into  m; 
private   room;  a  surgeon  will  be   here  in  an 
instant." 

Pigtop  and  I  were  then  ushered  into  a  room 
on  one  side  of  the  office.     I  looked  extremely 
foolish  — almost,  in  fact,  as  confused  as  if  I  had 
been   charged  with  an  offence.      The  surgeon 
soon  made  his  appearance ;   but,  in  the  sboti 
interval,  the  magistrate  had  begun  to  thrust  home 
with  his  questions  as  to  who  I  was,  what  where 
wy  intentions,  and    the    probable    motives  of 
Daimton's  attempt  on  my  life.    All  these  I  par- 
ried as  well  as  I  could,  without  letting  him  know 
any  thing  of  the  supposed  consanguinity  between 
myself  and  the  culprit  —  his  motive  I  ^counted 
for,  as  revenge  for  some  real  or  imaginary  insult 
inflicted   by   me   when  we  were  on  board  the 
Eos. 

Upon  my  persisting  to  refuse,  for  some  time, 
to  strip,  that  the  woimd  might  be  examined,  the 
magistrate  began  to  look  grave,  and  the  surgeon 
hinted  that  it  was,  perhaps,  as  well  not  to  seek 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  237 

for  what  was  not  to  be  found.  The  dread  of  being 
looked  upon  as  an  impostor  overcame  my  shame 
at  the  expos6  of  my  romantic  weakness.  Poor 
Pigtop  had  alarms  upon  totally  other  grounds. 
He  watched  with  painful  anxiety  the  unwinding 
of  his  tourniquet,  ready  to  receive  me  dying 
into  his  arms.  His  surprise  was  greater,  I  fecur 
me,  than  his  joy,  when  he  discovered  no  signs 
of  bleeding  when  his  handkerchief  was  removed. 

"  What,  in  the  name  of  pharmacy,  is  this  ?  " 
said  the  surgeon,  detaching  my  belt  of  earth ; 
**  but  here  is  the  ball,  however, — it  has  more 
than  broken  the  skin  ;  and  there  has  been  a  good 
deal  of  blood  extravasated,  but  it  has  been  ab- 
sorbed by  the  mould  in  this  handkerchief.  By 
whatever  means  this  singular  bandage  was 
placed  yhere  I  foimd  it,  you  may  depend 
upon  it,  young  gentleman,  that  it  has  saved 
your  life." 

"  I  presume,  Mr.  Rattlin,  that  you  are 
a  Catholic  ? "  said  the  magistrate,  ^^  and  that 
you  have  been  a  very  naughty  boy — ^if  so,  the 
penance  that  your  confessor  has  fenjoined  you 
has  been  miraculously  providential,  and  I  shall 


238 


RATTUNjj 


Uiink    better    of  p^il 
life."  I 

'I  lie  lie  so  tempting 
I  was  about  to  make) 
fleeted  from  whence  I) 
earth,  I  dared  not  p 
So,  witti  a  faltering  j^ 
with  tears,  1  thus  ad(^ 

"  Do  not  laugh  at  ii)| 
1  will  tell  you  tlie  exaii 
niantic  boy,  that  am  td 
bj  sudiien  emotions,  an 
I  returned,  sir,  after  h 
a  home  which  I  left  a 
had  also  left"  a  dear, 
beautj',  in  happiness, 
asked  for  my  liorae,  th 
of  a  stranger — for  mj 
me  to  a  newly-made  g 
siasm,  I  gathered  up 
body  and  bound  it  rou 
and  may  God  pardon  m 
in  my  head,  *  But  1  am 
act,  for,  methinks,  the  ho 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  239 

forth  her  hand  from  the  grave^  and  placed  it 
before  the  heart  of  her  son  that  she  so  loved 
when  living;' 

^  I  think  so  too^"  said  the  magistrate^  much 
moved.  **  But,  my  yoimg  friend,  these  super- 
stitious fancies  and  acts  are  best  omitted*  I 
am  sure  that  you  do  not  need  this  earth  to  re- 
member your  mother.  Besides,  it  must  be  pre- 
judicial to  your  health  to  carry  it  about  your 
person,  to  say  nothing  of  the  singularity  of  the 
deed — take  my  advice,  and  convey  it  carefully 
to  the  nearest  consecrated  ground,  and  there 
reverently  deposit  it.  We  will  preserve  this  ball 
with  th«  pistol,  and  now  let  Mr.  Ankins  dress 
your  slight  wound.  We  must  'see  you  well 
through  this  affair,  and  the  Admiralty  must 
prolong jrour  leave  of  absence,  if  it  be  necessary. 
I  should  wish  to  know  more  of  you  as  a  private 
individual — ^there  is  my  card.  You  are  a  very 
good  lad  for  honouring  your  mother.  Fare  ye 
well." 

With  many  compliments  from  the  surgeon 
also,  and  a  roller  or  two  of  cottbn  round  my 
chest,  we  mutually  took  leave  of  each  other — 


240 


RATT1.1N,  « 


the  gentleman,  very  col 
guinea  that  I  tendered  ! 
Having  discharged  t^ 
top,  his  two  companioM 
oRice,  I  bearing  in  m^ 
nearly  filled  with  moiiU 
it  —  saturated  as  it  i( 
owing  as  I  did  my  lift 
^d  gentle  lady,  you  Hi 
in  a  costly  vase,  over  \ 
had  it  made  up  by  some  I 
in  a  silken  belt,  and  stil 
ur,  at  least,  that  I  plac 
vase,  and  planted  a  roi 
watered  daily  by  my 
lovers  of  the  romantic, 
told  you  before,  all  my  i 
matter-of-fact  affairs. 
as  the  magistrate  bade  i 
Paul's,  Coven t  Garden,  I 
yard  ;  and  with  a  silent 
and  asking  pardon*  of  { 
of  which  I  had  been  g 
whole  of  tlie  dust,  with 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 


241 


spot,  and  then  returned  and  joined  my  oom- 
panions. 

Taking  leave  of  them  shortly  after,  I  repaired 
to  the  White  Horse,  in  Fetter  Lane ;  and,  eating 
a  light  supper,  retired  to  bed  early,  and  thus 
finished  this  very  memorable  day. 


VOL.  Ill, 


M 


£ 

242                    RaTTLIN,  T\ 

i 

i 

< 

CHAFF 

Raipli  bf^ius  to  form  hia  i 

•    travelling  tutor — travd^ 

word  —  Prepares  for  a  jc 

at   the   door   of  an   old 

GnHily,  gains  his  eada  by  b 

means  something  very  lik 

On  the  day  succeed! 

much  swollen  and  mya 

.  1 

i  kept  my  bed.      Mr. 

' 

very  friendly  in  liis  bel 

have  something  -weighii 

either  from  innate  mod 

ficiency  of  elocution,  hi 

the  pressure  by  words. 

/ 

in  want  of  money,  and  c 
was  deceived.     He  wish 

RATTLIN,  THE  REXFER.  S43 

and  no  less  a  one  than  of  himself.  I  need  not  men- 
tion that  the  same  surgeon  attended  me.  I  took 
this  opportunity  of  furnishing  myself  with  a  few 
necessaries  and  a  carpet-bag.  I  employed  the 
chambermaid  on  this  momentous  occasion.  She 
was  very  moderate.  She  made  only  cent  per 
cent  profit  on  the  purchases,  which  was  paying 
remarkably  cheaply  for  respectability,  in  her 
eyes,  and  those  of  tHe  waiters  ^  for  I  was  now  no 
longer  the  gentleman  without  any  luggage. 

On  the  third  day  of  my  confinement  to  the 
house,  sitting  alone  in  the  deserted  coffee-room, 
chewing  the  cud  of  my  bitter  fiemcies,  Mr.  Pig- 
top  made  his  appearance.    Though  I  knew  the 
man  to  be  thoroughly  selfish,  1  believed  him  to 
hsfiie  that  dogged  sort  of  honesty  not  imcommon 
to  very  vulgar  minds.   As,  just  then,  any  society 
was  welcome,  I  received  his  condolements  very 
graciously,  and  requested  his  company  to  din- 
ner.    My  invitation  was  gladly  accepted;  and 
he  occupied  the  time  previously  to  that  repast  in 
giving  me  a  history  of  his  life.     It  was  a  very 
ccxnmon  one.     He  was  the  son  of  a  warrant- 
officer.    He  was  all  but  bom  on  board  a  man- 

m2 


244  RATTLIM.  THE  EEEFEK. 

<tf-war.  At  the  age  of  fifteen,  he  got  his  ratiiig 
as  a  midshipman,  and  thence  rose  to  be  a  mas- 
terVmate.  Hieie  his  promotion  ceased,  and,  to 
all  appearances,  for  ever.  He  had  been  eiieeAj 
twenty-three  years  in  the  service,  and  was  tomed 
forty. 

Never  having  had  any  thing  beyond  his  pay, 
his  life  had  been  one  of  ceaseless  privation  and 
discontent.  He  had  now  nearly  spent  all  his 
money,  and  had  omitted  to  make  thoee  repan- 
tions  in  his  waidiobe,  lendexed  so  necessaiy  bj 
the  malignity  of  Joshua  Daunton.  He  wished 
to  leave  the  service,  and  be  any  thing  rather 
than  what  he  had  been.  He  had  no  relations 
living,  and  positively  no  friends.  His  prospects 
were  most  disconsolate,  and  his  wretchednes 
seemed  very  great.  However,  he  fomid  con- 
siderable relief  in  miburthening  himself  to  nae. 

After  our  frugal  dinner  of  rump-steaks  and 
our  one  bottle  of  port,  he  returned  to  the  subject 
of  the  morning  by  asking  my  advice  as  to  his 
future  conduct. 

^  Nay,  Pigtop/'  I  replied,  ^  you  should  nQ| 
ask  me.     You  are  much  more  capable  of  judging 


RATTLIN,  THE  KEEPER.  245 

for  yourself;  you,  who  have  been  so  much  long^ 
in  the  world  than  1.^ 

**  There  you  are  out  of  your  reckonmg.  I 
have  lived  more  than  twice  your  years,  and  have 
never  been  in  the  world  at  all.  On  shore,  Tm 
like  a  pig  afloat  in  a  washing-tub.  What  would 
you  advise  me  to  do  ?*' 

^^  You  have  no  relations  or  friends  to  assist 
you?" 

The  mournful  shake  of  his  head  was  elo- 
quently negative. 

"  And  yet  you  will  not  resume  that  life  for 
which  alone  you  were  educated?" 

"  I  will  not,  and  I  cannot." 

**  Well,  you  must  either  go  on  the  highway, 
or  marry  a  fortune." 

'^  Lfook  at  this  figure-head — ^look  at  this  scar. 
No — no  one  will  ever  splice  with  such  an  old 
ravelled-out  rope-yam  as  Andrew  Pigtop.  ITie 
road  is  no  longer  a  gentlemanly  profession.  I 
intend  to  be  a  servant." 

'*  You,  Pigtop !  —  begging  your  pardon,  who 
the  devil  would  be  encumbered  with  you  ?" 

^*  You,  I  hope  —  no,  don't  laugh ;  I  know  you 


246  RiWTTLIN,  THE  REBPSE. 

to  be  a  gendeman  bom,  and  that  yoa  have  a 
hundred  a  year.  By  hints  that  I  have  picked 
up,  I  believe,  when  you  come  of  age,  and  Ibat 
all  is  done  right  by  you,  that  youll  have  thou- 
stods.  We  have  one  view  in  common — ^to  hang 
that  rogue,  Daunton.  I  certainly  do  not  widi 
to  put  on  your  livery,  without  you  insist  upon 
it.  Call  me  your  secretary,  or  any  thing  you 
like  —  only  let  me  be  near  you  —  your  servant 
and  your  friend.'' 

I  saw  the  poor  feUow's  eye  glisten,  and  his 
weather-worn  features  quiver.  I  looked  upon 
his  worn  and  shabby  uniform,  and  reflected  upon 
his  long  and  unrequited  services.  Venerate  him 
I  knew  that  I  never  could ;  but  I  already  pitied 
him  exceedingly.  I  resolved,  at  least,  to  assist 
him,  and  to  keep  him  near  me  for  some  time. 

"  Well,  Kgtop,"  I  at  length  said,  "  if  you 
would  be  fiuthful — " 

"  To  the  back- bone — to  the  shedding  of  my 
blood.  Stand  by  me  now  in  my  distress ;  and, 
while  I  have  either  soul  or  body,  I  will  peril 
them  for  your  safety." 

'*  Pigtop,  I  believe  you.     Say  no  more  about 


RATTLIN,  THE  RESPAR.  247 

it.  I  engage  you  as  my  travelling  tutor ;  and  I 
will  pay  you  your  salary  when  I  come  of  age  — * 
that  is,  if  1  am  ahle.  Now,  what  money  have 
you?'' 

''Three  pounds,  fifteen -shillings,  and  seven 
pence  half-penny.  Not  enough  to  take  me  down 
to  the  guard-ship  when  I  have  paid  my  bill  at 
the  tavern." 

''  Then,  my  good  fellow,  go  and  pay  it  imme- 
diately, and  come  back  with  all  possible  speed." 
llie  prompt  obedience  that  he  gave  to  my  first 
order  argued  well  for  his  attention. 

On  his  return,  I  addressed  him  seriously  to 
this  efiect :  ''  My  friend,  you  shall  share  with 
me  to  the  last  shilling ;  but,  believe  me,  my 
position  is  as  dangerous  as  it  is  unnatural.  It 
is  full  of  difficulty,  and  requires  not  only  conduct, 
but  courage,  I  have  a  parent  that  either  dares 
not,  or,  from  some  sinister  motive,  will  not,  own 
me  —  and  I  fear  me  much  that  I  have  a  half- 
brother  that  I  know  is  pursuing  me  with  the 
assassin's  knife,  whilst  I  am  pursuing  him  with 
the  vengeance  of  the  law.  It  is  either  the  death 
of  the  hunted  dog  for  me,  or  of  the  felon's  scaf* 


he  knows  all  Qi 
quity;   and  th 
bosom  even  ami 
man  has  a  stro 
personify  me  aft 
my  Touchers  ao' 
me  appears  abnc 
menta  to  destroy 
that  I  am  tcAenb. 
sure  that  I  am  wt 
and  purchase  tw< 
a  couple  of  stout 
pared  for  the  wo 
here,  and  heieaft 
in  whatever  place 
must  find,  in  son 
tailor — he  must  c 
with  you.     I  mui 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  249 

Pigtop  did  his  commissions  well.  He  returned 
with  the  arms  and  the  tailor.  "  I  hope,"  said 
he,  "you  won't  want  me  to  wear  this  livery 
long  ?" 

"  Not  long,  I  hope.  My  friend,"  said  I,  ad- 
dressing  the  man  of  measures,  ^  this  gentleman, 
lately  in  the  navy,  has  had  recently  a  very  serious 
turn.  He  is  profoim^y  repentant  of  the  wicked- 
ness of  his  past  life— he  has  had  a  call — he  has 
listened  to  it.  It  is  not  unlikely  that  he  may 
shortly  take  out  a  license  to  preach.  Make  him 
a  suit  of  sad- coloured  clothes,  not  cut  out  afler 
the  vanities  of  the  world.  Your  own  would  not 
serve  for  a  bad  model.  You  go  to  meeting,  I 
presume  ?'* 

**  I  have  received  grace — I  eschew  the  steeple 
house — I  receive  the  blessed  crumbs  of  the  word 
that  fall  from  the  lips  of  that  light  of  salvation, 
the  Reverend  Mr.  Obadiah  Longspinner." 

^'  A  holy  and  a  good  man,  doubtless ;  would 
that  we  were  all  like  him  !  But,  our  time  will 
come*- yes,  our  time  will  come.  As  is  the  out- 
ward man  of  the  Reverend  Mr.  Obadiah  Long- 
spinner,  so  would  my  friend  have  his  outward 

M  5 


RATTLrN,  THE  REEPKR. 


K 


man — verily,  and  hie  inward   also— 
unto  sanctity." 

'Hie  devout  tailor  snuffled  out  "  Amen,"  ; 
did  liifl  office.  Whilst  Pigtop's  clothes  wtf 
jireparing,  he  was  not  idle.  He  procured  all  tt| 
requisites  for  travelling,  and  I  sent  him  fl 
a  fruitlesa  mission  to  discover  the  residence  ■ 
the  Brandons.  He  was  told  by  the  netghboiifl 
that,  a  year  bat^'k,  they  had  all  emigrate<]  ta 
Canada.  Every  tiling  eeenied  to  favour  tlri 
machinations  of  my  enemy,  and  to  prevent  n^ 
gaining  any  clue  by  which  to  trace  him  out,  oi 
the  object  of  my  search.  However,  I  had  one 
chance  left— an  interview  with  tlie  superb  Mrs, 
Causand,  that  lady  that  Joshua  had  so  kindlj 
bestowed  upon  me  for  a  mother. 

In  three  days,  behold  us  in  private  lodgings, 
the  Reverend  Mr.  Pigtop  looking  as  sour  at 
any  canting  Methodist  in  Barebones'  parliament, 
and  quite  reconciled  to  the  singularly  starched 
figure  that  he  presented.  There  was  certainly 
a  sad  discrepancy  between  his  dress  and  his  dis- 
course. However,  it  was  a  good  travelling  dis- 
guise, and  very  serviceable  to  a  petty,  oflicei 
breaking  his  leave  of  absence. 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  251 

With  my  health  perfectly  recovered,  dressed 
with  the  greatest  precision,  and,  with  a  beating 
heart,  I  went  to  call  upon  Mrs.  Causand.  On 
her  all  my  hopes  rested.  I  knew  that,  as  a 
schoolboy,  she  was  extremely  £ond  of  me,  and 
I  really  loved  her  as  much  as  I  admired  her. 
As  I  advanced  towards  her  house,  my  heart  beat 
with  strange  emotions. 

I  had  never  before  visited  her,  and  was,  conse- 
quently, totally  ignorant  of  the  style  in  which 
she  lived.  From  the  expense  in  which  she 
habitually  indulged,  and  from  the  costliness  of 
her  dress  when  she  used  to  visit  Mrs.  Cherfeuil, 
at  Stickenham,  I  augured  that  it  must  be  some< 
thing  above  mediocrity.  I]  found  the  house 
which  she  inhabited,  for  I  had  always  carefully 
preserved  her  address,  to  be  one  of  those  which 
fiBUsed  Hyde  Park.  I  was  rather  chilled  as  I 
observed  its  quiet  aristocratic  appearance.  The 
dubious  position  that  I  held  in  society,  and  the 
continual  rebuffs  that  I  apprehended,  made  me, 
at  that  time,  very  nervous  upon  the  point  of  in« 
truding  myself  any  where. 

I  was  obliged  to  recall  to  my  mind  her  white 


BATTUN,  THE  RBKFER. 


't  and  jewelled  hand  running  through  my  liair,  aiA 

'  i  her  prolonged  caresses  when  I  was  a  schoolbojo 

<  I  togivemecourage  to  lift  the  knocker.  I  acquitted 

ill  •  myself,  however,  of  this  task,  creditably  enou^i| 

J  It  was  opened,  not  by  a  porter,  but  by  a  vefj 

I  Einart  footman.  I 

I  "Is  Mrs.  Causand  at  home  J "  said  I,  witi( 

f  I  amiable  meekness.  i 

II  The  man  surveyed  me  leisurely  from  top  ttt 

toe ;    I    even  felt  myself   blushing   under  hif 
j '  scrutiny.     After  lie  had  satisfied  himself  by  hif 

examination,  he  answered  bo  rapidly,  "  No,  sir," 
that  the  two  words  sounded  exactlylike  "Noser." 
As  I  was  turning  away  slowly,  and  overcome 
with  disappointment,  a  smart  carriage  stopped 
with  a  plunge  at  the  doorway,  the  steps  rattled, 
and  wit  sprang  a  dapper,  well-dressed,  middle- 
aged  gentleman.  Taking  three  of  the  stone 
I  steps  at  a  time,  he  was  beside  me  in  the  hall,  the 

1  impudent  lacquey  at  the  same  time  endeavouring 

to  pass  me  on  one  side  with  his  extended  arm,  in 
!  ]  order  to  make  room  for  the  new  comer, 

"  Mrs.  C  ?  "  said  he. 
*'  Front  drawing-room,  sir." 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  258 

And  away  sprang  up  the  visiter  with  almost 
mountebank  activity.  Now,  from  my  youth 
upwards,  I  have  always  been  a  mild  creature — 
very  milk — a  flagon  of  sweet  oil  and  gunpowder, 
the  oil,  of  course,  at  the  top.  But,  the  gun- 
powder wil^  sometimes  ignite,  and  away  goes  all 
the  oil  in  the  face  of  the  imprudent  igniter. 

**  You  lying  scoundrel !  "  said  I,  seizing  the 
fellow  by  his  worsted  lace  collar,  and  shaking 
the  powder  out  of  his  crisped  locks,  "  't  is  not  a 
minute  ago  that  you  told  me  Mrs.  Causand  was 
not  at  home  !  " 

**  Sir,  she  is  only  at  home  to  her  particular 
friends." 

**  Know  this,  sirrah,  that  I  am  her  most  par- 
ticular friend,  and  that  I  have  come  three  thou- 
sand miles  to  see  her." 

My  violence  produced  for  me  much  more 
respect  than  my  civility,  llie  fellow  became 
humble  :  and  told  me  that  if  I  would  walk  into 
the  adjoining  parlour,  and  favour,  him  with  my 
name,  he  would  go  up  immediately  she  was 
alone  and  announce  me.  Being  shown  into  the 
room,  which  I  found  to  be  furnished  with  a  most 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 


refined  taste,  though  evidently  only  used  ^ 
paste,  I  began  very  naturally  to  make  ^e^ 
reflectionsj  neither  very  pleasing  to  myself 
very   honourable   to   the  lady   wlium  I  waq 


anxious  to  see. 


4 


I 


RATTLIN,  THE  RESFIR.  2M 


CHAPTER  XX, 

The  miseries  of  suspense  are  sometimes  pleasingly  pro- 
longed. Ralph,  finding  himself  in  pleasant  places, 
prepareth  a  love-speech,  which  is  not  uttered  in  this 
Chapter — Ralph  describeth  only. 

Man  y  were  the  contending  emotions,  that,  each 
of  them  struggling  for  mastery  in  my  bosom, 
almost  seemed  to  rend  it ;  and,  strange  as  it  may 
be  thouglit,  jealousy  was  one  of  the  most  domi- 
nant. Yet  was  it  not  the  sensual  jealousy  of 
passion,  though  passion  was  undoubtedly  mixed 
up  with  it — ^for,  despite  the  differences  of  age 
between  this  matured  beauty  and  myself,  I  could 
not  prevent  my  memory  rioting  in  contemplation 
of  her  stately  and  perfect  figure,  her  clear  and 


256  BATTLIN.THE  REEFER. 

brilliant  complexion,  and  the  liquid  or  the  a 
ing  Ares  of  her  full  black  eyes,  equally  beautifij 
either  in  anger  or  in  tenderness.  j 

I  was  displeased,  1  was  mortified,  at  the  alacijl 
and  freedom  with  which  I  saw  the  nitddle-a^ 
and  dapper  gentleman  skip  up  the  well-caipetii 
stairs ;  and  I  was  compelled  to  ask  myself  ta 
revolting  question.  Is  this,  tlie  goddess  of  agj 
boyish  idolatry,  a  wanton  ?  ITiis  meeting,  I  f^ 
would  be  a  momentous  one.  On  it  dependa 
every  thing  that  could  interest  or  direct  me — ^t&j 
resolving  the  myst<?ry  of  my  birth.  My  whok 
course  of  life  hung  upon  tlie  conversation  of  tb« 
next  half  hour,  perhaps  upon  the  caprice  of — t 
what  P  —  I  grew  sick  with  apprehension  —  the 
fifteen  minutes  of  my  expectancy  seemed  so  manj 
long  and  sorrow-laden  years. 

My  senses  pretematuially  excited,  I  distinctly 
heard  the  bounding  step  of  the  visiter  who  had 
forestalled  me  spring  from  stair  to  stair ;  tlw 
door  opened^  and  the  plunge  and  the  rattle  ot 
the  wheels  of  the  carriage,  common- place  as  tliey 
were,  seemed  to  me  to  have  something  in  them 
ominous,      llie  servant  opened  the  door,  and 


RATTLIN,  THE  RBBFBR.  257 

entered  the  apartment.    I  trembled  excessively, 
and  must  have  appeared  deadly  pale. 

"  Shall  l^t  you  a  glMs  of  water,  sir?'*  said 
the  footman,  respectfi^ly. 

"  I  thank  you,  no.  Can  I  see  the  lady  ?" 
He  retired  for  about  five  minutes,  then  returned, 
bowed,  and  led  the  way.  He  stepped  up  quietly 
and  slowly.  There  wm  an  awe  in  his  deport- 
ment that  chilled  me.  He  opened  the  door  of 
the  drawing-room  with  extreme  caution  and  gen- 
tleness, bowed,  and  closed  it  upon  me.  As 
I  stood  near  the  threshold,  the  last  low  tones  of 
some  plaintive  and  soothing  melody,  sung  in  a 
tone  much  more  subdued  than  that  of  conmion 
conversation,  died  faintly  away  to  the  vibrating 
of  a  chord  of  the  harp ;  and  a  youthful  figure, 
bathed  in  a  misty  light  from  the  window  recess, 
rose,  and,  moving  silently  across  the  room,  with- 
out once  casting  her  eyes  upon  myself,  dis- 
appeared through  a  door  parallel  to  the  one  by 
which  I  had  entered. 

lovely,  and  her  presence  gave  my  heart  a  sudden 
gush  of  joy — for  it  proved  to  me  that  Mrs.  Cau- 


sand  had  not  been  alone  when  she  bad  rec«JTC 
her  former  visiter — and  I  felt  my  ielidty  dl 
pended  upon  her  character ;  for,  p^itting  e 
ever)'  other  consideration,  had  not  Daunton  ti 
me  that  she  was  my  mother?  I  believed  it  not 
but  the  mere  doubt  of  it  was  dreadful. 

Whilst  1  remain  in  the  darker  portioB  of  t 
saloon,  it  is  necessar}'  for  me  to  describe  it. 
could  not  have  imagined  such  a  combinatioa  i 
taste  and  luxurj'.  At  fir^t,  I  was  almost  owl 
powered  by  the  too  genial  warmth  of  tJie  apail 
ment,  and  the  aromatic  and  rose-imbued  odour 
that  filled  it.  I  trod  on,  and  my  step  sank  into 
a  yielding  carpet,  that  seemed  to  be  elastic  unde 
my  feet,  and  which  glowed  with  a  thousan 
never-fading  though  mimic  flowers.  The  apart 
ment  was  not  crowded,  though  I  saw  candelabra 
vases,  and  side-tables  of  the  purest  marble,  sup 
ported  upon  massive  gilt  pedestals.  In  all  thi 
there  was  nothing  singular — it  was  the  work  o 
the  upholsterer ;  but  the  beautifiil  arrangemen 
was  the  work  of  a  presiding  taste. 

At  the  farther  end  of  this  superb  room,  stooc 
two  fluted  and  gilded  pilasters,  and  two  pillan 


RATTUN,  THE  REEFER.  259 

of  the  G>rihthian  order,  the  capitals  of  which 
reached  the  ceiling;  but  they  were  not  equi- 
distant from  each  other,  the  space  from  the  pi- 
laster to  the  pillar,  on  either  side,  being  much 
less  than  that  between  the  two  pillars.  Between 
the  two  former,  there  were  placed  statues  of  the 
purest  marble ;  what  fabled  god  or  goddess  they 
were  sculptured  t6  represent  I  know  not ;  I  only 
felt  that  they  personified  male  and  female  beauty. 
I  was  too  digitated  to  permit  myself  to  notice 
them  accurately.  Between  this  screen  of  pillars 
and  stataes.  hung  two  distinct  sets  of  drapery, 
the  one  of  massive  and  crimson  silk  curtains, 
entirely  opaque  by  their  richness  and  their  weight 
of  texture,  that  drew  up  and  aside  with  golden 
cords ;  the  other  of  a  muslin,  almost  transparent, 
how  managed  I  had  no  time  to  examine. 

When  the  draperies  fell  in  their  gorgeous 
and  graceful  folds  to  the  ground,  they  made  of 
the  saloon  two  parts,  and  the  division  that  em- 
braced the  windows  had  then  all  the  privacy  of 
a  secluded  apartment.  When  the  curtains  were 
let  fall,  thus  intercepting  the  light  from  the  bayed 
windows,  there  was  still  sufficient  from  the  three 


260  BATTLIN,  THE  REEFEIt. 

Bash-wiDdows  on  the  left  of  this  large  a] 
to  give  splendour  to  what  would  then  beet 
tile  inner  room,  I 

Tlie  heavy  draperiee  that  hung  between  I1M| 
pillars  were  drawn  up,  but  the  light  rausliD  vt/t 
dropped  even  with  the  rich  Turkey  carp^ 
through  which  1  caught  but  a  dim  and  glowiDi^ 
view  of  ttie  recess.  It  vas,  as  nearly  as  1  catf 
recollect,  about  three  o'docJt  in  the  aAemooDf 
and  tJie  sun,  just  dallying  with  the  tops  of  t}^ 
trees  in  the  distant  Kensington  Gardens,  seirir 
his  level  beams  directly  through  the  large  win- 
dows, and  the  orange-trees  and  exotics  that  were 
placed  about  them. 

1  advanced  to  tlie  screen ;  and,  when  close  upon 
it,  I  perceived  the  figure,  though  but  faintly,  of 
Mrs.  Causand,  reclining  upon  a  couch.  I  paused 
—1  do  not  think,  on  account  of  the  distribution 
of  the  light,  that  she  could  have  seen  me  through 
the  veil  that  intervened  between  ^us.  1  dared 
not  break  through  it  without  a  summons ;  and 
there  1  stood,  for  two  unpleasant  minutes,  en- 
deavouring to  imagine  of  what  nature  my  recep- 
tion would  be  ;  and,  whether  a  lady  surrounded 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.         261 

by  so  much  magnificence  would  listen  to  the  ap- 
peal o^  her  fonner  pet-playfellow. 

At  this  time,  it  was  the  fashion,  in  full  dress, 
to  show  the  whole  of  the  armbcure  tothe  shoulder. 
At  length,  from  out  of  the  mass  of  rich  shawls, 
there  was  lifted  the  white,  rounded,  exquisitively- 
riiaped,  though  somewhat  large,  arm  of  the  lady, 
beckoning  me  to  enter;  but  sound  there  was 
none.  '*  She  is  delighted  to  play  the  empress," 
said  I,  SIS  I  pushed  aside  the  curtain,  and  stood 
before  her  in  her  odoriferous  sanctum. 

Verily,  in  the  pride  of  her  beauty,  she  never 
looked  more  beautiful.  She  was  in  full  dress— 
and,  as  I  surveyed  her  in  mute  admiration,  and 
my  mind  was  busy  at  once  with  the  past  and 
the  present,  I  pronoimced  her  improved  since 
I  had  last  seen  her;  for  I  could  perceive  no 
difference  in  her  coimtenance,  except  that  her 
rounded  and  classic  cheek  glowed  with  a  ruddier 
hue,  and  her  eye  sparkled  with  a  more  restless 
fire. 

I  stood  before  her  at  the  foot  of  the  couch, 
and  my  heart  confessed  that  the  perfection  of 
womanly  beauty  lay  beneath  my  wondering  eyes. 


1 1 


3G3  EATTUK,  THE  BSBFEB. 

but  a  beaut;  which,  if  !□  smiles,  would  rathi 
madden  with  raluptuousne^  tJian  subdue  wid 
tenderness,  and,  't£  in  repose,  seemed  to  comj 
maud  worship,  more  Uian  solicit  aCFection.  t 
As  1  stood  mutely  there,  I  looked  into  bd 
regal  countenance  for  some  encouisgement  Ij 
speak — I  saw  none.  I  then  strove  to  read  theii 
the  sentiment  then  passing  in  her  mind,  and,  tl 
my  confusion,  to  my  dismay,  it  seemed  to  ml 
that  she  was  endeavoming  to  conquer  in  ht^ 
cotmtenajiee  the  expression  of  pain.  I  waUhai 
intently  —  I  was  not  deceived — a  sudden  con- 
vulsion passed  over  her  features,  succeeded  by 
the  paleness  of  an  instant,  and  then  a  gush  of 
tears — I  was  moved,  almost  to  weeping,  yet 
dared  not  advance.  Her  tears  were  hurried  off 
instantly ;  and  then  again  her  dear  smile  of 
former  days  sunned  up  her  countenance  into 
something  heavenly. 


EATTUN,  THE  REEFER.  363 


CHAPTER  XXI. 

I 

Ralph  beginneth  a  conversation  totally  beyond  his  com- 
prehension, and  yet  comprehendeth  more  than  the 
ooDversation  is  meant  to  convey — He  feeleth  some 
inclination  towards  love-making,  but  checketh  himself 
valiantly. 

"  My  own  brave  Ralph,"  said  she,  extending 
to  me  both  her  hands. 

*'  Your  schoolboy  lover,"  said  I :  an  inmiense 
weight  of  anxiety  removed  from  my  mind,  as  I 
kissed  her  jewelled  fingers. 

^*  Hush,  Ralph !  such  words  are  vanities — 
but  ask  me  not  why  ?  Oh,  my  dear  boy,  make 
the  most  of  this  visit — " 

"I  will,  I  will — how  beautiful  you  are! 
how  very,  very  beautiful !" 

"  Am  I  ? — ^I  rejoice  to  hear  you  say  so !  Ralph, 
speak  to  me,  as  my  own  devoted,  my  more  than 


loved  friend  —  by  all  the  affectitui  tliat  I  h 
lavished  on  you,  speak  to  me  truly;  do  you,  ^ 
est  Ralph,  see  no  alteration  in  me?"  I 

"  A  little,"  said  I,  smiling  triumphantly,  i 
very  little,  for  there  was  never  room  for  muci 
you  are  a  little  more  beautiful  than  when  I  -j 
beheld  you,"  j 

"  Thank  you  —  you  have  given  me  n 
happiness  by  the  fervent  honesty  of  that  spa 
than  1  have  experienced  for  days  and  weeks,  M 
months  before.  Stand  &om  me,  and  let  me  I 
at  j-ou  —  you,  Ralph,  are  also  much,  very  ml 
improved  —  perhaps  there  is  a  httle  too  mi 
cast  of  thought  upon  your  brow  —  that  thou) 
is  a  sad  wrinkle-maker  — but,  Ralph,  you  i 
not  well  dressed.  But  come  and  sit  by  me  m 
there,  on  tliat  low  footstool.  I  alwajs  loved 
play  thus  with  your  pretty  curls  —  I  wisii  tj 
they  were  a  shade  darker ;  as  you  have  gra 
so  manly,  it  would  have  been  as  well,  Tru 
as  I  look  into  the  ingenuous  brightness 
your  founlenance,  the  joys  of  past  happy  lioi 
seem  to  wing  themselves  back,  and  whisper 
me  that  word  so  little  understood —  Happiae 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.         265 

But,  Ralph,  we  will  be  alone  together  for  this 
day  at  least — you  shall  dine  with  me  here  — 
we  will  have  no  interruption — you  shall  tell  me 
all  your  deeds  of  arms — and,  you  naughty  boy, 
of  love  also.  Reach  that  bell,  and  ring  it — but 
gently.'* 

I  obeyed,  and  the  same  handsome  young  lady 
whom  I  had  before  seen  answered  the  silver 
summons.  She  glided  in,  and  stooped  over  to 
Mrs.  Causand,  as  she  lay  on  the  couch,  and  their 
short  conference  was  in  whispers.  As  she  retired, 
I  was  rather  puzzled  by  the  deep  sorrow  on  her 
countenance,  and  the  unfeigned  look  of  pity  with 
which  she  regarded  her  mistress  or  her  friend. 
When  we  were  again  alone,  I  resimied  my  low 
seat,  and  was  growing  rather  passionate  over  one 
of  her  beautiful  hands,  when,  looking  down,  ap- 
parently much  pleased  with  these  silly  endear- 
ments, she  said,  "  Yes,  Ralph,  make  the  most  of 
it ;  hand  and  heart,  all,  all  are  your's,  for  the 
little  space  that  they  will  be  mine." 

Strange  and  disloyal  thoughts  began  their 
turmoil  in  my  bosom;  and  speculation  was  busy, 
and  prospects  of  vanity  began  to  dance  before 

VOL.  Jll.  N 


superb  „o 

tJje  aflecti( 

iMtl  was 

The  pn 

died  on  mj 

^Miad  that  J 

"Now,  J 

**>  me  all  th 

—speak  lo, 

"Mythiah, 

"  Buti  mj 

"pon  a  count 

•"'"e?    Am 

"o  you  kno» 

"lave  often  t 

window,  and 

™»ng  the  tre 


RATTL1N,  THE  REEFEIU  267 

upon  them.  You  ask  me  to  rise  —  oh,  son  of 
my  best  Mend—- know,  that  I  cannot  — with- 
out assistance  — -  without  danger  —  I  am  on  my 
sick  couch  —  on  my  dying  bed  —  they  tell  me 
— ^me — me,  whom  you  just  now  so  praised  for 
improved  beauty,  that  my  days  are  numbered 
—but,  I  believe  them  not  —  no— no— no— but 
hush,  softly !  —  I  may  not  agitate  myself  —  you, 
my  sweet  boy,  have  surely  come  to  me  the  blessed 
messenger  of  health  *-  your  finger  shall  turn 
back  the  hand  upon  the  dial,  and  years,  whole 
years  of  happiness,  shall  be  your's  and  mine/* 

**  Inscrutable  ruler  of  heaven !"  I  exclaimed, 
**  it  is  impossible  !  You  are  but  trying  my  affec- 
tion  —  you  do  but  wish  to  witness  the  depth  of 
my  agony  —  you  would  prove  me  — but  this  is 
with  a  torture  too  cruel.  Say  —  oh  say  — 
my  dear  Mrs.  Causand,  that  you  are  trifling 
with  me  —  you  —  you  are  now  the  only  friend 
that  I  have  upon  earth." 

"  These  emotions,  my  dear  boy,  will  slay  me 
outright  —  the  monster  is  now,  even  now,  grap- 
pling with  me  —  give  me  your  hand."  She  took 
it,  and  placed  it  over  the  region  of  her  heart. 

n2 


t*»  instant  am 
surprisej  me  so 
paroxysm  was  as 
features  again  r 
of  majestic  beaut 

"  You  know 
motion  sets  my  h 
—  and  —  alas,  al 
than  the  last.  T 
I  cannot  believe  i 
't-  I  have  none  ( 
me.  Every  thin; 
and  happiness— J 

plete  the  scene 

not  die.  Had  my  1 
my  foniplcxioi]  wit 
have  been  reconcil 
ble— no— no— Rb 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  269 

youngest  of  us  cannot  always  escape  —  hoping, 
trusting,  relying  on  the  best,  we  should  be 
prepared  for  the  worst," 

**  But  I  am  not  prepared,'*  she  exclaimed  with 
a  fierce  energy  that  breathed  defiance ;  and  then, 
relapsing  into  a  profoimd  melancholy,  she 
mournfully  continued  —  **  and  I  cannot  prepare 
myself." 

"  Have  you  spoken  to  a  clergyman  ?*'  said  I, 
not  knowing  exactly  what  else  to  say.  "  Is  not 
this  some  book  of  divine  consolation  ?" 

I  took  it  up ;  it  was  the  popular  novel  of  the 
day,  entitled,  "The  Rising  Sun."  What  a 
profound  mockery  for  a  death-bed  ! 

"  I  tell  you,  my  dear  Ralph,  that  you  must 
not  agitate  me.  Talk  of  any  tiling  but  my  ap- 
proaching death  —  for  know,  that  I  am  resolved 
not  to  die.  To-morrow,  there  will  be  a  consulta- 
tion  over  my  case  of  the  very  first  of  the  medical 
faculty  in  the  world.  Ralph,  do  you  not  league 
together  with  the  rest  of  the  world,  and  condemn 
me  to  an  untimely  death." 

"  Untimely,  indeed." 

She  had  now  evidently  talked  too  much ;  she 


'»*('#ii|<N|w 


round,  a 
upon  the 
living,  ai 
upon  the 
At  leoj 


"Myd 

not  in  aaa 

"I  und 

that  you  at 

you— yeti 

question  — 

mother?" 

"Doesde 

"  f  am  no( 

answer  you  ti 

•^t  J  have  U 


RATTLIN,  THB  REBPEIU  271 

calling,  every  thought — ^that  may  stand  between 
me  and  the  development  of  the  mystery  of  my 
birth.  It  is  the  sole  purpose  of  my  life— -the 
whole  devotion  of  my  existence/' 

**  Ralph  —  a  foolish  one  — just  now.  Bide 
the  course  of  events.** 

**  I  will  not — ^if  I  can  control  them.  Through 
this  detestable  mystery,  I  have  been  insulted, 
reviled — a  wretch  has  had  the  hardihood,  the 
turpitude,  to  brand  both  you  and  me— me  as  tlie 
base-bom  child,  and  you  as  the  ignominious 
parent." 

"  Who,  who,  who  ? " 

^*  A  pale-fSeu;ed,  handsome,  short,  smooth-  word- 
ed villain,  with  a  voice  that  I  now  recognise,  for 
the  first  time — a  coward  —  a  swindler,  that  calls 
himself,  undoubtedly  among  other  aliases  — " 

**  Stop,  Ralph,  in  misery ! "  and,  for  the  first 
time,  she  sat  upright  on  her  couch.  "  The  crisis 
of  a  whole  life  is  at  hand  —  I  must  go  through 
it,  if  I  die  on  the  spot — ring  again  for  Miss 
Tremayne." 

The  gentle  and  quiet  lady  was  soon  at  Mrs. 
Causand's  side.    There  was  a  little  whispering 


tically  to  ke 

me  slightly, 


R/ITTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 


273 


CHAPTER  XXII. 

Thft  veil  is  fast  dropping  from  before  Ralph's  mysterious 
parentage  —  Strange  disclosures^  and  much  good  evi- 
dence that  this  is  a  very  bad  world  —  Ralph's  love- 
symptoms  are  fast  subsiding. 


"  Ralph/'  said  the  lady,  when  we  were  again 
alone,  "  I  have,  throngli  the  whole  of  my  life, 
always  detested  scenes,  and,  to  the  utmost  of  my 
power,  ever  repelled  all  violent  emotions.  I  am 
not  now  going  to  give  you  a  history  of  my  life 

—  to  make  my  confessions,  and  ask  pardon  of 
you  and  God,  and  then  die  —  nonsense ;  but  I 
must  say  that  your  fate  has  been  somewhat 
strangely  connected  with  my  own.  I  acknow- 
ledge to  you,  at  once,  that  I  am  a  fallen  woman 

—  but,  as  I  never  had  the  beauty,  so  I  never  had 

n5 


Way  it  be,  i 

■™all  expia 

spare  me,  as 

person  you  ] 

— it  may  not, 

the  only  bitte 

of  a  too  plea 

alas!  until, ei 

"1^  aU,  and  tl 

much  it  may  h 

It  was  a  t 

gradual  emotio 

Woman,  as  1  r 

'  took  it  up  01 

Daunton  fim  a 

allowed  to  eater 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.         275 

ration.  They  were  certainly  not  impassive,  for,  in 
the  fixed  eyes  that  glared  upon  me,  there  was  a 
strange  restlessness,  though  not  of  motion. 

The  first  symptoms  of  emotion  that  I  could 
perceive  took  place  when  I  described  the  lash  de- 
scending upon  the  shrinking  shoulders  of  Daim- 
ton.  She  clasped  her  hands  firmly  together,  and 
upturned  her  eyes^  as  if  imploring  Heaven  for 
mercy,  or  intreating  it  for  vengeance.  I  perceived, 
as  I  proceeded,  that  I  was  gradually  losing 
groimd  in  her  affections  —  that  she  was,  in  spite 
of  herself,  espousing  the  cause  of  my  pledged 
enemy ;  and,  when  I  told  her  of  the  defiance  that 
I  had  received  in  the  sick  bay,  she  murmureu 
forth,  "  Well  done !  well  done !"  followed  by  a 
name  that  was  not  mine. 

When  I  related  to  her  the  dociunents  that  he 
had  shown  me  to  convince  me  that  he  was  no 
impostor,  she  said,  '^  Ralphs  it  is  enough  —  it  is 
of  little  consequence  now  what  name  you  may 
give  him.     He  is  my  sen  /" 

«  And  my  half-brother  ?" 

"  Oh  no,  no,  young  sir !  Disgraced  as  he 
has  been,  a  nobler  blood  than  that  of  Rattlin 


more  calml 

g^celess  as 

own  mother. 

"Mn,Cai 

■mU  thai,  „, 

'  't  seems  thi 

•onablj.  too,  t, 

'«™  I  simied 

"^OTg  teen  the 

"*  no  Jongs, 

•""^  bf  a  re. 

qnencies.    Jje  ] 


'■'"■  of  doing  ni 
past  shall  seal  „ 
lis  ha.  stolen  ali 


father  .. 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  277 

accuser!  must  act  against  him  as  his  enemy; 
but  1  have  long  ago  discarded  him  —  ahnost 
cursed  him.  Oh,  Ralph,  Ralph !  had  he  been 
like  you  —  but,  from  his  youth  upwards,  he 
has  been  inclined  to  wickedness  —  no  fortune 
could  have  supplied  his  extravagance  —  he  has 
exhausted  even  a  mother's  love.  I  refused  him 
money,  and  he  stole  my  papers — I  never  dreamt 
of  the  vile  use  that  he  intended  to  put  them  to. 
Spare  me  for  a  little  while,  and  I  will  let  you 
know  all;  but,  should  you  once  get  his  neck 
under  your  heel,  oh  !  tread  lightly  on  my  poor 
William !" 

She  had  evidently  another  and  a  most  severe 
attack  of  her  complaint,  which  passed  rapidly 
over  like  the  rest ;  but  she  now  had,  for  the  first 
time  within  my  observation,  recourse  to  her 
medicines.  When  sufficiently  recovered,  she 
continued :— 

"  Ralph,  neither  you  nor  any  one  shall  know 
my  private  history.  It  is  enough  for  you  to  un- 
derstand that  1  was,  almost  from  infancy,  destined 
to  associate  with  the  greatest  of  the  sterner  sex. 
Early  was  I  involved  in  this  splendid  -  degra- 


properly  submissi 

lish  ear,  this  som 

Let  me  not,  Ral 

you  — I  was  taug 

I  would  not  n«: 

only  aon,  Bomatii) 

perron  over  whose 

— and,  mark  me, ', 

now  think  (rf  me, . 

ride  me  not  when ; 

personage  I  was  d 

She  paused,  an 

Mtered  strangely, 

upon  her  lipe,  and 

no  means  aatonishe 

look  upon  her  mo 


RATTLIN.  THE  REEFER.         279 

• 

my  hearty  and  the  husband  of  ceremony,  have 
long  both  been  dead.  I  enjoy  a  competency- 
nay,  much  more— -and  yet,  they  talk  to  me  of 
dying.  To-morrow  will  decide  upon  my  fote. 
I  have  lived  a  good  life,  according  to  my  capa- 
biUties — ^it  is  no  delusion — ^but,  should  the  sen- 
tence of  to-morrow's  consultation  be  fetal,  then 
the  lawyer  and  the  clergyman — " 

"  And  why  not  to-day  ?  " 

^^  Because  it  is  our's,  Ralph,  or  rather  your'^s. 
Well,  your  mother  was  of  good,  though  not  of 
exalted,  family,  the  daughter  of  a  considerable 
freeholder  in  our  neighboiurhood.  She  was  the 
eldest  of  many  children,  and  the  most  beautiful 
bom  of  all  in  the  county.  Her  fiither  sent  her  to 
London ;  and  she  became  thus,  for  her  station  and 
the  period,  over-educated.  She  foolishly  pre- 
ferred the  fashionable,  and  refined,  and  luxurious, 
service  in  a  nobleman's  family  to  a  noble  inde- 
pendence in  her  honest  father's  spacious  house. 
It  was  her  mistake  and  her  ruin. 

"  Ralph  !  I  loved  your  mother  —  you  know 
it  —  but,  as  a  governess  in  the  Duke  of  E's 
family,  I  hated  and  feared  her.     I  don't  think 


security.     M 

but,  at  lengt 

niaay  ladies, 

position,  awec 

ceived  me  —  t 

governess  elo] 

they  were  mar 

the  ceremony," 

"Thank  Go. 

"Reginald 

and  unprineiple 

fered  her  again 

the  dull  e'sfcmil 

journey  necessa 

at  Reading.     * 

while,'  was  the  c 

husband,  'and  J 


RATTLIN.  THE  REEFER.  281 

"About  two  years  after  this  marriage,  Sir 
Luke,  the  father  of  Reginald,  fell  ill,  and  the 
neglect  of  the  husband  became  only  something 
a  little  short  of  actual  desertion.  Your  mother 
had  a  proud  as  well  as  a  loving  spirit.  She 
wrote  to  the  father  of  Reginald — she  interested 
the  duke  in  her  favoiu* — she  was  now  as  anxious 
for  publicity  as  conceahnent  5  but  the  expect- 
ant heir  defied  us  all!  He  confessed  himself  a 
villain,  and  avowed  that  he  had  entrapped  your 
mother  by  a  fictitious  marriage." 

"  And  he  my  father !  —  but  you,  you^  her 
friend?'' 

**  He  deceived  me  also.  He  declared  the  man 
who  pretended  to  perfom  the  marriage  cere- 
mony  was  not  in  holy  orders.  He  dared  us  to 
prove  it.  His  father,  bred  up  in  prejudice  of 
birth  and  family,  did  not  urge  the  son  to  do 
justice  to  your  mother,  but  satisfied  his  con- 
science by  providing  very  amply  for  yourself: 
he  first  took  credit  to  himself  for  thus  having 
done  his  duty,  then  the  sacrament,  and  died. 

"  Your  father,  now  Sir  Reginald,  in  due  time 
proposed  for  the  richest  heiress  in  the  three 


np— hia 

grinding 

theself-c 

"Tbea 

"And 

ymi  aren. 

your  moth 

"Oh  no 

"After  1 

respected  i) 

her  name- 

never  gi[>_ 

man  she  loc 

^  confeese) 

of  hia  child 

o™'  yourw 

he  never  saw 

"J     fhtmV 


RATTLIN^  THE  REEFER. 


283 


he  fled  like  a  craven  from  his  only  and  injured 
son." 

*^  Most  probably.  Rumour  said  that  he  had 
made  several  visits  to  England  under  a  strict  in- 
cognito. But  I  must  pause — the  evening  is  fast 
waning — ^let  me  repose  a  little,  and  then  we  will 
have  lights  and  dinner."  She  fell  back  upon  her 
couch^  and  appeared  again  to  slumber. 


384         RATTLIK.  THE  REEFER. 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 

Ralph  thinks  seriously  about  chaDging  his  name — Gets 
a  little  unwilling  justice  done  to  himself,  and  ^im 
much  information — The  whole  wound  up  suddenly  and 
sorrowfully. 

It  was  nearly  dark,  as  I  sat  for  more  than  half 
an  hour  by  the  side  of  the  impenitent  beauty— 
I  could  not  conceive  that  she  was  in  any  danger. 
Whikt  she  discoursed  with  me  so  fuDy,  her  voice 
was  firm,  though  not  loud,  and,  were  it  not  for 
a  short  and  sudden  check,  sometimes  in  the 
middle  of  a  word,  I  should  say  that  I  never 
before  heard  her  converse  more  fluently  or  more 
musically./ 

Whilst  she  yet  reclined,  the  servants  brought 
in  lights,  and  made  preparations  for  our  little 


RATTLIN»  THE  REKFER.  285 

dinner,  a  small  table  being  laid  close  to  Mrs. 
Causand^s  couch.  When  this  exquisite  repast 
was  ready,  and  Miss  Tremayne  made  her  ap- 
pearance, Mrs.  Causand  rose,  apparently  much 
renovated.  She  looked  almost  happy :  without 
assistance,  she  walked  from  her  sofa,  and  took 
her  place  at  the  table. 

"  There,  Fanny,"  said  she,  quite  triumphantly 
— "  and  not  a  single  attack  !  This  dear  Ralph 
has  surely  brought  health  with  him.  Yesterday, 
this  exertion  would  have  killed  me." 

"  Do  not,  however,'*  said  the  lady,  "  try  your 
self  too  much." 

We  dined  cheerfully :  she  seemed  to  have  for- 
gotten her  son,  and  I  my  much  injured  mother. 
After  the  dinner  was  concluded,  and  Miss  Tre- 
mayne had  retired,  and  my  hostess  had  retm-ned 
to  her  sofa,  she  sent  for  her  writing-desk,  and 
then  proceeded  with  her  narrative. 

"  Your  mother,  my  dear  Ralph,  yearned  for 
your  society.  She  had  saved  a  considerable  sum 
of  money — she  wished  for  a  home,  ^  procure 
which,  she  married  that  little  ugly,  learned 
Frenchman,  Cherfeuil — but  even  that  she  did 


'iH*«^^#Wt 


JI'  1  1  IT 

^V'i'';  r 

"Sip  you 

cellent— I    vi 

Hewings  say 

little  lover, 

Ralph  Rathe] 

"  How  is  i 

"You  sfaaj 

your  good  mt 

Cherfeuil,  wl 

large  school,  i 

you  were  entn 

that  you  sbou] 

roof— you  wer 

and  you  were  ] 

"Oh,  how  h 

"Well,  you 

tliati  hadfiret 

quaintance  witi 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  287 

**  Rathelin^  of  a  surety  —  it  was  first  of  all 
corrupted  to  Rattlin^  by  that  topmost  of  all  top- 
sawyers,  Joe  Brandon  —  it  having  ever  been  so 
established,  for  many  reasons,  concealment  among 
the  rest,  your  mother  thought  it  best  for  you  to 
retain  it.    Now,  Ralph,  mark  this — about  eight, 
or  rather  seven,  months  ago,  I  took  a  short  trip 
to  my  native  country  in  Germany.     Never  was 
my  health  more  redundant.      I  left  your  mother 
prosperous  and  happy,  and  beautiful  as  ever 
— she  had  heard  of  you,  and  heard  much  in  your 
favour,  though  you  never  once  condescended 
to  write  to  any  one  of  us.    Whilst  I  was  in— — 
yoiu-  father  returned,  a  changed  man— changed 
in  every  thing,  even  in  religion :  he  had  turned 
penitent  and  a  Catholic,  and  so  had  his  travelling 
companion,  the  very  man  who  had  married  him 
to  your  sweet  mother." 

"  Then  he  was  in  holy  orders  ?  " 
«  He  was." 

"  God  of  infinite  justice,  I  thank  you  ! " 
"The  Reverend  Mr.  Thomas  came  here  to 
my  very  house,  when  I  was  away,  with  a  long 
and  repentant  letter  from  his  patron — ^full  of 


Cnuand 

tliat  absi 
whomyt 
his  mot! 
carried  oj 
tb&t  unre 

"But : 

breathJees 

"  By  thi 

Sir  Regius 

She  opej 

from  my  ft 

Mribedthei 

ably  and  m 

praying  Mn 

of  thehappi 

"  And  yot 

"No,  Rail 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFERr  289 

of  it — ^three  days  before  I  returned,  your  mother 
had  died,  abnost  suddenly." 

"Ah,  true,  true  !"  said  I  mournfully.  But,  a 
sudden  pang  of  agony  seizing  my  inmost  heart, 
1  suddenly  started  up,  and,  seizing  her  roughly 
by  the  hand,  I  said  sternly  — 

"  Look  me  in  the  fiwe,  madam  —  do  you  see 
any  resemblance  there  to  my  poor,  poor  mother  ?" 

"Oh,  very,  very  great — ^but  why  this  violence?*' 

"  Because  I  now  understand  the  viUany  that 
caused  her  death.  Your  son  murdered  her  — 
see  in  me  her  reproachful  countenance  —  oh, 
Mrs.  Causand,  you  and  your's  have  been  the 
bane,  the  ruin  of  me  and  mine." 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  those  horrible  words  ? 
Ralph,  beware,  or  you  will  yourself  commit  a 
dastardly  murder  upon  me,  even  as  you  stand 
there." 

"  Mrs.  Causand,  I  will  be  calm.  I  see  it  all. 
With  the  first  letter*  of  Sir  Reginald's  in  his 
hand,  he  went  to  Stickenham;  and,  with  the 
murderous  intent  strong  in  his  bkck  bosom,  he 
branded  my  mother  with  bigamy,  incensed  the 
weak  Frenchman  figainst  her,  and,  in  twenty* 

VOL  III,  Q 


not  Ralj 

physical, 

turned  h 

for  his  aj 

sfeny-hea 

his  motbi 

^^  same 

for  his  8 

stolen.     1 

had  an  at; 

senseless  t 

beaten  hei 

would  be 

Elizabeth  - 

"Butwl 

slHrtiog  up 

is  at  work. 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER/  291 

and  rifle  his  hoards.  1  must  away — but,  ere  I 
go,  know  that,  with  these  abstracted  papers,  he 
sought  me  in  the  West  Indies,  cheated  me  out  of 
my  name  on  my  return  to  England,  and,  finally, 
waylaid  and  attempted,  with  a  low  accomplice,  to 
assassinate  me  on  my  return  from  Stickenham/' 

"  God  of  Heaven,  let  me  die  ! — he  could  never 
have  been  son  of  mine — let  me  know  the  hor- 
rid peirticulars/' 

**  No— no— no— I  must  away— or  more  mur- 
ders will  be  perpetrated." 

"  Stop,  Ralph,  a  Uttle  moment— do  not  go 
imjprovided.  Take  these  and  these — he  stole 
not  all  the  documents — let  me  also  give  my  tes- 
timony under  my  own  hand  of  your  identity. 
It  may  be  of  infinite  service  to  you." 

She  then  wrote  a  short  letter  to  Sir  Reginald, 
describing  accurately  my  present  appearance, 
and  vouching  that  I,  and  none  other,  was  the 
identical  Ralph  RattUn,  who  was  nursed  by  the 
Brandons,  and  born  at  Reading. 

"  Take  this,  Ralph,  and  show  it  to  Sir  Re- 
ginald. I  only  ask  one  thing :  spare  the  life — 
only  the  life— of  that  unfortimate  boy  ! — and  in 

o2 


when  a  | 

two  roug 

by  the  w 

They  adi 

elegaDt  8t 

herso&,  j 

beauty,  s 

ind^^ty . 

"Begy 

—  duty  — 

°ofy  a  sea 

alias  Sneak 

"  Stop,  I 

Qot  here  — 

what  is  he  i 

"Offbrg 

complice,  ol 

tleman,  a  m 


RATTLIN,  THC  KEEPER.  293 

eitclaimed,  '^  Oh,  Ralph !  was  this  well  done  of 
you?"  Her  fortitude^  her  sudden  accession  of 
physical  strength,  seemed  to  desert  her  at  once  ; 
and  she,  who  just  before  stood  forth  the  un- 
daunted heroine,  now  sank  on  her  couch,  the 
crushed  invalid.  At  length,  she  murmured  forth, 
feebly,  "  Ralph,  rid  me  of  these  fellows." 

I  soon  effected  this.  I  told  them  that  I  was 
tiie  culprit's  principal  accuser ;  that  I  was  assured 
he  was  not  only  not  within  the  house,  but  I 
verily  believed  many  miles  distant.  ITiey  be- 
lieved me,  and  respectfully  enough  retired. 

Miss  Tremayne,  the  companion  and  nurse  of 
the  invalid,  now  with  myself  stood  ovier  her.  She 
had  another  attack  upon  the  region  of  her  heart ; 
and  it  was  so  long  before  she  rallied,  that  we 
thought  the  fatal  moment  had  arrived.  When 
she  could  again  breathe  freely,  her  colour  did 
not,  as  formerly,  return  to  her  cheeks.  They 
wore  an  intense  and  transparent  whiteness,  at 
once  awful  and  beautiful.  Yet  she  spoke  calmly 
and  collectedly.  I  entreated  to  be  permitted  to 
depart — ^my  intercessions  were  seconded  by  the 
young  lady.     But  the  now  cold  hand  of  Mrs. 


"and  a 

I  ever  ye 

now  the 

aaickbei 

of  life— a 

yet  I  dan 

i  never fri 

is  wannth 

I  cradle 

whiqieped 

retired,  to 

phygiciftD, 

"Are  wt 

lady,  with 

hoirid  pres 

—  eveiy  th; 

Every  senaa 

one — and  t\ 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  295 

**  Miss  Tremayne?"  said  I,  soothingly. 

'^  Is  but  a  hired  companion ;  engaged  only 
since  the  occurrence  of  these  attacks.  Yes,  you 
will  desert  me  to  these  —  and  for  what,  God  of 
retribution  1  —  to  hunt  down  the  life  of  my  only 
son  !  Will  you,  will  you,  Ralph,  do  this  over- 
cruel  thing  ?" 

*^  He  has  attempted  mine  —  he  still  seeks  it. 
Let  us  talk,  let  us  think,  of  other  matters* 
Compose  yoiur  mind  with  religious  thoughts. 
Your  strength  will  rally  diuing  the  night;  to- 
morrow comes  hope,  the  consultation  of  physi- 
cians, and,  with  God's  good  blessings,  life  and 
health,'' 

**  To  hear,  to  know,  that  he  is  to  die  the 
death  of  the  felon  !  Promise  me  to  forego  your 
purpose,  or  let  me  die  first !" 

"  I  have  sworn,  over  the  grave  of  my  mother, 
that  the  laws  shall  decide  this  matter  between 
us.  If  he  escape,  I  forgive  him,  and  may  God 
forgive  him,  too !" 

"And  must  it  come  to  this?"  she  sobbed  forth 
in  the  bitterness  of  her  anguish,  whilst  the  tears 
streamed  down  her  cheeks  from  her  closed  eye- 


296  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

lidsu  ^^  Will  this  cruel  youth  at  length  extort  the 
horrible  confession ! — ^it  must  be  so— one  pang~ 
and  it  will  be  over.  Let  me  forego  your  support 
— ^lay  me  gently  on  the  pillow,  for  you  will  loathe 
me.  A  little  while  ago,  and  I  told  you  I  had 
been  faithful  to  him — ^it  was  a  bitter  fiedsehood — 
know,  that  my  son,  my  abandoned  William,  is 
also  the  son  of  yoiu-  &ther — say,  will  his  blood 
now  be  upon  yoiu*  hands  ?" 

^*  Tell  me,  beautiful  cause  of  all  our  miseries, 
does  your  miserable  offspring  know  this  ?" 

"  Yes,*'  said  she,  very  fSEuntly. 

*•  Yet  Atf  could  seek  my  life — basely — ^but,  no 
matter.  His  blood  shall  never  stain  my  hand 
—  1  will  not  seek  him  —  if  he  crosses  my  path, 
I  will  avoid  him — I  will  even  assist  him  to  escape 
to  some  country,  where  unknown,  he  may,  by  a 
regenerated  life,  wipe  out  the  dark  catalogue  of 
his  crimes,  make  his  peace  with  man  here,  and 
with  his  God  hereafter." 

"  Will  you  do  all  this,  my  generous,  my 
good,  my  godlike  Ralph  ?" 

"  You  and  God  be  my  witnesses !" 

She  sprang  up  wildly  from  her  apparent  state 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  297 

of  lethargy^  clasped  me  fervently  in  her  arms, 
blessed  me  repeatedly,  and  then,  in  the  midst 
of  her  raptures,  she '  cried  out,  "  Oh,  Ralph, 
you  have  renewed  my  being,  you  have  given  me 
long  years  of  life,  and  health,  and  happiness. 
You — "  and  here  she  uttered  a  loud  shriek, 
that  reverberated  through  the  mansion  —  but 
it  was  cut  short  in  the  very  midst — a  thrilling, 
a  horrible  silence  ensued — she  fell  dead  upon  the 
couch. 

I  stood  awe-struck  over  the  beautiful  corpse, 
as  it  lay  placidly  extended,  disfigured  by  no 
contortion,  but,  on  the  contrary,  a  heavenly  re- 
poee  in  the  features — a  sad  mockery  of  worldly 
vanity.  Death  had  arrayed  himself  in  the  last 
imported  P^sian  mode. 

•  At  that  dying  shriek  in  rushed  the  household, 
headed  by  the  physician,  and  closely  followed 
by  the  companion,  with  the  hired  nurses.  Me- 
thought  that  the  doctor  looked  on  this  wreck  of 
mortality  with  grim  satisfaction.  **  I  knew  it," 
said  he,  slowly ;  "  and  Doctor  Phillimore  is  no- 
thing more  than  a  solemn  dunce.  I  told  him 
that  she  would  not  survive  to  be  subjected  to 

o5 


"  Younj 

death  a  ha 

"layne,  he 

or  rather  t 

"It  was 

young  lady 

"Ah,  sh 

nate.    The 

TOreationbe 

the  lady;  di 

her?" 

"  On  tie 
most  imboui 
died." 

"And  the 
the  prayer  fi 
she  was  soatc 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.         299 

you  know,  Miss  Tremayne,  if  she  have  any  rela- 
tions living? — they  should  be  sent  for." 

"  I  know  of  none.  A  person  of  distinction, 
whose  name  I  am  not  at  liberty  to  mention, 
sometimes  visited  her.  We  had  better  send  for 
her  solicitor." 

Some  other  conversation  took  place,  which  I 
hardly  noticed.  The  body  was  adjusted  on  the 
couch,  we  left  the  room,  and  the  door  was  locked. 
As  I  walked  quietly,  almost  stealthily,  home,  I 
felt  stunned.  Health  and  mortality,  death  and 
life,  seemed  so  fearfully  jumbled  together,  that 
I  almost  doubted  whether  I  was  not  traversing  a 
city  of  spirits. 

No  sorrow  then  hung  about  my  heart — I  was 
rather  inclined  to  deride  earth  and  all  that  it 
contained.  The  reckless  and  hard  mirth,  more 
expressive  of  pain  than  the  bitterest  tears,  was 
fast  seizing  upon  me ;  and,  when  I  broke  into 
the  room  of  our  humble  lodgings,  it  was  with  a 
ribald  jest  and  a  sneer  at  the  scene  that  I  had 
just  witnessed  with  which  I  accosted  my  newly- 
endowed  travelling  tutor,  Pigtop. 

My  Achates  started  at  me  when  I  had  described 


300  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

to  him  the  late  occurrences,  and  shodL  his 
head.  **  I  do  n't  see  much  cause  for  sniggering/' 
said  he. 

*^  Why,  has  not  John  Bull  one  pension  less  to 
pay — and  a  glorious  one,  too  ?  —  do  n't  we  love 
our  country,  Pigtop  ?  But,  we  must  be  off  to- 
morrow. There  's  my  double,  depend  upon  it, 
doing  the  filial  with  my  honoured  and  most 
Catholic  father." 

^<  And  have  you  at  length  discovered  him  ?" 
said  he. 

"  I  have  —  a  voice  almost  from  the  grave  has 
imparted  to  me  all  that  I  wished  to  know — and 
something  more.  I  have  sprung  from  a  beautiful 
race — ^but,  we  must  not  speak  ill  of  kith  and  kin, 
must  we,  Pigtop  ?" 

**  For  certain  not.  And,  so  your  father 'actually 
did  send  that  old  lord  to  look  after  you  at  your 
return  from  the  West  Indies.  Well,  that  shows 
some  affection  for  you,  at  all  events." 

"  The  fruits  of  which  affection  Daunton  is,  no 
doubt,  now  reaping.*^ 

"  Well,  let  us  go  and  cut  his  throat,  or  rather 
turn  him  over  to  the  hangman." 


RATTLIN,  THE  RE£FER. 


301 


*^  N09  Pigtop ;  I  have  promised  his  mother 
that  I  will  not  attempt  his  life." 

"  But,  I  have  not." 

^*  Hmnph  —  let  us  to  roost.  To«morrow,  at 
break  of  day^  we  wiU  be  off  for  Rathelin  Hall. 
See  that  our  arms  are  in  order.  And  now  to 
what  rest  nature  and  good  consciences  will 
afford  us." 


302  RATTLIN,  Tl 


Mr.  Hglop  believeth  io  Gh 
Witches,  but  none  at  all  ii 
after  supper,  audj  after  luj 

Eari.v  next  morning, 

wei-e  seated  in  a  post-ch 
oMr  way  towards  the  wei 
land.  Notwithstanding 
veyance,  the  journey  wi 
oiir  debate  was  frequent 
of  our  operations.  W) 
Exeter,  where  we  fount 
in  order  to  gain  some  lil 
fatigues  of  our  incessant 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  303 

oiir  minds  to  hire  three  horses  and  a  groom,  and^ 
having  very  accurately  ascertained  the  exact  site 
of  Rathelin  Hall,  which  was  situated  a  few  miles, 
to  the  north-ecistward  of  Barnstaple,  we  arrivid 
there  towards  the  close  of  the  day,  and  put  up 
at  a  very  decent  inn  in  an  adjoining  village. 

The  old  and  large  house  was  distinctly  visible, 
notwithstanding  the  well  wooded  park  in  which 
it  was  situated,  from  the  windows  of  our  inn.  A 
conference  with  our  host  fully  realized  our 
worst  fears.  He  informed  us  that  Sir  Reginald 
was  not  expected  to  live  many  days ;  that  his 
whole  deportment  was  very  edifying ;  and,  more- 
over, that  his  dying  hours  were  solaced  and 
sweetened  by  the  presence  and  the  assiduities  of  his 
only  and  long-disowned,  but  now  acknowledged, 
son,  Ralph.  We,  moreover,  learned  that  this 
Ralph  came  attended  by  a  London  attorney,  and 
that  they,  with  the  priest  Thomas,  in  the  inter- 
vals between  rest,  refection,  and  prayer,  were  ac- 
tively employed  in  settUng  his  sublunary  afiiairs, 
very  much  to  the  dissatisfieu^tion  of  a  Mr.  Sea- 
bright,  the  family  solicitor,  and  the  land-steward 
of  the  estate. 


t 


304  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 


€€ 


W^ere  does  Mr.  Seabright  reside?"  was 
my  question^  instantly. 

^.  *^  Why,  here,  sir,  to  be  -sure,  in  our  town  of 
A|itwick,  and  mortally  in  dudgeon  he  has  taken 
all  this." 

*^  Undoubtedly,  and  with  justiee,"  was  my 
reply.  ^^  So  fiedthful  a  servant,  who  has  for  so 
many  years  had  the  sole  management  of  the 
Rathelin  aSiairs,  should  not  be  cast  off  so  slightly. 
Give  us  as  good  a  supper,  landlord,  as  your  skill 
and  Antwick  can  produce,  and  let  us  have  covers 
for  three.  Send  your  porter  down  to  Mr.  Sea- 
bright— but,  I  had  better  write  him  a  note.^  So 
I  sent  to  him  a  polite  invitation  to  sup  with  us, 
telling  him  that  two  strangers  wished  to  see  him 
on  important  business. 

To  all  these  proceedings  Pigtop  demurred. 
He  was  for  the  summary  process  of  going  before 
a  magistrate  next  morning,  and  taking  out  a 
warrant  to  apprehend  Joshua  Daunton  on  the 
capital  charge  for  which  he  was  pursued  in 
London,  and  thus,  at  one  blow,  wind  up  the 
affair. 
But,  I  held  my  promise  to  Mrs.  Causand  to 


RATTLIK,  THE  REEFER.         305 

be  sacred,  and  determined  to  give  him,  my  fra- 
ternal enemy,  one  chance  of  escaping.  Pigtop^s 
repugnance,  however,  to  the  employment  of  a 
lawyer  could  not  be  overcome ;  so,  not  being 
able  to  obtain  his  consent,  I  determined  to  try 
and  do  without  it,  which  my  friend  averred  to  be 
impossible. 

At  nine  o'clock  precisely,  as  the  smoking 
dishes  appeared,  so  did  the  lawyer.  A  sudden 
emotion  was  perceptible  on  his  iron-bound  visage 
when  his  eyes  first  fell  upon  me,  of  the  nature  of 
which  I  could  form  no  idea.  Mr.  Pigtop  bowed 
to  him  very  stiffly ;  and  it  was  some  tune  before 
the  genuine  cordiality  of  my  manner  could  put 
Mr.  Seabright  at  his  ease. 

While  we  were  at  table,  I  begged  to  decline 
giving  him  our  names,  as  I  was  fearful  that  the 
intelligence  might  travel  to  the  Hall,  and  thus 
give  some  scope  for  further  machinations  on  the 
part  of  Joshua.  But,  as  is  too  often  the  case, 
we  were  prudent  only  by  halves. 

The  groom  that  we  had  hired,  not  being  en- 
joined to  secrecy,  had  unhesitatingly  told  every 
one  belonging  to  the  establishment  our  appella- 


806  RATTLIK,  THE  REEFER. 

tioDS.  The  landlord  and  his  household  were 
much  struck  by  the  similanty  of  the  name  by 
which  i  still  went,  Rattlin,  and  that  of  Rathelin: 
and,  thus,  whilst  I  was  playing  the  cautious  be- 
fore Mr.  Seabright,  the  news  had  already  reached 
the  Hall,  and  those  most  concerned  tx>  know  it, 
that  two  gentlemen,  a  Mr.  Rattlin  and  a  Mr. 
Pigtop,  with  their  groom,  had  put  up  at  the 
Three  BeUs  in  the  village,  and  had  sent  for  the 
lawyer. 

Had  I  been  inclined  for  amusement,  1  should 
have  found  it  to  satiety,  in  the  humorous  scene 
between  the  stiff  lawyer  and  the  dissatisfied  old 
sailor— the  lawyer  always  speaking  of  Pigtop  as 
the  reverend  gentleman,  and  addressing  him  as 
reverend  sir.  When,  after  supper,  we  had  care- 
fillly  secured  the  privacy  of  our  apartment, 
amidst  many  nudges  and  objurgations  -from  my 
former  shipmate,  I  proceeded  to  relate  to  the 
astonished  solicitor  who  I  was,  and  what  were  my 
motives  for  appearing  at  that  juncture  in  the 
neighbourhood.  I  also  told  him  of  the  persona- 
tion of  myself  that  I  understood  was  then  going 
on  at  the  Hall,  at  the  same  time  totally  sup- 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.       ,  807 

pressing   every    other  guilty   circumstance  of 
Daunton's  life. 

When  I  had  finished  my  recital^  I  produced 
my  documents;  and,  notwithstanding  that  he 
was  almost  breathless  with  wonder,  he  confessed 
that  he  believed Jmplicitly  all  my  assertions,  and 
would  assist  me  to  recover  my  rights,  and  dis* 
abuse  my  father,  to  the  utmost  of  his  abili- 
ties. 

"You  have  lost  much  valuable  time,*'  said 
he.  "  This  impostor  has  now  been  domesticated 
some  days  with  Sir  Reginald.  I  think,  with  you, 
that  he  has  no  ulterior  views  upon  the  title  and 
the  estates.  His  object  is  present  plunder,  and 
the  inducing  your  father,  through  the  agency  of 
that  scoimdrel  London  lawyer,  to  make  him  sign 
such  documents,  that  every  thing  that  can  be 
willed  away  will  be  made  over  to  him.  We 
must,  to-morrow,  proceed  in  a  body  to  the  Hall, 
and  take  the  villains  by  surprise.  I  will  now 
return  home,  and  prepare  some  necessary  docu- 
ments. As  this  is  a  criminal  matter,  I  will  also 
take  care  to  have  the  attendance  of  an  upright 
and  clear-seeing  magistrate,  who  will  proceed 


308  RilTTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

with  US — ^not  certainly  later  than  ten  o'clock  to- 
morrow." 

He  then  took  his  leave  with  an  air  of  much 
importance,  and  more  alacrity  than  I  could  have 
expected  from  a  man  of  his  years. 

When  Pigtop  and  myself  ^ere  lefb  alone, 
neither  the  first  nor  second  nor-wester  of  brandy 
and  water  could  arouse  him  fit>mhis  sullen  mood. 
lie  told  me  frankly,  and  in  his  own  sea-slang, 
that  he  could  not  disintegrate  t^e  idea  of  alawyer 
from  that  of  the  devil,  and  that  he  was  assured 
that  neither  I  nor  my  cause  would  prosper  if  I 
permitted  the  interference  of  a  land-shark.  I 
was  even  obliged  to  assume  a  little  the  authority 
of  a  master  in  order  to  subdue  his  murmurings 
— to  convince  his  judgment  I  did  not  try — in 
which  forbearance  I  displayed  much  wisdom. 
We  each  retired  to  our  respective  room,  with 
less  of  cordiality  than  we  had  ever  displayed 
since  our  unexpected  re-union. 

I  had  no  sooner  got  to  bed,  than  I  deter- 
mined, by  a  violent  effort,  to  sleep.  I  had  always 
a  ready  soporific  at  hand.  It  was  a  repeating 
and  re-repeating  of  a  pious  little  ode  by  a  late 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  309 

fashionable  poet.  It  seldom. fiEtiled  to  produce 
somnolency  at  about  the  twelfth  or  thirteenth  re* 
petition.  I  would  recommend  a  similar  prescrip- 
tion to  the  sleepless ;  and  I  can  assm-e  them  that 
there  is  much  verse  lately  printed,  and  by  people 
.  who  plume  themselves  no  little  upon  it,  that 
need  not  be  gone  over  more  than  twice  at  fisirthest ; 
excepting  the  person  may  have  the  St.  Vitus' s 
dance,  and  then  a  third  time  may  be  necessary. 
I  would  specify  some  of  these  works  were  it  at 
all  necessary — but  the  afflicted  have  only  to  ask, 
at  random,  for  the  last  published  volume  of 
poems,  or  take  up  an  annual,  either  old  or  new^ 
and  they  may  be  dosed  without  the  perpetration 
of  a  pun. 

Three  times  had  I  slept  by  the  means  of  my 
ode,  and  three  times  had  I  awaked  by  some  hor- 
rible dream,  that  fled  my  memory  with  my  slum- 
bers. I  could  draw  no  omen  from  it,  for  my 
mind  could  not  bring  it  out  sufficiently  distinct 
to  fix  a  single  idea  upon  it.  However,  as  I 
found  my  sleep  so  much  more  miserable  than 
my  watchfulness,  I  got  up,  and,  putting  on  a 
portion  of  my  clothes,  began  to  promenade  my 


310  RATTLIN,  THE  R£EF£R. 

room   with  a  slow  step   and  a   very  anxious 
mind. 

I  had  made  but  few  turns,  when  my  door  was 
abruptly  thrust  open,  and  Pigtop  stalked  in  fully 
dressed. 

^^  I  can^t  sleep,  Rattlin,"  said  he,  "  and  tar- 
nation glad  am  I  to  see  that  you  can'^t  caulk 
either.  A  dutiful  son  you  would  be  to  be  snoozing 
here,  and  very  likely,  at  this  very  moment,  the 
rascal^s  knife  is  hacking  at  your  father's  wea- 
sand.  It  is  not  yet  twelve  o'clock  ;  and  I  saw 
from  my  window,  from  whence  1  can  see  the  Hall 
plainly,  a  strange  dancing  of  lights  about  the 
windows,  and  you  may  take  an  old  sailor's  word 
that  something  imcommon  's  in  the  wind.  Let 
us  go  and  reconnoitre." 

"  With  all  my  heart ;  any  action  is  bett*?r 
than  this  wretched  inactivity  of  suspense.  I 
will  complete  my  dress,  and  you,  in  the  mean 

I 

time,  look  to  the  pistols.'* 

We  were  soon  ready,  and  sallied  forth  unper- 
ceived  from  the  inn.  We  had  no  purpose,  nu 
ultimate  views;  yet,  both  Pigtop  and  myself 
seemed  fully  to  understand  that  we  should  be 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  811 

cDmpelled  into  some  desperate  adventure.      I 
was  going  armed,  and  by  night,  like  an  assassin, 
to  seek  the  presence,  or,  at  least,  to  watch  over 
the  safety,  of  a  father  whom  I  have  never  seen, " 
never  loved,  and  never  respected. 

I  cannot  elevate  the  moral  feelings  of  my 
readers  by  any  display  of  filial  affections.  My 
impulses  were  utterly  selfish,  and  decidedly  re- 
vengeful and  unchristian. 

The  space  that  separated  the  abode  of  my 
father  from  the  inn  was  soon  passed ;  and,  a  little 
after  midnight,  I  stood  within  the  gloomy  and 
park-like  enclosure  that  circumscribed  the  front 
of  the  large  old  mansion.  The  lodge  was  a 
ruin,  the  gates  had  been  long  thrown  down,  and 
we  stumbled  over  some  of  their  remnants,  im- 
bedded in  the  soil,  and  matted  to  it  with  long 
and  tangled  grass.  I  observed  that  there  was 
a  scaffolding  over  the  front  of  the  lodge ;  but 
whether  it  were  for  the  piurpose  of  repairing  or 
taking  down,  1  could  not  then  discover. 

As  my  companion  and  myself  advanced  to  the 
front  of  the  building,  we  also  observed  tliat,  lofty 
as  were  its  walls,  it  was  scaffolded  to  the  very 


312  EATTLIN,  THE  REKFSR. 

attics,  and  some  part  of  the  nx>f  of  the  right 
wing  was  ahready  removed.  Altogether,  a  more 
comfortless,  a  more  dispiriting  view  could  hardly 
have  been  presented;  and  its  disconsolatenesB 
was  much  increased  by  the  dim  and  fitful  light 
that  a  young  moon  gave,  at  intervals,  upon 
gables,  casement,  and  clumps  of  funereal  yews. 

**  And  this,'*  as  we  stood  before  the  portals, 
said  I,  to  Pigtop,  ^^  is  my  inheritance — mine.  Is 
it  not  a  princely  residence  ?*' 

'^  It  looms  like  a  county  jail,  that's  being 
turned  into  a  private  madhouse.  If  so  be  as  how 
witches  weren't  against  the  law  of  the  land,  this 
seems  the  very  place  for  them.  Do  you  believe 
in  ghosts  ?" 

*'  V  erily,  yes,  and — no. ' 

*^  Because,  I  think  that  I  see  the  ghosts  of  a 
hearse  and  four  horses  among  those  tall  trees  in 
that  comer." 

"  Then,  Kg,  we  must  be  on  the  alert  —  for 
I  see  it,  too — but,  the  vision  has  assumed  the 
every-day  deception  of  a  post-chaise  and  four." 

^^  Jeer  as  you  will,  it  is  a  hearse  :  somebody's 
just  losing  the  number  of  his  mess ;  it  will  take 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  313 

away  a  corpse  to-night,  depend  upon  it.  That  a 
post-chaise !  pooh  ! — I  can  see  the  black  plumes 
waving  upon  the  horses*  heads  —  and  —  hark 
at  the  low,  deep  moanings  that  seem  to  sweep 
by  it  —  that  is  not  at  all  natoral  —  let  us  go 
hack." 

"  I  was  never  more  resolved  to  go  forward 
There  is  villany  hatching-—  completing.  Wrap 
your  cloak  closdy  about  your  countenance ;  don't 
mistake  the  wind  for  groans,  nor  the  waving 
branches  of  cedar-trees  for  hearse-plumes — but 
follow  me." 

«  \^Tio's  afraid  ?"  said  Pigt(^. 

His  chattering  teeth  answered  the  question. 

As  I  was  prepared  for  every  thing,  I  was  not 
surprised  to  find  the  principal  door  open,  and 
tile  hall  filled  witli  iron-bound  cases,  and  several 
plate- chests.  As  we  stepped  into  the  midst  of 
these,  completely  muffled  in  our  cloaks,  a  fellow 
came  and  whisp^^  us,  ^^  Is  all  ready  ?" 

''  Hush  1"  said  I. 

"  Oh,  no  fear  —  they  are  at  prayers  in  Sir 
Reginald's  bed^room — he  is  going  fast  —  he  is 
restless — he  caimot  sleep  " 

VOL.  III.  p 


314 


RATTUN.  THE  ■ 


/-\ 


"  Wbere  are  the  aervants?" 
"  Sooring  in  thdr  nesta." 
"  And  who  U  with  Sir  Et^tneld  ?" 
**  Nol>od;  but  the  priest  and  his  son,  Mtf 
Ralph  —  without  the  lawyer  has  gone  up  stM 
he  saw  all  riglit  about  the  chaise.     But  am  1 
the  right  lay  ?" 

"  Surely.  Joshua  Dauntoa  and  I  — "  ^ 
"Enough  —  you're  up  to  trap  —  so  l^ndl 
a  hand,  and  let  us  take  the  swag  to  the  shai/i 
though  swag  it  aint,  for  ift  all  Joche's  by  A 
of  law.  Sir  Reginald  signs  and  seals  te-nig 
US  they  say  he  can't  live  over  to  morrow." 

"  No,  there  is  no  occasion  to  stir  yet  —  wh 
is  the  way  to  Sir  Reginald's  room  ?  1  mi 
speak  one  word  to  Joshua  before  we  start, 
know  the  countersign — it  will  bring  hJm  out 
me  in  a  moment.  I  would  advise  you,  in  I 
meantime,  just  to  slep  to  the  chaise  and  see 
right,  and  bring  it  up  nearer  the  door  quiet 
mind  —  quietly  —  for  these  boxes  are  d- 
beavy." 

"  You're  right  there,"  said  the  accompli 
and  departed  <m  his  errand,   after  previotii 


RA.TTL1N,  THE  REEFER.  315 

showing  me  the  staircase  that  led  to  the  apart- 
ment of  my  sick  father. 

When  the  rascal's  steps  were  no  longer  heard, 
*^Now,  Pigtop,"  said  I,  "show  your  pluck -^ 
help  me  to  lock  and  bar  the  hall-door — good — 
so  one  bloodhound  is  disposed  of;  he  dare  not 
make  a  noise,  lest  he  should  rouse  the  establish- 
ment. Now  follow  me  — but,  hark  ye  — no 
murder — ^the  reptile's  life  must  be  spared." 

Pigtop  made  no  answer  ^  but  pointed  to  his 
scarred  and  disfigured  lip,  with  a  truly  ferocious 
grin. 

It  is  necessary,  for  the  fully  understanding  of 
the  catastrophe  that  ensued,  that  I  describe  the 
site  of  the  old  building  in  which  such  startling 
events  were  passing.  The  front  approach  was 
level  from  the  road ;  but,  on  the  back,  there  was  a 
precipitous,  and  rugged,  and  rocky  descent,  up 
to  the  very  buttresses  that  supported  the  old 
walls— -not  certainly  so  great  or  so  dangerous 
as  to  be  called  a  precipice ;  for,  on  the  extreme 
right  wing  of  the  rear  of  the  house,  it  was  no 
more  than  a  gentle  inclination  of  the  soil,  deep- 
ening rapidly  towards  the  left,  and  there,  directly 

p2 


RATTLIN,  THE  RKEFER. 


under  the  extremity  of  that  wing,  a 
appearance  of  a  ^"ast  chastn,  through  tht'  bol^ 
of  which  a  brawling  stream  chafed  the  poill 
stones,  on  its  tvay  to  the  adjacent  sea.  ( 

Sir  Reginald's  sleeping- room  was  a  larga^ 
pestried  apartment  on  the  Brat  floor  ;  tJie  n-iiidl 
of  which  occupied  tlie  extr^ne  of  thv  lefl  «l 
of  the  hoQse,  and  was  directly  over  the  de«f 
part  of  the  chasm  wWch  I  have  described.      1 

All  this  part  of  the  mansion  was  scattill 
also ;  the  ends  (A  tJie  poka  b«nng  what  i 
poan.ll  to  be  but  a  very  precarious  inst-rlion 
the  projectionB  of  the  rocks  below.  It  had  bi 
the  intention  of  Sir  Reginald  thorougldy 
repair  his  mansion  ;  but,  falling  sick,  and 
low  spirits,  he  had  onlered  tlie  preparations 
be  delayed,  'llie  scaffolding  had  been  standi 
tlu-ough  the  whole  of  tlie  previous  winter ;  t 
the  poles,  and  more  especially  the  ropes  tl 
bound  them  to  tlie  cross-piece,  had  alrcf 
gone  through  several  stages  of  decay. 


aATTLIN,  THE  REEFKR«  317 


CHAPTER  XXV. 

The  concluding  Chapter,  in  which  at  least  one  subject  is 
dropped —  At  length  get  into  my  inheritance  according 
to  law — that  is,  I  am  heir  to  three  law-suits  —  discover 
a  new  Method  of  putting  down  Poaching — and  come  to 
London  to  enact  the  character  of  '*  Celebs  in  Search  of 
a  Wife." 

My  associate  and  myself  advanced  stealthily 
and  noiselessly  up  tlie  staircase.  We  met  no 
one.  The  profoimdest  security  seemed  to  reign 
every  where.  Favoured  by  the  dark  shadows 
that  hung  around  us,  we  advanced  to  the  door 
that  was  nearly  wide  open,  and  we  then  had  a  full 
view  of  every  thing  within.  The  picture  was 
solenm.  Seated  in  a  very  high-backed,  elabo- 
rately-carved, and  gothic  chair,  supported  on  all 
sides  by  pillows,  sat  the  attenuated  figure  of  my 
father.  I  gazed  upon  him  with  an  eager  curi- 
osity, mingled  with  awe.  His  coimtenance  was 
long  and  ghastly — there  was  no  beauty  in  it. 


^^^^^^^^^^^H 

1          •      I 

318                       aATTLlN,* 

Its  principal  expreBsionl 

th&t  his  days  were  dq 

him  intently.     1  challet 

tion,  and  it  nmde  no  an 

Directly  before  my  i 

covere<l  with  a  rich  an 

bordered  with  heavy  | 
j                           stood  four  tall  wax  can^ 

J                           altar  surmounted  by  1 

' 

cliaplain,   dressed    in  ' 

■ 

mumbling   fortli  som« 

spIendidly-iUuniiimted 

1 

him.    Thero  was  also  01 

, 

basin  of  water,  and  a  C 

i 

with  bones — relics,  no  i 

1 

spirit  of  miracle-workii 

1 

haps  performing  a  privi 

'llie  fitful  attention  1 

this  office  was  painful  tt 

was  evidently  wanderi 

himself  to  attend  only  i 

1,                                   table,  a  little  removed 

]                           scribed,  sate  the  person 

1 

he  liad  also  two  lights. 

RATTLlNf  THE  REEFER.  319 

employed  in  turning  over  and  indexing  various 
folios  of  parchment.  But  I  have  yet  to  describe 
the  other  figure  —  the^  to  me,  loathsome  person 
of  my  illegitimate  half-brother.  He  was  on  his 
knees,  mumbling  forth  the  responses  and  joining 
in  the  prayers  of  the  priest.  He  was  paler  and 
thinner  than  usual ;  he  looked,  however,  perfectly 
gentlemanly,  and  was  scrupulously  well  dressed. 

As  yet,  I  had  not  heard  the  voice  of  Sir  Re- 
ginald ;  his  lips  moved  at  some  of  the  responses 
that  the  two  made  audibly,  but  sound  there  was 
none.  At  length,  when  there  was  a  total  cessa- 
tion of  the  voices  of  the-other,  and  a  silence  so 
great  in  that  vast  apartment  that  the  rustling  of 
the  lawyer's  parchments  was  distinctly  heard^ 
even  where  1  stood— -even  this  hardened  wretch 
seemed  to  feel  the  general  awe  of  the  moment, 
and  ceased  to  disturb  the  tomb-like  silence. 

In  the  midst  of  this,  the  prematurely-old  Sir 
Reginald  suddenly  lifted  up  his  voice  and  ex- 
claimed loudly,  in  a  tone  of  the  most  bitterest 
anguish,  "  Lord  Jesu,  have  mercy  upon  me  ! " 

The  vast  and  ancient  room  echoed  dolorously 
with  the  heart-broken  supplication.     It  was  the 


3M  BATTUK.  TBS  RKKn*. 

ftrst  titne  that  my  father's  voice  feO  npun : 
it  was  so  plaintive,  ao  imbaecl  vitb  irrai 
nesE,  that  tbe  feeling  c^  rcBeataxoA  wbj 
lake  Ehame  to  myself,  I  bad  It 
boGom  melted  away  at  ooecv  t 
Aervesa  came  over  in*.  1  could  have 
self  upon  his  boeom  and  mpt  I  felt 
mother's  wroi^  liad  been  sveng«d. 
it  was,  with  all  the  Eecncy  that  t 
thought  il  my  interest  to  preserve,  I  coi 
K^ain,  in  a  nibdued,  yet  wneat  tone^  &4l 
sponding  to  his  broken  ejaculation,  from 
cerj'  buttum  of  uiy  li*>art,  "  .^nien," 

A  start  of  surpri^  and  terror,  as  my  he 
response  reached  the  ears  of  all  then  and  t 
assembled,  followed  iny  filial  indiscretion.  1 
looked  at  the  other  with  a  glance  that  pta 
asked,  "Was  tlie  voice  thine?  "  and  eacl 
reply  shook  his  head. 

"  A  miracle ! "  exclaimed  the  priest. "  Titt 
ner's  suppUeation  has  been  heard.     Let  us  pt 

During  this  solemu  scene,  events  of  a  ' 
difltrent  description  were  taking  place  at  the 
which  we  had  just  clandestinely  left.     Our 


r\ 


RATTLTN,  THE  REEFER.'  321 

had  been  noticed.  The  landlord  was  called  up ; 
he  became  seriously  alarmed^  the  more  especi- 
ally when  the  direction  that  we  had  taken  had 
been  ascertained.  He  immediately  concluded 
that  we  had  gone  to  Rathelin  Hall  to  conmiit  a 
burglary,  or  perhaps  a  robbery.  He  summoned 
to  his  aid  the  constables  of  the  village — called 
up  the  magistrate,  and  the  lawyer,  Mr.  Seabright  5 
and,  with  a  whole  posse  of  attendants,  proceeded 
to  the  rescue.  We  will  conduct  them  to  the  door 
that  Pigtop  and  myself  had  secured  when  we 
barred  out  Daunton's  accomplice,  and,  there 
leaving  them,  return  to  the  sick  chamber. 

After  the  reverend  gentlemen  had  concluded 
his  extempore  prayer,  but  few  of  the  sentences 
of  which  reached  our  place  of  concealment.  Sir 
Reginald  said,  ^*  My  friends,  the  little  business 
that  we  have  to  do  to-night  had  better  be  done 
speedily.  I  feel  unusually  depressed.  I  hope 
that  it  is  not  the  hand  of  death  that  is  pressing 
90  heavily  upon  me.  I  would  live  a  little  while 
longer — ^but  the  will  of  God,  the  Redeemer  of 
our  sins,  be  done!  Bring  the  papers  here — 
I  will  sign  them.    My  friend  Brown^  and  you,  my 

p  5 


:j 


3-22  RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

poor  and  too  loug  neglected  Ralph,  (addr^ 
J(»hua)  I  trust  to  your  integrity  in  all  this  iq 
ter  ;  for  not  only  am  I  averse  to,  but  just  novrfl 
capable  of,  business.  But,  my  dear  Ralph,  bd| 
we  do  this  irrevocable  deed,  kneel  down  ^ 
i^ceive  a  repentant  father's  blessing,  and 
that  father  ask,  witli  a  contrite  heart,  pordi 
his  son  and  of  his  God."  j 

Tlie  parchments  were  brought  and  placixl  ^ 
fore  the  baronet  by  tlie  assiduous  lawyer,  4 
the  son— for  son  to  Sir  Reginald  he  really  vat, 
with  looks  of  the  most  devout  humility,  and  I 
eyes  streaming  with  hypocritical  t^^ars,  knelt  r 
verently  down  at  tlie  feet  of  the  trembUiig  ai 
disease- stricken  parent.  His  feeble  hands  a 
outstret<?hed  over  the  inclined  head  of  the  in 
poator,  his  lips  part— ttiis — this — I  cannot  be 
— so,  before  a  single  word  falls  from  our  comm( 
father,  I  rush  forward,  and,  kneeling  down  ht 
iiide  my  assassin- brother,  exclaim,  in  all  U 
agony  of  wretchedness,  and  the  spirit  of 
newly-born  affection,  "  Uless  me,  even  me  ai» 
O  my  father  1 — be  has  taken  away  my  birthrigb 
and,  behold,  he  would  take  away  my  blessing  ala 
Bless  even  me !  " 


RATTLIN,  THE  RE£FER.  323 

«  Ralph  Rattlin,  by  all  that  *s  damnable !" 
screamed  forth  the  self-convicted  impostor. 

Thus,  this  apparently  imprudent  and  rash 
step  was  productive  to  me  of  more  service  than 
could  have  been  hoped  from  the  deepest-laid  plan. 
In  a  moment  we  were  on  oiir  feet,  and  our  hands 
on  each  other's  throats,  lliis  sudden  act  seemed 
miraculously  to  invigorate  our  father — ^he  rose 
from  his  seat,  and,  standing  to  the  full  height  of 
his  tall  and  gaimt  figure,  placing  his  bony  hand 
heavily  on  my  shoulder,  and  looking  me  fixedly 
in  the  face,  said,  **  If  thou  art  Ralph  Rathelin, 
who  then  is  this  ?'* 

"  The  base-bom  of  your  paramoiir !''  —  and 
with  a  sudden  energy  I  hurled  him  from  me,  and 
he  lay  bruised  and  crouching  beneath  the  lai^ 
oriel  window,  at  the  extremity  of  the  room. 

**  It  was  unseemly  said,  and  cruelly  done,** 
said  the  baronet  sorrowfully.  "  Oh,  but  now  my 
sins  are  remembered  upon  me !  I  cast  my  sons 
loose  upon  the  face  of  the  earth,  and,  in  my  dying 
hour,  they  come  and  struggle  together  for  their 
lives  before  my  eyes — ^verily  am  I  punished ;  my 
crime  is  visited  heavily  upon  me.'' 

The  other  parties  in  the  room  were  little  less 


«1 

P,  win  da 

I  daoM 


u 


SM  UttUN.  THE  KCKnm. 

aS«ctod  with  TanouB  pmotiaBB.      Tbe  I 
attorney  was  making  rapidhr  for  tfae  ioat,  i 
he  wBs  met  by  the  adroocing  F^gtop,  who  ti 
him  again  ialo  the  apaitniest,  and  I 
fac*d  the  priest — the  lattn-  stUl  in  HiacaBedi 
the  former  dresseil  as  a  BMrtarian  pnadwr.    1 

Their  actipathy  was  mutaal  and  iwntMitaBM 
But.  ere  the  really  reverend  geotlemaa  eonld  M 
acme  pious  objurgatioQ  at  this  apfiarettt  t^ 
fincDce  with  his  rammumcant,  P^ii^  iixliilgM 
one  of  tfae  hefivi««t  oaths  llim  iidj^aiiljiaiiilii^ 
togellier  e\f  r  concocted,  and  straightway  wn 
anil  ^iz^  the  crouching  Joshua,  aud  luggied  h 
hefoTp  the  agoniied  &ther,  exclwming,  "  Wi 
nmts  out  against  him.  Sir  Reginald,  for  buiglai 
forgery,  and  assa^nation — he  is  my  priaoocir. 

The  craven  had  not  a  word  to  say— Jiis  km 
tuocked  together — he  was  a  pitiable  object 
a -terror-stricken  wretch.  Sir  Reginald  aires 
began  to  look  down  upon  him  with  cootem| 
and  my  heart  hounded  witliin  me,  wheu  I  i 
ready  found  him  leaniug  parentally  on  my  sha 
der.  "  Speak,  trembler ! — is  tliis  person  the  v« 
table  Ralph  Ratlielin?" 


RATTLIN«  THE  RESriR.  3125 

"  Pity  me,  pardon  me,  and  I  will  confess  all." 

*^  Splits !"  said  the  attorney,  and  vanished 
through  the  now  unguarded  room. 

"  Speak." 

"  This  gentleman  is  your  lawful  son — but  I 
also—" 

**  No  more— escape — ^there  is  gold— -escape — 
hide  yoursdtf  from  the  eye  of  man  for  ever  !" 

**  No,"  said  Pigtop,  giving  him  a  remorseless 
shake — **  Do  you  see  this  scar  ?'' 

"  Let  him  go  instantly,  Pigtop ! — obey  me— I 
have  promised  his  mother — ^it  is  sacred." 

^^  For  my  sake  1"  scdd  Sir  Reginald. 

At  this  instant,  the  stewsurd  ru^ed  in,  partly 
dressed,  crying  out,  "  Sir  Reginald,  Sir  Regi- 
nald, the  constables  and  the  magistrates  have 
broken  down  the  hall-door,  and  are  now  coming 
up  stairs,  to  arrest  the  housebreakers — ^they  have 
packed  up  all  the  plate,  and  it  lies  in  the  hall, 
ready  to  be  carried  oflF !" 

"  My  God !  It  is  too  late,"  said  Sir  Reginald, 
wringing  his  hands. 

"  No,"  said  I ;  "  let  him  escape  by  the  win- 
dow.   Be  so  good,  sir,**  said  I  to  the  priest,  ^*  to 


^^^^^^■1 

1 

j 

i 

1 

3-26                    RATTLIN,  TB 

y 

B«-ure  the  door — ^we  sha 

1 

long  as  you  can  againrt 

i. 

folding  will  enable  the  cm 

J 

with  comparative  little  i 

'ITie  priest  obeyed ;  « 

door,  but  also  barricadw 

I 

"  Now,  Pigtop,"  said 

Rer\-e  my  friendship,  aai 

escape  —  he  is  paralyze 

Come,  sir,"  addressing 

t 

tainly  be  hung  if  you  A 

1 

"  He'll  be   Imng  yel 

"  Itut  I  am  an  old  sailor 

nevertheless,  I  know  tha 

1 

hung.     Come  along,  sir 

Between  us  we  led  hi 

1    <  \ 

then  thrust  liini  out,  and 

'      1 

the  cross  boarding  of  tl 

i 

the  window-sills. 

. 

"  Slide  down  the  pole 

M 

Pigtop  together. 

» 

"  I  can't,"  said  he  si 

is  awfully  deep." 

i 

m  '~^ 

RATTUN,  THE  REEFER.  327 

«Oh,what8liaUIdor 

"  Cast  off  the  lashing  just  above  you,"  said 
Pigtop ;  "  pass  it  over  the  cross-piece  over  your 
head,  make  a  running  noose,  put  it  under  your 
arms,  and  keep  the  other  end  of  the  rope  in  your 
hand.  You  may  either  cling  to  the  pole  with 
your  legs  as  you  like,  or  not — for  then  you 
can  lower  yourself  down  at  your  ease,  as  comfort- 
ably as  if  you  were  taking  a  nap." 

"  Come  away,  Pigtop— shut  the  window,  close 
the  shutters — the  constables  are  upon  us  1"  I 
exclaimed,  lliis  was  done  immediately,  and 
thus  was  the  immaculate  Joshua  shut  out  from 
all  viiew.  As  the  attacks  on  the  door  of  the 
apartment  became  more  energetic,  and  we  con- 
cluded that  Joshua  was  now  safe,  we  were  going 
to  give  the  authorities  entrance,  when  we  heard 
a  dreadful  crash  on  the  outside  of  the  window. 

"  'Hie  lubber's  gone  by  the  run,  by  G — d !" 
said  Pigtop ;  *^  he'll  escape  hanging,  after  all !'' 

"  Let  us  hope  in  mercy  not,'*  said  Sir  Re- 
ginald, shuddering.  **  I  trust  it  is  not  so.  I 
hear  no  scream,  no  shriek.  I  am  sure,  by  the 
sound,  that   it  was  the  toppling  down  of  the 


■!' 


338  BATTUN,  THE  RESFIK. 

boards — ^he  has  most  likely  displaced  i 
Hwm  in  his  descent." 

"Shall  we  admit,  Sir  Rc^naU,  the  ] 
who  are  thundering  at  the  door  ?" 

**  Not  yet :  let  tliere  be  do  ^ipeamwe  of  J 
order — remove  these;"  pointing  to  the  i 
altar  and  the  crucifix ;  "  and  would  it  not  M 
well,  my  friend,  to  divest  yourself  of  tlioae  4 
Testmeuts  1 — they  are  inilKtio^ la  heiet»alM 
Asrast  me,  sir,  to  my  chair."  ^ 

I  i^acdd  him  respectftiBy  neatly  in  Hie  ^ 
tion  in  which  1  first  diwavered  him.  All  w 
tiges  of  the  CatlioHc  Religion  were  careftUly  i 
moved,  and  the  door,  at  last,  thrown  open,  1 
crowd  entered. 

Hurried  explanations  ensued ;  but  we  could  i 
conceal  from  the  magistrate  tliat  a  robbery  I: 
been  planned  and  nearly  effected,  and  that  1 
real  culprits,  for  whom,  at  first,  Pigtop  am 
had  been  mistaken,  had  escaped. 

At  length,  the  master  of  the  inn  su^es 
that  perhaps  they  had  passed  out  of  the  wind) 
and  might  be  still  upon  the  boarding  of 
gcsffblding.     The  shutters  were  hastily  thro 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEPBR.         329 

open — and,  sight  of  horrors,  Joshua  Daimton 
was  discovered  hanging  by  the  neck—- dead !  Sir 
Reginald  gazed  for  some  moments  in  speechless 
terror  on  the  horrible  spectacle,  and  then  fell 
back  in  a  death-like  swoon. 

The  body  was  brought  in,  and  every  attempt 
at  resuscitation  was  useless.  He  had  died,  and 
was  judged ;  may  he  have  found  pardon  !  Some 
thought  that  he  had  hung  himself  intentionally, 
so  c(Mnpletely  had  the  noose  clasped  his  neck  ; 
others,  among  whom  were  Figtop,  thought  dif- 
ferently. The  old  sailor  was  of  opinion,  from 
the  broken  boards  that  had  given  way  beneath 
his  feet,  that,  when  he  had  got  the  noose  below 
his  chin,  and  no  lower,  that  his  footing  or  the 
scaffolding  had  failed  him ;  and  that,  letting  go 
the  other  end  of  the  rope,  it  had  taken  a  half 
hitch,  and  thus  jammed  upon  the  cross  pole. 
However  the  operation  was  brought  about,  he 
was  exceedingly  well  hung,  and  the  drop  repre- 
sented to  perfection.  As  Pigtop  had  prophesied, 
the  post-chaise  in  the  shrubbery  was  turned  into 
a  hearse,  in  order  to  convey  his  body  to  the  inn 
for  the  coroner's  inquest. 


\u 


330  RA.TTI.IN.  THE  REEFER. 

"  I  knew  I  should  live  to  see  him  hung,"  g 
FSgtop,  doggedly,  as  he  bade  me  good  lUg 
when  we  both  turned  lata  our  respective  raj 
for  the  night,  in  the  house  of  my  fether.  J 
Contraiy  to  all  expectatiooB,  the  shock,  iuafe 
of  destroying,  seemed  to  have  had  the  eflefl 
causing  Sir  Ralph  to  rally.  He  lived  fort 
months  after,  became  fully  satisfied  of  my  id 
tity ;  and,  just  as  he  was  banning  to  taafl 
happiness  in  the  duty  and  allectioii  of  his  saOj 
died,  liaving  first  token  every  legal  precai^ 
to  secure  mt-  the  quiet  possession  of  my  la 
inheritance. 

My  grief  at  his  decease  was  neither  violent 
prolonged.  After  his  burial,  I  was  on  the  p 
of  repairing  the  old  mansion,  when  I  found  i 
self  involved  in  three  law-suits,  which  challeu 
my  right  to  it  all.  1  soon  came  to  a  determ 
tion  as  to  my  plan  of  action.  I  paid  off  all 
establishment ;  and,  having  got  hold  aigaii 
my  foster-father  and  mother,  Mr.  and  1 
Brandon,  1  rebuilt  the  lodge  for  them  c 
fortably,  and  there  I  located  them.  1  shul 
the  whole  of  the  Hall,  excepting  a  small  sit) 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  331 

room,  and  two  bed-rooms,  for  Pigtop  and 
myself;  and  thus  we  led  the  lives  of  recluses, 
haying  no  other  attendants  than  the  Bran- 
dons. 

By  these  means  I  was  enabled  to  reserve  all  my 
rents  for  carrying  on  my  law-suits,  without  at  all 
impairing  the  estate.  In  eighteen  years,  I  thank 
God,  I  ruined  my  three  opponents,  and  tliey  all 
died  in  beggary.  The  year  after  I  came  into 
undisputed  possession  of  my  estates,  the  next 
heir  got  a  writ  issued  against  me  of  **  de  inqui' 
rendo  lunaiico,'*  on  the  groimd  of  the  strange 
and  unworthy  manner  that  I,  as  a  baronet  with  an 
immense  estate,  had  lived  for  those  last  eighteen 
years.  I  told  my  reasons  most  candidly  to  the 
jury,  and  they  found  me  to  be  the  most  sensible 
man  that  they  had  ever  heard  of,  placed  in  a 
similar  position. 

After  having  thus  speedily  settled  these  little 
matters,  as  I  was  fast  approaching  my  fortieth 
year,  I  began  to  alter  my  style,  and  live  in  a 
manner  more  befitting  my  rank  and  revenues ; 
yet  I  still  held  much  aloof  from  all  intimacy  ' 
with  my  neighbours. 


iio 


an  kattus,  the  kebfkb. 

I  am  now  in  my  forty-Gnt  year,  and  ^ 
corpulent.  It  is  bow  twentv-ooe  yean  ! 
saw  niy  unfurtunate  parent  interred,  and  I  wal 
about  my  domains  Sir  Raiphed  to  my  h««rf| 
rontont— or,  more  properly  speaking,  dif>cont«d 
Old  Pigtop  is  a  fixture,  for  be  has  now  tvatt 
become  old.  I  cannot  call  kim  my  friend,  fcri 
must  veneiBte  him  to  whom  I  give  ihat  tin 
and  veneration,  or  even  esteem,  Kg  was  nnd 
bom  to  inspire.  My  humble  companion  he  i 
not,  for  no  person  in  )us  deportment  towards  m 
can  be  less  humble  than  he.  He  is  as  quarrel 
some  as  a  lady's  lap-d<^,  and  seems  never  a 
happy  as  when  he  has  effectually  thwarted  mj 
intentions.  Prince  Hal  said  of  the  jolly  wine^ 
bibber  Jack,  that  "  he  could  have  better  speret 
a  better  man."  Of  Pigtop  I  am  compelled  t( 
say  more — "  I  could  not  spare  him  at  all,"  U< 
has  become  net^ssary  to  roe.  He  was  never  verj 
handsome ;  but  now,  in  his  sixty-second  year,  1« 
is  a  perfect  fright ;  so,  at  least,  every  body  tell 
me,  for  I  don't  see  it  myself. 

His  duties  about  my  person  seem  to  be  c«i 
tinually  healthily  irritant  j  the  most  iroportair 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  333 

one  of  which  is,  to  keep  me  a  bachelor,  and  scare 
away  all  womankind  from  Ratbelin  HalL  He 
controls  my  servants,  and  helps  me  to  spoil  them. 
Such  a  set  of  heavy,  bloated,  good-for-nothings 
impudent,  and  happy  dogs,  never  before  fed 
upon  a  baronet's  substance,  contradicted  him  to 
his  very  &ce,  and  fought  for  him  behind  his 
back.  The  females  in  my  establishment  bear  but 
•  most  niggardly  proportion  to  the  inal«-in  tl>e 
ratio  of  Falstaff,  one  pennyworth  of  bread  to  his 
many  galkms  of  sack :  and  these  few  are  the  most 
hideous,  pox-marked,  blear-eyed  damsels  that  the 
county  could  produce — all  Pigtop's  doing. 

Never  shall  I  forget  the  consternation,  the 
blank  dismay,  of  his  coimtenance,  when,  one 
fine,  sunshiny  morning,  I  announced  to  him  my 
intention  of  installing  in  the.  mansion  some  re- 
spectable middle-aged  gentlewoman  as  my  house- 
keeper. It  was  some  time  before  he  could  find 
his  speech. 

*'  Blood  and  thunder  !  bombs  and  iury !  wint 
have  I  done,  that  you  should  turn  me  out  of 
your  house  in  my  grey  hairs?  Now,  I'm  dis- 
mantied,  as  it  were,  and  laid  up  in  ordinary.*' 


RATTLIN,  THE  BEKFKB. 


"  Turn  you  out,  Piggy  !  what  could  put] 
in  your  foolish  noddle?"  i 

"  If  madam  comes  in,  I  cut  my  cable,  1 
pay  off  Rathelin  Hall  right  abaft — even  if  I  dS 
a  ditf  h,  and  am  buried  by  parish.  Take  a  ha| 
keeper  ! — oh  Lord  !  oh  Lord  1  oh  Lord  !  I  in 
just  as  soon  see  you  married,  or  lu  your  cofi 

"  But  some  such  a  person  is  absolutely  ntf 
sary  in  an  establishment  of  this  extent,  J 
housekeeper  I'U  have,  of  some  sort."  { 

"  Why  the  devil  need  it  be  a  wooian,  ttt 
why  won't  a  man  do — why  won't  I  do  f " 

"  You?" 

"Yea,  me  —  Andrew  Pigtop.  I  ask  the 
pointment — do,  there's  a  good  Sir  Ralph,  m 
it  -out  directly.  Clap  your  signature  to  it, 
let  it  run  as  much  like  a  commission  as  possi 
I  ask  it  as  a  favour.  You  know  the  great  sa 
fices  that  1  have  mode  for  you." 

"  The  first  time  I  ever  heard  of  them,  U' 
my  honour.     Pray,  enlighten  me." 

"  Why,  you  must  be  convinced,  Sir  [lalph 
1  had  not  left  the  navy  to  attend  you  all 
world  over,  as  the  pilot-fish  sticks  to  the  afal 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  835 

I  should,  by  this  time,  have  been  an  old  post- 
captain,  and  very  likely  C.  B.  into  the  bar- 
gain." 

"  You,  who  remained  one  quarter  of  a  cen- 
tury a  master's-mate  during  an  active  war,should 
rush  up  through  the  grades  of  lieutenant  and 
commander  to  be  posted,  during  another  quarter 
of  profound  peace !  But,  perhaps,  you  would 
have  depended  upon  your  great  fiEunily  interest. 
Well,  if  I  make  out  your  commission  as  my 
housekeeper,  will  you  do  the  duties  of  the  office?" 

"  On  course." 

"And  wear  the  imiform  ?" 

"  On  course,  if  so  be  it  be  such  as  a  man  might 
wear.  I  bar  petticoats  and  mob-caps,  and  fe- 
male thingamies.^ 

"  Will  you  carry  the  keys  ?  " 

"  On  course." 

"  And  see  that  the  rooms  and  the  passages 
are  well  swept,  and  that  the  maids  are  up  be- 
times in  the  morning  ?" 

"  D — ^n  them !  —  on  course  —  certainly." 

"  And,  when  Lady  Aurelia  Cosway,  and  her 
five  beautiful  daughters,  drive  up  to  the  door, 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFS 


will  you  go  and  receive  them  in  the  n 
making  them  a  profound  curtsey,  beg  lo  c 
tUem  into  a  dressing-room?" 

"  No — because,  d'ye  see,  no  ladies  ever  H 
iartber  than  your  door." 

"  And  whom  may  I  thank  for  that  J  " 
"Me,  assuredly,"  said  Kgtop,  very  ] 
"  I  do," 

However,  neither  Pigtop  nor  myself  ci 
points.  I  did  not  make  out  his  camniij 
which  vexed  liim ;  but,  on  the  other  haiid,1 
not  get  me  a  lioiisekeeper,  wliich,  at  first,  a  ', 
vexed  me  ;  but,  really,  my  friend,  in  an  ex -a 
manner,  does  most  of  the  duties  of  the  offit 
which  he  aspired  extremely  well. 

\\'ithout  vanitj-,  I  still  preserve  my  ^ 
looks,  though  1  must  confess  to  a  little  ui 
coming  obesity  of  figure ;  yet,  through  my 
dolence,  and  tlie  perseverance  of  Pigtop, 
perhaps  certain  retollections  •  f  a  green 
bright  bay  in  one  of  the  summer  islands, 
fear  that  I  am  a  confirmed  hat^helor.  Howe 
I  am  not  altogetlier  onp  of  those  natifrugea  \ 
Bumere,  for,  1  can  safely  say,  there   is   ac 


RATTLIN.  THE  REEFER.  337 

pauper  on  my   estate,  and  that   I    have  con- 
siderably added  to  my  paternal  acres. 

I  have  always  been  honest;  and,  I  shall, 
acting  up  to  my  principles,  confess  that  I  am  in 
somewhat  bad  odour  with  the  neighbouring 
gentry.  The  word  neighbouring  must  be  un- 
derstood quite  in  a  rural  sense.  The  nearest 
resident  to  myself  who  can  legally  write  'Squire 
to  his  name  is  remote  from  the  Hall  about  five 
miles.  My  neighbours  at  that  distance  lie  thickly 
around  my  estate,  among  whom  I  may  eniuoie- 
rate  a  couple  of  newly-made  lords,  two  magis- 
trates, and  several  decently-estated  gentlemen. 
My  retired  habits  gave  them  their  first  im- 
favourable  impression  of  my  character ;  and, 
having  no  female  presiding  over  my  establish- 
ment, the  ladies  were  necesscurily  kept  aloof  from 
my  celebate  abode. 

It  is  true,  that,  after  my  return  from  a  long 
tour  I  made  with  Pigtop,  immediately  that  I  had 
worsted  my  le^  adversaries,  at  first  I  received 
all  the  dinner  invitations  that  were  sent  to  me, 
and  returned  them.  By  giving  gentlemen's  parties. 

These  invitations,  however,  soon  grew  less 

VOL.  III.  Q 


ass  EATTLIN,  THE  REEFER. 

numerous  and  less  frequent,  till  at  length  they 
altogether  ceased. 

**  My  Lord  Sparrowclose,  be  known  to  Mr. 
Pigtop,  my  friend ;  Mr.  Pigtop,  be  known  to 
Lord  Sparrowclose/'  This  kind  of  speech,  wher&- 
ever  we  went,  was  received  with  a  grim  courtesy. 

^^  Why  does  he  always  bring  that  sea-ruffian 
about  with  him  ?  '*  it  was  my  misfortune  often 
to  hear  from  Lady  Mammas  and  honourable 
Misses ;  but,  when  I  ever  chanced  to  hear  simikr 
speeches,  I  always  replied,  with  all  manner  of  de- 
precating humility,  '^  Because,  my  dear  Madam, 
or  Miss,  he  is  my  friend." 

It  must  be  confessed  that  Pigtop  had  not  the 
talent  of  becoming  popular.  Not  that  he  was 
deficient  in  knowledge  of  the  usages  of  society, 
or  the  courtesies  of  the  acdk-h-mangery  or  the 
drawing-room.  But  he  was  obstinate  and  brusque 
to  the  men,  and  sneering  and  universally  ill- 
natured  to  the  ladies.  He  would  tell  his  story 
after  dinner,  which,  in  his  technical  jargon,  was 
bad  enough  ;  but,  what  was  infinitely  worse,  be 
always  insisted  upon  explaining  it,  and,  then  if 
he  were  thwarted,  of  explaining  that  explanation. 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  339 

Moreover,  he  had  a  decided  contempt  for  all 
who  had  not  had  a  nautical  education,  and  no  unli- 
mited affection  for  all  manner  of  alcoholized  fluids. 

In  the  presence  of  the  ladies,  when  he  was 
dragged  there,  and  nothing  had  that  power  but 
his  anxiety  to  take  care  of  me,  he  was  always  in 
my  way.  No  sooner  was  the  white  hand  of  some 
fistscinating  young  lady,  with  auburn  ringlets 
shaking  from  them  ambrosial  odours,  laid  with 
encouraging  fiuniliarity  upon  my  arm,  than  this 
Kgtop  would  thrust  himself  between  us,  and  com- 
mence some  horrid  calumnious  tale,  dishonourable 
to  the  fair  sex.  But,  why,  it  may  be  asked,  did 
I  endure  all  this  ?  The  answer  is  very  obvious. 
The  mongrel  rough-coated  cur,  that  is  so  surly 
to  all  but  its  master,  is  cherished  by  him  the 
more  fondly  on  account  of  the  general  hate.  Be- 
sides, Kgtop  had  certainly  saved  my  life  once, 
if  not  twice ;  and  I  was  accustomed  to  him  from 
the  habit  of  years. 

I  at  length  became  as  unpopular  as  my  fidus 
Achates  among  the  men.  Among  the  women 
I  was  only  pitied.  But,  the  finishing  stroke  to 
my  complete  isolation   from   the   surroimding 

q2 


340  mATTLIN.  THE 


fbUowing 


Our  pait  of  the  county  abounded  in  game,  and, 
consequently,  in  poachers.  I  enrolled  mprif, 
soon  after  I  felt  myself  secure  irf*  my  estate,  in 
the  association  to  extirnate  noachinff • 

I  employed  two  gamekeepers  and  four  hdpeis, 
ufOD,  high  wages.  It  would  not  do.  Crack, 
crack !  all  night — my  frfantations  nvaged,  and 
my  fences  broken  down.  Tlie  ezpence  was 
enormous,  and  so  was  my  exa^ration.  Pigtop 
sided  with  my  angiy  fedings.  So,  night  after 
night,  he  and  I  went  out  watching,  in  order 
to  ajq^irehaid  the  rascals. 

The  whole  eight  of  u%  at  last,  after  many  a 
weary  and  a  wet  night,  at  length  fell  in  with  a 
party  of  seren*  Instead  of  surmxlering  upon 
being  RmmKHied,  they  coomienced  a  regular  and 
x'eiy  pretty  bush^fighting  sort  of  skirmish.  Guns 
were  fired  on  both  sides.  I,  myself,  got  weU 
stung  with  several  small  shot,  buried  in  my 
person.  I  confess  it  with  some  shame,  we  were 
beaten,  owing  to  the  cowardice  of  my  servants, 
and  our  guns  taken  from  us  and  broken. 

Pigtop,  who  had  been  unnecessarily  violent^ 


RATTLIN,  THE  REEFER.  341 

even  when  he  saw  that  violence  was  no  longer  of 
service,  was  thrashed  with  the  stock  of  his  piece 
almost  to  a  mummy,  and  then  flung  into  a  muddy 
pool,  where  he  had  well  nigh  been  suffocated. 
The  poachers,  having,  at  length,  satisfied  their 
vengeance,  withdrew,  carrying  oflF  their  one 
wounded  man. 

The  next  morning  I  began  to  reflect  seriously 
upon  what  had  been  gained.  There  was  my  friend 
nearly  killed,  and  in  bed  with  a  raging  fever ;  my- 
self scarified  and  insulted,  and  defied,  and  well 
blooded,  llie  outrage  made  a  great  noise ;  but 
every  one  was  astonished  and  offended  at  the 
cool  and  quiet  method  of  my  proceedings. 

The  woimded  poacher,  the  §on  of  a  tenant 
of  my  own,  a  most  respectable  man,  had  received 
his  mortal  smnmons.  I  was  reviled  for  inter- 
fering to  prevent  his  removal  to  the  county  jail. 
He  died  some  days  after,  in  my  presence. 

He  never  betrayed  his  accomplices.  I  was 
much  affected  by  the  scene ;  and  was  as  kind  as 
I  could  be  to  his  wretched  and  bereaved  parents. 
Upon  which,  I  received  a  polite  letter  from  the 
committee  of  my  neighbours,  acquainting  me  that 


342  RATTLIN,  THE  ESEFCB. 

1  was  expelled  by  a  unammous  vote  from  Ui^ 
Society  for  Eradicating  Poaching  in  the  County 

of .     To  wliicli   I  rettirned  thanks  for  th» 

honour  done  me.  , 

So,  when  Pigtop  was  convalescent,  I  ordered 
him  to  take  pen  and  ink,  and  calculate  th9  yearly 
expence  for  the  preserx-ation  of  my  game — whpo 
it  appeared  that,  wliat  with  the  ealanes  of  t)k« 
wortlJess  cowards  called  keepers,  damag««,  &c,, 
it  exceeded  four  hundred  pouode  ! 

*'  And  we  never,  I^gtop,  get  game  whei 
want  it  in  sufficient  quantities." 

"  Never," 

"  Tlien,  what  do  we  get  ?  what  have  we  got 
for  it  ?" 

"  Devilisltly  well  beaten  !" 

"  We  must  alter  our  plaD.  —  A  farilliant 
thought  strikes  me.  I'll  have  more  game  at 
command  than  any  man  in  England !" 

So,  that  day  I  discharged  all  my  game- 
keepers. 

"  What  do  you  intend  to  do?"  said  Pigtop. 

"  To  poach  on  my  own  manors." 

Afler  a  little  negociation,  the  man  relying  im- 


RATTLIN^  THE  REEFER.  343 

plicitly  on  my  honour,  I  obtained  an  intenuew 
witli  the  leader  of  the  gang,  now  reduced  to  six. 

"  Giles  Grimjaw,"  said  I,  "  I  am  going  to 
give  you  unlimited  license,  both  by  day  and  by 
night,  to  poach  over  all  my  manors"  —  the 
feUow  would  not  believe  me  —  ^^  upon  these  con* 
ditions,  that  you  supply  me  with  whatever  game 
I  want" — ^lie  grinned  forth  his  rapture  —  "  that 
you  sliall  not  hurt  my  fences."  He  and  liis 
party  tliat  very  morning  would  set  about  re- 
pairing them,  and  in  repair  they  would  keep 
them.  "  Very  well ;  but,  mark — ^you  must  allow 
no  other  gang  to  poach  upon  my  estate  but  your 
own."  He  should  like  to  see  any  attempt  it. 
I  had  bound  them  to  me  body  and  soul.  Their 
lives  were  at  my  service. 

**  I  ask  nothing  of  you,  Giles,  but  an  ho- 
nourable fulfilment  of  your  contract.  My  larder 
is  very  empty  just  now." 

Tlie  fellow  departed,  I  really  believe,  as  happy 
as  if  I  had  bestowed  upon  liini  an  estate. 

Now,!  call  this  extirpating  poacliingeffoLtually. 
I  had,  by  this  manoeuvre,  clianged  six  desjx^ratc 
rascals  into  as  many  active  and  misalaried  game- 


keepers.  My  grounds  and  my  kitchen  are  thi 
best  E'tocked  with  game,  and  I  am  the  man  mod 
hated  by  my  neighbours  in  the  county.  I  an 
very  sorry  for  the  latter  predicament,  the  mon 
especially  as  tliey  say,  that  my  gomekeepei] 
Ipvy  on  the  surromiding  preserves,  itistoad  Q 
my  own.  However,  as  1  must  shortly  tome  i 
town  to  superintend  this  biography  through  thi 
press,  1  shall  thus  give  time  for  their  angi^ 
feelings  to  subside. 

When  1  live  in  the  metropolis,  which  1  hai| 
not  visited  for  so  many  year?,  I  sliall  go  inW 
society ;  and,  should  I  find  a  lady  as  beautifu 

and  loving  as ,  I  may  marry  after  all,  le 

Pigtop  say  what  he  will.